by AgentStarlight
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Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount, but the plotline is all mine!

Feedback much desired!

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Harry stood on the holodeck chained in dark grey shackles. The knot of nervousness in his stomach tightened, and the black and white scene of Chaotica's realm around him wavered a bit. He swallowed the feeling that rose in him that something was wrong.

'God, Harry!' He thought to himself harshly. 'Can't even enjoy a holodeck program with your best friend without being uptight?' But then, B'Elanna had warned him that Tom wasn't acting like himself lately. Being chained to the holodeck with nobody to save him except Captain Proton was just a tad disturbing. Then the young ensign snapped out of it, remembering his line.

"You'll never get away with this, Chaotica!" Right after the words left his mouth, Harry saw the side door hatch slide open, and Tom entered in a plume of steam and smoke. Just as dramatic as ever, chewing his gum, giving his helpless friend a cocky grin, a ray gun extended from his hand.

"Enjoying yourself, Buster?"

"It's about time you showed up!" Harry hissed.

"Captain Proton!" Chaotica sneered.

"Of course! Who were you expecting, Superman?" Tom snickered, suddenly pulling the trigger and blasting the chains from Harry's shackles.

"Watch it! I don't wanna lose a hand!"

"The safeties Har, remember?" Tom taunted. "I think we need some excitement around here, this is growing boring."

"Tom?" Harry asked questioningly.

"Computer, initiate program Paris 69-Alpha, and activate privacy locks, authorization Tom Paris only." The computer beeped in response, and the scene materialized from the old fashioned black and white to a big sandy beach, spread under a night sky filled with stars, which were the only other occupants, besides a few seashells.

Harry looked down to see that his attire had been changed, along with Tom's, to a casual T- shirt and jeans. Only the sound of small waves slapping the sand could be heard, until Harry cleared his throat nervously.

"Uh, Tom? What's this all about?"

Tom just glanced at his friend with a hint of annoyance, and continued to gaze at the choppy water for several seconds before answering. "Harry. . . I had to bring you here. I had to show you now, because I made this one just for you, my friend." Tom's voice took on a strangely cheerful turn, and he slapped his arm over the young man's shoulders before he could react. "See. . ." Tom continued. "I noticed how much time we've shared together lately, and how much closer we've gotten. . . I was curious, if you felt the same way?"

Harry was stunned silent, the arm over his shoulders was too heavy, and the skin against his neck was hot. He walked dazedly beside the older man, his head spinning. The familiar knot of dread tightened again, harder to ignore even through his racing thoughts. "What's this about Tom?" he choked out, his voice tight with concern.

"Harry, Harry, Harry. . . Do I have to spell it out? I love you!" Tom's words made Harry stop dead in his tracks.

"What?!?!" The young Asian cried, shocked. Tom spun him around, gripping his arms tightly enough to make him flinch.

"Listen to me, Harry! I knew you wouldn't understand! There's no way you could!" The lightning flashing in his eyes burned Harry to the core, making him feel totally exposed.

"You're not Tom. . ." He said flatly. "Tom wouldn't do this! Tom loves B'Elanna!"

"No, Harry! B'Elanna was just an excuse, a cover up. . Because I love you!" When Harry didn't reply, the pilot pressed his lips against his friend's forcefully, his grasp on the frightened young man's arms making resistence difficult. But then Kim twisted his face away before Tom could plunge his tongue inside. Paris growled roughly and slapped his captive's face hard.

"Fine! You want to be difficult, you've got it!" He spat, pushing Harry to the ground. He kicked the trembling figure as hard as he could half a dozen times, stopping only when the whimpers died down. Reaching down, Tom grabbed the battered man by the hair and turned him over. A trickle of blood came from his mouth and nose. Tom cursed, knowing there must be a punctured lung.

"Harry. . . You know I don't want to hurt you. Please, don't fight it. . ." Tom said softly, wiping away the blood gently. Harry groaned and gasped in pain, now barely conscious.

