by Brighid
---

Harry awoke to the smell of cinnamon and the sound of singing. It was a slow surfacing, a gradual awareness of warm sheets, muted lights, a pleasant ache throughout his muscles. And of course, the tantalizing scent and unfamiliar music.

Harry swung himself out of the bed, not at all disconcerted to remember it was neither his bed nor his quarters. He followed the spicy smell out of the bedroom and into the eating alcove.

Two places set. Cafe au Lait, cinnamon rolls, and a frosted pitcher of something red. He dipped a cautious finger in, tasted the liquid. Ah- ha, cranberries and, he searched, rolling the taste over his tongue, unable to determine the other flavour.

"Harry, don't go poking at the food. I know where your hands have been."

Harry turned to find Tom watching him, his face a mingling of amusement, tenderness, and wariness. The last one vanished as Harry smiled, then came over and tousled the lieutenant's still damp hair until it stood up in fluffy blonde spikes. "You sing in the shower," Harry said, suddenly understanding the singing that had pulled him from sleep.

Tom shrugged, and attempted to smooth his hair. "I used to do it on stage, but so many people threw their drinks at me that I figured it would be easier to cut out the middle man. Damn it, Harry, I'm gonna look like a baby chicken on the bridge today!" Tom complained, turning and catching his reflection in the sheen of his replicator console.

Harry just laughed, and poured himself a glass of the red beverage. "This is good. Cranberries and what else?"

Tom closed the distance between them, and kissed the younger man with joyful thoroughness. At last they drew apart, both breathing hard.

"Passion fruit," Tom replied at last. "Definitely passion fruit."

Harry pitched a napkin at Tom's head. "You planned that," he accused good-naturedly as he sat down and began to eat breakfast. "But I'll forgive you. This is good. I was expecting something blue and wiggly, courtesy of Neelix. This is much better than the mess." Harry shook his head ruefully. "A place aptly named."

Tom poured himself some Cafe au Lait, and snagged a cinnamon bun. "Yeah, well, your rations paid for it." He took a large bite of the bun, and chewed it with relish. "Harry, we have got to play pool more often!"

Harry shot the lieutenant a knowing look, and washed down the last of his bun with the juice. "Let me remind you of my response last night," he began, only to be cut short by Tom leaning across the table and kissing him soundly on his open mouth.

After a few moments Tom leaned back, and smiled contentedly at the slightly flushed, definitely dazed ensign. "What I remember is a comment about being stripped naked. Which you already are. Which would really get the bridge crew's attention, never mind whomever you pass in the hall. Duty in thirty minutes, Ensign. Go home and get into uniform."

Harry started in realization that it was indeed almost time for duty; some part of him had forgotten there was anything besides here and now with Tom. Some other part of him was afraid that if he were to break away into the real world, all this would slip away, like a rainbow in a soap bubble. With a muttered oath he stood up, scrambled into his clothes, and made for the door.

Tom stopped him for a moment, his hand on his arm. "Harry, I'm not sure how to say this. . . "

Harry paused, met Tom's eyes with an opaque gaze. He swallowed convulsively, as if it required physical effort to keep from saying, 'Then don't!' "Yeah, Tom?" He kept his voice mild, praying that the soap bubble would not burst.

A slow flush suffused the older man's face. "Harry, can we keep this quiet for awhile?" he asked hesitantly.

Harry fought the stiffening of his spine, forced himself to nod. "If that's what you want, yeah, we can keep it quiet." Despite all his best efforts, the unspoken 'Why?' echoed between them.

Tom leaned in, and for the third time that morning, kissed Harry. This time his mouth was tentative in its caress; it was like a first kiss, hesitant and wondering. "I want to hold this close," he whispered against Harry's lips, brushing them softly with his own at each word. "I don't want to share this with anyone yet. I don't want it. . . broken."

Harry relaxed visibly, and reached up to stroke Tom's jaw. "Okay, Tom," he agreed. "We can keep this to ourselves, for now at least." Provided the rest of the crew goes deaf and blind, he added silently, looking into the sky-blue gaze of the lieutenant, and the transformation that those eyes held. Like light, bursting through clouds. "Love you. Bye."

"Love you," Tom replied, even as the door closed, separating them.

---

B'Elanna made a point of being at the engineering station on the bridge. Normally, she let someone else man the bridge; she tended to be possessive about Engineering, hence the source for Tom's more ribald jokes about her relationship with the warp core. But today was different. She wanted to see what, if anything, had sprung from the seeds she had sown last night. The engines had been behaving itself surprisingly well, lately, and a girl needed something to amuse herself.

