Title: Conundrum Author: Chad Moore E-mail: Chad_Skywalker@webtv.net Feedback: Always welcome! Date: July 2nd, 2001 Archive: Yes. Series/Sequel: This story is a sequel to "Dangerous Undercurrents." Status: WIP Category: M/O Rating: PG13 Fandom: XF Spoilers: This adventure takes place after the TV story, "Existence." Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to CC and 1013; any others were conceived in my warped imagination. Azathoth, the Great Old Ones, and the Necronomicon are creations of HP Lovecraft, and are now the property of Arkham House. Author's Note: Special thanks to my amazing beta, Bertina. Chapter Four: Memory Lane "Another death?" I asked, trying to conceal the glee in my voice. "Yes, sir," Gordon Stratton confirms. "The Shoggoth left behind in the catacombs has been awakened. We paid Dr. Langford well to keep us informed of anyone prying into the Oxford incident." I steeple my fingers and stare across at him. "Hmm. Very wise. Although it concerns me that our agent did not inform us of this." Gordon nods. "Perhaps he had no knowledge of the inquries, or--" "Yes," I prompt him. "Forgive my impertinence, lord, but I do not trust him. It was not wise to bring a stranger into our midst." I've known of Gordon's jealousy for some time. True, he had his own doubts but the proof first brought to them was more than enough. "Do not question my decisions," I tell him. "If we do not hear from him soon, we will take matters into our own hands. Now, tell me just who was digging into the past?" "Inspector Phoebe Green of Scotland Yard, Carolyn Fredericks née Prentice, and Fox Mulder." I sit up sharply in my high backed leather chair. "Fox Mulder? Interesting. Our agent assured us that he would not be causing any problems." I notice the look in Gordon's eye. Further proof of disloyalty? "What did they find?" I ask, sharply. "As far as we know, absolutely nothing. Mulder returned to the States and Inspector Green met an untimely fate." Pushing back from my desk, I stand before Brother Stratton who duly kneels. I could care less about the inspector. My interests lie with the elusive Fox Mulder. "So, Mulder is beginning to ask questions." I turn to Gordon. "To be on the safe side, send someone to keep an eye on him." "Yes, my lord." After Gordon bows once more and leaves my office, I return to the image radiating from the monitor screen of my computer. Yes, if the promises of my agent fail, then there is another hope. Fox Mulder may lead me to the Deliverer after all... ~oo0oo~ Dana Scully was worried, seriously worried. It was over a week now since she received the call that Mulder had been hospitalized. After arriving back from his trip to Oxford he'd been found in the airport terminal completely unresponsive. Her number was the first found and, leaving William with her mother, she'd raced to the hospital. He lay in a starched white bed, looking as if he'd been crying non stop. His eyes were haunted by hope drained away. She'd had to use her clout to keep Doctor Wright from admitting Mulder to the psychiatric ward. "Mulder," she said, softly. "It's me, Dana." He didn't even blink. Scully felt her heart drop. In his own time, he managed to relate bits of what happened. She caught herself gasping aloud. She should have taken his dreams more seriously. Mulder shut his eyes and began to cry softly, frightened by his own doubt. Talking with Dr. Wright, she managed to have Mulder released into her care. Half heartedly she convinced him that Mulder was only suffering from depression; half heartedly because she failed to convince herself. He was back home now, and Dana kept a constant watch over him: stopping in for impromptu visits, and calling regularly. Yes, her maternal instincts were in full force with William in her life, and yes, she might be overprotective of Mulder. Another blow occurred when she intercepted a frantic telephone call from the UK. Inspector Phoebe Green's body had been discovered, killed under circumstances that would end up in an X-File. Using her better judgement, Dana decided to keep this from him for the time being. And so the week had passed. Mulder's usual dry humor had returned, but there will also hints of darkness and despair. He insisted that he was fine, over and over again. From everything she'd been told, everything she'd observed, Dana didn't think so. She was so concerned about him that she called Walter Skinner to ask for help. "If you could try to talk to him," she told him over the phone, "I'd appreciate it." Walter listened with growing concern while she gave him sketchy details