by Jeanette Kofoed
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Archive: PKelite, ATPS, Paris Nights, TPP and TPD

Date: May 2000

Answer to PKelite challenge from Adam: Imagine they had being lovers, making the guilt all the more unbearable.

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Happiness surrounded them all; they were going home, or at least those still alive. The slipstream warp core, a way to cut through the long voyages and bring them home instantly. Harry had never been more proud of himself. He had helped creating this. . . this wonder, but then why didn't he feel happy?

Maybe it was because Tom was standing all alone. The party freak was working and it worried him. Tom had never expressed any positive emotions about the fact that the project he and B'Elanna had been working on might bring them home, but, on the other hand, he had shown no negative emotions either. Harry knew his lover well. When Tom wasn't showing any emotions it was because something was troubling him and right now he intended to find out. Slowly he walked over, looked at the smooth features of Tom's handsome face, a true beauty.

His delicate fingers worked fast and careful over the screen. Harry looked closer. "It isn't going to work Harry. What we have built is a ticking bomb."

Harry stood open mouthed. What was he talking about? Tom was questioning him and it angered him. He hardly heard Tom's explanation and almost didn't want to follow Tom to the holodeck to prove something that was obviously a mistake.

But Tom was right and deep down Harry knew it as they tried for the third time, the fourth, fifth. . . He knew, but wouldn't admit it. He could fix this and he would bring Tom home, to the Alpha Quadrant where they would all be safe. Tom would be safe. No aliens would harm him and Harry would have him all to himself.

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The night was quiet; a man sitting at his console completely ignored his lover. He worked hard and he would prove that the only person he would ever love had been wrong.

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"So all we have to do is collect the right phase variance and the use the right coordinates. This can be done from the Delta Flyer. I can fly ahead and detect the phase variance before Voyager and then send you the correct coordinates."

He had made it work and he was proud, happy and scared. 'Would Janeway agree or. . .' All his fears disappeared as he saw Tom smile at him, a warm loving and reassuring smile. Tonight he would ask Tom to marry him, that way Tom wouldn't be alone once they made it back.

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In the quiet solitude of the night two men sat, one on his knees, whispering to the other man. Suddenly the arms of one were thrown around the neck of the other, the one on the floor. Slowly he stood up and picked up the other and carried him to the bedroom, the doors hissing shut.

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"Harry?" the voice startled him out of his dream. Chakotay was standing in front of him with a concerned look on his face. "Harry, are you all right? You seemed to be gone there for a moment." Chakotay looked at Harry as he stood up, closing the box he had checked.

Harry shook his head. "I was just thinking about them, all of them. They would have been alive now if it hadn't bee…"

Chakotay cut him off. "Stop that, Harry. You will not make it any better with blaming yourself and, if this works, we will soon all be together again."

Harry didn't want to discuss this with Chakotay. He hadn't been the one who had given the wrong coordinates, the one who had refused to listen to the one man he was supposed to listen to, to trust. Tom. Tom had known he second-guessed the new modified warp engine. And Harry wouldn't listen, too proud and too stupid. Besides Chakotay wouldn't understand. He had never known about him and Tom, about the fact that Harry had asked Tom to marry him on the night to the accident.

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"Star Fleet is going to find us soon, seven hours maybe. Voyager is right ahead on the next planet."

Tess looked up at Chakotay. She did this for him. Because she loved him and she knew how much it pained him to know that he was alive and none of the others were. Harry came up in front. "Take us in a position to beam down," he said quietly. Soon he would know. Maybe they were still alive somewhere. Maybe.

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Chakotay walked down to sickbay to find the Doc. Harry said he had to see something. What Chakotay didn't know. There was no survivors, all dead on impact or frozen to death minutes later. "What a horrible way to go," he muttered to himself as his foot accidentally hit a frozen body. Megan Delaney.

Harry walked slowly towards his quarters; he didn't want to go to the bridge he would leave that to Chakotay. Harry couldn't stand seeing Tom dead, in his mind he wasn't, he was just lost in time and it was his duty to bring him back. The doors in front of him slowly opened. He had to use force to make the rift big enough for him to go through. Finally, he was in. He quickly went to the bedroom to find the box he was looking for.

