Joe\u00a0Flanigan\u00a0and David Hewlett at Chicago Stargate Con, August 28, 2010<\/p>\n
Key<\/span><\/p>\n J \u2013 Joe<\/p>\n D – David<\/p>\n J\/D or D\/J \u2013 spoken at the same time (and I could make them both out)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 person asking the question<\/p>\n A \u2013 audience member(s) shouting stuff out<\/p>\n – \u2013 if the line ends with one of these, the speaker got interrupted.\u00a0 If the sentence was continued, it will start with\u00a0one when it resumes<\/p>\n … \u2013 the speaker trailed off<\/p>\n (indistinct) \u2013 I couldn\u2019t figure out what they said.\u00a0\u00a0If you know, let me know.<\/p>\n [words\u00a0in brackets] \u2013 I took a guess.\u00a0\u00a0See above<\/p>\n They are introduced by Adam (I think his name is) accompanied by video, and come onstage.<\/p>\n David – Yet again proving that anyone can look good in slow motion.\u00a0\u00a0I think I should just always be in slow motion \u2013 it work for me.\u00a0\u00a0How\u00a0d’ya\u00a0like Joe\u2019s jeans?\u00a0\u00a0(whoops\u00a0and hollers as Joe stands up to model them)\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, yeah \u2013 this is what he says, he says.\u00a0\u00a0I say, \u2018Hey, those are cool.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0And he\u00a0says,\u2018Yeah.\u00a0\u00a0You \u2026 never wash them.\u2019<\/p>\n Joe \u2013 I learned that from Jason.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s true.\u00a0\u00a0Is his microphone louder than mine?<\/p>\n D \u2013 No, it could be my voice<\/p>\n J – (low)\u00a0\u00a0Naaooow<\/p>\n D \u2013 I will go back\u00a0in\u00a0(indistinct)\u00a0\u00a0go\u00a0back in (indistinct)\u00a0for\u00a0that<\/p>\n J \u2013 Well, um,\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0hope that, that when you guys come and ask questions, that you ask David a few questions\u2026<\/p>\n (crowd\u00a0snickers at David, who\u2019s rocking his chair front to back)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Does your chair feel like it\u2019s\u2026<\/p>\n J \u2013 It does, it always feels that way.\u00a0\u00a0And it\u2019s not just the alcohol.<\/p>\n D \u2013 They like to make us feel slightly nervous about our personal safety at all times.<\/p>\n J \u2013 You know, I\u2019ve actually tried to wonder what the history of the chair is, because only in the movie business do they have a chair that stands up like this.\u00a0\u00a0My guess, it\u2019s hair and makeup \u2013 what do you think?\u00a0(pause)\u00a0\u00a0Right?<\/p>\n D \u2013\u00a0Yeaah.<\/p>\n J \u2013 They can\u2019t bend down.<\/p>\n D – (in Bill Murray’s\u00a0Caddyshack<\/em> character’s voice)\u00a0So we went and saw David and Joe.\u00a0\u00a0And Joe was telling us about the history of the chair.\u00a0\u00a0Basically, it dates back to the time before chairs when people wanted to sit on things that were more comfortable than rocks<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0Ah, the chair.<\/em><\/p>\n J \u2013 And on\u00a0that<\/em> note.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I really hope people have good questions for us.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Cause\u00a0you know we\u2019ve got terrible answers for you.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Should we answer a question?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Or we could just ask questions.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, oh, hey, David\u2013<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah!\u00a0\u00a0I love it here.<\/p>\n J – -What was it like working with Joe?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Ah, well, the key to working with Joe was to stay out of the shadow of his hair.\u00a0\u00a0Or in it, depending on how\u2026<\/p>\n J \u2013 (looks to his right to answer a question)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Angle yourself to look like you had the hair.\u00a0\u00a0 (gets\u00a0in between\u00a0Joe and the questioner)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Don\u2019t interrupt David when he\u2019s talking.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Does it look like I have Joe\u2019s hair right now?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hi, guys.\u00a0 (Q is nakedwesley)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 We\u2019d like to congratulate\u00a0Joe\u00a0on his Twitter actor of the month.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Thank you, but I\u2019m more interested in who was the runner up?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 We have something for you guys.\u00a0 (holds it out.\u00a0 Joe, eagerly, and David, reluctantly, go to collect)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, this is awesome.\u00a0\u00a0I love awards.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I don\u2019t like awards<\/p>\n J \u2013 The Twitter actor of the month – yes!\u00a0\u00a0(lifts\u00a0it like a touchdown dance)<\/p>\n D \u2013 (accepts his award from mercury973 and examines it)\u00a0 I got a running award!\u00a0\u00a0I got a runner, runner award up.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Cue music.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (imitating\u00a0Joe) Oh, David, what\u2019s this Twitter thing?\u00a0\u00a0David, do you do this Twitter thing?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, I didn\u2019t know what Twitter was \u2018til\u00a0about three weeks ago.\u00a0\u00a0And now I\u2019m Twitter actor of the month!<\/p>\n D \u2013 And I\u2019m his helpful sidekick again.\u00a0\u00a0Everything I do, it\u2019s always \u2018Joe\u2019s little sidekick\u2019.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I think that\u2019s cute.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s good for running, running up.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 (motions for, gets, and examines\u00a0David\u2019s award)<\/p>\n D \u2013 That\u2019s a nice running award.<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u2018Runner up\u2019, ooh.<\/p>\n D \u2013 How\u2019s\u00a0that<\/em> going in my carryon?\u00a0\u00a0They won\u2019t let me have nail clippers, but\u00a0I\u00a0\u00a0can\u00a0attack someone with, like, an angel.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (making\u00a0stabbity\u00a0motions) I\u2019m taking control of this airplane!\u00a0\u00a0Chee!<\/p>\n D \u2013 Fly this plane to somewhere warm!<\/p>\n J \u2013 So, uh, well.\u00a0\u00a0thank\u00a0you for my, my uh \u2013<\/p>\n D \u2013 Statue<\/p>\n J – It\u2019s going next to my\u00a0bmx\u00a0trophy that I won when I was ten years old.\u00a0\u00a0I think that\u2019s the last thing I won.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Why don\u2019t you put it next to that Peoples\u2019 Choice award?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, yeah.\u00a0\u00a0Btw, you know – we\u2019re supposed to share that thing.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Do I have custody this month?<\/p>\n J \u2013 You can.\u00a0\u00a0We\u00a0do<\/strong> have a Peoples\u2019 Choice award, which is this wonderful (draws the shape in the air \u2013 is drowned out by crowd hooting)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Remember 5 years ago when we won a People\u2019s Choice award?\u00a0\u00a0Weren\u2019t we great?<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0Ya\u00a0know, that was the\u00a0one year\u00a0that they didn\u2019t have the awards ceremony.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah.<\/p>\n J – There was some, strike, or something like that?\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, it was a strike of some sort.<\/p>\n Audience member \u2013 terrorist<\/p>\n D \u2013 What was that?<\/p>\n A \u2013 Terrorist attack<\/p>\n D \u2013 No, it wasn\u2019t the terrorists.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019d like to think it was that important, but it was something like, someone was on strike and they didn\u2019t want to write something<\/p>\n A, then J\/D \u2013 the writers\u2019 strike.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Duh, you\u2019d think I could\u2019ve figured that one out.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah,\u00a0there\u2019s..it\u2019s\u00a0a writer issue.<\/p>\n J \u2013 They were writer\/terrorists.\u00a0\u00a0So\u2026should we go this way?\u00a0\u00a0(looking\u00a0right)<\/p>\n D \u2013 We went that way first<\/p>\n J – Oh, we have to go this way.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Hey, how\u00a0ya\u00a0doing?\u00a0\u00a0(David waves at the bypassed questioners).\u00a0\u00a0You wore your stripes, too, I see.<\/p>\n Q\/J\/D \u2013 hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 A lot of your \u2013 this is for\u00a0Joe, I\u2019m sorry, David.\u00a0\u00a0(David hangs his head.\u00a0\u00a0Audience awws.\u00a0 Joe gets up)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s okay (hands David his trophy off the floor) Here\u00a0ya\u00a0go, David.\u00a0\u00a0(David weakly waves it around as a staffer brings them water in goblets.)<\/p>\n D- Thank you (talking into the award)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Joe, a lot of your\u00a0castmates\u00a0do an impression of you.\u00a0\u00a0I wonder if you do an impression of any of them?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (in squeaky Joe voice)\u00a0\u00a0We-ell\u2026<\/p>\n J \u2013 I didn\u2019t realize that I had a high, squeaky voice, but, um-<\/p>\n D \u2013 You\u00a0don\u2019t<\/em>, that\u2019s the funny thing, but for some reason everybody always does a high, squeaky voice-<\/p>\n J \u2013 (grunts three or four times) I mean, we know who that is, right?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Sorry, I just thought you were having some issues.\u00a0\u00a0I thought maybe it was the pizza.<\/p>\n J \u2013 That could either be Jason, or it could be David after lunch.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s hard to tell. Um, no..<\/p>\n D \u2013 Jason, Jason was the (looks up as if startled) \u2018Hm? Oh? Sorry, what?! Uh, line?\u2019 \u2018Jason, you don\u2019t, you don\u2019t have a line.\u2019 \u2018Oh.\u00a0\u00a0Sorry.\u2019 (drops\u00a0head back down)<\/p>\n J \u2013 One time Jason even had his guitar – he would bring his guitar to set, and \u2013 we were shooting, and he kept playing the guitar.<\/p>\n D \u2013 He was working [in O\u2019Hare?]<\/p>\n J \u2013 It was hilarious. \u2018Huh? What?\u00a0\u00a0I..\u2019<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u2018No, I.\u00a0\u00a0He would be doing this!\u00a0\u00a0You \u2013there\u2019s\u00a0a problem with that?\u00a0\u00a0He could be like, he\u2019s a, he\u2019s a musical people.\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 So, yeah, I \u2013<\/p>\n D \u2013 Have you- have you seen him? Recently?\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s cut!\u00a0\u00a0Like, he\u2019s like\u2026<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, I was just in Dublin with him.\u00a0\u00a0We, we raised hell.\u00a0\u00a0Probably why the\u00a0Irish\u00a0are a little bit scared of us.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m pretty proud of that.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I wonder why.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Now, we had a good time.\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s in Belfast, and I was shooting in Dublin, and he came down like, like the Vikings from the north, and uh, yeah.\u00a0\u00a0We made an indelible impression on the Dubliners, I think.\u00a0\u00a0And, uh, had a really good time, but um, yeah, so, I don\u2019t know what else to say.\u00a0\u00a0(grunts) (as\u00a0Jason) We had a good time.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Do Rachel\u2019s impression\u00a0of..my\u00a0impression of Rachel was always\u00a0\u00a0(falsetto) \u2018Circle, circle, circle circles of life.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Remember when they gave her that song?\u00a0\u00a0She was like, \u2018I can sing!\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 Right, we had a musical.\u00a0\u00a0We did a\u00a0musical<\/em>–<\/p>\n D \u2013 (falsetto) \u2019Circles\u2019 (Joe cracks up) \u2018circle circle\u00a0circle\u2019 \u2013<\/p>\n J \u2013 (sighs)<\/p>\n D \u2013 He loves it when I do that<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah.\u00a0\u00a0And David?\u00a0\u00a0David\u2019s just like, (high pitched) \u2018We\u2019re gonna die!\u2019<\/p>\n D \u2013 (nonsense sounds)\u2026diieeeee!<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u2018David, no.\u00a0\u00a0David you actually don\u2019t have a line.\u2019 \u2018What?!\u00a0\u00a0O-kay.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(as\u00a0David)\u00a0\u00a0\u2018We\u2019re gonna die!\u00a0\u00a0Argh!\u2019\u00a0\u00a0He was saddled with the most difficult part of this show, which was-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Joe<\/p>\n J \u2013 (nodding) Me, and my hair.\u00a0\u00a0Uh, anyway.\u00a0\u00a0Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I have a really serious question.<\/p>\n (Joe and David shift in their chairs)\u00a0\u00a0Serious, okay.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Do either of you have tattoos, and if so, where are they?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Emotional tattoos?<\/p>\n J \u2013 I am one of the few people without one.\u00a0\u00a0I think they\u2019re very trendy, aren\u2019t they?\u00a0\u00a0I should get one.\u00a0\u00a0Ya\u00a0know, just to be trendy.\u00a0\u00a0Uh, no, I don\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t have any tattoos.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019ve never seen a picture that I would want to hang on my wall\u00a0forever<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0Ya\u00a0know what I mean? Like, I never like \u2013 I would be worried that \u2013 I mean, no offense.\u00a0\u00a0My wife has a tattoo, but, um \u2013 and which is really cute – but I always think like\u2026<\/p>\n J \u2013 Let\u2019s talk about that.\u00a0\u00a0Where does she have a tattoo?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Uh,\u00a0er\u2026.[near\u00a0the thing]<\/p>\n Q – Thanks<\/p>\n J \u2013 Um yeah, the sad truth is-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Wildly disappointing, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Ya\u00a0know Chicago was not a lot of fun at all.\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u2018I thought they were rock stars.\u2019<\/p>\n D \u2013 I like the kids now, \u2018cause they have all these little fake tattoos that they can do.\u00a0\u00a0I was talking to a guy who had all these massive, cool tattoos, and he said that his kid\u2019s friends came home and said \u2018Are those tattoos real, or permanent?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Cause their idea of a\u00a0real<\/em> tattoo.\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0Joe, who\u2019s rolling his eyes) See how that worked?