"Go to Hell. . ." he said in a strangled whisper. Tom grew furious, rage flying from his eyes. He shoved Harry's face in the sand and started ripping off his shirt, the buttons flying in all directions. Then he stripped his captive down to his underwear before he started to regain consciousness.

"I will have you, Harry! You're mine!" The older man growled, towering over a naked, smooth skinned ensign. "Finally. . ." Harry tried to curl up protectively into a ball, but Tom jammed his knee into the smooth, strong back, forcing his captive to remain face down on the sand. "Now, now. . . This won't do at all." Tom growled, holding Harry's wrists behind his back. He used one of the shirts to tie them in place, and flipped the young man over, working to pull off the last meager piece of clothing. Harry took advantage of the opportunity, and swung his leg up, kicking his attacker in the side of the head, knocking him down for just a moment.

Harry struggled to his feet, but barely got upright before Tom charged him, knocking them both down, close to the water. Their legs tangled, and their feet were brushed by the cold waves. Harry felt fingers tangle tightly in his short black hair, and before he had a chance to do anything, his face was forced into the receding water. His struggles lasted only a few seconds, as the oxygen in his one undamaged lung diminished too quickly. His heart pounding in his chest painfully, he heard a voice from far above him, full of regret and anger.

"Harry, don't fight it! Please! You have to understand!" With that said, Tom pulled his friend's head out of the water, leaning down to his ear, he growled, "Tell me you understand. . ."

Harry caughed and choked on the blood and water in his throat, trying to breathe the much needed air before he spoke. "I. . . Understand. . ."

Tom turned Harry over again onto his back, and lowered himself down onto the young man's legs, leaning over and gazing into the fearful, dark chocolate eyes for a moment before lowering his head. Harry felt warm lips trailing down his neck and collarbone slowly. When he felt Tom sucking on the soft flesh over his shoulder, he shuddered and squirmed slightly. But something began to stir deep inside him, and it wasn't fear or pain or anger. His ribs hurt even more with Paris' weight on top of him, but the older man still continued to explore his chest with those warm, wet kisses. Harry gave a sharp gasp when he felt that hot mouth close over one of his dark brown nipples, and being teased with Tom's teeth.

"Tom, stop. . . Please!" Harry moaned, twisting and squirming with pain. But the stirring that was growing inside him was becoming too much to ignore. Growing into a fire that burned with passion.

Tom lifted his face when he felt Harry's erection growing against his back. "You feel it too, hey Har?" Ensign Kim felt a pang in his heart upon hearing the same cheerful, gentle tone of voice that his best friend always used. But he knew, it would never be the same. Tom grasped his friend's face firmly with one hand.

"Tell me you feel it!" He demanded. Harry just offered a small nod in response, not able to make himself say it. "Tell me what you want me to do, Har. . ." Tom ordered again. When Harry only replied with a look of confusion, his captor let go of his face and closed a tighter grip around his throat, making his tear filled brown eyes widen even more. "Tell me you want me to fuck you!" The words that assaulted his ears made Harry light headed, but he knew if he didn't answer, he would pass out from thepressure on his throat.

"I. . . I want. . . You to, Tom..." He choked out, helpless to do anything more to loosen the death grip on his throat, almost welcoming the approaching blackness.

"To what?" Tom asked passively. Harry had to reply, to get the other man off him.

"Fuck me. . ." He whispered roughly. When the hand at last released him, a tear escaped and slid down the soft, tan cheek into the wet sand.

Paris stood and took off his own underwear before he began stroking Harry's erection.

"Tom, don't! This isn't right!" Kim cried softly, his struggles weakening.

"Harry," Tom gasped heavily, his tongue trailing along the smooth, hairless skin of the young man's abdomen. "This couldn't be more right. Just. . . Let it happen. . ."

Ensign Kim closed his eyes in defeat, but also because he found it incredibly difficult to sustain the moans of pleasure that threatened to escape. "I love you so much. . ."

