by Choirboy
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Spoilers for the Chute

No rating.

I've been wanting to write a post-Chute story for some time now, but I've never been able to say what I really want. This isn't it either, but it's as close as I'm going to get for the foreseeable future.

Feedback please.

Oh, and by the way? Paramount owns them, ok?

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Personal Log.

It's three o'clock in the morning...

That line from an old song keeps running through my head.

I lie back in the bed and gaze out of the overhead window, unable to sleep again.

God, it's hot. I've thrown back the covers and now lie here with the air conditioning on full blast, yet I'm still too warm. Voyager's systems are on grey mode, so there's not much power to go around. I should really turn it down and just sweat it out.

"Computer, reduce air conditioning to minimum."

It's the sort of a night where you wander about, pacing the floor, unable to sleep. At home you'd throw open a window and watch as the storm lashed the landscape. No such luxury here, of course.

I miss him.

When this has happened before, we'd just lie there and talk, until one of us eventually drifted back to sleep. Not really talking about anything, just reassuring each other by the fact that we were both here. But when he's away, and the nightmares come. . .and you come awake screaming in fear, drenched in sweat. . .

"Computer, resume previous aircon levels."

Perhaps a glass of water will help.

The question is, is he awake?

Catching a glance at myself in the mirror, hair all dishevelled, that panicked look in my eyes, sweat rolling down my body, I wonder what he sees in me.

I miss him.

God, it's hot.

---
Personal Log.

If I lie back and gaze up at the sky, I can try and pick out Voyager from here. It's hot down here, but at least the rain has a cooling effect. The storm still breaks the night sky from time to time, but at least it's moved off now.

Is he asleep up there?

I know I can't even relax, knowing that he's not lying next to me. God, I hate away missions. Three months ago, I would have jumped at the chance to get out on my own for a while. Even a routine supply mission would have been a break from the normal life on Voyager, but now all I want to do is to get back into bed, pull the covers over us and forget everything.

I miss him.

I bet he's wandering the cabin up there, unable to sleep, missing me.

I hope he's missing me.

I'm worried about him. Since the clamps were removed, we've clung to each other like rocks in a stormy sea. Whenever one of us wakes, screaming, sweating and shaking with fear, the other has been there. Thank God it's never happened to both of us at the same time. But now, what's going to happen if he wakes? The nightmares are too much for one person to handle. He needs me. We need each other.

I miss him.

---

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Couldn't sleep. I'm lying down here, thinking of you, and hoping you were asleep."

"No, it happened again. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I had to call you. Sorry."

"Hey, that's the deal, remember? We are each other's life support. For as long as it takes, for now and forever. 'This man is my friend. Nobody touches him.'"

"Don't leave me."

"Never."

"I miss you."

"I know." The mantra over, I lie back and try to rest. The aircon has switched off automatically, probably used up my ration.

He'll be back tomorrow. All I have to do is to hold on till tomorrow. Hold on till I can hold him.

Tomorrow. And the next day, and the next, and the next.

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End