Always Be There by kira-nerys


Thanks to VastSee for going above and beyond the call of duty as usual, Calico for giving me hints and pointers on where to go with the story when I didn't know what to do with it and to Charlene for help with grammar and thorough beta.

Author's Note: This story was originally planned to be much, much longer with a pretty complex plot, but after some things that happened while I was writing it, I lost interest in P/K for quite some time. As a consequence this story turned out much shorter than anticipated. It might be obvious when you read it, but I hope you still enjoy it. I think this is all this story is ever going to be.


Tom's hands ran over the strong back, clasping the broad shoulders as their lips met. Feeling the warmth of the muscular body beneath the t-shirt was driving him insane. He'd longed for this. And finally he was allowed to touch Harry. They were exchanging hungry, open-mouthed kisses in a secluded corner of Sandrine's. Oblivious to the other people in the bar, which were mostly holo-characters anyway, Tom was lost in Harry's touch. Harry was caressing him with abandon, his hands gripping Tom's hips almost painfully. It seemed that for once he'd forgotten to hold back, and Tom wasn't about to say anything. The heat generated between them was like plasma fire. He had never felt like this before in his life. So happy, so content and yet needing so much more than he was being given.

He ran his hands through the raven black hair desperately. It was coarser than his blond hair, and the unfamiliarity of it was arousing, intoxicating.

"Oh, Harry," he whispered as the warm, full lips met his once more in a searing kiss and the feelings it caused overwhelmed him. The taste of Harry was delicious, sweet, spicy and just... perfect. He needed so much more, he wanted so much more. He pulled Harry closer, savoring the taste of his friend's lips, inhaling deeply to feel that wonderful scent of male musk, newly washed hair and somethign that was so unique to Harry. He couldn't get enough of that smell.

"Tom," Harry said, but the word didn't quite reach him through that haze of need and desire.

"Tom," Harry repeated. Louder and firmer this time, and Tom felt those strong hands push him away. Finally his brain registered what it meant, and he pulled away, and leaned back against the wall. He threw an arm over his eyes, willing his breath to calm and his pulse to slow down. He was hard and aching for Harry's touch, but he knew it wouldn't happen. Not yet. Not this time. Who knew when?

"Oh, Harry, " he groaned disappointedly, but not really meaning to make him feel guilty. He'd just let himself get carried away, even though he knew perfectly well what their agreement was.

"Tom, you know I don't want to be a tease," Harry said softly and Tom finally opened his eyes and looked into his friend's warm, guilt-stricken eyes.

"I know, Harry. I know," Tom said and was surprised to hear the softness in his own voice. He reached out and took Harry's hand. It was slender with almost delicate fingers that harbored so much unexpected strength. He laced his own thicker and longer fingers with Harry's and was surprised they fit together so well.

"I just want to take it one step at a time, Tom," Harry said cautiously. "It's not like we have to rush into anything, is it?" Harry's eyes were locked onto his. His lips were swollen and Tom closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't want to scare Harry with his need.

Tom nodded. They'd finally come so far as to admit to each other there was more than friendship between them. A whole lot more. Tom wanted to rush into it head first, but he also knew he couldn't. He wouldn't force Harry into anything that he wasn't absolutely ready for. It would just ruin everything they had together.

Tom was ready - ripe as an orange about to fall off the tree, but Harry wasn't. Harry hadn't been in a relationship with a man before. He just had to remember that, remember it and take it into consideration. He should be happy they had gotten this far. And he was. He really was. He still couldn't believe it sometimes. He thought back to the last few weeks and remembered the fear and hope battling inside him as he saw the looks Harry sent him. Finally he had started wondering if those glances could possibly mean what he was hoping.

"No," he admitted. "We don't have to rush into anything. But I don't really understand what you are so afraid of. This is me - Tom Paris - your friend. We've known each other for almost five years now. I would never do anything to hurt you."

"I know, Tom. It isn't you that I'm afraid of. It's this," Harry made a sweeping gesture with his hand as he kept looking into Tom's eyes. "This whole situation is frightening me. I've never felt... this way... about one of my best friends before, and especially not a man."

That was the problem, right there, Tom realized. Harry wasn't even comfortable enough to say it aloud. He couldn't use the 'L' word. And by God, Tom recognized that reluctance so well that it hurt to think about. How many times had he said these exact words to someone he'd been with? All he could do was wait, wait yet another day, week or month until Harry felt that he was ready to let him in. Or decided to let him go.

Tom winced at that. He really hoped that Harry wouldn't decide it wasn't worth the risk of losing their friendship. He knew it was too late for that, but he couldn't tell Harry, because he really didn't want to influence him either way. But he had to ask. He scooted closer to Harry and once more he pressed his lips to that sensual mouth. Harry kissed him back, and he felt a little relieved. But a kiss wasn't a commitment. Not by any means... He, of all people, knew that very well.

