Pretty Is…
I’ll Be Home For Christmas
Part Two
By Cat
Copyright 2001/2004 © Cat
This story may not be reproduce without specific written permission from the author.
*****
“God I’m cold!” Nat griped stomping his feet on the mat just inside the doorway as they all walked into the entryway.
“Wimp!” Nicky laughed dancing out of the way of the red head as the other man took a playful swing at him. “How can you be cold all done up in these caroling outfits?”
“Hey! You got to wear your ski pants underneath that huge skirt, that is way warmer than these jodhpurs and long coat,” the singer countered as he headed for the living room looking forward to sitting on the hearth as close to the fireplace as he could.
He came up short as he ran into a much larger body in the doorway and stumbled back catching himself against the table in the middle of the entry. The silence that filled the room made it clear that something was up and he looked around seeing a varying array of facial expressions. The man he’d run into was shorter than his own lover and Jason, but taller than Eric and the same height as Mr. Sullivan. The dark haired, gray-eyed man in front of him had to be the last brother, Jack.
“We were beginning to wonder where everyone was,” the middle Sullivan brother commented as a dark haired woman joined him in the doorway of the living room.
“Jack! We weren’t expecting the two of you until tomorrow,” Maura exclaimed breaking the awkward silence and walking forward to embrace her son and kiss her daughter-in-law.
Jonathan followed taking the hand his son held out and then his daughter- in-law’s. “We took the train to the lodge and back so we got home early enough to have a nice afternoon for caroling,” he explained. “If the two of you want to go we’ve still got lots of time over the next few days.”
“That sounds good, Dad,” the other man replied nodding at Jonathan’s suggestion.
Jack’s eyes ran around the room taking in his brothers as well as Nicky and the three strangers. The man and woman had to be the friends of his brother’s that his Mom had mentioned. He had no idea who the red head that ran into him was. From the look on the man’s face though it was obvious that the long braided stranger knew who he was. Finally he nodded at Jason ignoring Jamie. He still hadn’t forgiven him for breaking his nose five years ago and silence was the better tactic at the moment.
“Jack,” Jason nodded at his brother with guarded eyes. He slipped his arm around Nicky drawing his husband close to his side protectively. It wasn’t the way he wanted to start, but it was probably better to make it clear that things would be different this time. “You remember Nicky, my husband. And this is Eric and Sally Constantine, our friends. Eric, Sally this is my brother Jack and his wife Cheryl.”
Sally and Eric nodded in greeting, but stayed silent for the moment reserving any judgements until they saw how things went. The couple had discussed this moment often over the last several days. They didn’t want to do anything to hurt Maura or Jonathan, but they intended to make it clear that all their support was for their friends.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Jack said looking at the Constantine’s, while his wife nodded and smiled at them. “Nicky, welcome back, I hope you’ve been enjoying winter in Boston.”
Nicky’s arms wrapped tighter around Jason. Cordial the other man might sound, but the brunette wasn’t ready to drop his protective barriers yet. “It’s wonderful, I love the snow,” he answered softly.
“So you decided to accept Mom and Dad’s invitation this year Jamie?” the middle Sullivan inquired turning to his youngest brother finally, using politeness to dismiss the others.
“Yes, since they said that Nicky was coming this year, Nat and I wanted to come so we could meet him,” Jamie’s silver eyes bored coldly into his brother’s daring the older man to try anything.
“This must Nat?” Jacks eyes turned to look down at the young man still resting against the entry table. At least this one looked like a man even if he did have long hair, not that Jamie’s was much shorter at the moment. “You’ve let your hair grow, little brother.”
“I’m Nathaniel Bennett,” Nat held out his hand uncertainly, tensing when the other man took it.
He relaxed feeling his boyfriend come up beside him, feeling protected having the larger man there. It was intimidating being in the midst of so many people that were as much as half a foot and more taller than he was. He couldn’t even imagine what it must have been like for Nicky his first time because even Jack’s wife Cheryl had to be five foot eleven or even six feet. But then he did remember Jamie telling him that she’d been a model up until a few years ago. Looking at her the redhead could believe it.
“I was already growing it, the last time we saw each other.” Jamie saw his brother’s eyes narrow at the veiled reminder. One thing the brothers had perfected long ago was how to carry on a perfectly civil conversation on the surface that only each other could read the nuances of below the surface.
“Alright, lets stop standing around in the front door and come inside,” Maura said firmly giving her two youngest sons a penetrating look that let them know she wasn’t fooled for a moment about what was happening. “Jason, will you build up the fire please, I think Nat said that he was freezing. I’m sure he’d appreciate it. Cheryl, Nicky will you two help me get some coffee and snacks ready?”
The small brunette looked uncertainly at his sister-in-law, then at Maura and finally up at his husband. “Go on baby,” Jason murmured leaning down to brush a kiss over the tight mouth. “It will be okay.”
