by Belynda
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Date: 14 September 1998

Archiving: Yes to all

Disclaimer. All characters, places and terminology that you recognize do not belong to me. They belong to Paramount. Anything else you recognize belongs to me. I make no profit from these stories.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This story is about a m/m relationship. If this isn't your cup of tea or if you are under 18, what are you doing here? You have been warned!

---

Harry looked back down the corridor to make sure that no one had followed him. He knew he was being paranoid but what he was about to do couldn't be seen by any other person. Well, maybe Chakotay and only because he trusted him not to tell anyone else. Noticing that the corridor was indeed empty, he placed the disk he carried into the holodeck mainframe. quot;Computer run program Kim Alpha Beta 89h87j."

"Working. . . Password is required."

"Kim Day Sun Earth 34f45g."

"Password accepted. Please specify parameters."

"Safeties off. Level 4.c. Situation 2.4."

"Working. . . Complete."

With one last look down the corridor, Harry entered into the darkness of the holodeck.

---

Later that day

"Computer location of Ensign Kim." Chakotay ask the computer as he toweled his wet hair dry from the shower he had just taken.

"Ensign Kim is in his quarters."

Tossing the towel in the general direction of the bathroom, Chakotay pulled in some clothes. Even though Harry was fit and healthy, according to the Doctor, Chakotay still couldn't get over his fear that something wasn't right. Oh, he knew that the Doctor was right, Harry was healthy, but that still didn't take away the feeling that Harry was different, changed. He had asked several times if Harry wanted to talk about it. But he would just change the subject or kiss Chakotay into forgetting the question.

But as each day passed he knew that Harry was keeping something from him. And tonight he was going to get some answers. Making his way to Harry's quarters, he wondered how he was going to ask his lover what was wrong. There was the obvious way, just coming out and asking him, or there was the less direct approach. Hopefully he would have his questions answered tonight, although he hoped that their relationship wasn't harmed in the process. If tonight went to plan, they would end up making love. He only hoped the sex didn't change after he asked his questions. He blushed, remembering how over the last six weeks or so, ever since Harry had been released from sick bay, that the sex had been more mind blowing than ever.

Before Harry's accident, the sex had been great. A few times he had passed out under the sheer orgasmic overload. But since the accident? Spirits, almost every other time he passed out now or came close to passing out. A few times Harry had even come close to calling for the Doctor. If that was one of the things he lost in finding out the truth, then so be it. Having Harry complete and whole would be worth it.

Entering Harry's quarters, he spotted Harry reading a padd on the couch. His lover looked up when he heard the door close. Seeing the beautiful smile that spread across Harry's face, he crossed over to the couch, and took Harry into his arms for a long passionate kiss.

Caressing Harry's silky hair, Chakotay sought out Harry's tongue, groaning when their tongues met and slid across the other's. Harry reached up and caught Chakotay's head between his hands, holding him in place while they kissed. Finally the older man pulled back. "Hello."

Chuckling, Harry caressed the First Officer's moist lips. "Hello to you too. Are you free this evening?"

Settling into the couch, Chakotay picked up the padd Harry had dropped while he was kissing him. "Yes. Did you want to do anything in particular or did you just want to stay here?" Because no one knew of their relationship, they very rarely left their quarters. Chakotay knew that when Harry felt more comfortable with what he expected the crew's reaction to be, then they would come out in the open. The Doctor was the only one who knew of their relationship and that had only been out of necessity, when on one particular night, they had gotten a little rough in their love making and the next day they had to go to the Doctor to have some of the more serious wounds treated.

"I though we could stay here tonight. Have you eaten yet?" Harry asked as he stroked his lover's hand as it rested within his.

"No I haven't. Why don't we pool our credits and have something really nice? Add some wine and music, and the evening will be perfect."

Grinning Harry stood up. "Aye, aye Sir. Coming right up." Knowing Chakotay's taste in food, he ordered a meal that they would both enjoy from the replicator. Then he chose the wine and the music.