He looked for the box where he kept the gift from Tom, a little fine blue crystal, the same color as Tom's eyes. He sat on the stone hard bed, looking at it. Remembering Tom, the first day he had met him in Quark's. Charming, beautiful and Harry had loved him from that first time. Harry suddenly remembered that he had a mission to carry out, before Star Fleet found them.

He got up to leave when he saw him, on the floor. Tom lay right beside Harry's desk, the chair frozen and broken. Harry went over to him. His Tom had been here waiting for him, died here because of him. The pain and horror that covered Tom's always handsome face made Harry cry. He had always dreamed that Tom hadn't felt it, that Tom had been oblivious to whatever happened. But no, he had been in pain and Harry hadn't been there.

Instead he had lived fifteen years. He might have been in hell, but he had still lived. He moved his hand down over the once soft cheek, which was now hard and cold.

He felt a stabbing pain in his heart. He felt tears starting to move slowly down over his cheeks landing on Tom's face below. They quickly froze into little pearls that made Harry cry even stronger. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into the eyes of Chakotay. "I didn't know. You two never showed it." He sat down and embraced his crying friend. "This is why you felt so guilty, because Tom was your lover."

Harry snapped his head up and wiped his tears away, "Tom is still my lover, this is going to work and we'll be together again." Chakotay nodded understanding, stood up and held a hand out to Harry and helped him up too. He looked at Harry, grinning ruefully at him.

"You know, I never could figure out why you had that ring on your finger. I asked you if it was any of the woman, Megan, B'El, but no. How was I to know you liked men? And, for that matter, Tom." Then his face grew serious. "But I see it now, the love, the tender affection he had for you. You two were always together and you are really a perfect match."

Harry smiled warmly at Chakotay, those words helped. "Then we'd make sure that I see him again, should't we?"

They both beamed back to the Delta Flyer, with the Doc, and soon had everything prepared. Now the only obstacle was a certain Star Fleet vessel but they would make short work of that. They would both change history, maybe destroy a few Peace agreements that had been made in the past fifteen years but still, they would revive the best crew ever, 150 men and women.

Together, with the Doc and the Borg transmitter implanted in Seven's brain, they would contact the Seven from the past and tell her to change the coordinates. They had to work fast because Star Fleet was after them,, but Harry was determined to make it work. He wanted back and for fifteen years he had worked on getting the correct coordinates to send him there. Now all they had to do was send them.

Suddenly Chakotay's voice spoke. "Harry. you have to hurry. The Delta Flyer will blow up soon."

Here goes, Harry thought as he transmitted the coordinates. He waited, but nothing happened. "Why are we still here? It didn't work."

Doc looked up at the frantic man. "Are you sure you did it right? Maybe it is not sending."

Harry looked at him, his eyes burning with anger. "Of course I did," he spat back.

The Doc merely looked at him and calmly said, "Then maybe you should have them drop out of the slip-stream instead of having then continue."

Harry mentally kicked himself. Why hadn't he thought of that? Why? Why had he always been trying to bring them home instead of saving them? He had been doing the exact same thing fifteen years ago, not listening. Only interested in getting them all home, bringing Tom in to a safe Quadrant. He quickly remodified the coordinates and sent them. It would dissolve the slipstream but save Voyager.

His last thought before the Delta Flyer blew up was, "I love you, Tom."
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Harry had just minutes before arrived back from the Delta Flyer. It would have been a certain death if it hadn't been for the strange message to Seven. He quickly left the hangar and went to the mess hall. He wanted to check over what he had done wrong.

Minutes later Janeway walked in and handed to him a message, from the future. Harry looked into the face of himself. . . Correction, a possible future Harry Kim. The words that he had spoken had terrified him. Tom, lying dead on the floor in his quarters. He had been waiting for him. Suddenly Harry stood up and almost ran towards his quarters.

The doors opened and revealed Tom sitting at his terminal, writing. He raised his head and looked at his exhausted lover soon to be husband. He smiled and spoke, "Harry what's wrong with you?" Tom never got a reply before he was hauled to his feet and dragged to his bedroom. Every time he attempted to speak, he was silenced with another kiss.

The last word that was heard before the doors closed behind the two was Harry saying, "Tomorrow I'll tell the Captain and as soon as she has the time, we'll marry." Nothing more than a few muffles was heard from Tom. Only his heart spoke what he couldn't say. . ."I love you."

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End