behind Mulder's breakdown. Apparently, he had been experiencing nightmarish visions that nearly pushed him over the brink. He thanked Dana for letting him know about Mulder's 'collapse', although -- truth be told -- he was put out that she hadn't informed him the moment it happened. He'd been thinking more and more of the former agent lately. He felt overly protective, something which went beyond the call of duty. Ironically, Walter had tried to contact Mulder several times to let him know of something he'd discovered. Now, it gave him the opportunity to check on him. Here he was standing in the hallway outside of apartment 42. Hefting a large package, Walter took a deep breath and rapped on the door. "Hello, sir," Mulder said, surprised. He'd been expecting Scully for one of her "unexpected" drop ins. He was standing in the open doorway, wearing a white undershirt and blue sweatpants. His hair stood up, and it appeared as if he hadn't shaved in days. "May I come in?" Walter asked, after the shock of Mulder's appearance wore off. "Um, sure," he replied, holding the door open. Walter walked in, and Mulder failed to notice the large brown parcel resting under a brawny arm. "And what's with this 'sir' business?" asked Walter. "It's Walter." Mulder plopped down on the sofa as if he didn't have an ounce of energy. He propped up a leg and Walter could tell the former agent was not wearing underwear beneath the sweats from the suspicious outline jutting to the side. Walter made a soft grunting sound, and swallowed, in an attempt to avert his eyes. "I really don't feel like being cheered up," he said. "Dana told me what happened," Skinner replied, grateful for the change in subject. "I'm sorry." "Seems like everything's biting me in the ass these days." Walter had been through and seen a lot knowing Fox Mulder. But he'd never seen him quite so withdrawn, as if he'd completely given up. "Would you like to talk about it?" he offered. Mulder snorted. "Talk about what? How I've completely lost my mind? How the hospital was on the verge of having me committed? How I've started seeing ghosts?" Pressing his lips tight, Walter leaned forward. "Scully told me a little." "Oh, yeah," Mulder harrumphed. "The late lamented rat bastard has been haunting me." Mulder's voice broke off. No matter how depressed he felt, he recognized the hurt in Skinner's eyes. The death of Alex Krycek still a very sore subject. "Come on, Mulder. I'm not going to judge you or make assumptions. I just want to help." At this Mulder smiled, then choked on a deep throated sob. In that instant, the words, the pent up emotions came pouring out. He couldn't stop himself, the dam bursting into a thousand pieces. "My first year at university I fell in love," Mulder began. "His name was Jamie." Walter fixed his gaze on Mulder, his suspicions confirmed. Mulder continued, not waiting for Skinner's reaction. "It was the first time I was genuinely happy. Our time together was cut short. He died. And I've never been able to remember what happened." He couldn't believe he was confessing this to a man like Walter Skinner. Hot tears flowed freely, and Walter found his strong arms wrapped around the man he'd admired from afar for so long. "Mulder, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry that this happened to you." This was quite different from Scully's sanitized version. Breaking contact, Mulder sat back and rubbed at his eyes. "Open your heart to someone and they leave you," he said in a hushed voice. "It's been easier not to let anyone in." Walter felt helpless, wishing he could something to make him feel better. Mulder stood and gazed out the window. "When I saw that featureless corridor stretching ahead of me it all hit me." "What did?" He turned and looked at him. "My search, my quest. Like looking for the end of the rainbow. I realized I'll never find it." "Jamie must've been someone very special." Indeed, magical even to cast such a spell over Fox Mulder. "He was," Mulder replied, his eyes glistening. "I've never known anyone quite like him." He smiled a little. "Ever heard of being swept off your feet?" Walter nodded. "Well, that's what it was like with Jamie," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "The first time he was in my arms, the world fell away. I remember that better than anything." A moment of understanding passed between them. Walter coughed lightly and broke the awkward silence. "Well, the second reason for my visit is this..." he said, indicating the package resting on Mulder's coffee table. "What is it?" Mulder wondered. He hadn't