Dangerous Undercurrents 4 Title: Dangerous Undercurrents Author: Chad Moore Email: Chad_Skywalker@webtv.net Feedback: Please Status: New/WIP Archive: Yes, please tell me where Pairing: M/O Fandom: The X-Files Rating: NC-17 (finally!) Explicit Spoilers: None, this is pre-XF Huge Beta Thanks: Bertina Disclaimer: Fox Mulder belongs to Chris Carter and 1013. Author's Note: This chapter was inspired by the Sydney Forest ballad, "Once In A Blue Moon". Schmoop alert. Chapter Four: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered by Chad Moore Mulder pulled back from Jamie with a surprised gasp. The persistent knocking had interrupted the moment. They stood frozen, taking in lungfuls of air. They simpy stared at each other, neither making any move. Another round of knuckles on wood caused Mulder to snap out of the spell. Jamie struggled to catch his breath as Mulder cracked open the door. "Mulder!" Phoebe squeaked from the other side. Jamie visibly cringed. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard. "Phoebe, what are you doing here?" asked Mulder, not allowing her to see inside the room. "Well goofy, we had a date tonight -- remember?" Mulder ran a hand through his sweaty hair, his fingers trembling. "Oh, uh, I, um..." He held up one long index finger. "Just a minute!" Closing the door on her surprised face, he rushed past Jamie taking care not to brush against him. He thought he would lose his strength at any moment and take Jamie back into his arms. He held onto the sides of a dresser for support. "Mulder, what's wrong?" Jamie asked, really wanting to understand. Before him, Mulder jerked a drawer open and quickly slid into a pair of jeans. Moving toward him, Jamie reached out a hand... but Mulder took a step back, very nearly falling over. "Nothing's wrong," he replied unconvincingly. Picking up his coat, he headed for the door. Jamie's eyes began to fill with tears. "You're acting like you're afraid of me." Mulder's resolve snapping, he turned on his heel to face him. "Hell yes, I'm scared of you! I don't know what I'm doing any more." A stab of anger, rejection, loss... Jamie marched right up to him. "There's a reason for it! Right here in this room we kissed. You've made me feel things I've never felt before." Mulder backed up against the door, his heart pounding in his ears. "My life feels like it's been turned upside down ever since I met you," he shook his head, "I just can't handle it." "Then I feel sorry for you," Jamie whispered. "Because you can't see love when it's staring you in the face." Mulder looked up with a flicker of anger. "What does that mean?" Before he could react, Jamie strode purposefully toward him, took his head into his hands and kissed him lightly on the lips. "That," he answered, raising an eyebrow. Could the force of his love will him to stay? Instead, Mulder slowly turned the doorknob and backed his way out of the room. He looked one last time at Jamie -- his statement unreadable -- before closing the door. Jamie sat down heavily on the bed. Covering his face with his hands, he finally allowed the tears to flow... ~oo0oo~ RUMOURS sported a full house as usual by the time Mulder and Phoebe entered the club. On the way over, Phoebe held his arm in a vice-like grip suggesting that they should go back to her flat later. Mulder hadn't heard a word she'd said. He kept looking over his shoulder, certain that Jamie would follow, but he never appeared. At their usual table, Alison rolled her eyes at the sight of Phoebe escorting Mulder within. "Look what the cat dragged in," she remarked. Carolyn peered across the room. "Oh, I wonder why Jamie's not with him." "Look who he's with," Alison said pointedly. With a deep sigh, Carolyn put on her best smile and bounded over to the pair. "I thought you were spending the evening studying," she told Mulder, who's mind seemed to be in orbit. "Oh, Mulder needs some time to relax," Phoebe winked. She dragged him by the arm toward the bar. Carolyn hurried to keep pace. "Where's Jamie?" she wondered. Mulder flinched and shot his eyes toward the entrance. "Where?" "What?" Carolyn frowned. "I asked where Jamie was?" He heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, he's back at the Halls." Carolyn noticed the feverish look in his eyes. She signalled at Alison who quickly took the hint. Standing, she walked over to join them. "Phoebe!" she cried. "What did you think of the lecture this morning?" Taking her by the arm, Alison pried her loose and moved her away from Mulder. Grabbing his elbow, Carolyn manouevered Mulder through the crowd to a quiet corner. Or as quiet as she could