Slave of My Heart: Lost

Slave of My Heart – Part 4: Lost


Chapter 1

Fox

We traveled home in easy stages for which I was grateful since my
backside was tender from both the warming it had received and our
reconciliation afterward.  Lord Walter was silent for the first
part of our journey, a fact that I attributed to his leave-taking
from his brother.  The king had not been pleased to lose his
company three days early and his dark glance at me had left no
doubt as to whom he blamed for his brother's change of plans.  I
had seen the conflict of desires on my master's face, his sorrow
at giving his brother pain mixed with eagerness to be away from
Court, and thought that King Jeffrey deliberately made it harder
for Lord Walter.  It wasn't as if the King was alone – he had a
wife and a son and scores of nobles ready to fawn on him at a
lift of his finger – so I thought he should behave more
graciously towards his brother.  Perhaps I was being
uncharitable, perhaps the King had secret sorrows that I was
unaware of and only his brother could ease, but I was not
inclined to be particularly charitable towards the man who had
taken away my freedom and would have no compunction about handing
me over to a monster like Sir John, the Earl of Spender.

So it was with a light heart that I rode through the open gate of
the Town and on the road towards home.  My friends knew I was
well and would continue to search for my sister.  Prince Gibson
had found a moment before I left to assure me that all was well
with him and that the dreaded tutor had been discharged.  My
master and I were reconciled and closer than ever.  And we were
heading home.

By the end of the first day, the brooding look had gradually left
Lord Walter's face and he abandoned his solitary riding to take
up a place beside me.  I knew that my face reflected my pleasure
at his presence beside me, and he indulged me with some tales
about his youth.  I know he saw the wistful look on my face as he
talked about traveling about the Continent and he reached out to
touch my knee affectionately.

"When the situation here becomes more stable, you and I shall do
some traveling.  Would you like that, cub?"

"Oh, yes!" I said eagerly.  "I've read about so many wonderful
places but, until recently, never traveled further than my home. 
Where would we go?"

"Italy – there are many interesting cities to see there.  Greece,
if we can manage that."  He smiled over at me, a wicked twinkle
in his eyes.  "I would love to spend some time with you on one of
the smaller Greek islands.  It's so warm that the natives run
around with little clothing – perhaps we could get a little color
on that pale skin of yours."

I flushed at the idea of running around nearly naked in public,
equally aroused and embarrassed at the idea.  Lord Walter laughed
and leaned closer, murmuring, "You blush so beautifully, my cub.
Such a contrast between my shy slave in public and my wanton
bedmate."

I know that the flush on my face intensified.  "I -want to please
you, Master."

"You do please me, Fox.  You please me very much.  And it's not
very noble of me to tease you like this."

"I don't mind," I said honestly.  "I'd rather have your company
than anyone else's - even when you tease or scold or -or punish
me."

He looked at me with a curious expression and said, slowly, "I
don't believe that I have even been so flattered."

I looked down at my horse's neck.  "I doubt that, Master.  I was
not raised in the Court.  I don't have the honeyed words or fine
manners of the lords and ladies."

"Thank the gods for that."  Lord Walter's voice was gruff and I
was worried that he was angry with me.  "I like you as you are,
my Fox - honest, natural, open.  A bit impulsive and headstrong,
which gets you into trouble, but I'd rather have that than some
insincere Court slut looking to engender favors or enhance their
standing by submitting to my caresses."

There was sadness as well as a hint of bitterness to his words
and my heart ached for him.  "Master, it is no trial to me to
submit in that way."

His face softened at that and he squeezed my knee.  "I know, my
heart, and if this weren't an open road, I would reward that
declaration appropriately.  As it is, my thanks will have to wait
till we can be more private."

I flushed again, this time from heat instead of embarrassment.
"Yes, Master," I murmured.  "How -how soon till we stop for the
night?"

He chuckled and released my knee.  "Too long by far, and I think
I had best ride apart for awhile before I forget myself."  He
urged his horse forward to join Captain Scully at the head of the
column.  My eyes followed him the entire way and I found myself
looking forward to the night.

**************

We rode into the courtyard of Beauforte late the next afternoon. 
I breathed a sigh of relief as I came out of the saddle.  Two
days riding had not been kind to my abused backside although Lord
Walter had refused to add to my discomfort by taking me during
the previous night's halt, and had instead pleasured me with hand
and mouth.  I flushed, remembering that, and could hardly wait to
be back in our own bed again. 

Lord Walter must have seen my blush because he smiled and put an
arm around me.  "Head on to our rooms and get your bath.  William
will get my bags."

"I'm fine," I protested.

"Which is why you've been wincing every time we hit a rough spot
in the road," he said with a mock growl.  "Go to, brat.  I'll be
along shortly."

With a nod, I headed to the bathing chamber and stripped off
travel-stained garments before sinking into the gently bubbling
water with a blissful sigh.  It was good to be home.  No matter
how nice it had been to see my old friends, I couldn't help but
feel sad and uneasy in Town, and it was a relief to be safe
within these walls.  I closed my eyes and relaxed in the warm
water.

A moment later, I felt someone shake me and muttered, "G'way."

"Fox, love, don't fall asleep here.  Lord Walter will be sore
vexed if you drown."

"Maggie?"  I managed to open an eye and smiled to see her
familiar face.

"Aye, my lad, and I'm glad to see you home safe and sound."  She
set a plate of meat pies on the floor by the bathing pool.  "It's
been too quiet around here without you."

"Unjust, Maggie," I said.  "I haven't caused that much trouble."

"Are you going to tell me that you didn't get into trouble while
you were gone?" she said tartly and I flushed.  "I thought as
much.  Out with you, lad, and into bed."

"But Lord Walter - "

"Will see to himself for one night.  You're no good to him half-
dead-asleep or drowned."

I let Maggie shepherd me out of the tub and into bed, secretly
relishing the attention.  I had missed this, had taken her
mothering for granted, and I never intended to do so again.
Before long, I was settling in bed in a nightrobe, sipping a mug
of mulled wine while Maggie fluffed pillows and clucked over me
indulgently.  Lord Walter entered the chamber and raised an
eyebrow.

"Enjoying yourself, brat?" he asked dryly. 

Maggie turned her attention on him with all the ferocity of a
mother cat recovering a lost kit, chivvying him out of his
clothes, into the bath and his bedgown, then into bed.  Seeing
her treat him like a little boy made me grin but I said nothing. 
Finally, after making up the fire, Maggie left us sitting in bed
with our mugs of wine and the plate of meat pies. 

Lord Walter gave me a mock glare.  "Don't even start."

I couldn't help the snicker that escaped me.  "If you could have
seen your face when she went after you with that washcloth - "

It was a good thing that I had set down my mug for Lord Walter
pounced, tickling me till I howled for mercy.  Then he bent his
head and kissed me thoroughly before settling back among the
pillows with me cradled against his side.  We were both too tired
to do more this evening but were blissfully aware that there was
time and plenty to spare. 

"It's good to be home, my cub," he said with a contented sigh.
Silently agreeing, I snuggled up close and went to sleep.

Walter

It was good to be home.  I settled back into the daily routines
with a sigh of relief, spending the morning hours on estate
business in my office.  Fox became even more of an asset to me in
this area.  His quick understanding let me turn much of the
record keeping over to him, freeing up my time for more complex
matters concerning my vassals.  We had a difference of opinion
regarding what constituted a detailed report but, once I had
reiterated my need for what Fox referred to as "useless
bureaucratic bullshit", I found that I could rely on Fox to sort
out general matters and draw up the necessary papers.  That freed
me to spend my mornings riding about the estate as we prepared
for winter, and it was a pleasant relief to return from a morning
in the saddle to find a neat set of scrolls and accounts awaiting
my signature.

Invariably, my feet would then lead me to the library where I
would find Fox sprawled on the rug before the fire, his nose
buried in a book and his thoughts a million miles away.  I would
settle into my chair and watch him indulgently, waiting for that
moment when he would return to this world.  Finishing a chapter
of whatever book he was reading, he would sigh deeply and look
up, his eyes distant and dreamy until they fell on me.  Then his
eyes would glow and his face light up, and he would readily
accept my silent invitation to settle in my lap with a welcoming
kiss. Inevitably, we would take our luncheon in the library and
spend the rest of the afternoon reading and talking
companionably. 

I marveled at this - I had never spent so much time with a lover
without becoming bored by him or her.  Fox never bored me -
entranced, enchanted, and infuriated me, perhaps, but never bored
me.  His love of esoteric subjects amused me, although at times
when he went on and on about his latest finding I was tempted to
gag him.  And his complete abandonment in bed, that amazing
combination of fresh innocence and wanton lust, never failed to
arouse me.

But it was the brief glimpses I had of his inner sorrow that
bound me to him, heart and soul.  It was there in the back of his
mind, betrayed only by a brief flicker in his expressive eyes
when a painful subject was touched upon. His sister, certainly,
was a source of grief to him despite Sister Melissa's
reassurances that Samantha was safe and well.  The loss of his
parents and his home also grieved him, although I had the uneasy
feeling that this was less painful to him than his sister's
disappearance.  And then there was that odd look I caught in his
eyes from time to time before his guard snapped back up into
place - I couldn't put my finger on the source of that pain
although I had a suspicion that it had to do with me.  For the
life of me I couldn't figure out what I had done to cause him
such grief.  I had thought that our mutual suspicions had been
laid to rest, but the sight of that sorrow made me more
determined to ease his pain in any way that I could.

One afternoon, a few days before midwinter, we sat in the library
as usual.  Fox was sitting on the floor at my feet, his head
resting on my knee while I absently stroked his hair.  Last
night's lovemaking had lasted well into the early morning hours
and both of us were pleasantly fatigued today so we were content
to drowse idly before the fire.

Fox blinked open his eyes and yawned.  "I forgot to tell you," he
murmured sleepily.  "The Chief Forrester sent a message for you. 
He's located a tree and it will be delivered tomorrow."

"Good," I said with satisfaction.  "Maggie's been anxiously
waiting for that and at this time of year, the last thing we want
is for her to get upset."

Fox tilted his face up, puzzled.  "Maggie's been waiting for a
tree?  Is she planning on starting an arborium?"

I chuckled.  "For Yule, silly."  He frowned, still puzzled, and
now I was confused.  "Or did your family celebrate Saturnalia
instead?"

He flushed and looked down. "My family didn't celebrate at
midwinter."

I stared at him in disbelief.  "Not celebrate - then what did you
do?"

He shrugged.  "Father spent most of the day at the Saturnalia
celebration at Court and Mother took Samantha to visit her family
for the week of Yule."

"And you?  What did you do?"

"With the house quiet, I usually got some extra studying done."

The thought of Fox rattling around his family home all alone
while all around him celebrated the Midwinter made me so angry
that my hand tightened involuntarily in his hair.  I murmured an
apology and released him.  He must have seen how I felt because
he said, softly, "It doesn't matter.  I'm not a child and haven't
been for years."

It mattered to me, though I knew better than to say anything
about it to Fox, knowing he would retreat into himself.  So
instead I made a private resolution to give Fox the best
Midwinter of his life while I smiled and murmured, "No, you
certainly are not a child."

He grinned and crawled up into my lap, nuzzling my neck.  "Glad
you noticed, Master.  Care to do anything about that?"

I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him.  "You are insatiable,
my brat."  And then there was no more talking for a long, long
time.

Chapter Two

Fox

Over the next few days, I knew that something strange was
happening around the castle.  For one thing, Lord Walter was
suddenly very busy in the afternoons, occupied with something
else instead of spending time with me in the library as usual.
For another, everyone seemed to have trouble meeting my eyes,
turning away from me with smothered smiles.  In the past, this
would have terrified me as I would have been certain that Lord
Walter was tired of me, but even an idiot like myself could see
that he was fond of me, and his attention in bed at night left me
in no doubt of his continued interest.

So I knew that something pleasantly mysterious was happening and
I had the suspicion that it had to do with Midwinter.  I had no
personal expectations for the holiday but if there was to be a
feast, I knew that I would at least get to watch the
celebrations.  Maggie didn't prepare any of the guest rooms so I
knew that Lord Walter wasn't expecting any other company for the
holiday - which was a relief as I wasn't looking forward to
renewing any Court acquaintances, with the exception of Prince
Gibson.  It appeared that it would just be ourselves celebrating
this holiday, and that was more than enough for me.

On the afternoon before Midwinter, Lord Walter suddenly emerged
from his all-absorbing activities, telling me to run and put on
my cloak and boots.  Puzzled but eager for his company, I obeyed
and when I ran down the steps, I found horses saddled and
waiting. 

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Into the village," Lord Walter replied, swinging up into his
saddle.  "I thought you might enjoy the Midwinter Fair and I'm
expected to light the Midwinter's Eve bonfire at sunset."

I nearly fell out of my saddle in excitement.  "A fair?  Really?"

Lord Walter chuckled in amusement.  "Really, Fox.  Although if
you fall off your horse and break your neck, you will hardly be
able to enjoy it." 

He signaled to Captain Scully and we rode out with a small
company of men.  I chattered all the way to the village and Lord
Walter listened indulgently as usual.  Just before we got to the
village, we turned off the main road onto a side one but I was
surprised to see that Captain Scully continued on towards the
village.  I looked at Lord Walter, puzzled. 

"Scully plans to spend the evening with Sister Melissa following
the Amazon traditions, so Lt. Lamana will look after us this
evening."  Lord Walter gave me a mock-stern look.  "And you will
behave yourself, brat, and not go running off looking for
trouble."

I looked at him indignantly.  "When have I ever – oh, all right,"
I conceded as he began counting off on his fingers.  "I swear
that I'll stay close to you or Jerry."

"Good."

A village lad ran up to hold our horses' heads as we dismounted
and Lord Walter tossed him a coin, nearly making the lad
incoherent with thanks.  Then Lord Walter turned to me and handed
me a small pouch.

"Here, Fox."  Thinking that he wished me to hold it for him while
he adjusted his cloak, I obediently stood with my hand out, the
pouch on my palm.  He looked at me in amusement.  "Well, go ahead
and take it.  It's yours, to spend as you wish on sweets and the
like."

My breath caught at that; it was highly unusual for a slave's
owner to give him money, but then, Lord Walter was proving to be
an unusual master.  I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him
tightly.  "Thank you, Master!"

He laughed and hugged me back.  "You are more than welcome, Fox. 
Just don't make yourself sick."  He released me, ruffling my
hair.  "Now, go on and enjoy the fair.  I've got to take care of
a few things but I'll find you as soon as I'm done.  Lamana, stay
with Fox."

As Lord Walter walked away purposefully, I turned towards Lamana
eagerly.  Over the past weeks since I had intervened in Lamana's
punishment, we had become friends and I relied on his knowledge
in this area.  "So what should we do first, Jerry?"

Lamana looked at me in amusement.  "What, haven't you ever been
to a fair?"

"No," I said honestly. 

"Right.  Pull the other one – it has bells on it."

I could feel myself flushing and turned away, heading towards the
brightly colored booths.  Lamana's hand grasped my shoulder,
pulling me back around.  "I'm sorry, Fox," he said sincerely.  "I
didn't mean to hurt your feelings.  I just don't understand – you
lived in Town and you've never been to a fair?"

I looked at the toe of my boot, scuffling it in the dirt.  "I've
been to the Great Market, of course, and the shops, but the fairs
were held outside the city and we weren't allowed to go."

A companionable arm went around my shoulder and Lamana grinned at
me.  "Lad, you don't know what you've been missing.  Come on –
let me show you around."

