by Astarte
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Disclaimer: Paramount is God. I bow down to them while I sneak Tom and Harry out for a little fun. No money, no intended infringement.

I would like to dedicate my first slash story to Anne, for starting the PKSP and for putting up with us & to Joanne who has taken several of my past ideas and made them into beautiful stories. Much thanks to both of you.

Oh, and there isn't any sex in this. I am just not ready to try to write that. Sorry.

---

'I can't believe she dumped me, Harry."

"Yeah, and for Seven of all people!"

"What am I going to do now, Harry? I mean, I've been with just about every woman on the ship, except the Captain, and none of them are interested in anything serious with me. With this luck, I'll be alone for the rest of the trip."

//snort//"Yeah, I know what you mean." //sigh//"You know, that reminds me of a friend of mine from first year at the Academy. Her name was Jenny. That first year neither one of us got more than a few dates. A mutual friend put us together on a blind date. It was a nightmare! We both got completely tongue-tied. What a failure."

"Harry, I don't see what this has to do with B'Ela dumping me."

"I'm getting to that. So, anyway, after our date, neither one of us was interested in seeing the other at all. The next semester we ended up in Old Man Melvin's class together and got partnered for the first big project. We really hit it off, as friends. She would come to me to talk when she had guy trouble, and I'd go to her when I had problems with the opposite sex. It was great. She was a really close friend to me. I miss her."

"Harry?!"

"Yeah, so, one day after this guy dumped her she came to me and demanded that I make the weirdest promise to her. She made me promise that if, when we got to a certain age, we weren't in a relationship, we'd get married. She said that she wanted to know that she wouldn't grow old alone. Guess I can't keep that promise now, eh?"

"I'm still not sure I see how this applies to me, Harry."

"Uh, well. . . yeah. I guess it doesn't really."

"Well, thanks for trying, Har. I think I'll hit the sack now."

"Yeah, see you on the Bridge."

"Yeah."

---

"Harry?"

"Yeah, Tom?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"Sure, Tom, anything."

"Harry, if we both reach a certain age without being in a relationship, will you marry me?"

"Sure, Tom. Anything for you."

---

When Tom awoke the next morning, he only thought about his strange dream for a moment before being caught up in the daily concerns of being Voyager's pilot.

---
two months later. . .

"Sheesh! I didn't think we were going to make it through that part of space alive!"

"Yeah, it was thanks to your fancy flying that Voyager got through in decent shape. Thankfully we don't have a lot of repair work to do."

Tom flashed his best flyboy grin. "Say, Harry, lets go find the Delaney's and go on a celebratory double date!"

Harry's face fell. "Tom, I have to be honest with you. I'm really not interested in the Delaney's anymore."

"Well, alright. How about crewman Jones in Engineering? She's pretty cute."

//sigh//"No, Tom. I've already gone out with her. She's nice enough, but she doesn't have much to say."

"No, Har, she's just shy! Give the girl a chance."

"No, really. I'm not interested."

"Harry! You can't just give up on the entire female population of Voyager! What are you going to do? Be celibate for the next 60 years?"

"I don't know, Tom." For just a split second, Harry thought he saw Tom turn a little green. Neelix's food hadn't been that bad, had it?

"Uh, Har? You're right. I'm just going to get some rest. Never know which aliens we might run into tomorrow."

Puzzled, Harry watched Tom go.

"What was that all about," Tom wondered, having suddenly remembered his dream. "Why would I ask Harry to marry me? He's my best friend for chrissakes! And besides, I'm not even interested in guys! Am I? NO!"

---

"Two whole days, Harry! Two!"

"Pretty relaxing, isn't it?"

"Yup. Say, let's go to Sandrine's, shoot some pool, drink a lot and stay up really late."

//LAUGH//"Sure, Tom."

"Say, Har, will you do me a favor?"

"Sure, Tom, anything for you." Tom sat down heavily on the couch. He felt like he'd been slapped in the face. . . with his dream.

"Tom? What is it? What's wrong, buddy?"

"Oh. . . uh. . . I don't really know Har. I don't really know."

"C'mon, Tom. You can tell me. It's me, Harry, remember? Your best friend? What ever it is, you can tell me."

"Oh, Har, it's not that. It's not you or anything. It's me. I just need some time off, that's all."

