by Cinder
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Disclaimer: The toys aren't mine, but with the atrocious way those people treat them, they should be.

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Harry punched the sensor buttons harder and harder in exasperation. Nothing made sense. Nothing. There was no way they should be back in Kazon space again. Arghhhhh! "Captain?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I think we're lost."

"Lost?" She jogged up to his consul and did that annoying thing where she looked over his shoulder and checked all his figures, like he hadn't been valedictorian of his class or something, miss took-three-times-to-pass-Calculus-Janeway.

"That," he pointed at the view screen, "is a Kazon ship."

"So, we're not lost. We know where we are," she burbled.

"We've been going in one big circle." He turned on his slightly over-weight, but cute in that lovable teddy bear sort of way best friend, and growled, "You've been going in a circle."

"Perhaps it is not our destiny to leave the Delta quadrant, Ensign," Tuvok suggested.

"We don't get out of here soon and I'm going to commit hara-kiri," Chakotay moaned.

"Tom! Those directions you got from the Baneans, seven years ago, maybe they lied to us." Harry turned the biggest, most expressive eyes in his repertoire back on his Captain. "We should go and do, you know, mean things to them, Captain. Things I don't even know about because I'm still young and naïve. . . after seven years. . . And a frickin' ensign!"

"Oh, Harry," Tom started wringing his hands, just knowing how his wife was going to snipe at him and refuse to get him his beer when he got home, "I didn't get those directions. Because it wasn't, you know, the manly thing to do. You'll understand when you're older."

"Tom!"

"Harry?"

"That's enough!" Janeway stepped up to her command chair, drew herself up to full height and pulled her shirt down because she'd seen that on a TV show once and it had looked like a Captainly thing to do. "What we must do now is tighten our belts. An adventure we thought might actually come to an end some day is now only just beginning. Think of all the new things out there to do and explore, the new people to meet, the old enemies to kick the asses of. Who's with me?"

You could hear a pin drop.

"Fine then! See if I care!" She stormed off to her ready room.

"Tuvok, is there anyway to lock her in there?" Chakotay asked.

"Already working on it, Commander."

"Good. Now, Ensign... No, Lieutenant Kim, I want you to find the nearest M-class planet with nice vegetation and not so much life."

"We're right in front of it, Commander. Ocampa. The Ocampa only take up .01% of the surface. Plenty of room for us. And I've got lots of ideas about how to bring the water back and make the planet green again."

"Good good. Now, give Tom directions and Tom if you don't follow the directions, I'll spank you."

"Promise?"

"You insatiable little slut. Just do it." Chakotay grinned and rubbed his hands together. "Are all of the secondary characters ready, Neelix?"

"Oh, yes," the Talaxian piped up. "We've got storylines all written out for them. And we're going to fix all of the stupid things that have gone wrong, like Tom and B'Elanna's marriage for example. Henley has expressed great interest in marrying B'Elanna and all we have to do is find someone for Tom. And an exercise program."

"Not a problem, Neelix. I've got someone in mind." The blonde pilot turned around and leered at his best friend.

Harry blushed. He was just a new lieutenant after all. "Drive Tom. Just drive." They all laughed and Tom turned back to his consol.

A pounding started on the inside of the ready room doors. "Get me out of here, Chakotay! This isn't funny! So help me, if I get my hands on you, you'll be in another boxing episode!" The doors suddenly electrified and Janeway broke off with a yelp. Tuvok actually smiled.

"We're being hailed by the planet," Harry announced.

"Put it on," Chakotay ordered.

Kes appeared on the screen. "Neelix, my love, you've returned to me just as I foresaw."

"Yes, my darling, I'm coming back to you. We'll be there soon."

"Not soon enough."

"Get everything ready for me."

"I'll be waiting." Then she clicked out. Everyone laughed and slapped Neelix on the back. 

"Now, Mr. Kim, one more thing. Please beam Captain Janeway, Seven and the Doctor out into space."

"Aye, aye, Captain."

And they lived happily ever after.

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End