I can't remember ever having as much fun as I did that afternoon.
Lamana had grown up in the village and had been to these fairs
since a child.  He delighted in showing me all the best parts of
the fair.   He knew where to find the best fruit pies and the
best cider, the best places to watch the jongleurs and acrobats. 
And he seemed to know everyone at the fair and they all knew him.
He treated me with all the casualness of a younger brother,
dragging me into the middle of a game the village youths were
playing.  And he indulged me as I squandered Lord Walter's
coppers on treats vaguely remembered from my childhood before
dragging me off to see the amusements afforded by the traveling
entertainers.

I was still laughing from the antics of a puppet show when Lord
Walter caught up with us.  I could see that he was pleased that I
was enjoying myself even when he teased me about wearing more of
the foodstuffs I had purchased than eating them.  I just grinned
and offered him my cone of sugared almonds, laughing as his own
eyes lit up at the sight of that childhood treat.

It only lacked an hour till sunset so we slowly made our way
through the merchant stalls on our way to the clearing where the
bonfire had been laid out.  Just before sunset, we reached the
area for the bonfire and found me a good seat away from the
crowd.  As the sunlight began to fade, the air became chillier,
and Lord Walter made certain that I had my cloak wrapped tightly
around me, sending Lamana for a cup of mulled wine to keep me
warm during the festivities to come. 

"I've never been at this kind of celebration before.  What's
going to happen after the bonfire's lit?"

Lord Walter smiled at me.  "Lots of hugging and kissing, giving
each other good luck for the coming year.  Later, at moonrise,
the parents will take the younger ones home as the celebrations
become a little - shall we say -earthier.  And nine months from
now, there'll be a fresh crop of young ones in the village."

"It's interesting how many cultures encourage fornication for the
purpose of impregnation at winter festivals like this.  Yule and
Saturnalia are most familiar to us, but did you know that the
Greeks had the Rural Dionysian celebration with this dance where
they dressed like satyrs and carried around this really big
phallus - "

Lord Walter stopped my speaking with his mouth - a very effective
way to silence me, I must admit.  "Fox, I would love to hear all
about the various winter celebrations, but the sun is about to
set."  He kissed me again, briefly.  "Now you be good and stay
right here with Lamana till I come to fetch you."

"You won't come back right after lighting the bonfire?" I asked
anxiously.

He shook his head.  "I have to speak with the head of each
household first, give a blessing for the upcoming year, but I'll
be back as soon as I'm finished.  And I mean it, Fox -stay put." 
He grinned at me.  "I don't think you're ready for the education
you'd get if you went wandering in the shadows tonight."  He
leaned closer, murmuring in my ear, "And I promise that we'll re-
enact some of those pagan fornication rituals of our own later
tonight."

I could feel myself blushing at that but I managed to retort, "I
certainly hope so, although our ritual won't be as fruitful."

Lord Walter laughed at that, hugging and releasing me before
turning to Lamana.  "Keep a sharp eye on him, Lieutenant.  The
last thing I need is the villagers complaining about Fox
interrupting them to research fertility customs."

Lamana chuckled as he handed me the mulled wine, settling down on
a log laid on its side for our seats.  "I can't remember the last
time I saw Lord Walter enjoying himself like this," Lamana said,
sipping on his wine and grinning.

"Really?" I said, surprised.  "I thought he came to this festival
every year.  Doesn't he usually like it?"

Lamana looked at me strangely then said, slowly, "You really
don't know, do you?"

"Know what?" I asked puzzled.

"What everyone in the damn castle -hell, what everyone in the
village - knows.  Lord Walter's a good man and I couldn't ask for
a better soldier to serve under, but he's got the fiend's own
temper when he's vexed.  And it takes precious little to rile his
temper.  That is, before you came along."

I flushed and ducked my head.  "I'm - I'm glad that my presence
calms Lord Walter - and makes life easier for everyone -"

Lamana snorted at that.  "Well, calms isn't the word I'd use but
he certainly is content.  Fox," he said, his voice suddenly
hesitant.  "Are you happy?"  I looked up at him, aware that my
whole heart was in my eyes, and heard a sharp intake of breath.
"Gods, Fox.  I'd hoped - but not even the Captain was certain - "
He broke off suddenly.  "I'm going to get you another cup of wine
- stay put."

I nodded, but I had caught sight of activity near the bonfire and
I wouldn't have moved from my seat for anything.  Lord Walter
strode into the clearing, a fiery torch in his hand, looking for
all the world like Prometheus bringing fire to man.  I caught my
breath at the sight of him, so tall and proud in bearing, like a
god or a mythic warrior.  Pride swelled in me, pride at belonging
to this man. 

The crowd hushed and he spoke out, clear and strong, in the
tongue of the local people.  The words were unfamiliar to me but
the meaning was clear.  They washed over me and the assembled
crowd with all the power and magic of the ancient race who had
ruled this land long before Caesar had brought his legions to
these shores.  And I realized the simple truth of it: kings and
kingdoms were here only a fleeting moment of time but the Land
endured, eternally bestowing blessings on its chosen children. 

Lord Walter set the torch into the bonfire and it caught
immediately, roaring into life.  There was a general cheer from
among the spectators - evidently this was a good sign - and then
everyone was turning to their family and friends, hugging them
and bestowing kisses for luck in the upcoming year.  As Lamana's
own family descended on him, I was suddenly aware that I was the
only one here who had no family or friends to bestow good wishes
upon me.  My throat tightened - this was all too familiar a
reminder of past years when I had been left on my own amid the
celebrations in the streets.  Here, even here, I was alone.
Suddenly, all I wanted was to get on my horse, ride back to the
castle, and hide in the library.  I stumbled to my feet, ready to
run, and found myself caught in a sudden warm embrace.

"Happy Yule, Fox," murmured a familiar voice in my ear. 

A rush of joy flowed through me, and I flung my arms around the
solid bulk holding me.  No, I was not alone, not any longer, nor
had I been forgotten amidst the celebration.  I turned my head
blindly, finding the familiar mouth, and murmured against it,
"Happy Yule, Walter."

A heady kiss robbed me of breath for a moment and then he
released me with a sigh.  "Well, I must do my duty, but I'll
return to take you home shortly."

I nodded and smiled at him, content to wait now that I knew I
wasn't alone.  Hell, I would have waited all night if he had
asked me.  "I'll be right here." 

I watched fondly as he went off to bless each household and
picked up my mug.  Finding that it was empty, I looked around for
Lamana, but he was still being hugged and kissed by his family
which seemed to include half the village – although I had a
feeling that a few of the young women were more than kissing
cousins.  The almonds had made me thirsty and I glanced around to
see where Lamana had gotten the wine.  To one side of the
bonfire, a kettle had been set up and a small group of villagers
was gathered around it, so I made my way over to them.  There was
a look of surprise when I held out my mug but the old woman at
the kettle readily filled it, murmuring what sounded like a
blessing as she handed it back to me.  One of the young women
said something to the others - obviously a ribald jest because
the others burst into laughter and one of the young men slapped
me companionably on the back.  I had no idea what they said but I
smiled politely and made my way back to Lamana before he could
miss me. 

Settling back down on my log seat, I took a sip from my mug and
was surprised to find that it wasn't wine.  It was something
sweeter and heavier with a bit of a honey taste, and it was
better than anything I had ever tasted.  Thirstily, I drained my
mug. 

Lamana turned back to me as the last of his family headed home
for the evening.  "Are you doing all right, Fox?  Not cold, are
you?  Need any more wine?"

A pleasant warmth was running through my body despite the growing
night chill and I couldn't imagine ever being cold again.  I
grinned at him, feeling pleased with myself and the world in
general.  "No, thanks.  I gotta cup for myself."

"Got - " He frowned at me.  "You left here, after both Lord
Walter and I told you to stay put?"

"I did stay put," I said indignantly.  "But I don't think any
harm could come to me at that short a distance."  I gestured
towards the kettle.

Lamana swung around, frowning, looking in the direction I pointed
and then his eyes suddenly got wide.  "Shit!  Fox - you didn't -
"  He grabbed my mug and tasted the remnants.  "You did.  Hell,
we've got to find Lord Walter and get you out of here." 

Keeping a firm grip on my arm, he tugged me through the crowd,
ignoring my protests.  Although actually, when I thought about
it, finding Lord Walter sounded like a wonderful idea…

Walter

Lt. Lamana pushed his way through the crowd towards me, one hand
wrapped firmly around Fox's arm.  "Sir, I think we'd best get
Milord Fox home - and quickly."

I glanced over at Fox and saw that he was standing with his eyes
closed, humming slightly to himself.  Obviously, the young man
had drunk one too many cups of wine tonight and I supposed that
Lamana was worried that he'd either be sick or do something
silly.  I wasn't too worried -he was safe with us and I could see
that Fox was one of those happy drunks.

I smiled as I shook my head at Fox.  "How many cups of mulled
wine did you drink, cub?"

He shrugged and lost his balance, collapsing against me with a
laugh.  "Don' rem'ber.  Three or four."  He held up five fingers.
"I think."

"Two cups of wine," Lamana said and then added, with a
significant jerk of his head towards the bonfire, "And one cup
from the kettle."

My eyes widened at that.  Although I had never drunk from that
kettle, I knew that traditionally it was a very potent batch of
mead made by the local women.  It was also rumored to be a
powerful aphrodisiac.  I glanced over at Lamana.  "You're
certain?"

He nodded.  "I'm sorry, my lord.  I was speaking with my family
and he was never more than a few feet away from me.  He was so
pleased with himself that he hadn't disobeyed your orders."

"Trust the brat to get into trouble while trying to stay out of
trouble.  Are the rumors about that mead true?"

Lamana nodded, a rueful look on his face.  "All too true - from
personal experience.  It'd be best if we got him away from all
this before the full effect sets in."

I agreed and sent Lamana off to gather his troop and ready the
horses, then slid one arm around Fox's waist to help steady him. 
He gave me a smoldering look and nestled closer.

"We goin' home now, Master?"

"Yes, my cub."  As quickly as possible, I thought silently.

"Good."  He nuzzled my neck.  " 'Bout time we started on those
forn'cation rituals."

I laughed and disentangled us.  "When we get home, if you don't
mind, brat.  I have no intention of entertaining the villagers."

He pouted as I firmly propelled him towards the waiting horses.
I mounted quickly, watching Lamana settle the troops, and turned
back to see that Fox was still attempting to mount his horse.  As
he tried and failed to hold his stirrup steady, I chuckled.

"You'll fall off and break your neck, idiot.  Come here."  I held
a hand down to pull him up in front of me, holding him securely
with one arm wrapped around his waist as we set off towards home.
I heard him laugh and smiled as I leaned forward slightly.
"What, Fox?"

"Just 'membering," he said in a dreamy voice.  "Last time we rode
like this."

I was puzzled.  "When I brought you back from the village that
time you disobeyed me?"

"Um - not that time."  I could almost feel the heat from the
flush on his face.  "Before.  When you first brought me home."

I liked the way that he said 'home' and tightened my hold. "I
remember.  You were so stiff, so frightened of me at first.  And
then you fell asleep in my arms."

"Not frightened," he said hazily.  "Well, little bit 'bout what
it would be like.  Worried wouldn't please you."

I chuckled and squeezed him.  "I trust that you have no doubts
about that now." 

I felt a soft laugh vibrate his chest and rubbed my hand over his
flat stomach.   Fox sighed and leaned back against my chest,
opening his body for my exploration.  I took full advantage of
the invitation and ran my hand over the swelling mound of his
erection, hearing his gasp of pleasure. 

"Like that, my cub?"

"Yes," he moaned. "Oh Gods, yes." 

I felt his hand brush against mine as he quickly unlaced the
front of his breeches, then he grabbed my hand again and pressed
it back against the hardness of his aroused member.  My hand
closed over it automatically, and he dropped his head back on my
shoulder, softly moaning his approval.   He wiggled against me,
stirring my own flesh, and I nuzzled his neck.  Thinking that it
would be best to take the edge off his hunger now, I continued
stroking him as we rode towards home.  His pleasured moans and
gasps intoxicated me, going straight to my head like the mead
that he had drunk earlier.  I wanted to drink him down, fill
every part of me with his essence until there was no hunger or
thirst left within me.  Since that was not possible at the
moment, I contented myself with teasing and tormenting my young
lover, and by the time we came in sight of the castle, he was so
tightly strung that he was almost vibrating in my arms.  One more
stroke and a little pressure in the right place and he came hard
within my hand, his cries of completion muffled by my mouth. 

We entered the castle and my troops quickly led their horses
towards the barrack stables, no doubt eager to start their own
celebrations.  With a last teasing squeeze, I released Fox and
dismounted, then led my horse into the main stable, giving Fox a
few minutes to recover.  I listened with a smug grin to him
swearing under his breath and I was thankful that the stable lads
had been given the night off. 

I should have remembered that the Gods do not like smug
attitudes.  Neither, apparently, did Fox.

As I turned to remove the saddle from my horse, Fox slid down
into my arms and it was evident from the hardness that brushed
against my leg that my pleasuring had merely fanned the flames of
his need.  Desire clearly burned in his eyes and he locked his
mouth on mine.  To my surprise, I found myself maneuvered out of
the stall and into the hay room where a push reminded me of his
strength.  I went sprawling backward onto the bales and Fox
followed me down, his hands feverishly pulling clothing open.

"Fox - wait - " I gasped but he was kissing me again, rubbing his
body against mine. He had not refastened his breeches after my
earlier teasing and our flesh rubbed together, making me cry out
at the sheer heat of his body against mine.  He was hungry with
lust, and his mouth and hands were everywhere.  I felt awash with
sensations – the rough cloth of my cloak behind me, the slick
firmness of his skin against mine – and suddenly realized that
his own clothes had been discarded.

"Wait – someone might come – "

I heard a muffled laugh from somewhere in the region of my belly.
"Someone damned well better come."  He moved back up my body,
kissing every inch of bared skin until he was lying flat over my
body.

"We'll be heard," I protested around a mouth that seemed
determined to devour mine.  "Or seen."

He pushed back up to straddle my body, his eyes glowing
feverishly.  "I wouldn't care right now if you took me in the
Hall with the whole castle watching."

"That's the mead talking – "

I gasped, suddenly incoherent with lust, as I watched Fox rise up
on his knees and thrust a slick finger into his ass, preparing
himself to be taken.  It was the most erotic thing I had ever
seen.  His head was thrown back, his body taut with mead-induced
lust and the effort to relax for my penetration.  I was struck
speechless, watching this half-wild creature writhing above me,
and I felt my own body harden even more.  And then he was
pressing backwards and down, pushing himself onto my cock.  I
gasped at the intensity of sensation - the feel of his tight
channel around my flesh, the sight of his body moving up and down
on me, the sounds of his pleasure that now fell continuously from
his lips.  The sight of the tip of his tongue coming out to
moisten those lips nearly drove me out of my mind and, with a
growl, I grabbed his head and pulled it down to mine.  Ravishing
his mouth with my own, I thrust my hips up, driving him down
deeper onto my cock.  Convulsions racked him and I felt the hot
pulsing between our bodies at the same time as I heard his cry
and it triggered my own release. 

Clutching him tightly to me, I felt the last shudders run through
our bodies.  "God, Fox," I gasped.  "I can't believe that I just
did this."

There was a wicked chuckle from my young lover.  "What?  You
never tumbled someone in the stables?"

"Oddly enough, no."  I let my hand run over his back, enjoying
the feel of the sweat-slick skin.  "I've led a sheltered life."

"Obviously."  Fox rocked back and I groaned at the sensation of
his body clenching my cock, still buried deep inside him.  I
wrapped an arm around him, stilling his movements. 