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah.\u00a0\u00a0Let\u2019s move on, David.<\/p>\n D – Sure.\u00a0\u00a0(leaning\u00a0forward and looking at the floor)\u00a0\u00a0That was the serious question?\u00a0\u00a0It looks so far down!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hi, I was wondering what your second favorite acting job was \u2013 \u2018cause we all know\u00a0that Stargate<\/em> was the first.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah,\u00a0A Dog\u2019s Breakfast<\/em> for me.\u00a0\u00a0Oh, wait \u2013 I didn\u2019t do it.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (whispers) There\u2019s still time.<\/p>\n J \u2013 The sequel.\u00a0\u00a0What\u2019d that\u00a0be\u00a0–\u00a0The Dog\u2019s Lunch<\/em>?<\/p>\n D –\u00a0Heir of the Dog<\/em>, I thought for the sequel.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (laughs) Well.\u00a0\u00a0Second favorite acting job.\u00a0\u00a0Well, since you preface it so rhetorically like that, I would say that, um, I enjoyed making\u00a0Thoughtcrimes<\/em> a lot, uh, just \u2018cause I liked the role \u2013<\/p>\n D \u2013 (sings Scooby Doo theme)<\/p>\n J \u2013 (nods at David)<\/p>\n D \u2013 (as a\u00a0fangirl) \u2013 \u2018I watch all your work.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(Joe and audience crack up)\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Remember when you did Scooby Doo?\u00a0\u00a0I love that.\u00a0\u00a0My favorite part of your second favorite film.\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 Let\u2019s ask David.\u00a0\u00a0Kung Fu<\/em>?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Ah, no.\u00a0\u00a0I think I\u2019d have to go with\u00a0Traders<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0I like, I think that was it.\u00a0\u00a0It was a little Canadian show that you wouldn\u2019t have heard of – it was about the Toronto Stock Exchange, like, how to bring in a\u00a0huge <\/strong>audience there \u2013 is to do a show about Toronto Stock Exchange. Um, but, yeah-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Was that the one David Hewlett was in?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah!\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019ve seen the show.\u00a0\u00a0And the guy who does\u00a0Bones<\/em> now, actually, is the guy who, basically, came up with that.\u00a0\u00a0And\u00a0House<\/em>. The other guy is working now on\u00a0House<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0And I\u2019m here.<\/p>\n J –\u00a0Traders<\/em>.<\/p>\n (phone\u00a0ringing)<\/p>\n D\/J \u2013 Answer the phone!\/Pick up!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Hello?\u00a0\u00a0Yeah.\u00a0\u00a0No, I\u2019m not here right now.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0Q)\u00a0\u00a0Go ahead.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Did she walk through the wall?<\/p>\n J \u2013 What?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Did you see that, too?<\/p>\n J – Yes, it was insane.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 She\u2019s really a changeling.\u00a0\u00a0Anyway, my question is: if there was any person, alive or dead, that you would like to sit down with for 15 minutes-<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019m doing it right now. I\u2019m doing it right now!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 -who would it be, and why?<\/p>\n J \u2013 (sighs) Oh, god.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You want to say \u2018anything\u2019 to God for 15 minutes?\u00a0\u00a0Hey, I\u2019ll take God for 15 minutes.\u00a0\u00a0Good call!<\/p>\n J \u2013 You go first, I gotta see what-<\/p>\n D \u2013 I just said it \u2013 you!\u00a0\u00a0You, mister.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll take 15 minutes \u2013 I\u2019ll take any time I can get.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, my god! (ponders, hard)<\/p>\n D \u2013 The key here is to try to find one that doesn\u2019t sound too pretentious, but makes you sound smart.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, yes.<\/p>\n D \u2013 So, your first instinct — like Mickey Mouse?\u00a0\u00a0Don\u2019t go with that.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, thank God David was here.<\/p>\n D \u2013 But, like – Pluto<\/p>\n J \u2013 Pluto\u2019s a good one.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Minnie<\/p>\n J – Pluto\u2019s the smart one, right?\u00a0\u00a0My god that\u2019s an incredible question\u2026that forces me to dig into the dark crevices of my mind \u2013 and\u00a0I don\u2019t like that<\/em>.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Damn, I dribbled on my pants.\u00a0\u00a0Nobody\u2019s gonna wanna stay with me for 15 minutes!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, I think the question should be asked inversely.\u00a0\u00a0Who wouldn\u2019t want to spend 15 minutes with\u00a0us<\/em>?\u00a0\u00a0(cheering)\u00a0\u00a0Oh, okay.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You don\u2019t want to?\u00a0\u00a0So why are you here?\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Sorry, I thought this was a\u00a0Twilight<\/em> convention.\u00a0\u00a0I thought that\u00a0Pattinson\u00a0guy had more hair!\u2019<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Thank you.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Thank you \u2013 did I answer?\u00a0\u00a0Oh, yeah.<\/p>\n J \u2013 No, wait \u2013 we have to do this.\u00a0 (looking\u00a0to his left)\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s like tennis.<\/p>\n A \u2013 It\u2019s Joe\u2019s magnetic personality.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yes, that\u2019s what it is.\u00a0\u00a0(David rolls his eyes, then his whole head around, ending up slumped down in his chair)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I have a question for the both of you.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Do you have lemons all over your shirt?\u00a0\u00a0(darsynia!!!)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I sure do.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, you, woman.\u00a0\u00a0(darsynia\u00a0makes a \\o\/ )<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Okay, so I want to know Joe\u2019s first impression of David, and I also have a serious question for David-<\/p>\n D \u2013 What, wait \u2013 so that wasn\u2019t a serious question?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 No.<\/p>\n D \u2013 And when you\u2019re finished goofing around\u2026<\/p>\n Q \u2013 and the, uh, question for David is: how did you prepare for the different flavors of McKay; the-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Flavors?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Flavors? You make me sound like, like a Ben & Jerry\u2019s ice cream bar.\u00a0\u00a0So sorry, you had the serious question \u2013 no,\u00a0that<\/em> was the serious question.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh.\u00a0\u00a0I, I forgot what the question was.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 The first question was \u2013 your first impression of David.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, god.\u00a0\u00a0This is bad.<\/p>\n D \u2013 When did we work together first?\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t remember when we started working together.<\/p>\n J \u2013 What\u00a0d\u2019ya\u00a0mean?\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t know \u2013 you got…\u00a0\u00a0Didn\u2019t you get cast after we started shooting?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah.\u00a0\u00a0You guys were already shot most of it.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I was told that the character was going to be black.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yes.<\/p>\n J \u2013 And then David showed up and I was, like… (squints)\u00a0\u00a0How\u00a0is he black?<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s not about color\u2026it\u2019s what\u2019s inside.<\/p>\n J \u2013 First impression?\u00a0\u00a0I, I, I, I don\u2019t know that I had a first impression.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s a good question.\u00a0\u00a0Damn.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Ears are burning \u2013 slight sickness.<\/p>\n J \u2013 No.\u00a0\u00a0We started doing some scenes together, and obviously there was uh, there was funny.\u00a0\u00a0He was the funny guy. I was like, \u2018Hey, Funny Guy!\u00a0\u00a0Get over here and do your funny thing.\u2019<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yes, Hair Guy?<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u2018Dance for us, Funny Guy.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0Uh, no, but I thought it a great \u2013 it was a good choice, injecting the proper level of comedy into an otherwise very serious show.\u00a0\u00a0Very serious.<\/p>\n D \u2013 An appropriate amount of humor in a serious show.\u00a0\u00a0And what was my question?\u00a0\u00a0Oh, flavors!\u00a0\u00a0I like that one that has the chocolate\u2026and the caramel, with the marshmallows.\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0Joe) I\u2019m hungry now.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (to David) I know.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 So, like Original, (indistinct), Rod, Replicator, Last Man old McKay-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, Rod. You gotta to go with Rod.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, that flavor of McKay.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll take Rod.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, that\u2019s \u2013 I, I, I tried to incorporate a leather jacket from then on in \u2013 \u201cI think we should wear leather.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s more appropriate for going to the same planet.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s always a little chilly.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I did think it was very funny that he did go from a nebbish, loud scientist to, like, action hero.\u00a0\u00a0(aside\u00a0to David) I couldn\u2019t think of the name of the thing.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I know.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Action hero.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0Inaction<\/em> hero.<\/p>\n (David looking to his left)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, gotta go this way.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (to left Q) Nice try, but you will NOT lure me with your question.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 My question is, um-<\/p>\n J \u2013 What are you holding?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Um, a present for David.<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0Aaooh, God!\u00a0\u00a0Alright.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 First I\u2019m going to ask my-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Do I wanna know what it is?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 It\u2019s a painting.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s a painting?!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Yes-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh.<\/p>\n J \u2013 It\u2019s Peppermint McKay Ice Cream.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 No, it\u2019s a still life painting of the city of Atlantis.<\/p>\n J\/D \u2013 Ah\/Oh, wow.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 But first, my question, though.\u00a0\u00a0What\u2019s the weirdest thing you\u2019ve ever had to do and\/or where?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Do?\u00a0\u00a0Wha\u00a0– What\u2019s the weirdest thing we\u2019ve ever had to do or\u00a0what<\/em>?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 And\/or where.<\/p>\n J \u2013 On the show, or?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Any show or movie you\u2019ve ever done.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Remember standing in that field with that guy in the\u00a0Pepto\u00a0pink\u00a0Bismo, he looked like a\u00a0Pepto-Bismo\u00a0pill.\u00a0\u00a0And he had this \u2013 the poor guy, this huge, tall guy in a skin tight suit, and they didn\u2019t give him a cup.\u00a0So we did the whole scene just going, like… (sympathetic grimace).\u00a0\u00a0And we\u2019d just got back from hiatus, and we were like-<\/p>\n J – And that was the, I think I wrote the (clears throat)-<\/p>\n D \u2013 You wrote that episode!\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s right \u2013 \u2018cause everyone\u2019s looking at Joe, going like (quizzical, slightly worried look, shifting from Joe to the guy and back).<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0Yeeeah.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You and the guy hanging out of his\u2026<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0Yeeah, he was pink.\u00a0\u00a0And the director kept saying, \u2018It\u2019s gonna look\u00a0great<\/span> when it\u2019s done.\u2019<\/p>\n D \u2013 He was supposed to be a pterodactyl or something, wasn\u2019t he?<\/p>\n J \u2013 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0\u00a0He was like, he was like the Michelin man, but he was pink.\u00a0Very scary.<\/p>\n D \u2013 He had an apologetic look on his face, like, \u2018I\u2019m really sorry.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m really sorry that you\u2019re seeing this\u2026all of this.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s very hot and embarrassing.\u2019<\/p>\n (Note: We later figured out, or were told, that it was the suit the guy playing the beast in Epiphany<\/em> wore – which was later processed into the blurry bits seen on screen.)<\/p>\n J \u2013 It was.\u00a0\u00a0That was a terrible episode.\u00a0\u00a0Who wrote that?\u00a0\u00a0Is that it?\u00a0\u00a0You wanna give me David\u2019s gift?\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll keep it for him.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I meant \u2013 what did\u00a0you<\/em> wear?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Ah.<\/p>\n J \u2013 But we were answering together.<\/p>\n D \u2013 What did\u00a0you<\/em> wear?<\/p>\n J \u2013 I was there experiencing the same level of pain as David.\u00a0\u00a0I saw the pink man.<\/p>\n D \u2013 They dressed me as an angel once.\u00a0\u00a0Remember, I was telling you about that day-<\/p>\n J – You notice how he was down when he said that?\u00a0\u00a0It was like, in an AA meeting when you\u2019re bringing up your worst secrets.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s been four years since I wore an angel suit.\u00a0\u00a0Not that I know what happens in an AA meeting.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah.\u00a0\u00a0No, I did get…somebody sent me a photo of you as an angel \u2013 um, half naked and looking like a, you know, a fairy.