"Harry," he said and his arms around the younger man's waist tightened as Harry pulled away slightly. Tom wanted to pull him back into his embrace. Instead, he put a finger under Harry's chin and forced him to meet his gaze. Those dark eyes were shining brightly, full of fear, but Tom was relieved to also see passion fighting to surface. "Harry," he repeated and then he swallowed. He couldn't get the words out.

He turned his head away, knowing full well how vulnerable his, very expressive, blue eyes would be right now. At his withdrawal, he could feel strong hands move over his shoulders, gripping tightly and he swallowed once more and forced himself to look at Harry again.

"Tom, what did you want to know?"

The silence was almost overwhelming. Tom could hear his own heartbeat thudding violently in his ears. He had to ask. Not knowing was killing him. It might kill him to know.

"Do you love me?" he finally ground out.

It was the most difficult question he had ever asked, but he had to be sure. He'd rather ask now and stop this before his feelings for Harry got completely out of hand. Knowing and withdrawing would be a whole lot better than to let himself be swept away by Harry and the feelings he had for him only to find out that he - they - had made a terrible mistake.

As the minutes passed by, Harry didn't answer and Tom closed his eyes. He began to shut down. The barriers were rising again. How stupid of him to think this would lead to something lasting. How stupid of him to believe that Harry could love him enough to stay with him. How stupid of him to let go for the first time ever in....

"Yes, Tom, I do, and I want this... I want you," Harry replied and the grip around Tom's shoulders tightened to the point that it hurt. "Just give me some more time. Time to get used to the idea, okay? We're going down to the planet surface tomorrow. We're going to be down there for a couple of days, and when we get back, we can talk. Really talk, okay?"

Tom nodded and swallowed hard. He knew he couldn't say a word right now. If he did Harry would know how close to tears he was. And Tom didn't want him to know. He didn't want Harry to know how easily he could break him. Harry had all the power in this relationship. He had the power to crush him and the power to make him happy. Harry would never abuse that knowledge, but the fact that he himself knew, was making him feel vulnerable enough. Instead of saying anything he leaned forward and kissed Harry again and sent him what he hoped was one of his normal cocky smiles. Those warm lips responded to the kiss and he sighed.

Oh damn, you're driving me insane with your fears, and yet I could never, ever hurt you.... You mean the world to me.

"I love you too, Harry," he finally managed to say.

"I know, Tom," Harry said softly. "I know. I just need you to help me out on this. Give me a couple of days while you back off a little. Treat me like the friend you've always been. No more intimacy between us until we get back. Let me get a grip, okay?"

"I will," Tom said. "I will."

He would. Even if it killed him.


The transporter technician assured them that the weather conditions on the planet would be acceptable as they prepared to beam down to the surface. It was ungodly early in the morning, and Tom was trying to stifle a yawn. Beside him Harry was awfully perky.

"Ah, I can't wait to get some fresh air," Harry said and chuckled. "I haven't been out of this scruffy old tin can in months!"  As always, Tom couldn't resist smiling back at Harry when he looked so delicious. The grouchy thoughts about his friend being too cheerful this early were completely gone.

Harry looked gorgeous, his hair still damp from the morning's shower. Because of the high temperatures on the planet they had been allowed to forego the uniform code and were all wearing white shirts and pants designed to protect them. White set off the golden tone of Harry's skin in a way that made Tom's mouth water. Once again he mentally cursed the drab uniforms Star Fleet usually forced them to wear.

"What are you saying, Harry, my friend? Don't let B'Elanna hear you talk about her gem like that," Tom teased, trying not to show the affection that overwhelmed him every time Harry smiled. He couldn't stop himself from putting an arm around the broad shoulders in an apparently friendly gesture, but he saw the heated look Harry sent him and he pulled away a little guiltily. They were on duty after all.

"You all know what to do," the captain said "The four of us are beaming down to the surface to get the dilithium. The Merkelians have requested that I be there as I am considered the counterpart to their ruling council. It is a matter of showing respect. The Merkelians have told us that we can beam down to the city square, and from there we will travel on the backs of the Befriended Ones."

"Isn't that considered a great honor?" Tom asked.

"Is there no other way to get to that cave?" Harry interrupted before the captain had the chance to respond.

"The Befriended Ones may look a little bit like horses, but they are not riding animals in the true sense of the word," Janeway explained. "They co-exist on this planet, and are as much members of the Council as the Merkelians. I repeat this, so that it is perfectly clear. You will treat them with the same respect as you would any other sentient race."

Harry sighed, it was clear to him that Harry did not look forward to this ride.

