Coming To Grips

By

Cat

Copyright May 2001 © Cat

Disclaimer: The X-Files characters do not belong to me much I would like them to. They do belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and 20th Century Fox Television.

This work is not to be reproduced in any way without the express written permission of the author.

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Chapter One

*****

Acting Deputy Director Walter Skinner rolled over sleepily in his big bed, reaching out for his lover. Deputy Director Kersh had been removed from office and was now under investigation for working with the enemy, namely the Consortium or what was left of it.

The aliens still didn't officially exist, though Mulder and Scully now led a select team of 'alien hunters'. And a bigger group of skeptics Walter had never seen. Mulder was having a field day wiping out all their old preconceived notions and enlightening them to the realities of life.

The Director had asked Skinner to step into the other man's position until the situation was solved one way or another. She had intimated that no matter what the outcome of the investigation, Kersh was out and that they really wanted to give the AD the new position. But until the dust settled would he be the Acting Deputy Director. Skinner had accepted because it allowed him to better protect his agents.

When his large hand met nothing but open air and cold sheets he came wide awake. Looking around he saw that the forearm crutches were missing from their spot by the side of the bed. He stumbled out of the bed heading for the bathroom with an exasperated sigh thinking to find his young lover there. When he found the room empty he started to get worried.

Grabbing his robe he pulled it on as he headed out of the bedroom. He breathed a sigh of relief when he reached the stairs and wasn't greeted by a broken body lying at the bottom. But at the same time he felt his worry grow stronger. Hurrying down to the ground floor of the apartment he stopped in the living room door, feeling his heart beat slowly return to normal.

"Alex?" he asked softly, walking up behind where his lover sat. The younger man was staring out at the balcony. In the ten months that he'd been living with Skinner and Mulder in the Crystal City apartment, he had yet to get closer than three feet to the sliding doors.

"Hey," Krycek said not looking up at him.

"What are you doing down here?" Walter asked. He didn't ask how, he knew how. Alex didn't let anything stop him, not even being partially paralyzed. "Did you have another nightmare?"

The dark haired man nodded, his eyes still locked on the balcony doors.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" the AD asked, squatting down next to the wheelchair.

"You were tired, it was so late when you got in from the meeting last night," Alex shrugged.

"I'm never too tired to hold you Alex. You know I sleep better with you in my arms anyway," Skinner murmured, taking one of the younger man's cold hands in his. "You want to tell me what the nightmare was about?"

The brunette shook his head no, but the words came tumbling out anyway. "I was back on the balcony, hanging over the side. Only this time when I pulled the courier over he got a hold on my left arm."

Skinner massaged the palm of Alex's hand soothingly with his thumbs. He could feel the shivers running through his lover.

"The chain on the handcuffs snapped and we both fell, but he went first, taking my arm with him," Krycek finished softly.

Walter stood up and moved around the back of the wheelchair to loop his arms around the younger man hugging him from behind. "I'm sorry Alex, I can't ever tell you enough how sorry I am about that."

Whether it was for the night spent on his balcony or for the loss of the young man's arm in Tunguska or both Skinner didn't know. He was just sorry. Sorry they hadn't trusted him more, hadn't been able to see that he was fighting on their side, only from the inside.

Krycek shrugged. "It's okay, Walter. You didn't know. You didn't have any reason to trust me," he said softly. Then he changed the subject. "Fox is going to be home Friday, right, he said he'd be there, right?"

Skinner knew this was really the crux of the problem and probably what had brought on the nightmares recently. "He'll be here Alex, this is the last surgery. He wouldn't let you down."

Over the last twelve months the triple agent had undergone two painful surgeries on his spinal cord. This was the third and last, they hoped. The first one had simply been to stabilize and piece back together as much of the younger man's spine as possible and keep him alive. The second, after the swelling had gone down, had repaired more of the damage.

But Krycek hated going under the knife, hated being put under, unable to control what was happening to him. It was leftovers of the horrendous surgical job done on him at the ill-staffed hospital in Russia when he'd lost his arm. Even more than that though, were the frightening dreams he had while unconscious. More than once Alex had dreamed that he'd died while on the operating table.

Over the six months since the last surgery Alex had developed some feeling. The Doctors were hopeful that this last surgery would increase that feeling and maybe even put him back on the road to walking again. At his last therapy session the physical therapist had actually seen the tiniest movement out of his toes. Barely a shiver, but it was hope.