\u00a0\u00a0I put it up \u2013 it\u2019s on the wall.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It was actually in the Wardrobe description \u2013 described as a feathered g-string.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah \u2013 I was younger\u2026and gravity had not worked its magic.\u00a0\u00a0Nowadays, (shaking head) yes.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 You want me to give you…?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I can take it now.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019d be fantastic.\u00a0\u00a0Thanks you very much.\u00a0\u00a0(walking\u00a0over)\u00a0\u00a0Uh, please feel free to talk amongst yourselves, while I accept gifts.\u00a0\u00a0(hops\u00a0off the stage)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 (indistinct)<\/p>\n D \u2013 He\u2019s my favorite actor, too.\u00a0\u00a0That’s funny – maybe someone should call him?<\/p>\n J \u2013 You know, you still have time to go get me a gift.<\/p>\n (David shows the painting to the crowd, then walks back)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Well-<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s only downhill from here.\u00a0\u00a0You may\u00a0wanna\u00a0leave now \u2013 \u2018cause it\u2019s basically gonna go\u00a0down<\/em>–<\/p>\n J \u2013 (stands) There are two exits in the back, one on the right.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (does the air safety dance.\u00a0\u00a0He put\u00a0his<\/span> mask on before\u00a0whoever\u00a0he was traveling with.\u00a0\u00a0Good man.)<\/p>\n (they\u00a0both sit down)<\/p>\n J \u2013 How\u00a0ya\u00a0doing, buddy?\u00a0\u00a0Sorry you had to listen to all that.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Um, I have a question for-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Aw, c\u2019mon! (fake\u00a0exasperated)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Go ahead.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 What were your favorite episodes to shoot, and your least favorite episodes to shoot?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, boy.\u00a0\u00a0Uh\u2026<\/p>\n D \u2013\u00a0Ya\u00a0hafta\u00a0ask the tough one, huh?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Favorite episode to shoot was\u00a0Las Vegas<\/em> [sic].<\/p>\n D \u2013 Because, it was like \u2018Let\u2019s Make Joe the Coolest Person on the Planet\u2019.<\/p>\n (Joe eyebrows and nods to the crowd)<\/p>\n D \u2013 They shouldn\u2019t call it\u00a0Vegas<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0It was\u00a0like,\u00a0it was like \u2018Joe Gets to Look Cool\u2019.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I had a cool car, too.\u00a0\u00a0(unrepentant!Joe is unrepentant)<\/p>\n D \u2013 (mutters) And David gets to look fat-<\/p>\n J \u2013 And I didn\u2019t have to work with David that much \u2013 we just did one scene.\u00a0\u00a0Like, \u201cYeah.\u00a0\u00a0The Joe Show.\u201d<\/p>\n D \u2013 Remember that scene?\u00a0\u00a0That was, like, the first one on the show that we got \u2013 he\u2019s like, \u201cLet\u2019s try it again, this way.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I was, like, \u201cFor\u00a0acting<\/strong>?!\u00a0\u00a0Okaay!\u201d<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, yeah, that was a fun one.\u00a0\u00a0And the least favorite one\u2026<\/p>\n D \u2013 The final?\u00a0\u00a0Finale?\u00a0\u00a0Fin-al?\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, the last one.\u00a0\u00a0I always think that\u00a0Vegas<\/em> should be the last show.\u00a0\u00a0They should\u2019ve just ended on that one.\u00a0\u00a0Um, yeah \u2013 the one with Joe dead in the desert, that\u2019s the last \u2013 that would be the way to go for me.\u00a0\u00a0But the last episode \u2013 the last episode for many reasons; because it was the last episode, obviously.\u00a0\u00a0Um, and also, it\u2019s just-<\/p>\n J \u2013 It\u2019s a convoluted story.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t get it \u2013 what\u2019s happened?\u00a0\u00a0Where are we?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (portentously) I have seen the Wraith ships on fire, I have seen galaxies destroyed \u2013 (excitedly) The Golden Gate Bridge?!\u00a0\u00a0Quick, everybody \u2013 get a-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Girlfriend!<\/p>\n D \u2013 Quick, everybody \u2013 get a girlfriend!\u00a0\u00a0And everything will be good\u2026in the world, except Joe, who\u2019s in love with himself.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I, I was by myself \u2013 did you see that?\u00a0\u00a0Everybody had a girlfriend.<\/p>\n D \u2013 He had the one single tear…<\/p>\n J \u2013 We all went to the balcony, we all went to the balcony, and it was, like… (walks to the front of the stage – looks to his left, then his right)<\/p>\n D \u2013 All of a sudden Jason\u2019s with the, like, the\u2026.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Jason has a girlfriend.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, listen-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Excuse me?\u00a0\u00a0Who\u2019s single for the last shot of the show?\u00a0\u00a0Thank you!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Jason should\u2019ve come in with, like, 15 girlfriends.<\/p>\n (Joe makes porn soundtrack music)<\/p>\n D \u2013 So we\u2019re home.<\/p>\n J \u2013 What about yours?<\/p>\n (David looks confused, so Q says, \u201cYour favorite.\u201d)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, I thought you meant Jewell.\u00a0\u00a0She has a name, man!\u00a0\u00a0Her name is\u00a0Jewell<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0(gets\u00a0his water glass) I don\u2019t believe that women should be referred to as chattel!<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u2018Jewell\u2019 is her\u00a0daytime<\/em> name.\u00a0\u00a0Yeeaah.<\/p>\n (David stops drinking and shakes his lowered head)<\/p>\n D \u2013 My favorite episode would be, uh, I just really loved\u00a0Grace Under Pressure<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0Just \u2018cause I got to- (crowd hoots) say every line in the show and, um, to myself \u2013 and, and then – watch a half-dressed Amanda swimming around.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, you can\u2019t really lose on that, basically.\u00a0\u00a0On any front.\u00a0\u00a0Um, and got to swim around in a giant fish tank, basically-<\/p>\n J \u2013 And I wasn\u2019t in the episode.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You were hardly there at all.\u00a0\u00a0Where were you that-?\u00a0\u00a0What was -?\u00a0\u00a0There was some kind of \u2013 they would show the – come back to\u00a0the base and people standing around going, \u2018Yeah, he\u2019s\u2026missing.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0I like that episode \u2013 I\u2019m in it.<\/p>\n J \u2013 God.\u00a0\u00a0It, it is-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, no, no\u2026least favorite!\u00a0\u00a0What about the one with the bug on your neck?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, yeah!<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, my god – can he whine.\u00a0\u00a0You think\u00a0I<\/em> can whine?\u00a0\u00a0You should\u2019ve heard him on that one.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (growls)\u00a0\u00a0(whispers) I don\u2019t like the\u00a0puddlejumper\u00a0(?).<\/p>\n D \u2013 (indistinct)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Goddamn bug.\u00a0\u00a0Ya\u00a0know, I gotta tell you \u2013 that thing was, uh, we were just working out the kinks, on the show.\u00a0\u00a0We\u2019d built the\u00a0puddlejumper\u00a0\u2013 it was too small to film in.\u00a0\u00a0Ya, know, which was really funny, because it was\u00a0for filming<\/span>.\u00a0\u00a0Maybe we should make the set big enough\u00a0To. Film. In.\u00a0\u00a0And, anyways, it\u2019s like this big and everybody\u2019s in there, and, uh, it\u2019s hot, sweaty, and crowded, and uh, Rainbow, God bless him-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Rainbow, oh my god, I worry about him.<\/p>\n J – -he had all this business to do,\u00a0ya\u00a0know.\u00a0\u00a0And, and \u2013 he couldn\u2019t get the line right, or the business-<\/p>\n D \u2013 It was Mario directing, remember Mario?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Aww, Mario.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (Italian<\/span> Maltese accent)\u00a0Jesus Christ, man!\u00a0\u00a0Just act!\u00a0\u00a0Say your lines!<\/em><\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0I don\u2019t believe you! I don\u2019t believe you!<\/em><\/p>\n D \u2013\u00a0I don\u2019t believe a word you are saying! I don\u2019t believe a word you are saying – in Malta we would have killed you!<\/em> The only accent I do is a generic accent \u2013 it also works for Bulgarian.<\/p>\n J \u2013 But that\u2019s exactly how he sounded.\u00a0\u00a0And, he actually was a great director.\u00a0\u00a0And, uh, it was painful.\u00a0\u00a0Didn\u2019t he have \u2013 like,\u00a0was sick or something? Had a stroke?<\/p>\n D \u2013 What?\u00a0\u00a0Are you serious?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Did he?\u00a0\u00a0No?\u00a0\u00a0Everybody had a stroke, that episode \u2013 I wasn\u2019t sure.\u00a0\u00a0But, yeah, that was my least favorite episode-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Basically, any episode where we\u2019re stuck in the jumper for any period of time, unless it\u2019s underwater and Amanda\u2019s half naked \u2013 is\u00a0not<\/span> a good show.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s not a\u00a0good,\u00a0it\u2019s not a good week of filming.<\/p>\n J \u2013 You like watching the jumper \u2013 we don\u2019t like being in there.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You see all the cool stuff going on, and see a green screen and a couple of grips scratching themselves,\u00a0ya\u00a0know?<\/p>\n J \u2013 It\u2019s true.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (waving his hand) Here\u2019s the\u00a0strobing\u00a0lights \u2013 you\u2019re going through the gate.\u00a0\u00a0The tinfoil.<\/p>\n J \u2013 You\u2019ll be, like, doing some intense scene \u2013 explosions everywhere \u2013 and there\u2019s a guy checking his cell phone.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe does the high, squeaky imitation Joe voice \u2013 I snort) \u2018Can we move him out of the\u00a0eyeline?\u2019<\/p>\n (David stands up and rubs his butt while looking out into the distance, then looks at his butt hand)<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u2018I think I sat in something!\u2019\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s, like \u2013 yeah.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s the most distracting \u2013 and there\u2019s some poor director going, like, (defeated tone) \u201cC\u2019mon, guys. This is, can you just?\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019re really, you\u2019re in danger.\u00a0\u00a0The galaxy\u2019s gonna blow up.\u00a0\u00a0Just, if you could get the lines out, that\u2019s all?\u201d<\/p>\n J \u2013 We did get ourselves into – what, it was, like, pretty soon \u2013 like in the third or fourth episode.\u00a0\u00a0The producers came down, got mad at David and I for joking around too much.\u00a0\u00a0Apparently, there were actors-<\/p>\n D \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t call them actors.<\/p>\n J \u2013 -I\u2019ve never seen any actor on our show, but \u2013 apparently there were actors that were, weren\u2019t able to stay in character because of our goofing off, and, um, we were told to cut it back.\u00a0\u00a0So, we really \u2013 (pulls hand across throat) \u2013 it was over.<\/p>\n D \u2013 We cut it right out.\u00a0\u00a0There was\u00a0nooo\u00a0more fun after that!<\/p>\n J \u2013 I did my serious face. I was, like, – (makes his serious face).\u00a0\u00a0And, thus, five years later-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Good question.\u00a0\u00a0Thank you very much – both of them.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 David\u2026<\/p>\n D \u2013\u00a0Yeesss!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 In memorizing your\u00a0technobabble\u00a0lines-<\/p>\n D \u2013 (falsetto)\u00a0 I just made them up!\u00a0\u00a0Made \u2018em\u00a0up!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Do you have a photographic memory, or are you just that good?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019m so, no \u2013 I\u2019m bad.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m actually really, really awful.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t have a photographic memory \u2013 I, literally, uh, am the worst line memorizer of all time \u2013 it takes me\u00a0forever<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0And everyone always assumes, they\u2019d go, like, they just assume that, because I do it, that I did it quickly.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t do it quickly.\u00a0\u00a0My poor wife!\u00a0\u00a0I, I-<\/p>\n J \u2013 You ever seen that look that his dog, Mars, has?<\/p>\n D \u2013 That\u2019s my wife-<\/p>\n J \u2013 She has to listen to him.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I used to run lines with Mars.\u00a0\u00a0He gave more.\u00a0\u00a0I was, like, \u201cNo, can \u2013 Mars, can you stop doing that?\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Cause I\u2019m not\u00a0gonna\u00a0get that kind of realism\u2026from the people that I work with.\u00a0\u00a0Oh, that was good.\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 (indistinct)\u00a0That\u2019s my \u2018I\u2019m listening to David\u2019 look.\u00a0\u00a0But my mind?\u00a0\u00a0Elsewhere.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I have this memory of Jason saying, \u2018Like, dude, do you know?\u00a0\u00a0Like,\u2013\u00a0you think it\u2019s, you think it\u2019s hard saying all those lines? You know how hard it is listening to them?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0And I loved him from there on in.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, this way.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Joe, since very little of Sheppard\u2019s\u00a0backstory\u00a0was revealed until\u00a0Outcast<\/em> in Season Four, did you create a whole\u00a0backstory?\u00a0\u00a0And, if so, what was it?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Well, let\u2019s start with Season One\u2026<\/p>\n D \u2013 By \u2018backstory\u2019, do you mean, like, the Johnny Cash poster?\u00a0\u00a0Deeeep.\u00a0\u00a0I am a muddy puddle.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I did come up with a lot of\u00a0backstory, and when I realized they didn\u2019t really care \u2013 I put it in my little secret place (points to head).\u00a0\u00a0And it\u2019s been safe there, ever since.\u00a0\u00a0But, the \u2013 character did not get explored the way I expected it to.