ordered anything. "It was sent to the Hoover building about a year ago," Walter told him. "You were... missing... and it sat buried in the mail room for months. One of the clerks brought it to me a couple of weeks ago." Half interested, Mulder read the hastily scribbled writing across the brown paper. He arched an eyebrow. "No return address?" Walter pushed the parcel forward. "The postmark says 'Oxford'." Mulder's eyes went wild. He started tearing at the packaging in a frenzy. Walter stood up, startled by the sudden animation. Throwing the discarded wrapping aside, Mulder found a cardboard box beneath and dug his fingers into the sides. "Here, let me help," offered Walter. Sitting beside him, Walter took out a pocketknife and sliced the lid open. Mulder pulled back the sides and peered inside. He gasped in astonishment. With shaking hands, he extracted an intricately carved mahogany box. "What the hell is that?" asked Walter. It looked like a witch's jewlery box. What was Mulder getting himself into now? "Look, there's something else in here." Reaching inside, he lifted out an ancient book inscribed with the same snake symbol that decorated the box. "I-I... know this," Mulder whispered hoarsely. Suddenly, he cried out and the box fell onto the carpet. He clutched at his head, a blinding ache building up behind his eyes. "Mulder? Mulder!" Walter yelled, desperately. Mulder drew in his breath sharply, pulled deep down into an invisible vortex of undercurrents. His eyes stared wild as a series of visions flashed before him erratically... He sat beneath a sea of stars with a handsome young man with blonde hair and green eyes at his side. 'You have to trust someone,' the boy said. 'Jamie!' He saw himself running across a lush, green campus. 'He is the Chosen One!' Professor Wickham pointed a finger, accusingly. A tall, hooded figure plunging a curved knife into Jamie's stomach. Jamie's hands covered in blood. He and Jamie, smiling coyishly at one another. 'Well, Just Mulder, I'm James Grayson. Jamie to my friends.' 'It's Jamie, then,' he replied. Jamie's face slowly turned to him, warmth radiating from his sparkling emerald eyes. 'I'll always love you,' he whispered. Mulder reached out to touch him, and the images dissolved into a flash of brilliant white light. He sat up, gulping in air. Walter was kneeling by his side. "I remember... I remember everything!" Mulder proclaimed. A rush of emotions filled every fiber of his being. The memories were inside of him once more, restored. Memories he had repressed of his last days with Jamie were free at last. For the first time in years, he felt complete. Walter helped Mulder up from the floor. He'd been on the brink of dialing 911. "Mulder, are you all right?" But Mulder ignored his question. "Why on earth did they drag me out of that catacomb?! I was trying to save Jamie!" "What?" Walter searched his face. "Mulder, I don't understand." Mulder gripped his arms. "There was a cult. They'd chosen Jamie as their sacrifice. Jamie was stabbed..." Walter visibly winced from the hurt in Mulder's voice. "A sacrifice?" "A cave in! The caves were collapsing." His voice became more frantic as the memories returned. "Jamie wasn't dead... I was trying to get to him, but the professor and Inspector Winston pulled me away." Mulder stood up and began pacing the length of his apartment, sweat glistening on his brow. Walter watched him, trying to work out what was going on. "Mulder, I really think you should sit down and take it easy," Walter suggested, gently leading him by the shoulders back toward the couch. Mulder started to sit, but jumped back to his feet. "Sit down? Sit down! Don't you understand what's going on?" "No," he said. "I'm with you but you're going too fast for me, and I don't think you should be getting this worked up or you'll be back in the hospital." Tapping his bottom lip, Mulder stared out of his window and started talking to himself in a hushed voice. "Wickham and Winston were both murdered by something that caused rapid decomposition. That night in Oxford, I went into shock after hearing... a whispering sound..." He snapped his fingers and shouted, "Of course!" "I'm not following you," Walter confessed. "Don't you see? Something remained alive even after the avalanche. Something that killed." "What are you suggesting, Mulder? That Jamie's ghost has been trying to warn you?" "No, no don't say that." Walter sighed heavily. "Well, what you're telling me is pretty far fetched. You describe visions that began about a year ago--" "Coinciding with the deaths," Mulder broke in. "And