Nicky nodded and slipped out of the heavy coat and hood he was wearing handing them Jason. “Will you help me out of the ski pants?” he asked softly. “They’ll be too hot inside.”
The big man chuckled and nodded handing off Nicky’s things to Eric who held out a hand for them. The big blond also took Sally’s and held out a hand for Maura’s ready to put them away in the main closet for their next trip out caroling. In the mean time Jason knelt down and reached under the heavy skirts of Nicky’s costume to unfasten the hot pink ski pants he was wearing underneath.
“Lean on my shoulders Baby, so I can take your boots off,” he said looking up at his husband with reassuring eyes.
*****
Jamie led his lover into the living room and started working on the fire since Jason was busy. And he wanted to stay close to Nat right now anyway until they knew how things were going to go. The redhead settled on the corner of the hearth taking off his out door things and laying them on the floor beside him leaving him in his own men’s version of the Victorian caroler’s costume. His blue eyes strayed to the doorway watching warily as Jack followed them into the room with his father and Sally Constantine. She gave him a warm smile picking up the coat and gloves he’d taken off.
“I’ll take these out to Eric to hang up while you get warmed up,” she told him.
Nat smiled up at her, feeling himself relax as his mind came to grips with the idea that he was in the company of more friends than possible foes. He almost felt sorry for his lover’s brother, or would have if he hadn’t known how poorly the other couple had treated Nicky on his first trip. From the bits and pieces of information he’d picked up over the last few days things hadn’t stopped there either. He wondered where he stood in the other man’s eyes at the moment. He knew that it shouldn’t matter to him, but it did. He and Nicky had talked at length during the train ride home and he knew their fears were the same. They didn’t want to come between their lovers and their lovers’ family members, but they wouldn’t walk away either, they couldn’t.
*****
Nicky stepped out of the ski pants as his husband lowered them down around his sock-clad feet and let go of Jason’s shoulders to step back. He lifted the heavy velvet skirt of the dress so his husband could pull the winter clothing out from under it. When his big lover stood up the little brunette looked around realizing that only Eric was left in the entryway with them.
“Mom and Cheryl already went to the kitchen,” Jason told his little husband caressing his cold cheek. “Don’t worry Baby, Mom can be a real lioness when she wants to be. Everything will be okay.”
The brunette nodded nuzzling the hand on his cheek. “I know, I’m just nervous. I don’t want things to go badly, your Mom shouldn’t have to choose between me and her own son.”
“Nicky, Baby, that is Jack’s problem. He and Cheryl are the ones forcing that issue. Not you and not me,” Jason stated firmly. “Now go on or Mom will think that you aren’t coming.”
Jason turned his lover and gave him a gentle push toward the hall that led to the kitchen. He gave the brunette an encouraging smile as he momentarily turned to look over his shoulder with worried hazel eyes. Rose tinted lips smiled back hesitantly and then Nicky was gone padding down the hallway in his sock feet and swishing skirts.
“Well this was a bit of a surprise wasn’t it?” Eric questioned as he finished hanging up the coats in his hands and reached out to take the ones that Sally had brought him.
The eldest Sullivan sibling pulled off his own coat nodding absently. “Yes they weren’t supposed to arrive until tomorrow morning.” He handed Eric his coat as the tall blond finished hanging up the ones that Sally had brought him.
“Do you think they were trying to throw everyone off by arriving early?” Nicky’s friend asked softly looping her arm through her husband’s once he had closed the closet door.
Jason shrugged, he really had no idea at this point. For now he’d give his brother the benefit of the doubt only because he didn’t want to be the one to make things start out on a bad foot. He was going to have enough trouble keeping Nicky’s spirits up right now without letting his own suspicions run away with him. Also this time around they had the stronger footing, compared to the family reunion that he’d brought the little brunette to five years ago. On top of that Jack now had to get it through his head that his little brother was also gay. And from what Jason had seen so far Jamie was as protective of Nat as he was with Nicky, with good reason.
“I suppose we’ll find out,” he admitted moving toward the living room door. He stepped inside to see the fire going nicely with his little brother stretched out in front of it with his head in lover’s lap. “Thanks little brother, I was helping Nicky get out of those ski pants or I’d have been in here sooner.”
Jamie turned his head and grinned. “No problem, I was cold too. Starting the fire up helped take the edge off. You know I still can’t believe he hasn’t gotten tired of the snow and cold yet. I’m already wishing for California sunshine again.”
“Well you’re just going to have to wait another week young man,” Jonathan Sullivan chided his son as he stretched out in a nearby chair. “Your Mother has been pining for a family Christmas like this for five years.” Just to reinforce the idea that this was important he glared at all three of his sons to make sure they got the message.
“Dad after this Christmas I would probably have to tie Nicky down to keep him home,” Jason laughed as he sat down on the loveseat. Then he looked around the room thoughtfully.