\u00a0\u00a0But, in some ways, it didn\u2019t make that much difference, because, I don\u2019t know \u2013 I mean, your character got a lot more\u00a0backstory, exploration \u2013 than mine did.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Well, I mean, I was lucky \u2013 that when I came in, they already sort of knew I was a jerk.\u00a0\u00a0They just had to explain why.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Right? Why is he\u00a0such<\/em> a jerk?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Why would they hire him?\u00a0\u00a0There was, I remember looking on the boards on\u00a0Gateworld\u00a0when I first started \u2013 there was this thread, like \u2013 \u201cWhy McKay? You\u2019ve done ten years of a show and you choose\u00a0him<\/strong>?!\u00a0Why would\u00a0he<\/em> go over?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I was, like, \u2018I\u2019m completely in agreement with you.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m very happy to be here, but I do not know why.\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 The\u00a0backstory\u00a0thing I tried to get to.\u00a0\u00a0I wrote another episode called, um, um-<\/p>\n D \u2013\u00a0Joe<\/em> (takes a drink)<\/p>\n J \u2013 That was\u00a0Mister Joe<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0(David nearly does a spit take) Um, Out- what the hell was it?\u00a0\u00a0Outcast<\/em>, yeah.\u00a0\u00a0And they tried to explore things there, but that was as far as we got.\u00a0\u00a0Um, but-<\/p>\n D \u2013 They realized that there was nothing there.\u00a0\u00a0They had plumbed the depths of that character.\u00a0\u00a0They realized that, basically, the Johnny Cash poster was as deep as it got.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, that\u2019s pretty deep, too.\u00a0\u00a0Um, so, no \u2013 we should\u2019ve explored more, but we also\u2026you\u2019re talking about a show that we expected to go for, probably, another three years.<\/p>\n D \u2013 A hundred years.\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0cheers)\u00a0\u00a0(indistinct) (crown\u00a0groans) (high\u00a0voice) \u2018Thank God it ended at five!\u00a0\u00a0Ah, Thank God!\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 So, anyway.\u00a0\u00a0Hey, you never know \u2013 it may come back.\u00a0\u00a0(cheers)<\/p>\n D \u2013 (voiceover voice)\u00a0Stargate: McKay<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0SG: M<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0Stargate: Me.<\/em><\/p>\n (baby\u00a0in audience cries)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, I know.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s sad.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s very scary when you think about it.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I have a question for David.\u00a0\u00a0What\u2019s it like, being neurotic?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I believe the question is\u00a0playing<\/span> neurotic?<\/p>\n J \u2013 He wouldn\u2019t be so neurotic if, actually, I wasn\u2019t trying to kill him all the time.<\/p>\n D \u2013 He\u00a0is<\/em> an erotic character, now that you mention it.\u00a0\u00a0Uh,\u00a0neu<\/span>rotic,\u00a0neu<\/span>rotic, that\u2019s it.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Mercifully, un-erotic.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Mercifully, un-erotic.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe gives an emphatic nod, then David and Joe bust out laughing)\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s a whole other story.\u00a0\u00a0Um\u2026(wheezy laugh)\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0am<\/strong> neurotic.\u00a0\u00a0I, just, I am.\u00a0\u00a0I, I think \u2013 I\u2019m not a very good actor.\u00a0\u00a0I just, I just basically-<\/p>\n J \u2013 And you want the answers now?!\u00a0\u00a0Historically, it\u2019s in there.<\/p>\n D \u2013 -I just try to highlight the parts of my personality that are suitable for the role that I\u2019m playing, and – in this case they, they hit on a gold mine, seriously.\u00a0\u00a0Hypochondria, neurosis, insecurity, ego \u2013 I could find all of them-<\/p>\n J \u2013 With easy access.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Are you neurotic?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Keep backing away.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Actually, I was talking about the character.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You\u2019d better be running, mister!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Thank you \u2013 and I\u2019ll pay you later.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I have a tough one for you.\u00a0\u00a0What are your favorite lines, or most funny lines you remember?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I like \u201cMentally unstable like a fox!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I always liked that one.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I\u2019ve forgotten all my lines.\u00a0\u00a0That, also, went to the little secret place.<\/p>\n D \u2013 That was also kind of like working with him on set.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Um, I \u2013\u00a0ya\u00a0know, it\u2019s funny.\u00a0\u00a0I do, I have this weird little, uh, uh – hard resets that I do when I leave work.\u00a0\u00a0I forget everything – and I was shooting this film in Ireland, we went back \u2013 and they go, \u201cOh, we forgot to get the close up on that shot.\u00a0\u00a0Let\u2019s just, let\u2019s just do \u2018em\u00a0real fast.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0So I was, like, \u201cHuh?\u00a0\u00a0What was I doing?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I couldn\u2019t \u2013 it took me a while.\u00a0\u00a0I was, like, \u201cI, it\u2019s not \u2013 it\u2019s no\u2026it\u2019s not here anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah, I can never remember stuff \u2013 I hit the same-<\/p>\n J \u2013 I thought I would be haunted by the whole thing.\u00a0\u00a0My favorites lines, ever. \u2026.\u00a0\u00a0let\u2019s\u00a0see, um.\u00a0\u00a0(whistles)\u00a0\u00a0I\u00a0dunno.\u00a0\u00a0David, what are\u00a0your<\/em> favorite lines of mine?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I was just trying to think, actually, of exactly that \u2013 There\u2019s someone coming to steal your water right now. She\u2019s taking your water, right now!<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0(Joe spins,\u00a0then\u00a0pretends to bash her with his microphone)<\/p>\n D \u2013 I always like Joe\u2019s looks.\u00a0\u00a0It was always like, a bit like wildlife photography, like, you just \u2013 you\u2019d be, like,\u00a0\u00a0in a scene and they\u2019d suddenly cut to you, and you\u2019d be like (makes a Joe eyebrow face), and it always was, like, it was always\u2026funny, and bang on.\u00a0\u00a0And it \u2013 no \u2026\u00a0\u00a0(as the lights come up)\u00a0\u00a0Aw, it got lighter.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Ah..<\/p>\n D \u2013 You see that, too, right?\u00a0\u00a0Suddenly, it\u2019s like –\u00a0it\u2019s people<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0What does that \u2013 that means we have, like\u2026?<\/p>\n (con\u00a0official)\u00a0Half an hour.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Right.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, my god.\u00a0\u00a0Okay, uh, so, uh\u2026did I answer your question?<\/p>\n D \u2013 You don\u2019t remember this.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I feel like I\u2019m not answering some questions.\u00a0\u00a0You can see (taps head, whispers) lot of emptiness.<\/p>\n D \u2013 He\u2019s on his hard reset right now.<\/p>\n J \u2013 A lot of emptiness.\u00a0\u00a0How\u00a0ya\u00a0doing, pal?<\/p>\n D \u2013 So, what \u2013 do we have, like, five minutes, or what\u2019s the \u2026 does anyone know?<\/p>\n Host (over the sound system) \u2013 We actually have about \u2013 fifty minutes left, to do.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (looking toward the Heavens)\u00a0Yes, yes?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Well, in that case\u2026<\/p>\n D \u2013 Hello, God, it\u2019s me \u2013 David.<\/p>\n Host (sepulchral tone) \u2013 Hello, David.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Strike him down (jabbing at Joe).\u00a0\u00a0Hey, there!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hi!<\/p>\n D \u2013 How\u00a0ya\u00a0doing?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Good!\u00a0\u00a0I have a question for both of you.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I like you already.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 What would you have wanted to do if you weren\u2019t an actor?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Fly through space and kill bad guys.<\/p>\n D \u2013 That\u2019s not far off, because – I wanted to be a Time Lord.\u00a0\u00a0(crowd hooting)\u00a0\u00a0They\u2019d ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I\u2019d be, like, \u201cTime Lord.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0And they\u2019d be, like, \u201cThere are no Time Lords.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWell, then \u2013 I want to\u00a0pretend<\/em> to be a Time Lord!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I liked computer programming, I thought that was kind of fun.\u00a0Ya\u00a0know? But, uh, you have to be smart.\u00a0\u00a0Maths, things like that.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s all that tricky, real stuff in between the coming up with the genius programming.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I, I, yeah \u2013 I don\u2019t-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Basically, we sucked at everything<\/p>\n J \u2013 We failed our way into acting.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, um, I did do a few other things, but I kept getting fired.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m being serious.\u00a0\u00a0Bartender \u2013 fired.\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019d think with a name like\u00a0Flanigan-<\/p>\n D \u2013 You got fired as a bartender?!\u00a0\u00a0How do you do that?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Waiter \u2013 fired.<\/p>\n D \u2013 What\u2019re you thinking of doing?\u00a0\u00a0What do you \u2013 have you something in mind?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Well, I don\u2019t know yet<\/p>\n D \u2013 You\u2019d better hurry, man.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (looks at watch)\u00a0\u00a0We\u00a0want a decision before we\u2019re done talking.<\/p>\n D \u2013 So you have no plans? No plans yet?\u00a0\u00a0I just want you to know that you\u2019re going to asked this more and more, every single year.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Just tell \u2018em\u00a0you want to be a Time Lord.\u00a0\u00a0No?\u00a0\u00a0Okay.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, thank you for filling my water, btw, little person-who-fills-water.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Hey, btw, you don\u2019t have to figure out what you want to do.\u00a0\u00a0Learning what you don\u2019t want to do goes a long way, too.\u00a0\u00a0Like, I don\u2019t wanna work with David anymore.<\/p>\n (David = eyebrows.\u00a0\u00a0Crowd = groans)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Just one of those tips\u2026Oh!\u00a0\u00a0(pats\u00a0David\u2019s shoulder)\u00a0\u00a0Oh, where\u2019s that little runner up trophy?<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s down, down in my heart<\/p>\n J \u2013 No, but \u2013 learning what you don\u2019t want to do is part of it, so \u2013 you know, yeah.\u00a0\u00a0And, and, then, you\u2019ve gotta work hard at everything.\u00a0\u00a0My god, there\u2019s a lot of competition out there.\u00a0\u00a0But if you\u00a0kill<\/span> that competition\u2026then it\u2019s a home run, baby!\u00a0\u00a0(David nods sagely)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Thank you<\/p>\n J\/D \u2013 Thank you<\/p>\n D \u2013 This is what scares you.\u00a0\u00a0No only are we looking for jobs – this kid needs a job.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I had read that Joe got a degree in History.\u00a0\u00a0I was wondering, for the both of you, is there an area of history that you\u2019re interested in \u2013 and if you had the opportunity to make a historical film, what would it be?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Well, well, well \u2013 no, I did take History, and, yeah, I\u2019d love to do a period piece-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Wool pants, though \u2013 very uncomfortable.<\/p>\n J \u2013 They\u2019re a little uncomfortable – wool underwear.\u00a0\u00a0But, um, they do – they don\u2019t do a lot of those.\u00a0\u00a0They tend to be expensive.\u00a0\u00a0They do a lot in England, \u2018cause the BBC funds a lot of that \u2026pieces – Jane Austen, and everything else, but we don\u2019t a lot of that stuff here.\u00a0\u00a0And, um, what else, what else, what else?\u00a0\u00a0I want to do a Western, that\u2019s what I want to do.\u00a0\u00a0But, um \u2013 I\u00a0studied,\u00a0I studied European and American Intellectual History \u2013 wow, that\u2019s exciting.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Who\u00a0are<\/em> you?\u00a0\u00a0Well, you\u2019re Joe!<\/p>\n J \u2013 But, uh, that was a lot of fun and I liked it.\u00a0\u00a0I would go back to school, if I could afford to.\u00a0\u00a0Um, history is a great thing to study, and, and, you know\u2026it actually does help me out.\u00a0\u00a0Surprisingly, history helps me out \u2013 keeps me\u2026keeps it in perspective, a little bit.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It keeps you current?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I \u2013 failed a lot of History classes.\u00a0\u00a0I read the fun stuff \u2013 all the names and dates I (waves them away)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Nah, yeah,\u00a0ya\u00a0know\u2026it\u2019s alright.\u00a0\u00a0Don\u2019t go there with David.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s a sore subject.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I was never, I was never a history buff.\u00a0\u00a0I was always, I was reading stuff that was\u00a0gonna<\/em> happen, as opposed to what\u2019s already happened.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Though I know you can learn from the past and all that crap.<\/p>\n J \u2013 How you doing?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hey, great \u2013 how\u2019re you?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Good!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Not to inflate an ego anymore, but-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yes?<\/p>\n (Joe inflates himself taller in his chair)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I was wondering, in the beginning, how much did you guys actually add to your characters, to create them in the beginning – versus what they wanted?