Tom continued between kisses. "Harry, you're so. . . So beautiful. . ." A sigh escaped Kim's lips as he felt the tongue trailing down the quivering stomach muscles, loosening the knot of fear inside, and continuing along the side of his hip. Then his breath caught in his throat when Tom's mouth at last closed over his erection. When Harry bucked his hips at the sudden warmth of the contact, Tom's face flushed in joy and growing desire.

Not being able to wait any longer, the lieutenant flipped his captive over and undid the bonds, making Kim get on all fours. The young man only quivered with dread, because he had never been with a man before. He felt humiliated and exposed, with his ass in the air for Tom's taking.

"Computer, one tube of lubricant." Tom said huskily, still holding the ensign's hips, until he was sure the man would stay put. Harry felt some movement behind him for a moment, and then hands caressing his butt. He was just about to speak, but then the sudden plunge of two fingers inside him stopped the words from ever coming out. The ensign had to choke back his sobs as the fingers probed forcefully, brushing his prostrate gland over and over.

Harry lowered his head into his hands, trying to restrain his cries and the sickness that welled up in him, but tears still trailed down and fell from the tip of his nose. As the force of the pummeling wore on, Harry felt his broken ribs shift painfully, sending a searing pain through his side. He nearly fell over from the weakness the pain caused, and his strangled cry seemed to startle Tom for a moment. But the older man just pulled him back up without a word, and Harry obeyed, squeezing his eyes shut tightly with effort. This time Tom started with three fingers, making the ensign draw in a tight, hissing breath.

"You're a virgin, Harry." Paris finally spoke. "But now it's time, and I'll be the first one to take you. You can finally feel what I once felt. . ." With that, Tom slowly eased his hardened shaft into Harry, releasing a deep breath. Once he was all the way in, Tom leaned over and grabbed the ensign's left arm, twisting it behind his back. "I love you, Har. . ." Tom's hot breath blew in Harry's ear, making his heart skip. He could feel Tom filling him, and it seemed to open up a longing he never knew existed. A desire that was so strong, it couldn't be ignored, and it demanded to be fulfilled. Despite the situation, Harry Kim was quite aroused.

For a minute, Tom was still, and the only sound that was heard were the small waves lapping at the shore, and both the men breathing heavily. Then Tom spoke again.

"Harry, I'm going to make you beg for it. . . I know you will." His captive shivered at those words, and he laughed. "Tell me you love me, Har. . ."

After a moment of silence, Kim said in a very soft but strong voice, "I do, Tom. I love you so much. . . I just wish we could do this right. . ."

"Do you really, Har?" Tom asked softly, then said, "I wish I could believe you. . ." Tom ran his hand up and down Harry's thigh, and trailed his tongue up the silky smooth skin of Harry's shoulder and neck, then in the crevices of his ear. The young man shivered with pleasure, and opened his mouth to respond.

"Tom, you can trust me. I do love you, and now I regret never telling you. . . I don't want our first time to be like this. You're hurting me, Tom. . . My ribs are broken. . . Please, can't we do this right. so we can both enjoy it?"

Tom laughed, but it held a lot of concern and uncertainty. "Har, this is the best feeling I've ever had. And this is the way I love you. . . It's the only way I know. . ."

He released Harry's arm, and lay out on top of him, wrapping his arms around, teasing one of the young Asian's nipples, which were already partially erect, and grasping his dick with the other hand, stroking it slowly, and making him tremble and gasp. Tom's own erection was still throbbing inside Harry's virgin hole.

"Tommmmm!" Harry moaned, the sensations of all three stimulated areas assulting him beyond comprehension. He'd never felt anything like it. "Tom, please!. . . Please, faster!" He panted.