It was no wonder that his youngest brother and his lover were on the floor by the fire. Looking around he was wondering if they’d have enough seats. Jack was on the couch, Cheryl would join him there when they brought the snacks in. His Mom would probably also sit on the couch. Standing up he moved to the other wing-backed chair so that Sally and Eric could have the loveseat. They grinned at him and snuggled down comfortably. Nicky would be perfectly happy in his lap he already knew that. It was their normal arrangement.
“Good,” his Father replied with a broad smile. “We’ve loved having you all here early. I don’t think you’ll be able to use work as a way to get out of coming next year.”
“So, you never did answer Mom,” Jamie said casually looking over at Jack. “We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow. I thought Nat and I would be the only surprises this year.”
“I closed the office early today since this is the weekend before Christmas. Cheryl and I were able to catch the noon flight from Denver. We probably got in just about the time you left to go caroling,” Jack answered coolly. “We were expecting to arrive about the same time you got in from Vermont.”
“With so many people we decided that it would be more comfortable to go on the train. It really did work out better,” Mr. Sullivan repeated his explanation from earlier.
*****
Nicky slipped into the kitchen and walked over to stand beside Maura who was making up small sandwiches. “Hey Mom sorry it took me so long, Jason helped me get out of my ski pants so I wouldn't get too hot.”
Mrs. Sullivan looked down at him and smiled, before reaching over and pulling a long apron off a hook and handing it to him. “That’s okay honey, I don’t blame you.”
Nicky returned the smile feeling better already in his Mother-in-law’s presence. He slipped the shoulder straps of the apron up over his arms and settled them firmly then reached around to tie the sashes into a bow at the back. The apron was huge and covered most of the costume which he was glad to see. Looking around he saw that Cheryl was busy making the coffee and setting up a tray with the dishes they would need.
“What can I do Mom?” he asked smoothing the apron and missing the look thrown his way by the other woman.
“Hmm, will you make up more of the dip you made Wednesday, for vegetables and chips, Sweetheart? Everyone loved that,” Maura said placing another small sandwich on the large plate she was making up.
The little brunette grinned and nodded moving immediately to the large fridge to pull out the ingredients for his special cream cheese dip. He also pulled out the vegetables he wanted to go with it so that he could prepare those also. With his arms loaded he walked back to the big worktable where Jason’s mother was working and sorted everything out.
“You know Nicky it’s too bad you’re so small,” Cheryl said as she walked over to join them. She pulled a holiday hors d’ oeuvres tray out of a cabinet and set it on the table starting to work on the vegetables that the young man had pulled out. “…You would make a wonderful model,” she continued. “Have you ever considered it?”
Nicky didn’t know whether to be shocked, upset or complimented. The comment was completely innocent taken at face value. “No, because you’re right I am too small. I can’t even really model my own jewelry because it’s made for larger boned people,” he answered finally, taking the words at face value. “But thank you, I’ve been very lucky.”
“Don’t you worry that the wrong people might find out about you?” the other woman asked placing pieces of cut celery into one of the tray sections.
“What do you mean?” he asked cautiously pausing in mixing the ingredients for the dip. He noted that Maura had also stopped working on the sandwiches she was making and was looking at the other woman.
Cheryl looked up from her work but her expression seemed only curious. “I mean when you are out alone doing things like shopping. Don’t you worry that you could be attacked? I mean we read about it all the time. I know that it would be almost impossible for a stranger to even tell but still….” She shrugged letting the sentence trail off.
“I do, all the time, but I can’t hide,” Nicky answered calmly going back to his work. “It’s just part of the life that Jason and I have chosen.”
“Nicky honey will you go and ask Jonathan to go down stairs and pick a nice white wine that will go well with sandwiches and snacks? Oh and a new bottle of brandy, we used the last of the one up here on Wednesday for the eggnog,” Maura turned to her son-in-law.
Nicky nodded, “ Sure Mom, be right back to finish the dip.” He set the bowl down and left the room walking out of the kitchen quickly.
*****
“So anyway we ended up having to carry Nicky and Nat out of the sleigh at the end of the ride last night,” Jason said looking around when he heard movement in the doorway. He grinned at his lover who was blushing deep red.
“Well it was so nice and warm under all those blankets and the ride was so smooth….”
“And we stayed up so late the night before and got up so early yesterday morning. It’s no wonder we fell asleep!” Nat finished from where he was sitting on the floor by the fireplace.
The others laughed as their attention passed between the two small men. “What’s the matter Baby, did Mom ask you to come tell us we’re eating in the dining room after all?” the eldest Sullivan sibling asked.
Nicky shook his head. “Dad, Mom asked if you would go down and get a bottle of white wine that would go well with sandwiches and hors d oeuvres. Oh and a new bottle of brandy for the eggnog.”
Jonathan nodded and stood up stretching. “I’ll bring them right in Nicky.” He walked out of the room patting the still pink cheek gently as he passed.
“Any ETA on the food, Nicky?” Jamie asked sitting up a bit to look at the younger man.