find with the thumping bass of a Yazz song in the background. Twisting him around, she gave Mulder a knowing stare. "Alright, spill it! What happened?" Mulder shrugged nervously. "Why should anything have happened?" "Don't give me that!" she chided. "You jumped out of your skin the moment I mentioned Jamie. You two didn't have a fight, did you?" "Carolyn, he's driving me crazy!" he exclaimed, then lowered his voice. "I'm so dizzy I can't think straight any more. I've told him things I've never told any one... My stomach's all knotted up... I can't stop thinking about him... I feel like... I feel like..." He threw his hands up. "Oh, I don't know!" Holding a hand to her mouth, Carolyn stifled her laughter. "What's so funny?" he accused. "You! Foxy, you're busted! Admit it, you're in love!" she beamed. "Oh, God," Mulder sighed, pacing around her like a caged tiger. He stared up at the ceiling. "This wasn't supposed to happen." "Why not?" He couldn't bring himself to give her his reasons. Instead, he gave her a sudden, urgent look. "Look, this stays between us, alright?" "Of course! But I hope you realize that someone like Jamie only comes along once in a blue moon." ~oo0oo~ Jamie walked along the university's lamplit sidewalks, clutching the Saint Christopher his mother had given him for luck, trying to understand what happened. He'd fallen for Fox Mulder, and he'd fallen hard. The kiss had been incredible, exhilirating. His lips still tingled from contact with Mulder's. Why did he scare Mulder so? How could he show him just how much he truly loved him? In the middle of his thoughts, Jamie leapt back with a cry as a figure rounded the corner. "Jamie?" Sebastian called. "Sebastian!" he exclaimed. "You scared the life out of me." "I'm sorry," he said, moving into the light. "What are you doing out this late?" "I could ask you the same question," Jamie replied casually. Sebastian grinned and stuck his hands in his pockets. "Insomnia, it's plagued me for as long as I can remember. Don't tell me you've got it too?" Jamie shook his head. "No, I just needed some fresh air to clear my mind." Beneath the lamp post, Sebastian could see that Jamie's eyes were red from crying. "Can I join you?" He nodded. "Sure." As they moved along, Sebastian turned to him. "So, do you want to tell me who broke your heart?" Jamie looked at him, surprised. "What? But, how..." "Hmm... let's see, you can't sleep, you've been crying and you're wandering around outside in your pyjamas." Staring down at his clothes, Jamie blushed. "Oh, I'm really gone aren't I?" Sebastian laughed and patted him on the back. "Do you want to talk? It might make you feel better." "I fell in love with someone and I'm not sure how he feels," Jamie explained. "He?" "Oh gosh! I didn't mean to..." "Jamie, don't worry. I'm in the theatre remember?" "Okay, thanks." "Have you asked this guy how he feels?" "We kissed tonight and it was the most amazing kiss in the world." He stared off dreamily. "And?" Sebastian prompted. "He walked out on me. I didn't want him to, I wanted him to stay." "Hey, just give it some time. I've learned that anything is possible." He nudged his shoulder. "Now, don't you feel better?" "A little," Jamie sniffed. "I just don't think I can face that empty room." "No problem, you can stay at my place." Jamie paused. "I couldn't." "Yes, you can. Besides, you shouldn't be alone tonight. I've got a garage apartment in town. I'll walk you back, you can pick up some clothes and have a good rest." ~oo0oo~ Unlocking the door, Mulder quietly pushed it open and tiptoed into the darkness. He'd spent a good three hours at the nightclub, but couldn't bring himself to have a good time. Phoebe, however, had whooped it up and he managed to slip away from her. She'd be livid of course, but that was that. Moving silently through the room, his eyes followed a shaft of light from outside which illuminated the bed. The spread was flat as a vowel sound. Hurrying over to the desk, he flicked on the lamp. The room was empty. A pang of sadness and worry. Where was Jamie? "You idiot!" he berated himself. ~oo0oo~ Having shoved a change of clothes into the student union shopping bag, Jamie followed Sebastian inside his little apartment. They'd taken a taxi from the university even though it was only a few blocks away. The room was small, but filled with furnishings. Bookcases lined the living room, with a large glass coffee table, black leather sofa and a 13" TV in a corner. Sebastian switched on an overhead light and took the bag from Jamie's hand. "Your hands are like ice!" he observed. "Have a seat on the sofa and I'll fix you