by KRA

---

Some comedy, some angst, major slash, that's the name of this game! Oh, and minor SPOILERS for the episode 'Spirit Folk.'

Disclaimer:

They don't belong to me,
They don't belong to you,
They belong to Paramount,
So please don't sue.

"I can't believe he did that. I can not believe he did that," Harry muttered darkly to himself as he entered the mess hall.

Sure, he had been acting like everything was forgiven, and for the most part, it should be. Even Maggie had forgiven him, and she was the one who had been turned into a cow! So why did Harry feel like wringing his neck?

"Hey, Harry! Sit with me!"

Megan Delaney, he thought. Not now. I'm not in the mood for this! "Sure, Megan, what's up?"

Harry placed his tray across from hers at the table, but she slid around to sit next to him. He gave an involuntary shrug and sat down. It could be worse. She leaned over close to whisper in his ear.

"What's with Tom and B'Elanna?"

"What do you mean?" he stammered, honestly confused.

"You know! They hardly spend any time together anymore. She's always in engineering, he's always with you. Are they splitting up?"

She was trying to act concerned, but failing miserably. Harry didn't notice, though. He was too busy forming a plan for revenge that would have done a Cardassian proud. Part of him knew it was evil, that he would most likely regret it later, but there was no stopping his momentum. He leaned a little closer and whispered conspiratorially the bad news.

"Don't tell anyone," he said, knowing darn well she would. "but there is definitely trouble in paradise. Tom's having 'performance problems,' if you get my meaning."

"You mean. . .!"

"Yep. The Delta Flyer isn't launching."

"Oh, no! How terrible."

"Now remember, you can't tell anyone."

"Oh, I won't. Promise."

By lunch, the entire ship was buzzing with the scuttlebutt.

---

"Megan!" Tom called, out of breath from running down the corridor to catch up with her. "I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it, Tom?" she asked, her voice and face full of sympathy. Tom groaned inwardly and did his best to keep his voice gentle.

"Jenny told me that she heard about my 'problem' from you. Did you start the rumor?"

"No!"

"Now, Megan, I'm not mad, but I need to know who told you, if you didn't start this."

"I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone."

"You told Jenny."

"But she's my sister."

"Well, now everyone knows. Or rather, thinks they know. I've been chasing this rumor all day. You might as well tell me."

"Oh, all right. Harry told me."

"Harry!? Why would he. . .? Of course! The cow!"

"What!?"

"Never mind. Just be at my quarters at 1900 hours. And bring Jenny. I'm proving once and for all that the rumor is not true. Oh, and Megan?"

"Yeah?"

"Who came up with 'The Delta Flyer isn't launching'?"

"That was Harry, too."

Tom turned on his heel and headed back down the corridor form the way he came, muttering the whole way.

"That little. . .! I'm gonna kill him!"

---

Tom's quarters, 1900 hours.

Several people were sprawled on his furniture, grumbling about Neelix' latest disaster they had just endured and wondering if Tom was planning on providing any snacks.

"Not to the biggest group of gossips on the ship! I want this rumor stopped, now!"

"Why?" Crewman Phillips, who had gone from anonymity to busy body in the flick of a pen, asked. "If Harry said it, it has to be true."

"Give me a break!" Tom exclaimed, exasperated. "Harry isn't that innocent and its not like he's never lied before."

"True," Jenny interjected. "but he's always defended you. Hes always been the one person you'd never mess with and you've always been the one person he'd stand in front of a photon torpedo for."

"Until the cow," B'Elanna added. "Oh, you've done stuff to him before, but nothing like the cow. You shouldn't have done that."

"What is it about this cow!?" Megan was about to lose it.

"I'll tell you later," Phillips said, patting her leg.

"B'Elanna, help me out here," Tom pleaded with his girlfriend. "Tell them I'm fully functional."

"Well, it's been awhile. But last time we were together it was ok."

"Gee, thanks for the help."

"Tom," Megan interrupted, "you said you were going to prove once and for all that the rumor isnt true. How are you planning to do that?"

"Well, here's the deal," Tom sat in a chair and leaned forward with his arms on his knees. "Me and B'Elanna will have sex. . ."

"Oh, no!" BElanna leaned back from everyone, shaking her hands. "I'm not putting on a public performance!"

"No!" Tom replied, slightly shocked and a little aroused. "Thats not what I meant! I meant, everyone could listen."

"Uh, uh," Phillips replied, shaking his head. "She's your girlfriend and would be more than willing to help you out of this. We need to hear you having sex with someone else."

"I'd just as soon Tom not sleep with another woman," B'Elanna said, not really sounding that upset.

"Doesn't have to be another woman," Phillips supplied. "Didn't you have a boyfriend in the Academy?"

"Where do you hear about this stuff?"

"Around."

"Yes, I had a boyfriend, and no, I don't have a problem with sleeping with a man. B'Elanna?"

"I don't have a problem with sleeping with a man."

Tom gave her a good natured thump on the back of the head, eliciting a giggle from her.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," he laughed.

