by Aleta Thuvis
---

This story can be rated PG-13, if it wasn't such a big deal to have two guys interested in each other. So people if you don't like the idea of two guys being able to admit their to each other, then don't blame me if you continue the story after this warning.

And of course, I have no ownership rights to Tom and Kim, or the other character that show up, that we know from Star Trek Voyager. And I'm making money off posting this.

Ok, I have the m/m warning, no money statement and summary written. . . anything else?

Well then enjoy the story!

---

"Computer, open personal log Stardate 56892.4.

"It has been a year since Voyager came back from the Delta Quadrant, and I'm still not used to it. This personal log is only one example. It's not unusual for Starfleet Officers to keep logs, even though they work at a desk, at StarFleet command. I didn't start a full personal log until. . .

I was transported by that spatial fissure, to some planet where they believed I came from their afterlife. God! What a trip that was.

That was my first, and so far the longest personal log since I had two days off after the ordeal.

"Looking back at that event, I wish I was reliving it. My life had more. . . direction at that time: To get back home. Find wormholes, fissures, advanced technology. . . anything to get home and now years later, here I am.

"Sometimes I wish I took Janeway up on her offer to stay on Voyager. I thought I wanted to stay on Earth. After all, we worked so hard to get here. I had people here: my parents and Libby. What a joke that was. StarFleet offered a position at Command. I see Libby every once a while.

"Libby had stayed single. . . as I did. We got together, but found we had changed too much. No, I changed too much. The first night we were together, off Voyager, I had a prison nightmare that terrified Libby, and me. We tried to connect. I tried to explain. But in the end I couldn't. How could I? It's like explaining to a blind person what colors are. She no longer knew me.

"I live at my own place now. It echoes painfully, with no gentle hum that my quarters on Voyager had. Even though, I still wake up, expecting to see Voyager's walls. I thought of telling a counselor about this, but I don't want that. I'll only have the same problem, I had explaining to Libby. No one will understand what I've been though. And no one will help me. . . give my life a purpose.

"Purpose? Is that really what I need? Computer end log." The computer stopped recording.

Lt. Commander Kim stood and stretched. He took off his robe, and slipped into his bed. He stared at his ceiling for a while, and managed to sleep.


He dreamed. It was dark, laughter echoed through out a chamber. At first, it was Seska, then a Kazon, The clown of fear, and finally Paris. Paris stopped laughing at him, and next thing Kim knew, he was in a death pod, unable to move a millimeter.

"Tom, please help me. Get me out." Kim begged.

Tom smiled coldly. "Do you want out? Do you?"

"Of course, I do!" Kim shouted, his panic rising.

"Then get out." Tom said and left.

The pod's door shut, and the ritualistic speeches began. Kim only heard mutterings, then the head restraints moved in, and he blacked out.


Kim woke up, wide eyed, and unable to move. He gasped, trying to remember that he could still breathe. Gradually, he calmed down and sat up.

"Shit, that was worse than my prison dream." Kim said mostly to himself.

"Computer, time."

"Time is 3:12" the computer reported.

Kim sighed. He needed to be up three hours from now. Why can't a nightmare wake him up at the time he needed to get up?, he thought. He grabbed his robe, and sat at his desk.

"Computer, display pictures, Order KimAlpha." The Computer complied, and showed Kim the Voyager command staff after the Caretaker, in order of rank, and timed duration.

Captain Janeway's picture was first. She smiled gently at him. He remembered some of their talks. She was a good captain. She was willing to get to know her crew. She returned to Voyager, sending messages to most of the old crew to join her. Commander Chatokay was next. He returned to his home to settle down. Kim looked up to the man, but never really socialized with him.

Security Chief Tuvok. Kim shook his head ruefully. Tuvok went to Vulcan as soon as he could. After all, Tuvok had family there. Interesting that Tuvok managed to get though the trip without everyone knowing when his pon farr hit. Being the security chief, he probably had something arranged so no one would notice. "Computer. Skip to Tom Paris. And hold the pic."