"Are you ready, Mr. Tuvok?"

Tuvok nodded curtly. As always, the Vulcan had insisted on going down to the surface. He was always very protective of their captain. Tom wondered if there was more to it than the Vulcan's sense of duty. Ever since he'd been sucked into that gravitational hole in space, he'd wondered about Tuvok and what really lay under that impassive Vulcan face.

"Ensigns?" Captain Janeway asked as she looked at them sternly. Tom briskly nodded towards her.

"Yes Ma'am!"

"Energize," she said and Tom closed his eyes for a brief moment as the tingling sensation of the transporter took hold of him. Moments later they materialized in the square of the town, where the Council of the Merkelians and the Befriended Ones were waiting for them.

"I wish to introduce to you the Council," Marketh said. Tom recognized him as the man from the initial talks.

"My Befriended One here is the leader of her people. Her name is Katitch." The female One bowed her head in greeting. "Then there is Mah'tovar, he is her aide." The second One greeted them much the same way. As Marketh moved through the line, introducing both Merkelians and Befriended Ones in turn, Tom tried to remember the names of them all but soon mixed them up. They were so many.

A few of the other Ones had consented to carry the away team to the cave system where they had found the dilithium.

The people of this planet were technologically advanced, but the section of the surface where they were going was uncharted and the Merkelians had not bothered to map it out or make it more suitable for vehicles. It was a remote area, with too much vegetation for a shuttle to land. A request had been issued that the Voyager crew not beam to the location. Janeway had agreed to it as a sign of courtesy and now they were going to ride to the area instead.

The gathering at the city's square was an impressive group. Council leader Marketh was a tall man, slender to the point of being thin, and old by human standards. Tom had found out that the Merkelians lived much longer than humans. Marketh's long hair reached far down on his back and it was a light shade of gray, almost white. His features were remarkably human-like, apart from the v-shaped boneridge on his forehead and the dark eyes that had no white. On Katitch's back he looked truly regal.

Tom took in the sight of the Merkelians waiting for them. They were a group of five people and neither one of them were young, but they were all in good shape and seemed remarkably agile as they got on the backs of their Ones. Marketh was speaking to the captain and Chakotay, no doubt welcoming them to the planet surface. Tom wasn't paying attention to what was being said though. He knew what his place on this mission was and he was more interested in the people and....

To the side, in a group of their own, stood the rest of the Befriended Ones. Harry was beside him, waiting to see what would happen.

"Don't worry, Har," Tom whispered in his friend's ear leaning just a little closer than necessary. "They have agreed to help us out."

It didn't seem to make Harry feel any better. Tom watched the large, horse-like beings and he couldn't take his eyes off them. He had seen them before, but only from the view screen on Voyager. Close up, they were more impressive than any other animal Tom had ever seen. His eyes fell upon the closest one. He looked like a cross between a very large cat and a horse.

Tom felt awkward staring, but he couldn't help it. The Befriended Ones were beautiful.

<My name is Chetach> The One told him.

Tom nodded but couldn't say a word as he kept taking in the sight of Chetach. As Tom watched Chetach flexed his paws and the sharp claws showed for an instant. The movement sent a shiver through him. He raised his head and met the dark eyes. They regarded him calmly and the Befriended One seemed to wait for something. For what though, Tom could not tell, but kept looking. With the muscular body of a horse and the head of a panther, Chetach was truly exotic. He had a tail like a horse but, unlike the Earth creatures, Tom knew, the Befriended Ones were omnivorous predators. Much like canines or bears on Earth. Chetach's hide shimmered enticingly in the sun, in an almost blue black shade.

"I am Ensign Tom Paris."

As if he had passed some kind of test, Chetach stepped forward and tilted his head toward him. As Tom met the intelligent eyes he remembered the captain's voice as she told them of how proud The Befriended Ones were and that they were as much a part of the Council as the Merkelians.

"I think Chetatch has approved of you, Ensign Paris," said the Council leader. "This is a great honor."

Tom simply nodded and prepared to speak to Chetach as he had been instructed previously.

Be polite, do not show fear and most of all, do not be submissive The Befriended Ones consider it a weakness if you do not meet their eyes.

So, Tom met his One's gaze proudly, and saw the power and the wisdom there. Then he spoke.

"Will you allow me to ride your back to the Senseth Mountains?"

Chetach uttered a sound that resembled a mixture between a purr and growl, but it was encouraging and Tom stepped closer. The sharp scent stung Tom's nostrils but he showed nothing on the outside. Chetach was telepathic, but Marketh had assured them all that The Befriended Ones shielded themselves from reading anything but surface thoughts. Chetach stood perfectly still as Tom climbed into the saddle.

