by Anonymous
---
This is a Paris/Kim story, rated PG-13, I think. It assumes they have been an
established couple for several months. This takes place during the
"Year of Hell" and has some minor spoilers from Part I.
This is my first such story so please bear that in mind as you read. Many
thanks to Amirin for encouragement and extremely constructive comments.
You wouldn't be reading this without her!
Let's see, Paramount owns it all; the story, the characters, the
ship, the episode, everything except most of this story. I just HAD to
write this and do not mean to infringe on anyone or anything. I just love
these characters. And love to have them love each other.
---
Walking down the darkened corridors was not easy. Emergency lighting was
not sufficient to navigate around all the debris scattered everywhere. Tom
Paris stumbled over a piece of conduit, suppressing the urge to curse at the
mess. Time and energy were not available to do anything other than the
essentials, so the rubble on the floors would just have to wait. Besides, this
was the first free time Tom had enjoyed in far too long and he did not know
how long it would last. He was intent on finding Harry Kim.
Traversing Krenim space had been a continuing nightmare and the senior
staff had carried the brunt of the load. Tom and Harry had not had very
much time together. Injuries to many of the crew meant working overlong
hours. When there was finally time off duty, all they could do was fall
asleep in exhaustion. There was not even the comfort of holding each other
in sleep. Because several decks were without life support, there were few
private quarters, nowhere to go to spend intimate time together. All of
the officers, except Captain Janeway, Chakotay and Tuvok, were sharing
quarters; ten or twelve together. Cots were placed in every available
space in a room, even double tiered where necessary. Tom had never had to
share such close quarters with so many people. The lack of privacy would
have been disturbing at any time. The fact that it separated him from
Harry made it almost intolerable.
Tom's emotional reserves were nearly depleted. He had to hold and be
held, to feel Harry in his arms. This might be the only time they had. To
make matters worse, since the internal communications system was one of
the casualties, Tom had to use precious time in tracking down Harry on his
own.
Rounding a curve in the corridor, Tom almost tripped over a pair of legs.
Startled, he stared down, realizing with relief that the rest of the body
was hidden by a wall panel. Frustrated oaths were coming from the
invisible person.
"Excuse me. Could you use some help?" he asked, not
recognizing the legs or the muffled voice.
A sudden spark and strangled yelp from behind the panel spurred him to
action. Grabbing the exposed legs, he pulled the body into the open. Out
came a disheveled B'Elanna Torres, frowning fiercely as she held her
right hand tightly with her left.
"Are you okay?" questioned Tom, trying to decide whether to
show his concern or to give in to the desire to laugh. Torres was
obviously not seriously hurt and she did make quite a sight; stretched out
on the deck, face smudged with who knew what, in a wrinkled uniform. The
concerned look won out, but he couldn't keep the twinkle from his
eyes. He reached out a hand to help Torres to her feet.
"No, I'm not all right," she growled, examining the palm of
her hand. "But I'll live. Why do we even bother? Some of these
systems are beyond repair at this point." She broke off her tirade
long enough to scowl at Tom. "What are you doing here? Don't tell
me navigational controls are out again. I'm telling you, Tom, there
isn't much more we can do to keep things running ..."
Tom held up his hands to stem the flow of words. "No, navigational
controls are not out. At least, they were working when I was relieved a
short time ago. Actually, I was looking for Harry. You wouldn't happen
to know where he is?"
"Yes, I sent him around to the next juncture to try and find which
relay is fouled up this time. He's supposed to be back by now. Can you
wait or do you want me to give him a message?"
Tom tried very hard to keep the disappointment off his face. He knew that
Voyager's survival depended on everyone working to keep things
repaired. It was just that he had really been counting on time with his
lover. He could wait and see him for a few minutes, maybe steal a quick
hug. But he needed more than that and was afraid he would not be able to
let Harry get back to work if he ever got his hands on him!
Looking down, he schooled his features into casual lines and laughed
softly. "Just tell him I'm sorry I missed him. Again. And
I'll try and catch up with him for dinner."
Silence greeted his response. Glancing up, he saw Torres watching him
with a small smile. "Come on, Paris. Don't you know by now you
can't fool me? What's going on?"
Grinning a little self consciously, he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Sorry. It's been a while since Harry and I have had time
together and I was hoping to find him free. But, that's okay.
Ship's business first." Innocently opening his eyes wide, he
said, "Maybe I could help you two find the problem and that would
speed things up. Three heads can be better than two!"
