TITLE: I Never Can
(Part 1 of 1 parts)
NAME: frogdoggie
E-MAIL: frogdoggie@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: VA
RATING: G, yup you heard it right folks!
SUMMARY: Skinner muses after the events in S. R. 819 FEEDBACK? LOVE IT - FEEL FREE TO E-MAIL ME.
TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: S.R. 819
KEYWORDS: vignette angst Skinner G
DISCLAIMER: No one belongs to me. They belong to CC. You know the drill.

Authors Note: This was an XAPEN exclusive premiere. I wrote this very short vignette for two fellow author's, Sergeeva and Halrloprillalar "Hal", as an early birthday gift. They have been kind enough to allow me to post it.

I Never Can by frogdoggie

In the cover of office darkness...

When I lay in extremis I looked up into his intense, haunted hazel eyes and I thought...

This is my friend. I love him...

I need...I can't voice my need. I never can.

In the revealing sterile hospital light...

When I lay dying I looked up into her intense, compassionate blue eyes and I thought...

This is my friend. I love her...

I need...I need to apologize for my past failures to aid them in the quest. To tell her I don't want to die in vain - my life wasted. And I did tell her. I meant it. I hope she will tell him of my need to make amends. I can't. I never can.

In the darkness that pretends to be the light of day...

When I sat, healed, quite miraculously it seemed...

I looked into the eyes of my friends, my only friends. My possible avenging angels and...I cast them out. I need...I feel...oh yes I feel now. I feel like a traitor, betrayer, desecrator. I feel like I want to die. But I can't...can I?

In the darkness that is the darkness of my soul...

When I sat, close to defeat...

I thought...

I looked into the green eyes of the devil...and I need...the strength of my friends. And I know I'll never go down without a fight. I never can.

-The End-