Chakotay watched his lover preparing their meal for a moment, then looked down at the padd he still held in his hand. Curious to know that Harry had been reading, he tapped the on button and began to read. Several minutes later the smile was gone from his face and now he was more concerned than ever. Oh Harry, why don't you tell me? He thought as he looked at his lover who stood with his back to him.

"Tell you what, baby?" Harry asked as he set the knives and forks down on the table.

Luckily Harry didn't see how Chakotay's head snapped up to stare at him. After a moment he thought Why don't you tell me your secrets?

Harry stilled, his back to his lover. "What secrets are you talking about?"

Where shall I start? Lets start at the beginning. Why do you go still go to see the Doctor every day, even though it had been six weeks since you were released from sickbay - eight weeks since your accident? Does it have something to do with the fact that you only sleep a few hours a night? And why do I sometimes come in here, and you are just staring at the wall or out the window and it would be a full five minutes before you notice I'm even in the same room? Why have you increased the time you spend on the holodeck from one hour a day to two and a half?

This hadn't been the way that he had wanted to ask these questions but he couldn't stop asking them any more than he could his next question. I want you to turn around and look at me when I ask this next question.

Harry turned around and looked his lover in the eye. It was then that Chakotay knew beyond a doubt that Harry was hearing every word he had thought. Swallowing, Chakotay asked his last question. Harry, how long have you been telepathic? Holding his breath, he watched Harry's reaction to his last question.

First he frowned as if he was trying to comprehend the question. Then his eyes shot down to Chakotay's lips and saw that they were still. Then he looked up into Chakotay's eyes again, this time with the realisation that he had just revealed himself to his lover. "Oh fuck." He whispered before he dropped down to the ground.

Crossing to his side, Chakotay lowered himself to the floor beside Harry who was rocking where he sat. "You've only become telepathic since the accident haven't you?"

"Yes. No. God, this is so hard. When I was a child, I was telepathic, among other things. But when I was eleven, I was involved in a accident. When I woke up, all my abilities and gifts were gone. And they didn't return. At least not until this accident." Harry lifted his head and looked at Chakotay with a sad smile. "My parents were so glad that my abilities were gone. They hated the fact that I was different and in a lot of ways they resented me from changing from their son to a child with these unschooled abilities. I think they felt threatened and a little frightened about what I could do. But after my accident, when we all realized that my abilities were gone, I think they were happy, despite the fact that I felt incomplete and lost. They didn't understand. That was almost as painful as losing the gifts."

"What are these gifts? Abilities?"

"Well, at the moment I know for a fact that I am telepathic again. You've just proven that. The main reason that I have been going to the doctor every day, is that he can give me a suppressant that stops the abilities from progressing too fast for me. If they all come back at once, then they could become a liability especially when I am on duty."

"The Doctor knows about this? And he didn't tell the Captain?" Chakotay was shocked that the Doctor hadn't told the Captain. But then again what could the Doctor tell the Captain?

"He couldn't tell the Captain. Patient Confidentiality. Anyway, I'm fine. All I have to do is watch out for the warning signs and meditate. Sometimes I have had to meditate while I am on duty but my job has never been affected. As soon as it does, I'll take myself off duty. The Doctor is keeping a close eye on my progress."

"So we now know you are telepathic. What other abilities do you think will come back?"

"You name it, I've probably experienced it. I can hear people's thoughts. I can see their memories. I can move objects with a thought - no matter how big or small. I can start fires or turn something to dust with a look. But that doesn't matter now. What matters is what you are going to do with this information."

Chakotay was puzzled. "What I'm going to do with this information? What do you mean?"

"Are you going to tell the Captain?"

"She doesn't need to know. Does she?"

"No. Not at this time. If you or the Doctor find that the Captain needs to know, at any time, I want you to do so. Promise me this. I don't want to endanger the crew if I my abilities put anyone at risk. Promise me that you will tell the Captain if this happens." Harry asked, squeezing Chakotay's hand tightly.

Seeing that Harry wasn't going to give up until he promised, he did so, while knowing deep down that he would also do anything to protect Harry. "I promise. Now, weren't we going to have some dinner?" Seeing the grin that appeared on Harry's face, he knew he had said the right thing.