As he made himself comfortable, he realized that there was nothing to steer the Ones with. There was only a handle that allowed Tom to sit securely and if need be, he could grab that to stay on Chetach's back. Tom swallowed nervously.

Don't let me fall off!

There is nothing to be afraid of. I will take care of you.

"Thank you," Tom managed to say as he tried to relax. He watched as one of the other Ones chose Harry.

Harry had confessed to him moments earlier that he had never ridden a horse in his life, and that he was anxious about it. Tom wanted to ask Chetach if Harry's One was trustworthy, but feared that this might be misinterpreted, so he kept his mouth shut. Perhaps Chetach knew anyway? PHe sent another questioning look at his friend and tried to give him one of his best smiles, hoping it would be encouraging. Harry's terse nod told him he didn't quite succeeded.

Captain Janeway and Chakotay were chosen and then it was time to go. Chetach turned and followed the Council leader. As he fell in line behind the others, Tom relaxed. The movements were smooth and elegant and he had no trouble keeping his balance.


Hours later, they were closing in on the area where B'Elanna and the engineering team had scanned the dilithium. It was deep into the forest and Tom was enjoying the ride. He wiggled a bit in the saddle. It was comfortable, but after so many hours, he was feeling a little sore. Chetach didn't 'speak' to him more than necessary.

Is Harry going to be okay?

R'im is young and inexperienced, but he is loyal and I do not anticipate trouble Che'tach assured him. Then he continued with a small amount of pride in his mind-voice. R'im is my son

This made Tom feel better and he sent Harry another smile. He didn't know why he felt so protective of his friend all of the sudden. Maybe it was the tension on Harry's face as he held onto the handle for dear life? Maybe it was the declaration of love last night? No, Tom thought, he had promised himself not to think about what happened the day before. He had promised Harry  time to think and he wouldn't go back on his promise. Harry hadn't uttered two words. It wasn't like him to be so quiet, and Tom felt a cold chill run down his spine. Would Harry have negative news for him when they got back on Voyager?  


They were deep into the forest, shielded from the sun by the large trees around them. The branches and the leaves created a green roof overhead, and it smelled good. If it weren't for his troubled thoughts, Tom would have really enjoyed this mission. Chakotay and the captain were speaking softly to the Council leader, but Tom was so preoccupied that he wasn't really paying attention.

A sudden, loud bang, almost like an old-fashioned gunshot, went through the forest. It woke Tom abruptly out of his reverie. Che'tach tensed underneath him. The entire group was suddenly moving restlessly on their path, several of the Befriended Ones agitated by the sharp noise.

"What was that?" The words were out of his mouth before anyone had time to react. That's when he saw Harry and R'im disappear into the thicket.

Hold on!

Chetach reacted quickly. He was obviously concerned about R'im, and suddenly they were rushing through the forest. Tom instinctively crouched down in the saddle. Branches and leaves brushed against his back and his legs, but he eld on. He couldn't even see the back of R'im as they rushed forward between the trees.

Worry transformed into anxiety. Why hadn't he said anything? Why hadn't he insisted that Chetach take care of Harry instead? It was clear that R'im's youth made him the less trustworthy of the two. Tom told himself that the Council leader had explained that the Befriended Ones chose their rider, not the other way around, and he had accepted it. But what if Harry was hurt? It would be his fault and no one else's. He realized that this thought was irrational, but he couldn't help it.

Do not worry. Your friend will be fine.

Tom heard the uncertainty in Chetach's thoughts and didn't feel reassured at all. It was as if  he was sending thoughts to Tom to reassure himself. Rushing through the forest all kinds of frightening images played through Tom's mind. Harry bleeding. Harry with a broken neck.... He shook his head trying to force the unsettling images out of his head. Harry could take care of himself! But that didn't make him feel better.

Abruptly, they reached a small clearing, and Tom's heart nearly stopped as he saw Harry's still form lying on the ground. It was as if the images came true before his eyes. Chetach halted beside Harry, and Tom slid from his back in a quick movement. He could sense the anxiety growing inside Chetach as well.

"Harry? You okay?" Tom asked and squatted beside him. He leaned forward and pressed his hand to a broad shoulder to reassure himself that Harry was really there, and praying to God that he was unharmed. Harry looked up at him with a rueful twinkle in his eyes.

"Yeah, Tom. I'm fine. I think I got a little bruised, but that's it," he said reluctantly, as if he was mostly embarrassed by what happened. "You, on the other hand, look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah, well, I thought you were hurt."

"I'm fine."

Tom wanted to pull Harry into his arms but something in those eyes prevented him from doing what he longed for.

Get on my back, both of you, and I will take you to the others.

Tom looked at Chetach questioningly.

