The BLTS Archive- Too Much by Amiroq. aka Gypzy (fitchett@netaccess.co.nz) --- Disclaimer: Paramount owns Trek, the Spice Girls own Too Much. Virgin Records own the copyright, so no infringement intended for any of you guys. I own the story. Archive: ASC Archive; everyone else ask me. This story was written in March and can also be found on Forbidden Luv and my homepage. --- Love is blind, as far as the eye can see Deep and meaningless, words to me Easy lover, I need a friend Road to nowhere, twist and turns but will this never end --- I stare out the window for a moment, caught in the deep silent blackness of it all. No stars, no ships, no comets, no nebulae. No Borg. No Kazon. Just space... and radiation, as Tom said two months ago. Just before we discovered the vortex that could have gotten us past the void. Tom. Now there's an interesting subject. It's like... I don't know, it's almost like there's no emotion anymore. We get together, we fight, we don't speak, we make up. We fight. Sometimes we manage to stay together for a week or more, but there's still nothing in it. Just sex, and the recognition that comes from the crew when they see us together. Look, it's Tom and B'Elanna. Never Tom. Never B'Elanna. Always tomandbelanna. --- Well my dear you'll know that he pleases me But sometimes illusion ain't no revolution There ain't no release for me --- I mean, sure, the sex is good. Really good. I guess. But it's all so shallow, and we both know it'll never last. For now, though, I can't see any way out. --- Too much of something is bad enough But something's coming over me to make me wonder Too much of nothing is just as tough I need to know the way to feel to keep me satisfied --- I used to wish we weren't always under constant attack; after all, it was hell on the ship. I never got any sleep, I didn't have time to eat, and as for leisure time, well, I'd forgotten what the word meant. Now, of course, it's a different matter altogether. I'd give almost anything to get out of here, and I bet the rest of the crew would as well. It sounds strange, I know, but in this void nothing seems so filling anymore. Once I could bury myself in an Engineering problem and wouldn't notice if there was a red alert and, simultaneously, a herd of elephants running through Engineering. Now it seems so boring, like going swimming in a half foot deep pool. Except one thing - the one thing that really interests me at the moment. And god I hope no one finds out about it. --- I wrapped myself from around your finger Hold me too tight or left to linger Something fine, built to last Slipped up there I guess we're running out of time too fast --- That evening in his quarters.... That was incredible. His hands had the most amazing feel, sometimes firm and probing, and then a moment later so soft all I could feel was a tingling, where he'd touched me. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced with Tom, or anyone else for that matter. He made my body ache for more until I thought I couldn't stand it. He knew just when to do what; his timing was perfect. I think I'm in love, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. The only thing wrong with it is.... Everything. It's wrong, I know it is. He knows it is. I guess that's why he made me promise it would stop as soon as we got out of here. And then this morning... when we discovered the wormhole. A stable wormhole leading to the border of the Beta and Delta Quadrants. Well, almost. About ten lightyears off, actually, but that's nothing compared to how far we've come already. Everyone's so happy about it, except me. I feel so guilty for not wanting to escape the blackness, and Tom noticed it. I had to lie, and that just made me feel more guilty. If only Seven had never discovered the wormhole. --- What part of no don't you understand (understand understand) I want a man not a boy who thinks he can Boy who thinks he can --- Tom's always joking around, especially now. He's just like a kid. I can't handle it anymore. I don't know what to do. The way I see it, there's Tom and a social life, or there's the greatest guy I could ever dream of, and isolation. I don't want to have to make that kind of choice right now. But I know I have to. --- I hesitate outside his door. Can I really do this? Maybe I should wait. See how things turn out. Maybe. I reach up to ring the chime. --- The End