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24 Golden Girl Ficlets by Lopaka Tanu [ - ]
Summary:

Warning: Do not eat or drink anything when reading these. Several are unbetaed as they were written over a period of seven days.
For all those Golden Girl fans who didn't get enough crack when the show was on.


Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction
Characters: None
Genres: General
Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None

Loose Lips Sink Ships by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRAO starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Prompt: 1 Allergic Reaction
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults.
Summary: Hey you, suckie suckie for five dolla?
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: None
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 582
Published: 01/28/08 Updated: 01/28/08
Adventures of Monkey Boy and Moron Girl by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRT starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Prompt: 2 Amputation
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults.
Genre: Humor
Summary: Rose at her best.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 778
Published: 01/28/08 Updated: 01/28/08
Up, Up and Away! by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRAO [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 3 Broken Bone
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: It's okay, I still had a lovely time.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 960
Published: 01/28/08 Updated: 01/28/08
Just One of The Guys by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRAO [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 4 Bruises
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: Sophia should have known, Dorothy always did like sports.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 563
Published: 01/29/08 Updated: 01/29/08
Death's Apprentice by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRAO [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 5 Cancer
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Dark Humor - Alternate Reality
Summary: Rose has a special ability, she makes dead people.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: AU, Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 816
Published: 01/29/08 Updated: 01/29/08
You Give Me Fever by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 6 Cold/Flu/Fever
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Sick of listening to Blanche complain Dorothy has some fun.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 895
Published: 01/29/08 Updated: 01/29/08
Some Sense Into Her by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 7. Concussion
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Slaps to the head have a cumulative effect.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 687
Published: 01/29/08 Updated: 01/29/08
Your Little Dog Too! by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 8. Crushing Injury
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Sophia helps Dryphus move.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 600
Published: 01/30/08 Updated: 01/30/08
Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 9. Drowning
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Blanche soup.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 295
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Close Encounters of the Weird Kind by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 10. Electric Shock
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Dorothy answers the question 'are we alone'.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 238
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Cold Weather Indicators by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 11. Frostbite/hypothermia
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Blanche has a bad experience with ice.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 527
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Salem, Minnesota by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 12. Heat exhaustion/stroke
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor.
Summary: Dorothy meets a few of Rose's relatives.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 530
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Me, Myself, and I by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 13 Infection
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor - Alternate Reality.
Summary: Normal people reproduce through sex.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Rose Nylund
Genres: General Warnings: AU, Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1065
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Don't Rock the Boat by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 14 Minor annoyances - papercut, hangnail, stubbed toe, motion sickness
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: The Caribbean Cruise from Hell.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 568
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Stroke it by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 15 Neurological disorder - epilepsy, spinal cord damage, stroke, migraines, clinical depression.
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: That does it!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 485
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Stan the Man by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 16 Puncture/Laceration - bullet wounds, stabbing, impalement
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: A slight detour over to Stanland.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Stan Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 619
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Mama Mia! by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 17 Psychological trauma
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: Dorothy is traumatized.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls
Categories: The Golden Girls, slash fiction Characters: Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Sophia/f
Genres: Slash Warnings: f/f, femslash, Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 479
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Super Hero AU by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 18 Sensory loss/impairment
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor - Alternate Universe
Summary: The girls get super powers at a special cost.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: AU, Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1903
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
A Leper His Spots by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 19 Skin disorders - boils, pox, rash, poison ivy...
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: Side tracked, nature calls.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Rose Nylund
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 667
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Not With a Whimper, But With a Snore by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 20 Sleep disorders - sleep dep, narcolepsy, jet lag, snoring
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: We all gotta go sometime.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 437
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Shut it! by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 21 Sprained or Strained muscle
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: Blessed Silence.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 271
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
You Were Warned by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 22 Surgery (routine) - tonsils, appendix, plastic surgery
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: Dorothy and Stan: a love story.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Stan Zbornak
Genres: General Warnings: Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 247
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Ho, Ho, Ho by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM [Reviews - 0]
Summary: Prompt: 23 Writer's Choice - Shattered Illusions
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: It's the most wonderful time of the year.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Rose Nylund
Genres: General Warnings: HolidayFic, Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 240
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
Sudden Death by Lopaka Tanu Rated: FRM starstarstarstarstar [Reviews - 1]
Summary: Prompt: 24 Writer's Choice - Multiple Deaths
Claim: General Golden Girls
Rating: Mature Adults
Genre: Humor
Summary: The Waiting Room in heaven is packed.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Golden Girls.
Categories: The Golden Girls, general fiction Characters: Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Rose Nylund , Sophia Petrillo
Genres: General Warnings: Character Death, Humor
Challenges: None
Series: 24 Golden Girl Ficlets
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 466
Published: 02/01/08 Updated: 02/01/08
 

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