Tom was the first to arrive. He looked peaceful and rested, which in and of itself was a major development. She watched him assume his duty station, relieving the young Bajoran who had worked first shift. Yes, there was definitely something different there. That tightly-wound aura, while not completely gone, was clearly reduced, and he was smiling quietly. Not the shit-eating grin that made her grind her teeth in frustration, but a private smile that spoke of secrets and happiness. She felt an answering smile form on her own face; things were looking up.

Harry was only a few minutes behind, but infinitely more hurried. While neat and proper as usual, he still had the air of someone who had gotten dressed in a rush, and his glossy black hair was visibly damp. Her smile widened, became almost smug. So Harry had woken up late, had he? Better and better.

She managed to busy herself at her station, not wanting to be too blatant in her scrutiny of Tom and Harry. She didn't want to spook them, after all. They were more likely to reveal themselves if they didn't have someone openly gawking at them.

Her patience was rewarded. Through the veil of lowered lashes, she saw Harry staring at the back of Tom's head, a thoughtful smile upon his face. She followed the gaze, and had to stifle a laugh. She had been so busy watching Tom's face, she hadn't really noticed anything else. Tom's usually ordered hair was distinctly fluffy, and undeniably mussed today, as if someone had run their fingers through it with loving thoroughness. It made the blonde pilot look a little like a ruffled chick.

She looked back at Harry, and this time their gazes passed and locked. With slow deliberation, she lifted her eyebrows. The question was obvious. Had her boys learned to play nicely?

Harry gave a small shrug, but any attempt at avoiding an answer was thwarted by the glow in his eyes, the smile that would not, could not seem to leave his face. B'Elanna finally understood what people meant when they said that a person in love looked radiant. Harry looked like he could power the warp core, the replicators, and a Star Base to boot. She smiled back at him, her glance both knowing, and congratulatory. She signalled engineering, and requested a replacement; the boys might be in good shape, but the anti-matter buffers could probably use going over. Just in case.

Tom sat in his chair and flew the ship. It was a good thing this was routine space, routine flying. While at a conscious level he was as attentive as usual, he had a feeling that his subconscious was playing other venues. Who would have thought, 24-hours ago, that he would have lived his dreams, for once, instead of his nightmares?

He was acutely aware of Harry at Ops behind him. His nerve-endings were so wired that he almost thought he could hear the other man's pulse, feel his gaze each time it brushed that sensitive spot at the base of his skull, the one that he hadn't known until last night was an erogenous zone. He realized how foolish he was to think that they could keep this quiet. He was sure every line of his body called out what had happened the night before. How could he have been touched by Harry Kim, and expect it not to show on him like a brand? Not to show in every movement, every glance? Never mind the damn smile that for all his best efforts he could not manage to smother. Shit, he had it bad.

And he had never been so happy in his life.

That thought alone was enough to dim the smile; such happiness did not go unpunished. Life had taught him that, through a series of blows and disappointments guaranteed to break almost any man. Tom knew with a certainty that weighed like lead in his gut that in the end, whatever Harry might say to the contrary, even this would fall apart. But still, while it lasted, he could fly in more than one sphere, store up memories, love and be loved enough to last a lifetime. He had here and now, and that would have to suffice.

Harry watched B'Elanna leave the bridge, chagrined and amused at the same time. The woman was incorrigible. He had been right, of course. Anyone with eyes and sense must know that something had happened between him and Tom. Trying to hide it was as futile as trying to cover a supernova. It burned too hot and bright for subtlety or subterfuge. Besides, he didn't want to deny it. He wanted to go on the ship-wide comlink, and tell the whole damn crew 'Tom Paris loves me, he's mine, thank- you for asking!' The thought of Tuvok, Chakotay, and Janeway's faces if he were to do that almost made him want to try it. The thought of Tom's face if he were to do so kept it nothing more than an idle fantasy.

Harry glanced again at the back of Tom's neck. His gaze lingered fondly on the 'baby chicken' hair that Tom had been unable to tame, moved down to the base of the skull where. . .

A soft bleep from his console drew his thought back into line. "Captain, we are approaching the Tau Sauri system. Preliminary scans indicate it is a G-class star, 6 planets, with two in the M-class range.One is desert, the other very close to Terran standard."

Janeway left her chair, and moved up to join him at his station. "Well, I must say this looks promising, Mr. Kim. Two worlds, both rich in possibility. Any signs of sentient life?" Her husky voice was alive with curiosity; she was the captain of a science vessel, after all, and exploration was in her blood.

Kim checked the readings. "No warp signatures, no evidence of sub-space communication, nor anything along other frequency bands that would indicate a sophisticated degree of technology. We'll need to get in closer, and scan each planet individually to see if any forms of sentient life exist." A faint thrill of discovery ran through him.

