Somewhere Two Hearts Are Pounding...

By E.C.

Fandom: OZ

Pairing: Tobias Beecher/Chris Keller

Archive: Peja, 'tis all yours...everyone else? Sure, just lemme know so I can gloat

Feedback: on list or private

(struttersuperior@aol.com/elizabeth@mother-superior.com)

Notes: The very, very first fic I ever posted on MakeBelieve (maybe one whole month ago! *gasp*) was SCIENCE FICTION DOUBLE FEATURE, from my DRIVE IN universe. This is a prequel, taking place much earlier on, but it might help to go back and read SFDF to familiarize yourself with these boys. The story in short: Chris and Toby have their first fight. Chris gets all insecure. Toby kisses it all better. *grin*

This one's a songfic..."It's Only Love" by Heather Nova done for the Oz Lyric Wheel...the song belongs to its writer, these boys belong to Fontana. Damnit.

 

Somewhere Two Hearts Are Pounding...
By E.C.
***********

"Motherfucker!" Chris growled, slamming the handlebars of his motorcycle as he came to a complete stop in the middle of the drive-in lot. Knocking the kickstand into place, he dismounted the machine and kicked at a large rock in his path, still fuming. Damn it, he didn't need a fight, not now...fucking Toby, that cocksucker. Who in the blue HELL did Toby think he was, talking to
Chris like he had?

//He thinks he's the man you love.// a voice in his head whispered. //He thinks that maybe you'll be straight with him when you're afraid.//

"I'm not fucking afraid." he told the voice aloud, rubbing a hand over his face as he stared out across the lot at row upon row of newly installed speaker poles. Before him, the pristine white wall of the new movie screen towered like a billboard testifying to the state of his life as of late.

A clean slate. A new start.

A second chance.

Chris reached into the pocket of his leather jacket and gingerly withdrew the small keyring his Aunt Stella had handed him earlier that day. Four keys looped onto Aunt Stella's second gift: the old COFFO'S logo bearing a new name.

KELLER'S DRIVE IN.

//Fuck.// Chris sighed silently, going over each little key once again.

Four in all: gates, snack bar, storage shed, and projection booth. Just one of the millions of things Aunt Stella had walked him through in the last couple of months through all the remodeling and legalities of handing over the "family business" to her only nephew.

An ex-con biker with a taste for handsome attorneys.

Toby. Shit, couldn't the blonde stay out of his head for more than five minutes?

Chris managed a small smile as his anger abated somewhat. Yeah, that was likely to happen...when pigs started sprouting wings. Toby was as necessary to Chris's survival as a shank was back in Lardner...it was corny as hell, but Toby was the air Chris breathed. That's how much he needed his lover, and he knew it was the same for Toby.

Chris sighed, curling his fingers tight around the keys. He walked forward a few steps, leaning against a nearby speaker pole and staring off into the midnight sky. Two hours ago they'd been at Chris's place, tangled together in bed when Toby had sprung the news on him: he was taking the kids for a weekend at the beach with his family and wanted Chris to come along. When he'd tried
to blow it off, that was when the fight began, leading to Chris pulling on some clothes and storming out to hop his bike and drive to the theater in the middle of the night.

He felt the slim blonde's presence long before he heard the soft crunch of gravel under feet, echoing like a shot in the deserted lot. The familiar rush of energy coursed through his blood, making his pulse quicken even as it sated that aching hunger he'd never known lived inside of him until the day he'd first gazed into those beloved sky blue eyes.

"This place is great for escapes."

Chris resisted the urge to turn towards the comforting warmth of the man at his side. "How you figure?"

"I used to use it myself when I was younger...when things got too stressful or I was just plain fed up, I'd come here and get away for a while. Double features were always the best, it meant I could be free just a little bit longer. The most pressing thing I'd have to think about was whether or not I needed more popcorn."

Chris snorted silently with laughter. "Don't forget those bathroom breaks...you always gotta go just when the movie's gettin' good."