The computer screen changed to Ensign Tom Paris' picture. It was one of the few, that wasn't a service record. It was taken at Sandrine's, the holosuite program, right before they arrived at Earth. Tom was wearing black jeans and a royal blue T-shirt. Kim's favorite outfit. Not that Kim ever told him that. Tom was one of the few Kim didn't know exactly where he was, or doing. He was paroled, and didn't have to return to New Zealand. Kim leaned back in his chair. A few dream images floated into memory. What did Tom mean? Why didn't he help?

Kim sighed.

"Computer. Time."

"Time is 3:54"

Kim stood again, and returned to his bed. He grabbed a REM suppressor, and set it to no REM, and attached it his forehead. He knew he would have to dream sooner or later. But he had to get some rest first.


Kim stood in a dark room. At first he was content, but a nagging feeling of something being lost began to build. He tried to see, but the darkness didn't lift.

He began to search around him. He was looking. . . for something that was lost. His hands found a data pad. No, not looking for a data pad.

He cursed to himself; He didn't even know what he was looking for. He found plenty of objects around him, but every time he thought he knew he was looking for, he would find the object, and it would feel wrong.

Then he reached around for another object but he found his hand were in mittens. No, not mittens, they were wrapped in cloth, with the rest of his body. The ceremonial wrapping from that backward world! It tightened around his throat. Kim's eyes opened, Tom stood outside the death pod. Tom smirked, and pushed a button. The head restraints stilled his head.


Kim woke up, cocooned in his sheets. He nearly tore the sheets, getting out of their grip. His heart raced as he sat up and tried to catch his breath. He eyed the REM suppressor. He didn't want to use it, since it had a safety that would send a message to his doctor. And if a doctor learned that he was having trouble sleeping? Then what?

Kim sighed. He would most likely have to talk to a counselor. A cold, misunderstanding counselor.

"Computer, time." "The time is 0545."

Good, only a few minutes early this time. Kim stood and grabbed his robe. He walked over to his desk and turned his computer interface on.


"Personal Log, Ensign Kim, Dream.

"Well, I had a another dream with Tom in it. What in the hell does Tom want? On second thought, what do I want? I lost something, and then I was in the Death pod, and Tom pushed the kill button. I lost something important. But, it's not a data-pad, or anything. . . solid.

"I wish I had a contact number for Tom. Maybe talking to him would make some sense. I think I'll search out Sandrine's number. And then maybe Admiral Paris's number. . . if I can't think of anyone else to call. From what Tom said, I don't think he would let his father know where he was going, if his father cared. And why waste the admiral's time, if I don't have to?

"Computer End Log."


Kim turned his interface off, and went into the shower to start getting ready for work.

---

It was a long uneventful day at his office. Kim remembered fondly, the busy days of hiding from the Vidians, and Kazon. But the memories turned ironic when he remembered nearly every time things on Voyager got busy, he regretted his decision of not taking the desk job he had been offered.

He eyed his things to do list. Nothing on the list could be done, many of the tasks were waiting on others to give him information, and he couldn't ask people so late in the day for what he needed. So, Kim turned on his interface to find what happened to Tom.

The interface reported Tom had gone to New Zealand. He faced a parole court, and he was totally freed. Kim nodded, he knew that much. It ended there.

Kim sighed. He was glad none of his previous knowledge of Tom's whereabouts was proven wrong, but it didn't give him any leads.

Kim typed a few words into the interface. Voice interfaces were mainly only installed on ships, and in bedrooms. Voice interfaces tended to respond to every idle comment, and in a work environment who could cope with that? Sandrine's banner showed up on the interface. Then, Kim sent a command to contact Sandrine, herself.

Kim waited a few seconds for the connection to be picked up. An admiral's gopher approached his desk. She stood ramrod straight, and handed a data-pad stiffly to him. Kim looked at her, she didn't look like she was old enough for the senior year of the Academy. But then again, none of the students these days looked old enough, in his eyes.

"Thank you." Kim said politely. The girl nodded and swiftly left. Before Kim could look at the data-pad, Sandrine answered her interface.