"Captain, new readings indicate mechanical debris in orbit around the desert world, the one closest to the sun. There are still no discernible signals, so I might postulate that the planet had a sophisticated society at one point."

"You might, indeed, lieutenant. Tactical scanners indicate that the material orbiting the planet is consistent with a sophisticated satellite system, fallen into disuse rather than willfully destroyed," Tuvok confirmed.

"Better and better!" Janeway said approvingly. "It looks like we might get to do some exploring, ladies and gentlemen. And if we are lucky, supplies. Mr. Paris, set a course that swings us by both planets so we can make a thorough scan of each. After that, we can see about arranging away teams." She strode briskly to her ready-room, where she could review the data as it streamed in and begin preparing for the away teams. "Mr. Tuvok, you have the conn."

"Acknowledged," Tuvok replied, but the door had already shut behind her. For the first time, Tom dared to turn and look at Harry. "I'd say she was excited. How about you?"

Tuvok regarded Paris dispassionately, yet somehow made it clear that he was refraining from comment on the younger officer's behaviour. Levity was not appreciated on Tuvok's bridge. With a small, gentle smile that made Harry's knees weak, he turned back to his console. "Hey, everybody needs something to be happy about, now and again," he commented softly, to no one in particular.

Harry hoped that Tom would remember he had said that.

---

Janeway called a senior staff meeting 13 hours later, within seconds of the last reading needed to determine sentient life, as well as biological and mineral wealth.

She waited with seeming patience as her crew entered and took their seats, but there was still the air of a tightly wound spring about her. This was, after all, her passion. New worlds, new wonders to explore. It was all she could do to keep from grinning like an idiot. She'd read, however, that starship captains did not grin like idiots, so she settled for a small, happy smile.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have hit the proverbial jackpot," she opened, referring their attention to the sensor logs displayed on the main viewscreen. Tau Sauri IV is absolutely teeming with life - especially food. There are a variety of life-forms present, but none approaching sentience. It is a very young world, really. Tau Sauri III is a desert -the atmosphere is thin, the temperatures low, violent dust-storms. Not completely unlike Mars."

"A good analogy, Captain," Harry interjected. "Mars held life long before Earth did, if only at the bacterial level, but changes in the Sun caused Mars to fall off and Earth to pick up - which seems to have been the case here. For reasons not yet determined, it seems that Tau Sauri expanded about five million years ago - destroying the civilization on TS III, and causing life to take hold on the heretofore barren TS IV."

"Heretofore?" Tom muttered under his breath, leaning towards the younger officer. "You been reading Tuvok's reports again, Harry?"

Kim shot Paris a dark look, but otherwise ignored him. "The planet seems to have died off fairly quickly, really - over the course of a century, it just dried up. However, despite severe climate conditions, there are a number of ruins remaining - some subterranean. It looks like an incredible archaeological find."

"I agree," said Janeway. "Remarkable, really. This system is exactly the sort of thing Voyager was built for, even if we had to get flung 70 years out of our way to find it," she acknowledged ruefully. "Neelix informs me that our food needs are rather pressing, and the Doctor seems to think the scans indicate some `unique bio-medical possibilities', so I'm going to leave Voyager in orbit around Tau Sauri IV, and send two run-abouts over to Tau Sauri III with crew and equipment to begin surveying the planet. When we've restocked, and taken as many reading and samples as we need, we will come over to join the survey team on Tau Sauri III. Chakotay and Neelix will head the team on IV, while Paris, you take Kim and head the team on III. Kes will go with you as medic, and I've assigned a complement from Xeno-archaeology."

B'Elanna frowned over a reading on the PADD before her. "Captain, the mineral survey from III indicates trace amounts of dilithium. I'd like to join that team, and pursue that angle."

Janeway nodded decisively. "Done. All right, people, let's get going. The universe awaits!"

---

Harry loaded the last of the equipment into the cargo hold of the run-about. "Man, these guys use a lot of stuff. I thought archaeology was a few small hammers and dust filters and stuff like that."

"Dream on, Ensign!" Paris laughed, marking off the last of the cargo on his inventory list. "The older the ruins, the bigger the equipment. These guys are serious about unlocking the mysteries of the universe!" He moved around to the cockpit of the first run-about, the one he'd be flying, and began the pre-flight check. Harry followed him in, and ordered the door closed behind them.

"Where is everybody else?" He slid into the co-pilot's seat, and began checking auxiliary systems.