a drink." Jamie simply nodded numbly. He didn't feel like sitting, his mind too occupied by the night's events. Wandering through the room, he paused in front of the larger bookcases where a spider plant hung over the sides, its fronds low. His eyes alighted on the spines of several fascinating titles: Druidism, Celtic Myths and Legends, Mysticism and the Evolution of Man. Sliding one of the tomes from its place, Jamie's eyes widened at the large pentagram inscribed across the front. "Here you are," Sebastian said, walking in from the kitchen with a mug. Slightly startled, Jamie put the book back. "Thanks," he said, taking the proffered drink. "You have a lot of interesting hobbies." Sebastian eyed Jamie warily. "Well, when you've lived here as long as my family has, you're bound to become entangled in the local legends." Nodding absently, Jamie walked over to the sofa and shivered. "I can turn up the heat if you like," Sebastian offered. "It's ok," he replied. "You're still thinking about him, aren't you?" "I wish I knew what to do," he sighed. "I tried showing him how much I love him and it turned into a disaster." Bringing him a thick blanket, Sebastian laid it across a sofa arm. "A good night's sleep is all you need, Jamie." He smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Sebastian." Returning the smile, Sebastian left the room turning the light off behind him. Wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, Jamie sat back and looked out of a window onto the empty street. 'Will I ever see him again?' he wondered, sadly. He'd never felt anything more wonderful than being held in Mulder's arms. Pressing his hand against the cold glass, Jamie's heart waited for an answer. ~oo0oo~ Bleary eyed, Mulder tossed restlessly on his sofa bed. Worry had set in and he was so angry at himself for walking out on Jamie. Moonlight illuminated the room, throwing empty shadows across Jamie's bed. That moment with Jamie had left him hungry, starving to be with him. And that's what scared him the most. No, it wasn't making love to another man... it was the prospect of actually falling in love. All of his life, ever since Samantha disappeared, he'd been afraid to love any one. Every one he loved seemed to leave him. That's why he made it a policy to never get emotionally involved. One night stands and quickies had gotten him through... Just a good fuck to tide him over... Nothing complicated... Until now. Kissing Jamie was like a taste of heaven. He didn't give a damn what anyone thought, but he couldn't risk losing Jamie. Why did this have to happen? ~oo0oo~ Yawning from lack of sleep, Mulder scratched the back of his neck as he entered Bodieian Library. He only half remembered that he needed a book for a research project that morning. Jamie had not turned up and Mulder tried leaving him a note, but he couldn't find the words. On his way across campus, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a guy with blond hair. Turning quickly, Mulder exhaled. It wasn't Jamie. He turned back, almost slamming right into an opening door. Leaping back just in time, he was surprised to find Ryan on the other side. "Man, are you alright?" he asked. "Sure, I usually go for a good door in the face this time of morning," Mulder replied sarcastically. "Didn't you sleep last night?" Ryan observed. "No, not much." Ryan walked outside carrying a stack of books. "You'd better hide from Phebes. She went ballistic when you took off." Ignoring his statement, Mulder nodded into the distance. "Ever had the feeling you're being haunted?" He shrugged. "There 'ya go again obsessing about ghosts. Something must've really riled you up." Ryan moved on down the sidewalk. "See 'ya in class." Pondering over this, Mulder entered the library, taking care when opening the doors. First picking up a cup of coffee from the tiny shop next door, he walked up and down the aisles searching for a book. He suddenly froze, sensing a familiar presence nearby. He didn't even have to look up to know who'd entered the room. Standing still by the doors, Jamie's piercing eyes fixed on Mulder. They stared across at one another, oblivious to the world around them. Mulder looked just as handsome as ever. On the other side of the room, Mulder's pulse jumped. Then, as if drawn by a magnet, they slowly moved toward each other. "Hi," Jamie said. "How are you?" asked Mulder. "Could be better," he replied. "Shh!" A sharp hiss from the librarian didn't register between the pair. "Did you get home alright?" Jamie continued. "Yeah, I was worried about you," Mulder admitted, trying to control the fear... that fear of rushing