"Are you sure? Won't the two of us be too heavy for you?"

Chetach looked at Tom with patience in his brown eyes, and Tom wondered how he could ever have thought that he looked vicious.

"But what about your son?"

He will return to the city when he has regained his calm, Che'tach replied curtly. It was quite obvious to Tom that he was displeased with his son. Now that Tom knew Harry was in no danger, he almost felt sorry for the youngster. We should leave immediately.

Chetach waited and Tom simply nodded in acquiescence. He then helped Harry get up. He hated himself for it, but his eyes were riveted at Harry's behind as the younger man swung his leg over Chetach's back. Then he stood there, for a moment, hesitating. He knew he wouldn't be able to control himself if he ended up so close to Harry. He had promised. But dammit, he was only human, and hormones weren't really cooperative. At least not his.

"Are you sure the two of us won't be too heavy for you?" he repeated once more, sending Chetach a clear image of what he wanted the One to say, but Chetach showed no mercy. Tom could have sworn there was a teasing twinkle in his eyes as he responded.

Absolutely. We will reach the others much faster this way. Now get up.

Tom had no choice, and as Harry looked at him questioningly, he simply sighed and got up behind his friend.

Damn, this would be difficult. He couldn't remember a time when he had been this close to Harry. Not even last night, and look how he'd reacted to a few kisses. Feeling Harry's body pressed against him full length would certainly do the trick. Tom bit his lip. He tried to prepare himself for the onslaught of emotions that washed over him as he sat behind Harry on Chetach's back. Even prepared, he inhaled sharply as he could feel Harry's bodywarmth against him. Uh-oh, Tom thought. This was not the best thing that ever happened to him. Or maybe it was? He couldn't quite make up his mind.

"Relax, Tom. I'm not going to bite you," Harry said and turned around to leer at him.

But I might bite you...

"I don't know what to do with my hands," Tom confessed.

"Put them around my waist and hold onto the handle," Harry said patiently. "Now, let's get back to the others. They are probably worried sick by now."

Tom nodded and willed the tension out of his body as he put his arms around his friend. It felt so good.

Get your mind away from there, flyboy. Remember, you promised.

Despite his internal reprimand, he tightened his grip around Harry as Chetach began walking back through the thicket. Only because he didn't want to fall off, he told himself. As Harry put his hands around the handle as well, Tom stifled another gasp. Harry's fingers covering his felt like pure electricity.

Harry, Harry... he groaned inwardly. Don't do this to me.

The slow pace caused them both to rock back and forth with Chetach's movements and Tom bit his lip again. He was pressing against Harry's back and buttocks - Oh, that beautiful ass - in a way that could only be described as powerfully erotic.

You promised, Tom, he told himself. You shouldn't be thinking this right now!

But he was. Images of the two of them together flashed through his mind and he could feel the arousal take hold of him. It was spreading through his body like wildfire.

Tom tried forcing himself to think about something else, but the movements pushed Harry's body close to his with each slow step that Chetatch took, and he was getting painfully hard. There was nothing at all he could do about it. He tried to scoot backwards to avoid pressing into Harry, but he was soon pushed back again. The gliding movement against the saddle caused a friction that made his groin ache, and the insides of his thighs were tingling. Finding himself intimately pressed against his friend literally from tip to toe was driving him mad. If only Harry had been willing, this could have been the sexiest thing he'd ever experienced....

"Tom," Harry turned to him, but he never knew what was in Harry's eyes, because he closed his own immediately. He had promised and he knew that all the lust he'd bottled up for so long would be glaring Harry in the face if he didn't try to hide it. Even so, it was quite obvious to him that Harry had noticed his predicament.

"Harry, I'm sorry. Don't pay any attention to me. Riding always had this particular effect on various parts of my anatomy," He was trying to joke, but his voice was strained.

He wondered how long he would be able to keep his promise to Harry. He was growing harder by the second and the exquisite pressure of Harry's ass against his crotch was making him dizzy. This was pure torture. He wanted to press closer. He wanted to wrap his arms around his friend and pull the strong body to him. He wanted to bury his face into that delicious neck and find out if the skin was as soft as he imagined. He wanted to feel Harry press back against him. He wanted to feel those hands caress his thighs...

Would the taste of Harry be as sweet as the scent of him?

Tom was getting lightheaded and he couldn't stifle a groan as a particularly sudden shift in Chetach's movements made him slide forward so his entire body again pressed into Harry's. Suddenly he couldn't take it anymore. He stopped fighting, relaxed and moved his hands from the handle to his friend's waist, pulling him closer in a tight embrace.

"Tom," Harry gasped and pulled away. There was a slight tinge of panic in Harry's voice, and Tom let him go immediately. He met the brown eyes as he ruefully apologized.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just... I want you, Harry. I want you so much it hurts."

