Erika FAQ

These are a pile of annoying questions that I've been asked over and over again by people I've known for a while and by people I meet for the first time. I am aware that they probably don't realise how tedious these questions (or behaviours are) and that I'm aiming a shotgun at their head while they're asking it.

Part One. Studies/Psychology.

"What are you studying?" or "What did you study?"

A Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, which is a 3 year degree. I spent 6 years doing it because I failed several times. This was because I was lazy and found the subjects either uninteresting or was more interested in socialising. I never graduated.

"Are you psychologising me?" or "Are you psychoanalysing me?" or any variant thereof.

No. If you're asking this question you are an idiot and don't deserve your measly brain. It shows that you know nothing about psychology and should go to read something other than popular psychology books for a change. If you read at all, that is.

"What do you intend to do with your degree?"

I have no idea. I chose the degree because I had to choose something, and now doubt very much that I will continue on with it. Whatever job comes my way is the one that I'll be doing. I do not intend to pursue graduate studies in psychology.

If you intend to talk to me about psychology because you went to some seminar/read some books on it:

Don't. I don't want to hear about it. You'll be boring and ignorant and I've heard it all before.

Part Two. Origins.

"Where are you from?" or "Where were you born?"

Australia.

"Where are your parents from?"

My father's from Wales and my mother's from Peru. Yes, it is an interesting combination. They met in a pub, swapped letters for some years, then got married.

"What's your accent?"

A combination of Welsh-English and my mother's accented English along with whatever influences Australia has had. I also lisp; that's all my own.

"Where did you get your nick?" or some question about it.

Long story: http://erika.owlrigh.cjb.net/nick.html
Short story: Owl = wise, sleeps not at night. Righ = ard'righ means "all ruler", Erika means "ruler". Put them together.

"Where did you get your name from?"

My parents named me after Erik Estrada, one of the guys from the TV show CHiPS.

Part Three. I've just told you I'm bi or hinted at it and you're …

… going off into a "I have a friend/sibling/friend of a friend who …"

Don't. I'm not interested. I don't know who they are, don't want to know who they are, and would rather be talking about something else.

… a guy and suddenly pointing out all of the hot chicks walking by or are talking to me about sex and you've never done this before.

Stop it immediately. Just because you find out that I like women does not mean that I want to be subjected to all sorts of crudity. Treat me the way that you did before, or I'm suddenly engaged elsewhere.

… propositioning me to a threesome or (if you're a straight/bicurious woman) wanting to experiment with me.

No. Go away. If I were interested in you in that way I would have made a pass ages ago.

Part Four. Other.

"What do you like about slash?"

I don't know. Next question.

"What's slash?"

You're probably better off not knowing.