“Give us about ten more minutes okay? Mom is making enough sandwiches for an army. Which I guess we are just about,” the brunette laughed looking around at the horde of people.
The youngest Sullivan sibling sighed exaggeratedly dropping back down to rest his head in his lover’s lap. “I think I’ll make it ten more minutes,” he responded dramatically as the others chuckled.
Nicky laughed and turned leaving the living room to return to the kitchen. He paused at the door not meaning to eavesdrop but the voices coming through the door were too easy to hear to ignore. He didn’t know whether to be upset or touched when he heard the slightly scolding tone of Maura’s voice as she spoke to his sister-in-law about her topic of conversation. As the voices paused he pushed open the door as if he’d just arrived.
“Dad’s gone to get the things you asked for Mom!” he said cheerily. “I’m glad I’m in here, Jason and Jamie are out there embarrassing Nat with stories about how we fell asleep on the sleigh ride last night.”
Maura laughed and hugged Nicky as he came back to the table beside her. “That was funny, you were so excited about that ride and half way through it both of you were sound asleep. If it hadn’t been for the fact that we were all nice and warm I think Jason would have thought you’d fallen asleep from being too cold and made the driver turn around right then and there.”
Cheryl smiled somewhat thinly as she laid the last of the vegetables into the tray sections and wiped her hands on a towel. “Maura why don’t I go ahead and take the coffee out since it’s ready?”
“Alright Cheryl honey, we’ll bring the rest in a few minutes,” Maura told her and the other woman picked up the tray she’d prepared earlier and the coffee carafe heading for the living room.
Once the other woman was gone the kitchen settled into a subdued silence for a few minutes as Nicky finished mixing his dip for the vegetables. Maura put the final touches on her plate of sandwiches then sat it aside and went to a cupboard to pull out a large bag of Fritos. Nicky watched her quietly knowing that his Mother-in-law wanted to say something and he was pretty sure he knew what it was. He would have prompted her, but didn’t want to admit that he’d accidentally eavesdropped on the conversation between Maura and Cheryl.
“Nicky, Honey I hope Cheryl didn’t upset you with what she was saying,” Mrs. Sullivan said finally as she stepped back up to the work center with the chips and a large bowl.
“No, it’s okay, Mom. It’s not my favorite topic of conversation, but it is a valid one,” Nicky replied giving the older woman a smile. “Actually it’s a conversation that I normally have with all my friends at one point or another. Not just for my safety, but for theirs too.”
Nicky stirred spices into his softened cream cheese and sour cream mixture, concentrating on it as he continued to explain. “Being seen with me can make them targets too, so I want them to know the risks and that I understand if they suddenly can’t or won’t see me anymore.”
Maura tipped the opened bag of Fritos up and thoughtfully poured them into the large, Christmasy bowl as she absorbed what Nicky was telling her. She’d already known that Nicky and Jason were both at risk because of their lifestyle, but she hadn’t thought about how it might affect others. When the last chip had fallen into the bowl she set the bag aside and reached over to take her son-in-laws face in her hands.
“I suppose I will never really understand all of this, but you know it doesn’t matter to me if I do or not. I just know that you make my son happy, you make Jonathan and I happy. Any problems that come we’ll handle them as a family, so don’t you ever forget that.”
The small brunette blinked, then smiled blindingly and hugged her tight. He knew he was accepted, his in-laws had made it perfectly clear. Still these private moments of affirmation meant so much to him. Especially now when his nerves were stretched to their limits and unwanted memories of the past tried to slip through.
“Hey save some of that hugging for me,” Jason’s voice cut across the room from the kitchen door. “I was sent to see if the food was almost ready. I think Jamie is going to wither away to nothing out there from the way he’s moaning.”
Maura and Nicky separated laughing. “I think we’re all done,” the smaller man answered looking at his mother-in-law.
“We are,” Mrs. Sullivan stated. “Jason will you take the vegetable tray and sandwiches, Nicky you take the bowl of chips and I’ll bring the Eggnog.”
Jason saluted his mother smartly making them all laugh again. He stepped over to the center island and picked up the heavy platters, then followed Nicky and Maura out of the kitchen both hands loaded with food. They were greeted in the living room by cheers as everyone spied the heaping dishes. Helping hands cleared off the coffee table and within a few minutes everyone was settled in their seats with food.
Nicky and Jason sat in the big wing backed chair together, the smaller man curled up in his husband’s lap. Momentarily engrossed in each other as they shared the light dinner, they missed the barely concealed hostile look sent their way by Jack. But on the fireplace hearth Jamie frowned and started a conversation to drag attention his way. He loved his brothers, even Jack, but sometimes he just didn’t trust him and right now every hair on the back of his neck would have been standing on end if they could.
**********
Jason looked up as the back porch door opened and raised an eyebrow as a big shadowed figure came out. He’d expected to see Nicky coming to look for him since it was the middle of the night, but not his little brother. The older Sullivan turned to look back out over the snow-covered backyard as Jamie moved to stand beside him at the rail.