"Allo?" She asked in a heavy French accent. Kim smiled fondly, then wiped the expression off his face. This Sandrine had no idea who he was. God! He missed the past, relaxing in the holodeck! "Um, hello. I was looking for someone, that might frequent your establishment."

Sandrine's face became hard, "Is that so? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't give such info out over a comlink." Kim sighed, "You don't understand, Sandrine. I'm looking for a friend, Tom Paris."

Sandrine gave no sign of knowing anything, "So? He owe you money?"

"No, we served together on Voyager, I was hoping to find him, so I. . . could relive old times, I guess."

"Voyager? Are you the cute Ensign Kim?" Sandrine asked, warming a bit.

"Um, yes, I am. Have you seen Tom?" Kim asked leaning forward into the interface.

"Yes, I have, petit. He visited a night here after he was released from prison. He was tight lipped about his future plans. I hope you find him. . ." Sandrine looked like she wanted to go on but didn't.

Kim sighed. Dead-end. "Well, thanks, Sandrine." Sandrine nodded and the connection closed.

Kim leaned back in his chair. He went to grab the arms, so he could lean back more, but found in his hand the data-pad that he never put down. It was probably some belated 'Welcome Home' message. . . but from an admiral?

He turned on the data-pad. It was orders: He was being reassigned to a research faculty, The Cochran Research Institute, no less. Only top warp developers were assigned there. Kim scrolled, to find any more useful information, but there was none. He was to go tomorrow to the Institute, and report to a Dr. Margoloh. Kim frowned; usually transfer orders made more sense, or at least, had some reason he could fathom when he received them. Hopefully, this transfer will be more interesting than the job he had now.

---

Kim took in his surroundings as he slowly stepped out of the transport shuttle. The building was surprisingly normal. The plain grounds were tended to, but there was no interesting floral blooming, as if the gardeners decided it would be wasted here, since these scientists would never notice. Kim inhaled, the air still smelled fresh. Funny, I still half expect the half-stale air of Voyager, when I take a breath.

Kim walked into the door and approached the front desk. He would need a security pass to get further into the building.

"Name, please," the green skinned receptionist asked dryly. She didn't look up from the data-pad she was looking at.

"Lt. Commander Harry Kim."

The girl picked up a different pad, and typed into it. A few second later, she glanced at Kim, and then looked at the pad again. "Supervisor?"

"Dr. Margoloh."

The receptionist looked up sharply, and stared at him. Kim uneasy at the attention, shifted his weight from foot to foot. She nodded and looked at her notes. "Ah yes, Mr. Kim." She picked up a handprint scanner.

"Please place your hand on the scanner," she ordered, back to a dry bored voice. Kim wrinkled his brow, "My handprints are on file."

She sighed as if she expected and heard that many times before. "This doesn't just scan your print, but also X-rays your hand and matches bone imprints. Dominion protocols, sir."

Dominion? Oh yes, the shapeshifter paranoia. Fun. The things you miss when tossed into the Delta Quadrant. Kim placed his hand on the scanner. The scanner chirped, a few seconds later, indicating it was done. Kim took his hand off the scanner, and looked at the girl. She was ignoring him, typing in something on the first datapad. "Um, excuse me, May I go?"

The receptionist looked irritated, "Yes, you are done. Dr. Margoloh is waiting for you."

"Thank you." Kim said, and turned to leave. He took a step towards a door, and then realized he didn't know where Dr. Margoloh's lab or office was.

Embarrassed, he turned back to the girl.

"Excuse me, Where will I find the doctor?"

"H5 on level 6."

Kim waited for directions to the office, but the girl had returned to her datapad, ignoring him again. Kim sighed, picked a door, and entered.


The building looked simple enough, H5 level 6 shouldn't be the much of a trouble to find. The room number is interesting, H5. I'll probably walking into a holosuite. Level 6 usually means medium security, Starfleet doesn't want just anyone walking into the labs. There could be additional security steps taken at the door.