---

Several hours later Chakotay was panting heavily with desire as he thrust downward onto his lover's hard cock. Harry lay beneath him on the bed thrusting upwards into him. Both gasped as Chakotay sank down to the very base of his lover's cock, which considering Harry's large size, was a hard feat to do. Groaning he threw his head back, blinking the sweat out of his eyes. Feeling a light caress across both of his nipples, he looked down. Harry was lightly stroking his nipples. Looking deep into Harrys eyes, he leaned forward and took one of the bewitching hands and raised it until he could take one finger into his mouth.

Harry watched with dark eyes as his finger was caressed and licked by the commander's tongue. Chakotay held onto the ensigns hand as he sucked on the finger. Then Harry started to move his finger in and out of Chakotay's mouth, sliding against the hot tongue. The feel of the finger moving across his lips and tongue at the same time as Harry's hard cock was thrusting in and out of him, was to much and he released the finger and leaned down and kissed his lover.

Harry realized that his lover was close to orgasm and with a quick movement, he rolled them until Chakotay was beneath him. Bracing his arms on the bed to keep his weight off the commander, he thrust harder into the body beneath him. Harder and harder still until they were both sent over the edge. Pounding into the commander's body, Harry was barely aware of Chakotay's shout of pleasure as he came all over Harry's stomach and chest. Then Harry's world exploded into stars as he screamed Chakotay's name.

---

With a shiver Harry woke up to find Chakotay staring down at him. With a smile, he arched up and gave his lover a kiss. Relaxing back on the bed, Harry decided to test his telepathy. Love you baby.

He couldn't miss the start that Chakotay gave or the shocked look that came across his face. When his lover opened his mouth to question him, he covered Chakotay's lips with a finger tip. Think it and I will hear it.

Swallowing, Chakotay thought the words that were forever in his mind. I love you too.

Harry smiled his love back. "Hey, do you want to go to the holodeck? I think that Sandrine's is running."

"What now? Together?" Chakotay was indeed surprised. Even though they had been seeing each other for three months, they usually spent their time together in their quarters or by themselves's on the holodeck. Never together in the company with anyone else. For Harry to want to go out with him in public, meant that he was finally accepting of their relationship and all it meant.

Seeing the hope in his lover's eyes, Harry gave him a quick kiss. "Yes now and yes together. Unless you would rather stay here and do something else. . ." Another long kiss. And another.

Pulling back, Chakotay took several deep breaths. "No let's go now before you change your mind."

They quickly had a shower and got dressed. Chakotay stopped Harry by the door before it opened. "Are you sure that you want to do this? I will understand if you want to leave this for another night."

"No let's go tonight. Now or never." Hiding the impulse to run back into the bedroom, Harry looked towards the door. "Let's go."

---

B'Elanna looked up as Harry walked in the door who was followed by Chakotay. "Hey Starfleet, Chakotay. Do you feel up to a game of pool?"

Harry stared at her for a moment, then took the pool cue out of her hand and steered her away from the rest of the crowd. Noticing Chakotay heading towards the bar to get some drinks, he leaned closer to B'Elanna. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that as soon as I walked through the doors I could tell that you were upset about something. What is it?" Harry didn't tell her that he had felt her emotions when he entered the room.

She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Tom and I broke up tonight."

"You broke up? Why?"

"Mainly because I realized that he wasn't in love with me. I mean, sure he loves me but he isn't in love with me. And I couldn't keep going on like that."

Oh hell Tom. What have you done now? "Are you sure that he isn't in love with you? Tom can hide what he is really feeling pretty good."

She shook her head. "No, I even asked him if he was in love with me. He couldn't answer me. So we decided it wasn't fair to either of us, and we will now only see each other as friends."

"But you are also angry." Harry stated.

"Yes. I don't know, maybe I'm angry because he didn't fight me about breaking up. We both know that he has been after me for years now and I'm angry that he won't fight for our relationship." She sighed, looking away from her best friend. "It wouldn't hurt as much if I didn't already know that he is in love with someone else."