"Tell me about it." Toby paused. "Gussie and I used to come together, then I started coming by myself a lot. It was the best way I had to deal with all the shit in my life...if I could get out of my head for just a little while, things would be easier to deal with when I came back to earth. When I headed off to Harvard, things got more stressful and a lot scarier, but going to a movie just didn't cut it anymore. That's when I started drinking."

Unable to resist the pull any longer, Chris turned his head to watch as Toby stood with his hands in his jacket pockets, staring ahead at the screen.

"They had drive in theaters around Harvard?" Chris asked with a small smile.

Toby returned the gesture, shaking his head. "Nope. Maybe that was it, maybe it was just this place...I don't know. Back then, away from home and trying to be everything my parents were expecting of me...stuff like that just didn't help anymore. I had nowhere to run...I just let everything build up inside until it seemed like the only way I could escape was diving into a bottle."

"Not anymore though, right?"

Toby shook his head. "Never again. I left that behind when I graduated...besides, I don't need booze now. I have you."

Chris's smile grew. "Yeah, you do, Toby...always."

"You have me, too, you know."

Chris tensed. He knew this was coming.

"What happened back at your place, Chris? Why do you have such a problem with this trip? Why don't you want to meet my family?"

"It's just...it's not my place to be there, Tobe. I'm not-"

"Yes, you fucking are." Toby spat. "What do I have to do to make you see, Chris?" Toby reached out to grab Chris by the back of the head and roughly pull him in for a kiss, tongue forcing its way past his lips to ravage him.

Chris couldn't fight his body's instinctive response to the kiss, couldn't stop his arms from snaking around Toby's waist to draw him close, couldn't keep his own mouth from surrendering to the will of the lawyer's sweet lips and wicked tongue.

"You tell me that doesn't prove it." Toby panted when oxygen deprivation finally forced them apart. "We're connected, Chris...we need each other. We're as much family as anything else. I'm your family...and you're sure as *shit* mine."

"Toby-"

"Is it because you don't want this? Tell me right now, and I'll walk away if you can't handle it. Tell me, Chris...do you want out? Do you wish I'd let go?"

"Don't...please." Chris rasped, his grip on Toby tightening as a desperate wave of panic surged through him. God, when did this happen? How in the world did Toby manage to make him so weak and so strong at the same time?

"Then what, Chris? You have to tell me. It seems like there's still a part of you I'm trying to reach...still a part I don't know." Toby pressed his forehead against Chris's, leaning in to rub their noses together affectionately.

"Let me in, baby...please."

Chris took a deep breath, shutting his eyes and struggling to find the words he needed. He hated that Toby felt he didn't own every single part of Chris when the reality was that he held the keys to everything. So many times in his life he'd been accused of being a monster with no heart, no soul...he was never too sure about the soul, but he knew he'd had a heart once. He didn't
anymore...it belonged to Toby.

"I'm...scared." Chris managed to whisper, so soft that Toby had to strain to hear him even in the silence of the lot. "What if your folks don't like me? I mean...they even know we're together, Tobe?"

"They know I'm with someone I love more than I ever even pretended to love Gen...and yes, they know I'm in love with a man. They were skittish at first, but they're reserving judgement until they meet you. Chris, you'll charm the pants off my mother in a heartbeat-"

"I'd rather charm yours off, baby." Chris drawled with a lecherous grin.

Toby smiled back. "Don't change the subject. She'll love you, and I know Dad will, too. You have nothing to worry about."

"Yes, I do." Chris replied fiercely, his expression sobering. He pulled away from Toby and spun around, walking away a few paces. He couldn't think straight with Toby's arms around him, with that beautiful mouth so close to tempt him. He needed a clear head. "Toby, you got no idea what all this is to me..."

"All what?"

"This! Coming back to town, Aunt Stella handing this place over to me...and you. Especially you, Toby." He turned towards the movie screen and pointed.