Kim reached H5 and stopped at the door. He looked in the dark reflection of the keypad, and tried to straighten his hair. Giving up the struggle with his hair, he reached for the panel of buttons beside the door. The doors whooshed open before Harry even had a chance to punch in his Starfleet clearance. B'Elanna Torres stormed out of the holodeck. She looked very upset. She yelled, "I'm going to take a walk!" and brushed past Kim, not even seeing him. Kim realized his mouth was open, right before the doors started to close.

Kim slipped into the Holodeck before the doors fully closed. I wonder what B'Elanna is doing here? I hope the three of us are working together, we always seemed to work together well. B'Elanna was good at creating technology, and Tom was good at finding all sorts of uses for the technology, some quite unexpected. I guess I was the balance.

Kim looked around. There were numerous stations on and working. According to the readouts, they were moniotring for something specfic. He was tempted to type a few things and find out what exactly they were monitoring, but that would announce his presence. He moved on and found a few monitors sending a signal but the wavelength didn't look like it was intended to be received by any conventional means. He wondered what exactly was a part of the hologram program here. Someone coughed behind him. Kim quickly turned. Dr. Margoloh dropped his hand from his month and announced dryly, "May I help you? Ah, Lt. Kim. Ready to report to duty?"

Kim smiled, recognizing Voyager's EMH program, "Doctor! They assigned you here?"

"Indeed. As well as the brash Torres."

Kim looked around, scanning for Tom, "What about Tom?"

The doctor looked uncomfortable, "That information is in the briefing."

A burst of cold terror danced along Kim's back. Tom, the subject of a Starfleet briefing? This couldn't be good. "Ah well, let me report in and I guess I'll find out what this mess is about. Where's Dr. Margoloh?" Again Kim looked around. There appeared to be no one else in the room.

The doctor cleared his throat. "I am Dr. Margoloh."

Kim smiled. "Congratulations on finding a name! How did you come by. . . Margoloh?"

"It was forced upon me when we arrived. Apparently Starfleet needed more of a name than just Doctor."

"Starfleet named you Margoloh?"

"No, actually Naomi did. She marched up to the person taking my information and said forcefully that I was Dr. Margoloh. Then she turned to me and explained, Margoloh was backwards for hologram."

Kim smiled bigger and handed his orders to Dr. Margoloh, "Then, here you go, Dr. Margoloh.". The Doctor took the orders, glanced at them and placed them on top of a monitor. He looked at the door of the lab, with an air of expectance. The doors remained still.

The doctor sighed and started checking the monitors. Kim followed the doc, expecting the doctor to tell him what to get started on, but the doctor remained silent. "You are going to brief me, right?"

"Not until the Lt. gets back from her walk."

"Oh. Why did she storm out like that?"

"She was. . . upset to be pulled from her previous project. She was more upset at the fact that we seem to be a listening post and the fact she was reporting to me."

"Seems to be a listening post?" Kim prodded hoping to get more information about the mission they were assigned.

The Doctor set his mouth in a thin line and moved to check another monitor. "It's explained in the briefing. I spent a lot of time on it, and I'm not about to let the time go to waste by telling you before hand and then repeating it to Torres."

The doors of the lab opened. The men turn towards the door. Lt. B'Elanna Torres walked in with a cloud of thick tension around her. She had a deep frown on her face, but it lifted into a smile when she saw Harry. The cloud of tension thinned out.

"Harry!" she shouted, joyously.

Harry walked towards her to meet her halfway, "B'Elanna!"

They hugged so hard Harry could barely breathe. And when he managed to indicate that, she immediately loosen her grip and snickered. "Well, this project looks like it has more potential now that you are here Starfleet," They dropped the hug, and she turned towards the doctor. "But, if there isn't sufficient reason for me to stay here in the briefing, I'm logging a complaint and a request for a transfer back to my project."

The Doctor nodded and led them into his office. "Do what you must, Torres. Now, if we could step into my office? I have the briefing recorded on video. I would like to apologize now for the state the graphics will be in. I don't have the adequate tools here. . ."

B'Elanna growled, "Can you just begin the briefing?"

The Doctor looked hurt, but started the briefing.