"What? Who? I don't think that Tom would fool around behind your back B'Elanna. Even he wouldn't do that." Harry was shocked but not for the reasons that B'Elanna thought. It was only three months ago that Tom was declaring his lust for Harry. It had only been because of Tom's declaration that Harry had approached Chakotay. Looking towards Chakotay, he knew that B'Elanna wouldn't talk to him if Chakotay was around. He sent a thought to his lover, seeing him give only the smallest starts as he heard Harry's thought. Chakotay, B'Elanna needs to talk. Could you stay away until I say so? Trust me on this, B'Elanna isn't ready to talk to you yet. He saw Chakotay give a nod, agreeing to do as Harry had said.

"That's what makes this so frustrating. I have no idea who this person is. I only know that one day Tom and I are friends and the next he is coming on to me. I was flattered at first and it had been a long time since I had been with a lover, so I didn't question his motives. But being that close to someone, you notice when he is thinking of someone else. I thought that with time he would forget about her and begin to love me, but he never did."

Harry hoped that she didn't see the guilt in his eyes. He felt responsible for the break up of her relationship with Tom but he didn't know what to do to make it better. "I am sorry B'Elanna. If you like I could talk to Tom."

She shook her head and squared her shoulders. "No but thanks. I know that your own relationship with Tom isn't to hot at the moment either, so I don't want you to do anything for me. . . Just be there for him. Okay?"

"Okay." He gave her a quick hug and watched as she left the holodeck. A few seconds later Chakotay appeared at his side.

"What was that about? She didn't look very happy."

"She and Tom broke up tonight."

"What? I thought that their relationship was going fine. What happened?"

"B'Elanna said that she had finally given up hope that Tom would fall in love with her. He loves her but not in the way she wanted. And she couldn't take it any more." Seeing the concern in his lover's eyes, Harry felt a touch of pride to know that this man, who was his lover, was one of the most sympathetic and caring people he knew. "She also said that she thinks that he is in love with someone else."

"Tom? In love with someone else? Spirits, no wonder she's upset. Does she know who it is?" Chakotay had his own reasons for not liking the pilot, one of them being that when Tom had found out that Harry had began a relationship with someone so soon after Harry had turned down Tom's suggestion to become lovers, Tom had said that he didn't want anything to do with Harry. Even after Harry's accident, and with Tom in a relationship with B'Elanna, Tom still hadn't apologized to Harry for what he had said to him. And for Chakotay that was almost as unforgivable as the actual words. But Chakotay never thought that Tom would sink as low as to sneak behind B'Elanna's back with someone else.

"B'Elanna doesn't have a clue who it is. And I think she knows that Tom didn't do anything with this other person. But that's not the worst part."

"What could possible be worse than being in love with some one while you are dating another person?"

Harry sighed. "I think that I am the person that Tom is in love with. Or what he thinks as love. I don't know, I may be wrong. But we are talking about a man who confessed his feelings towards me, kissed me, and thought that I was going to say yes to becoming lovers. Then I tell him no and to make matters worse, I tell him that I am in love with some else. He accepted that, and I think that he even thought that he might still have a chance with me. But then I tell him hat the same night I said no to him, I told this other person how I felt about them and that we had became lovers. Maybe I, we, underestimated his true feelings. And now they are paying for that."

Chakotay accepted what Harry said with a nod. Looking Harry straight in the eye, he whispered his love. "I love you, and Tom isn't going to take you away from me. I feel for B'Elanna and yes, I feel for Tom too. But you are mine. As I am yours, and no one is going to change that. Especially not Tom."

Seeing the love that poured out of his beloved, Harry sent a mental picture and love to Chakotay. The picture, thought, was of the two of them standing alone in a field of wild flowers and only looking at the other with love evident with every breath they took.

Chakotay gasped as he saw the picture in his mind and knew that Harry loved him to the depths of his soul. Although Harry had only told him of his telepathic abilities a few hours ago, Chakotay knew by this evening's actions, that he had better get used to seeing and hearing Harry in his mind. He smiled back at Harry and was glad that the corner that they stood in was dark enough that no one could see what he was feeling. Soon after they retired to Harry's quarters where they made passionate love in what they now considered their bed.