Paris laughed in passionate joy. "If you insist, Harry. . ." He wrapped his arms down around Kim's, and grasped the slender wrists tightly, before pulling back a little and entering him again with a hard, quick thrust. Harry screamed and both of them nearly came right then, so Tom continued with slower thrusts, stretching their climax out longer. Their pants and moans and incoherent murmurings reverberated through the holographic night. The pain in Harry's chest and sides dulled to an ache that was nearly drowned out by all the other sensations assaulting him.

"Tom. . . Oh, God Tom! Faster! Pleeeeeease. . . More, faster. . ."

"Can't, Har. . . Lasting, longer. . . For you. . . My sweetheart. . . Love you. . . I'm sorry. . . So sorry, Har. . ."

"No, Tom. . . I wanted. . Love you. . . Like this. . . Only, not. . . It's okay now-" With these last words, Harry came with a shout, and Tom followed right after, exploding into his best friend. Before he could even finish trembling from release, Harry collapsed under him, and Tom rolled off, panting.

"Har, that was. . . You are so perfect. . . Love you, Harry..." Tom gasped, wiping the sweat from his eyes. It was when there was no reply that Tom realized with a shock of dread that something was very wrong. He turned to find the young, battered man laying perfectly still, not trembling or panting, as he was.

"Shit! Computer, end program!" He shouted, kneeling beside Harry. The darkness of the beach dematerialized, and he felt his heart jump to his throat when the light came and illuminated a battered, bleeding ensign.

"God, Harry! Please wake up, Har!" Tom cried, checking for a pulse and finding a faint, erratic beat. But the young man's chest was still. "Paris to sickbay, medical emergency!"

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"Mr. Paris, explain this!" The EMH shouted angrily while he ran a medical tricorder over the naked, battered ensign Kim. The young man's face and hands had turned deathly pale, and blood trickled from his mouth and nose.

"Um, we- I mean. . . I was. . ." Tom stammered, not moving his eyes from Harry's lifeless face.

"Now! Quit stammering and explain, or I will call security up here in a second!"

"It's my fault! We were a little too rough. I mean, I was. . . I didn't mean to really hurt him! Is he okay?" Tom cried in a genuinely worried voice. He stood erect beside the biobed, gripping the side until his knuckles were white.

"Don't concern yourself," The Doctor spat angrily. "He will live. Lucky for you. I can't know if Mr. Kim will want to file a rape report until he re- gains consciousness. For now, I think you should remain here until Lieutenant Tuvok arrives."

"Please, Doc! I want to stay and make sure Harry's ok. Please?"

"I can treat Mr. Kim perfectly well without your attendance. You have commited an act of rape, and will be properly detained! Please step away, I need the room to treat him." The Doctor cut between Tom and the biobed, administering another hypospray, and running another scan of the now trembling figure. Tom looked about ready to fall to the floor crying, but he remained silent. He didn't even protest when Tuvok came and reprimanded him, dragging him off to the brig.

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Tom wasn't sure how long it had been, but he knew it was the next day. He held the data padd in his hand, again going over the readings displayed on it. The Captain had made him read the reports of Harry's condition and injuries. She had also decided to keep him in the brig while she went over what happened with Harry. The padd listed close to a dozen injuries, including two broken ribs, a hairline fracture to the nose, a sprained wrist, punctured lung, broken tooth, and torn rectum. Tom felt such a deep hate towards himself, he was not even thinking of ever getting out of the brig. If it were up to him, he'd keep himself locked up for life. His best friend! He'd raped his best friend. . .

For the third time in one day, Tom hung his head and cried.

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Harry groaned in pain and opened his eyes as slowly as he could, thinking it might make the headache assult a bit less painful. Blinking away the fuzziness, he wasn't surprised to see the Doctor looking down at him.

"Ah, you're awake, Ensign. How do you feel?"

"Like shit." Harry replied, moving to sit up. The Doctor was about to push him back down, but before he could, Harry fell back, gasping from the searing pain in his side.

"As you must have now noticed, you suffered several mild injuries, one being two broken ribs on your right side. I recommend you stay still for the next twenty four hours, until the bones are fully healed." The Doctor explained smugly. "And, if you are feeling up to it now, Lieutenant Tuvok has some questions for you regarding. . . The source of the injuries."