"Who did you have in mind?" BElanna asked Phillips. "You?"

"Uh, no thanks, but if you're not busy later. . .?"

"Hey!"

"Sorry, Tom. Just checking. We need someone who could be talked into it. Someone Tom could easily convince to go to bed with him."

"Someone who wouldn't want to disprove the rumor," Jenny added.

"Because he has a stake in keeping it going," Megan finished for her sister.

"Harry!" everyone exclaimed together.

"Harry's the one who started this," Tom stated, ignoring the little voice that was telling him he was about to, yet again, get him and his best friend in trouble. "He wouldn't want to admit he lied."

"How are you going to pull this off?" B'Elanna, attempting to be the voice of some reason, asked. "He's not going to go for everyone listening to him having sex."

"I'm not going to tell him everyone is listening. When I get inside his quarters, I'll open the comm channel to the hallway outside his door."

"Ok," Phillips agreed, "but it has to be done tonight and you have to stay with me until it's time. That way well know you didn't get to him and talk him into helping you out of this."

"Ok," Tom reluctantly agreed. "Everyone, spread the word. Harry's quarters in three hours. But make sure everyone stays out of sight until I'm in, and try not to let this get back to Harry, huh?"

---

Harry was wracked with guilt. He still couldn't believe how low he had sunk to get back at Tom. He had no intention of leaving his quarters.

His door chimed and Tom shouted from the other side.

"Hey, Har! Open up! We need to talk!"

"Um, I'm kinda busy right now! Can we do this tomorrow? At breakfast? In front of witnesses?"

Oh, we've got witnesses, Tom thought, grinning wickedly.

"I'm not mad at you, buddy! I just think that you owe me an explanation! I wanna work this out, not beat you up!"

Harry sighed and ordered the privacy locks off. It was the least he could do. Tom charged into the room, startling Harry and causing enough of a distraction to allow him to turn on the comm without him noticing. Harry was more than just a little taken aback when Tom swept him into a bone crushing embrace, kissing him roughly.

"So, you think this baby won't fly, huh?" Tom smiled at his shocked friend in a teasing but gentle way. He had intended on scaring Harry, possibly causing him to admit he had made it up without going through with bedding him. Unfortunately, Tom was quickly losing his menacing edge in Harry's warm brown eyes.

"Tom! I. . .," Harry stuttered, only to be silenced by a much more gentle kiss.

"Well, buddy," Tom, having completely lost the hard edge he had walked in with, looked back up at Harry and pushed aside a dark lock of hair. "I have a flight plan all mapped out and you're the final destination."

Tom bent his head again and buried his face in Harry's neck, kissing and sucking at the soft skin there.

"Tom, I don't. . ." Harry attempted, but was having problems finding the words.

"It's ok, Har," Tom said without lifting his head. "I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to. Just say so, and I'll stop." He found a particularly sensitive spot behind Harry's ear with his tongue.

"Oh, Tom," Harry moaned.

That was all the encouragement he needed.

---

"Flight plan?" Jenny laughed.

"Final destination?" Megan joined in. "Can he get any cornier?"

Crewman Phillips looked over at B'Elanna who was scowling at the door.

"You ok?" he asked her.

"It was funny, at first," she replied, "when Tom was scaring the crap out of him. But he sounded, almost. . . loving, there at the end."

"Don't worry about it B'Elanna," Jenny smiled and squeezed her shoulder. "It's just Harry."

Outside of Harry Kim's quarters, fifty odd crew members were gathered. Many more throughout the ship had tapped into the comm channel that fed from his room into the corridor with their comm badges. For at least ten minutes, everyone was listening to the sound of clothing rustling, soft moans and sudden outcries.

"Oh, god!" Harry's voice could be heard loud and clear.

"Where is he doing him?" someone in the corridor exclaimed. "Against the door?"

"Say my name, Harry," they could hear Tom breathe.

"Tom." Barely a whisper.

"Say it!"

"Tom!" came Harry's strangled moan.

"I want. To hear. You say. My name, Harry!"

"TOM! DEAR GOD, I LOVE YOU, TOM!"

For a moment, all activity on the ship was a standstill. There was no sound from Harry's quarters for a moment, then suddenly there was the sound of scuffling. Moments later, Harry came running out, still fastening his uniform. He looked at the stunned faces and whirled back around, nearly colliding with Tom who had barely gotten his pants back on.

"What are they doing here!" he shouted, tears streaming down his face. "What I did may have been wrong, but you're a monster!" Harry dashed back into his quarters.

Tom turned to follow but was hit in the face with a wad of clothing.

"And these are my quarters!" Harry shouted as the doors began to close. "So you leave!"

Tom stared at the closed door for a moment, clutching the remainder of his clothes to his chest. Slowly, he turned to face the still stunned audience.

---

"Tom?" B'Elanna asked rather calmly, despite the fact that she looked like she was about to rip somebody's head off. "Didn't you know?"

"Know?" he was still in shock, not quiet knowing what was going on. There was also the sinking pit in his stomach telling him everything had gone horribly wrong.