“Can’t sleep?” Jamie asked as he passed a steaming cup of hot cocoa to his older brother. “And before you get too profuse with the thanks, that’s just instant. Like hell am I making a mess in Mom’s kitchen at two in the morning.”
“Well as you can see I wasn’t even willing to make instant anything, so thanks anyway,” Jason chuckled. Then he sobered wrapping both big cold hands around the warm cup. “No, I couldn’t.”
“Wanna talk about it?” the younger Sullivan questioned as he turned so he could look at his brother and not the yard. “I’ve gotten really good at listening these days. Have to honestly, Nat hides so much I have to listen to catch what he’s not telling me.”
“Tonight, it was too…” the older man struggled for the word he wanted, still staring out at the moonlit snow as if looking for answers there.
“Surreal?”
“Yeah, way too damn bizarre tonight,” Jason agreed as he also turned leaning his hip against the porch railing to look at his brother. “We both know Jack, he doesn’t just drop something. And as of July he was still trying to break Nicky and I up.”
“Maybe Mom and Dad actually put the fear of God into him or something?” Jamie commented sipping his chocolate. “I don’t know if you saw them, but he definitely sent a few looks at the two of you tonight that weren’t brotherly affection.”
Jason shook his head stepping away from the rail to pace the length of the back porch and back. “No, I didn’t see them. It doesn’t surprise me though. As long as he doesn’t hurt Nicky I don’t care what he thinks of us.”
“I understand the feeling,” his brother replied watching the older man as he moved. He recognized the signs of his brother trying to calm himself down. As they had gotten older and Jason had matured he’d always end up on the back porch after a fight with Jack pacing until he had his emotions under control. “If it’s any consolation it’s really easy to see that Mom and Dad absolutely adore Nicky. What happened before will only happen over their dead bodies this time.”
The elder Sullivan nodded. “I know and this trip has been great so far.” He looked over and smiled at Jamie. “I am really glad you came, it means a lot to Mom and Dad. But you know, it means a lot to me too, having you here. I like Nat a lot also, I’m sorry that the way you two met was so…”
“Yeah me to, but let’s not talk about that okay? I know that it actually happened to Nat and no way should I be feeling sorry for myself over it. But sometimes when he’s in the middle of some damn night terror that I can’t wake him up from it just rips me apart,” Jamie said harshly, his voice choked.
Jason set his cup down then took Jamie’s placing it on the rail and pulled his brother into a hug. “I understand, I mean okay I don’t understand not to that extent, no one could but you or Nat. But you know this is the first Christmas I haven’t had to look into Nicky’s eyes and be afraid I was going to see sadness. And there was never a damn thing I could do except hold him until he felt better.”
Jamie settled into the hug grateful for the comfort and nodded silently against his brother’s shoulder. He hoped his older brother never had to go through what he’d been through. He hadn’t even known Nat when everything first happened and he’d barely coped. Now, being so in love with the redhead it was worse. What would happen to Jason if something like that happened to Nicky now after they’d been together five years? The thought was almost too difficult to contemplate.
“Hey enough of this,” he stated gruffly pulling back at last. Embarrassed he picked up his mug and took a long drink before leaning against the rail again. “Any idea what Mom’s got planned for tomorrow… uhm today?”
Taking his cue from his younger brother, Jason picked up his own mug and leaned against the rail nonchalantly as if nothing had just happened. “Well since we weren’t expecting Jack until in the morning, I think she’d planned on a lazy morning. As for the afternoon I think she and Dad were going to rope us all into helping with toy deliveries.”
The younger Sullivan nodded in understanding. Every year the Board members and Administrators of the local children’s hospital, of which his mother was one, played Santa Claus. Each member took one unit to ease the load and so that the children got more personal attention.
“Just so long as I don’t have to dress up as Santa or an elf I’m game,” he responded.
“I think Dad’s Santa,” Jason grinned. “But I don’t know about the elf thing. I sure as hell hope not. Nicky’d be great but I think you and I are little too tall.”
The back door opened again and this time when the older Sullivan looked over he saw his lover standing there looking out at him. The little brunette was beautiful with his long curls sleep rumpled, dressed only in a long lace nightgown and negligee.
“What are you doing out here?” Nicky questioned softly rubbing his eyes as he peered into the shadows of the porch and shivered.
“We were just talking, Baby. We couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to keep everyone up,” the big man answered as he walked over to the door. He wrapped his arm around Nicky then chuckled as his husband squirmed away with a gasp.
“God, your cold, come to bed?” the crossdresser asked plaintively. “It’s lonely up there without you.”
Jason laughed softly and kissed Nicky’s cheek. “Okay, Baby go on up and I’ll be right there. Turn on the electric blanket for me will you?” He watched the smaller man nod and then head down the back hallway to the stairs before looking back at his brother who’d walked over to join him.