There, he'd said it. He had broken his promise. Just like that. Trust Tom Paris not being able to control his raging hormones, he thought dryly to himself. Trust Tom Paris to break every rule and every boundary ever set. Trust Tom Paris to cross the line of friendship where it wasn't wanted. But the delicious friction of that beautiful body against him had rendered him totally defenseless. He was close to throwing away the best friendship he'd ever had for a moment's pure bliss. If Harry decided he didn't want him, he would have to accept it and not force himself on him in a situation like this, where Harry had no way of escaping.

They hadn't been this close to each other ever. They had kissed a couple of times, but Harry had never allowed Tom to touch him intimately. Not yet. And Harry had never touched him either. Feeling Tom's raging hard-on pressed to his back was probably scaring Harry out of his damn wits.

Tom watched as Harry turned his head towards him as far as he could. That beautiful profile made Tom's heart skip a beat. The cheeks were flushed as if he was embarrassed. But then Harry met his eyes and all Tom could see was hesitancy and desire.

Defenseless against the emotions playing in Harry's eyes and the turmoil inside him, Tom buried his head in the crook of Harry's neck and inhaled deeply. He smelled so good. There was a faint scent of some spicy shaving gel and underneath it, the smell of Harry. It was the most delicious fragrance Tom knew, he was already addicted to it. 

He groaned and opened his mouth, unable to stop himself from tasting that golden skin. His tongue flicked out and lapped at Harry's neck. Salty and sweet at the same time. He saw Harry's hands let go of the handle from the corner of his eye and felt them clasp around his wrists as if Harry suddenly felt they couldn't get close enough. Tom's mind was reeling. Was Harry really responding this way? Hesitantly he withdrew again, and the protesting sound that escaped Harry's throat told him everything he needed to know.

His grasp tightened further, and he moved urgently against the body in his arms. An answering gasp from Harry made him lean his head on a strong shoulder, inhaling deeply, trying to calm himself.

"Harry. Oh fuck, Harry," he whispered, and his entire world came to a halt when Harry turned. It took a few seconds for him to realize what he intended to do. It was an awkward position, but it was obvious that he wanted a kiss. Tom groaned into Harry's mouth and he thought he was going to shatter.Those full, kissable lips moved against his so sensuously. Almost unconsciously his hands caressed its way over Harry's chest downward...

We are nearing the others.

It was like being pulled out from a dream. Tom was disoriented, aroused and dizzy. And the look in Harry's eyes as they broke apart didn't help. Those incredible brown eyes were filled with a soul-shattering need that matched his own.


"Harry, Tom - are you both all right?" Kathryn Janeway's voice reached them and tore them even further away from the strong feelings that they had allowed to surface. Tom wished they'd been anywhere but here, as they ended up in the midst of a group of people, all staring at them, trying to assess if they were hurt or not.

Still, he could hear the concern in Janeway's voice and he met her gaze as he responded.

"Yes, Captain. We're both fine. Harry fell off, and R'im is gone, but we are both unharmed."

She looked at him for a few seconds and then she nodded in that curt way that told him that she was in full captain mode. Still, the warmth and relief in her eyes was evident. It was the first time since the waterworld incident he felt that she actually still cared about him.

I apologize for causing you harm, a softer voice than Che'ach's reached Tom, and he realized that R'im was standing beside Captain Janeway.

"It's okay. I wasn't hurt," Harry said, and started getting off Chetach's back.

I am afraid you will both have to stay on Chetach's back for this mission, Ri'm said with a rueful expression in his clear eyes. I have been damaged and can not proceed to the cave with anyone on my back.

The expression on his face was a little bit difficult to read, since the Befriended Ones' features were so unfamiliar to them, but the embarrassment in the voice told him all he needed to know about how ashamed R'im was at his behavior.

"Captain," Tom said. "What happened back here? What was that noise?"

She looked at him warily.

"We do not know," she admitted.

"It sounded to me like a gunshot," Tom said. He didn't like this. Harry could have been killed. He tried to keep the thoughts of the younger man's body pressed to his out of his mind for now. This was no time to be thinking such thoughts. But, by God, it was difficult.

"I agree with you, Ensign Paris," Tuvok said, his impassive features showing no emotion at all, except for a small wrinkle on his brow.

"Sometimes we do have poachers in these woods. It was probably one of them," Marketh said dismissively. "We should be on our way if we wish to reach the caves before it gets dark."

"Captain?" Tuvok asked.

It was quiet for a moment before she responded.

"Let's move on," she nodded, obviously deciding to listen to Marketh. "Are you sure you are okay, Ensigns?" she asked once more before she got back on her One.

