by Choirboy
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No spoilers, but this is definitely the end of the series.

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The shuttle glided into the open bay and landed smoothly. Tom tapped the communications console.

"Paris to Bridge. Docking complete. Shuttlebay secure."

Janeway's voice came back loud and clear over the intercom. "Acknowledged. Well done, Tom. Report to my ready room, please."

Tom jumped down from the hatch and proffered a victory salute to Ensign Dern, the other shuttle pilot, as he powered his engines down. Dern returned the wave with a thumbs up and a gesture asking if Tom would would like a drink. Tom shook his head. He had plans for this evening.

As he walked along the corridor to the turbolift, for the first time since leaving Voyager to clear a path through the asteroid belt, Tom had time to think about the experience he had gone through. He was one of those rare people who were able to block any distraction from his mind while concentrating on a particular job. Thank God, he thought, as he remembered the feel of Harry's hand on his cock. The memory brought an instant erection. Wow, he thought, and this is just after a quick grope. What happens later?


Captain Janeway smiled as Tom entered the ready room. "Well done, Tom. Voyager came through with barely a scratch. Chakotay is nearly as good a pilot as you!"

Tom looked sceptical.

"Well, maybe not quite," Janeway amended with a smile.

Taking the offered seat, Tom gazed out of the window at the stars streaking past while the captain instructed the replicator to prepare coffee for two.

In turn, Janeway regarded the young man who had become so much of an integral part of Voyager. In the short time she had known him, the cocky, arrogant ex-con had matured into a seasoned officer, with one hell of an aptitude for flight. She knew that Voyager couldn't be in safer hands. And yet, she reflected, he had changed as a person, too. There was definitely a hint of sadness around the eyes . . . maybe a touch of regret?

"Tom, what's wrong?"

Startled out of his reverie, the pilot turned to face her. "Wrong?"

The captain tried again. "You don't seem . . . happy, lately. Are you dissatisfied with your life on Voyager?"

Tom smiled, that confident, dazzling smile that had so grated on her at first. "That's a hard one, captain. If you had asked me this morning, I would have said without a doubt that I was happy. After all, I have everything! A home here on Voyager, people who look up to me, a captain who trusts me. . ."

Janeway smiled at the implied compliment. "Flattery won't work with me, Tom. Neelix has learned that by now; why haven't you?"

Tom shrugged, still smiling. "Maybe I'm a slow learner."

Janeway shook her head, enjoying the teasing rapport she shared with this man, a man with whom she now regarded as one of her personal triumphs, having reclaimied him from a life that had almost destroyed him.

"A slow learner? When it comes to women, I doubt that, Lieutenant." The smile faded, and Janewaye knew she had lost him again to whatever was preying on his mind.

"You know, Tom, if you ever feel you want to talk, there are people on board who would listen."

Tom laughed bitterly. "Our esteemed first officer? No offence, captain, but I've had a hint of Chakotay's advice. Not pleasant. I think I'll pass, if that's okay with you?"

"I wasn't thinking of Chakotay. I know better than to push the two of you together. If I did, I probably wouldn't have much of a ship left. No, I was thinking of me."

Tom's blue eyes locked on hers. "You?"

"Who else on board knows you better than me?"

Tom paused to consider the question. "If you had asked me that this morning, I'd have said no-one. But now I'm not certain. Are you sure you want to hear this, Captain?"

In response, Janeway raised her voice to the comlink. "Computer, seal the doors. No interruptions till further notice."

Tom nodded his gratitude. Then, under the light of the stars of the Delta Quadrant, as Voyager continued her steady and sure journey home, he told her.

---

As Tom left, Kathryn Janeway slumped back in her chair, emotionally exhausted. The harrowing biography her pilot had unfolded had left her feeling totally drained. His cold and heartless relationship with a stern and unforgiving father, his never ending guilt over the accident that left three other pilots dead, his agony over being cashiered out of Starfleet, and his final degradation in the confines of a prison camp following his short time with the Maquis. These she had known. But the horror of his time spent in the New Zealand prison camp was fresh.