Tom frowned in concentration as he fine-tuned his settings, then relaxed, even smiled at Harry. "Kithys from Xeno-archaeology is flying the other ship. He'll be doing pre-flight in 20, right after their department briefing. That's why you and I got to do the cargo load. As for Torres, she's probably just kissing the warp core good-bye and telling it to behave until mama gets back." He grinned at that, and Harry, looking up from his console, felt his throat constrict almost painfully. Slight lines fanned out around eyes as clear and blue as a sky washed clean by storms. Harry tumbled head-long into the open spaces, and was lost.

Without conscious volition, his hand reached out, captured the other man's chin with gentle fingers. They looked like molten gold spilled on snow, flame and water, earth and sky. "You mean, we're alone?" Harry asked, his voice deepening, curling over Tom like liquid fire.

"For a few minutes," Tom replied cautiously, half-laughing, half-afraid.

Harry smiled, and Tom wondered how he could ever have thought Harry's expression inscrutable. Everything the young ensign thought played out across his face. And right now he was thinking. . .

"A few minutes is more than enough time, Tom." The words were soft, teasing, and spoken just inches from the lieutenant's waiting mouth. Tom sincerely hoped that B'Elanna was giving the engines a long good- bye, before all thought was lost to him entirely.


B'Elanna found them pouring intently over the consoles, immersed in the standard pre-flight check. She smiled, and decided not to remind them that Klingon physiology included a heightened sense of smell. No need to make them uncomfortable. Besides, the rest of the away-team would be here in a matter of minutes. What was the point of teasing them if she couldn't do a thorough job of it?

"Well, it looks like you two have been busy," she said with careful neutrality, ignoring Kim's sharp glance, and the faint flush that pinked Tom's ears. "Everything ready, I take it?"

Harry stood, stretched, yawned. "Yeah. We've loaded all the equipment, and even set a landing site based on the readings. Huge subterranean structure, and the source of your dilithium signatures."

B'Elanna took a seat aft of them. "Well Xeno better get a move on. We're in orbit around Tau Sauri IV, and the sooner we get going, the better. I've got things to do!"

Tom leaned back, smiled roguishly at her. "Afraid Carey'll make a play for the warp-core while you're gone? Don't worry, Bella! You know it'll only pulse for you!"

Harry fielded the data PADD before it even got near the lieutenant's grinning face, and sighed. "I get the feeling that this is going to be a long trip." He thought of the time to be spent in close quarters, with Tom, and no chance for privacy whatsoever, and sighed again. A very long trip, indeed.

---

Tau Sauri III was roughly the size of Earth, with two, small, frozen polar caps that glinted dully. Even before they hit orbit, they could see violent dust storms eddying on the planet's surface. Tom shuddered, as if he could feel the wind biting into his own flesh, and slid the small ship into orbit, waiting for the second run-about to come in just under him. When both ships were set, they took the requisite readings, and set a course for landing that would let them get close to the desired landing site, yet still miss as many of the storms as possible. It was a white knuckle ride down, but both pilots managed it well, bringing their ships safe to ground. Equipment and crew were beamed into the chamber their sensors had told them was 50 meters below their landing site. Breathers were carried, but not really needed, since readings indicated a breathable,if somewhat stale, atmosphere. The Xeno-archaeologists moved quickly, setting up a base-camp, and beginning to take readings of everything and any thing that fit within their mission parameters.

Harry, Tom, B'Elanna, and Kes helped with the initial set-up, but were quickly left behind as the specialists got working.

"I am feeling decidedly extraneous," Tom declared, watching the Xeno- archaeologists immerse themselves in their task.

B'Elanna tugged on his arm, gesturing eastward with the tricorder she held in her other hand. "You are extraneous here! So come and help me trace these dilithium readings!!!"

Tom faked a lurch, as if B'Elanna had tugged him off his balance, and made a piteous face at Harry and Kes. "The woman is obssesed. All she ever thinks of is her beloved engines! She has no mercy for us weaker beings of flesh and - yeow!"

Harry and Kes laughed as B'Elanna really did pull Tom off-balance, so that he had to hop along behind the determined Klingon, or else end up in an undignified heap on the cavern floor.

"Harry, I think we'd better go along, just to make sure B'Elanna doesn't kill Tom," Kes said, her gentle voice alight with laughter.

"Or else go along as witnesses for the court-martial, to say that it was justifiable," Harry agreed, setting his own tricorder to follow the dilithium signature that was calling the engineer farther in to the underground structure.

The tricorder gave them a reading some 100 meters east of their current position. Harry and Kes made no effort to actually catch up, but instead amused themselves by listening to the almost childish bickering of the two lieutenants up ahead. "Knock it off, Paris" and "Oh, but Bella," echoed several times back to the more reserved pair.