Walter looked at the digital display on the video machine. It was still early only five in the morning. It was his usual wake up time for the weekdays. But when Fox moved in with him almost two years ago he had stopped spending every weekend in the office, only going in when the other Agent was out of town on a case. After Alex had moved in with them he had stopped going to the office on the weekends at all.

Alex had talked, fought, screamed and even used those beautiful eyes and sweet lips to pout at him, trying to get Skinner not to stay home because of him. He could take care of himself, he proclaimed and didn't need the AD's help. Until Walter had finally convinced the young man that he was staying home because he wanted the private time with him. And finally Alex had accepted that.

"Why don't we go back up to bed? It's still early," Skinner murmured quietly in Krycek's ear. He ghosted a hand over the triple agent's bare chest. Alex nodded his assent and the bigger man smiled.

Walter slipped one arm under Alex's knees and the other carefully behind his back angling it for optimum support. The younger man reached up and put his arms around Skinner's neck.

Another surgery that Alex had had in the last year was for a new prosthetic arm. His was the first of its kind, he'd been the first human recipient, the guinea pig so to speak. Since then hundreds of people had undergone the surgery.

The new prosthesis wasn't really a prosthetic at all. With technology confiscated from the Consortium/Aliens and help from their Rebel allies, a technique for cloning body parts had been developed. Cells were cloned from the patient and only the missing body part was grown at an accelerated rate, not the whole human. Best of all, it bled regular red blood, not the caustic green blood found in the original cloned humans.

The surgical procedure to attach the new limb was long and painstaking even with the special equipment they'd gotten from the rebels. But in the end the patient had a perfect duplicate of the limb they'd lost. When all was said and done, all that was left was a small scar. The process was still in the developmental stages for organ transplant, but the Doctors were sure that it would be ready within the next year. Skinner was just glad that was one surgery Alex didn't have to undergo.

The big AD walked carefully up the stairs with his precious burden. The triple agent hated being treated like an invalid, he was too active and self reliant for the limitations that his paralysis had laid on his doorstep. Going down the stairs had been just one of the battles he'd fought with both his body and his lovers. He had refused to let Skinner move into a more wheelchair friendly home. Nor would he let him make modifications to the condo. He was bound and determined that they wouldn't be necessary for long and so were not needed at all.

The first time Walter had caught him easing himself down the stairs on his butt, the big AD had nearly had heart failure. He gave himself credit, he hadn't yelled or gotten mad. But then neither had Alex. The younger man had calmly sat there and told Skinner that he'd been doing it all week while the AD and Mulder had been at work. Then an hour before they were due home had gotten himself back up the stairs and into bed to be ready for them.

Fox had smiled wanly and then convinced him to let it be. Alex needed to feel independent. It didn't mean they didn't worry, it scared them both shitless to think of their lover on those stairs alone. But it worried them more, that if they smothered him that he would just leave. So instead they'd let him have this one act of independence and just continued to call him several times a day to make sure he was all right.

But sometimes, like now, Alex didn't mind being carried, the simple act showing to him how much his lovers cared. In the bedroom Walter stooped and laid the younger man in the center of the bed and then lay down behind him, spooning up close and wrapping his arms around him protectively. After a little while Krycek's breathing deepened and slowed signaling that he'd fallen asleep. Skinner continued to lay behind him quietly and let his mind drift back in time, to just over two years ago.

*****

Skinner grumbled under his breath as he stepped off the elevator on a secured floor of the Pentagon. He was angry about being called away from his office for the unscheduled and 'secret' meeting at the Pentagon.

An hour ago, his secretary Kim had shown a military attaché into his office. The man had silently handed the Assistant Director an envelope with the official presidential seal, motioning for Skinner to remain silent. The AD had opened the envelope to find a note instructing him to tell his secretary that he was leaving for the day. He was then instructed to accompany the attaché to the Pentagon for a secret meeting.

He followed the Colonel through the corridors, stopping often at different checkpoints to show his identification. Finally the attaché opened the door to a large conference room and ushered Skinner inside. A huge conference table dwarfed the room. Presentation folders lay in front of each chair.

Walter looked around the room, his eyes showing his surprise as he studied the thirty or so people present. He recognized the President's top security advisor, the Chief of Staff and several other top members of the cabinet and military. There were also several top scientists and members of several highly regarded think tanks. Then his eyes fell on someone he'd never have expected in a million years.

"Krycek," he growled and started across the room towards the young man.