Tom had trembled with fear as he told her of the thugs who had beat him because he was an admiral's brat, of the daily intimidation by the guards who hated not only the Maquis, but everything they had stood for, and, above all, of the almost nightly gang rapes.

At first, Janeway had refused to believe such things could go on in this century, but, after taking in her pilot's shaking hands and white face, and hearing first-hand the graphic descriptions of the constant violence and brutality, she had come near to throwing up herself. She now understood.

---

Leaving the ready room, Tom dashed for the lift in case anybody saw him. Chakotay turned to congratulate the pilot, but, seeing the drawn look on his face, thought better of it. The lift doors closed and Tom slumped against the wall, still drained from his reliving of the nightmare of his past. He had hoped he would never have to go through something like that again, but opening up to the captain had been quite a catharsis for him. He felt cleaned somehow. The hurt was still there - he supposed it always would be - but somehow a healing process had begun.

He had heard that baring your soul was supposed to be good for you, he mused. He could only hope whoever had said it was right because now he had to go through it all over again with Harry.

---

Chakotay entered the ready room in response to his captain's summons. She was turned away from him, gazing out of the window. He waited a moment, but when she didn't acknowledge his presence, coughed politely. "You wanted to see me, Captain?"

The Captain turned to face him and he was startled to see her red eyes and blotchy face. She's been crying, he thought. What has Paris done now?

"Tom is on leave for the next two days. Rearrange the work shifts."

"Yes, ma'am. Was there anything else?"

The captain paused for a moment. "Yes. You mentioned to me you thought Tom and Harry might have a chance, because of Harry using some kind of emotional blackmail on Tom."

Chakotay nodded.

"I've told Tom that, if anyone ever mentions or does anything of that kind to him, he is to inform me at once. I will convene a court martial if necessary. That man has suffered more in the last few years than many of us will throughout our lives. There will be no more."

The Commander stiffened, hands on hips. "Tom Paris? Suffered? That's pathetic. He's nothing but an admiral's brat who didn't know when he had it easy. Even in prison, he made it easy for himself. . ."

"COMMANDER. THAT IS ENOUGH. You are dismissed."

Chakotay stared her down. "Yes, ma'am." Spinning around on his heel, he stalked out.

---

Tom buzzed Harry's doorchime. After a moment it opened and Harry stood there shyly.

"Hi."

"Hi yourself," replied Tom. They stood there in the awkward silence.

"Well," said Tom, "can I come in?"

Harry flushed. "Yes, of course. Sorry. Yes, come in, come in."

Tom moved into the immaculately neat quarters, noting the clarinet on its stand and the empty glass on the table. Harry followed his glance. "I was just having some wine. Would you like some?"

Tom smiled. "Why not. After all, isn't that how this all started?"

"Huh?"

"The night Captain Janeway died. We held our own private wake, remember?"

Harry blushed even deeper. "Oh, yeah. That was quite a night, wasn't it?"

They moved to the couch and sat with their glasses, enjoying the companionable silence as they fell back into their friendship.

Eventually, Harry spoke. "Tom, we have to talk about what happened."

Tom nodded seriously.

Harry paused for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

"The . . . incident . . . in the shuttlebay before you left Voyager? I want you to know I didn't mean anything by it. I mean . . . " he hurried on as he saw the look on Tom's face, "I mean I'm not going to hold you to anything because of it; it was only just some fun. No, that's not what I mean. I mean . . ."

Tom leaned over and put a hand on Harry's lips. "You know, Harry, you're so cute when you're embarrassed."

Harry was now a deep shade of red. "Cute?"

Tom turned serious. "Oh, yeah."

The kiss was long and languorous, very different from the frenzied episode in the shuttlebay. They both lay back on the couch, Harry full length on top of Tom, enjoying the feel of Tom's erection pressing against him. Eventually Tom levered Harry off with a grin. "If we don't stop now I'm gonna come in my pants, Harry."

Harry sat up. "Now that would be a waste, wouldn't it? You want to take this into the bedroom?"

