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Peja's Wonderful World of Makebelieve Import
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2020-11-04
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Baby Oh Baby

Summary:

A pregnant and bored Blair ends up entertaining the guys at Poker night.

Work Text:

A/N: This is for Frye Faerie, who requested a story to cheer her up. Hope this helps.

 

Blair sat down on the couch and let out a mighty sigh. There were lots of reasons for the sighing. Not only was he happy to sit down, owing to his being over 8 months pregnant, but he was bored. Bored, bored, bored.

He was having a tough time getting comfortable this far into the pregnancy and so, Blair had taken to waddling around the loft. Yes, Jim had assured him he looked cute, but let's face it...waddling like a stuffed duck just *couldn't* be that cute.

The baby chose that moment to give a mighty kick. Blair winced and soothed the silky material of his shirt over his abdomen.

"I'm sorry, angel. I'm not grousing at you." The child inside his body seemed to calm down at her mommy/daddy's voice.

Blair was sincerely glad that, at least, this part of the pregnancy was taking place in the spring. That meant going barefoot and that meant he didn't have to worry about getting his shoes on. The young man couldn't bend over enough to tie a pair of shoes and wasn't able to see over his tummy enough to slip on a pair of loose slippers either. Fortunately his long pants covered up most of his feet, so nobody could tell he was going without. 'Not that anybody would care,' he thought with a mental roll of his eyes.

Unable to sit still, Blair decided to get up and brush his teeth. They didn't really need it, since he had brushed them after breakfast just two hours ago, but at least it was something to occupy his time.

Blair finished brushing his teeth and looked at himself critically in the bathroom mirror. He turned his head from side to side and straightened his kimono, the one that had been a present from Naomi. The image that reflected back wasn't too bad, he decided. The royal blue Japanese kimono covered him well, but was loose enough to be comfortable. The same could be said for his silky, black Oriental exercise pants. They were the kind of trousers that people wore when they were practicing their martial arts.

"Or Sumo wrestling," Blair snorted, patting his oversized stomach.

He wandered out of the bathroom and glancing around with another deep sigh, the grad student walked in to the small bedroom under the stairs. Until he and Jim had gotten married it had been Blair's rabbit hutch of a room. Now, the small room was stuffed to capacity with his and Jim's bed. The much larger bed had been moved downstairs during Blair's fourth month in the pregnancy when he had stumbled on the stairs. Jim had almost had a heart attack when he'd come home from the station and seen the bruise on Blair's chest from where he'd fallen against the railing. Quite frankly, Blair hadn't been too thrilled either when he'd almost fallen off the side of the stairs, so moving downstairs hadn't bothered him at all.

"Well, that took up another two minutes of my life," he groused as he sat down on the edge of the impeccably made bed. The covers were super smooth and the corners so razor sharp that Blair was afraid to touch them for fear of being cut. Naturally, Jim was the one who had made the bed. Bending over that much would have been next to impossible for the pregnant man, besides which, he could never make the bed precisely enough to meet Jim's exacting, ex-military, standards.

"Maybe I'll work on that article I've been writing on," Blair mused as he stood and straightened the covers back down. There wasn't much of an impression from his butt on the comforter, but he knew that his Sentinel lover would spot it immediately.

Blair walked back in to the main room and let his eyes wander over to his closed and silent laptop. It was tempting, very tempting, but he was too antsy to sit still that long. Besides, the attractions of the Mimbali Mud People and their ancient homes didn't appeal at the moment.

He stepped out on to the balcony and sat down on one of the lounge chairs. The observer sank down into the soft cushions, closed his eyes and tilted his head back. His curly brown hair fell back in a wave down on to his shoulders. Since getting pregnant, Blair hadn't wanted to cut his hair and it was getting fairly long. The younger man was seriously considering leaving it this long, because...woah, Jim *loved* to run his fingers through the tresses and Blair *definitely* loved the extra attention his longer hair generated.

The sun slid behind a few clouds, leaving the day warm but not overly bright; just perfect for lounging outside. Blair smiled as a soft breeze rolled over him.

"Ahhhhh, this is what we needed, isn't it little one?" He patted his tummy softly. From inside, his daughter gave a gentle kick, patting him back just as softly. Blair grinned. "Yes, it is."

++++

At the station, Jim was fighting the urge to call Blair to check up on him. The Sentinel eyed the phone and was actually reaching for the instrument when common sense took over. He'd already called Blair three times today and it wasn't even noon yet. The detective decided to give his lover a break and wait until lunch time to call again.