"I'm not doing this again," I said firmly.  "Not here in a cold,
drafty stable when a warm, comfortable bed lies just across the
courtyard."

"Good point," Fox said, pushing himself up and off me in a single
graceful movement.  He caught up his scattered clothes and began
pulling them on.  I lay there for a moment, amazed that he had
the energy to do anything after our fiery coupling.  He glanced
over at me and grinned, then tossed me my pants.

"You might want to put these on, Master.  It's getting chilly out
there, and it would be a shame to damage anything -vital."

At the hot look in his eyes, I nearly groaned out loud and
wondered how long it would take for the aphrodisiac to wear off. 
And I wondered if I would survive.

Chapter 3

Walter

It was early morning when I eased out of bed and dressed silently
- not that anything short of a raid on the castle would have
awakened my bedmate.  His libido had held strong until well past
midnight, and it was only through a combination of skill and
stamina that I managed to wear him out before he could drive me
into the ground.  Fox now lay sprawled across the bed, looking
like he'd been through a Bacchanalia, sporting several marks of
passion across his back and buttocks.  I stood there watching him
for a moment, and the smile on my face was no doubt fondly
idiotic, but no on was there to see it.  Gently covering his body
with the sheet, I left the room.

Maggie was just pulling sweet bread out of the oven when I
entered the kitchens.  I wound my way through the bustling cooks
and helpers, settling at the trestle table near the baking ovens,
and she looked up at me with a smile.  "You look a little worn
around the edges, Lord Walter."

I accepted the mug she handed me and sipped.  "Fox got into the
wrong brew at the festival.  After he finally fell asleep, I ran
for my life."

She patted my hand sympathetically.  "Can't be that bad - I
haven't seen you look that happy in years."

"Is it that obvious?"

"To anyone who knows you."  She put in another set of loaves and
then sat down at the table across from me, her eyes seriously
studying my face.  "What are you going to do about him?"

I sighed.  "The only thing I can, Maggie.  I petitioned the king
to pardon Fox and his sister, to restore their freedom.  I
thought - I hoped it would make a good Yule present for Fox.
Jeff turned my petition down."  I shook my head, troubled that my
beloved baby brother would deny me this when I asked so very
little of him.  "He seems to have an irrational jealousy of Fox."

"Not irrational," Maggie pointed out.  "He knows that you love
the boy more than life, and even as a child, Master Jeffrey was
not inclined to share his favorite possessions.  Especially you."

I nodded.  "I remember.  And in truth, I suppose that it's better
that Fox stay a slave and in my care for now.  Earl Spender is up
to no good as far as that boy is concerned, and if Fox were free,
no doubt he would spring some other trap on him.  Besides - "  I
stopped and flushed.

"Besides - you don't want to lose him, and you think that if he
were free, he would leave here like a shot," Maggie finished.

"I know that he likes me, Maggie.  And the gods know that he
enjoys what we have together physically.  But he has a sister
that he feels obliged to look after, and he has his University
studies.  What can I offer him but a broken down old soldier?"

"Love."  Her eyes caught mine, held them captive.  "Seems the boy
has had little enough of that till now.   And it seems like you
have plenty of love to give him."

"I imagine that there are plenty others ready to love him,
Maggie.  He's a very lovable person."

Again I got that look of hers.  "He seems very taken with you."

I smiled at her mockingly.  "I'm a very lovable person, too."

She snorted.  "Right.  Well, if you don't take your lovable
person out of my kitchen, nothing will be ready for the feast
today."

I laughed and left Maggie to her cooking.  Unfortunately, that
left me with little to occupy my time.  All my paperwork was
done, the estate visits completed for now, and the other focus of
my usual attention was tucked into my bed, sound asleep.  For the
first time in a long time, I had nothing to do. 

I wandered into the Great Hall, taking a look at the decorations
with satisfaction.  I was not a religious man, particularly after
the way the Priests had treated my mother, but Mother had
delighted in this particular holiday and had gone to great
lengths to combine both the Saturnalia customs of Father's court
and the Yule traditions that she had grown up with.  I had
continued the tradition out of equal parts nostalgia and honor to
her memory and, thinking about the look that would be on Fox's
face today, I was glad that I had done so.

Restlessly, I wandered into the library and picked up a book,
settling down in my chair for a peaceful morning of reading.  But
I was unable to concentrate on the words and so I tossed the book
aside.  Truth was, I had grown accustomed to having my cub's full
attention and I found that I no longer knew how to amuse myself. 
For a few minutes, resentment filled me - how dare the boy become
so incapacitated that he left me to my own devices?  Then a
rueful grin crossed my face; it was hardly the boy's fault that
he had drunk from the wrong brew.  And the memories of the past
night -I would not trade those memories for anything in the
world.  Fox was always a sweet and responsive lover but he was
usually content to let me take the lead in our passion-play.  But
last night he had been my demon-lover -insistent, aggressive, and
completely wanton.  I fell asleep sitting in my chair, dreaming
and hoping that this demon lover made another appearance

Fox

I woke to a sudden chill as someone stripped off my covers and
smacked me playfully on the backside.  "Up, brat!"

"Ouch!"  I sat up abruptly, protecting my bare ass.  "What's that
for?" I protested angrily.

Lord Walter raised an eyebrow.  "That tone, perhaps.  Do you plan
to spend the day in bed?"

I grinned and reclined back on the bed, giving him my best
seductive smile.  "And you would object to that?"

"Later, my insatiable one.  Right now, I'm hungry."

"So am I." I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

He sighed.  "Next time, I'm keeping you on a short lead to keep
you out of trouble.  An aphrodisiac is the last thing you
needed."

That caught my attention, and I let him drag me out of bed and,
grumbling, I made my way to the bathing chamber.  I was surprised
that he didn't follow me there - surprised and relieved.  I had a
lot to think about.

I sank down into the warm water, wincing a little as all my
muscles and intimate parts protested, and I dropped my head back
against the side of the tub with a groan.  Damn!  I felt as if I
had been ridden hard and put away wet - and, judging from the
tenderness of my lower anatomy, I had.  Vague images from the
previous night came back to me, and I burned with embarrassment
as I remembered being stroked to climax on horseback - in the
midst of the damn troops, no less.  And then there were flashes
from the barn, of pushing Lord Walter down onto a bale of hay and
fucking myself on him.  I groaned, submerged myself under the
water, and briefly considered staying there.  No wonder Lord
Walter had been so cross this morning - he was probably furious
with me. 

I sat up abruptly, dread making my stomach turn over.  I had
disobeyed him and my behavior had no doubt angered him.  It
didn't matter that I had accidentally gotten into whatever the
hell it was that I had gotten into.  I knew that I was in
trouble. 

I washed quickly, and the process purged away any lingering
effects of the drug I had ingested.  Reluctant but resolute, I
walked back down the hallway to Lord Walter's bedchamber.  He was
sitting in the chair by the fire, pulling on his boots, and I
immediately went to the wardrobe and fetched the strap, kneeling
before him and holding it up.

"Fox, what's this?" There was surprise in his voice, and I looked
up at him, equally surprised.

"I - for punishment.  I disobeyed you.  I drank that - whatever
it was.  And I - gods, I can't believe that I did that to you in
the barn."

"Fox."  Lord Walter pulled the strap out of my hands and set it
aside, then pulled me up into his lap.  I looked at him,
bewildered.  "In the first place, Lamana says that you stayed
within his sight the whole time.  In the second place, you had no
idea that the mead was drugged.  And in the third place," He
leaned forward and his lips brushed my ear as he murmured,  "I
enjoyed every moment of last night."

I flushed.  "Really?"

"Really."  He kissed me tenderly.  "Although the way you are
moving, I would hazard that you are feeling sore this morning.
Lie down on the bed on your stomach and let me take a look."

I obeyed, burying my face in the covers in embarrassment as I
felt him examine me carefully.  "You're a little swollen but
there wasn't any tearing, thank the Gods.  This should help."  A
cooling balm was spread over the sore tissue and I sighed in
relief, and then buried my face even more.  I heard Lord Walter's
chuckle and felt him press a kiss on my nether cheeks.
"Embarrassed, my cub?  After all that we have done together?"  He
rolled me over onto my back and pressed a kiss against my lips.
"I don't know which is more enticing -my  sweetly shy lover or my
wild and wanton one." 

Doubt and relief warred within me.  "Really?"

"Really.  I wouldn't mind seeing that side of you more often, my
Fox.  Although preferably without the mead's influence."

Relieved, I grinned at him and pulled him back down for a brief
but intense kiss.  When I let him go, he looked slightly dazed.
"Like that, Master?"

"Yes," he said, drawing a ragged breath.  "Exactly like that."
He sighed and released me, getting up.  "Before you finish
dressing, you might want to take a look at that chair over
there."

I looked at him, puzzled, then turned to look at the chair.  An
unfamiliar cloak lay over a jumble of other items, and I flushed
in embarrassment at not having the room in order as Lord Walter
liked.

"I'm sorry, Master.  I don't know how these things got here -I'll
put them away right now - "

"You might want to look at them first, Fox.  They're gifts - for
you."

My legs felt suddenly weak and abruptly I sat on the floor.  "For
- gifts -who - "

"Just about everyone in the castle.  The cloak is from Maggie -
fur lined so you'll stay warm when we go riding."

I pulled the cloak down over my lap, marveling as I ran my hand
over the soft fur.  I had owned a good wool cape before, but
never had one with fur.  "It's - this is incredible."

"The book is from Captain Scully and Sister Melissa."

I picked it up and read the title.  "The Historie of the Sisters
of Artemis."

"You should be honored - few outside the Sisterhood have had
access to that knowledge."

I nodded.  "I know.  I'll treasure it."

"The mittens are from the female servants, and I understand each
of them took a turn at carding, spinning, and knitting them."
Lord Walter gave me a humorous look.  "Should I be jealous, my
Fox?"  I laughed at that.  "Lamana gave you the leather pouch,
and all the men contributed to the contents."

I picked up the pouch, surprised by the weight of it.  Looking
inside, I saw that it was filled with coppers and the occasional
glint of silver.  Knowing a soldier's wage wasn't much, I was
touched that they would bestow so much on a slave.  "I can't
believe this," I murmured.

"There's more.  The eating knife is from William."

My jaw nearly dropped at that.  It was unheard of for a slave to
carry a knife.  "I can't - I'm not allowed - "

"You have my permission to carry it, Fox."  He smiled.  "It's
only an eating knife and I doubt that you will slit my throat
with it in the night.  You're far more likely to drive me to a
heart attack in bed."

I grinned and blushed at that, remembering the past night.  I
picked up the last items - a finely bound journal and a box of
quill pens.

"From me," Lord Walter said.  "I thought that you would like to
have something to record your thoughts in.  Something personal.
And I swear by my mother's soul that I will never so much as look
inside without your leave."

My throat tightened.  "I - thank you.  I shall treasure this
always."  I ran my fingers reverently over the creamy pages,
blank now but just waiting for me to fill them.

Brushing away the sudden moisture in my eyes, I looked at the
assembled gifts.  "I never expected this - I don't have anything
to give in return."

"Yes, you do, Fox.  You give of yourself every day.  Besides," he
said with a grin.  "The staff is grateful not to have to endure
my bad temper anymore."

I chuckled at that.  "Well, it is a sacrifice but one I am glad
to make."

"Brat." 

Lord Walter pulled me into his arms, ruthlessly tickling me till
I screamed for mercy.  Then we finally finished dressing and went
down to join the rest of the household for the merriest feast
that I had ever seen.  With song and dance, with food and drink,
and with much laughter and affection, we celebrated the start of
a new year.  And later, as I lay secure and drowsy within Lord
Walter's arms following our own private celebration, I reflected
with amusement how odd it was that the happiest Yule of my life
should come after losing everything.

Chapter 4

Walter

The winter months passed for me in quiet contentment, more than I
had ever known in the past.  While I generally enjoyed the
opportunity to relax in front of my fire after the hectic
harvest-time, I also tended to fret at the enforced inactivity.
Now, with Fox here to amuse me and share my life, I found that my
boredom was a thing of the past.

Share my life.  Amazing how easy those words came to me, how
natural they seemed.  I wondered if it felt the same way to Fox,
but somehow I doubted it.  Although he seemed happy enough, there
was an underlying restlessness that I knew was due to our
inability to locate his sister.  I had no doubt that the moment
he was free he would be off to find her - unless we found her
sooner.

Still, he enjoyed being here, with me.  We settled back into our
routine - mornings in the office, afternoons in the library, with
the occasional diversion in between.  The first snowfall drew us
out to play in it like children, engaging in mock combat with
snowballs.  I escorted Fox to the village to see Sister Melissa
on several occasions so he could pester her with questions
concerning the book he had received for Yule.  The only drawback
to that was that he was so wired afterward that he could hardly
stop talking all evening.  Fortunately, I knew a wonderful way to
stop him from talking.

But my favorite times continued to be our afternoons in the
library.  We spent many long hours in front of the fire, taking
turns reading to each other or discussing philosophy or whatever
else came into our heads.  I delighted in his quick mind and
sharp intelligence; only Reggie had been able to provide me with
this level of mental stimulation on the rare occasions when I
could visit him.  Sharon had preferred gossip and fashion as
topics of discussion, and was plainly uninterested in the
subjects that interested me.  Fox was more than interested.  He
was eager to discuss anything he had learned and would readily
debate any issue.  I enjoyed watching the way that his face lit
up when he was really intensely interested in what he was talking
about and sometimes I would deliberately prod him to get his
passions stirred up. 

And then there was his passion for me, his total delight in what
we did together.  For the first time in my life, I had a bed
companion who seemed genuinely joyful to be in my bed, not just
accepting it because it was an obligation or because I was a
means to an end.  He devoted as much of his intelligence to
determining what brought me the most pleasure and, as I allowed
him to take the lead more often, he displayed this knowledge in a
way that often left me senseless.  I found myself contemplating
the oddest thought at times, that of allowing him to take me,
something that only a few lovers had done and then not often.  I
had never taken pleasure in receiving, had done it only to please
the lover I had at the time, but I had a feeling that it would be
different with Fox.  The image of him lying over me, my heels on
his shoulders while he drove into me with determined pleasure and
vibrant passion fueled more than one fantasy.  But at present
they remained only a fantasy although I wasn't sure exactly what
it was that I was waiting for.

Of course, life wasn't completely centered on books and bed.
There was still a little business to be attended to, even at this
time of year.  Plans for the new plantings, decisions on which
fields to let run fallow, merchant charters to approve, and minor
legal matters to arbitrate - all the hundred little details
involved in running a holding this size.  And one afternoon, I
found myself frowning over a message from the Council at the
village outside my northern outpost.

"Trouble, Master?"

I glanced over at Fox, sitting at his little desk, and shrugged. 
"It seems that the sergeant in charge of the northern garrison
has gotten lax in his control over his men and the village is
complaining.  Nothing serious - yet, just a lot of mischief.
Sergeant Colton may need to be relieved of his duties and brought
back here for a little retraining under the Captain's hand."

"Ouch," Fox said with a grin.  "Poor man."

"I think I'll ride up there with Lamana.  Take a replacement
patrol up there and let him settle them in while I bring Colton
and his men back."

"Can I go with you?" Fox asked eagerly.

I hesitated a moment.  There was no real need to take Fox with
me, other than my pleasure in his company.  Besides, Fox had been
sneezing for the past two days, and I didn’t want to risk his
cold getting worse.  "I don't think so, cub.  It'll be a quick
trip - there and back -with nothing to amuse you."