then you start seeing Krycek as well?" Mulder shook his head. "I know it's crazy, Walter, but I haven't felt this sure about anything in a very long time. I'm sorry there's just some answers that I need. And I need to find them for myself." "Soul searching?" "Definitely searching." His voice was distant. Mulder retrieved the fallen box, then stared down at the accursed book sitting on the coffee table. The last time he'd seen it, the tome had been resting in Professor Wickham's flat. He touched it with slightly nervous fingers. An instinct told him exactly how important it was. Feeling Walter's concerned eyes upon him, Mulder looked up. "Listen, I need to ask a big favor." How could he refuse? "Name it." "Can you find out all you can about a research facility called Avatar?" "What's the connection?" he asked. "I'm not sure," he confessed, "but I'd like to know what interested them so to fund an expensive excavation of the catacombs. It's funny..." "What is?" "In some ancient beliefs, an avatar is a godlike entity." Walter sighed, and had to stop himself from chuckling. Mulder was definitely feeling better. "I'll see what I can find out... if you promise to take it easy." The younger man nodded vaguely. He collected the book into his arms, and strode away. Walter stared after him. "Mulder, where are you going?" He gave him a cocky grin. "To take a shower. It's time I rejoined the land of the living." ~oo0oo~ Mulder stood beneath the warm, pulsating water spraying down from the shower head. His face broke out into a huge grin. The memories of his time with Jamie were back. They were clear as pictures. He closed his eyes, basking in the glow of his first love. 'I'll always love you,' he heard Jamie's voice say. Jamie's body had not been idenitifed. This thought resounded and spun round and round like a carousel in his mind. The persisting feelings returned. It was possible. Jamie could have escaped the avalanche. He wasn't afraid of the truth anymore. Mulder threw back his head and allowed the waters to wash over him. He felt good to be alive. ~oo0oo~ The flickering images of a boat sailing into a brilliant sunset filled the darkened room. "No way, dude!" Langly protested. "Those two are definitely lovers." "Come off it," Frohike argued. "Did you see that kiss? Sure it was hot, but what a cop out!" "Yeah, well, I still say Xena and Gabrielle are more than just friends!" With a little grunt, Melvin flicked off the television set. John Byers waved his hand to catch their attention. "Shh, guys! Look, we've got a visitor." "I don't believe it," Frohike said, peering at the black and white monitor. "It's Mulder!" Standing outside the door, Mulder was literally hopping from foot to foot anxiously. He carried a large book under one arm. Admitting their friend, Mulder burst into their HQ. "Hi, hello, aloha," he said, quickly. Byers, Langly and Frohike looked at one another, nervously. Their friend appeared to be the picture of health. "Yes, I escaped from the macadamia ranch," he smirked. "Sure you shouldn't get your own parking place at the hospital?" joked Melvin. "Might be easier than being dragged there all the time," he replied. After his shower and a good shave, he'd found the discarded notes from the trip to Oxford. The three stooges were his best bet to uncovering this mystery. He'd hidden the naga box carefully. The life essence of Azathoth still resided within. He'd actually jumped when a slight whispering emanated from within. Enough trouble had been caused when the box had been accidentally opened. Thankfully, Professor Wickham managed to capture most of the essence -- although a small portion managed to escape. Mulder held up the tome, the light reflecting off the faded, cracked cover. Six eyes widened, recognizing the circular snake symbol adorning the front. Mulder plopped the book down heavily onto a nearby, cluttered desk. The trio inadvertently knocked Mulder out of the way in their haste to have a look at the book he'd brought in. They looked like starving kids let loose in a candy store. "Do you have any idea what this is?" Frohike asked. "Hot fucking damn!" Mulder looked at him in mock surprise. "Melvin, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" "It's, it's, it's..." Langly couldn't form the words. "The Necronomicon," Byers finished for him, an ominous awe tinging his voice. Mulder nodded. It was just as he feared. "After you guys wipe the drool from your chins, I need you to give me a translation. My latin's a little rusty. Anything to do with Azathoth, Chosen Ones, the works, got it?" Langly