Tom's grin spread even wider. "What do you think?"

Harry stood and offered Tom his hand. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

Tom took Harry's hand in his. "I'm here, aren't I? What do you think?" As they moved into the bedroom, Tom was suddenly shoved from behind, landing face down on the bed. A split second later, he felt Harry straddle him, pushing up his uniform top to expose his naked back. His lover's breath blew slowly across his spine, raising goose bumps down his backbone.

My lover, Tom thought with a sudden surge of . . . of belonging.

Gently, Harry pulled Tom's trousers down and then his boxers, exposing his ass to the cool air of the bedroom. The pilot suddenly tensed as Harry's tongue dipped down in between the crack to lick his hole. Tom's penis was rock hard against his stomach. He moaned with pleasure, then with frustration as the tongue was withdrawn. He heard the bed creak as Harry got up, then, moments later, lay down beside him, totally naked, his penis touching Tom's. The tips met and parted, smearing precome over each other.

Smiling evilly at Tom, Harry moved down the bed.

Tom gasped as Harry first swallowed his cock to the root, and then, with extreme tenderness, began sucking it. Tom looked down at Harry, his long black hair covering his face as he bobbed gently up and down on Tom's cock. Shifting slightly, Harry positioned his cock was in front of Tom's face. The pilot hesitated only for a moment, then opened his mouth and sucked Harry's cock into his mouth.

Harry grunted in ecstasy as he felt Tom sucking him. They both could feel the tension building and knew it would only be a matter of time before they both came.

Sitting up, Harry moved back up so as to face Tom. "Do you want to fuck me?" he whispered.

Tom grinned. "Well . . ."

Returning the grin, Harry reached into the top drawer of the bedside cabinet. First, he anointed himself with the lubricant he found there and then gently smeared his lover's cock. Tom gasped as the cold ointment touched the head of his cock, willing himself not to come.

Harry leaned back on the bed and raised his hips, offering Tom his first glimpse of his puckered hole.

Moved by the implicit trust Harry was showing, Tom paused for a moment, then gently eased his way in, marvelling at how perfect the fit was.

But then, he reflected, it was as if he had moulded Harry for this moment. It was him that had made Harry like this, so willing and able to love me.

Harry tensed as Tom pushed further into him, feeling a slight twinge of panic. He had never taken anything into him quite this big before. Looking up, he saw Tom's anxious face filling his vision and knew he had taken it all.

Tom began thrusting in a steady tempo, first slowly filling Harry, then withdrawing slightly before thrusting forward again. Each time he pushed a little harder until Harry was moaning helplessly, begging Tom to come. This in turn pushed Tom to the edge. All too soon he felt the first onrush of orgasm and collapsed on his lover as he emptied himself into Harry. The slump of Tom's body onto Harry was too much, and the younger man shot his load all over Tom's chest and crotch.

Tom rolled off, and they lay there together, chests heaving.

Eventually Harry rolled over and, raising himself up on one elbow, looked at Tom. "So what changed your mind?"

Tom considered the question. "No one single thing," he eventually replied. "The captain, for one. We talked, and she made me realise Voyager was offering me a whole new life. Even though she had been the one to technically come back from the dead, she made me see I was the one carrying ghosts around with me. Ghosts from my previous life," Tom clarifed. "Once I realized the truth of what she had said, I was able to start to bury those ghosts. The rest then became easier."

Harry was intrigued. "What else?"

"Well, something else the captain said. She asked me who on board knew me better than her? And the answer was obvious. You."

"Me?" squeaked Harry.

"Yeah," smiled Tom. "After all this time, you know me better than anyone. And I suppose I know you better than anyone else on board. If you were prepared to offer me what you just have, then all I had to do was to trust you. I know that you would never hurt me."

Harry smiled and got up to fetch the wine. "Although," he winced, "it's a good thing I never thought of that because I think it might be a bit painful sitting for a while. Mind you," he said as he came back into the bedroom, "it was worth it." His only answer was a pillow in the face.

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End