Torres snorted, not even trying to hide her amusement. "Sure. I can
see it now. Send you two off in a Jefferies tube and no one would see you
for a week. And when we did, you wouldn't be in any shape to function!
I can do this myself. Go find Harry and have some fun."
The smile slipped off Tom's face. For a moment, he didn't say
anything. Then, in a soft voice, he answered his friend. "Thanks,
B'Elanna. That means more to me than you know. But you need
Harry's help right now and I can wait. Tell him I'll be in the
mess hall when you get finished." Reaching out his arms, he gathered
Torres in for a quick hug.
Her voice muffled by Tom's shoulder, Torres said, "Tom, the
offer wasn't just for you, as much as I can see you need time with
Harry. It's for him, too. Although he's doing a good job of hiding
it, I think Harry's about at the end of his rope."
Tom pulled back a little, looking down at her with anxious eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't look so worried! Things are not that bad. It's just
that, you two spent so much time together before this 'Year of
Hell' that Harry is having trouble coping on his own. Much of his
emotional strength comes from you." Seeing Tom about to protest,
Torres placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now wait. Don't say
anything. I know he's capable of dealing with this. He's strong.
But he needs you, too. And that's okay! Harry is a fixer, he wants
everything to run the way it is supposed to. If it doesn't, he wants
to fix it. That's increasingly more impossible each day. And there is
precious little to relieve the tension. You are his safety valve, much as
he is for you. Now pressure is building up to the exploding point."
Just then, Harry Kim came around the bend in the corridor. His exhausted
face lit up when he saw Tom, then faded into a frown when he saw the serious
expressions his two friends wore. His pace quickened as he approached
them. "What's wrong? Are you two okay? Tom?"
With a huge grin and shining eyes transforming his face, Tom turned from
Torres and wrapped Harry in a fierce hug. "Everything is perfect,
now. I have missed you, Harry, so I have come to take you away from all
this!" In his exuberance, he squeezed harder.
"Whoa," croaked Harry. "I think I'm going to need
those ribs intact." As the arm pressure eased fractionally, he smiled
at Tom. "I take it Chakotay unchained you from the helm for a break.
Must be nice to have a compassionate task master," he quipped,
grinning at Torres over Tom's shoulder.
"Be nice, Harry," admonished Tom. "I just about had your
task master talked into giving you some time off. Ouch!" he
yelped as B'Elanna whacked him on his back. "What was that
for?"
"Just expressing my opinion of your sense of humor, such as it is.
Now, go on and get out of here before another disaster strikes."
Torres turned back toward the wall panel.
Harry glanced at Tom, then half turned in his arms, not willing to let go
completely. "But, B'Elanna, what about the relays? I think I
found the problem area." He held out the PADD that had gone unnoticed
in his left hand. "I had to crawl about half way in, but I found what
appears to be a short ..."
"Starfleet," interrupted Torres. "Is it all on the
PADD?" At Harry's nod, she continued, "Okay, I'll
figure it out. Just go with Tom and relax for a couple of hours. There isn't
anything that can't wait that long. If an emergency arises that I need
you for, I'll come find you. Otherwise, go. Try and forget all this
for at least a little while." The last few words sounded a little
choked and Torres quickly faced the panel again.
Harry looked worriedly at Tom, then started to move toward her. Stopping
him with a soft touch on his arm, Tom reached out with his other hand and
laid it gently on the engineer's shoulder. "Thanks, B'Elanna.
If you need us, Chakotay will know where to find us. Otherwise, we'll
see you in a few hours." With a final small squeeze, he stepped back,
took Harry's hand and began walking away.
Torres stayed where she was, not turning around as they left.
---
Tom walked quickly down the dim corridor, holding tightly to Harry's
hand, not quite pulling him along. His face was set in determined, almost grim
lines. Long legs covered more ground than shorter ones, causing Harry to
all but jog to keep up. After a few minutes and an increase in the pace,
he broke the silence.
"Tom, you're going to wear me out before we get where we're
going. I'm not going to have breath left to talk .. or whatever!"
he said, grinning.
Tom stopped so abruptly that Harry bumped into him. Catching him before
he fell, Tom laughed softly and answered, "We sure can't have
that. Maybe I ought to carry you the rest of the way, so you'll have
energy to talk." He bent down, ready to put action to his
words.