Harry sighed slowly in frustration and worry, but nodded anyway.

A moment later, the sober Vulcan stood beside Ensign Kim's biobed with a data padd in hand. "Ensign Kim, I must first ask you if you wish to press formal charges against Mr. Paris for sexual assault."

Harry closed his eyes for a moment in thought, then shook his head and opened them. "No. . . I don't think so."

"Alright. Please tell me, did Mr. Paris rape you?"

Again Harry was silent a moment. "Yes. . . I mean- No. . . I wouldn't say that."

"So this was consensual?" Tuvok asked, raising an eyebrow. When Harry didn't reply, he asked again, "The injuries weren't consensual, but the sexual assault was?"

"Yes. . . It was," Harry said, silently swallowing hard. "I didn't try too hard to stop him," he lied.

"But under the circumstances, you could not have stopped him anyhow. He clearly had the advantage. Correct?"

"Yes, but. . . I don't want him to get in trouble for this. It was me, too."

"Mr. Paris recieved no injuries. You, on the other hand, were severely injured as well as violated. Yet you wish not to press charges?" Tuvok asked, clearly suspicious.

"No, no charges."

"Very well, then. I hope you are soon feeling well again. Doctor." Tuvok said, nodding, then turning and leaving the room. Harry closed his eyes and sighed again, hoping his friend would be okay.

---

Tom looked up when he heard Captain Janeway's voice ordering the force field be lowered. "Tom, get up." She said in a hard voice, as cold as Tom's spirit felt. She stared at him just as coldly for a moment, then said, "Lucky for you, Harry decided not to press charges. Frankly, I can't figure out why. He is your best friend. Why did you do this to him? Got bored of your usual pleasures?" Janeway's words hit Tom like a slap in the face. A very hard slap.

"Ma'am. . . I'm sorry. Is he okay?" Tom asked in a quiet, ashamed voice.

"You can go see for yourself. If Harry lets you near him, anyway." With than, the Captain stormed out, leaving Tom with a very embarrassed crewman near the brig.

---

Tom paced outside Harry's quarters, contemplating whether or not to ring for him. He hadn't been this nervous and sick to his stomach in ages. Finally, he took a deep breath and decided, the sooner he got it done, the better. Just a second after pressing the signal key, he heard Harry's voice inside calling for him to enter. The doors slid open to admit him inside. The lights were set at half illumination, and Harry lay across his couch, sipping from a mug, a leather bound book in his hand.

"About time you showed up." Harry said suddenly, making Tom's heart skip. After a minute of silence, he said, "You don't have to apologize, Tom. Although, the intense pain and three days in sickbay wasn't the best part of this relationship. I hope I passed the initiation, 'cause I'm not doing it again." With this, Harry closed the book and glanced amusingly at his friend's shocked look. "You're gonna be stuck with a flytrap, you stand there like that much longer."

Tom snapped his mouth shut, and blinked nervously. "Uh. . . Um, you- You're not mad? You don't hate my guts because of this?" he stammered.

"I don't hate your guts. I hate the way you decided to come about this, telling me you loved me, that way. There are much less painful ways, and I still don't know why you did it that way."

"Well. . . Me either, Har. I- I don't know what to say. I AM sorry for this. . . Could you ever forgive me?"

Harry sighed. "I suppose I could. As long as we agree to no more violence in this relationship."

"Relationship? You mean. . .?"

"Yeah, Tom. I still love you. Nothing can change that. Everyone has a weird side."

"Oh Harry!" Tom cried, running to his friend, and falling into his arms in broken sobs. "I'm so glad. . . I don't know how. . . I mean. . . I love you, Harry!" His voice was muffled by his face being buried in the ensign's neck, but Harry's smile showed that he understood Tom's broken words clearly. Closing his eyes, one tear slid down his cheek. "I love you too, Tom."

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End