forward and taking him into his arms. "Are you coming back?" he wondered. "I don't know," he said sadly. "Shh!" the librarian warned again. Jamie pulled his hair nervously behind his ears. "Mulder," he began softly, "you've changed my life. I came from a boring little town to Oxford where I meet the most amazing man. We were brought together for a reason, and all I know is that I want you." Mulder stared at him in disbelief. Never had another person confessed so much... and it scared him to death. For Jamie, the silence spoke volumes. Walking past him, his heart fell when Mulder actually stepped back a few paces. Jamie turned and said, "I'm just here for a book. I'll be gone in a minute." Mulder sighed. "You don't have to stay away, Jamie. Nothing's going to happen to change our friendship." Jamie stared directly into his eyes, the hurt glistening. "No, nothing's going to happen," he repeated, emphasizing the words. "Shh!!" the librarian admonished them, standing up. Both Mulder and Jamie turned and whispered "Shh!" back to her at the same time. Then, they went their separate ways. ~oo0oo~ The late evening brought Mulder to his philosophy class. Thanks to Carolyn's notes, he was up to speed but that didn't save him from one of Professor Barrett's patented glares for missing psychology class. Mulder began to feel very drowsy by the time a lecture ensued about the teachings of a philosopher. He blinked to wake himself up and found a folded sheet of paper sliding across his desk. He looked along the row to see Carolyn giving him a small wave. Opening it, he found a note and a photograph of him and Jamie taken the other day. He read silently: Alison just got the prints back. Thought you and Jamie would like this one. Carolyn :) Mulder returned Carolyn's wave, then looked down at the picture. Alison had snapped the image the moment he'd snuck up behind Jamie and tickled him. Because of this, it looked like his arms were around his waist, with Jamie's head against his shoulder laughing. His thoughts wandered to the first day they'd met, when he'd barelled straight into Jamie. The way Jamie's eyes lit up and smiled; taking him through town, the wonder written on his face; the night they'd taken in the stars; the basketball game; the kiss... A warm, dreamlike feeling filled Mulder's body. "Mr. Mulder?" a voice called. Shocked awake from his musings, Mulder's heart beat frantically, but it wasn't from the shock. It was from something else entirely. His entire being tingled. He looked up to find Doctor Aldred staring down at him, glasses resting on the bridge of her nose, one hand on her hip. "Would you like to explain to the class exactly what the proverb means?" she asked haughtily. Mulder didn't notice the amused grins from his classmates, instead a new determination set in. With one breath he answered, "Great love and great achievements involve great risk." Doctor Aldred stood speechless. With an exhilirated smile, Mulder jumped from his seat and raced out of the door. ~oo0oo~ Mulder skidded to a halt before crashing headlong into the side of the theatre building. If Jamie would be anywhere, it had to be here. He didn't know what he was diving into, but Fox Mulder had let go of everything -- desperate to find the person he was falling even more in love with. Pushing through the double doors, he searched the halls. The lobby had just been cleaned and an antiseptic smell lingered heavily in the air. He stopped to peer through the windows of a door. Beyond was the actual theatre, filled with darkness. ~oo0oo~ Racing across the university, Mulder searched the college grounds surrounding the theatre. His mind was in a positive whirl. Passing Exeter College, Mulder made a dash through the botanic garden. The night lamps flickered on and Mulder stopped to get his bearings. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked left to right then headed off again. A moment later, Jamie appeared down a flight of stone steps carrying a satchel over his shoulder. Pausing for a moment, he looked around and saw only couples strolling by. With a curious frown, he hoisted the satchel and carried on through the garden. ~oo0oo~ Running inside the flat, Mulder stared at the empty room feeling defeated. This was the last place he knew to look -- and after their confrontation this morning --the last place in the world Jamie would be. Throwing his keys down, Mulder sat down heavily on the sofa. Where could he go from here? Had his fears cost him Jamie forever? Leaning his head on the window sill, he stared out into the night. He'd looked everywhere, even the museum, because Jamie once