“Thanks, for the talk and thank you for keeping your eyes open. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime big brother, I know you’re doing the same for me with Nat,” Jamie replied reassuringly. “I should get in too. I don’t like to leave Nat alone for long at night.”
Jason wrapped an arm around his brother’s shoulders and they walked inside. They only paused long enough to lock the back door and drop their mugs in the kitchen sink. At the top of the stairs they parted ways going to their own rooms. The older sibling slipping into his room near the stairs while Jamie headed down to his room at the opposite end of the corridor. In the bedroom just across from the stairs Maura cuddled up against her husband safe in the knowledge that all her children were again safe and accounted for.
**********
Jason smiled watching Nicky skate away from him doing quick one bladed turns. The little brunette had really taken to ice skating, citing his roller skating experience as the key. The older man had an idea that his lover was just a natural at it. His husband turned back to look at him laughing happily and Jason held out his hand to call him back. The smile died on his lips a look of horror filling his face as another skater suddenly barreled into the younger man.
There was a scream from somewhere nearby as Nicky was knocked off his feet and went flying. Jason had only a moment to see the other man before he was gone skating away on the large outdoor rink before anyone could stop him.
“Nicky!”
Sally’s cry of alarm shook the big man out of his shock-induced stillness and he rushed to his husband’s side arriving at the same moment as his parents and Eric. He dropped to his knees beside the crumpled body reaching out with shaking hands as blood spread out on the ice. He didn’t register the music going silent or the people slowly gathering to gawk.
“Don’t move her!” A stranger dropped down beside Nicky from the opposite side and carefully reached out to check for a pulse. “Anyone with a cellphone call nine-one-one, now.”
Jonathan was already on his phone speaking to the emergency operator. “They’ll be here in a few minutes,” he told the man kneeling beside his son- in-law. The man’s uniform implied that he was some form of emergency personnel employed by the Park Service for the skating rink.
“Did anyone see what happened?” the man asked looking up at them all.
“He came out of no where,” Sally said shakily.
“He?”
“A man, a big man in a dark blue snow coat,” Jason mumbled as he fumbled for one of Nicky’s hands holding it cautiously. “He was flying when he went by Nicky, I thought they collided at first, but the man didn’t fall. He kept on going.”
The sound of sirens filled the air and a few minutes later more emergency personnel and police were making their way out onto the ice carefully. Eric drew Jason away so that the paramedics to get to Nicky. The police were dispersing the bystanders leaving only the family in a loose semi-circle as they watched the men working over the little brunette.
Questions came his way and Jason answered them automatically. He barely noticed the men’s astonished faces when they discovered that Nicky was not a woman, as they’d first believed. The big man had no memory of how he got to the hospital only coming back to his surroundings when he realized that a Doctor was standing in front of him.
“Sir, does your… friend have any family in town who can authorize treatment?” the older man was asking him.
“I can authorize any treatment necessary,” Jason answered slowly in confusion. “Nicky is my husband and I have his power of attorney.”
The Doctor shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry the marriage isn’t recognized, the power of attorney for a none blood relative also isn’t recognized. Without a family member’s permission releasing decision making to you there is nothing we can do.”
“I’m his husband! We’ve been married five years!” the big man growled, eyes dilating with anger as he advanced on the Doctor.
“Jason stop it!” Jonathan grabbed his son and hauled him back. “Your Mom is on the phone to the Haides right now. Doctor will a vocal okay over the phone be enough?”
Richard Abrams watched warily as the elder Sullivan calmed his son and nodded. “Yes, all I need is their consent.”
“Doctor,” Maura stepped up and held the phone to the man. “Nicky’s father is on the line.”
Dr. Abrams took the phone and began talking. The other three listened as he explained to Mr. Haide the same things that he had already explained to them about Nicky’s injuries. Finally he broached the problem of treatment and on going decisions needing consent. Finally he nodded and handed the phone to Jason.
“They said that all the decisions were to go through you. That you have their permission to do whatever you think is best. They also want to talk to you.”
Jason took the phone numbly, mumbling apologies and thanks in the same breath. He listened as Andrew Haide talked to him, but after a moment without really registering anything that was said he handed the phone to his Mother and turned to the Doctor. Maura shook her head and walked a few steps away to reassure Nicky’s parents.
“What do you need from me?” Jason asked looking down at the older man from his greater height.
“Nicky sustained severe head trauma from hitting the ice. We need to do x- rays to check for any hidden damage. Once we’ve ascertained that then we will go from there. He’s still unconscious and not responding to attempts to wake him,” Abrams answered.
“You mean coma,” Jason responded weakly reaching out to brace himself on the back of a nearby chair.
“It’s only been about an hour so it’s too early to assume anything,” the Physician asserted calmly. He was not eager to see the patient’s lover lose control again, but he still had to acknowledge that there was the possibility. “He could be coming around as we speak, but the longer he stays unconscious the more likely it is that he won’t wake up.”
Jonathan Sullivan put an arm around his eldest comforting him as they both took in this brutal news. “But it’s still early so we may be worrying for nothing right?”