<\/p>\n A \u2013 ad\u00a0libbing.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Ad\u00a0libbing?\u00a0\u00a0Did you say, or are you just saying, in general?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 In general<\/p>\n J \u2013 Right.\u00a0\u00a0Well.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 When they first saw you, was that exactly what they wanted?<\/p>\n J \u2013 I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t think so, no.\u00a0\u00a0I think we came along and took control of our characters.<\/p>\n D \u2013 McKay was pretty there.\u00a0\u00a0Keep in mind that McKay was written by nerds for a nerd, so I think they were pretty well\u2026ya\u00a0know.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t know how heroic and planet-saving they were.\u00a0\u00a0You had a hard time with that,\u00a0\u00a0didn\u2019t\u00a0you?<\/p>\n J \u2013 It wasn\u2019t in their DNA, really, to write heroic stuff, um.\u00a0\u00a0They did, obviously write for McKay, quite a bit.\u00a0\u00a0They could identify with McKay.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I always used to joke that McKay is, like, the horrible offspring of, of,\u00a0ya\u00a0know, to Brad and Coop \u2013 I mean, that\u2019s easily\u2026I\u2019m like the stepchild of the two of them.<\/p>\n J \u2013 So, anyway – my character, uh \u2013 I mean – maybe he was\u2026I think he might have been a little too close to home, there.\u00a0\u00a0I did have an authority problem.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m sure they felt it.\u00a0\u00a0So\u2026okay.\u00a0\u00a0Good casting.\u00a0\u00a0But, I do think, from what I\u2019m told, is that they wanted to go with a Canadian guy.<\/p>\n D \u2013 And why wouldn\u2019t you want?<\/p>\n J \u2013 And, I think they got overruled by MGM, who booked me into that spot, so, I might\u2019ve walked into a little bit of a, little bit of a trap.<\/p>\n D \u2013 When you do a show as long as we did, too, you sort of become the keeper of the character.\u00a0\u00a0You have to, to some extent, you know him better than anybody.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Cause even the\u00a0people\u00a0who write some of the shows, haven\u2019t been\u2026as involved in, haven\u2019t necessarily seen every aspect of that character along the way.\u00a0\u00a0So you have a tendency to find yourself being protective of what he would or wouldn\u2019t do.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, we took ownership of our characters\u00a0really<\/em> fast.\u00a0\u00a0But, you know \u2013 I gotta tell you\u2026it\u2019s funny, \u2018cause there\u2019s a lot of working actors out there who don\u2019t\u2026make, um, they don\u2019t make a great impression\u2026and people don\u2019t remember what they do \u2013 is a lot of the time they\u2019re doing the opposite \u2013 is that they\u2019re trying to fill \u2013 inform to their character as opposed to taking ownership of it.\u00a0\u00a0And, uh \u2013 you can\u00a0do<\/em> that on a long running show.\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019ve got the luxury of taking ownership of your character, and, and knowing that you\u2019ve got a lot of time to develop it.\u00a0\u00a0Uh, if you\u2019re a guest star it\u2019s a lot trickier.\u00a0\u00a0You know, \u2018cause you\u2019re not comfortable with the character \u2013 and also being saddled with some, not so great dialogue.\u00a0\u00a0You get a lot of the exposition when you\u2019re a guest star.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Well, that\u2019s – I started as a guest star, and I never gave up the exposition.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I guess that\u2019s right, yeah.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s definitely a real thing – when you come in as a guest star, you\u2019re, basically, your job is to fill the character the way they want, and you\u2019re really…\u00a0\u00a0And you\u2019re open to it \u2013 you come in \u201cOkay, what do you need?\u201d type of thing.\u00a0\u00a0And then, as an ongoing character, you start looking for things, as opposed to uh, waiting to be told things.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, um, uh.\u00a0\u00a0None of the writers or producers ever came up\u00a0to me and say, \u201cOh, why did you do that?\u00a0\u00a0You would never have done that.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Because everything we did was relatively real, I mean, it was what our characters would have done.<\/p>\n D \u2013 They said \u2018Why would you do that?\u2019 sometimes.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Why would you do that?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u2018It looked funny?\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 Why\u2019d he kiss Carson Beckett?\u00a0\u00a0That was his\u2026That was the real him, man.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah, that was my choice.\u00a0\u00a0Who would I want to kiss, in the whole universe?\u00a0\u00a0McGillion?<\/p>\n J \u2013 I\u2019m still trying to shake the images.<\/p>\n (phone\u00a0ringing)<\/p>\n D \u2013\u00a0Flanigan\u2019s\u00a0ass is ringing.<\/p>\n (Joe pulls out his phone)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Who is it?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh God-<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s me!<\/p>\n J \u2013 it\u2019s so scary.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I changed his, uh –<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, God!<\/p>\n D \u2013 -desktop and locked the image…to me.\u00a0\u00a0Because he has the\u00a0iPhone\u00a04.\u00a0\u00a0I can only-<\/p>\n J \u2013 I\u2019m in the Green Room, and my phone\u00a0rings, and (holds phone out)\u00a0that\u2019s<\/strong> the image that comes up.\u00a0\u00a0And, yeah, I vomited a little.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I felt he needed something more refreshing, more inspiring than a picture of a small Chihuahua dog.\u00a0\u00a0What was it before?\u00a0\u00a0I didn\u2019t look \u2013 I just deleted it.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cOh, wife and kids, whatever.\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019ll love this shot of me!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Sorry, good question.<\/p>\n J \u2013 By the way, that one\u2019s going on Twitter, pal.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (aghast) Oh, God!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 This question is for David-<\/p>\n D \u2013 In your dog contest?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Damn right.\u00a0\u00a0He was the runner up in the dog contest.\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s the runner up,\u00a0it\u2019s all-<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019m going to take up running.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Speaking of dogs \u2013 kudos on adopting your dogs.<\/p>\n D \u2013 So why are you looking at me?\u00a0\u00a0Speaking of dogs – McKay?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 But, uh, my question if for you.\u00a0\u00a0Did you train Mars for his role in\u00a0A Dog\u2019s Breakfast<\/em> yourself?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I wrote the script around his limited abilities.\u00a0\u00a0Kinda\u00a0like they did with Joe.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe nods \u2013 barks)\u00a0\u00a0Basically, I knew he had certain looks that we found cute and attractive, and I\u2019d seen \u2013 literally, whenever there\u2019s food involved he does this little (twinch), and I thought, and so basically I just wrote that in every \u2013 and, also, he\u2019s the hinge shot.\u00a0\u00a0If the scene\u2019s not working, or I had nothing to cut to \u2013 I\u2019d just cut to a shot of the dog going (twinch).\u00a0\u00a0And the great thing about that is, it\u2019s probably a lesson for actors, as well, is that the reality is that you put onto the dog what you thinks he\u2019s thinking.\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s just thinking, \u201cSandwich?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0But in the movie, you\u2019re thinking, like, he doesn\u2019t like that person \u2013 or, he likes that person, or, you know \u2013 you put it onto him, so.\u00a0\u00a0Basically, that\u2019s how I act now \u2013 I just (twinch).\u00a0\u00a0Thank you.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 So, this question\u2019s for Joe.\u00a0\u00a0Um, so \u2013 at the end of the season finale\u00a0for Stargate<\/em>:\u00a0Atlantis<\/em>, uh, we didn\u2019t really get to hear \u2013 what is your interpretation of what happened to Todd?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Of what happens to Todd?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Well, you just kind of-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Todd actually goes to San Francisco.\u00a0\u00a0He starts working in a gay bar.\u00a0\u00a0And he\u2019s the-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Becomes a hairdresser.<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0–guy<\/span>,\u00a0ya\u00a0know \u2013 he\u2019s the most popular guy\u2026in that whole district.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Hairdresser.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, very successful.\u00a0\u00a0And then goes on to do a reality show as a hairdresser Wraith.<\/p>\n D \u2013 What does, what\u00a0does<\/em> happen to Todd?\u00a0\u00a0So many unanswered questions.\u00a0\u00a0We should do another season.\u00a0\u00a0(cheers)\u00a0\u00a0Hey, guys, I got twenty bucks!\u00a0\u00a0Atlantis \u2013 Season Six<\/em>.<\/p>\n J \u2013 You know, actually, if we can\u2019t afford to do it, we should just do a YouTube video with a bunch of answers.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cTodd went off to San Francisco.\u201d<\/p>\n D \u2013 And\u00a0shot (indistinct)<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u201cTeyla\u00a0had three more babies\u201d<\/p>\n D \u2013 (falsetto) Circle, circle\u00a0circle.\u00a0\u00a0(normal) Went on to become a big hit \u2013 she\u2019s now touring in Europe\u2026with\u00a0Alphaville.<\/p>\n J \u2013 How\u2019re you doing?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I\u2019m good.\u00a0\u00a0How\u2019re you?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Remember\u00a0Alphaville?\u00a0\u00a0Sorry.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Well, I love you both, but my question is for David.<\/p>\n D \u2013 So, you love us both, but you love me more?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I\u00a0identify<\/em> with you more.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, very good, I\u2019m so sorry for you.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Um, both my daughter and I have a citrus allergy-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Do you really have a citrus allergy?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Seriously.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I didn\u2019t even know you could have a citrus allergy.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 We didn\u2019t either, and when we found out \u2013 it\u2019s not a fun thing to have.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Should I ask what the symptoms are, or do we not want to know?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Well, your throat swells shut-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, you do \u2013 you get the whole swelling thing?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Anaphylactic shock, yeah.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Seriously?\u00a0\u00a0Do you have the little pen? (and\u00a0jabs his pretend\u00a0epipen\u00a0into his non-pretend thigh)<\/p>\n J \u2013 I have a lemon here \u2013 can we\u2026can we see?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Sure, why not?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Just for scientific purposes.\u00a0\u00a0Really, so\u2026\u00a0\u00a0(someone\u00a0in the crowd had a lemon, too. I suspect\u00a0darsynia.)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Good one.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Wave it around a little!\u00a0\u00a0This poor woman-<\/p>\n J \u2013 It\u2019s like a hand\u00a0grenade.\u00a0\u00a0(makes\u00a0whistling ‘incoming \u2019 sound)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 It\u2019s fine that way, but please don\u2019t peel it.\u00a0\u00a0(A – I won\u2019t, I promise!)\u00a0\u00a0But, we just wondered how did you come up with such an \u2026 odd allergy?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I didn\u2019t come up with it, they, they…I\u2019m telling you, they write this stuff.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m just so good it\u00a0looks<\/strong> like I had it.\u00a0\u00a0That\u00a0was, that\u2019s one of the things that they came up with \u2013 which I\u00a0\u00a0– that\u2019s very upstairs, that\u2019s those guys.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, I\u2019m sure that someone up there had something similar.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I wouldn\u2019t be surprised if Brad had a lemon allergy.<\/p>\n D \u2013 At the very least, they\u2019re picky eaters.\u00a0\u00a0And, um, you know, so \u2013 that\u2019s \u2013 to me,\u00a0that\u2019s\u00a0\u00a0what\u00a0I loved about, about Atlantis<\/em>\u2026and SG-1<\/em>, as well.\u00a0\u00a0Um, you know, it was all the cute little, little character-y bits, which I just really \u2013 which just sort of get thrown in there, but, really, to me \u2013 add up to a, you know, just a really fun kind of all-around character.\u00a0\u00a0And a hell of a lot of lemons.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 That happens in our life, as well.\u00a0\u00a0We have friends that will show up with,\u00a0ya\u00a0know, lemons-<\/p>\n D \u2013 A lemon meringue pie!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Yes.\u00a0\u00a0Or we go out to eat and they want water\u00a0with\u00a0lemon\u00a0,<\/em> and so, you know, we have to discourage them.\u00a0\u00a0And it was just kind of interesting-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Discourage them-<\/p>\n J \u2013 That\u2019s why you\u2019re also so neurotic, is that people are trying to get you.\u00a0\u00a0I see why you identify with him.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Why?\u00a0\u00a0What?\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s getting me\u00a0too?\u2026what\u00a0are\u00a0you<\/em> saying?\u00a0\u00a0Well, I\u2019m\u00a0sor-I\u2019m sorry you got stuck with that\u2026I just get to play it on television, I don\u2019t actually have \u2013 although, pineapple does make my lips swell up.\u00a0\u00a0(crickets)\u00a0\u00a0(announcer\u00a0voice)\u00a0And now, the history of the chair.\u00a0\u00a0(big\u00a0laughs)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Come see me.