Simon snickered and Jim looked up to see that, not only had his boss come out of his office to watch him, but most of his fellow detectives had left their duties to come over to add their laughter at the situation.

"Jim, Jim, Jim. You're going to stare that phone to death in a minute," Simon said with a grin. Jim's death glower only made him smile even bigger. "Calm down Ellison. Blair's fine. Trust me, he's not the only person to ever be pregnant before."

They all thought about Officer David Henderson's wife who was almost six months along. It was their third child, but the older officer was still anxious. Henri Brown, H for short, had to turn away so he wouldn't be seen laughing when, across the room, Dave picked up the phone to check on his wife.

Joel Taggart, captain of the bomb squad, nodded sagely. "No, that's true. Blair and," he waved towards Henderson, "Emily aren't the only people ever to be pregnant." He cocked his head at H. "Neither was your sister." Brown stopped laughing as he thought about all the times he had checked up on Dianna when she had been visiting him. Joel turned to Simon and gave him a knowing look. "And just how many times did you call Joan when she was pregnant with Daryl?"

Simon ran a hand over his short hair and ducked his head. His face flushed in embarrassment as he remembered Joan telling him that she was getting in trouble at work because of all the phone calls. He had insisted that she take a leave of absence, because if her employer hadn't understood his need...to check...up on his...uhm, pregnant wife....

The captain cleared his throat self consciously. "Alright, everybody back to work!" The other detective's scattered. Some were still smiling, but this time they were remembering other reactions, their own or some of their friends, to gestating loved ones. Jim, who had ignored the discussion almost from the beginning, and certainly had after Joel began defending him, gave in to temptation and picked up the phone.

++++

"Ouch!" Blair jumped back with a yelp and rubbed his stomach. This was the second time he'd almost burned himself. He glared at the hot stove in a most intimidating manner. "Stupid stove."

Looking at the pot of chili he was stirring and the front of his kimono, Blair considered the logistics of the situation. He turned sideways and sidled up to the stove. 'Like an overgrown crab,' Blair thought with a giggle. The angle was awkward, but he could still reach his cooking and not get burned.

Success!

Blair grinned as he gave the chili a final stir with his long handled wooden spoon. "It's too bad I didn't think of that earlier," he muttered. Of course, now the strange angle that he was standing at made his back ache something fierce.

The anthropologist reached out a hand for the lid to the pot and accidentally knocked it to the floor. Blair rolled his eyes.

"Oh wonderful. Just what I needed."

He tried to lean over, but that didn't work. There was waaaaay too much baby between him and the floor. Blair took hold of the oven door handle with one hand and tried to squat down enough to reach the lid with the other hand. That didn't cut it either and made his back twinge. Alright, let's be honest...it hurt like hell. Finally, Blair used the blunt end of the broom handle to try and hook it in the lid, in the part where your hand slid inside. All that did was shove the lid partway under the edge of the stove.

"What are you doing, Chief?"

Blair let out a cry and spun around, automatically planning to defend himself and his unborn child. People had been known to attack him in their home, after all. Jim caught his lover around the waist when he stumbled.

"Oh...J-Jim." Blair dropped the broom and clutched at Jim's upper arms. "Oh...crap, you scared me."

"I'm sorry, Chief." Jim frowned as he listened to Blair's racing heartbeat. He'd been frowning for a couple of minutes now. Coming up in the elevator, the Sentinel had smelled some of Blair's wonderful chili. At first he'd been thrilled; they all liked Blair's cooking, after all, and this way they wouldn't have to order out for some take out food.

But then he'd gotten upset. Blair wasn't supposed to be exerting himself. The closer he'd come to the loft door, the more upset Jim had become. And then to come in and see Blair doing some kind of gyrations in the kitchen...he'd just been about to have a fit...

'Then I managed to almost scare him to death,' Jim thought to himself. 'Good going, Ellison.'

"Come on, babe. Let's sit you down."

Jim kept an arm wrapped around Blair's waist and led him over to one of their sofas. Blair didn't protest and leaned his head against the taller man's shoulder. Jim could hear that his lover's heart rate and breathing were evening out.

"Man...you're early." Blair leaned his head back against the sofa cushion and sighed. This time though, the sigh was one of relief. "Aren't you?" he asked with a frown and tried to peer around his larger lover to see the time.

"No, I'm not early." Jim glanced at his watch and realized that in his enthusiasm to get back to Blair, he was *fairly* early. "Well, not that much anyway."

