The BLTS Archive - Darkness Rising
by Ananke (aeteananke@gmail.com)

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Published: 01-14-01 - Updated: 01-14-01

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Tom and B'Elanna have been arguing after the events in LINEAGE.
B'Elanna, hormonal and moody, refused to reconcile with her husband,
demanding that he bring Chakotay to her instead. An hour later, and
Tom is brooding in the empty mess hall.

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OPEN
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Tom sighed and took a seat in the mess hall, staring out at the stars
while nursing a drink. The room was in low light, empty, tranquil, but
things didn't seem any more relaxed than normal. In fact, he felt
quite a bit more haggard, worried, old. As a shuttle glided past an
aft window, he glanced down at the hand holding his cup, staring in
abject misery at his wedding band.

Chakotay entered, face grim and mind apparently set with a cause.
Replicating coffee, he sat immediately opposite the pilot, seemingly
gazing into his soul, in search of something.

The tension of previous years returned immediately. Tom stiffened,
scowled. "Knock it off."

Chakotay chuckled. "Your wife is sleeping peacefully with her Targ,
Paris."

Tom nodded grudgingly."Thanks. Maybe I can make it to the couch
tonight without earning a concussion." Peering out at the sweeping
alien stars in distraction, he finally resettled his gaze on the
commander. "You once loved each other."

Chakotay stiffened. "We had a relationship, yes."

Tom nursed his cup once again, eyes going distant, meditative. "Why
did you break it off?'

Chakotay, shifted in his seat, expression darkening defensively. "I
wasn't what she needed."

A faintly wheezing laugh burst forth from the helmsman. "Funny, I bet
the Targ could say otherwise tonight."

Chakotay, warningly. "Don't make hotheaded accusations, Lt. Nothing
happened."

The other laughed softly, darkly. "I know. That's the problem. She's
never been comfortable enough around me for 'nothing to happen.' She
loves you, Chakotay. As a brother, a father figure, a lover-hell, I
don't think she knows. But she loves you, and she takes more strength
from you than she ever believes I have. Just being around you gives
Lanna peace. I only stir her to tears or wrath. That hurts."

Chakotay didn't quite know what to say.

Tom was half drunk, and swiftly decided to go ahead for the kill. "You
know what this was about, right? She thinks I'm going to leave her and
the baby. Lanna had such a horrific childhood that she can't accept
love. Except from you. Chakotay, always Lanna's exception." Another
bitter laugh escaped as he hunched forward. "Maybe she's right. Maybe
I will leave. Not because I don't love her, but because I'm weak. I'm
not worthy. I know how Carl Torres felt. Maybe 12 years from now, my
little girl will be holding a fishing pole and crying Klingon tears as
I walk out of her life. Maybe 12 years from now Lanna will be in your
arms, or a bitter Klingon warrior, and I'll be a nonentity. Cycles
repeat."

Chakotay, quietly. "You've got 12 years to dwell on it, Lt, and 12
minutes to sober up and be on the bridge before I assign you to the
brig." He stood and frowned briefly before shaking his head and
striding towards the door.

Tom's voice stopped him. Turning, he saw that Tom wasn't drunk at all,
but lost, terrified. The younger man and barely tolerated nemesis
spoke, tones weary. "Chakotay, make me a vow."

Chakotay nodded slowly.

"Don't let me be Carl Torres. No matter where we are 12 years from
now... don't let me hurt them. Remove me from their lives before I
create Miral and B'Elanna for the second time."

Nodding brief and empathetic assent, the former Maquis walked out. Tom
returned his gaze to the stars.

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The End