\u00a0\u00a0I have an\u00a0epi\u00a0with me today.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, great.\u00a0\u00a0Very good, very good.\u00a0\u00a0My\u00a0epi\u00a0expired, about 400 years ago\u2026but I still carry it around with me, and they laugh at me when I go through Security.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Like, dude, this is, like, says, like ,\u201986 on it.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u2018It\u2019s still good!\u2019<\/p>\n J\/D \u2013 Hello!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hi.\u00a0\u00a0This is a question for both of you.<\/p>\n J\/D \u2013 Okay\/Very wise, very wise.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 What was your favorite episode together?\u00a0\u00a0(Q is a young kid \u2013 8 to 10)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Together?\u00a0\u00a0(falls\u00a0out of his chair)\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s a rock star move!\u00a0\u00a0I meant to do that!\u00a0\u00a0Our favorite episodes together are the ones we\u2019re\u00a0not<\/span> together in.\u00a0\u00a0I like the, I always like those episodes where we\u2019re walking through the fields, talking.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh, yeah.\u00a0\u00a0Many fields, all resembling British Columbia.<\/p>\n D \u2013 The walk-and-talks in the fields were always funnier, and I enjoyed them.<\/p>\n J \u2013 And they were easy for him because he actually\u00a0doesn\u2019t<\/em> like fresh air.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I don\u2019t!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Or, you know, bugs-<\/p>\n D \u2013 I say, \u201cPave Nature\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m gonna get a little pin that says \u201cPave Nature\u201d.<\/p>\n J \u2013 We did, let\u2019s see \u2013 the funniest one, you know, we made a suggestion to, I made a suggestion to Brad early on-<\/p>\n D-\u00a0He<\/em> made a suggestion.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t suggest anything.<\/p>\n J – I said that we, we should\u00a0kinda\u00a0do a remake of \u2018The Road\u2019 shows with Bob Hope.\u00a0\u00a0You know \u2013 maybe not your time.\u00a0\u00a0(clears\u00a0throat \u2013 crowd laughs)<\/p>\n D \u2013 You remember them!\u00a0\u00a0(Joe laughs)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Bing Crosby and Bob Hope, and they would get in these ridiculous adventures, and have to-<\/p>\n D \u2013 You know\u2026Bob Hope.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Exactly! Bing Crosby?\u00a0\u00a0(imitates\u00a0Bing)\u00a0Heelllooo.\u00a0\u00a0Um, and-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Basically, old guys!\u00a0\u00a0Basically, we, they, he and I are now old guys, from old guy movies.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Being funny.\u00a0\u00a0And make young people laugh.\u00a0\u00a0But, um \u2013 we did, what did we do?\u00a0\u00a0We did a couple where, they really did that for a while, where we had a lot of banter back and forth, and then-<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u2018Cause we\u2019re not good at it.\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0demures)\u00a0\u00a0Banter.<\/p>\n J \u2013 So.\u00a0\u00a0We didn\u2019t\u00a0actua-,\u00a0we didn\u2019t give her a specific answer for her question!<\/p>\n D \u2013 I like the one with the little princess girl that we had to save.\u00a0\u00a0Mrrao-mrrr, what\u2019s is called?\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0shouts)\u00a0\u00a0Harmony<\/em>, yes.<\/p>\n J \u2013 She was good.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I was just testing.\u00a0\u00a0She was amazing.\u00a0\u00a0She was, actually, I\u2019d have to say, technically the best actor I\u2019ve ever worked with.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe\u2019s smile drops off abruptly) Like, technically \u2013 she was, like\u2026you know, there are better actors out-<\/p>\n J \u2013 That\u2019s because she didn\u2019t flip him off.<\/p>\n D \u2013 She would hit her mark every single time.\u00a0\u00a0She always knew her lines.<\/p>\n J \u2013 She made us look bad.<\/p>\n D \u2013 She know\u00a0our<\/em> lines, as well.\u00a0\u00a0She corrected me on lines.\u00a0\u00a0(taking-umbrage voice\u2026then conceding)\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Young lady\u2026you\u2019re right.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0It was amazing, so I would have to say, I would go with\u00a0Harmony<\/em> as one of my favorites.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, that was probably a good one.\u00a0\u00a0We\u2019ll go with that.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Have you seen\u00a0Harmony<\/em>?\u00a0\u00a0Yes?\u00a0\u00a0No?\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Cause she\u2019s about your age, I would guess.\u00a0\u00a0No, she\u2019s probably a bit younger.\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0says \u2018older\u2019)\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m guessing.\u00a0\u00a0Older?\u00a0\u00a0How old is she?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Is she in\u00a0Twilight<\/em> now?\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s a good actress.\u00a0\u00a0Well, she probably looks different.\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s probably quite a bit older-<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019m guessing she\u2019s grown up.\u00a0\u00a0If she hasn\u2019t, then that would be unfortunate.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe and crowd laugh) I know \u2013 we don\u2019t look any older.<\/p>\n J \u2013 See, she wasn\u2019t a kid \u2013 she was 35 years old.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (as a chain-smoking 35 year old)\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Okay, give me the script.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(as\u00a0Harmony)\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Hi, I\u2019m Harmony.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0laughs \u2013 Joe falls about in his chair)\u00a0\u00a0(back\u00a0to gravelly) \u2018Aw, cut!\u00a0\u00a0That was the worst take\u00a0eveh!\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0Q) Thank you.\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0crowd) Anyone got a smoke?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 David, we have a gift for you.\u00a0\u00a0(Q is a young girl \u2013 9 to 12)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, my god.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Oh my god.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Why do I get all the gifts?\u00a0\u00a0Thank you very much.\u00a0\u00a0(walking\u00a0off stage)<\/p>\n J \u2013 That\u2019s what I\u2019m asking.<\/p>\n D \u2013Is it alive?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 No, we completed it after we saw\u00a0A Dog\u2019s Breakfast<\/em>.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Something after you saw\u00a0A Dog\u2019s Breakfast<\/em>?\u00a0\u00a0Wha- uh, an\u00a0air sickness\u00a0bag?\u00a0\u00a0(takes\u00a0the brown paper bag)\u00a0\u00a0What is it?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Find out.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Can I open it now or do I have to wait for my birthday?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 You can open it now.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah!\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s, aw, it\u2019s great!\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s the\u00a0Froot\u00a0Loops in separate colors!\u00a0\u00a0(the\u00a0crowd goes wild)\u00a0\u00a0(thanks\u00a0her and shakes her hand)\u00a0\u00a0How long did it take you to do that?\u00a0\u00a030 minutes? That took long, too long.\u00a0\u00a0thank\u00a0you very much.<\/p>\n J –\u00a0That<\/em> is\u00a0funny<\/em>.<\/p>\n D \u2013 (walking back)\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s, like, probably \u2013 that\u2019s, like, free breakfast for, like, a week.\u00a0\u00a0Today is a \u201cPurple\u201d day. Thank you very much!\u00a0\u00a0Look at all of\u00a0my<\/strong> presents.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe ruefully nods his head.\u00a0\u00a0David gives his presents a\u00a0Vanna\u00a0White arm wave, then walks behind the chairs, seeking) Ooh, did yours fall off the-<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0Awright! (only\u00a0it came out more like \u2018Auooghm!\u2019)\u00a0\u00a0Yes!<\/p>\n D \u2013 (walks a few steps back, then returns and toes Joe\u2019s trophy, trying to knock it over)<\/p>\n J \u2013 AH!!\u00a0\u00a0(hops\u00a0up to save his Precious, and drops the handkerchief in his lap.\u00a0\u00a0Retrieves it as David comes back around to his seat.)<\/p>\n D \u2013 What\u2019s that?<\/p>\n J \u2013 (putting hanky in pocket) It\u2019s\u00a0gonna\u00a0take me a long time to recover from that.<\/p>\n D \u2013 You hold a tissue — what are you, a thousand years old?\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Uh, excuse me.\u2019 (mock\u00a0blows his nose into the mike and jams his invisible snot-filled\u00a0snotrag\u00a0into a pocket)<\/p>\n J \u2013 (pulls it out again, blows [quietly], wipes, and re-pockets)\u00a0\u00a0Ahh.\u00a0\u00a0I have-<\/p>\n D \u2013 The\u00a0only<\/strong> person I know who has a cloth tissue is, like, my\u00a0great-grandfather<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s the most unhygienic thing \u2013\u00a0there\u2019s germs\u00a0on that.\u00a0\u00a0Germs, germs, germs!<\/p>\n J \u2013 (surfer dude voice)\u00a0Environmentally\u00a0friendly, man.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m saving the environment, bro.<\/p>\n D \u2013 That is a (makes sounds in lieu of a curse word) Petri dish of terrorism!\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0and Joe crack up)\u00a0\u00a0Basically, an act of terrorism in your pocket.\u00a0\u00a0(flinches)\u00a0\u00a0And\u00a0it\u2019s wrong\u00a0as soon as I say it.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe gives his dirty chuckle)\u00a0\u00a0(smarmily) Is that an act of terrorism in your pocket\u2026or are you- (he can\u2019t continue \u2013 the crowd is rolling \u2013 and Joe sits up and reaches for the pocket)<\/p>\n J \u2013 (brandishing his pocket Petri)\u00a0\u00a0When\u00a0I want him to leave\u2026\u00a0\u00a0(David puts his hands up defensively and does some extreme leaning away) You think lemons are bad?\u00a0\u00a0(repeat\u00a0of brandish & defense\/leaning)<\/p>\n D \u2013 The plague!\u00a0\u00a0The plague!!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Maybe it\u2019ll make my hair grow.\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0Q) Do you have a serious question?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Um, favorite class-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Hey, \u201cDefault Setting \u2013 Sarcastic\u201d\u2026I like that!\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s what her t-shirt says.\u00a0\u00a0For those-<\/p>\n J \u2013 He can read.<\/p>\n D \u2013 -of you who can\u2019t read.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Favorite class in high school or college, and which one\u00a0were\u00a0you happy to sleep through?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019m going to go opposite of that.\u00a0\u00a0I slept through all of them, except\u2026\u00a0\u00a0I always liked English class \u2018cause I really like reading the books.\u00a0\u00a0But then, they wanted you to write about them.\u00a0\u00a0Why would you spoil a perfectly good book by making me write about it?\u00a0\u00a0I just would go and find other books by the authors I like, and read them, too, instead of doing the essay.\u00a0\u00a0Uh, I, I was so bad in school \u2013 I hated all of it, you know?\u00a0\u00a0And I regret it now, because there\u2019s so many things that I wish I could\u2019ve gone on to learn more about.\u00a0\u00a0(PSA voice) So, kids, stay in school.\u00a0\u00a0But, seriously, one of the\u00a0thi- as a kid it\u2019s so hard to have people tell you\u00a0you\u00a0should stay in school, \u2018cause at the time I just wanted \u2013 I was, like, well, I\u2019m going to be an actor.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t need to learn these\u00a0things,\u00a0I can just\u00a0pretend<\/em> to know them!\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0and Joe laugh)\u00a0\u00a0You know, and I remember my Economics teacher saying, like, (in a Daffy Duck-like voice) \u201cWait \u2018til you get a tax return!\u00a0\u00a0As a very famous actor and making lots money and the Tax Department comes to you and asks you to do your accounts.\u00a0\u00a0If you don\u2019t understand this, what are you going to do, Mr. Hewlett?\u00a0\u00a0What are you going to do, Mr. Hewlett?\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s going to hang around your neck like a stone on the neck of the albatross.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0And I was, like, \u201cWell, I\u2019d hire an accountant, dude.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0(big\u00a0laugh) But the reality is, I do wish, you don\u2019t know what you\u2019re going to want to know about, when you\u2019re older.\u00a0\u00a0And as you get older, you want to know more and more things, and if you don\u2019t have that background, you can\u2019t go \u2013 that\u2019s not open to you, and I miss that a lot.\u00a0\u00a0I read a lot of\u00a0\u2026For Dummies<\/span> books.\u00a0\u00a0But my favorite class was definitely English, I love \u2013 I just love books. I love \u2018em.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I liked English and History.\u00a0\u00a0I could actually, it was the only thing I actually could do, was read and write my way out of problems.\u00a0\u00a0But I couldn\u2019t do-<\/p>\n D \u2013 La\u00a0di\u00a0da\u00a0di\u00a0do (Joe chuckles)<\/p>\n J \u2013 -the math and science.\u00a0\u00a0The math and science I had a little harder time with, for sure.\u00a0\u00a0And I did get a large Geometry book thrown at me – by the teacher, once -that did make contact.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, and he felt really bad after it hit me, too, you could tell.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t think he meant to \u2013 he was just so mad because I was asleep.\u00a0\u00a0Gah!!\u00a0\u00a0(mimes\u00a0throwing)\u00a0\u00a0It hit, it went (contact sound, then Joe sits up \u2013 awake now)\u00a0\u00a0Ohhh!\u00a0\u00a0Um, yeah.\u00a0\u00a0I was the bane of many teachers\u2019 existence.\u00a0\u00a0They will, still, regale you with their stories of Joe.\u00a0\u00a0Just, like, horror stories for their other kids\u2026 \u201cAnd, then, Joe did this.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Uh, and, you know, I would get myself into a lot of trouble.\u00a0\u00a0And, I remember, for example, once my, the janitor came out-<\/p>\n D \u2013 He was teaching, what?