"Come on, you need to lay down. Uh huh, don't argue." Jim put one hand behind Blair's back and lifted Blair's legs with the other. In one smooth motion, the pregnant man was lying down on the couch. Blair squirmed a little, until his back was more comfortable and smiled up at his lover.

"How are you two doing?" Jim brushed some curls out of Blair's eyes and patted his stomach gently. Blair winced and Jim caught it. "What's wrong?"

The Sentinel carefully parted the front of Blair's kimono and scowled at the red marks on Blair's tummy. "What happened here?" Jim felt like he was asking a lot of questions and not getting very many answers.

"Oops." Blair looked at the sore spots. "I got too close to the stove a couple of times. Oh," he paused and blushed a little, "I, uh, dropped the lid for the chili and was trying to pick it up. That's what I was doing with the broom."

Jim smiled at his lover. It amazed the Sentinel that with all Blair had seen and done, he could still blush so innocently. He leaned over and kissed Blair gently on the lips. "I'll be right back."

He was back with two wash cloths almost immediately. One was wet with cool water and the other cloth was dry. Jim placed the wet rag over Blair's burns and then the dry one on top to keep Blair's shirt dry.

"Tell Simon that he can put the beer in the extra coolers," Blair said sleepily.

Jim flicked a glance into the kitchen. Naturally, he had heard when Simon arrived. The big captain had unwedged the pot lid from under the edge of the stove and found another one to place over the chili. The older man was looking for a place to put the beer he'd brought in the refrigerator and muttering to himself. The Sentinel dialed up his hearing to see what was wrong.

"Damn," he heard almost silently. "Look at all this. The kid must have worked for hours getting this ready." Simon shut the door and shook his head. "That kid is going to be the death of us all. Making us worry..."

At this, Jim dialed back down. He looked over at his lover and realized that Blair had fallen fast asleep. Ellison pulled the colorful afghan off the back of the couch and covered his husband up.

Jim shook his head. "Yep, making us all worry."

++++

Blair woke up slowly. He was so comfortable where he was laying that Blair was tempted to just close his eyes and go back to sleep. Muffled voices and something clinking pulled him the rest of the way awake and Blair decided to investigate.

He moved the blanket out of the way and sat up. Not that sitting up on a soft couch was an easy feat, not in his condition, but Blair managed by gripping the back of the couch tightly and pulling up and shoving against the cushions with the other.

Sometimes Blair wondered if Jim made him lay on the comfy sofa just because he *couldn't* get up easily. Actually...he was right. Ellison figured that was one way to keep the hyperactive young man still long enough for him to rest.

Peering over the back of the sofa, Blair had to grin. The whole Poker Night gang was here: Simon, Joel, H, Rafe, and of course, Jim. What was amusing was that they were playing poker and eating as quietly as they could. That group of men was normally boisterous and very vocal when they were together and the fact that they were trying to be quiet, presumably so they wouldn't disturb Blair, was amusingly sweet.

"Hey guys."

"Chief." Jim held out his arm and Blair slid into place against his side. The Sentinel stayed in his chair, one arm wrapped around the back of Blair's thighs as the younger man stood beside him.

The other men waved and/or said their greetings. The degree of vocalization depended on who was eating at the time.

"Great chili," Rafe said after he'd swallowed.

Blair laughed. "Are you sure? It's kind of hard to see it."

Rafe grinned and nodded his head in acknowledgement. There were so many different condiments on his food that the chili was completely concealed.

The grad student leaned over and laid his head on top of Jim's and closed his eyes. He let the talk of his friends wash over him. It was nice to belong somewhere and know that he had friends and family beside him. Blair was certain that even if he and Jim were to break up, that the other men would still stay friends with him. The idea of he and Jim breaking up or, let's admit what he was thinking, of Jim dying, was so upsetting that Blair's grip on Jim tightened convulsively.

"Chief?"

Blair smiled at Jim and then at the rest of the party who were watching with concern. He was determined not to ruin the mood of the gathering or let his rapacious hormones run away with him. "I'm hungry. Did you guys leave anything for the cook?"

"Yes, we certainly did. Of course, you made enough for an army." Jim stood up and followed Blair over to the counter. "Let me get that for you." He looked pointedly at all the bowls of toppings by the stove, but didn't say anything. There were, he knew, twenty seven different bowls sitting there. Blair knew that the Sentinel would have plenty to say later though about all the work that Blair had put into preparing the repast.