looked up. "I can scan the pages and run them through one of the new translator programs." "Good," Mulder nodded. "How long will it take?" Byers guessed. "Two or three days, maybe." "What's the rush, Mulder?" asked Frohike. "Looking to dig up a Great Old One?" "What do you make of these?" Mulder produced a black notebook, flipping the pages to his hastily drawn symbols. He noticed the looks passing between his friends. "Look guys, this is very, very important to me. I lost someone to a cult many years ago," he explained. "Anything you can find out, please?" "Sure thing," Frohike answered for them all. Byers and Langly nodded their assent. "Thanks," smiled Mulder. At last he was getting somewhere. ~oo0oo~ By the time he reached Avatar reception, Walter Skinner was considerably irritated. Yesterday, he'd spent the best part of an hour on hold before connecting with an Avatar representative. When he finally got through, it was a press officer who gave him so many run around answers that Walter felt nauseous afterwards. He was one to never suffer fools gladly, and these guys were slick. Using his official status, he'd managed to get a man on the line -- Vice President Gordon Stratton -- who offered to answer all of his questions. It made him wonder if they were avoiding any trouble with the bureau. Taking it upon himself, Walter hastily decided to visit the facility based in San Francisco. He wanted, correction, he needed to do this for Mulder. Is this the same magnetic draw that caused Scully to drop everything for him? Yes, he cared about Mulder deeply. The hurt in Mulder's eyes as he related the story of his first year at Oxford had tugged at Walter's heart. Losing someone the way he had, no wonder he'd retreated into work. To be truthful, he'd done the same exact thing. If his findings helped Mulder to move on, so be it. Now he knew the facts very well. Mulder's restored memory had produced a wealth of information. And it was enough to make anyone highly suspicious. Using bureau resources, Walter had learned that Avatar was originally ITAR -- the institute for technological advancement and research -- which went belly up soon after the millennium. Some bigwigs had appropriated the building, proclaiming it Avatar -- the world's leading genetic research facility. Mulder was right, what possible interest could a place like that have in funding an archaeological expedition? His thoughts returned to the present, and the gleaming walls of Avatar reception. An oily voice, dripping with sincerity called out to him. "Mr. Skinner?" Taken off guard, Walter saw a man appear from around a corner. "Welcome to Avatar." As he stood, the stranger took his hand firmly. "I'm Gordon Stratton, Vice President." "Good morning." The man's hand was clammy to the touch. "I hope that we haven't kept you waiting. The president of our company looks forward to meeting you." Gordon ushered Walter into an elevator and pressed the button for the penthouse. Standing side by side, Walter studied the man in the reflective surface of the lift doors. He broke into a monologue describing the company's purpose. Walter noted that his words were like a rehearsed speech. "We're willing to aid the FBI in any way that we can," Gordon concluded. Walter took a deep breath. "This isn't an official visit." "Oh no?" "My interests are... personal." The doors slid open. Without a word, Gordon led him along a hallway decorated with exspensive art pieces. Walter peered at the bizarre images as they passed by. Must be by some new age artist, he reckoned. At the end of the hall, his guide ushered him into a luxurious office. A man, clearly in his mid-thirties, was sitting behind an enormous desk. Walter had expected the president of this company to be much older. "Welcome to Avatar. I'm Matthew Blair. How may we help you, Mr. Skinner?" "Thank you," he replied, taking a seat before the desk. "I'm here on behalf of a close friend." "Oh?" "Concerning the excavation of catacombs in Oxford." The two men visibly blanched. Bullseye! Raw nerve, direct hit. With confidence, he continued. "I just find it a little odd that a genetic research facility would be interested in a so-called haunted forest." Matthew faintly smiled. "The excavation was personal to me. My father was one of those killed in the avalanche." Swallowing to conceal his surprise, Walter felt embarrassment rising. "I had no idea," he admitted. "My father was vice chancellor of the university," Matthew explained. "He discovered a group of students involved in," he paused for dramatic effect, "dangerous practices the night