by Anonymous
---
WARNINGS:
Very minor spoilers for "Once Upon a Time". This is a scene I
created to add to the ending. There is no sex; no one even touches.
(Sorry. . . but wow . . . my first PG fanfic. . .)
---
B'Elanna sat pensively in front of the computer console in her
quarters. She rubbed her temples and then picked up the data chip in
laying on the desk. She spoke to herself, out loud, as she often did when
she was alone. She didn't concern herself about it too much; most
engineers, especially Chief Engineers, picked up a few quirks along the
way, and thinking out loud was a common one. Especially when they were
faced with something they didn't know how to handle.
Right now, that was the data chip.
"Should I?" she asked herself.
On the outside it looked like any other data chip; one of the thousands
she saw every day. But this one was different. It contained the encoded
messages Tom had made; messages created when he thought he
wouldn't survive the crash of the Delta Flyer. She planned to return it
early in the morning.
Tom had mentioned the messages during the welcome home party the
Captain had thrown on the holodeck. Mostly, he had said, he was grateful
he could erase them. "The things you say when you think your going
to die," he said, adding a trademark Paris grin. "At least I can
erase them in the morning."
At that moment, B'Elanna decided she had to find out what he had said.
She slipped away and took the chip. Now, sitting in her quarters, she
hovered between the satisfaction of indulging her curiosity and the guilt
of invading his privacy.
"Should I?" she asked again. She wanted to know what he had
said to her. What he would say to her in his final moments, unguarded and
unrestrained at last. She ached to hear the words, the confessions, the
whispered regrets. She wanted to know what he had said to the others as
well, especially Harry.
"How many fights have we had about him?"
Harry popped up everywhere. He and Tom were, or at least had been, best
friends. They used to do everything together. When she and Tom had gotten
together, she had wanted privacy, some time alone with Tom. It was
understandable, she thought. But Tom didn't see it that way. He
refused to cut Harry out of the things they did. Finally, she boiled over.
She found Harry and spelled things out for him. He was an intrusion. They
didn't want him around right now. Maybe sometime down the road, but
as a couple they needed their space. She had even lied, telling Harry that
Tom felt the same way, but was too afraid of hurting Harry's feelings
to tell him.
Harry, always wanting to do the right thing, disappeared from their lives.
He acted as if Tom meant nothing to him, that the loss of his best friend
was trivial. Even when Tom invited him to do things, Harry refused, or
said he had other engagements. B'Elanna couldn't have been more
pleased, but still. . . she wondered about how Tom felt. . . and what he
might have said to Harry in those last moments.
"Should I?"
"Yes."
Voicing her answer aloud firmed her resolve. She slipped the data crystal
into the port. The screen stirred to life, a glow rising up and lifting
the darkness of the room. She saw messages for herself, the Captain, and
Harry. She hadn't expected any more than that.
She decided to play hers first. She couldn't wait.
The screen changed to show Tom's face. She listened to him, her anger
growing. She listened to him say "hey" to her and talk about day
old pizza. She listened to him speak until the message ended. She repeated
his final words to her. . ."so long".
There were no words of affection, no statement of his love, no regrets
that they hadn't been able to spend more time together. Just talk of
old pizza and the type of goodbye you'd give someone when you
didn't care if you ever saw them again. Of course, she could see Tuvok
in the background now and then, and maybe Tom hadn't felt comfortable
expressing himself in front of the Vulcan. But then again, those would be
his last words, would he have cared what the Vulcan thought?
"This is what he was so desperate to erase?" B'Elanna said
angrily.
Then it hit her. "Maybe it wasn't my message that concerned
him."
She keyed in the commands for Harry's message, but canceled it before
it came up. In this mood she knew she'd take everything wrong,
whatever Tom said. Anything would seem romantic in comparison to the
message he had left for her.
She changed the commands and brought up Tom's message to the
Captain instead. Tom thanked the Captain for taking him out of prison, for
trusting him, for letting him fly again. It was exactly what B'Elanna
would have expected. The only surprise was a request from Tom to deliver a
message to his father for him, a message that Tom regretted not being able
to come home and set things right.
Now, only Harry's message was left. She looked at the size of the
message and saw that it was the shortest of the three. What could Tom have
said that was so important to erase?
She brought up the message and once again saw Tom's face appear
on the screen.
"Harry," Tom whispered.
Already, Tom had more emotion on his face that he had during the previous
messages. The Paris grin was gone, his face showing the pain and despair
he felt. B'Elanna had seen this unguarded face several times, never
directed at her -- only directed at Harry.
Tom said nothing for a few seconds, just staring into the camera. His face
was taut with strain, with worry, and with regret. The face she had
expected to see when she opened her message.
"Harry," he said again.
B'Elanna paused the message, struggling to get her feelings under
control. When Tom said Harry's name, just his name, it sounded like he
actually saying so much more. Of course, he had only said his name, but
the tone, his face, it all expressed so much more. She took a deep breath
and continued the message.
B'Elanna was startled to see a single tear escape Tom's eye and
slide down his face. He wiped it away quickly, glancing over his shoulder
to see if Tuvok or Samantha had seen it.
Tom leaned forward and in a voice said something just above a whisper.
Something B'Elanna had heard said before in stories they told. Tom
whispered, "This man is my friend. No one touches him." Then
another tear, also hastily wiped away, and the message ended.
It had been said with such depth, such purpose. B'Elanna knew much
more had been said, much more. It had said "I'll miss you"
and "I'll always be with you" and "No one else has
ever meant so much to me".
Most of all, it said "I love you".
B'Elanna turned off the computer console, the light from the monitor
flickering out, leaving her in the darkness with her tears.
---
End
|