"You gave me that...a blank page, a brand new start. Don't you understand? I never had a second chance before...never." He paused, swallowing hard.

"I'm...I'm scared to death of fuckin' up. See, everything I ever got wrong in my life always stayed with me. I could never leave it behind until you. You made me clean. You loved me for what I am, not what I was. I couldn't live with myself if I got this wrong, too."

"I LOVE you." Toby corrected, coming up behind Chris and resting one hand on his shoulder. Chris's eyes screwed shut as he fought not to lean back into the touch and failed. "Get that straight right now, Chris. There is no past tense...only now. Only the future."

"You can't promise what you'll feel tomorrow, Tobe."

"Yes, I can. I met the rest of my life the day I met you, Keller."

Chris looked back at Toby sharply at those words. "Christ, Toby..."

Toby turned him the rest of the way around and held him close, his grip unyeilding. "I love you, Chris. I know it's only love...but love should make us strong. God knows it's made *me* stronger."

At that moment, Chris felt something inside him slip away as easily as he slipped into Toby's embrace, burying his face in the lawyer's shoulder and holding tight. He lost a measure of the hard-won control he'd always kept over himself, of the defenses that made sure no one could hurt him, ever. In that moment, Chris lost his doubt and KNEW, in his heart of hearts, that Toby was
right. Loving this man had changed Chris, made him better simply because he was valuable and precious in Toby's eyes.

"Now was telling me all that so hard?" Toby laughed softly against Chris's neck, making him shiver.

"Yes." Chris replied, drawing back to fall headfirst into the sky that lived in Toby's eyes. "What a challenge...honesty."

"Neat concept, isn't it? Who would've thought that pretending was easier?"

"Easier...but lonlier." Chris murmured, reaching up to cup Toby's face in one hand. He felt a thrill of desire when Toby's eyes fluttered shut, leaning his cheek into the caress like a cat.

"I love you, Toby." Chris whispered, not allowing the other man to answer as he claimed Toby's mouth with his own.

When they finally separated, Chris marveled at the wild desire that shone in Toby's face.

"Does that translate into 'I'm sorry for being such a shmuck?'" Toby asked breathlessly.

Chris nodded, his own passion making words nearly impossible.

"Me, too." he murmured, flicking his tongue out to swipe Chris's lower lip. "Wanna make up in the projection booth?"

"Uh-uh." Chris growled, leaning in to snap at Toby's nose in a playful bite. "Home."

"Gonna make it worth the wait?" Toby replied teasingly, hands slipping from Chris's hips to grip his ass as he ground his hard on against Chris's to punctuate his statement.

"Not if you keep that up, baby." Chris replied, stealing another kiss.

"And you don't wanna end this before it begins...ask any of my ex-wives: I may be a lousy husband, but I am a fucking *god* when it comes to make-up sex."

"You're a god when it comes to ANY kind of sex, Keller."

"Got me there." Chris grinned. "C'mon...you like double features so much? There's a special presentation waiting for you back at my apartment...I just hope you're in the mood for a thriller."


<The End>

**********
"It's Only Love"
by Heather Nova

Love...
I used to think that I knew what we needed
I just assumed we would always be fine
Now I don't think that we lost the feeling
But we, let everything build up inside

It's only love
But love.. should make us strong
It's only love
But love.. has been hurting so long

What a challenge, honesty
What a struggle to learn to speak
Who would've thought that pretending was easier

It's only love
But love.. should make us strong
It's only love
But love.. has been hurting so.. long

And it's all, a part of me
It tears at my heart only
Love..
And it's all, an eternity
Hoping to learn only
Love..

Love..

There's a part of you I'm trying to reach
Still a part I don't know
Tell me, is devotion a gift or a thief
Do you wish I'd let go

It's only love
But love.. should make us strong
It's only love
But love.. has been hurting so.. long

And it's all, a part of me
It tears at my heart
Only love
And it's all, eternity
Hoping to learn
Only love

Only.. Only love.. Love..
Only love.. Love..