\u00a0\u00a0Life?\u00a0\u00a0Geometry?<\/p>\n J \u2013 He came up, and, uh, the school was flooding.\u00a0\u00a0There was water, that came down the hallway and started going into the classrooms.-<\/p>\n D \u2013 This is not a good janitor.<\/p>\n J \u2013 And he, he didn\u2019t even, he didn\u2019t even bother, he came in with such, like, this defeated face, but he just walked into our class and he goes, \u201cCan I see Joe and Chris, please?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0And we just got up like it was, like we\u2019d been through this before \u2013 and, yeah, we were the guys who flooded the school.\u00a0\u00a0It was, you know, it\u2019s true – we thought it was pretty funny.\u00a0\u00a0Um, so again \u2013 trouble to be had.\u00a0\u00a0And, then, uh \u2013 but we\u2026 If I got into trouble, so what?\u00a0\u00a0My favorite little gimmick was, well, I wasn\u2019t doing the homework, so finally they said \u2013 \u2018You\u2019re leaving the class with the books, and by the time you get from class to the parking lot, your parents are going to see the books, \u2018cause we sent them a memo, that says that you have homework.\u00a0\u00a0Well, they didn\u2019t realize there was a garbage can.\u00a0\u00a0And, so, my buddy Chris and I would, like, walk out and be, like, (donk) and throw them in the garbage can.\u00a0\u00a0Get to the parking lot, and, of course, we didn\u2019t have any books.\u00a0\u00a0This went on for, like, a month, and everything was working out just wonderfully, until they changed the garbage schedule.\u00a0\u00a0So, when we got back the next morning, we\u2019d take the books out of the garbage, and go back in the class with the books, but, one day they were gone.\u00a0\u00a0So our foil was, uh, uncovered.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I just remember the math books \u2013 when you went, you went from the math books that didn\u2019t have the answers in the back to the ones that had the answers in the back.\u00a0\u00a0I remember the first day in class going, \u201cGuys, guys!\u00a0\u00a0Look in the back of the book!\u00a0\u00a0I got the teacher\u2019s one!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0(thumbs\u00a0up)\u00a0\u00a0I was so excited, I thought, like, this is it!\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m done for the whole season.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, whatever it\u2019s called. And I thought I had \u2013 I\u2019m, like, \u201cI\u2019ve got the wrong book!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Sad.\u00a0\u00a0So sad.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cHow did you work it out\u201d \u201cIt\u2019s in the back of the book.\u00a0\u00a0I just wrote that answer down.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s what you want me to do.\u201d<\/p>\n J \u2013 I, I, obviously regaling everybody with our\u00a0high<\/em> aspirations, deep academic inclinations\u2026yeah.\u00a0\u00a0Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 What was it like working with (indistinct)?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Which I was working with what?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Amanda Tapping.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Ah, Amanda.\u00a0\u00a0She is, I still say it,\u00a0she\u2019s\u00a0the reason why McKay is who McKay is.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Cause she, you know, was just so welcoming and lovely when I did that episode of SG:1<\/em>\u00a0that, I, \u2026if it had been another actress, you know, they don\u2019t have to be that nice to you.\u00a0\u00a0Often you go on a set as a guest star and they don\u2019t, you know \u2013 they, they just \u2018Yeah, yeah, whatever.\u00a0\u00a0Say your lines\u2019 and off they go.\u00a0\u00a0She was just so welcoming and, you know, helped me work stuff out, and-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Just don\u2019t ask her what it was like working with Hewlett.<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u2018Who?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0So, um, I just loved it, and she really is, she\u2019s a one of a kind.\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s just-<\/p>\n J \u2013 She\u2019s\u00a0unperturbable.\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s, uh, you know, one of those incredibly affable \u2013 you know, it\u2019s hard.\u00a0\u00a0I tried desperately to mess with her, and I couldn\u2019t do it.\u00a0\u00a0Frustrating.\u00a0\u00a0I was, like, \u2018God, she\u2019s gotta have a weakness somewhere \u2013 I\u2019ll find it.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll exploit it.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ll make her\u00a0crazy<\/em>.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0No way.\u00a0\u00a0She was, \u201cHi!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u201cHi, Joe!\u201d<\/p>\n D \u2013 She\u2019s just an absolute professional.\u00a0\u00a0Unbelievable. I mean, it\u2019s just\u2026 She really liked me, and, also, just as an actress \u2013 she\u2019s somehow managed to keep a career going.\u00a0\u00a0Because in this, in this industry it\u2019s not an industry that\u2019s kind to women, in any way, shape, or form.\u00a0\u00a0And she\u2019s just been so smart about it \u2013 she\u2019s unstoppable.\u00a0\u00a0The unstoppable Amanda Tapping.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hello.\u00a0\u00a0I have a question for each of you.<\/p>\n D \u2013 A\u00a0DeLorean\u00a0and<\/em> a\u00a0Tardis?\u00a0 (Q is grammarwoman)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 A\u00a0DeLorean\u00a0runs\u00a0into<\/em> the\u00a0Tardis.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Ah.\u00a0\u00a0I see.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 It\u2019s a\u00a0Woot\u00a0shirt.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s a what?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 A\u00a0Woot\u00a0shirt.<\/p>\n D \u2013 A\u00a0Woot\u00a0shirt? What\u2019s a\u00a0Woot?\u00a0\u00a0(someone\u00a0hoots)\u00a0\u00a0I take it back.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Okay, so \u2013 for Joe (David drops his head back and closes his eyes in exasperation), do you ever wish that they had explored Sheppard\u2019s connection to Atlantis?\u00a0\u00a0(Joe misses the question through pulling out his hanky and waving it in David\u2019s face)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Sorry, what?\u00a0\u00a0Explore what?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Sheppard\u2019s connection to Atlantis through his Ancient gene, more?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, no, we could\u2019ve done a lot more of those stories, \u2018cause Atlantis was massive city, right?\u00a0\u00a0And why aren\u2019t we exploring this massive city?\u00a0\u00a0Well, it wasn\u2019t\u00a0that<\/em> massive.<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u2018Cause they hadn\u2019t built it.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe nods)\u00a0\u00a0Joe! Joe, it\u2019s not real.\u00a0\u00a0(indistinct)<\/p>\n J \u2013 (stoner voice) What\u2019re you\u00a0talkin\u2019 about, man?\u00a0\u00a0This place is\u00a0huuuge!\u00a0\u00a0Um-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Where the hell\u2019s the bathroom?!<\/p>\n J \u2013 We did joke that there, that they built no bathrooms in Atlantis.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s very odd.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Just pee into the gate.\u00a0\u00a0And then flush.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe makes a flushing sound)\u00a0\u00a0Ka-woosh!<\/p>\n J \u2013 It\u2019s a low-flow toilet.<\/p>\n D \u2013 The most expensive toilet in the universe.<\/p>\n J \u2013 How\u2019s the other side of\u00a0that<\/strong> wormhole?\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Look, it\u2019s higher life forms.\u2019 (mimes\u00a0getting the flush across the face, shaking it off, and wiping his face)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Somewhere in a field in British Columbia \u2026 there\u2019s a whole\u00a0lotta\u00a0\u2013 anyway!\u00a0\u00a0(big\u00a0laugh)<\/p>\n Q \u2013 And, then, for David-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Thank you!<\/p>\n Q – -who would you line up for at a convention and what would you want to ask them?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (ponders)\u00a0Who\u00a0would you line up for at a convention and what would you want to ask for?<\/p>\n Crowd \u2013 Ask them!<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, ask?\u00a0\u00a0Ooh, I\u2019m sorry.<\/p>\n J \u2013 He\u2019s a stalker, too.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I was gonna, I\u2019d ask for money.\u00a0\u00a0Hmm, I, that\u2019s really tough.\u00a0\u00a0It would have to be Tom Baker.\u00a0\u00a0And what would I ask him?\u00a0\u00a0\u201cWould you like a\u00a0jellybaby?\u201d Like he\u2019s never got that, I\u2019m sure.\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t know \u2013 that\u2019s interesting.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, as a kid I got Darth Vader and C3PO\u2019s signature.\u00a0\u00a0Um, you know, but, they didn\u2019t, conventions weren\u2019t\u00a0\u00a0– they hadn\u2019t really sorted that out, when I was, back I was a child. Um, nowadays, I don\u2019t know \u2013 probably Robert\u00a0Pattinson.\u00a0\u00a0Ask him for, like, his hair trimmer.\u00a0\u00a0Why they don\u2019t put makeup\u00a0all over<\/em> his face?\u00a0\u00a0Just, white face \u2013 just a white-faced little man.<\/p>\n J \u2013 What about Chuck Campbell?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (revelation face) I\u2019d go see Chuck.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I\u2019d go see Chuck.\u00a0\u00a0Everybody\u2019s like, \u2018Who is it?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0You said \u2026 The\u00a0Chucknician\u00a0\u2013 we called\u00a0him\u00a0\u00a0Chucknician.<\/p>\n D \u2013 He was fantastic.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Started as an extra, and he kept doing some lines-<\/p>\n D \u2013 He\u2019s amazing!\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s a great, just \u2013 he\u2019s, like, a funny guy!<\/p>\n J \u2013 He does a good Joe imitation. (crowd\u00a0murmurs agreement)\u00a0\u00a0(sotto\u00a0voce) Bastard.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Who\u00a0doesn\u2019t<\/em> do a good Joe imitation?<\/p>\n J \u2013 (to Q) How are you?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (to ex-Q) Thank you.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 What do you have coming up?<\/p>\n D \u2013 I\u2019m in my \u2018monk\u2019 phase, having just done\u00a0Evil Snow Monkeys<\/em> in Bulgaria, and \u2026 another movie that might have monkeys in them, which, uh \u2013 yeah.\u00a0\u00a0So, I\u2019ve been\u00a0monkeyed\u00a0out.\u00a0\u00a0The Bulgarian movie I\u2019m not sure.\u00a0\u00a0I directed than, I had a role in that, and they\u2019re in post-production on that.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m doing some work on that in LA, I\u2019m not sure when it \u2013 it\u2019s probably going to be a good year on that.\u00a0\u00a0And\u00a0Rise of the Apes<\/em> I think is scheduled to come out the middle of next year.\u00a0\u00a0Uh,\u00a0Rise of the Apes<\/em> which I\u00a0might<\/span> be in \u2013 so, for which they made me sign non-disclosures at every \u2026 basically, whenever I got handed sides, I would have to sign something saying that I wouldn\u2019t say that I\u2019d just got sides. And all the scripts have\u00a0my<\/em> name on them.\u00a0\u00a0Well, the ones that they gave me, anyway.\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Wow, I feel so important!\u00a0\u00a0All, the scripts have my name\u2026in them.\u00a0I must have a really big role.\u2019\u00a0\u00a0Nope, they just, they watermark them all.<\/p>\n J \u2013 And you know why they do that \u2026 because they\u2019ve [heard stories?] about David Hewlett.<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u201cHey!\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s not MY script!\u201d<\/p>\n Q \u2013 And your upcoming roles, Joe?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Let\u2019s see, what do I have-<\/p>\n D \u2013 It was that\u00a0felony,\u00a0wasn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yes. I\u2019m up for parole.\u00a0\u00a0Um, no \u2013 the movie, I did a movie with Hal Holbrook, Robert Patrick, and \u2013 who else is in it?\u00a0\u00a0Robert\u00a0Englund, Christian Kane- (crowd hoots)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Who?\u00a0\u00a0Who is that?<\/p>\n J \u2013 He\u2019s in\u00a0Leverage<\/em>.<\/p>\n D \u2013 What?<\/p>\n J –\u00a0Leverage<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0And, that \u2013 we hope will come out-<\/p>\n D \u2013 in July<\/p>\n J \u2013 -sometime early next year.\u00a0\u00a0Then, uh, I just did a movie in Ireland, which was only slightly better than the snow monkey movie.\u00a0\u00a0Um, but that was a lot of fun.\u00a0\u00a0And, um, I play a Marine Colonel\u2026who gets trapped in another dimension.<\/p>\n D \u2013 How on earth did you do that?\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s a stretch for you.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yes, and it was\u00a0very Stargate<\/em>-like \u2013 so some people may like that because it is\u2026somewhat reminiscent of our world \u2013 Stargate<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0And then, I\u2019m going to do a two hour movie\/pilot where I play an Air Force pilot, but I don\u2019t get to save the universe.\u00a0\u00a0Instead, I get to raise four adopted children \u2013 which is much harder.\u00a0\u00a0I, uh, the \u2013 let\u2019s see who\u2019s in it\u2026the one lady from the\u00a0\u00a0– Brooke White, who\u2019s\u00a0American Idol<\/em> girl, plays my wife.\u00a0\u00a0Why?\u00a0\u00a0She\u2019s half my age \u2013 this\u2019ll work out real well.<\/p>\n D \u2013 No, Joe!\u00a0\u00a0Half?\u00a0\u00a0C\u2019mon, now!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Thanks, David.<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s a quarter.\u00a0\u00a0(laughter)\u00a0\u00a0She actually looks like his daughter.\u00a0\u00a0I find it very, wildly\u00a0unappropriate.\u00a0\u00a0Or, even \u2013 inappropriate, depending or not on if you want a-<\/p>\n J \u2013 It\u2019s a good premise, it\u2019s a good script, and, uh, we hope that it turns out well.\u00a0\u00a0I mean, that would theoretically evolve into a\u00a0tv\u00a0series.\u00a0\u00a0Um, but then, again, it may not.\u00a0\u00a0A lot of pilots don\u2019t get picked up.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Especially if they got Joe in \u2018em.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (chuckles)\u00a0\u00a0They\u2019re, uh\u2026I\u2019ll kill him later.\u00a0\u00a0And, so, we\u2019ll see.