The Doctor's face appeared on the viewer. "Good Morning Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, and Lieutenant Harry Kim. Our primary mission is to retrieve Tom and the warp 10 shuttle he was piloting."

Warp 10? Gods, why couldn't Starfleet leave that alone? Kim knew why. If Starfleet had a ship that had the ability to be anywhere instantaneously, then the Dominion would have no hope of conquering the alpha quadrant, as they were planning.

The Doctor continued. "Tom, along with a group of specialists, redesigned a Warp 10 shuttle." Pictures of the group and shuttle were shown. "I was on hand, for the medical side of this mission. I created an innoculation that would stop him from evolving. We anticipated no other problems and the shuttle made it successfully into Warp 10. We have not heard from the shuttle since.

"Our group tried many things to contact Tom and the shuttle but in the end we failed. Their logs and notes are open for you to examine. They recommended getting the first Warp 10 development team together. That's why you Lt. Torres and Lt. Kim were assigned here.

"We do not have a set time, as long as we produce progress reports to Admiral Goaty, once a week. We are Tom's last chance, if we do not find him, he will be reported as missing, presumed dead and all research into Warp 10 will stop. Good Luck to all of us." The briefing ended.

"So is that sufficient reason to stay with this project, B'Elanna?" the Doctor questioned.

B'Elanna glared at the Doctor. "More than sufficient. I want Voyager's logs of our Warp 10 try."

Kim nodded, "That could prove useful. What about those monitors? What are they for?"

Doctor Margoloh nodded. "I'll get Voyager's logs but I'm pretty sure they are here already. Much of the technology was based on such information, " He turned to Kim, "Those monitors are monitoring for Tom's re-entrance, but they only monitor the Alpha Quadrant. There's no way to monitor the other three quadrants safely. All Starfleet vessels are on the alert for Tom's shuttle. There are transmitters also. The previous group set them to send a Come Home message on a frequency most likely to reach warp 10.".

---

Harry bolted sitting up in bed. "Tom!"

"Please restate your request." the computer replied.

Harry ignored the computer, and concentrated in getting his breath back. His T-shirt had sweat spots under his arms and a spot on his chest. His hands shook like leaves. He gradually calmed down.

What was that about? I can't even remember what I was dreaming. He stood up and went into the bathroom. After finishing his business there, he looked into his bathroom mirror. No answers came. I usually always remember dreaming something. He brought a hand up, and removed the REM suppressor. It was good of B'Elanna to let me have this. Even better yet she rigged it so it couldn't call a doctor. Kim sighed and placed the REM suppressor on the bathroom sink. Might as well get ready for today. After all it was the first month anniversary of working on getting Tom back.

---

"Shit man, you look horrible. You Starfleet types work too hard." the shuttle driver remarked as Kim dragged himself off the shuttle.

"Thanks," Kim distractedly remarked, intending it to mean thanks for the ride. The shuttle driver shook his head and drove off.

Kim walked into the building, and to Dr. Margoloh's Lab. The receptionist stared at the stairway door that Kim used. That was one worn out officer.

Kim stopped at the door to the Lab and shook himself. We have to think of something today or it's very likely Tom will be lost. It had been a month exactly, and so far all the tricks B'Elanna knew wasn't leading them anywhere. At first the Admiral looked sympathetic, but last report he had looked stern at their lack of progress. He didn't threaten, though. This Admiral didn't go for pointing out deadlines. Deadlines. Tom is not dead. Kim reassured himself. Keep a positive attitude, Kim.

Kim entered the lab to find the Doctor and B'Elanna heatly discussing something. Kim quickly stepped to them to hear the gist, but they fell quiet. Kim tried to ignore what that could mean.

"Hey B'Elanna. I thought I was going to get here before you. When did you come in?"

"I've been here all night, Harry. Came back to the lab after I picked up some dinner," B'Elanna said in a surprisingly gentle voice.

"I thought we were dismissed to leave?" B'Elanna nodded to Harry's relief. "We were. What brings you here so early? Got an idea in your sleep?" Her voice turned hopeful.

Harry hated to crush her hope but struggled to say, "No. . . B'Elanna, I don't have any ideas."