There were bowls of cheese, three different kinds, four bowls with onions in them, green, white, Vidalia and red. Sour cream was laid out, as were tomatoes and jalapeno peppers. Bowls with different kinds of cooked beans were to one side. Blair had more spices that people could add. Some were garden variety, like chili powder and cayenne pepper, but others had been specially sought out, like the Peruvian ones just for Jim. No one's taste buds would be denied, no matter if they wanted the mildest chili ever to a bowl full of lumpy fire.

Sitting beside this bounty were boxes of crackers, round and saltine. There were two pans of cornbread sitting on the stove. One had jalapenos and the other was plain.

Silently, Blair realized that he might have gone overboard. The way Jim was muttering, he figured the Sentinel agreed with him. But at least it had made the boring day pass a little quicker

"Where do you want to sit, Hairboy?" Brown asked. H started to move so Blair could sit on Jim's right side and Simon had raised an enquiring brow, wondering if he wanted to sit on his husband's left side.

"That's okay." He waved them down. "I think I'll sit the game out tonight."

"Great!" H said with a grin. "Maybe we'll have a chance now."

++++

"Are you sure?" Jim asked softly. He didn't like the idea of Blair being excluded from the fun.

"Yes. There's a program on TV that Greg made me promise to tape and try to watch."

"Alright. Well, go sit down then and I'll bring you a tray."

"In the living room?" The astonishment on Blair's face wasn't faked. No eating in the living room was like, rule #3 in Jim's book.

"Yes, the living room."

Jim turned him around and gave a gentle push to the middle of his back. Blair let himself be sent in to the other room. The Sentinel loaded a tray with a medium full bowl of chili, a slice of plain cornbread and a few of the milder toppings. Blair had been plagued with heartburn the last couple of months and besides which, he wasn't that fond of really hot food anyway. There was also a small salad that he had found in the refrigerator.

"Do you mind if I miss out on the game?" Blair asked when Jim sat the tray across his lap. It was one of those wooden ones that didn't actually touch you anywhere. It was a good thing they had these trays because the baby had taken up all of Blair's lap.

"No, I don't mind." Jim knelt down beside the couch. Greg, Blair's friend, was another anthropologist and Ellison figured that the show he wanted Blair to see was a boring documentary.

"If you need anything, just yell." Jim made sure the glass of iced tea was situated safely and then headed back to the game, leaving Blair to watch his show.

++++

"Oh...no!"

Jim spun around at Blair's soft exclamation and was on his feet and out of the room before the others could move. Even in his worry, Jim wryly thought of the scene in the old Dick Van Dyke show where Rob practiced jumping out of bed, so he'd be ready when Laura had the baby.

He wasn't the only one to hear Blair though. In the half an hour that they had kept playing since Blair went back into the living room, the Sentinel had noticed their friends glancing into the other room on several occasions.

Ellison raced into the other room, with Simon and company clustered behind him. One quick look at his husband showed Jim that nothing was wrong with him or the baby. Jim slumped in relief and out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other men do the same. Blair was so wrapped up in whatever had upset him that he hadn't even noticed five rather large men running in to the room.

The younger man was watching the television screen, his mouth was hanging open and one hand was held up, partially covering his blushing face. On the screen was what looked like a poster for the movie, Raiders of the Lost Ark. However, the face had been altered and Blair's likeness was there instead and the title had been changed to *Indiana Sandburg*.

Jim shared a delighted grin with Simon. This was waaaaay too good to miss. Joel, Rafe and H looked equally smug.

Blair glanced back at his friends and covered his face with a groan. Jim handed Blair's dinner tray to Rafe, who took it into the kitchen. Jim sat down beside his lover while the rest of their friends sat down to watch the story.

"Welcome everyone to tonight's show." Greg, the tall, blond, friend of Blair's smiled back from the TV. A quick glance showed Jim that this story was coming out over the University station. Another look assured him that Blair *was* still taping this.

"We are going to present you with a documentary of one of our own TA's, Blair Sandburg. As you all know, Blair is on maternity leave, but since he is so missed at school, a few of his friends decided to show you all a different side of the *mild mannered* teacher."

Blair slid down on the couch. Jim took hold of his arm firmly and tugged him back up. Sitting like that would be murder on Blair's already bothersome back. Jim slid closer to his husband though and slipped a supportive arm around his shoulders. Even though Jim was dying to see what was so embarrassing, he wasn't going to let his husband face it alone.

The scene on the television changed to a fairly shaky image that was obviously taken on a hand held video camera. "As you all know, Blair is afraid of heights."

"Oh, heavens!" Blair exclaimed and reached out for the remote. H, who was faster on the draw since he had less of a tummy to negotiate around, beat him to the punch and grabbed up the black rectangle before Blair could stop the entertainment.

