by Christine
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Archive: Sure, what the hell. Anywhere is fine, just let me know first so I will know where to look for them.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything Trek. I own everything and everyone I made up. <g> Am I making money from this? What the hell are you smoking?!

Feedback: Yes! Oh God Yes!!

Author's Note: This came to me one day, after I had read something about one of the actors having to wear a girdle. Why? Have no idea. Is this one stupid? Why oh why must you still ask me that? Of course it is. Anyway, let me know what ya'll thought about it.

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Having finally gotten a few days off of duty, Harry Kim decided to go see B'Elanna. Having asked the computer earlier for her location, he found out she was in the messhall. He walked out of the turbolift, and proceded to head down the corridor towards the messhall.

He walked through the door and was greeted by Neelix. "Afternoon, Ensign. Anything in particular you'd like to have today?" Neelix asked Harry as he produced a plate from behind the counter.

"Nothing right now, thanks," Harry replied scanning the room for B'Elanna.

"Alright. If you need anything later just let me know," Neelix said with a smile as he began to stir whatever it was that was cooking in the pot.

Seeing B'Elanna seated in the far corner of the messhall, Harry walked his happy behind over there. B'Elanna had her head on the table, looking to Harry like she was having a seizure. Worried, Harry stepped closer to her, "B'Ela, are you ok?" At this she raised her head, looked him in the eye and burst out into another fit of giggles.

Raising an eyebrow, Harry sat down in the seat next to her, "And what the hell is so funny? I thought you were having a seizure for a minute there."

Sighing between bouts of laughter, "Har, haven't you heard what's been going around the rumor mill?" 

Harry gave her a puzzled look, "No. Why?" he asked suspiciously.

Lowering her voice so no one else could hear their conversation, "Well, from what I've heard, our friend Tom wears a girdle."

Eyebrows raising into his hairline, "Excuse me?" Harry asked stunned.

"It's true. Megan told me that she saw the aforementioned article of clothing in one of Tom's drawers."

Feeling a sudden pang of jealousy, "What was she doing going through his drawers?"

Raising an eyebrow, B'Elanna let loose a tidal wave of giggles. "What do you think she was doing, Starfleet?"

Sighing, "That's not what I meant, Maquis."

"I know, I know," she said waving her hand from side to side. "It's just how you said it."

Getting impatient, Harry rolled his eyes, "Anyway, why tell me?"

Smirking, "Just wanted to let you know," leaning in closer to Harry, she continued, "From what Megan told me, Tom has a small case of dunlap disease."

Crinkling his eyebrows, "What the hell is 'dunlap disease'? Is it contagious?" Hearing B'Elanna's snort of laughter, Harry asked, "Why the hell are you laughing?"

"Harry, Harry, Harry," B'Elanna began shaking her head, "You don't catch it. Haven't you ever heard the phrase 'My stomach dun lapped over my belt'?"

Eyes widening in comprehension, "Oh." Harry sat back in his seat pondering what to do next. Suddenly sitting up in his chair, he muttered, "Now I definitely need to see him." He said his good byes to B'Elanna, got out of his chair and left the mess. B'Elanna followed him out with her eyes, than shaking her head she burst into giggles again.

Sigh "If I keep laughing this hard, I'm gonna pull something." Deciding she'd laughed enough for the moment, she went back to her plate.

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Getting off the turbolift, Harry walked down the corridor heading towards his quarters. Looking down at his feet the whole time, he hadn't realized he wasn't standing in front of his own quarters. Why'd I stop at Tom's quarters for? he thought to himself. I know why. I want to see if the rumors are true. Anything coming out of Megan's mouth isn't always correct. Of course she could be telling the truth. Harry had never seen Tom shirtless.

Willing up his courage he pressed the chime button. No response. He pressed it again and still nothing. Knowing Tom's codes by heart, he punched them in. Harry walked over the threshold. What he saw stopped him dead in his tracts. Tom's back was facing him. Harry let out a squeak. Tom was wrestling with the ties of his gasp girdle. Tom heard Harry's squeak and whipped around. Tom saw the blush spreading it's way through his best friend's face.

"Harry, what the hell are you doing here? How 'bout buzzing next time before entering?" Tom yelled, feeling himself blush at being caught.

"OhmyGod! It's true!" Harry giggled suddenly.

"Hey! Are you laughing at me?"

Walking over to Tom, Harry smiled, "You know Tom, you really don't need to wear one of those."

"No? Why not?" Tom asked suspiciously.

"Well. . ." He began, "You have a magnificent figure and your stomach is kinda cute the way it sticks out like that," Harry said, wrapping his arms around Tom's waist.

Grinning, "Glad you like my figure."

"Oh very much. What say you and me go into the bedroom?" Tom raised an eyebrow at this. Continuing, "So we can see what else you've been hiding from me."

Brain heavily fogging over, "OK."

Harry grabbed Tom's hand and led him into the bedroom. The door closed behind them. All you could hear coming from the other side of the door was soft moans and gasps.

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End