The doctor looked at him, examined Harry with his eyes almost like a medical scanner and then turned to B'Elanna. "You see?"

A deep cold pit started to grow in Harry's stomach. "See what?" They ignored him, exchanging a glance. "Excuse me, what is B'Elanna suppose to see?"

"Harry, calm down. The doctor was just pointing out, you haven't had that many ideas. How well have you been sleeping?"

Harry narrowed his eyes, "I've been sleeping well enough. And I have had ideas. I suggested a barium scan instead of the kart scan and I've done my duties here."

"Harry Kim. You suggested that scan a week ago. Since then, you have only minor points to add which B'Elanna had covered in most cases. You've been quiet and short fused. B'Elanna has defended your case. I was merely pointing out with your arrival that I was right. You are not right. Anyone wouldn't be sleeping well with their best friend missing!"

"Harry, I told him about your borrowing my suppressor."

"What? B'Elanna, how could you! Oh, I see. I know what's going on now. You want to use me as the reason we haven't found Tom yet! You are both against me!" Kim's voice rose in volume, till he was yelling irrationally.

Harry began to back away, and towards the lab's exit.

"Computer, lock the door under authorization: Delta 4." The doctor ordered. Now only the doctor could open or close the door.

"Let me out. You won't get away with this!" Kim yelled, barely holding back the impulse to pound on the doors.

"Harry, get this through your sleepless, fogged head. We aren't your enemy."

"Sure seems like it to me." Harry muttered to himself. Damn! I walked blindly into this. I just have to make sure to keep my distance from them. The bathroom! Harry ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

"Harry! Please, let us help." B'Elanna called through the door. Harry snorted at the word help.

"B'Elanna. . . Leave him alone. Let him calm down. He'll see reason and we can. . ." The doctor said, his voice growing faint as he apparently took B'Elanna from the door. Harry yawned. I wish B'Elanna stayed at the door. . . to talk to and to help me stay awake.


Harry! Harry, please wake up." Tom's voice begged.

Harry opened his eyes. Tom was standing in front of him. Healthy and Safe! "Tom! We got you home safe!"

"No, Harry. I'm still. . . out there. You can actually see and hear me now?"

Harry nodded, several times. "Of course! Why?"

Tom sighed. "Harry, this is important. I need you to try to think because I need your help. I'm lost."

"Lost? Well, of course, you're lost. Because if you weren't lost, you would be with me." Tom stared at Harry. "Harry, please stop talking like a child. I admit, talking to you is a vast improvement over being forced to do those horrible things to you. But please, I don't know how long I can stay in one piece here."

"Tom. I can't. . . Something is pulling me away!" Harry woke up screaming, "Tom!"


This wasn't his bedroom; he was in the Doctor's office. The desk no less. B'Elanna was with him.

"Harry. It's ok. . . lay back down." "B'Elanna. Tom's lost." Harry said blearily, not quite awake.

B'Elanna nodded. "I know. We'll try to find him when you get better."

Harry shook his head. "No, B'Elanna. He said he didn't know how much longer he can manage to stay around."

The Doctor walked in, "Harry, due to the overuse of the suppressor, it's understandable that you have a few really detailed and vivid dreams."

Harry became furious. "Why don't any of you listen to me! I'm not an total idiot!"

B'Elanna frowned thoughtfully. "How long has Tom been in your dreams, Harry?"

Harry looked at B'Elanna, relieved to have some support. "I don't quite remember. But, I do mention my dreams in my personal log."

"Doctor, use your clearance, and find out when he first started to dream this."

"B'Elanna you are putting too much faith into his words. Mr. Kim is just going though a reaction. He isn't thinking clearly right now."

B'Elanna glared. "And I am thinking very clearly, Doctor. I think it's very possible Tom has found a way to communicate with us. This is Warp 10, the final frontier, if you would like. If you don't follow this lead, then you might have to answer to Tom's shade for the rest of your life."

The doctor looked dismayed at the thought of being haunted by Tom. "You are correct. Excuse me." He moved to a terminal and called up Harry's personal log.