commented that he loved dinosaurs. For the first time in a long time Mulder felt hot tears on his cheeks. He was about to turn away when a small figure walking on the pavement three stories below made his heart jump. He pounded on the glass furiously. "Jamie!" he yelled. But Jamie couldn't hear him. Throwing the window open, Mulder leaned out and called again, "Jamie!" Looking up, he saw Mulder waving and gesturing for his attention. A wave of joy crashed into Jamie. With a huge grin, he held onto the satchel and raced inside the Halls. Quickly wiping his face, Mulder smoothed his hair and straighted out his rumpled clothing. Licking his lips, he stood poised before the door. In a few moments it thundered open and Jamie fell into his waiting arms. Mulder pressed his forehead close to Jamie's, holding him tightly. "Jamie, forgive me," he whispered breathlessly. He looked deep into his eyes, pushing back the hair framing his handsome face. "I know it sounds silly, but it scared me to find the real thing." Jamie held his head in his hands. "I couldn't leave," he told him. "The more I thought about you... about us... I just felt like I was drowning. I finally let myself go," Mulder admitted, his own eyes glistening. He pressed his lips against Jamie's forehead, then gently caressed his face, kissing him lightly at first. Jamie slid his tongue over Mulder's bottom lip. Mulder kissed him with full, deep passion. "I love kissing you," Mulder said, his voice throaty, after pulling away to catch his breath. Jamie stared up at him. "Good, because I love you," he said, a tear rolling down his cheek. Mulder pulled him in close, kissing away his tears. "There's something waiting for you," he whispered into his ear. Jamie's eyes widened and his heart skipped as he felt Mulder's hardness pressing into him. "Well, the wait was worth it," he laughed. "Oh yeah," Mulder agreed. Closing the door, he spun Jamie around and planted his lips onto his eager mouth. Holding Mulder for support, Jamie felt his knees buckle from the warm scent radiating between them. It was electric to kiss Mulder again, to have his full pouty lips against his. Mulder broke the kiss to trail his tongue down Jamie's neck. "I've been in love with you since the first day we met," he told him huskily. His mouth covered the sensitive skin, sucking gently on a throbbing vein. Jamie moaned, running his fingers inside of Mulder's shirt, he quickly had it up and over his head. Returning his attention to Jamie's neck, Mulder licked greedily, savouring the taste of his skin. He felt a new, hot sensation as Jamie's hands found his chest, exploring and feeling every inch. His fingers playfully running through the small, dark patch of hair between his pecs. Kneading the skin, he slowly tweaked Mulder's brown nipples. Feeling them stiffen between his fingers, Jamie's mouth watered. Kneeling, Jamie took one between his lips -- swirling it around with his tongue. Mulder growled a little moan, holding Jamie's head close. Biting delicately, Jamie switched to the other, sucking softly with his hot mouth. Mulder's cock stretched against the confines of his pants, pressing into Jamie. Breaking into a smile, Jamie felt as if he were in the middle of a dream. Jamie stood shakily and their wet mouths met again. Mulder opened his lips a fraction, allowing Jamie's tongue to caress him. Sliding his hand down the length of Jamie's body, it came to rest on his crotch. Mulder's breathing increased, feeling the same hardness straining to be released. He felt around to his firm buttocks, pushing their bulges close. Mulder's head reeled, that hot mouth was driving him wild. Resting his hands on Jamie's shoulders, Mulder gently started pushing him down. Obliging, Jamie kissed his chest, running the tip of his tongue along, sending delicious jolts of energy through Mulder's body. His face pressed close against the rock hard crotch of Mulder's pants. He moaned with excitement, finding the zipper and pulling down the tight jeans. Mulder gasped as his cock throbbed and strained in his boxer shorts. With one swift movement Jamie had completely removed his pants. Jamie pressed his lips against Mulder's crotch, mouthing his dick through the underwear. His tongue ran along the length, hungrily devouring the spreading wetness. Mulder felt a shiver run up his spine and his skin broke out in goose bumps. Unable to resist any longer, Jamie gripped the waistband and slowly pulled. Mulder swallowed hard as his cock was released, long and hard. Jamie's eyes lit up and he dived down, stroking the entire length with his tongue. Mulder's slick shaft twitched