"Yes, Captain," Harry said.

Chetach didn't take his place behind Janeway this time. Instead he waited until the others had fallen in line and didn't start walking until he was last.

I believe the two of you will be most comfortable here..

Tom felt the blush creep up on his cheeks as he heard the teasing tone in Chetach's thoughts. It was quite obvious to both him and Harry that Chetach was fully aware of how they felt about each other and what had been transpiring between them on the way back from the clearing.

After a while Tom was quite grateful to Chetach for being so considerate though. The pace was still slow and he and Harry were still grinding together at each step and soon Tom's arousal was awakened again. The rocking motion was just too enticing: Harry's muscular legs brushed against his own long ones at each move. The powerful back and ass pressed against his crotch and stomach for each step and it was quickly driving him to distraction. Keeping his arms around the slender but muscular waist was too tempting. He wanted to pull Harry closer and his grip around the younger man tightened involuntarily.

"Don't do that," Harry whispered to him.

"What?"

"Stop thinking about it."

"I can't help it, Harry. Your gorgeous ass is right in front of me. I've got a hard-on that's driving me nuts," he whispered. "Don't tell me you can't feel it..." He leaned forward and relaxed into the motion of Che'tach's steps. His entire torso now rested against Harry's back and it felt so damn, damn good!

Harry's voice took an almost panicked tone.

"Don't do this. Don't talk like that, Tom."

"Why not?" Tom asked, quite sure he knew why, but wanting, oh so desperately, to hear Harry say it.

The younger man was silent for just a heartbeat. To Tom it felt like forever, but then Harry responded in a husky voice.

"Because you're turning me on."

That admission sent a spike of arousal through Tom that made him harder still. His arms around Harry's waist tightened. He drew a deep breath and pulled his friend closer. Then he lowered his head and buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck, finally back where they had been interrupted.

"Tom," Harry complained breathlessly. "Don't!"

"Why not, Harry? You just told me you want it too."

"I do. Damn it Tom. I'm admitting it. I do want this, but please, not here. God, Tom!.What if Captain Janeway turns around and sees us? What if anyone turns around and looks at us? I don't think the captain would approve of the fact that two of her senior officers are making out on the back of one of their diplomatic aides..."

I don't mind, Che'tach sent to them and something suspiciously like a chuckle rumbled through Tom's head.

"Harry," Tom whispered. "I lost the captain's grace a long time ago. If she gets upset with us you can blame it all on me. I can't keep my hands off you. You're so close, and knowing that you feel it too... Harry... " With that he pressed closer to that beautiful taut ass, lifted his hands and started pulling at Harry's clothes. All he had to do was pull the shirt out of Harry's pants and then he had access to vast expanses of that smooth, golden skin.

It felt like... Tom couldn't find the word, Even velvet was too coarse to describe the sensation of that flawless skin under his palms. He moved his hands in circles over Harry's flat stomach and his heart skipped a beat when Harry leaned back. His lips were slightly parted and his eyelids half-closed.

He's beautiful and he's in my arms.

Affection hit him full force and he held his friend close for a long moment, just savoring the feeling. Tom wanted to kiss him so badly, but they were in such an awkward position that he couldn't and he ached to do it. Instead of tasting the delicious lips, Tom bent his head and kissed the beautiful neck. He bit gently and a soft whimper escaped Harry's lips.

"I want to touch you, Tom," he said. "God, I want to touch you."

"If you let go of that handle we're both going to fall off," Tom teased gently. But the words spread though his body like warmth. He'd longed to hear that forever.

"Not if you hold on to it," Harry whispered back.

Harry let go and then grabbed both of Tom's hands and put them on the handle.

"Hold on," he said. "I just want to touch you."

Tom was mesmerized, Harry Kim was looking at him with desire in the almost-black eyes. Nothing was more beautiful than that face, those parted lips, just begging to be kissed... Then he felt  strong, deceptively delicate-looking hands move over his knees, slowly sliding upwards on the insides of his thighs. He tensed immediately.

"Fuck, Harry," His grip around the handle tightened as he pressed himself closer to Harry and rocked against that luscious ass.

"I wish you could," Harry whispered and the caresses on his thighs grew firmer. The images that the words provoked in Tom's mind almost undid him.

Damn, I'm going to come in my pants and he has barely touched me.

Images of Harry, naked, sprawled on creamy white satin sheets, looking up at him with a lustful expression on his face, wanting him, needing him. It was almost too much...

Almost.


The feelings were frightening and overpowering. Being forced into Tom's arms like this wasn't what Harry had in mind when beaming down to the surface. It had all happened so quickly. He had barely had time to realize that the feelings he had for Tom could be more than friendship. He had barely had time to acknowledge the fact that it could actually be love before Tom had brought it all into the open, revealing his own feelings.