he died." Walter stood up, furious with himself for getting tangled up in one of Mulder's wild ideas. "Gentlemen, thank you for taking the time to talk with me..." he began but Matthew quickly broke in. "What happened in Oxford was a lost opportunity." Gordon edged toward him, almost as if to console him. Were the two men lovers? Walter wondered. "There will be another chance." They were like a double act! Walter read between the lines and sensed that this trip had not been in vain after all. Matthew's fingers danced across a computer keyboard, gazing intently at the screen. Walter stared across the desk and immediately noticed a reflection in Matthew's glasses of the computer screen. He knew it all too well: Mulder's FBI profile. How the hell could they access classified information? "We've been trying to reach those involved in the Oxford incident," Matthew told him. Sharply, Gordon added, "Some remain... out of reach." "Not for much longer," said Matthew. Military training helped Walter to remain calm. He felt guilty for doubting Mulder. He definitely sensed something dark about Avatar. He seemed to have been forgotten by the two men. It might have been a chance to leave, but then the image bouncing off the president's spectacles changed. He could just make out the photo reflected in the lenses. It was a young man with blonde hair, smiling beatifically. There was a sudden look of obsession glaring from the president's eyes. He pulled up and said, "There are other ways of finding him." A harsh electronic trilling filled the penthouse office. Gordon answered his cell phone, a look of concern passing over his face. "Our agent has been spotted back in the country," he muttered. Matthew Blair stared off into the distance. "Without contacting us?" "That devious little..." Gordon whispered. "Enough!" Matthew snapped. The air in the room was suddenly cold. Walter, determined not to let this moment pass, quickly jumped in. "Is there a problem?" he asked urgently. The president turned slowly and regarded him curiously, as if remembering that the AD was still in the room. "Not at all, Mr. Skinner." Moving forward, Walter stood directly before him. "It's nothing we can't handle," Gordon assured him. Walter's eyes were drawn to the computer screen. Two images completely filled the pixels: Mulder's and the mysterious blonde man. Between the photographs, words spilled down in an endless stream: *Find the Deliverer* The screen flared into darkness, and Walter actually took a step back. Matthew's voice became very hard and rasping. "Thank you for visiting Avatar, Mr. Skinner. If you'll excuse us, we have business to attend to." The heads of the facility slowly turned to stare at each other. Startled by the creepiness of the situation, Walter edged away from the desk and left the office. Matthew sat back into the cushion of his leather chair. "Keep a close eye on that man." "What about your agent?" Gordon pressed, refusing to use the term 'our.' "If he has betrayed us, we will deal with him." ~oo0oo~ Walter Skinner shook his phone angrily. He'd been trying to call Mulder ever since he left the Avatar building. Everytime, the blasted answering machine picked up. Where had he run off to? He rang Dana, but she hadn't seen him either, and now she was concerned. The meeting at Avatar had left him rattled. What was their interest in Mulder? And who was the young man in the photo? The lights of D.C. filled him with relief. Thanks to a brief doze on the plane ride home, his batteries were recharged. A sense of anticipation filled him as the taxi pulled up outside of Mulder's apartment building. Walter peered at a darkened window. He'd have to leave Mulder a note. Paying the cabbie, he stepped out and hurried inside. The elevator doors opened, and the corridor leading down to number 42 was distinctly quiet. 'Get a hold of yourself, Skinner!' he barked to himself. Fingering his collar, he felt a slight trickle of sweat. He paused at apartment 42 and moved to knock. Then stopped when he noticed the door was slightly ajar, darkness beyond. With alarm, Walter gently pushed the door open with the toe of his shoe. Thankfully, the hinges didn't creak. Casting his eyes into the gloom, he noticed a figure hunched over Mulder's desk. Dim illumination from the aquarium revealed the shape to be a man as he moved closer. Sensing another presence, the figure straightened and turned around. For one of the few times in his life, Walter Skinner felt his legs turn to jelly. "Well, look who's here," Alex Krycek smiled. [Next Episode: How To Build A Better Rat Trap]