and Jamie quickly caught the drop of precome. His tongue swirled around the head, then travelled back down. Mulder felt his legs weaken and he groaned from the waves of pure pleasure. A crazed gleam in his eye, Mulder took Jamie's face and pushed his mouth closer. Mulder's cock slid between Jamie's lips and down his silky throat. His own mouth dropped open as Jamie deep throated him. Mulder thought he would come at any moment, the way Jamie's tongue enveloped his shaft, making love to it like never before. He cried out when the large head found the back of his lover's mouth, Jamie's throat flexing to milk him of his sweet juices. Jamie's hands ran up and along Mulder's chest, finding their way to his back and down to his cheeks. Grabbing them firmly, Jamie pulled him forward, forcing Mulder's cock even further inside. Mulder struggled to catch his breath, feeling a hot boiling pleasure surging into the head. "Not yet," he breathed. Teasingly, he pulled Jamie away. Mulder saw his eyes feverish for more. Pulling Jamie to his feet, he gently slid him down onto the bed. Mulder helped him to strip, pressing his mouth against Jamie's tantalyzing abs. Frantically, he removed the pants and he marvelled at the sight of Jamie's beautiful penis. He broke into a grin, it was long, full and dripping. Lying on top, Mulder firmly pressed his mouth against Jamie's, at the same time, grinding their cocks together. Feeling Jamie pawing at him made Mulder want to come on the spot. Quickly, he sat back on his haunches. Taking Jamie's legs, he turned him over onto his stomach. Mulder's hardness throbbed at the sight of Jamie's perfectly rounded ass. He immediately ground his dick along the crack, the smooth skin electrifying every inch. Mulder pulled Jamie's face back and their tongues met. He trailed it down, running down Jamie's back, causing him to moan and arch like a cat. His tongue caressed the shoulder blades, finding a small birthmark in the center. Moving along, Mulder slowly opened Jamie's cheeks finding a tight, pink hole waiting for him. Mulder pressed his face against Jamie's ass, his tongue stroking and coating the hole. Suddenly, the tip of his tongue entered the puckered hole and Jamie groaned. Holding the sheets in his fists, Jamie lifted his butt up, helping Mulder's tongue slip further inside. Mulder couldn't believe how good he tasted. Mulder pulled back, looking down at the spasming hole. Pushing in a finger, he gently rolled it around inside to loosen the other man up. Jamie's sweat covered forehead pressed against a pillow. "Please, Mulder, please," he moaned. Mulder stared lustily down, his cock looked bigger as it twitched spasmodically, hungry for Jamie. It was well lubed from a combination of precome and Jamie's mouth. Jamie shuddered when Mulder turned him over onto his back and placed his legs over his shoulders. Mulder's eyes sparkled with lust. Guiding his cock, he pressed it against Jamie's tightening hole and slowly entered him. Jamie threw his head back and screamed with delight. His ass sucked in Mulder's shaft and Mulder gasped at the mind blowing feeling. They fitted together naturally. Jamie reached around and gripped Mulder's butt, pulling him in closer. His body craved this incredible man like a drug. Mulder started pumping faster, building up a steady rhythm. A drop of sweat fell from his nose onto Jamie's face. Leaning forward, he pressed their bodies into one. Jamie's mouth dropped open into a silent O. Mulder leaned in and kissed him, their tongues entwining. Mulder's cock swelled inside of him, and Jamie howled as it found the ultimate pleasure point. Despite his willpower, Mulder could not hold back any more. Gripping Jamie's cock in his fist, he began to pump it. Jamie let out a cry of pure ecstasy as his shaft flexed sending hot waves shooting up onto Mulder's chest. As Jamie's muscles flexed around his cock, it sent Mulder over the edge. He grunted and screamed a cry of unbelievable pleasure, filling Jamie with enormous hot blasts. Exhausted, he collapsed on top of the other man. They hugged each other, moaning from the sheer joy of love making. Sticky and wet with sweat and come, they held onto one another, taking in great lungfuls of air. Without a word, Mulder gave Jamie a wolfish smile. Reaching between his legs, Mulder slipped his hand around Jamie's cock. A burst of pleasure urged through his body from the touch of Mulder's hand. Fox Mulder and Jamie Grayson found each other in pure bliss. As the room filled with the sounds of intoxicated kissing, the stars outside twinkled brightly. [Next Episode: The Stuff Dreams Are Made On]