Pushing him away, Harry chuckled. "Thanks, but I don't think
that's necessary. I'll be fine if we just walk instead of race.
Where are we going anyway? We aren't headed toward the mess hall.
And why warp speed?"
Straightening up, Tom gazed at his lover for a moment, then reached over
to put both hands on either side of his head. All signs of humor left his
face, leaving behind weariness and longing. As he gently caressed
Harry's cheek with his thumb, he said, "Because I need you,
Harry. I want to hold you, feel you in my arms and show you how much I
love you. I don't want any chance of interruptions. So, we're
going to Chakotay's quarters."
Startled brown eyes met blue ones. "Chakotay's! How did you
manage that? That's one of the few private places left on board. What
did you have to promise him in return for this favor?"
Frowning slightly, Tom answered seriously, "Actually, he offered it
to me. When I was relieved earlier, he stopped me and asked if you and I
had had any time together lately. I was just getting ready to make a joke
..." He paused at Harry's soft sound of protest. "I know, I
know, speaking before my brain's engaged. But I was just surprised
that he had asked, out of the blue like that. Then I saw his expression.
He looked so serious, sad really. You know, Harry, I think something
happened between Chakotay and the Captain. And I don't think it was
good. They've been very formal with each other, almost curt. Anyway,
he offered the use of his quarters for a few hours. I didn't know what
to say. It was almost as if he would feel better if someone were
happy for a little while."
Shaking his head a little self consciously at this uncharacteristic
analysis, he glanced over at Harry. Shrugging slightly, he continued.
"What could I say but yes! Chakotay said he'd take care of things
and he'd know where to find us if we were needed. I started to thank
him but he just shook his head and turned away. So, I came looking for
you."
Harry gazed into incredible blue eyes, so full of need, desire and love.
Leaning in for a soft kiss, he murmured, "Then what are we waiting
for? We sure don't want to disobey the Commander's order.
Let's go." He set off down the corridor, pulling a laughing Tom
along with him.
---
The two young men, hands still clasped tightly together, reached the
Commander's quarters without meeting anyone along the way. Due to
another faulty system, the door had to be opened manually. Tom pushed on
the panels, allowing enough room for Harry to move through. He followed,
with the door closing behind him. The locking mechanism no longer
functioned, either, but that was not a serious consideration. Who would enter
Chakotay's quarters without permission?
Harry had only moved a short distance into the living area. Coming up
behind him, Tom pulled him into an embrace, nuzzling his neck. It felt so
good to be able to hold him, kiss him, know that they were finally alone,
even if just for a short while. The kisses continued as the pilot's
confident hands began caressing Harry's chest, moving closer to the
fastener near the neck. His movements were halted as the younger man
shifted, turning so he could put his arms around Tom's neck, laying
his cheek on the padded shoulder.
"In a minute, Tom," murmured Harry. "I just want to feel
your arms around me for a little while. It seems like years since
we've been able to do this. And I wasn't sure it would ever happen
again. So many people have been killed or injured. Every time we're
attacked and I can't see you, I keep expecting someone to come up and
tell me you've been hurt, or ..." With a slight shudder he
stopped talking, pressing himself to his lover's body. Strong,
comforting arms pulled him even closer.
"Hey, Harry. It's all right. Nothing's happened to me or to
you. Can't say that it won't but all we ever have is right now,
anyway. Let's try to forget about what could happen. Pretend this is
that holodeck program you gave me for my birthday, the one with the
fireplace and all those cushions. How the candles scented the air and the
only light came from the flickering flames. They made you look all golden
skin and dark eyes. You were so beautiful. You are so
beautiful."
As he quietly set the scene with his words, his comforting strokes on
Harry's back began to change in intensity. Moving up to familiar broad
shoulders, he pushed Harry slightly away so he could see his face. Ebony
eyes, unnaturally bright with unshed tears, locked onto his own, so
different in hue but so similar in passion.
"Harry," he breathed. "You are my life. No matter what
happens, know that you are everything to me. These last several months
with you have made all the rest of my life worth while, because it led me
to you. I want to show you what this means to me. Let me love you."
Tom bent his head, softly claiming Harry's mouth with his own. The
kiss gradually changed from gentle to firm to almost frantic. Hands began
moving, stroking, trying to pull the other body impossibly closer.