It was frightening. Not because he had any prejudice about same sex relationships or even because Tom felt this way about him. It was his own feelings that frightened him. He had never felt this way about another man before. Short bouts of appreciation for a beautiful face, a sudden burst of desire at a particularly attractive man. But he had never acted upon those impulses. He'd acknowledged long ago that he could find men attractive, but from that to actually do anything about it had been a very big step.

Only a few days ago Tom had kissed him for the first time and it was like his entire world had been turned up side down. Fear of the feelings, fear of what it would do to their - up until now - rather comfortable friendship.

What he felt for Tom hadn't been that sudden really. It had been building for years. Harry remembered the very first time he saw Tom Paris. He remembered the sudden dryness in his mouth as he first laid eyes on that blond soft hair, the nearly perfect features, the lithe, slim and unbearably attractive body. He hadn't been able to meet the man's eyes. He had been so ashamed. At first he had tried to deny the attraction , but the first time he met the incredible blue eyes, filled with mischief and humor, he'd known it was of no use. He'd felt the attraction and forced himself to learn to live with it. He had buried it, out of fear of what would happen if he let it loose. Tom never showed any interest in men. The only man he ever got really close to was Harry and never did he cross the line of friendship. Now he knew why.

Tom loved him.

A shiver went through Harry at the very thought. Tom, the best friend he'd ever had, Tom, the strong, and the vulnerable, Tom, the smartass... in love with him.

Love...

Tom admitted he had fallen like a ton of bricks that very first evening in Quark's bar, but of course he'd had fears of his own. And now, here they were. Forced together on one of the Befriended Ones, and he could feel the heat radiating towards him from Tom's body, pressed tightly to his. It was driving him mad. How could he ever have believed they would be able to stay friends and only friends when the merest touch of Tom's hands or body to his was enough to bring him to aching hardness?

Tom's arms snaked their way inside his clothing, and they were roaming across his chest, touching him more and more intimately. It was frightening as hell, and awkward, knowing that Janeway and Tuvok and the entire Council of Merkelians were only a bout twenty or thirty meters away. But damn, it was arousing too. He wanted it and he was not about to ask Tom to stop. Tom's movements were becoming more insistent and Harry knew that he had been pushed too far.

I've been such a tease lately

Memories flashed through his mind.

Tom leaning against the sofa in his quarters, head lolled back and a look of painful desire on his face after just having been pushed away once more.

Tom with an arm thrown over his eyes in Sandrine's, lip swollen as he bit on it to keep from moaning aloud in desire and agony.


I can't deny him now, it's gone too far.

He feltl Tom's insistent erection pressing into his back, and it was a significant one. It had to be painful. Instead of being frightened, Harry felt his arousal grow .

"Fuck, Harry," Tom breathed into his ear, a note of desperation in his voice.

"I wish you could," he found himself replying before he knew it. But he knew he meant it. It scared him to know how much he meant it. He could actually see himself lying sprawled on a bed, opening up to Tom, waiting. Anxious and ready to be taken. He moaned softly, and his head lolled back to rest against Tom's shoulder. Again their lips met in that awkward position and Harry's grip on Tom's thighs hardened. He found himself wanting to turn around, to be able to touch his lover -

Lover?

- properly. He wanted to undress Tom slowly, to see the look of rapture on his face as he kissed him and touched him everywhere.

"I'm going to come, Harry," Tom whispered. "I'm going to come if you talk like that."

Harry felt the wicked smile that crept on his lips. There was something he could do for Tom after all.

"Well it's true, Tom," he whispered. "I do want you to fuck me. I want to feel you inside me and I want you to make me come."

"Oh, damn, Harry!" He could feel Tom's body tense against him. The deft pilot's hands left the handle and held onto his waist in a viselike grip.

"You better be quiet, Tom," Harry whispered, "But I want you to come for me. Let me hear you come for me."

Tom buried his face in the crook of Harry's neck and he could feel Tom's body convulse as violent shudders ran through the other man's body. Harry could feel the jerking movements against his back and he clenched his teeth not to moan aloud.

"Harry," Tom groaned softly. "I want you so much."

"I know," Harry whispered, feeling his own arousal heighten at the words. "I know, and you've got me. You've got me."

"Have I?" Tom asked.

Harry opened his eyes and met Tom's questioning gaze.

"Yes, Tom. You've got me."

Chetach's voice rumbled through his mind, a heartfelt laughter that told Harry that this was what the One had planned all along, and he realized that he didn't mind one bit. For the first time since his and Tom's relationshiop changed, he knew that everything would be okay. Tom loved him. He loved Tom. They'd always be there for each other. That was all that really mattered.


end



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