"Yes, Tom," B'Elanna replied, her tone becoming strained and her fists starting to clench. "Didn't you know that Harry was in love with you?"

"No, did you?" He honestly meant it the way it sounded. He had no clue and he desperately hoped someone else did.

"No!" she shouted, completely losing what little cool she had. Tom instinctively backed against the door. "If I had do you think I would have allowed this to happen!? Harry's my friend, and I thought he was yours."

"He is!"

"Then how come you didn't know!?"

"It doesn't work like that! It's people on the outside of the situation who're supposed to notice these things! Why didn't you know!?"

"Um," an ensign standing against the wall in the back of the crowd cleared her throat. "I don't know about Harry, but I always thought you were in love with him, you know, with the way you're always touching him."

Tom just stared at her.

"That's it," B'Elanna sighed, her anger running out. "You and I have had nothing but problems lately. As bad as I feel about Harry, this is almost a relief. We're over." She turned around and glared at the still gathered crowd. "And the show's over, too! Tom's ego is still intact and Harry's has been shattered! You can all go on with your lives, now!"

With that, B'Elanna stormed off and the now guilty crew members dispersed.

Tom remained, leaning against the door, clutching his shirt to his chest, silently begging Harry to forgive him.

---

Tom couldn't sleep. He could still smell his hair, taste his mouth, feel his skin, hear his sighs. . .

Well, if we're going for all five senses here, see the tears rolling down his face. The pain and humiliation in his eyes. The total trust he had in me completely betrayed.

Tossed some more before he completely gave up on sleep and went over to his computer.

"Computer, display file 'shore leave.'

One after another, still pictures from various shore leaves rolled by, more than half of them with Harry. And in all of those they were posing side by side, either sitting or standing, one of Tom's arms wrapped securely around his shoulders.

"Computer, freeze shore leave 26."

There it was. He knew there was at least four stills of them sitting under that tree with the bright orange flowers. They had been playing a game with B'Elanna, not looking at the camera at the same time. And there it was, right in front of his face. Tom grinning for the picture while Harry gazed at him with such open tenderness it nearly burned a hole in his heart.

"Continue to shore leave 27 and hold."

It had been Tom's turn to play the game.

"I can't believe how galacticly stupid I am!" he muttered. "I don't even know what's going on in my own head!"

Tom threw on some clothes and ran out of his quarters, leaving the still of himself smiling adoringly at Harry on the computer.

---

Tom buzzed Harry's quarters then thought about what time it must be. Just as he was going to turn to leave, the doors swished open and a sleep deprived Harry stood before him.

"Tom! I didn't expect. . . um. . . what. . .?"

"Can I come in?"

"Um, ok."

Harry stepped aside and Tom walked into Wonderland.

"Who died?" he asked, staring at all the flowers.

Harry smirked and waved his hand around the room, indicating the many different arrangements.

"Seems I've been focusing on the wrong population. Go ahead, take a look at the cards."

"Bendrick writes poetry!?"

"Yeah, and he's not too bad."

"Oh, here's another guy who writes poetry:

'I may be a bruiser,
But Paris is a loser,
Let me be your man,
I'll rearrange his face.'

That didn't rhyme. Huh. Lt. Rollins. Isn't he that huge guy from security?"

"Six foot five, 300 pounds of solid muscle? Yeah, that's him."

"Harry, you'd look like a ten year old standing next to him."

Tom continued reading the cards, promising varying degrees of physical harm to himself and undying affection to Harry.

"Hey! This guy's proposing!"

"And to think, I've never seen him before."

"Well, it looks like he's been watching you. We need to keep an eye on him. Listen to this one. . . 'Tom may be cute, but he's a jerk and a pain in the. . .' and it just gets fouler from there. Who's this Lt. Commander Adam? He needs his mouth washed out with soap."

"So he's passionate about what he feels. What you did this afternoon. . . you're lucky I let you back in my quarters."

"I know, Har, and I can never begin to tell you how sorry I am, but I'll try every day for the rest of my life if you'll just forgive me. You're not seriously considering going out with this guy, are you?"

"Why not? You jealous?"

Tom looked down at his feet and then brought forward the hand he had been hiding behind his back. He handed Harry a single white rose.

"I'm obviously out classed, here," he said, not looking up. "But I wanted something that reminded me of you, perfect and pure. You know how I can be. Sometimes I don't think before I say or do something, and I come across as an insensitive creep. But I swear. I'll never hurt you again, Harry." Tom forced himself to look in his eyes. "Please, Harry. Give me a chance to show you how much I love you."

Without taking his eyes off of him, Harry slowly moved across the room until he was standing nose to nose with his best friend. They stared at each other for a moment then Harry closed his eyes and, without touching him any where else, pressed his lips against Tom's.

Tom's bottom lip quivered for a second, then he pulled Harry to him in a desperate embrace. When they finally pulled apart, they were both grinning.

"So," Harry began coyly. "How about a repeat of this afternoon, except in bed and alone."

"You got it, gorgeous."

---

End