by Helene Black
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It wasn't that hard.

No one would have expected it from me.

Tom would have.

I made his last design, everyone pitched in - when I'd let them. Janeway apparently thought it my way to grieve.

Every free hour, every night I'd wake from a dream and turn to watch him sleep. .. I'd head to the shuttlebay and work on the Paris Flyer.

My duties were cut, extra time to 'come to terms'.

It was between the two of us, only enough time to get one out alive, or so we thought. Phasers dead, days before Voyager was scheduled to return, unable to raise the shuttle for an emergency beam out, and the exit to the cave, only wide enough for one to climb out at a time.

And that creature that had already eviserated Neelix hot on our tail.

Barely enough time to recognise where we were, as we heard it snarling as it turned the corner to where we were. . . Then shoving me back, Tom rushed towards it.


I woke in sickbay, uninjured, just in enough time to hear Tom's last rasp.

That was five months ago.

Five fucking months ago.

And now I'm here, in the Paris Flyer. I don't know what Janeway was thinking, as if Seven's presence would make me flinch.

I ditched her two systems back, with plenty of emergency gear.

Halfway back.

I insisted on burial on a planet. No dust to sun flare for my Tom.

I've been ignoring all hails from Voyager. Easy enough to do, when you're faster and cloaked.

It'll take them 2 weeks to reach me.

It'll take me 2 days to get there.

And then. . .

Keep your fingers crossed.

---

We were in the cave barely five minutes, before everything went to hell. Neelix was scanning various types of fungial growth near the mouth of the cave. . . When something knifed through the back of the cave, causing the cave to collapse in on itself.

Tom made a diving leap to clear the last few meters to the cave entrance, and made it, only to have a small boulder roll forward and trap his ankle.

I jumped on top of him, to shield him from the debris still shooting from the cave entrance, though I should have activated the shuttle emergency beam out.

And now my lover is refusing to come to bed and reassure me of his well-being, until I write 50 times I will activate the emergency shuttle beam out, by hand. . . on paper.

I will activate the emergency shuttle beam out.
I will activate the emergency shuttle beam out.
I will activate the emergency shuttle beam out.
I will activate the emergency shuttle beam out.
I will activate the emergency shuttle beam out.

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End