Fox made a face.  "And nothing to amuse me here, either, with you
gone."

He flushed as he realized what he had said but I laughed,
delighted that he enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed his.
"Well, then, I shall have to devote myself to amusing you once I
return, shan't I?"

Fox grinned and gave me a sultry look from under his eyelashes.
"Yes, Master.  Although it might help if I had something to
remind me while you are gone."

Once more, my body caught fire from that molten look and I tossed
the message down onto the desk.  The hell with Tom Colton - he
would wait until tomorrow, but the need raging through me
wouldn't wait another moment.  I took my Fox back to bed and took
him in a way that would leave several pleasant reminders over the
next few days.

Fox

Lord Walter rode out of the castle the next morning, watched by a
disapproving Captain Scully.  I don't think it was a matter of
not agreeing with his decision to remove Colton from his post -
it was the fact that she would have to wait two days before
getting her hands on the miscreant who had shown up a flaw in her
management of Lord Walter's army.  Since she was in a bad mood, I
avoided her most of the morning, hiding in the library. 

After lunch, bored with my own company, I wandered down into the
courtyard for some exercise.  The castle's soldiers were working
out as usual and I steered clear of the practice area since it
appeared that Captain Scully was putting them through a grueling
workout.  Sometimes, when I was bored and Lord Walter was
occupied with other matters, I would watch their combat
practices, handing out dippers of water during the breaks.
Sometimes one of the younger ones would drop down on the bench
beside me and talk - about their homes, their families, and their
plans after their term of soldiering was done.  Once I realized
that they were mostly lonely young men like me, I stopped being
afraid of them.  The older men, the career soldiers, were no less
inclined to talk but their conversation centered mostly on
battles they had seen and, to a man, they were devoted to Lord
Walter.  There was no attempt at familiarity or inappropriate
attentions - the young ones were still too hot for woman-flesh
and the older ones too wary of the Captain.  Still, I steered
clear of the barracks on general principle - a horny man in his
cups was less likely to care about whom he took his pleasure with
and I still had no ambition to become the barrack's whore.

Today, a cart that had been set up across from the practice area
caught my attention.  It was a tinker's cart, loaded with barrels
and bundles and pots that gleamed in the wintry sun.  A trestle
table had been set up alongside the cart and Maggie was busily
engaged in bartering with an old man who was obviously the tinker
while his apprentice fetched goods for her inspection.  I
wandered across and looked over the cart with more curiosity than
need, although the knowledge that I had coins of my own to spend
should I wish was nice.  Still, there was nothing that I could
think of that I wanted, although the vague thought of a present
for Lord Walter drifted through my mind.

As I wandered and looked, my eye suddenly caught something
gleaming from the tinker's shelves.  It was a copper bookmark,
cunningly wrought to look like a fox's head, and the moment I saw
it, I knew that it would be a perfect gift for Lord Walter. 

"What is it?" Maggie asked, having concluded her business with
the tinker.  She glanced over at the tinker's cart and saw the
copper trinket, then looked back at me.  "You like that?"

I shrugged.  "I was thinking that Lord Walter might like it."

"Then ask how much it is."

I shook my head.  "No – it's bound to be too much."

"You'll never know unless you ask."  She pushed me toward the
cart.  "Go on."

Uncertain, I walked over to the cart and pretended to look over
all the merchandise, trying not to betray my particular interest
in that piece.  I asked the price of one or two other items and
my heart sank further with each answer -the prices were way
beyond my limited means.  Finally I pointed at the bookmark,
surprised at the steadiness of my voice.

"How much?"

The old man looked at me, an unreadable expression on his face.
"This item is not for sale.  It is to be given to the one with
the same name."

Puzzled, I said, "My name is Fox.  Is that what you mean?"

"Truly, you are called Fox?" the man asked.  I nodded and he took
down the copper fox, turning it over.  "Do the initials on the
back mean anything to you?"

I looked and thought that my heart would stop.  There, engraved
into the metal, were the initials 'SAM'.  I swallowed hard.  "My
sister – Samantha.  I called her Sam."  I looked up at the man,
trying to control my impulse to grab him and demand more
information.  "Where did you get this?"

"From a friend to be given to a friend."  He reached into a
cabinet and brought out a little cloth bag, tucked the copper
bookmark inside, and then held it out to me.  "May the Gods smile
on you, young Fox."

"Thank you," I managed to say, clutching the little bag to my
chest.  I knew that there was some hidden message here, possibly
from one of the Single Arrow brotherhood, and I could hardly wait
to get to the privacy of my room to check it out. 

Once seated before the fire in Lord Walter's bedchamber, I pulled
the bookmark out of the bag and carefully examined it, but I
couldn't see anything unusual in either the front or the back
engravings, other than those three initials.  I picked up the bag
and turned it inside out, but there was nothing there.
Frustrated, I was about to throw it aside when I realized that
the material was stiffer than it should be. 

Using my eating knife, I carefully slit the seams of the bag and
laid it out flat.  There, between the two layers of cloth, was a
note written in an unfamiliar hand.

"Fox-  You do not know me by name, although no doubt you have
heard Mutual Friends refer to me as The Thinker.  I have secured
information that it is urgent that I pass to you.  Once you have
received this message from a Friend who has offered to convey it
for me, meet me at Midnight on the shore North of the village.
Come alone, as you are the only one I trust with this
information."

I sat and looked at the note for a long time, torn between
excitement and apprehension.  I had heard the Brothers refer to
the Thinker, an anarchistic friend of theirs, but I had never met
him and had no idea what he looked like.  The possibility that
this was a trap occurred to me, but the little mark in the corner
of the note was one I had seen on the Brothers' correspondence so
I was certain that it was – or had been – authentic at one point.
Whether or not the author of this message was now in Earl
Spender's clutches was unknown.  Not to mention the fact that
Lord Walter would have my head if he found out that I had
disobeyed him by leaving the castle alone.  But if I didn't go to
meet this man, I could miss my chance to find out what had
happened to my sister.

Resolved, I folded up the note and carefully tucked it into my
pouch, then went down to the kitchen to eat supper.

************************

Later that night, when the castle staff had settled down, I
slipped out of the kitchen door.  The castle was dark and I
carefully made my way across the gardens toward the postern door,
having determined that this was the easiest way for me to escape
from the castle unnoticed.  Carefully, I eased the door open and
slid through the narrow opening, then pushed the door shut and
heard it latch behind me.  Only one way back into the castle now
– through the front gate – but I would tackle that problem when I
returned with my information.

Once clear of the castle, I made my way on foot towards the
village.  It was a long walk and would take me over an hour, but
there was no way that I could have slipped out on horseback.  I
felt the chill winds and pulled my new cloak tighter around me,
quickening my pace to a slow jog.  The sooner I got this over
with and got back to the castle, the better.  I was already
feeling very uneasy about this meeting, not to mention the
consequences I would face upon my return.

A little over an hour later, I stood at the appointed meeting
place and looked around anxiously for my contact.  The bitter
cold seemed worse as brisk winds blowing off the bay seemed to
penetrate even the thick cloak I was wearing, chilling my sweat-
dampened body.   I felt a cough tickling at the back of my throat
and knew that Maggie would give me hell for making my cold worse.
I stamped my feet, trying to make my numb toes wake up, and
cursed under my breath.  Where the hell was this Thinker?

A figure moved out of the mist and I hesitated, then moved
forward as I saw he was alone.  "Fox?" The man peering out of the
fog was wiry and appeared unkempt, but more from a scholar's
inattention than from slovenliness. 

"Yes," I said, moving closer.  "You said you had information for
me.  Do you know what has happened to my sister."

His eyes darted around everywhere, obviously nervous and
frightened.  "More -more than that."  He pulled out a roll of
parchment and held it up.  "Information - on all of it.
Dangerous information.  If this gets into the wrong hands…"

I itched to get my hands on that parchment.  "Do they know that
you have this?"

The man nodded and a sheepish look came over his face.  "I found
it in the Temple library. I never expected to find anything like
this so I didn't take any precautions – I barely got out of the
Temple alive.  I couldn't lead them to the Brothers and I don’t
think they'll expect me to come here, but they may be following
me."

I took the roll of parchment.  "I'll be careful."  I longed to
look at it but knew that there was no time for that now.
Carefully, I tucked it into the waistband of my pants where it
would be secure and hidden. 

The Thinker suddenly raised his head, looking around in alarm.
"They're here!  They're coming!"

"Who - " But now I could hear something as well - the sound of
oars on the bay behind us.  It appeared that he had been followed
and that the jaws of the trap were about to close on us both.
Determined to prevent that from happening, I shoved at the
Thinker, startling him out of his frozen panic.   "Run!  Get out
of here!" 

The man didn't wait to hear more.  He took off towards the
village and I took off running towards the castle.  But I could
tell that I wasn't going to be fast enough.  Even now, I heard
the sound of gangplanks hitting the shore and the sound of hooves
on the wood.  There was no way for me to outrun men mounted on
horseback. 

Still, I ran as fast as I could but it seemed that part of the
enemy forces had somehow swung around in front of me and I knew
that I was going to be caught between the enemy's pinchers.  A
horse appeared out of the mist ahead of me and I swerved to avoid
it, passing close enough to hear the rider swear.

"Dammit, Milord, I'm trying to rescue you!"

I froze in place, startled by the familiar voice.  "Scully?"  A
moment later, I felt myself being caught around the waist and
heaved up behind the rider. 

"Hold on.  We're outnumbered and will have to run for it."

Stunned, I clasped my arms tightly around Captain Scully's waist
and held on.  She swung her horse around and shouted the retreat,
then spurred her mount towards the castle.  I clung to my rescuer
for dear life, knowing that a fall at the speed we were going
would probably kill me.  And, given who my pursuers were, death
would probably be preferable to capture.

A few minutes later, we were safely inside the castle and Scully
sprang down from her saddle, issuing orders in rapid succession. 
It appeared that she expected pursuit and attack as she set about
securing the castle and fortifying the battlements, and the
garrison sprang into action with ease.  As I heard the orders
being given, the full enormity of the situation hit me and I slid
out of the saddle to stand on shaking legs.

Scully was back in a moment, her face stern and her eyes blazing.
She grasped me by the shoulder and marched me into the Hall, not
letting go till we stood in Lord Walter's bedchamber.  "You are
an idiot and would be justly served if Lord Walter exacted the
full penalty for your actions." 

I paled her words and tried to speak, but my lips and throat were
dry as dust. 

Scully didn’t appear to be having any problems talking.  "How
could you run away like that, the moment his back was turned?"

"I didn't run away," I managed to say.  "He said – the man I met
said - he had information about my sister – "  I pulled the
parchment out of my trousers and held it out as proof.

"Save your fairy tales for his Lordship," she snapped, throwing
the paper to the side.  "No doubt he is fond enough to believe
that you slipped off in the dead of night for information."

"Dana!" Maggie said sharply, coming into the room in time to hear
this.  "I'm sure that the poor boy didn't mean to cause trouble. 
Look at him – he looks like he'll faint any minute."

"He has good reason to feel faint.  If he's lucky, Lord Walter
will just lift the skin off his back."

I felt cold all over and said, desperately, "I wasn't running
away.  I would have come back – "

"If I hadn't seen you leave, you wouldn't have been able to come
back!  Only you would have the bad luck to run right into a
raiding party in your break for freedom."

The fraying threads of my temper snapped and I yelled, "They
weren't raiders!  They were trying to capture the man who gave me
that scroll – and me as well!"

Scully snorted.  "Not everything is about you."

"This was!"

"Dana!  Fox!" Maggie pushed between us, glaring at first me and
then at Scully.  "Fighting like children – and ill-behaved ones
at that!  You should be ashamed of yourselves!"

"But – "  I shut up when she glared at me again.

Scully drew in a deep breath.  "Whoever they were," she said in a
quieter tone, "they nearly had you that time." 

I looked and saw the pain in her face at that thought.  "I know. 
Thank you – for rescuing me."

She gave me a slight, crooked smile.  "You're a lot of trouble,
Milord Fox.  And until Lord Walter comes back tomorrow, I think I
should lock you in this room – for my own peace of mind."

I nodded again and looked at her anxiously.  "Are you – are you
going to tell him that I ran away?"

Scully considered me for a long moment.  "I should," she said,
ignoring Maggie's protest.  "But I won't.  I have to tell him
that you left the castle, but I'll make sure he knows that you
were tricked into it.  You'll still be in trouble, though."

I swallowed hard at that thought.  "I know."

"I hope that scroll of yours was worth it."

"The scroll!"  I had completely forgotten about it and now looked
around frantically for it.  I found it lying on the floor against
the wall where Scully's blow had knocked it.  I eagerly unrolled
it.  One look at the contents, however, and I was ready to throw
it against the wall myself.  I swore and tossed it on the bed.

"What's wrong, Fox?" Maggie asked in concern.

"It's all nonsense – gibberish!" I said, angry that I had allowed
myself to fall for a stupid trick.  "It was a trap, the whole
thing, and I fell for it."

"Maybe it's in another language – "

I shook my head.  "I studied languages at the University, and
that's not any language that I've ever seen.  It's not even a
code of some kind."

Scully's voice broke into my anger.  "I've seen something like
this."  I turned and looked at her, and saw that she was sitting
on the bed with the scroll spread over her lap, a look of intense
concentration on her face.  "At the Shrine, when I was training
there."

My anger evaporated and I sat down beside her on the bed, saying,
"It's not Greek like most of the Amazon writings you've shown me.
The letters are Roman but not in any familiar pattern.  It's all
a jumble of consonants with no pattern and very few vowels."

"It reminds me of some of the Welsh writings I've seen," she said
slowly.  "It's possible that a Welsh translator would be able to
decipher this.  I could send it by courier to the Shrine and see
if one of the Sisters - "

I shook my head.  "It's too dangerous," I said.  "They were after
the man who took this from the Temple and if they think he gave
it to me, they'll be watching any messengers we send out.  He
said that the information in this was very dangerous and that it
couldn't fall into the wrong hands."

She sighed.  "Then we'll just have to wait until we go back to
Town and can take it to the Shrine ourselves."

I frowned, not liking the delay, but I could see no other safe
course.  "I suppose so."

"In the meantime," Maggie said briskly, "It is getting late and
you young people need your rest."

I opened my mouth to protest and yawned instead.  Maggie was
right – now that the excitement was over, I found that I was
exhausted.  Scully rolled up the parchment and handed it back to
me, admonishing me to put it somewhere safe and then went off to
see to her men before turning in. 

I stripped off my damp clothes and pulled on a clean bedgown,
feeling shaky still.  I would have loved nothing better than to
sink into the hot water in the bathing chamber but Maggie was
waiting to lock me in and I was already in so much trouble that I
didn’t want to push it.  I crawled under the covers and let
Maggie fuss over me, tucking in the blankets until I was as
comfortable as I could get without Lord Walter beside me.
Closing my eyes, I drifted into a deep sleep.

And woke several hours later, screaming, in the clutches of the
worst nightmare I had ever had since coming to Beauforte.  I
wrapped my shivering body around the pillow that still held Lord
Walter's scent and, unable to sleep anymore, lay silently
watching the sun come up.




Chapter 5

Walter

I rode into Beauforte late in the afternoon on the second day
with a subdued and sullen ex-Sergeant Colton in my wake. With a
grateful sigh, I came out of my saddle and looked around the
courtyard, noting that Captain Scully had increased the guard for
some reason.  She stood at the bottom of the steps, William and
Maggie next to her, and I crossed to them as I stripped off my
gloves.

"Expecting trouble, Captain?" I asked, gesturing toward the
walls.