“Yes, there is no reason right now to believe that Nicky won’t wake up and be just fine except for a rather vicious headache,” the Doctor reassured them again. “But we really need to get the x-rays done to see what else we may be up against.”
“Do it, you have my permission, what ever you need to do you have my permission. Just… just bring him back to me… please,” Jason implored.
Abrams nodded firmly and turned on his heel hurrying back to the examination room where Nicky had been taken. He was a little shaken by his encounter, he’d been faced with angry and grieving spouses, parents and significant others many times. But this was the first time he’d actually been afraid, he had no doubt the victim’s boyfriend would have been all over him if his parents hadn’t been there.
*****
Jamie strode through the Emergency room doors with Nat’s hand held firmly in his own. Eric and Sally were walking behind him swiftly. The younger Sullivan looked around the waiting area until he spotted his family in a private room just outside the main emergency doors. His mother met him at the door and hugged him tightly.
“Where are Jack and Cheryl?” Maura asked quietly as she ushered them all inside.
“Jack said that with all of us here there would be too many people under foot,” Jamie answered barely keeping the sarcasm out of his voice. “Has there been any word?”
“Nicky’s still unconscious,” Jason said from where he stood in the window staring at the closed doors to the main emergency area. “They’re taking him for x-rays right now.”
“Nicky will be alright, I’m sure of it,” Sally told the room at large moving to stand next to Jason resting a hand on his arm.
“He has to be,” the oldest Sullivan sibling murmured looking down at her.
*****
A second hour had slowly dragged by when the emergency room door opened and Doctor Abrams came out. The family practically met him in the doorway of the private lounge each of them wearing their own expression of anxious concern.
“Has there been any change Doctor?” Jason asked first as the older man moved into the room.
“What did the x-rays show?” Maura asked worriedly. There was nothing in the physician’s face to tell them whether there was good news or bad coming their way.
“Please sit down everyone,” Abrams requested as he moved into the room. He waited until they were sitting down then pulled up an empty chair so that he could face them all. “Mr. Sullivan… Nicky, has a severe concussion. The laceration on the right temple was actually relatively minor and only needed a few stitches….”
“But there was so much blood,” Sally commented leaning forward to look at the Doctor.
“Head injuries can and will often bleed heavily even when there is not a serious injury,” the Emergency Physician explained. “The good news is that the CAT scans and x-rays showed no bleeding inside the skull or swelling of the brain tissue at the impact area. The bad news is that there is a small hairline fracture of the skull. It will heal nicely, but hurt like hell. Also Nicky still has not regained consciousness and attempts to bring him around still have not worked.”
The family’s mixed emotions showed on their faces as they took in what they were being told. On the one hand the news was very good, but on the other very frightening. The fact that Nicky still wasn’t awake or showing signs of coming around meant that there still might be something more wrong.
“You didn’t find anything? Nothing that would explain why he hasn’t woken up?” Jason questioned anxiously. He didn’t want anything to be wrong, didn’t want something that might sneak up on them and take his small husband away.
“No, nothing at this time. And that is a good thing. Sometimes something will come to light after a period of time, but we saw no indications that anything was brewing,” Abrams counseled watching as the big man rubbed one hand over his face in a nervous gesture. “Right now Nicky is being moved up to ICU where he will have almost one on one round the clock trauma care. Each nurse has two patients only so that they can monitor them more closely. We’ll keep him there for the next twenty-four hours then go from there.”
“Can… can we see him?” Jason asked turning to look at his Mother as she took his hand squeezing it gently.
“Only for a few minutes and only two people. Tomorrow during visiting hours he can have two visitors at a time,” the Physician explained standing up prepared to head back to the emergency room. “Visiting hours are over, but I sent word up to have them let you in. You might get through to Nicky where we didn’t. But please only a few minutes so that the other patients aren’t disturbed.” Abrams handed over a card with his name and contact information. On the back was the floor number and Nicky’s ICU information. “Good luck and call me if you have any questions or concerns.”
“Thank you Doctor,” Maura gave the man a strained smile as they all stood in unison more than ready to head to where Nicky had been transferred.
Abrams nodded returning the smile then hurried out as he was flagged by a nurse from the emergency room doors. The family watched him leave and then trooped out of the room to find the nearest elevators. Five minutes later they were following signs along a third floor corridor leading them to the Head Trauma ICU. Turning a corner they came to a halt outside a set of double doors, on one side of the hallway was a door into a small lounge. Without discussion everyone but Maura and Jason filed silently into the room.
“We’ll wait out here for you son, we’ll be praying that Nicky wakes up while you’re in there,” Jonathan said hugging his oldest tightly for a moment then he too walked into the waiting room to join the others.
Maura pressed the release bar on the doors and the two of them entered the intensive care unit, quietly walking forward to the curved desk area. From the nurses station they could see that every small room was visible to the nurses’ eyes. Monitors sat on the desk where they could keep track of the patients’ physical stats.