Only Tuvok, hidden in a corner of the room, noticed that they left together and more interesting was the fact that he had detected that they had been communicating on another level. But that wasn't logical, as both the Commander and Ensign Kim were not telepathic. Or were they? Maybe he should investigate this matter further. With that thought, Tuvok left the holodeck and headed towards sickbay to have a talk to the doctor.

---

The next day Chakotay was reading a report from engineering in his ready room, when the door chime went. "Come in." He heard the doors open and close and looked up to see to his surprise Tom Paris standing in front of his desk. "Tom, what can I do for you?"

Nervously licking his lips, Tom looked at the floor. "I was hoping we could talk Commander. If this isn't a good time, I can come back later."

Surprised at Tom's hesitation, Chakotay grew concerned. He knew that sometimes, when you broke up with someone, there was a delayed reaction in accepting what had happened. Maybe Tom was regretting his actions. He moved out from behind his desk and motioned for Tom to join him on the couch. He might not like the man, but he was still a member of the crew and a bridge officer. It was his duty to help Tom in any way that he could, for the good of the ship.

Tom sat beside him and started to twist his hands together. Chakotay had never seen Tom this agitated before and he was silently starting to worry. "Tom what's the problem? Anything you say to me will go no further than this room."

Tom shrugged and opened his mouth to speck but nothing came out. He tried again, clearing his throat first. "You know how B'Elanna and I were seeing each other? Well last night we broke up." He said in a rush, as if knowing that if he didn't, he might never get to say it out loud again.

Glad that Tom wasn't looking at him, Chakotay was silently thankful that he already knew that the two of them had broken up or he could have really goofed this up. "I'm sorry Tom. Was it a mutual decision?"

"Yeah it was. I mean, she ended it first but I know that it was the right thing to do. At least now we can go back to being friends and maybe she can find someone who will care for her like she deserves."

"You don't think that you loved her enough?"

"No, I love her. But I wasn't in love with her. And that's what she needs. Someone who will love her before all else. I couldn't do that. . ."

Chakotay had a feeling that he wasn't going to like what Tom had to say next. "Why couldn't you love her?"

"Because. . . Because I think I am in love with someone else. But he doesn't feel that way towards me."

Oh spirits. "Why do you think he doesn't feel the same way? Have you asked him?"

Tom laughed. "Yeah I asked him. And he said thanks but no thanks. Then I find out that he is involved with someone already. Maybe that's why I pushed so hard to make this relationship with B'Elanna work. I don't think I could have handled it if she had said no."

"And now?"

"Now I have forgotten about the other guy. Oh, I still think about him, but not in the same way. I also think that I am beginning to become attracted to another person."

Well at least he isn't thinking about Harry anymore. This could be good. "Do you think that is wise? After all you just broke up with B'Elanna. Give it some time before you do anything."

Tom shook his head. "If I have learnt anything about this, it is not to waste time fooling around. That's why I'm here."

Uh oh "Tom, sometimes taking time is the best thing. You wouldn't want to rush into things again would you?"

Tom shifted on the couch so he was closer to Chakotay and facing him. "If I don't take the opportunity when it is there in front of me, then I will always be alone. Maybe my relationship with B'Elanna was teaching me to grab a bull by its horn's. In a way. But I have spent a lot of time thinking about this and I know that it is what I want. I have made up my mind."

I don't like the look in his eye. I hope he isn't going to do what I think he is going to do. Hoping that Tom couldn't see what he was thinking, he looked down at his hands. Then he felt Tom's hand under his chin, lifting it up. He was barely able to look Tom in the eye before Tom kissed him. He sat there stunned for a minute, feeling Tom's soft lips caress his own. Then Tom's tongue came out and stroked the slowly parting lips. Chakotay opened his lips to tell Tom no, when the pilot's tongue swept across his lips and took possession of his mouth, enslaving him to Tom's will.