"Harry's first recent mention of Tom and dreams are practically on the same stardate Tom launched!"

Harry smirked, "I told you so. Now give me something so I get into back to asleep."

"I certainly will not. You brought your body into this. You need to work though what you've done without medicinal help. If you don't it will be harder for you to return to your correct circadian rhythm."

Harry sat up, and looked sternly at the Doctor. "I need help. That last time I talked to Tom, he complained I wasn't being intelligent enough. It was the first time I recall having any sort of conversation with him. He needs me, Doctor."

"What do you need, Harry?" B'Elanna asked, laying a hand on his arm.

"I don't have a clue. I need. . . the dreams to be more vivid."


Harry Kim opened his eyes. He was floating in white clouds that mysteriously held him up. He had the strange sensation that somewhere, he was telling some . . . one about everything he was experiencing. He tried to ignore it,since thinking about it drew him from where he intended to go.

For one awful moment, he couldn't recall what he was looking for, but the answer came to him blissfully quick. Tom. He was looking for Tom.

Harry yelled into the clouds, "Tom!"

Tom appeared with a wince and hands over his ears. "I'm right here, Har. No need to yell."

A bubble of happiness swelled in Harry. "Tom! I'm so glad I found you!"

Tom grinned back, "Glad to be talking to you to, bud. So. . . are you all there?"

Harry started to nod rapidly, and then slowed realizing he shouldn't act like a child. "Yes. They put me under hypnosis. The doc is helping me make sure. . . I stay here for as long as it takes to work a plan out to get you home, or hopefully to get you home."

"The doc? Dr. Margoloh?" Tom asked hopefully, with a grin when he said the EMH's name.

"Yes. Our EMH. Tom, how do we get you home?"

"Actually, I'm working on it right now. Your signal is finally strong enough to set a heading to. My body isn't excatly in this realm either."

"So, since you have a heading, we'll be seeing you soon in the alpha?"

"You should, but you can't leave yet. It's not a straight heading. Is this causing any strain on you?"

Harry cocked his head, as if listening to a mental voice. "Um, I think the doc said I could stay here without too much risk to me. My body needs this. . . rest after what I've done to it."

Tom looked at Harry, "What you have done to it?"

Harry blushed. "Well, I. . . tried to go a month without dreaming. Put a suppressor on myself every night for the last month, because I didn't realize. . . I didn't realize you were trying to communicate with me."

"Oh Har, I'm sorry. You were the only one I could reach out to. You were the only one that I got a reaction from. Granted, it was a nasty reaction."

Tom shuddered. "Why did the nightmares happen, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. And I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to put you though all that."

Harry turned away from Tom. He folded his arms across his chest, almost hugging himself. Guilt began to close in on him. Tears began to form in his eyes, making the white peaceful clouds blur into one another. Harry noticed the beeping of a monitor, and it slowly grew louder.

"Harry! Harry!" Harry turned, and Tom was almost in a panic. Tom threw his arms about Harry. "Don't go. I need you."

The monitor faded away, leaving Harry in Tom's embrace. "Tom? I'm sorry. . ."

Tom shushed him. "It's ok, Harry. I still need you. Your signal is going into a lot of twists and turns. You are my yellow brick road."

"Why? Why didn't we had this problem the first time?" Harry asked.

"Harry, the first time, the whole ship was thinking about me. Granted some wanted me to get lost, and never return, but they were still thinking about me. Over 100 minds is a loud beacon out here. And then, the second time," Tom made a face, obviously remembering the evolving. "The second time, the urge to find a place to mate with, her, was its own beacon. We both tried to make it a place as close to Voyager as possible."

"No one missed you? Or thought of you? This time?"

Tom shook his head. "It was a top secret project. Not many cared to know what was going on with me. And the people, who probably tried to find out, were locked out from knowing. Some, Harry, there were some thoughts about me. But it was yours that came the most often, and the strongest."

Harry smiled a little, "I guess that makes me the person who missed you the most."