He almost hadn't recognized him without his familiar black jeans and leather jacket. Instead the assassin was dressed in a black suit, similar to what he'd worn when he was working at the FBI. It was amazing how clothing changed the man. The suit made him look young and innocent and green as it had all that time ago.

Alex had looked up as he approached, and stepped back. A look of fear and something else flickered across the expressive face and the green eyes, before being replaced by an impenetrable mask of aloofness. Skinner felt his rage building.

"Assistant Director Skinner, if you would come with me," a voice caught his attention, as a hand landed on his arm.

Walter turned to growl at the person and stopped seeing the National Security Advisor looking at him. He nodded brusquely, glared at Krycek and then turned to follow the other man.

"Mr. Vice President," the AD said formally, as he was lead over to a small group of people at one end of the conference table.

The Vice President smiled in greeting and held out his hand. "Assistant Director Skinner, it's nice to finally meet you. I've read and heard a lot about you."

"Sir, you have a security leak in the room, Alex Krycek works... " Skinner began as he shook the other man's hand.

"For the Pentagon and the United Nations," the Chief of Staff stated firmly.

The big AD felt his eyebrows raising in astonishment.

"Yes, I know," the Security Advisor spoke up. "Your experience with him has not been pleasant and you thought he worked for the consortium. Actually he works for us. Has worked for us the last seven years, we recruited him right out of Quantico when we discovered the consortium had an interest in him too."

"He's been working for the Pentagon all this time?" Skinner questioned.

"Alex has been our man on the inside of the consortium. It's not been easy for him. Damn hard in fact," the Vice President told him. "There were a couple of times we thought he was going to quit on us."

"But how... why?" the Assistant Director looked at the men present in confusion.

"We've known about the consortium for a long time. We just didn't have enough proof to bring them down. Didn't know enough about the key players to be able to make a move on them," the Chief of Staff explained. "We kept trying to get people on the inside but they kept getting discovered, ending up dead."

"We finally realized that trying to get seasoned agents and soldiers inside wouldn't work. Then Alex came to our attention and the consortiums. Luckily we got to him first and convinced him to accept their offer, in order to really get information for us. For a while we thought you were a part of the consortium, but Alex assured us that you weren't," the Security Advisor informed him.

Skinner looked down at his feet for a moment, then squaring his shoulders he faced the men in front of him. "I was their puppet for a while."

"We know all about that," the Vice President assured him. "We also know why and how you broke the hold they had at the risk of your own life. We need more strong people like you in positions of power."

Walter accepted the praise silently, not sure that he truly warranted it or their trust.

"All will be revealed during this meeting Mr. Skinner. It's time for battle plans to be drawn," the National Security Advisor stated. "We want you to be a part of that."

"Honestly Agent Mulder -" the AD started.

"Is too much of a loose cannon. He'll be a key figure in all of this, but we are a bit more confidant in you and your steadier lead," the Security Advisor said with a small smile.

The AD allowed himself to be led to the conference table as the Chief of Staff called the meeting to order. He was surprised to be seated next to the Security Advisor with Krycek across from him next to the Chief of Staff.

"I'm sorry Skinner, I wanted to tell you a hundred times. But I couldn't, they were watching me all the time," Alex said quietly, looking across the table at the Assistant Director.

Walter nodded, but remained silent. His emotions were running rampant. He didn't know what to believe or what to feel anymore.

The meeting lasted until the small hours of the morning. The Security Advisor opened the meeting going over the information in the packets. Alex himself held the floor for a couple of hours, addressing the issues of the aliens, what he knew of their agenda, key players that were still at large and his covert meetings with the alien rebels. Skinner was surprised when he was asked to tell about his own dealings with Spender, the space ship in Oregon, Mulder's cases involving alien abduction and finally Mulder's abduction and subsequent return.

Scientists, who had been working on projects, using information supplied by Alex, gave brief updates on what they'd been able to learn and accomplish. At last they settled down to work out a plan of action against the remaining members of the consortium who had escaped the hanger debacle and the coming alien invasion.

Finally about three in the morning the Vice-President called a halt to the meeting, stating that they would get together again at a later date. For now everyone was to continue normally to allay any suspicions that might arise.

On his way out, Alex Krycek caught up to Skinner.

"I am sorry Skinner, sorry for everything," Krycek said as he walked along beside the older man.

The AD stopped and turned to look at Alex, his eyes unreadable. "I have to accept the fact that you were working undercover and that you had to play the role. But don't ask me for forgiveness, I don't think that I can give you that yet," he said bitterly then turned and walked away, leaving the triple agent staring after him sadly.