For several minutes Tom kissed his senior officer speechless. Then Chakotay remembered Harry and how much he loved him. Grasping Tom's hands where they rested against his cheek and chest, he pulled away from Tom's hot mouth. "Tom, no. We need to talk."

As if hearing the unspoken rejection, Tom placed a finger across Chakotay's lips. "Shh. Don't say anything. Just think about it. That's all I ask. Just don't say no before you've thought about it." He stood up and walked towards the door. Before the doors could open he looked back at a silent First Officer. "Think about it." Then he was gone.

Chakotay sat there for an hour, thinking about what Tom had said and more importantly the kiss Tom had given him. There was no way to deny it, Tom was an excellent kisser. He had even made him forget about Harry for minute there. But he knew that he loved Harry and that he couldn't or wouldn't jeopardize their relationship. There was no problem as to what he would tell Tom. No, the problem lay in what to tell Harry.

Oh, Harry would listen and offer his opinion on what to say to Tom, and that was fine. But Harry was also a very jealous and protective man when it came to anyone he loved. And his love for Chakotay knew no bounds. When he told Harry what had happened and he would, he couldn't be sure what Harry would do to Tom. Yes they were best friends and had been for years. But Tom had really damaged their relationship with his inability to say he was sorry for what he had said to Harry. And so he was worried about what Harry was going to do.

Checking the time, he saw that Harry would now be in his quarters, having just finished his shift. "Computer, location of Ensign Kim."

"Ensign Kim is in his quarters."

"Is he alone?"

"Affirmative."

Time to tell Harry.

---

Harry looked up when the door sounded. Seeing his lover, he crossed to his side and took him in his arms for a long kiss. Finally he pulled back and all the laughter and joy at seeing his lover was gone. "Tom kissed you." He stated, not even asking.

Realizing that Harry must have read his mind he sighed looking Harry in the eye. "Yes he did. About an hour ago. He came to see me. He started off by telling me about how he and B'Elanna have broken up. Then he told me about how he was in love with someone else but then that person said no. That's when he told me he was attracted to someone else. And then he kissed me."

Still holding Chakotay within his arms Harry just nodded his head. The Commander continued. "Before I had a chance, he kissed me. And then before I knew what was happening he was leaving, telling me to 'Think about it'. I think that I am still in shock. You won't do anything silly will you. Tom is still your friend and he doesn't know about us."

Harry smiled, and caressed Chakotay's cheek. "No I won't do anything silly. But something has to be done about Tom. I would like to find out just who Tom is in fact in love with though. Do you think you could arrange for us to bump against one another? That way I can read his thoughts and know exactly how to handle this."

"Sure. But do you have to read his thoughts? It is a little underhanded and not to mention immoral."

Harry shook his head. "No. What a person says and what he actual thinks are two different things. A person's thoughts are the only thing that is from the soul. And yes, if we are to find out a way to help Tom we have to read his thoughts."

"Fine. Lets help Tom. Before he goes and does something that could get him hurt." Together they sat down on the couch and organized their plan.

---

It was two days later that they were able to put their plan into action. They were walking along the corridor when they had spotted Tom coming in the opposite direction. Continuing their talk about a engineering project of B'Elanna's they managed to make Tom bump into Harry. They said they were sorry, and Tom used the opportunity to rub his arm against Chakotay's as well as giving him a pointed look.

Chakotay managed to stop the gasp that threatened to escape his lips, and he watched as Tom walked away. When he turned back to Harry, he saw the shocked expression that Harry was wearing. Seeing that the corridor was empty he grabbed his lover's arm and dragged them into the empty holodeck. "What? What's is it? What did you see?"

Taking a deep breath, Harry shook his head. "Baby, not only is Tom still in love with me, but he is more than half way in love with you too. And he has dreamed of the both of us together making love to him and to each other. He's given up on me, but now you are firmly in his sights. You are unattached and he thinks you kiss almost as good as I do. Oh god, what are we going to do now?" He cried out, shocked to the core by the strength of Tom's feelings towards them.

"Simple. We come up with another plan." Chakotay offered.

---

End