LEXX vs Farscape
: In the BeginningBeta's Note/Warning: Please do NOT take the Bobs seriously in ANY way. This is all meant in good fun. If you feel, for some inexplicable reason, you must take offense, PLEASE! I BEG YOU! DO NOT flame Valdron. His retaliatory strikes tend to leave bloody body parts strewn across the internet landscape...
Summary: None.
In the Beginning
by Valdron
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Hi Ho, neighbors. I'm Jim Bob Turhok, here with'n my pals Billy Bob Truckstop and Bob Bob Roberts.
Howdey all!!!
Good to be back with you all, Jim Bob, Billy Bob!
Yes'm we are back here for the Ultimate Deathmatch, the duel to the death, in other words, between the respective crews of LEXX, of the TV show LEXX, and Moya, of the TV show, Farscape.
Well, I can hardly, that is to say, I can't hardly wait Jim Bob, but I must ask a question, interrogative like?
You may ask away, Billy Bob.
Thank you, Jim Bob. I am about to say, isn't this match going to be kind of, shall we say, shorter than polar bear season in Atlanta?
How you figure that, Billy Bob?
Well, it seems to me that what with the LEXX having itself a great big weapon, and in more than a purely biblical sense, I might add, and Moya basically being unarmed and all, isn't this going to be sort of a big swat?
Can I answer that, Jim Bob.
You may, Bob Bob.
Thank you. Well, the way I am figuring it, LEXX may be mighty potent, in a way that has nothing to do with anyone's baby jesus rising up for a sermon on the mount, but his aim, it is a bit off. So Moya, being the quick little filly that she is, she can probably dodge out real good.
Hardly sounds excitational to me, Gennelmen, Lexx shooting and Moya running.
Sounds like your last date, Billy Bob. Well, that thar is true, Gennelmen. But we has arranged to make things a touch more stimulational.
Do tell?
Whell, we is taking the crew members from each, and facing them off
against their opposing numbers, so as to see whut comes out on top.
Jim Bob, I craves your forgivenessing for my lack, that is to say, my paucity of faith.
Think nuthing of it Billy Bob. Bob Bob, as colour commentator, can you introduce our competitors and explain in your so succinctile way, them thar two shows?
No problem, Jim Bob. Ahem! First, we have LEXX. LEXX is produced in the former british colony of Canada, financed by Germans, and is a show about a crew of exscaped prisoners and misfits who run off with a giant biologicalike space ship. There's an annoying little critter, a couple of serious babes, a displaced warrior in black, a plant woman with supernatural powers and a guy in a red suit. They wanders around and are occasional like chased by a bad guy who's a renegade from thet evil empare.
Very good, Bob Bob. You has amazed with your perspicacity.
Thank you, Jim Bob. Ahem! Next we have Farscape. Farscape is produced in the former british colony of Australia, financed by Germans, and is a show about a crew of exscaped prisoners and misfits who run off with a giant biologicalike space ship. There's an annoying little critter, a couple of serious babes, a displaced warrior in black, a plant woman with supernatural powers and a guy in a red suit. They wanders around and are occasional like chased by a bad guy who's a renegade from thet evil empare.
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Uhm, Bob Bob.
Yes, Jim Bob.
Perhaps you could fill us in on some of them thar differences between the two shows.
Wasn't I doing that? Sorry. Well, LEXX is known for adult situations, racy humour, and big SF idea things. Whereas Farscape is known for big SF idea things, adult situations and racy humour.
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Uhm, Bob Bob. You can stop helping us any time now.
Certainly, Jim Bob.
Anyway, let us look at our respective crews: From LEXX we is going to have Kai, Stan, redheaded Xev, 790 and Lyekka and of course the LEXX.
Farscape is a might trickier, we is going to have Crichton, Aeryn, D'Argo, Zhaan, Chianna and Rygel. However, as Moya is going to need all her speed to cope with the awesome bugness of LEXX, we is going to pluck her, all temporal anomalywise...
Careful now, Jim Bob. Brannon Braga might be watching, and he has got monopoly of all them temporal anomalies for Star Trek.
Oops. Whell anyway, we is plucking Moya out of the timestream, from before she wuz all knocked up. We is thinking she might need all that agility and starburst stuff.
Hoo hee, Jim Bob. You has thought of everything.
Thank you, Billy Bob. Before we begin, I'd's like to offer thanks for the technical assistance offen our cousin Q Bob.
Q Bob? Is he related to Q Bert?
Nah, different cousin. We don't talk about him much cause he always jumping off some cliff. All them Bert family is a touch strange.
Gennelmen... be ready for the next post!!!
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END