"There were reports of marauders in the village last night and I
didn't want to take any chances."

I frowned.  "Marauders?  Did they do any damage?  Any idea what
they wanted?"

"As a matter of fact - "

Maggie interrupted suddenly, tugging me towards the stairs.
"Dana, I'm sure that you can discuss this later, after Lord
Walter has had a chance to recover from his trip."  I let her
lead me off - I was tired and dirty and wanted nothing so much as
a bath, a hot meal, and Fox in that order.

Speaking of which…I looked around for him.  "Where's Fox?  I
thought he'd be waiting impatiently at the gate for me."

Maggie chuckled.  "Aye, and so he would be and under everyone's
feet if we hadn't locked him into your bedchamber."

“The boy has sadly missed you,” William added.

I opened my mouth to ask why they had thought it necessary to
lock Fox into my room but at that moment Maggie unlocked the
door.  Fox launched himself at me and nearly knocked me down. He
began covering my face with kisses, rubbing himself against me. I
wrapped an arm around his waist and captured his mouth with mine,
closing the door behind me with the other hand.

"Miss me, brat?"  Fox was trying to part me from my clothes and I
chuckled. "Slow down, boy. There's no need to rush. We have all
night. And the Gods know that I need a bath."

Fox sighed but stopped his desperate attempt to disrobe me. After
I had undressed and put on a robe, Fox swiftly stripped and
followed me into the bathing chamber. I noticed that he was
unusually quiet and that, coupled with his earlier behavior, made
me suspicious. I settled into the water and studied the young
man.

"So, Fox, what have you been up to while I was gone?"

Fox started and flushed. "Um - nothing much, sir. It's been
pretty quiet here…" His voice trailed off.

"Fox."

He hung his head and refused to look at me. "Sir?"

"It will go far easier on you if you just confess your sins than
if I find out for myself." I frowned, thinking of the way that
William and Maggie had turned my attention away from Captain
Scully. "Perhaps I should talk to the Captain - "

"No!" Fox said quickly. "I -I'll tell you."

He settled at the far end of the bathing pool, as if wanting to
distance himself from me. I was suddenly getting a bad feeling
about this.

"No. Let me guess. Despite my instructions, despite my warnings,
you left the castle. You received a private message that someone
had something you wanted - information on your sister, perhaps? -
and would only tell you personally and only if you came alone. Am
I right so far?"

Fox's eyes were shut, his face pale. "Yes, sir," he whispered.

"Only it was a trap, of course. How did you get out of it?"

"Captain Scully." The words seemed to be dragged out of Fox. "She
- she got suspicious when she saw me leave and followed me. It
wasn't a trap - not really. The information was real.  At least
we think it is.  But the man was followed and - and they almost
got me." He looked at me with eyes wide with fear. "I -I'm in
serious trouble, aren't I?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Fox. This is big - this is really
big." I drew a deep breath, trying to control the fury I felt.
"Go to my room and get into place across the bench with my belt
in your mouth. I may be awhile but you had better be there."

"Yes, sir." Fox got out of the pool and dried himself, and I
caught the pitiful glance he threw my way. I kept my face stern,
however, and watched him head down the hallway with dragging
steps. Once he was gone, I got out of the pool and dried off, put
on my robe, and went in search of the rest of my merry band.

"William!"

William swung around and stared in surprise as he saw me crossing
the Great Hall wearing only a robe. "My lord?"

"Find your wife and Captain Scully and come to my study.
Immediately!"

I saw William swallow hard. "Yes, my lord."

I paced the floor in my study until the door opened, then turned
and fixed the three entering my office with a baleful stare.
William and Maggie exchanged nervous looks but Captain Scully
stood up straight.

"Fox told you what happened," she said.

"Captain Scully, when I arrived home you said that you had
something to tell me - and then these two distracted me and Fox
attempted to further distract me. Am I placing too much faith in
your intelligence to hope that you were planning on telling me
about this?"

"Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir, you're not. It was my intention to
tell you immediately. The marauders seemed to be trying to abduct
Milord Fox, and I doubt that they will give up. They must want
him badly."

"Yes, and his own actions are not helping matters." I gripped the
Captain's shoulder. "Thank you, Captain. I won't forget your
actions in saving my Fox."

Captain Scully flushed. "He's a very special person, sir. I would
hate to see him hurt."

I looked at the Captain sharply and she met my eyes with no
hesitation, and I felt my sudden worry disappear. It was clear
that Captain Scully loved Fox but it was also clear that it was a
selfless love, one she had no intention of acting on. It also
made her probably the best person to protect Fox. "I'm glad I can
rely on at least one person here to do what they are supposed to
do."  I glared at William and Maggie, then smiled back at Scully.
"Thank you, Captain - and now I'm sure that you want to attend to
your own discipline problem."

She nodded and left the room, and I turned back to William and
Maggie, sighing. "As for the two of you - why did you try to
prevent me from learning about Fox's latest escapade?"

"Because the lad was scared out of his mind," Maggie said
roundly. "He was afraid that you would beat him senseless over
this."

"I would never beat him senseless - no matter how provoked I am -
and you know that, Maggie. Although I can promise you that the
brat will be eating his meals standing up for a week." I sighed
and sat down in my chair, suddenly exhausted. And I still had
Fox's punishment to deal with when all I wanted was to take him
in my arms and lose myself in his warmth. "I know you meant well,
but you can't encourage him to avoid the consequences of his
actions. He's been getting away with that all his life and he has
no concept of the danger he subjects himself to because of that."
I fixed each of them with a stern look. "Am I understood? I will
not have my will crossed on this."

"Yes, my lord," Maggie said although there was a stubborn set
about her mouth that told me the issue wasn't over.

"Understood, my lord," William said.

"Right. Well," I pushed myself to my feet and sighed. "There's
still my brat to deal with."

"Couldn't it wait till the morning?" Maggie asked, a coaxing tone
in her voice. "You've had a long day, and Fox has missed you so
much. It seems a shame to spoil your homecoming like this."

For a moment I was tempted but I knew that the sooner the matter
was over the better for everyone. And I worried that it might set
a dangerous precedent if I delayed his punishment now, that he
might be tempted to disobey me again if I showed any weakness.

"No, I'll take care of it tonight. Good night."

I opened the door to my bedchamber and was greeted by the sight
of my slave on display. He was dutifully in place over the bench,
ass raised high with his head nearly touching the floor on the
other side. I saw the trembling in his body as he heard me enter.

"All right, Fox. Let's get this over with." I went down on one
knee beside him and removed the belt from his mouth, lifting his
head so his eyes could meet mine. "What are you being punished
for?"

His voice was flat as he cataloged his misdeeds. "For leaving the
castle alone and without permission to meet an unknown person.
For risking my life needlessly. For - for trying to - to seduce
you so that you wouldn't find out about it. I -I'm sorry about
that, Master."

Ah, that was very interesting, I thought. He recognized that he
had done wrong on the first three items but wasn't in the least
bit repentant. But the last one - that one touched his heart. I
wondered why.  It hadn't surprised me in the least that he had
tried to avoid punishment by distracting me, although I certainly
couldn't condone it. I had a feeling that Fox and I would have to
have a long talk about that tomorrow.

"Good," I said, ruffling his hair briefly. "I think you covered
everything." I stood up. "All right, Fox. Hold on tight, this is
going to be a long and painful session. Feel free to cry, scream,
beg, whatever you need to do but understand that I won't stop
until I'm satisfied that you've been sufficiently punished.
Understand?"

"Yes, Master," Fox's voice was faint and I could see him wrap his
hands around the legs of the bench.

I lifted the belt and brought it down on the upturned bottom and
I heard Fox gasp at the pain. I was not holding back anything; I
couldn't if I wanted this lesson to sink in. I thoroughly
strapped every inch of his bottom and the back of his thighs,
going back over it a second time until his ass was flaming red.
He had long since passed from gasps to apologies then begging and
was now just sobbing steadily. I lowered my aching arm and placed
my other hand on his back, gently stroking him to quiet and
reassure him.

"All right, Fox. It's all over. You can get up now."

"Yes, sir," he whispered, pushing himself upright with gasps of
pain.

I reached out to take his chin in my hand. "Don't ever make me
have to do that again, do you hear me?"

Fox's lip trembled and he threw himself against my chest, sobbing
again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"I imagine that you are," I said dryly, but I hugged him tight,
carefully avoiding his flaming skin. "And you'll have reason to
be even sorrier."

Fox lifted his head, tears arrested on his cheeks, and stared at
me in horror. "What - what else are you going to do to me?"

"You're going to be on a short leash this week - a very short
leash.  Literally.  For the following week, you will be on collar
and chain, at my heel wherever I go.  Disobedience will merit
immediate punishment.  I advise you to be on your best behavior
if you ever want to sit down again."

Fox’s face paled and he seemed to shiver.  "Gods -what if I
promise that I won't forget? If I swear that I'll never set a
foot outside the gate without a bodyguard?"

"Don't try to bargain with me, Fox. I can always make it for two
weeks." I looked at him sternly.  “I can be much more severe with
you about this, boy.  You should be thankful that you are getting
off so easily.”

“Yes, Master,” he said miserably.

I let go of him and pulled back the covers on the bed. "Bed,
cub."

He sighed and carefully crawled up on the bed, collapsing on his
stomach. “Master?”

I frowned over at him from where I was banking the fire.  “What
is it now, brat?”

“I – I wasn’t trying to run away.” 

I crossed to the bed and sat down on it, running my hand over his
tangled hair.  “I know, cub.  I also know how close I came to
losing you, and I won’t let that happen again.  If I have to whip
you daily or chain you to me, I will do it to keep you safe.  Do
you understand me?”

“Yes, Master.”  His voice was barely a whisper and I heard fresh
tears in it.  I almost relented at that but the thought of how
close this had been steeled my resolve.

“Go to sleep, brat,” I said and heard a little sigh from him.
And before I could strip off my robe and slide under the sheets,
he was sound asleep.

Fox

I woke in the early morning, long before dawn, shivering with
cold while my backside and head throbbed with pain.  Wistfully, I
thought about the wonderful salve that Lord Walter had applied
the last time he had whipped me like this.  But even if I had
known where he kept it, I wouldn’t have dared to apply it to
myself.  Lord Walter had done it immediately afterward last time,
and if he hadn’t done it this time, then this was no doubt part
of the punishment.

Unable to lie still any longer, I slipped quietly out of bed and
went to stand in front of the fire.  My head and backside felt
like they were blazing with heat but the rest of me was shivering
with cold.  I went to the wardrobe and fetched my new cloak,
wrapping it around myself which seemed to help a little.  As I
was closing the wardrobe door, light glinted off something
hanging on a peg in there.  I knew what it was and, reluctantly,
I took it out of the closet.  Sitting gingerly in front of the
fire, I looked down at the horrible thing in my hand.

It was my slave collar, made of the same base material as my
first slave earring with a sturdy lock to secure it around my
neck, and I hated it.  If I closed my eyes, I could still
remember the feeling of being held down in the prison, kicking
and screaming in terror while that thing was fitted around my
neck and locked in place.  The helplessness, the horror of my
situation, the certainty that this indignity would be followed by
my rape at the hands of the brutal guards holding me in place –
all these things were burned into my memory.  When the slaver had
immediately appeared, ordering me to be taken to the cart for
transport to the slave pens, I had nearly fainted with relief.  I
had never been so glad to see anyone in my life – not until Lord
Walter came into it, at any rate.  And when Sir Reginald’s
servants removed that damned thing so that I could be cleaned, I
had silently thanked every deity I knew. I had been overjoyed
that Lord Walter didn’t think it necessary for me to wear that
thing and had done my best to forget that it existed.  Until now.

A tear splashed onto the dull metal.  Over the past months, I had
become so accustomed to Lord Walter’s gentle treatment of me that
I had forgotten my true place in this household.  I was not his
lover, his concubine, or even his pet.  I was his slave, pure and
simple, until the day that my servitude ended or he sold me to
another.  Despite everything, I had persisted in believing that I
was becoming something more to my master, that the connections
forming between us were more than just master and slave.  That
someday he might truly love me as an equal.  But now the truth
stared me in the face, and it was as ugly as the metal band that
symbolized it.  And in a few short hours, he would be the one to
hold me down and put this horrible thing back on me.

My heart failed me at that and I could hardly draw a breath.  I
couldn’t bear that thought, that the man who I loved with my
whole heart would become just like all the others in my memory.
If I had to wear this damned thing, it would be my own hand and
not his.  It was my fault that I had been brought to this low
point in my life, mine alone, and I would pay the penalty for it.
My hands shook as I placed the band around my neck and snapped
the lock in place. 

I stared at the key for a long moment and then threw it into the
fireplace.  I would never take the collar off again.  It would
remain around my neck, a silent symbol of what I truly was, until
the day that my master released me or sold me to another.  Which
would also be the day of my death, because I knew that my heart
would truly break.

Curling up in a ball, I lay staring into the fire, alternating
between burning with shame and shivering with dread as I waited
for the morning.

Chapter 6

Walter

When I woke in the morning, I was alone in my bed.  Still caught
in a vivid dream where I had lost Fox in a sudden gray mist, I
sat up quickly and looked around for my slave, relieved to see
him standing in front of the fireplace.  He was already dressed
and, at my movement, came forward to help me from the bed and
wrapped my robe around me.  I was grateful for the warmth and
made my way into the privy chamber to relieve myself, splashing
cold water on my face before returning to my chair in front of
the fire.  Fox had my breakfast waiting for me and I smiled at
him, noting that he looked a little pale this morning.  I wasn’t
surprised that he was taking this punishment hard but I couldn’t
afford to be lenient, not when his life was at stake.

“Good morning, my Fox.  You are up early this morning.”  I
indicated that he should sit at my feet.

He smiled wryly and knelt, wincing as he did so.  “I had a little
trouble sleeping.”

I chuckled and shook my head, although I silently castigated
myself for forgetting to apply the salve to his backside.  I had
been so exhausted that it had completely slipped my mind, and I
regretted that my poor Fox had been forced to be more miserable. 
I would remedy that, though – after lunch I would bring him back
to my bedchamber for a nap.  I would hold him in my arms and kiss
him tenderly while I told him how afraid I was of losing him.  I
would administer the salve with my own hands, and I would gently
make love to him.  And then, while he rested in my arms in drowsy
blissfulness, I would risk telling him of my love, of my desire
that he remain with me always.

But for now, I must remain the stern master to reinforce his
punishment.  “And you have only yourself to blame for that.  When
you see Maggie next, ask for the salve.  There’s no point in
being completely miserable, as long as you have learned your
lesson.  Have you, Fox?” 

He bowed his head and I thought I saw him shiver as he murmured,
“Yes, Master.”

I caught sight of the band of metal around his neck and let one
finger trail over it for a moment.  While I disliked the baseness
of the metal, the sight of it around Fox’s neck stirred my
possessive instincts.  I thought idly that I would have a
necklace made for my Fox when I returned to town.  Something
beautiful to fit his own beauty.  The Gods knew that there was
enough gold and jewelry in that cask of jewels that had belonged
to my late wife, enough to create a dozen or more such ornaments.
Something slim and elegant, a gold circlet set with emeralds
perhaps.  The image of Fox writhing under me, naked except for an
elegant circlet about his neck, made my cock recall that it had
been several days since I had last made love to him.  I was about
to drag him back to bed to remedy this situation when a sharp
knock on the door made me recall that there were duties to be
performed first.

“Come in, Captain,” I called out and turned my head to watch the
Amazon enter the chamber.