\u00a0\u00a0And the odds of us revisiting, uh, you know, a science-fiction related series are still pretty strong.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Thank you.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Thank you.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 I\u2019m sorry, David, this one\u2019s for Joe.<\/p>\n D \u2013 [something about it\u2019s no better than\u00a0GateWorld?]<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Joe, one of the very first credited gigs that you had was back in 1994, for a video game that I actually owned,\u00a0called\u00a0\u00a0Surgical\u00a0Strike-<\/p>\n J \u2013 What\u2019s is called?\u00a0\u00a0Surgical Strike?<\/p>\n D \u2013 It\u2019s, like, some doctors that have to do something?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 It was on the Sega\u00a0cd-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, Sega!\u00a0\u00a0(a\u00a0la the commercial)\u00a0\u00a0SEGA!!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 -my question being, compared to once you got roles in\u00a0Sisters<\/em> and\u00a0Profiler<\/em>, what was the production like on a project like that, as opposed to something more mainstream.<\/p>\n J \u2013 Actually, the budget\u2019s pretty high on those kinds of things.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, those video games, they pump a lot on money into them.\u00a0\u00a0So they\u2019re not cutting any corners.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s, in some ways like shooting a series, but the only thing is, it\u2019s not quite as satisfying because you\u2019re just repeating scenarios, a lot of times.\u00a0\u00a0And, uh-<\/p>\n D \u2013 \u201cLet\u2019s go left.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u201cLet\u2019s go left!\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s go right.\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s go right!\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s go forward!\u201d \u201cLet\u2019s go forward.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0(defeated\u00a0tone) \u201cLet\u2019s go back.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0(sigh)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Make up your\u00a0frikkin\u2019 mind!\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0Joe) I could do it!<\/p>\n J \u2013 (nods) But, I\u00a0gotta\u00a0tell you, though, I\u2019ve been in discussion with these two people (holds up two fingers) about doing video games, (David apes it) because I\u00a0like<\/em> the idea of doing a video game.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah! Yeah!<\/p>\n J \u2013 I like the idea of being a video character-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Yeah! Yeah!\u00a0\u00a0(more\u00a0vociferous, nodding at Joe and at Q)<\/p>\n J \u2013 -I think that\u2019d be kind of cool.\u00a0\u00a0Some of the actors\u00a0kinda\u00a0get freaked out by it-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Not me!\u00a0\u00a0Not me!<\/p>\n J \u2013 -but I was, like\u2026(trails off in the face of David\u2019s very enthusiastic face)\u00a0\u00a0So, um, and, I, I don\u2019t know, I think video games are entirely cool.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s just, the whole model\u2019s been turned upside down, because originally, it was, like, a successful series or movie \u2013 we\u2019ll make a video game.\u00a0\u00a0Well, now it\u2019s the opposite.\u00a0\u00a0Because video games don\u2019t need the movie business anymore.\u00a0\u00a0They make so much money on their own-<\/p>\n D \u2013 They make more money!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Much more money.\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, they\u2019re making \u2013 it\u2019s a killer business.\u00a0\u00a0So, uh-<\/p>\n Q \u2013 And if you ever get a chance to go back and actually see it online, it\u2019s ironic.\u00a0\u00a0The game was made back in 1994, and it was done by a company called\u00a0Stargate\u00a0Studios.<\/p>\n D\/J \u2013 Really!\/Reeaally?\u00a0\u00a0But why would they-<\/p>\n D \u2013 You are\u00a0such<\/em> a nerd.\u00a0\u00a0(crowd\u00a0laughs and claps)\u00a0\u00a0And you know I mean that as a compliment.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 (something about Twitter)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, yes.\u00a0\u00a0Joe\u2019s on Twitter. For gods sakes, get over it, people!\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ve been there for\u00a0years<\/strong>!\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019ve been in, I\u2019ve been\u2026 (splutters\u00a0to a stop) I\u2019m sorry, you had a question?<\/p>\n J \u2013 I\u2019d like to thank David for helping me get on Twitter, but anyways.\u00a0\u00a0Go ahead.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 You have in your bio about being a failed model.\u00a0\u00a0Are you?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Well, look at him!\u00a0\u00a0He doesn\u2019t have to write that down.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe makes Blue Steel)<\/p>\n J \u2013 (a la\u00a0Zoolander)\u00a0Well, you know.\u00a0\u00a0This is my Blue Steel-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Is that your mouth?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Actually, you know what?\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s my\u00a0Zoolander, a little. (to\u00a0David) That\u2019s not good?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (shaking his head)\u00a0\u00a0Not\u00a0good.\u00a0\u00a0Your lips do a weird thing when you do that.<\/p>\n J \u2013 The\u2026abo-digitals\u2026?\u00a0\u00a0(to\u00a0David) Help?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (stoner<\/span> model voice) Oh.\u00a0\u00a0Gulagee.\u00a0\u00a0The\u00a0eulagogy? (yule-ah-gah-gee)\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m only here for\u00a0a\u00a0\u00a0eulagogy?<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, that was pretty much a joke.\u00a0\u00a0I guess it wasn\u2019t very funny.\u00a0\u00a0I never modeled, but I would if I could.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 But you did do a Pepsi commercial, with-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Well, yeah-<\/p>\n D \u2013 You did a Pepsi commercial?!\u00a0\u00a0Were you the little doggie?<\/p>\n J \u2013 That was\u00a0Pepsi<\/em>, pal.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh,\u00a0Pepsi<\/span>.<\/p>\n J \u2013\u00a0Pepsi<\/strong><\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, yeah, with Cindy Crawford.\u00a0\u00a0Whatever!\u00a0\u00a0Who\u2019s heard of her?!<\/p>\n J \u2013 That\u2019s how I got my SAG card.\u00a0\u00a0I think I said, (breathlessly) \u201cWould you like a movie?\u00a0\u00a0Cindy?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I don\u2019t even know, I can\u2019t remember what it was, but, um,\u00a0\u00a0it\u00a0was, I did a bunch of commercials.\u00a0\u00a0Commercials are a great to pay, you know, my bills. (to\u00a0David)\u00a0\u00a0She walked through\u2026\u2018Watch the wall!\u2019<\/em> Told\u00a0ya\u00a0I\u2019m not crazy.\u00a0\u00a0Okay, um, yes.\u00a0\u00a0So commercials are good.\u00a0\u00a0You know, they treat you relatively well \u2013 they\u2019re just not that film.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 So you never modeled?<\/p>\n J \u2013 What\u2019s that?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 (repeats)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Never, I was never a model-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Let\u2019s be clear.\u00a0\u00a0Joe was\u00a0never<\/strong> a model.\u00a0\u00a0(Joe sighs and shakes his head)\u00a0\u00a0I was a \u201cBefore\u201d model.\u00a0\u00a0I did a lot of \u2018before\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0You know, they always made me stand in front of the dullest backgrounds.\u00a0\u00a0And they\u2019d never let you look happy.\u00a0\u00a0You notice that?\u00a0\u00a0They\u2019re always miserable looking, and then, suddenly, when they\u2019ve got someone else\u2019s body attached to that head, they look so happy.<\/p>\n J \u2013 No, I didn\u2019t, I didn\u2019t.\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019ve forced me into a corner, I\u2019ve got \u2013 I\u2019ve never been a model.\u00a0\u00a0(sniff\u00a0and\u00a0sad!Joe\u00a0face)<\/p>\n D \u2013 There\u2019s still time.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Depends is looking for a new spokesperson.<\/p>\n J \u2013 (to Q) Hi, how are you?<\/p>\n D \u2013 (as spokesperson) I love the security that Depends\u2026.gives\u00a0me.\u00a0\u00a0(contented\u00a0guy peeing!face in the pause) (Joe and crowd crack up)\u00a0\u00a0(David laughs) I just made that up!<\/p>\n J \u2013 Yeah, I know you did.\u00a0\u00a0The sad thing is, you\u2019re going to be doing them, shortly.<\/p>\n D \u2013 I just got hired!<\/p>\n J \u2013 How are you doing?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hi.\u00a0\u00a0My question is for David \u2013 sorry, Joe.\u00a0\u00a0But in the episode where you have the girl caught in your head, how man, how long did it take you to memorize the scene where you\u2019re argue with yourself?<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, my god, like, forever.\u00a0\u00a0I,\u00a0like, literally – my weekends were spent talking to myself.\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s not \u2026 that different than every weekend, but, you know.\u00a0\u00a0And my wife has learned to tune that out.\u00a0\u00a0She thought I was running lines.\u00a0Yeah, uh, forever.\u00a0\u00a0Forever.\u00a0\u00a0Like, it\u2019s just, it, it\u2019s, yeah\u2026\u00a0\u00a0It was, and it was great, it was fantastic, it was the kind of opportunity you get, like, once in a lifetime. Um, but, uh, at the same time it\u2019s just, yeah \u2013 learning that many lines is insane, it\u2019s insane.\u00a0\u00a0And, plus, you know, the way we shoot \u2013 we\u2019re shooting so bloody fast, that it\u2019s like, \u2018Great!\u00a0\u00a0You got some of the lines right and you were standing partially in camera\u2026perfect, let\u2019s move on!\u2019\u00a0\u00a0Yeah, definitely, lots of \u2013 I have to look at things over and o-, like, to the, until \u2013 if I don\u2019t have it totally memorized the day that I show up, I am in\u00a0soo\u00a0much trouble.\u00a0\u00a0So, I live in fear of \u2013 I have nightmares, I still have nightmares about getting on set and going (deer in headlights, morphing into fish gasping for air)\u00a0\u00a0\u2018Line?\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 You know what could happen in, there\u2019ll be this flood, this unrelenting diatribe of, of, of\u00a0old Stargate<\/em> dialogue that\u2019s going to come out, next, next film you\u2019re on.<\/p>\n D \u2013 [that could generate anything!]\u00a0\u00a0\u2018What are you talking about?\u2019<\/p>\n J \u2013 \u2018This is\u00a0Planet of the\u00a0Apes,<\/em> pal \u2013 what\u2019s going on?<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Thank you.<\/p>\n D \u2013 Thank you.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Who\u2019s the-<\/p>\n J \u2013 Who\u2019s the?\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s the jerk!<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Are you considered the Mr. Fixit around the house?<\/p>\n (Joe points to David and himself, asking who the question is for)<\/p>\n D \u2013 Who, me?!\u00a0\u00a0My wife takes power tools away from me.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m not allowed to do anything, I clear nothing.\u00a0\u00a0I always say, like, you know, well – demolition is really just breaking things, Honey, and how hard can that be? And, then it\u2019s, you just get that blank look of, like \u2013 and, then all of a sudden there\u2019s someone wrecking your house for you. Not me.<\/p>\n J \u2013 I do a lot of fixing because my three boys, they do a lot of demolition work.\u00a0\u00a0And then when I fix things I make them say, \u201cIsn\u2019t that the greatest Daddy in the world?\u00a0\u00a0Or the smartest Daddy in the world?\u00a0Now say it twice.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0Uh, and, if it is a,\u00a0\u00a0(David waves at somebody) good fore-mew-a-laa\u00a0(it\u2019s \u2018formula\u2019, but he said it funky and rising at the end, while trying to block David\u2019s wave).\u00a0\u00a0So, anyway \u2013 so, um\u2026yeah, no, I try to fix things as much as I can.\u00a0\u00a0Whatever.<\/p>\n D \u2013 My son does a better job of fixing things than I do.\u00a0\u00a0My son will come in and reorganize the room after I\u2019ve been in it.\u00a0\u00a0He\u2019s\u00a0two<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cNo, Daddy.\u00a0\u00a0No, Daddy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0And things get piled up.\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m, like, \u201cJesus, you\u2019re your mother\u2019s son.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0What did you get of me?\u00a0\u00a0And then he\u2019ll start doing, like, a fake death sequence and you go, Oh, that part.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019ll be useful.\u00a0\u00a0\u201cLook, Daddy.\u00a0\u00a0I fell down the stairs.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0(sound\u00a0effects for the fall)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0I said, \u201cBaz, you\u2019re just supposed to\u00a0pretend<\/em> to fall down the stairs.”\u00a0\u00a0It\u2019s my favorite, he went to school, like, one of the first days of school, he shows up and they\u2019re like, \u201cWhat\u2019d you do this weekend?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u201cI fell down the stairs and Daddy couldn\u2019t catch me in time.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0I\u2019m, like\u2026 (shrug\u00a0and a David face).\u00a0\u00a0The best one was when my little sister, who\u2019s the \u2026 most uptight Hewlett, believe it or not, um.\u00a0\u00a0Jenny, and she took her kid to school, which is in London, England, and they were talking about, you know, let\u2019s do \u2018What\u2019s Mommy look like when she\u2019s happy?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(happy\u00a0face),\u00a0\u00a0\u2018What\u2019s Mommy look like when she\u2019s sad?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(sad\u00a0face), \u2018What\u2019s Mommy look like when she\u2019s angry?\u2019\u00a0\u00a0(gesticulations\u00a0and a mouthed \u2018Fucker!\u2019)\u00a0\u00a0And the\u00a0teacher\u2019s,\u00a0like\u2026 (agog).\u00a0\u00a0Side topic.<\/p>\n Hello.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 Hello.\u00a0\u00a0I have enjoyed\u00a0A Dog\u2019s Breakfast<\/em> often-<\/p>\n D \u2013 Oh, thank you very much.\u00a0\u00a0That\u2019s\u00a0A Dog\u2019s Breakfast<\/em>, a film that I\u2019m so (indistinct)<\/p>\n J \u2013 Thank you.<\/p>\n Q \u2013 This question is for both of you.\u00a0\u00a0Will you guys be on either\u00a0Sanctuary<\/em> or\u00a0