Not even attempting to get to the sofa, the two men sank to their knees
where they were. Pale hands moved from caressing dark hair to gently
stroking trembling arms. Tom wanted to touch every part of Harry and
something was preventing that. The uniform had to go and now! He began to
remove the clothes, uncovering that wonderful skin, stopping to caress
each part with fingers and lips. Harry was breathing in short gasps,
becoming lost in the sensations generated by those talented, loving hands.
He wanted to reciprocate but couldn't seem to make his body do what he
wanted. It was reacting on its own to Tom's actions.
"It's okay, Harry. Let me do this for you." Tom gently
lowered Harry to the floor, gazing at the now naked body stretched before
him. His hands fumbled at his own uniform, desperate to feel that warm
skin next to his. Soon, nothing separated the two as they wrapped
themselves around each other, oblivious to the chill in the air, creating
their own warmth, their own universe. As they made love to each other, Tom
and Harry were aware only of the heat, passion and love emanating from the
other half of their whole. The rest of the world ceased to exist for them.
Time stood still.
---
A soft noise marred the silence. A shape darker than the room moved
quietly toward the two men entwined on the sofa. A hand reached out to
touch the shoulder of the blond one, just above the patterned blanket that
covered them. The sleeper came awake slowly, blinking in confusion, trying
to figure out where he was.
"Tom, sorry I can't give you more time, but I need you on the
bridge." Chakotay whispered apologetically, giving Tom a chance to
completely wake up.
"Chakotay? Um, okay, that's okay." Still a little groggy,
Tom slowly raised up on his elbow, trying not to wake Harry. Rubbing his
free hand across his face, he asked, "Do you need Harry, too, or can
he sleep a little longer?" His eyes began to clear, indicating the
return to full awareness.
"No, he can stay here for a while. Seven is working on temporal
shields and I need you at the helm. I'm sorry," he repeated.
"You two didn't have very long in here."
Tom smiled at the Commander. "Yeah, but what we did have was worth
it. Thanks for letting us use your quarters."
The warm body next to him stirred and a tousled head looked up.
"Tom, what's going on? Is something wrong?"
"No, Harry. Chakotay needs me on the bridge. Go back to sleep.
You're still off duty." Tom gently pushed the hair out of
Harry's eyes and placed a quick kiss on his forehead. Chakotay began
to move away, giving the two a few more minutes together. They didn't
notice.
Harry's hand came up to caress a pale cheek. "That's okay.
I'm awake now. I'll come with you. I'm not ready to let you
out of my sight again." He grinned at the expression that flitted
across his lover's face. "Oh, no you don't. Time's up
and the Commander is waiting for us. One last kiss will have to suffice."
He leaned toward Tom, meaning to give him a quick kiss and get up.
However, once they began, neither one seemed to be able to break away. The
kiss deepened, going on until they finally had to come up for air. With
flushed faces and rapid breathing, they couldn't stop staring at each
other.
"Battle stations. Krenim ships approaching!"
The voice of the captain made all three men jump. "I guess
B'Elanna got the comm system back on line," gasped Harry,
as he and Tom leaped off the couch, locating and pulling on uniforms that had
been scattered about. Commander Chakotay was already through the door
and on his way to the bridge. Tom and Harry ran out behind him, leaving the
patterned blanket in a heap on the floor.
---
Reaching the bridge, Tom slid into his seat at the conn as Harry sprinted
to what was left of operations. Tuvok groped his way to his station. Everyone
was in place.
"You know the routine," barked a disheveled Captain Janeway.
"Evasive maneuvers," groused Tom, trying to coax more speed out
of sluggish engines.
The Krenim ships attacked, punishing an already battered Voyager. Her
pilot wondered if this would be the final blow. Roughly pushing that
thought aside, he just kept flying. His concentration was interrupted by
Harry's announcement of a temporal wave heading toward them. As it
passed over, Seven's reworked shields protected their ship. Tom just
had time to turn around and flash Harry a grin before the next blow came.
"A ship is closing in on us!" exclaimed Harry. "It's
huge!" He stared at Tom with fear in his eyes, then looked down at
his controls. "That entire vessel's in a state of temporal flux.
It's like they exist outside space time."
Tom turned back to his controls. He could feel Chakotay move up close
behind him. "They're scanning us." As soon as he spoke the
words, he felt the tingle of a transporter device. Before he vanished
completely, he saw Harry's horrified expression and heard that beloved
voice yell, "Tom! Nooooo!" Then everything he knew and loved
disappeared.
---
End
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