by Cinder
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Something that came to me in the night. . .

I was rewatching "The Ring" last night and the scene where Tom talks to Seven about B'Elanna jumped out at me. I thought, if B'Elanna has Toby the Targ, what might Harry have. More specifically, I thought, what if Harry had one of my stuffed animals. I have several, some of which I still sleep with when I have migraines, but I am picturing Fu. Fu Manchu, the Turtle of Death is a green sea turtle from SeaWorld that I got at a Flea Market for .50. He has beady little eyes and I'm currently working on a screenplay where his alter ego, Big Jake eats Tokyo and fights Jackie Chan. But what if Harry had Fu?

Disclaimer: yeah, they belong to somebody else, but if they were treated better I wouldn't have found them scared and shivering in my closet, now would I?

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"I'm telling you, Tuvok, it's evil."

"I do not understand how an inanimate stuffed turtle could be any danger to this crew." The Vulcan lifted the standard eyebrow in askance, to the standard StarFleet level for Vulcan raised eyebrows. The human, however, was beginning to vex him. Most curious. He hadn't quashed that emotion in years.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I think it's trying to kill me," Tom protested. The other eyebrow raised in response. "Really, last night I went in Harry's quarters and the thing was waiting for me over the doorway. As soon as I walked in it leaped on me."

"A stuffed animal has no animation on it's own. It is a thing, nothing more."

"That's what I used to think." Tom leaned in close, whispering conspiratorially. "Harry thinks I'm crazy, but last night I watched him put it on the shelf before we went to bed. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and I found it on the table with a big carving knife."

"Indeed. And where was Mr. Kim during all this?"

"In bed with me," Tom protested.

"And it is not conceivable to you that Mr. Kim rose from bed, put the turtle on the table with the knife as an amusement and then returned to your arms while you were asleep?"

"Look, Tuvok, I'm not what I would call a sound sleeper. At some points in my life I'd rather not discuss it has been very important to sleep with one eye open as they say. If Harry got out of bed, he'd wake me up."

"Indeed."

"I have to get to the bridge. Trust me on this, Tuvok. That turtle is evil. Eeee-vil." So saying, the blonde pilot raced off. Luckily, Mr. Kim was just entering the Mess Hall. Tuvok gestured him over. After grabbing his full lunch tray from Neelix, Harry complied cheerfully.

"Yes, sir?"

"This is informal, Harry."

The young ensign smiled. "What is it, Tuvok? You don't have to call off our game tonight, do you?"

"On the contrary, I am looking forward to it. No, this is about your. . . turtle."

"Turtle?"

"A stuffed turtle, Mr. Paris said."

"Fu?" Harry laughed. "He's still going on about Fu? What did he say?"

"What he said is neither here nor there. I have only one question for you, and you are not obligated to answer if you find it too personal," Tuvok told him. Harry smiled encouragingly. "Is Mr. Paris a light sleeper?"

Harry choked on his lunch. In between guffaws he managed to gasp out, "He'd like to think so."

"Am I to assume this means he is not?"

"Tom always tells me he sleeps with, get this old earth saying, one eye open, but the truth is he's like a brick." Harry's eyes fairly sparkled with amusement. "I could jump up and down on the bed and he wouldn't even twitch. That answer your turtle question?"

"Indeed."

---

After that Tuvok kept an eye out for Fu. Indeed, the turtle did turn up in the oddest places, always when Mr. Paris would be near. One morning he was waiting in Mr. Paris' conn chair in possession of a miniature Klingon battle-axe. Tuvok was not concerned. Having also worked the shift before he had seen a giggling Ensign Batehart and Lt. Torres replicate the mini battle axe and set the turtle up under the conn for Tom to find.

"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Mr. Paris screamed, much to the amusement of the crew. "You see this, Tuvok?" he yelled. "You see this? This turtle is a menace! And it's trying to kill me!"

Harry investigated, trying not to laugh too hard. "Hey, you! What are you doing up here, Fu? And with your new battle axe too." He tsked paternally. "Sorry, Tom. I have no idea how he gets out." Harry patted the creature's head and tried to offer him to his friend for a pet too, but Mr. Paris recoiled from the plush touch.

"Did you see that? He came out of nowhere."

"I saw. But he doesn't mean any harm. He's probably just enthusiastic to see what you do. He likes you, Tom."

"Yeah, with mashed potatoes and gravy."

"Gentlemen," the Captain called, "if you could both take your stations please?"

In what looked like a prearranged movement, Harry approached Kathryn. "If it's all right, Captain, Fu was wondering if he could sit with you today. Someday he wants to pilot a ship of his own."

"Bought with our skins," Tom muttered.

Trying not to laugh, Kathryn accepted the fierce, fibre creature. "I'd be honored to show him the ropes, Harry."

"Here that Fu? You're gonna ride with the captain today."

"Gods help us all," Tom muttered.

Throughout the shift, as Mr. Paris amused the bridge crew by looking back fearfully at the turtle in the Captain's lap and making snide comments about it, Tuvok's suspicions grew. After shift he made it a point to ride in the same lift with Mr. Paris. Serendipitously, they were alone.

"You do not fear the turtle, Mr. Paris."

"Is that some of Chakotay's mumbo jumbo?"

Tuvok stared straight ahead, as was his manner. "On the contrary, it is an observation of fact. I suggest that in the future you and Mr. Kim do not play your games on the bridge, even if he does not know we are all playing a game."

"I think Harry knows. It just tickles him to get me, so I let him." Tom smiled fondly. "It's a human thing. But, I understand the security issues and we won't play on the bridge anymore."

Tuvok nodded and exited the lift as it came to a complete, regulation stop. Smiling, Tom headed off in the other direction, idly wondering where the little, green monstrosity would turn up next.


Meanwhile, in the Mess Hall, Harry and B'Elanna were setting Fu up on the rafter above Tom's usual seat. They planned to pull him down with a cord at just the right moment for a dive bomb assault.

"And Tom has no idea?" B'Elanna protested with a very un-Klingonlike giggle.

"He thinks the thing wakes up or something and is out to get him," Harry chortled with glee, arranging the throwing star just so between Fu's paws. "C'mon, let's go hide around the corner so we can see his face when we pull him down!"

Fu sat and smiled. So they thought he was just a toy, did they? He would show them. Soon enough he would reveal himself. He would have his revenge. Heh, heh, heh.

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End