The white clouds streamed by the couple. Gradually, the clouds become shapes. Most were humanoid, some weren't. Tom returned the smile, but it froze as he apparently listened to his inner voice. "Harry."

Harry looked worried. "Yes?"

"I'm losing your signal. I'm getting closer to where you are, but there's so many. . . hard to stay focused on you."

"Just pick one and get into the alpha quadrant."

"Harry, I can't tell where any of these thoughts will lead me, and I don't want to follow the wrong jump and end up 70 years from home. . . and I wouldn't be able to jump into warp 10 once I drop out of it."

Harry frowned, listening to the doctor. "I don't have much time myself. Apparently my body wants to wake up. He's been keeping me under hypnosis. The rest is a lecture of how I should've taken care of myself."

"And gone to him, or a another doctor earlier?" Harry smiled

"Yep."

"Well, the closest I can get to your position in Warp 10, the less I'll have to travel conventionally."

Harry nodded. "What can I do?" Harry saw the cloud forms. They moved too fast to catch what species they were.

Tom frowned. "I don't know other than staying here. I have no idea what will boost your signal."

Harry shook his head. "Yes, you do. My signal is strongest when I'm thinking about you. So give me a reason to just think about you."

Tom looked at Harry like he had grown another head, but there was hope too. After all, he flirted and teased Harry all the time in the delta quadrant,and nothing came of it. "Harry. . . what about. . . what's her name? Lizz?"

Harry smiled ruefully, "Libby. We broke up. Tom. She didn't understand."

Harry sighed when he saw Tom not understand what he meant. Harry swallowed, "I had changed so much. I doubt things could've worked out even if I got back from the delta a month after we got there. She didn't understand what made me tick. We were strangers, and there wasn't a bridge to bring us back together."

"You loved her, Harry. Love is a bridge." Tom offered.

Harry shook his head. "I loved her in the past. But, I'm beginning to realize. . . someone else has my heart now. Tom, you understand. You've been through much more with me, than without me. I'm sorry about not realizing before. . ."

Tom approached Harry, shushed him and pulled him into a hug. "Don't be a dolt. If we got into a serious relationship before you got back to the alpha, the guilt of knowing that she had waited for you, but you didn't, would've eaten you inside."

Harry sighed in relief, grateful to be proven correct. Tom did understand. They embraced, and slowly began to explore each other. With a thought, their clothes cease to exist. Without giving much thought to it, the floor ceased to support their feet, and came around to support their backs.

Harry tensed remembering Tom needed his attention on his ship to pilot it.

"Tom. . ."

"What, Har?"

"Your ship. . . we can't do this. . ." Harry struggled to say.

"Autopilot Har. As long as the ship has your signal it should be all right. Relax."

"Good." The floor came around to support Harry's back. Tom began to inch down Harry's body. Harry quivered with pleasure but when Tom moved out of good touching range he called Tom back up.

"I want to touch you back. . ." Harry moaned and complained.

Tom grinned, "Sorry Harry, trust me. Let me do this for you. And when I'm back I'll be all yours to do what you want with."

Harry grinned in response, oh yes he could think of lots of wonderful things to do to his wonderful Tom, when he came home.

Shortly after that thought, Harry's universe filled with only one thing. Tom.


Harry awoke with a cry, "Tom!"

He was sitting up, on the doctor's desk, which they padded for this experiment.

There was a damp spot on the sheet they'd managed to scrounge up. Dr. Margoloh was sitting in his chair, beside the desk.

"I should write a paper about all this," Dr. Margoloh remarked.

Harry blushed deep red. "Permission to get dressed, and cleanup, sir?" Dr. Margoloh nodded and left the office to give Kim the privacy to do that.

Harry put the office and himself to right as fast as he could. After all, he wanted to know if and where Tom ended up.

B'Elanna hugged Harry once he emerged from the Doctor's office. "Good news! Tom is headed home, with full hero escort."

"Where did he drop out of warp ten?"

"Just outside Pluto. He should be earthside in a couple of minutes."

"You know the place that Starfleet will have him dock?"

"Yeah, and we better get a move on if we expect to get there before Tom."

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End