After about 40 meters of this, Kes sighed. "Perhaps I misunderstood, coming from a species with such a brief life-span. I thought this phase ended with adolescence? At about 16 or 17? And younger, in Klingons?"

Harry grinned, glanced at the petite Ocampan, then looked back at his sensor readings. "For most of us, yeah. Some of us just take a little longer to get it out of our system, I guess."

Kes laid a gentle hand on his sleeve. "I'm glad to hear him laughing again, too," she said softly.

Harry glanced down, met her thoughtful, yet unobtrusive gaze. "So am I," he said at last. She gave his arm a friendly squeeze, but made no further comment. That's two, thought Harry. Yeah, we're keeping it real quiet, Tom.

Kes touched the walls around them, trailing her fingers as they moved along. "This looks natural, but it isn't, is it?" she asked.

Harry nodded, a little surprised and somewhat impressed by her astuteness, then remembered that Kes had lived the first part of her life in a subterranean world.

"The initial cavern is naturally occurring, but you're right, the subsequent tunnels and chambers appear to be created by someone. Too regular a pattern to be natural."

Kes was quiet a few more moments, as if gathering her thoughts. "Do you think they built this to try and survive what was happening to their planet? Like a shelter? Do you think this was their last hope?"

Harry shivered a little at the bleakness of the words. "It's hard to tell, Kes. The archaeologists will be able to tell us more, later. For all we know, these chambers had been an integral part of their culture for generations before climactic changes threatened their existence."

They had caught up with the Tom and B'Elanna by this point, the long tunnel flaring out into chamber almost as big as their beam-in site. Both were quiet now, busily scanning for the source of the dilithium reading that had beckoned them.

Harry and Kes left them to it, and began an exploration of a different sort. This chamber, while maintaining the "natural" look of the corridor leading to it, still showed obvious signs of intelligent life. One wall was awash in a brilliant mosaic that seemed to change depending on the angle you viewed it at. From one direction it seemed to be a landscape, earth and sky meeting at a glowing horizon. But when Kes summoned Harry over to view it from her perspective, he saw instead two beings, one rendered in shades of brown and amber, the other in white and blue, frozen at the moment of embrace, eternally intertwined. It was beautiful, intense, and probably incredibly significant.

"Archaeology is going to want to see this," Harry said at last, his voice sounding hushed and awed. He tapped his com badge, and alerted Kithys of the find.

"Sounds good, Kim. I'll send someone down in a few minutes. Don't let B'Elanna tear it down in the meanwhile, even if the dilithium is right behind it, okay?" the archaeologist instructed, only half-joking.

Kim promised, and broke the connection. Harry moved towards the mosaic, to study it in more detail. It was oddly compelling; it seemed to draw him to it. A low jut of rock beneath it kept him from actually touching the picture. It was about waist high, and except for a series of glyphs running along the top, and what seemed rather like two sets of hand prints imbedded on the surface, it might have been a natural formation.

Harry tried to match his hands to one set of prints. The dimensions were slightly off, and they seemed designed for three digits instead of five, but he was able to make his hands fit all the same. It felt. . . right.

Across the room, B`Elanna gave a triumphant cry. Harry dimly heard the words "panel" and "machine". There was a low, humming sound, and then a sudden jolt flooded through the stone panel, and up his arms. For a brief moment he felt his body arch beneath the alien surge; for a second more he was awash in synesthesia, and then he was falling into blackness. He thought he heard Kes' voice cry out, then a wrenching cry that must have been Tom. He tried to fight the darkness, tried to reach out to Tom's voice calling his name, but he was still falling, spiraling, drowning. . .

Tom watched in amazement as B'Elanna opened the wall to reveal a maze of alien-looking technology. "This is the dilithium, Tom! It was hidden behind a panel, the fuel source for a machine! It isn't a natural source at all, but hell, if we can get it out, we can use it!" The engineer leaned into the apparatus, trying to make sense of it. Her hand brushed against something, and the machine hummed to life. "What the hell?"

A low noise, little more than a gasp made Tom whirl around. He saw Harry at the opposite wall arch, dusky light cascading around his body. He heard Kes call out a wordless warning, felt an answering cry torn from his suddenly dry throat. He was across the room in a heartbeat, Harry landing in his arms. For a moment there was a spark of recognition in the velvet brown gaze, then. . . nothing. Darkness, black and deep and drowning. Loss sharp as a knife sliced through him, and Tom clutched Harry, shook him, kissed him, trying to get some reaction, some sense of the man who was his best friend.

Who was his beloved.

Who was unutterably gone.

And Tom wept.

---

End