"However, he never let that stop him," Greg narrated.

A *very* young Blair could be seen walking ahead of whoever had been taping him. The budding Guide, probably about 16 or 17, started out over a very shaky and extremely rickety looking rope bridge. Jim could see the terror on Blair's face and dialed up his hearing. Over the crackling of the recording, Blair's much higher voice kept reassuring himself that everything would be alright.

'His voice is still changing,' Jim thought in horror.

"I-I thought you said that rope bridge story was an obfuscation," Joel stated.

"It was." Blair cleared his throat. "That bridge was, uh, really a lot higher than I said." Blair gave a nervous smile. "And, you know, I crossed it, but I didn't really get over my fear of heights."

They all turned back to the screen. A different tape and a slightly older Blair could be seen facing a large group of angry looking men.

"Not even a warrior tribe of headhunters in the middle of Africa can daunt our intrepid anthropologist."

"Headhunters?!" Jim gasped.

"Af-Africa?!" Joel stammered.

Blair tried to scoot himself down into the couch again, but Jim's arm kept him anchored in place. "Yeah." He laughed nervously. "Headhunters in Africa. And I was plenty daunted, let me tell you," he murmured. "Luckily they thought long hair was a sign that a person was a holy man or let me tell you, I wouldn't be sitting here now."

Jim watched as the young and very skinny man/child version of his lover pulled off a hat and masses and masses of curly hair tumbled out. The tresses hung almost to Blair's butt and had the headhunters dropping to their knees in supplication. The young man turned and gave his friends a shaky smile.

The men from Major Crimes were stunned into silence. To them, Blair had always been a rather geeky student, an innocent, who didn't know the first thing about surviving on his own, and had never been in mortal danger until he joined their exclusive group. They were learning differently.

"Even times of play weren't always safe," Greg continued, smiling all the while. "For instance, at the Great Barrier Reef..."

Blair looked over at Jim and winced. The Sentinel felt his heart drop. What could be worse than the headhunters? Sharks apparently. Three of them, to be exact.

The awed group watched as Blair, one with shorter hair this time, surfed the Great Barrier Reef. That in itself was inspiring enough, but as they were watching the video, the fins of *several* sharks could be seen. They quickly surrounded the young surfer and followed him as a panicked Blair beat them to the shoreline.

Blair squirmed as the documentary went on. Jim was aware of the stunned looks their friends were giving Blair. Who had any idea that Blair had been in danger so many times? Quite frankly, Jim had always assumed that Blair's stories were just that, stories; ones to inspire people, like the bridge one had done Joel that time.

"...and that concludes our first installment of Indiana Sandburg. Next time, I'll show you some of the *really* scary footage." Greg's smiling image faded and the revised poster filled the screen.

Nobody said anything for a while and then Joel broke the ice. "Uh, I didn't know that hippopotami attacked like that." Joel was referring to another horrific moment in Blair's life.

"Uhm, yeah they can."

This time Jim let Blair sink down a little. He was obviously feeling overwhelmed by the way their friends were looking at him. And speaking of looking...

Blair was plainly exhausted. He had gone overboard about the chili and even his little nap had only partially recharged his energy.

Jim gave a quick look at the guys, who started making noises about going home. Blair started to protest, looking over his shoulder at the abandoned game.

"Sandburg, I've got to tell you, that was the most entertaining movie I've seen in a long time." Simon patted Blair on the shoulder. "Scary as all crap, but good."

Blair smiled up at the captain and Jim gave his commander his own thankful smile. On the way out the door, Rafe could be heard complaining, "I don't even know how to surf." This made Blair snort into his closed hand.

Ellison stood in front of Blair for several seconds before the younger man realized he was there; his eyes had been unfocused, staring at the far wall uncomprehendingly. When Blair noticed Jim waiting he gave a tired grin.

"Sorry, Jim, I was just wool gathering."

Jim reached out his hands and helped Blair to stand up. "Wool gathering, huh? I hope that doesn't mean there's an *attacked by rapid sheep* story out there."

Blair laughed and let Jim lead him into their bedroom and down onto the bed. "What about the mess in the kitchen?" He asked drowsily.

"Don't worry, Chief. I'll take care of it, you just rest."

"Okay."

Jim flicked out the light and looked back one last time to make sure Blair was covered up. He frowned and took one step back in to the room and smoothed a rucked up place on the comforter. For some strange reason, it reminded him of a butt.

As Jim was heading towards the kitchen, he wondered what Blair was laughing about.

The End.