"You know Tom, I'm not one to push. Usually when you tell me you're just tired, I leave it alone, even if I don't believe you. This time, though, I just can't. I'm not an idiot, you know. I've seen how you've been acting lately. The way you look at me. . . Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you in some way?"

"Oh gods Harry, no, you didn't do anything. Really, it's not you. I'm just confused about something right now."

"Come on, Tom. What is it?"

Tom saw that Harry wasn't going to drop it. He wasn't sure how to begin, but with Harry sitting opposite him, looking at him with such concern, he just couldn't keep it inside any longer. Maybe talking about it would help.

"Harry, have you ever changed?"

"What, you mean like my clothes?" //LAUGH//"Of course, I've changed, Tom. Everybody does."

"No, I don't mean change that way, just like what everybody goes through. I mean have you ever changed in some fundamental way? Have you ever woken up one morning afraid because something was going on inside you, something that was a very basic, important part of you, and it was different than the day before and you didn't understand?"

"I. . . I'm not sure, Tom. I have changed in some fundamental ways, but I don't think I ever woke up one morning vastly different than I was the night before, no. I'm not sure I understand, Tom. What has changed?"

"Oh gods. How am I even going to say this?"

"Just say it, Tom. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together."

"Oh, Harry. I wish it were that simple."

"It is."

Tom looked at Harry and could see the strong conviction in his eyes. He knew that Harry believed he would stand by Tom, no matter what, but how could Harry even imagine this? Could they still be friends?

"Harry, I. . . I think. . . oh gods. I think. . . IthinkthatIhavefeelingsforyou!" There, he'd said it.

"Well sure, Tom. We're best friends. We care about each other. I don't see how that has changed." UNLESS. . . Harry thought, and shook his head. "What are you getting at, Tom?"

"Harry, I think I have feelings for you. Not just friend feelings. Harry, I've never even thought of looking at a man that way before, and now all of a sudden I'm dreaming about a man that way, and not just any man, Harry. You."

"Tom. I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, Harry. I know you don't have the same feelings for me, and that's fine. I just don't want to lose you as a friend."

"Tom! Of course you won't lose me as a friend. You're right, I don't have the same sort of feelings for you, but that doesn't mean I'm going to run away screaming! I'm not afraid of you or something."

"Harry, are you sure? I mean, I feel so strange about this. I would understand if you didn't want to be around me for a while."

"Tom! Don't be silly. We're still best friends. Let's go to Sandrine'ss and drink a lot and play pool. C'mon, it'll be fun!" Harry flashed his best imitation of a flyboy grin and offered his hand, the way Tom so often did when he was about to drag Harry off and get them both into trouble.

"Alright, Harry. Alright."

Tom felt as if the weight of Voyager had been lifted off of his shoulders. Even though he knew that Harry didn't have the same feelings, he knew that he wasn't losing Harry as a friend. This made it much easier for him to face his feelings and accept them. Tom still wasn't sure where these feelings had come from, but they weren't so frightening to him, now that he knew Harry wasn't afraid or angry. That night, Tom slept better than he had in months.

---
three weeks later. . .

[breep boop]

"Come in." Tom looked up to find Harry standing in his doorway, dressed to kill. "Wow, Harry, hot date?"

"I hope so, but I'm not sure."

"Huh? What do you mean? Have you not asked her out yet? Better grab some flowers on your way." Tom glanced back down at the pad he had been reading, to mark his page and save it. When he looked back up, Harry had stepped fully into the cabin and was holding out a bouquet of flowers. "Those are pretty, Harry. I guess you were already one step ahead of me. Who's the lucky lady?"

"No lady. You."

Tom shook his head as if trying to get water out of his ears. "Pardon me?"

"You, Tom. These flowers are for you, and I've got two full hours of holodeck time reserved. I was hoping you'd accompany me."

"Flowers, Harry? For me? Like. . . like a date?"

"Yes, Tom. Like a date."

"But Harry, I thought you didn't have those sorts of feelings for me! You've never. . ."