“Can I help you?” a nurse stepped forward, looking at them expectantly.
“My name is Jason Sullivan. My… husband was brought up, the doctor said that he sent word to let me in for a few minutes.”
The nurse moved to where the charts were kept without hardly a blink of an eye and found Nicky’s looking at the information there. “Yes, just a minute and I’ll get Mr. Sullivan’s nurse to help you.”
She left the desk stepping into one of the rooms and speaking to a man who was attending to a patient. As the other nurse turned away to talk to her Jason saw Nicky. He started in that direction knowing his Mother was following and was met at the opening to the glass wall by a man about his own age.
“Mr. Sullivan, I’m Doug Russell. I’ll be Nicky’s night nurse, I promise he’ll get excellent care. But it would certainly be nice if you could get him to wake up for us for a few minutes.”
Jason nodded, but his eyes were only for his lover who was lying so still and quiet in the hospital bed. Maura stopped to take the outstretched hand, studying the man who held the care of her son-in-law in his grasp. Friendly blue eyes smiled down at her lively and honest from beneath a shaggy set of blond bangs. If she’d seen him on the street her first thought would have been surfer or life guard because he had a strongly built upper body. She assumed it would be helpful to him having to lift patients.
“Thank you, he’s very special to us,” she stated.
“I can tell,” Doug replied nodding to where Jason now leaned over the bed caressing the unbruised side of his lover’s face.
“Nicky, Baby, I’m here. Please Baby wake up and let me see those beautiful eyes of yours,” Jason begged softly nuzzling his husband’s ear trying to ignore the bandages that wrapped around his head. “This was supposed to be our best Christmas ever, but you have to wake up first or it won’t mean anything.”
Only the soft beep of the heart monitor answered him and the big man seemed to sag beneath the weight of his grief and worry. Only the fact that his small lover was breathing on his own and that the doctor had reassured them that his injury, though bad, showed nothing deadly kept him calm. The big man placed a soft kiss on the unresponsive lips and stood up looking across at the male nurse.
“How long can we stay?”
Doug shook his head sadly. “Not very long, another five minutes. But visiting hours start up at eight in the morning. After that you can come in and stay with him for longer periods of time. And if he wakes up during the night I’ll call you.”
“Thank you,” Maura smiled softly.
The nurse nodded and moved to the entrance of the small room. “I’ll leave you alone, but I’ll just be right next door checking on my other patient if you need me.” Then he slipped away giving them some privacy.
Jason held his husband’s hand caressing it with his thumbs gently, following his Mother with his eyes as she leaned over the bed and placed a kiss on top of Nicky’s head. He prayed that maybe his Mother’s words would get through to his lover as she whispered to him.
“Hello Sweetheart, you know you’re worrying all of us,” Mrs. Sullivan murmured brushing gently at her son-in-laws dark hair. “We can’t have Christmas without you, so you need to wake up so we can all be together again.”
They both waited hoping that there would be some sign. Even just a small sigh or movement that showed that the little brunette was moving from his comatose state to a true sleep. They waited in vain as there was no change in the readings on the monitors, no change in Nicky’s breathing, not even a flutter of an eyelash to show a change in his status.
The soft clearing of a throat brought their attention to the doorway where Doug Russell stood apologetically to let them know that their time for the night was up. “I’m sorry, I know it’s never long enough,” told them sympathetically. “But you should go home and try to get some rest. Tomorrow will be here before you know it.”
Jason nodded silently and leaned down to kiss Nicky again. “I’ll be back first thing in the morning, Baby,” he said softly against the warm lips. His fingers sliding through the dark curls hoping one last time that his husband would wake up before he left the room.
Maura slipped her arm around her son and urged him away from the bed. She hated to do it because this was the first time in the last two hours that her oldest hadn’t worn the dazed lost look that took over his face when the accident happened. She knew the nurse needed to finish his duties with Nicky, though so she drew him out of the room thanking Doug with a smile.
“I’ll stay here in the lounge, Mom, if you’ll just bring me some fresh clothes,” Jason stated as they walked out of the ICU into the hallway that lead to where the family waited.
“No Jason,” Mrs. Sullivan argued. “You need to go home and get some rest. If you work yourself into exhaustion you won’t be any good to Nicky.”
“But Mom I need…”
“I said no, Jason,” Maura put her foot down green eyes snapping as she silently reminded her eldest who the parent was.
The big man sighed realizing that unless he wanted to be led out of the hospital by his ear, he had better give in quietly. His father and brother would be no help in this situation. When his Mother put on her ‘I’m the boss’ hat no one argued with her. Except for Jamie and he rarely won in the end.
“All right Mom, but please promise me we’ll be back here first thing in the morning,” he pleaded silver/gray eyes showing his desperation.
“Of course Sweetheart, we’ll be here before visiting hours I promise,” the older woman answered giving him a hug as the door of the lounge opened behind them.
*****