by ^Q the Immortal
---

This is my response to the 'death' challenge. It is the 'last message' from Harry Kim to Tom Paris. I reckon this is the closest I'll ever come to a P/K story, so I'm obscurely proud of it and will be extremely hurt at any flames that come my way. Constructive criticism is always welcome, however, and compliments will get you everywhere!!

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything, I own nothing except this story. Please don't sue me - I work for the Education Department so you wouldn't get much anyway.

Archive it anywhere you like, but remember to let me know so's I know where this baby is heading.

---

Tom started. The shock of the liquid music pouring through his body eased his overwhelming emotions somewhat.

'Liquid music?' he asked himself cynically. 'Now you get poetic?' Tom snorted. 'Get real!!'

But then Harry's voice drew him back to reality and he turned to face his best friend and lover.

"Remember this piece, Tom?" Harry asked. "I wrote I the day after we first made love"

"You'd pulled a double shift, and I had the day off. I'd woken up in your arms, feeling so content and so safe - and then you left me. All alone."

"I was bored, and anxious, waiting for you to take me in your arms again. I'd dreamed about it for so long, and just when it seemed like I had you all to myself, Batehart gets sick and you have to work his shift."

"I was so annoyed! At Batehart, for getting sick. At Captain Janeway, for calling you to the bridge and even at you, for being the best damn pilot in the entire Delta Quadrant. I paced up and down your bedroom for hours before I finally decided to head for the holodeck to try and wind down.

"I ran the 'Italian villa' program. And I sat there, on those cool stone steps leading down to the water, gazing out over the Mediterranean ocean. It was so beautiful. As blue as your eyes, Tom, and I got the strangest urge to play. So I did. I asked the computer to simulate a clarinet and away I went."

"That day, it seemed like every note I played was right, the pitch perfect. It all fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle, creating a beautiful picture."

"Then I played it for you," Harry's mouth curved into a small smile. "And you said it was the most erotic piece of music you'd ever heard."

Harry's smile blossomed into an ear to ear grin. "Remember what happened next?" he asked cheekily.

"Ohhhh, yeah. . ." Tom groaned at the mere memory of it.

"I always knew you had nimble fingers, but I never knew just how nimble."

"Everything was perfect after that. Perfect." Harry said the word with deep satisfaction.

"Until. . ." breathed Tom, hardly daring to say the word.

". . .Akiitaria," finished Harry, his head bowing in remembered pain and sorrow.

"I thought for sure we were dead. I thought that was the end of everything. And not just our lives, but our love. Up until then I hadn't told you that I loved you. It wasn't just sex, although that part was great. It was two friends who cared enough to pleasure each other in that way without all the other things that seem to come with entering a relationship. I thought I could live with that. I thought I could be content with great sex and a friendship that I knew would last long after the sex had stopped. I thought I could. . ." Harry's voice faltered and, unthinking, Tom reached for him.

But Harry gathered himself and continued. "I told myself that it was enough. And it was, it has been, Tom."

"Don't blame yourself, my love," Harry said fondly. "I wouldn't trade one second of our time together for the entire Delta Quadrant. I love you. Anytime that I had with you was enough."

As Harry spoke, Tom felt the tears run down his cheeks. 'Oh, Harry!' he thought. 'I was a fool - a blind, stupid fool!'

"No, Tom. You aren't a fool," Harry said, as if he'd read Tom's thoughts.

He smiled that small smile again and said "I knew you would never love me the way I love you. Have always loved you. I didn't go into this with blinkers attached. I wasn't blind. You need to be free, Tom. Like a wild bird, a hawk soaring over the mountains. You weren't meant to be tied down. I could only hope you'd stay for while."

"Remember me, Thomas Eugene Paris. And remember that I loved you. Always and forever."

With those last words spoken so softly, Harry vanished, leaving a sobbing Tom Paris alone in a dark and silent holodeck.

---

End