"Neither had you, Tom, before this. I. . . I admit that I never thought about being with a man. My attraction to women was strong enough that I never even bothered to consider that I could be attracted to a man. But you have seen that change yourself. I haven't been able to muster any interest in women for. . . for. . . well, months now. I was a bit shocked after you told me you were interested in me sexually. It took some time to digest. I started looking through the computer, though, into reference material and into fictional romance-type stuff. I found that I was anything but turned off by what I read.

"I think that maybe, if someone like you had come along earlier and expressed his attraction, I might have been interested. Don't get me wrong, I've had a few offers from guys, now and then, but never from anybody I knew well already. Never from anybody I was already close to. I've been feeling more towards you than friendship for a while now. I thought it was just some sort of special bond that we'd developed because of our unique situation, and hell, maybe that's part of it. But I think maybe it has something to do with why I couldn't muster any interest in the women aboard. Hell, I even lost interest in Seven, once the newness wore off. That night, when you told me how you felt, something clicked. It took me some time to think about it and deal with it, but it was like you found the missing piece of my puzzle and put it in place. So, Tom Paris, would you please come on a date with me?"

For a moment Tom just looked stunned. After he confessed to Harry, he was finally able to deal with his feelings. He accepted the fact that he felt sexual attraction for a man. He even started looking around at the other men in the crew, to see if any were attractive to him. So far, he hadn't found anyone who sparked his interest, but still, he felt freer than he had in years. This, however, was a shock. He had not allowed himself to imagine, even once, that Harry could ever feel the same way about him. He figured that he'd eventually get over it and move on. He even felt happy about the fact that the number of possible dating and relationship prospects had just gotten quite a bit larger, with the men included.

He didn't know what to think. "Sure, Harry. Let me change into something a little more casual, first, though."

"Sure Tom, as long as it's those blue jeans you wear to impress the ladies with that forest green silk shirt of yours."

Tom looked up at Harry, amazed. "Sure, Har. Sure."

When the arrived on the Holodeck Tom was stunned. Harry had come up with quite the romantic setting. They were in a small valley on Earth called 'The Valley of the Moon.' On the near side of the small creek that ran through the valley was a table, set with candles, wine chilling in a bucket and covered plates. The food smelled wonderful. On the other side of the valley was a spectacular view. Tom could see the full moon begin its ascent into the sky. For the next hour or so it would ride right along the crest of the mountain, huge and beautiful, before breaking free and soaring slowly into the sky. Harry stepped forward and offered Tom the seat that afforded the best view. Removing the cover from Tom's plate with a flourish, Harry revealed one of Tom's all time favorites, eggplant parmesan, with a large salad and crusty bread sticks. He poured Tom some wine and sat down.

"Harry, I don't know what to say!"

"Tom Paris? Speechless? Hmmm. . . I may have to take you out on dates more often."

"Oh, Harry, please do."

The pair ate in silence, soaking up the beautiful view, enjoying the sound of the stream and the birds and insects of evening, and enjoying the company. After the meal, Harry took Tom a little ways away to a small gazebo he'd programmed. The view was excellent. There were comfy chairs to sit in and watch the view, with blankets to keep out the evening chill, and a bed.

Harry saw Tom look at the bed. "Tom? Don't worry. I have no intention of pushing you into anything you don't want. I just programmed it in case we wanted it."

"Oh, Harry. Come here." Tom wrapped his arms around Harry for a fierce hug. "I'm really not sure of what I'm getting into, here, if you know what I mean. I mean. . . I suppose you picked something up from the reading you said you did, but I didn't do that. I feel a little. . . afraid. It's not that I don't want to! Not at all. I'm just not sure. . . how," Tom finished in a whisper.

"Tom, don't worry. It's not that complicated but there are a few important things to know. I've done some reading, sure. I know some of the important things, but just like you, I lack experience. I won't hurt you, I promise."

Tom hugged Harry to him again, and could feel the evidence of Harry's attraction mirroring his own. Tom held on tight for a moment, getting his heart rate under control. Releasing Harry just enough to look him in the face Tom said, "I trust you, Harry."

Their first kiss was unimaginably sweet. They poured themselves into expressing their feelings through that kiss. It began to turn passionate and Tom broke away, gasping. "Harry, let's get over to this bed before I fall down!" Harry laughed and led Tom by the hand to the bed.

"Are you sure about this, Tom?"

"Very sure."

And the moon smiled over the lovers as it rose.

---

End