“Your pardon, Lord Walter, but you wanted to know when the troops
were ready for inspection.”

I sighed.  “Very well.  I will be out in a few minutes.”  Scully
nodded and left while Fox silently got to his feet, fetching my
clothes.  I wondered about his continued silence as I quickly
dressed, figuring that the boy was sulking as he sometimes did
after being punished.  I knew that he would get over it soon
enough – either on his own or with a warning swat to help him.

After he laced up my boots, Fox held up a thin piece of leather,
attaching one end to the ring on his collar.  I smiled in
approval and ruffled his hair, then wrapped my cloak around me
and led the way out to the courtyard.  Fox followed at my heels,
maintaining the proper distance and keeping his eyes focused on
the ground as he should.  I couldn’t help feeling proud of the
way that he was conducting himself, even if he was still sulking.


The troops were lined up orderly, even those that had returned
with us from the outpost, and I was pleased to see that three
months away from here under bad management had not demoralized
them completely.  Not that I didn’t have complete faith in
Scully’s ability to whip them back into shape quickly enough, but
it was a good sign that they fell back into the routine so well. 
I did notice slouching and murmuring at the back of the troop and
recognized Colton and one of his cronies in the center of it,
then heard Scully sharply correct them.  Satisfied, I nodded to
Scully that she could dismiss the men and she sent them off to
their assigned posts and then joined me on the steps.

“They’re looking good, Captain,” I said, smiling at her.  She
nodded but I noticed a slight frown.  “What?”

“A few comments from Colton and his friend, Modell,” she said
reluctantly, flicking her eyes towards my shadow in a way that
told me the subject of the comments if not their tone.

“Trouble, Scully?”  I frowned, not liking the idea of a serpent
here among my men.  I had become aware over the past few months
that the men had come to regard Fox with respect and I didn’t
want anything to jeopardize that.

“Nothing I can’t handle, my Lord.  Some extra work will take cure
their libidos.”  Her eyes twinkled wickedly and I would have felt
heartily sorry for Colton and his friends if I hadn’t felt that
they deserved everything they got.

“If not, dismiss them.  I won’t have Fox bothered by them.”

Scully nodded and went about her duties and, having no business
for the day, I headed for the library.  As I expected, Maggie had
an early luncheon ready for us.  Fox brought a plate to my chair
and then settled quietly at my feet but not against my legs as he
usually did.  I sighed at that; I did not want to deal with a
sulky brat this afternoon when I had much more enjoyable plans in
mind.

“I think that cloak is a little heavy for in here,” I said,
noting that he hadn’t removed it yet.  Without a murmur, he
removed it, folding it carefully and sitting on it.  “And don’t
forget to speak to Maggie about that salve.”

“Yes, Master,” Fox said quietly. 

Tugging at his hair, I said, “Don’t sulk, brat.  And get
something to eat – I won’t have you starving yourself.”  With a
sigh, Fox got to his feet and fetched himself a plate and a
goblet of ale, quickly draining it and pouring another.  He was
less eager to eat, breaking off pieces of bread and playing with
them until I sharply admonished him to eat.  I regretted that a
moment later as, hastily stuffing the piece of bread in his
mouth, he choked on it and began coughing violently.  With an
irritated growl at this nonsense, I reached over to thump his
back to help him – and halted abruptly as I felt the waves of
heat rolling off his skin through the thick shirt.  I pulled him
up on my lap and felt his forehead. 

“Fox!  You’re burning up with fever!”

“I’m fine, Master,” he protested weakly.  “Just a little warm – “

“You’re sick, brat, and you’re going back to bed right now.” 

I swung him up into my arms and stood, heading for my chambers,
shouting for Maggie as I hurried along.  I could feel the fever
burning his body but his teeth chattered as if he was cold.  I
began stripping off his clothes, looking up only briefly as
Maggie hurried in.

“Fox is sick,” I said sharply.  Fox was protesting my attempt to
strip him and I growled, “Lie still, boy.”  Once he was naked, I
ran my hands over his body, seeking any wounds that might have
gotten infected or any unusual lumps that might indicate a
parasite.  Finding nothing, I paused to spread the salve that
Maggie had brought over his blistered bottom and then rolled him
onto his back, covering his shivering body with a blanket.

“When did you start feeling sick?”

“I didn’t start feeling really bad until early this morning – “

I gave an exasperated sigh.  “When did you start feeling even a
little bit bad?”

“Um – when I got back after – after going to the village.  I felt
a little shaky and I couldn’t seem to get warm.”

I wanted to shake him with exasperation.  “Why didn’t you say
anything to anyone?”

Fox gave Maggie a sideways look from under his lashes.  “How?
They locked me in the room, and I didn’t start feeling sick until
after Maggie had left.”

I ground my teeth.  “You could have said something when Maggie
brought your meals.  Or when I got home last night.  Or this
morning.”

Fox pouted, looking absurdly like a little boy with his face all
flushed and his hair sticking up in all directions.  “Yes,
Master.”

“Brat,” I said softly, caressing his flushed cheek.  “You have
only yourself to blame if you feel miserable, but we’ll do
everything we can to make you more comfortable.”

He turned his head to kiss my palm, murmuring, “Thank you,
Master.”

Between Maggie and me, we bathed him with cool water and put him
into a fresh bedgown, then she brought a mug of herb tea.  Fox
drank it thirstily and then lay back down on the bed.  I sat
beside him, holding his hand and talking quietly to him until he
dropped into an easy sleep.  I brushed his tousled hair out of
his face and kissed his forehead, then moved over to the chair so
that I could watch him while he slept.

Before long, though, Fox became restless, tossing on the bed and
muttering in his sleep.  I went back to sit beside him, thinking
that my presence would bring him out of his nightmare, but he
appeared to be gripped in a fever-induced delirium and it was a
long time before he looked at me with something approaching
rationality in his eyes.

“Master,” he murmured.  “Thirsty.”

I poured a glass of barley water from the pitcher that Maggie had
left and propped him up so that he could drink it.  He emptied
the glass and then leaned back against me with a little sigh.  I
noted with concern that his fever seemed just as high as before
and that he had not yet broken into a sweat.  I coaxed him into
sitting up and stripped off his bedgown, then bathed him down
with cool water again before putting him back in the gown and
pulling the blankets back over him.  By the time I had him
settled again, he was half-asleep and readily swallowed another
cup of Maggie’s herbal tea before falling into another deep
sleep.

My hopes that he would rest easier now were short in duration.
Within an hour, he was tossing again, gripped in delirium.  His
hands tore at his throat, gouging at the skin until I held them
both in my own hands to keep him from harming himself.

“Collar – can’t breathe – “ he gasped, the tone of his voice
rising with his desperation. 

I ran a finger under the collar, noting that it was loose and not
choking him in any way.  “Fox, it’s not – “

He screamed in terror, fighting against me in earnest, and I
could tell from his delirium-filled eyes that he didn’t recognize
me.  “Take it away!  Gods – please, please – take it off!  Let me
go, let me go – “

It suddenly occurred to me that Fox was reliving some kind of
trauma related to his being collared, and I hurriedly looked
around for the key.  Not finding it, I finally dragging out of
the nearly hysterical man that he had thrown it into the
fireplace.  My lips tightened at that, wondering how I could have
possibly missed the fact that Fox hated that collar and that what
was supposed to be punishment was torture instead.  With the aid
of the poker, I extracted the key, dropping it into a basin of
water to cool it, then unfastened the collar and threw the
hideous thing across the room. 

Rubbing the salve along the scratches on his throat, I murmured
soothingly, “It’s gone, Fox.  The collar is gone, and I promise
you’ll never have to wear it again.”

He blinked his eyes and smiled weakly as he recognized me, and I
felt a warmth spread through my stomach.  Fox sighed wearily and
held out his arms like a child asking for a hug.  “Master?”

I pulled him up against my shoulder, rubbing his back in small
circles, and he sighed again in contentment.  I held him in my
arms until his breathing relaxed into a more normal pattern and
he dropped back into sleep, and then once more tucked him under
the covers.

I didn’t indulge a hope that this would last long and I wasn’t
wrong.  Within an hour, he was thrashing and delirious.  His
fever refused to break and he moaned almost constantly from the
pain in his head and body.  To my deepening anxiety, he seemed to
have trouble breathing.  I propped him up on the pillows to help
but his breathing sounded wet and raspy to my ears.  When Maggie
came back to check on him, we exchanged troubled looks across the
bed.

“It’s the lung-sickness, isn’t it?” I asked her in a low voice,
my heart sinking as she nodded silently.  I had seen it before in
my soldiers, among those who had been wounded and bedridden, and
had seen previously healthy men reduced to thin and shaky wreaks,
coughs racking their fevered bodies.  I had seen more than one
man die from this sickness. 

“How bad – “ I began, and then terror gripped my heart when
Maggie refused to meet my eyes.  “No!  I won’t let him die,” I
said fiercely.  “I don’t care what we have to do, but Fox is not
going to die!”

Leaving Maggie to sit with Fox, I strode across the courtyard to
the armory where I found Scully supervising her miscreants while
they inventoried, cleaned and repaired the weapons and armor. 

She moved to meet me, saying in a hushed voice, “You will pardon
my saying this, but you look terrible.  I heard that Milord Fox
was ill.  Is it very bad, then?”

“Lung sickness,” I said briefly.  “Nothing we’ve done is working.
Would you send one of the men for Sister Melissa?”

“I’ll go myself,” Scully said, picking up her cloak and walking
towards the stables.  I followed her, describing his symptoms
while she asked a few questions for clarity, then watched as she
raced out of the castle towards the village before I returned to
Fox’s side.

Maggie looked up in relief as I entered the room, and I could see
that she was struggling to keep Fox in the bed.  “Thank goodness!
He’s delirious – thinks you’re in danger – “

I took Maggie’s place on the bed, firmly grasping Fox’s shoulders
as he thrashed and tried to get away.  "Fox!  Fox, it's all
right."

He blinked his eyes, clutching at me when they finally came into
focus.  "Master!  I thought - I thought I lost you."

I sat down, pulling him up against me and rubbing his back
soothingly.  "You haven't lost me, brat.  I'm right here."

He rubbed his head fretfully against my shoulder.  "You were
gone…and it was dark…and I couldn't find you.  I looked and I
looked but you were gone."  Fingers like talons clutched at me.
"You won't leave me, will you?"

I kissed his fevered forehead and said gruffly, "I won't leave
you.  I swear it.  You're stuck with me for life, brat."

"Good," he muttered and fell back into a restless doze again.
Once more, Maggie and I wiped him down with cool water and tried
to make him more comfortable.  He seemed to be worse than before,
though, muttering and screaming in his delirium.  I tried to
calculate in my mind how long Scully had been gone, how long it
would take her to get to the village and back, and wondered how
much longer Fox could hold out.

Just as I was beginning to despair, the door opened and Scully
entered with the scarlet-cloaked figure of her sword sister
beside her.  Melissa didn't pause for greetings, moving
immediately to Fox's side.  She looked at his eyes, inside his
mouth, and then laid her head on his chest before straightening
up with a sigh.

"It's the pneumonia," she said quietly.  She must have seen the
desperation in my face for she laid her hand on my sleeve and
said, “Do not despair yet, Lord Walter.  I have some medicines
that have been of help in cases like this.”  Then she smiled
slightly.  “I’d tell you to go rest, but I have the feeling that
you won’t leave this lad’s side without force.”

For what seemed like hours, the three of us worked under Sister
Melissa’s direction, grinding herbs to bathe Fox’s fevered body,
making tinctures for him to drink to ease the tightness in his
chest and the pain in his head.  I watched as the Amazon healer
mixed some vile looking potion, raising my eyebrow as she told me
it was made from mold. 

She smiled at that.  “I promise that I’m not trying to poison
him.  This is a medicine known among my people for centuries.”
She handed me the cup.  “Now, if you can just convince Fox to
drink this – “

We had already learned through experience that Fox’s delirium
made him fight against anyone who touched him and only I could
break through the haze enough to catch his attention.  I sat down
on the bed and stroked his cheek tenderly.

“Open up, Fox,” I ordered and, the minute his mouth opened,
ruthlessly tilted the vile stuff down his throat. 

He choked and sputtered.  “Ugh! Awful!” he protested tearfully.

I wiped down his face with another cool cloth.  “I know, my
heart, but it’s for your own good.”

“That’s what you usually say when you’re about to do something I
won’t like,” he said faintly. 

I couldn’t help laughing at that – it sounded so much like his
normal self.  “I live to torment you, my Fox.  So you must live
to keep me amused.”

“I’ll try, Master,” he murmured, his eyes drifting shut again.
“Tired…”

“I know, cub,” I said tenderly, leaning forward to kiss his hot
forehead.  “Rest now.”

I sat holding his hand for a long time until I felt a hand on my
shoulder.  “You should rest as well,” Sister Melissa said,
holding up her other hand at my protest.  “He’ll sleep for a long
while now.  Go – eat, bathe, rest.”

My stomach rumbled and I couldn’t remember the last time I had
eaten.  I realized that I didn’t even have any idea how long it
had been since Fox had fallen ill, although it felt like a year
at least.

“All right,” I said reluctantly.  “You’ll let me know – “

Scully nodded, pushing me toward the door.  “We’ll get you if
there should be any change.  Now go.  Melissa and I will watch
him while you and Maggie rest.”

Wearily, I headed down the hallway to the bathing chamber and
sank into the warm water with a grateful side.  As tired as I
was, I didn’t dare to linger for fear that I would fall asleep
here.  Maggie brought me a bedgown and a plate of meatrolls,
telling me that the guest room upstairs had been readied for me
to sleep in.  I nodded and wearily made my way upstairs, and was
asleep before my head hit the pillow.

When I awoke, it was dark outside again and I felt stiff from
sleeping so long.  There was a covered plate on the bed table but
I wasn't hungry.  What I needed was to be back at Fox's side,
watching over him.  Since I had been left to sleep so long, it
was apparent that Fox's condition hadn't changed, and I didn't
know whether that was good or bad.  I belted on my heavy robe and
headed downstairs.

Opening the door to the bedchamber, I saw that Fox was resting
quietly, either asleep or unconscious.  The Amazon healer was
standing beside the bed, her eyes closed.  She was holding Fox's
amulet above him, concentrating on something, so I closed the
door quietly.  My bare feet were cold and I went to the wardrobe
to look for my favorite house shoes.  Not finding them there, I
began searching the room, trying not to disturb the healer. 

I nearly jumped out of my skin when she said, quietly, "They're
under the bed."

"What?"

"Your slippers.  Fox told me that you always leave them there
when you go to bed."

I looked there and found them, thinking that Fox must have come
back to consciousness while I slept although why they would have
discussed my shoes was beyond me.  "When did he tell you that?"

"Just now."  She opened her eyes and smiled at me across the bed,
then reached out for my hand.  Holding it over Fox's chest, palm
down, she said, "He's here.  He knows what's happening, what we
are doing and saying."

I frowned, pulling my hand away.  "I'm sorry, Sister Scully.  You
are a wise woman and I admire your healing abilities, but I can't
believe that."

"Can't - or won't?"  Her eyes were cool but sympathetic. 

"Aren't they really the same?"  I turned away from her and walked
over to the fireplace.  "I lost my faith a long time ago, when I
learned what people - even religious people -were capable of
doing in the name of politics and religion."

"There are others who have suffered as greatly as you, and they
have kept their faith.  Like Fox, here."

My lips twisted.  "Yes, well, Fox is special.  He wants to
believe.  And maybe he is stronger than I am."

