The PKSP Archive - Second Chapter by envoy --- Disclaimer: Not mine. Okay? --- A brief smile to acknowledge the Lieutenant as she enters the lift. She enters her destination and the lift resumes its smooth journey. I nod my head for no particular reason and to no particular best- just something to fill the silence; something to relieve the tedium. A strange reflex- tedium was the one thing I would welcome more of right now. With barely a sound the lift opens its doors. Paris stands on the other side. I feel my eyes widen as panic moves like a flame through me; I feel shame spread through me at my inability to control my reaction. I see his eyes widen in shock, in hope; I see his eyes shrink in dejection by my painfully, awful uncontrollable response. He enters. "Harry," he greets lowly. "Paris," I return tightly. Feel cold and trapped and blank. I look at the Lieutenant out of the corner of my eye; she pointedly stares straight ahead, possibly whispering rigid denials in her mind, desperate to escape the hothouse atmosphere. I look at the Lieutenant out of the corner of my eye; he stares straight ahead in trembling control. The lift stops. The Lieutenant exits. Paris and I are left alone. The lift resumes. He clears his throat. I turn to look at him; he stares straight ahead in rigid authority. Then, perhaps, maybe, he senses me looking at him and he returns my gaze. Stand-off. My eyes bug out, my mouth remains stubbornly shut as I try to force words out of it. He stands gazing at me, waiting for me to speak, and a distant glimmer sparks into his eye making him more Tom like than he has appeared in some time. A smile plays at the corner of his mouth. The lift stops. "Harry," he begins "It's-" Seven enters. His mouth closes like a trap and he retrieves his previous stance. "Lieutenant Paris, Ensign Kim," she greets in crisp, enunciated tones. She stands in front- like the tip of a triangle- with her back to me, the body unconscious boldly displayed in evertight fabric. I study how it moves over her skin, covering her shameful imperfection, accentuating every smooth contour. Sinfully remote perfection going down, moving up to an exposed neck and I sense Tom's eyes on me. He snaps his gaze away as swiftly as I return it. Another point in a triangle. I stare straight ahead looking at neither Seven nor Tom, wondering what he was going to say, knowing how useless it is to wonder now. The lift stops. Tom leaves. I watch him go. Part of me is sunk in relief but the remainder? I'm not sure what that part feels. "Ensign Kim,". She looks at me with cool distance, skilfully masking whatever emotions she has. "Sorry, Seven," I shake my head "My mind was elsewhere,". "Yes. Perhaps it left with Lieutenant Paris,". "Either that or I lost it a long time ago,". Silence. "Oh. Ha ha ha,". I find myself laughing in spite of myself. "The Captain has requested that we evaluate the efficiency of the calibrations we implemented,". "Okay. Why don't you come by my quarters after shift and we can do it them,". "Very well. I'll inform Lieutenant Torres,". --- "If that's it then I'll go- I promised Paris I would meet him in Sandrine's,". "Yeah, you don't want to be late,". The words jitter from my mouth in a way they are not supposed to; sounding a way I would not have them sound. B'Elanna raises an eyebrow "No, I wouldn't. He's been in a weird mood lately and I'm hopeful of getting an explanation from him. Harry, why don't you see me to the door? Goodnight Seven,". Her request was more an order, but I was willing to go along with it- whatever she wanted to say it would not be said in front of Seven. Not that that meant anything B'Elanna's dislike for someone who matched her step for step was frequently vocalised. I follow her to the door. "Harry, about Tom..," she begins in lowered tones. "Has he said something to you?" I demand. "No, but it's obvious you've had a fight. I know you had a problem with Tom before you... did that, but I thought that was settled. So are you going to tell me what's going on?" Her eyes make demands I have no intention of giving in to- my life; my choice. I sigh. "It's a male thing. Between Paris and me,". "And that's how you want to keep it,". Is that how I want to keep it? "For the time being,". She shrugs; she smiles; she speaks; she leaves. Seven and I are left alone. She continues to study the PADDs, unaware that I am watching her. But finally she does look up, she does become aware. She looks past me. "The Lieutenant has left. Perhaps I should leave too,". She rises and stalks toward the door. "Well, you don't have to. If you don't want to,". She fixes me with her eyes and I wait. And then I lean in and kiss her. Softly. And she kisses me. Briefly. "Ensign Kim, your behaviour is very strange. This is not a good idea. For us to fraternise thus,". "Why- why not?" She freezes me with a look. "I am aware that you have had a disagreement with Lieutenant Paris and that you began paying overt attention to me at that time. I am not a replacement. I suggest you re evaluate the basis of your attentions,". The door opens and she exits. "Seven! That has nothing to do with this- I know why I am doing this,". I walk into the corridor. "Seven!" Her back is to me as she walks away. "Goodnight, Ensign,". I watch her go. I watch until she is long gone. "Harry. How are you?" I whirl to Tom's voice. "Shot down, huh?" he sympathises. "Looks like it,". We stand; awkward and distant. "We didn't finish our conversation," he reminds me and gestures to his quarters "We can finish it now if you want,". I look back down the hall, after Seven, and then return my gaze to him, to his anxious hand which still points to his quarters until he slowly lowers it to his side, waiting for me to respond. "Yeah. We should,". He keys in the code and gestures for me to go in before him. I do so blindly, hyper aware of every soundof the swish of the door, of every breath; hyper aware of each noise. "Harry. Harry!" I jump a little before turning to face him. I see the same Tom I have known these past years- nothing different save a certain sadness. "What I was going to say is that it's alright. It's alright if you don't feel the same way, Harry. It's alright,". He touches my face lightly. "Do you have something to say this time?" he teases. I force the words out. "That I'm sorry. That I reacted the way I did because I never even suspected that you-" "That I love you?" he suggests. I nod. He touches my face again and then he kisses me; sudden, unexpectedly he kisses me. And the shock of it, of a man's lips pressing gently on mine and my lips not shying away. The surprise of a friend's mouth on mine, of lips parting, of his tongue. The surprise of lips, of a mouth, kissing me. --- The End