"He needs your strength now."  I turned my head sharply at the
tone in her voice, a sad and almost resigned tone.  "Fox is
deciding whether or not to move on.  He needs your help."

"My help to die?"  I was horrified at the idea.

"Or to live."  She tucked the amulet back into Fox's hand and
walked over to the door, turning to look at me.  "Talk to him,
Lord Walter.  I think that there is much that you have to say to
him.  And much that he has to say to you as well."

I stared at the closed door for a long moment, then walked over
to the bed and looked down into the face of the man I loved.  He
was so quiet and still, so peaceful, that for a moment I feared
that he was dead.  Only the slow rise and fall of his chest
reassured me that he was still on this side. 

With a groan, I fell to my knees beside the bed and buried my
face in the blanket, my head over his heart.  "Fox.  Don't leave
me.  Please, please don't leave me.  I need you.  I love you.  If
you die -"  My voice choked on a sob and then all the longing and
love and fear came rushing out of me.  I wept as I hadn't since I
had held vigil over my father's slain body and held onto Fox's
hand as tightly as I could. 

Fox

There was a heavy weight on my chest.  Actually, there were two
weights - one inside and one outside - but it was the outside
weight that seemed the most important at the moment.  I blinked
open my eyes and tried to lift my head so that I could see what
the weight was, but the world around me seemed fuzzy, covered in
darkness.  Panicked, I tried to move but my arms and legs felt
like lead.

"Where - " My voice sounded like a croaked whisper and I tried
again.  "Where am I?"

There was movement around the area of my chest, and Lord Walter
looked up, a smile starting to lighten those deep brown eyes.
"With me."

"Oh. Good."  It sounded like a reasonable answer and there was
something very nearly like joy in his voice, so I thought that
being with him must be a good thing.  Echoes of memory whispered
in my head.  "Not leaving you," I murmured.  "Never leaving you."

Lord Walter cleared his throat and if I hadn't known him better,
I would have sworn that it sounded like he had been crying.
"Good. Now go back to sleep, cub."

Something else hovered on the edge of my memory, something I
should remember, something important.  But my head ached and I
was so tired.  It would wait till morning, I thought.  "Hold me?"
I asked sleepily, unable to keep my eyes open another second.

A moment later, I felt a warm body slide into bed next to me and
I rolled into his arms with a contented sigh.  I slept.

Chapter 7

Walter

It would be too much to say that Fox was back to his old self in
no time - he wasn't.  The worst of his illness had dragged on for
three days and had left him shattered in body.  He remained bed-
ridden for another week, racked by coughs so painful that it tore
out my heart to hear them.  His appetite was non-existent and he
had to be coaxed to eat anything, and I could see all the weight
we had managed to put back on him slipping away daily.  It was a
frighteningly fragile man that I held in my arms at night as my
fingers tracing the all too apparent bones, and it took all of
our concerted efforts to keep his thin body warm.  Not that he
gave us any trouble - and that was another frightening thing.
This Fox was docile and obedient, meekly swallowing his medicine
and eating what little his stomach could manage.  Gone was the
headstrong young man who had captured my heart and left in his
place was a boy who I feared had been shattered in spirit as well
as body. 

After the first heart-wrenching week, Fox began to strengthen and
slowly put on weight, and Maggie allowed him to get out of bed
for a few hours every day.  Our days fell into a routine over the
next few weeks.  After waking up, I would coax him to eat warm
spiced cereal and then carry him to the bathing chamber where I
washed him and let him relax in the warm water while Maggie
tidied up the bedchamber.  Then I carried him back to my chamber
where I gave him a massage to ease bed-ridden muscles, put him
into a fresh bedgown and tucked him back in bed.  At this point,
Fox was usually worn out and would nap until lunchtime when he
would manage some soup.  The late afternoons were the best for
Fox would be rested and we'd spend a few hours before supper
sitting in front of the fire, although gone were the spirited
discussions of the past.  This Fox was content to sit quietly and
let me read to him.  Then, after supper, I would tuck him back
into bed and he was usually asleep within minutes.  I generally
fell into bed shortly afterwards, more worn out by nursing Fox
than by the fiercest combat.

After two weeks of this, Fox suddenly asked one afternoon if we
could sit in the library and I nearly crowed with joy at this
first sign of interest in anything.  Wrapping him as warmly as if
we were going on an artic expedition, I carried him into the
library and settled him into my big chair.  He patiently bore
with my fussing over him although he protested when I sat down on
the floor next to his legs instead of in the other chair.  I
ignored him, leaning my body against his legs, and that ended his
protests.  Instead, I felt his hand on my head, gently stroking
my scalp as if fascinated with it.  I closed my eyes and relaxed
under his touch. 

“Master?”

“Hmm.”

“You don’t have to stay here with me.  I know that you must be
busy – “ His voice was soft, tentative, and I hated the
uncertainty in it.

“I want to be here,” I said firmly, then looked up at him with a
smile.  “No one else in the castle will massage my head.”  He
laughed softly at that and leaned over to press a kiss against my
scalp.  “Besides, I don’t want to be that far away from you.  I
can’t believe how close I came to losing you, my Fox.”

We sat silent again for a long time and I nearly fell asleep
under the skillful attention of those long fingers.

"Master?"

Sleepily, I murmured, "Yes, Fox?"

"I can't find my collar."

That got my attention.  I turned my head to look up at him,
frowning.  "What do you mean - you can't find it?"

He flushed slightly but there was a stubborn look that I knew
well on his face.  "I - looked for it yesterday.  While you
thought I was napping."

If it wasn't for the need to maintain discipline, I would have
pulled him into my lap and kissed him insensible.  My Fox was
back, troublesome and lovable brat that he was.  "You did what?
Do you want to have a relapse?  Getting out of bed, hunting all
over the room, in bare feet no doubt - you haven't got a bit of
sense, have you?"

Fox ignored this inconsequential scolding.  "You said I was
supposed to wear the collar but I couldn't find it."

It was my turn to flush.  "I destroyed it," I muttered.

"You did what?"

I took a deep breath.  "I destroyed it – had it melted down.
It's gone," I said looking back up at him.  "You won't ever have
to wear that thing again, I swear it.  And if I had known how you
felt about it, I wouldn't have said that in the first place."

He blinked.  "I'm a slave.  Why should it matter how I feel about
anything?"

Now was the time, my heart urged.  Now was the time to tell him
how I felt about him.  "It matters," I said shortly.  "You are
more than just a slave to me, Fox.  Much more.”  I hesitated,
torn between my need to tell him how much I loved him and afraid
of what his reaction would be if I asked him to stay with me.
“And that still doesn't change the fact that you were wandering
about -practically naked in the middle of winter - when you
nearly died - "

His lip stuck out in the pout that I adored and I had the
fleeting thought of "Discipline be damned!" before I reached out
and pulled him into my lap.  I kissed him thoroughly, giving in
to the need to reconnect, and when I finally released him his
eyes were dazed.

"M-Master?" he managed to gasp. 

I grinned down at him and stroked his cheek.  "Yes, my heart?"

"I thought - you haven't kissed me like that since I got sick.  I
thought you didn't want me…that I looked ugly to you now."

I kissed him again, even more thoroughly, to disabuse any such
notion.  "Idiot," I said softly when I let him back up, wheezing
a bit as he tried to catch his breath.  "You've been so sick.  I
didn't want to do anything that might hurt you."

He pressed his lips against mine, gently.  "I'm fine now, Master.
And I want you."

"Fox - "

"Please, Master?"  His lips moved down my face, along my jaw, and
down my neck.  "I need you so badly."

My blood caught fire and I stood up, lifting his body up in my
arms.  It was only when I got us into the bedchamber that I began
to have doubts again.  Stripped naked, he was still so thin that
I could feel his hipbones when I ran my hands over his body.

"I don't know, Fox, " I began, afraid that my heavier body would
bruise him.

He pressed his body against mine, kissing me again.  "I could sit
on top of you."

My favorite fantasy suddenly flared to life in my mind and I knew
that, finally, this was the right time.  "I've got a better
idea."

I pulled him down on top of me on the bed and saw him grin before
I kissed him insensible again.  When we broke apart, I pulled my
knees up against my chest and watched his eyes widen in
disbelief.

"M-master?"

I reached up a hand to caress his cheek.  "Yes, my heart.  I want
you inside me."  I saw the flush of arousal on his face and it
was even better than my fantasy.

"I've never - I don't want to hurt you." 

I pulled his head down for a brief kiss.  "You won't.  And I'm
not a virgin.  Just prepare me the way I do you and I'll be
fine."

His eyes caught fire at that and he kissed me hard before sitting
back up and reaching for the pot on the nightstand.  Tentatively,
he pressed an oiled finger into me and then two.  I hissed at the
unfamiliar stretching as a third finger joined the others and his
eyes darkened with worry but I caught his head and kissed him
until he forgot everything else but the need to be buried deep
inside me.  He slid home in one smooth stroke, panting as he lay
across my chest, and I kissed whatever I could reach on his face
before bucking my hips upward to show that I was ready for more.

That was all it took.  His body came to life above mine, hips
thrusting as he pushed himself up on his knees and pulled my legs
over his shoulders.  I hissed again but this time from pleasure
and rocked my body to meet his thrusts, moaning as I felt that
long, slender cock brush over my pleasure spot. 

"Gods!  Just like that!"

Fox dropped his head, ravaging my mouth with his.  "So good -
never knew - Gods, so good!"

He had changed the angle of his thrusts, driving deeply into my
body, and it was so good that I couldn't remember why I hadn't
liked it in the past.  Fox was babbling, nonsense words mixed in
with my name, and I don't even think he knew what he was saying
but it didn't matter.  Waves of pleasure were racking my body,
pushing me towards ecstasy, and I reached for my cock in
desperate need.  One touch was all it took.

"Yes! Fox!"

I heard his yelp of surprise as my internal muscles tightened
around him and forced my pleasure-sated eyes open.  I wanted to
see this, wanted to watch him as he came inside me for the first
time.  His face was flushed and strained with pleasure, sweat
dripping off him, and I thought that he had never looked more
beautiful.  And then, when he opened his eyes and stared down at
me, I knew that I would never forget the look in his eyes, not
even if I lived to be a hundred. 

“Walter,” he murmured as he pressed soft kisses across my face.
"Beautiful...so beautiful."

I folded my arms around him and pulled him down to rest his tired
head on my shoulder, smiling contentedly at the ceiling as I felt
him slip immediately into an exhausted sleep.  It had been better
than good, better than I had ever known it could be, better than
every fantasy.  And the look in his eyes when he came inside me
was the greatest gift that I had ever known.

Fox loved me.  Of that I now had no doubt.  With his heart and
his body and soul. 

But I still didn't have a clue whether or not he would stay with
me.

Chapter Eight

Fox

The horses were stamping their feet impatiently in the cold
morning air.  I looked over at them, then back at Lord Walter,
resolutely pasting a smile on my face.  It didn't fool him in the
least, though.  Tenderly, he cupped my cheek.

"Don't look so sad, my cub.  I must make the rounds of all my
vassals, ensuring that they are ready for the spring planting.
I'll be back in a month – less if the roads are in decent shape."

"I'll miss you, Master," I murmured, nuzzling my face into his
hand and kissing the palm.  "Are you certain that I cannot go
with you?"

"Fox, it's only been a month and you're still recovering.  This
morning, you coughed for a full 10 minutes upon waking, and I
thought you were going to pass out from lack of air.  Trudging
from keep to keep in this damp weather could cause a relapse and
I won't risk that."  He grinned at me.  "Besides, Maggie would
kill me if I tried to take you along."

"But I'll miss you," I said, knowing my voice sounded forlorn.
It had only been two days since I had intimately known the
pleasures of this man's body for the first time and he had yet to
reclaim my body as his.  I could hardly bear to be out of his
sight, much less so many hundreds of miles apart.

He enfolded me in his arms.  "And I will miss you, my heart.  But
it is only for a month."

"But who will look after you?  Bathe you and keep your clothing?"

He chuckled.  "I am capable of looking after myself, Fox.  And if
not, I'm sure that I'll be able to find someone to help."

I frowned, not liking that thought.  Even more upsetting was the
thought that Lord Walter might take others into his bed while he
was away from me.  Not that I had any right to protest.  If Lord
Walter wanted to take a different lover into his bed every night,
it was his right.  I should be grateful that he hadn't done that
here before my eyes, and that he hadn't tired of me or given me
to others.

He kissed my forehead, smoothing away my frown. "Don't worry, my
cub.  There is none other who could hope to take your place."  He
squeezed me and let me go.  "However, if I don't leave now, I'll
never make the first keep before dark."

I followed him to his horse, standing by his stirrup as he pulled
on his gloves and looked around.  "Lt. Lamana, are we ready?"

"Aye, my lord."

He looked over my head at Captain Scully as she came to stand
behind me.  "I leave Beauforte and my Fox in your capable hands,
Captain."

"Thank you, my lord," Scully said gravely.  "I will guard both of
them with my life."

He nodded and looked down at me again.  "No moping, brat.  I
expect you to eat all your meals, and sleep properly – in my bed,
not on the floor.  You have your studies to keep you busy, and
I'll write to you every week to let you know of our progress."

I could feel the smile blossom on my face.  "You will?  Oh, thank
you, Master!"

There was a peculiar expression on Lord Walter's face and he
abruptly leaned over and kissed me hard.  "I shall miss you
greatly, my heart," he murmured against my lips.  "Make yourself
strong for me, and I promise you a reunion that you will never
forget."

Lord Walter straightened and signaled to Lamana, then rode out of
the castle at the head of his troop.  I raced across the
courtyard and ran up the steps to the castle's battlements.
Standing on the highest part of the castle, I watched him ride
away from me until my straining eyes could see nothing but a
faint dot on the horizon.

"Milord Fox," said a gentle voice behind me.  "Come down from
here.  You are still unwell, and standing in this chill wind will
be your death."

Reluctantly, I let Scully lead me down to the manor house, let
Maggie fuss over me and tuck me into bed with a warm brick at my
feet and a cup of hot soup in my hands.  But my heart was far
away, riding over the mud and snow-streaked land, and moving
farther away with every breath.

************************

The first week dragged by, each day an eternity to be endured.  I
went through the motions because I knew Lord Walter would want me
to, but I had little interest in anything.  I spent most of my
days in either the library or Lord Walter's chamber.  I slept
fitfully at best, more often than not falling asleep in the chair
by the fire while reading because I was unable to bear sleeping
in that big bed alone.  My appetite vanished although Maggie
coaxed me to eat, tempting me with my favorite dishes.  Even my
favorite books held no interest for me.

The end of the first week was marked by the arrival of a
messenger, bearing scrolls for William with the planting
estimates and repair needs – and a small missive for me.  I
snatched it up without even a semblance of good manners and fled
to the library to read it.  Breaking the seal, I hastily scanned
the lines but saw no word of trouble, so I started again at the
top, reading slowly.

My dear Fox – I hope that this missive finds you well and in good
spirits, although I am doubtful about either.  I don’t believe
that I need to remind you of the penalty for abusing your body,
do I?  I am well, though cold and wet more often than not.  I
will be glad to be back snug at home, and have thought wistfully
of you and our afternoons in the library on more than one
occasion.  And sleeping in my solitary – and generally hard – bed
at night reminds me of other comforts that I am missing.  I
suppose that I am getting soft in my dotage.  Be well and behave.
Your Walter

I hugged the paper to my chest, chiding myself for being foolish
over a simple note.  The teasing tenderness had undone me,
however, and I buried my face in the rug and cried myself to
sleep.

Waking in the early evening, I was surprised to find that my
heart felt lighter, calmer than it had all week.  I suppose that
I had needed to do that, to release my fear and sadness.  One
week was behind us, Lord Walter was well, and his words had been
reassuring.  No doubt it was my overactive imagination, but there
seemed to be a deeper emotion behind his words, something that I
might have even called love.

"I love you, too," I whispered into the night, and suddenly I
realized that I was very hungry.

And so the weeks dragged by, each punctuated by the arrival of
the messenger from Lord Walter.  I read each note over a hundred
times, each word etched into my memory, before carefully folding
them and tucking them into my pouch.  I had recovered some of my
usual spirits and I know that both Maggie and Scully were
relieved to see my appetite return to something closer to normal.
I still had troubles sleeping, though, and my dreams were filled
with images of Lord Walter being hurt.  And I still slept in the
chair more often than not.  But in the daylight, I was able to
shrug off the nightmares.

And then the fourth week had passed but this time with no
messenger.  Scully frowned but said that perhaps the man was
delayed, or Lord Walter was on his way home and so sent no
messenger when he would be back with us soon.  When no messenger
arrived on the second day, I panicked but Scully and Maggie
reassured me that it was not uncommon for something to delay his
lordship – unexpected business, bad roads, and so forth.

On the third day, Scully announced that she was taking a small
troop of men out to check for news, to contact the woodsmen and
see if there was any news.  Assuring me that she would be back
with good news before dark, she left the Castle and me in the
hands of Sergeant Pendrell.

I was good for nothing that day.  I attempted to concentrate on a
list of the work that needed to be done on the estate but, after
spoiling three quills and a parchment, gave it up.  Once again,
my appetite had deserted me and not even Maggie's threats could
keep anything down.  I avoided the library, unable to bear its
friendly warmth, and spent my time walking the battlements,
looking with anxious eyes for a sign of either Lord Walter or
Captain Scully on the horizon.

It was there that one of the pages found me just before sunset.
I had drifted into a half-sleep, unaware of anything around me,
and he had to call my name several times before I realized that
someone was there.  Then he handed me a note, saying that one of
the woodsmen had brought it.  Feverishly, I ripped it open.

F. - I know that you have no reason to like me and even less to
trust me, but you must listen for once.  You are in grave danger
and your protector in imminent peril of his life.  One of his
vassals has been suborned and will seek to kill him.  There is
also a soldier amongst the troops who has been instructed to kill
the Amazon and Lord Walter.  In either case, you will be
delivered to Spender, and you know what that will mean.  Be
careful, Fox, and trust no one.  A.

I stared at the note for a long moment, stunned, then my heart
began to pound.  Walter.  Unexpectedly late.  And now Scully, out
searching for news.  I looked up at the page, trying to control
the terror in my heart.

"Is the captain back yet?"

The boy shrugged.  "I don't know – I've been in the kitchens all
day.  I heard horses in the courtyard a little bit ago, though."

I hadn't heard anything, but then again, it was possible that I
had fallen asleep.  Thanking the page, I practically ran down the
steps and entered the manor house, running up to the second floor
and pounding on Scully's door.

There was no answer, so I hurried over to the armory, looking in
her office and all around the training rooms and the stables, but
there was no sight of her and the horse she had ridden wasn't
there.  I stood there for a long minute, chewing my lip.
Sergeant Pendrell would have to be told, shown the note so that
he could find the Captain and send her and the troops to rescue
Walter.  Momentarily, I wondered if I could trust the sergeant,
but he was distantly related to Maggie.  The problem was that he
was up in the barracks and I was forbidden to go there.

I hesitated for a moment.  But the words from the note were
racing through my head and an overwhelming sense of urgency
filled me.  I tucked the note into my pouch and hurried up the
stairs to the barracks. 

At the top of the stairs, I hesitated again and looked around.  I
stood on a small, dark landing.  Ahead of me was a narrow hallway
and, from the sounds of laughter coming from the end of it, I
assumed that the common room was at the end of it.  On either
side of the hallway was a doorway, probably the private rooms of
Lamana and the sergeants.  I knocked on the doors and then opened
them, but both rooms were empty.  I swallowed hard and decided
that I would have to go into the common room.  It wasn’t that I
was really worried that any of the soldiers would attempt
anything, despite William's warning, since I doubted that they
wanted to risk Lord Walter's anger.  But I had been hoping to
limit the number of people who knew about this little excursion
of mine and now there was no doubt that Lord Walter would find
out.

Thinking of him reminded me of the urgency of my mission, and I
started down the hall.  Suddenly, a hand grabbed me from behind
and pulled me backwards.  Startled, I opened my mouth to shout
only to be silenced by a rough hand across my mouth.  I found
myself being half-carried toward the landing, kicking and
struggling, and I bit the hand over my mouth.

"Shit!"

I found myself abruptly dropped onto the floor, the breath
knocked out of me.  Then I was hauled back up off the floor and
the backhanded blow I received made my eyes water and my ears
ring.

"Damn catamite!"  The man slammed me back into the wall, pinning
my body there, and I managed to focus my eyes long enough to
recognize my attacker.  Modell, one of the soldiers who was a
friend of Colton’s.  I had heard that low, ugly voice many a time
in the courtyard, had heard the mocking comments he and Colton
had made, and had so far managed to ignore them.

I was in serious trouble now.

Modell wasn't alone and Colton looked like he would pass out from
fear at any moment.  "Are you crazy?  He's Lord Walter's
plaything - he'll kill you for even looking at him much less
touching him."

"Oh, I plan to look, and touch, and do more than that."  Modell
leaned against me and his alcohol-saturated breath was foul.
"What do you say, pretty little Fox? The old man not got enough
to satisfy you so you came looking for a little fun?"

"No - looking for Sgt. Pendrell - let me go - "  Modell's hands
pinched and poked at me, and I swore and kicked and tried to get
free.

"Pendrell's gone into town looking for a bit of slap and tickle,
and the Captain's away so there's no one to rescue you, pretty
boy. We promise not to hurt you - much."

"I'm not having anything to do with this," Colton said quickly,
nervously. "Let him go before you get in serious trouble - "

"Too late."

I recognized that steel-laced voice and there was a whooshing
noise through the air as the tight arms suddenly released me.
There was a funny sound and something warm and liquid spattered
me but I was too busy falling to the floor and trying to crawl
away to care.  Soldiers piled into the hallway from the common
room, no doubt drawn by that unearthly screaming.  Over the
noise, I heard an icy voice giving orders.

"You two - take the body outside the gates and into the woods.
Strip it and leave it for the scavengers. You two -shut Colton
up, take him down to the whipping post and chain him up. At first
light, he'll receive forty lashes.  You - ride into town and find
Sergeant Pendrell. Tell him to button it up and get back here
within the hour or I'll relieve him of his balls. Consider this a
warning, men. The next one who lays a finger on Milord Fox will
be flayed alive. And as for you - "

A strong hand lifted me up off the floor by the back of my shirt
and dragged me downstairs to the armory. Then I was pushed me up
against the wall and I found myself staring into icy blue eyes.

"What were you doing up there? It was expressly forbidden and you
know it." She pushed upward and my feet left the ground. "If I
find that you're slipping around behind his lordship's back, I'll
kill you myself. I know a hundred places to hide a body where it
will never be found and I'll tell him you ran away."

"I wasn't," I gasped, and she eased her grip a little so that I
could breathe. "A message came for me -Lord Walter in danger.
Tried to find Pendrell - I swear -"

She shook me. "Where's the note?"

"My pouch." Captain Scully released me and ripped my pouch off my
belt, opening it and pulling out the folded paper inside. "Not
that one - " I began as she unfolded the note Lord Walter had
sent me at the end of the first week. She read it quickly,
glancing at me briefly, then folded it back up and put in back in
the pouch. She unfolded the other note, the one I had received
today, and read it.

"You're telling me the truth." I breathed a sigh of relief and
she handed me back my pouch. "You know that he's going to beat
you senseless over this."

"I know. I plan to tell him as soon as he gets back."  Fear
suddenly raced through me.  "If he gets back."

She squeezed my shoulder.  "We'll find him.  Now, take off your
shirt.  Wait - close your eyes first, pull it off and hand it to
me with your eyes closed." I did as she instructed and heard her
move away. She returned and I was startled to have an ice-cold
bucket of water dump over my head.

"What the hell - " I sputtered, and she thrust a towel into my
hands.

"You had Modell's blood and brains all over your hair and shirt."

My stomach lurched and I stumbled out the door to a darkened
corner of the courtyard, losing the contents of my stomach as it
heaved in rebellion. I felt a warm hand on the back of my neck
offering comfort and I accepted the towel again.

"Thanks," I said weakly, and leaned against the cool plaster
gratefully. "And thanks for rescuing me in there."

"You're welcome. Now let's get you cleaned up." She braced me
with one arm around my waist, guiding me across the courtyard.

From outside came a reply to the challenge of the night-guard,
then the postern door opened and Sergeant Pendrell raced in,
sliding off his horse before it had even stopped.

"What happened - " He halted, seeing me pale and shirtless and no
doubt still streaked with blood and the Captain grim-faced.

"My office. Five minutes."

I think that he went even paler than I was and he swallowed hard.
"Yes, Captain."

The Captain walked me all the way to the bathing chamber and sat
me down, removing my boots. "These will need to be cleaned -I'll
take them with me. Pendrell can do that as part of his penance.
Strip and give me the rest of your clothes -they'll have to be
burned." I obeyed, handing her the breeches, carefully not
thinking about the dark patches on them. "Into the water and
scrub well. I'll send Maggie in to check on you while I go talk
to Colton and find out what he knows."

"But Lord Walter - "

She turned back and gave me a curious look. "You love him, don't
you? You're carrying that note of his around in your pouch and it
looks like you've read it a hundred times."

I flushed and looked down. "Yes. I love him, and I swear I would
never do anything to hurt him. I'd die first."

"I know.  We'll find him," she said gently, "But we can't do
anything in the middle of the night.  At first light, we'll ride
out in search of him.  And Fox – I promise that we’ll find him." 
And then she was gone.

Walter

Stretching my feet towards the fire, I contemplated the
seriousness of my situation.  That I was in grave peril I had no
doubt, and it was all the more dangerous for the apparent
peacefulness of the setting.  It was likely that, unless I kept
my wits, I would be dead before morning.  Not for the first time
that day, I thanked the Gods that I had not brought Fox with me.

The fact that my host was not pleased that I had not brought Fox
with me was the first thing that had aroused my suspicions.
Arriving at the last holding on my circuit, we had been warmly
welcomed by my vassal, Louis de Cardinale, and I had been settled
in the man's own chambers even as he profusely apologized for the
irregularities in the keep's housekeeping. 

"My wife is away, attending the laying-in of our daughter -our
first grandchild," he had said in explanation.  I had
congratulated him on the event but the absence of the gentlewomen
of the keep was another suspicious item.  Together with my
vassal's inexplicable knowledge of my slave and the nervousness
he showed when learning that Fox wasn't with me, an ugly picture
of treachery began to form in my head.

I pulled Lamana aside before going in to dinner.  "Stay sharp," I
warned him.  "I sense treachery here."

He nodded and went off to quietly instruct his men while I
endured a protracted meal during which Cardinale attempted to
drink me under the table while the talk skirted along treasonous
issues, tempting me to speak a word against the King or the
Priests that could get me arrested.  He was unsuccessful in both
attempts.  I had long ago learned how to dodge political issues,
and I had developed a hard head for drinking.  Still, I was
taking no chances and I made it look like I was drinking more
than I actually was.  As the evening went on, I feigned an
increasing drunkenness, noting with grim amusement the predatory
gleam in Cardinale's eyes.  I excused myself finally, weaving a
little as I headed towards my chamber, and felt eyes on my back
as I walked.

Once safely in my chamber, I splashed cold water on my face to
shake off any lingering effects from the wine.  There was a soft
knock at the door and I quickly let Lamana in.

"You were right, my lord," he said without preamble.  "The
Captain broke out the ale and they brought in whores.  By
midnight, they'll expect our men to be out cold."

"And your men?"

He grinned.  "Lord, they should all take to the stage once their
soldiering days are done.  You've never seen such a bunch of
drunken louts in your life.  And Cardinale’s captain is acting so
smug - he'll never notice that the men are staggering out of the
barracks by ones and twos to take a piss.  Once we're all out,
I've instructed my sergeant to bar the doors and windows from the
outside.  Cardinale will get no help from that quarter."

"Well done," I said, clapping his shoulder with a feral grin of
my own.  "Now, back to your men - "

He shook his head.  "And leave you here alone with that
treacherous weasel?  I'm not facing Fox should you get even a
scratch - he'd cut off my balls and stuff them down my throat!"

I chuckled.  "What, afraid of a mere slave?  And an unarmed one
at that?"

"Yes," Lamana said fervently.  "That boy's protective where
you're concerned and I'd rather be dead than face his wrath."

"Very well.  But keep still until I give the signal or you'll
face my wrath."

I lay down on the bed, fully clothed and covered myself with the
blanket, feigning sleep.  Lamana settled in a darkened corner and
we watched.

It wasn't too long before I heard a faint noise coming from the
area where the concealed door lay.  I slitted my eyes and slid my
long knife from its sheath, waiting tensely as Cardinale silently
entered the room.  Quietly, he made his way over to the bed and
stood over it for a moment, then I saw the upward movement of his
arm and a bright gleam in the firelight.  In an instant, my own
knife was at his throat and Lamana moved in behind him to take
Cardinale’s knife.

"All right, Louis.  Whose orders are you following?" I asked
grimly.

"I - I don't know what you're talking about.  I was checking that
you were all right -"

"With a knife?  After entering through a secret door?"  I shook
my head.  "You've been caught in an attempt to murder your liege
lord, a crime of Treason, punishable by death.  Whether that
death is swift or painful is up to you."

His face paled but there was no groveling or pleading for mercy. 
Cardinale was no coward, even if he was a villain.

"My men will be here any moment -"

"Your men are locked into the barracks by my men," Lamana
growled.  "They won't lift a finger to save a traitorous dog like
you."

"I won't tell you anything," Cardinale snarled.  "Do what you
will to me."

"Believe me, I will.  But first, I think a night in your own
dungeon will make you think.  And not only of yourself - if you
die a traitor's death, your family will be forfeit as well."  I
could see his face blanch at that threat although, privately, I
determined that this man's children would not meet the same fate
as my Fox because of the weakness of their father.

Lamana and I escorted Cardinale out of the keep and across the
courtyard towards the dungeon entrance.  About a quarter of the
way across the open space, Cardinale decided to take his chances.
Breaking free from us, he ran towards the postern gate and
freedom.

He never made it.  From out of the darkness came a bright bolt of
wood and feathers, planting itself firmly in Cardinale's chest.
He was dead before his body hit the ground.

Any hope that the archer was one of ours was short-lived.
Another arrow missed me by inches while a third struck Lamana in
the thigh.  I threw an arm around him and dragged him to cover in
a shadowed archway.

Lamana winced as I took a moment to probe his wound, and I was
relieved to see that the arrow had missed the main blood vessels,
striking the fleshy part instead.  Painful, but at least he
wouldn't bleed to death before my eyes.

"One of his men must have escaped," Lamana panted.

I shook my head.  "I doubt that Cardinale has the resources to
hire a Welsh bowman.  No doubt in the pay of their employer with
instructions to leave no loose ends."

"So - what are our chances?"

"Pinned here with an unknown and undoubtedly professional
assassin perched up somewhere in an unfamiliar castle, and one of
us wounded?"  I smiled grimly.  "Not good.  Not good at all."

End of Part 4