The Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway
Captain’s Personal Log:
I knew that he was watching me as I slept. Chakotay’s stare had a near physical weight to it. The gaze brushed over my face with a light, feathery touch lingering on my lips. I wondered about his restlessness. He had not slept very well all night. This was surprising considering the hellacious sexual encounter we’d been through. The Commander had never been more rough or insatiable. My brain shut down from exhaustion before the last waves of the dozeneth orgasm rippled through me. His stirrings awoke me several times during the night, but my lids were too heavy -- my body too leaden to fully wake. It was nearly time for my shift to begin. My natural rhythms kicked in and willed me to rise. I sighed then smiled.
"Why aren’t you as spent as I?" I murmured before opening my eyes. When my gaze met his, I got my answer. "Does your tribal name mean ‘Iron Man’ or ‘One who can ejaculate for eons?'"
A smirk tugged at one corner of his mouth before he kissed me. His tongue was as urgent as when it first danced with mine eight hours before. I broke from his mouth.
"Chakotay... wait..." I pressed against his chest with both my hands. It was a breathless plea. He knew I was already warmed and ready for him. Little persuasion would be necessary, but I wanted to try to get some answers.
"You seem intent on wringing something from me," I gasped, "What?"
Chakotay said nothing. His gaze held mine and took on an odd sort of intensity. A familiar headiness washed over me. The feeling was one I’d had before, but my sleepiness and arousal made it hard to pinpoint. The Commander dived for my lips again. My arms buckled under his weight. I whimpered beneath his steamy kiss and arched my pelvis to receive him.
Work was difficult. I was sexually sated and physically spent. Concentration was going to take all the will I had from the cell level up. Kim and Paris were extremely amused at my condition. I quelled that with a hard stare in each of their directions. I busied myself with overseeing in-depth diagnostics of the sensor array.
That helped for a while. Then, I felt that same restlessness emanating from the Commander’s chair. That just couldn’t be. He couldn’t want more. His dick had to be raw from the friction. It had to be. For a while, I ignored him. Then, there were some reports on which I had to give comment.
We went over the padd and I gave my take on his analysis. I tumbled into his gaze for a moment. The heat warmed my face like a hot summer sun. I suddenly understood what was in his eyes. I’d seen that look and felt it’s meaning. Chakotay was appraising my will and considering how to subdue it. I blushed before him like a postulate. To make matters worse, I knew Kim and Paris caught the exchange.
"Mr. Chakotay, we need to discuss this further," I said smoothly. "Let’s adjourn to the Ready Room. Mr. Tuvok, you have the con."
I wasn’t looking at him when the door closed.
"You promised me," I said quietly.
"I know, I know," he replied. "It’s just that I had no idea how your submission would affect me. For the first time, I really understood the Mistress, I understood the addiction... I understood your control over yourself -- not just the Circle."
"You want more," I said. There was an accusation in my voice.
"You want more," he replied. The tone was sure, but devoid of arrogance.
"I can have no Master," I said.
"I don’t want that, Kathryn," Chakotay said. "I want to indulge your fantasies and mine."
Chakotay made me look at him. He touched my face gently. "The Mistress is part of you. I understand the allure of being your submissive. I thought that I understood the allure of the dominant. But there is so much more than the power. I want to explore that with you."
He had the stare. I was frightened of how much he would try to make me yield. I didn’t want to battle him. There would be nothing left for us at the end.
"Have you lost your taste for exploring, Kathryn?" he murmured. "Isn’t that what the Circle is about?... Safe and private exploration of boundaries. Between you and me alone."
I was so wet. The Commander stepped toward me.
"Shall we begin, Kathryn?" he said.
"You want to begin," Chakotay said quietly.
He considered me for a long moment. I felt like screaming.
"When I leave the room, you will remove your panties and bra," he said. "You know they are causing you discomfort. Do we begin?"
I had to know. Chakotay had been so good at subduing me on Vaak 4. As much as I had wanted to leave that place, parts of the experience had ended far to quickly.
"Yes, Chakotay," I whispered. "We begin."
"Very well, then." Chakotay said. He left me. I removed my underwear with trembling hands.
Concentration was not any easier, but the fatigue had evaporated. I was highly self aware, but the demeanor was very different from that of the Mistress. I felt like a young postulant blushing easily, unable to meet the eyes of the Commander and waiting with high anticipation for the end of the day.
I ate very little. Basically, I pushed the food around the plate for a while. I was keenly aware of my nipples brushing against my uniform and the seams of my crotch were torturing my clit. It was very had to swallow. I went to my quarters and paced. What was I getting into here? Why couldn’t I stop it? My heart was pounding painfully. A near panic washed over me. I started for the door. Chakotay was on the other side. I stepped backward as he entered the room. He was carrying a small rectangular case.
"You were going to run," he said quietly.
"Yes... no... I’m not sure..."
He looked me over carefully.
"Why didn’t you change out of your uniform?"
I was dumbstruck for a moment. I felt the blush blaze across my face. "You didn’t tell me to," I replied with surprise. It never even occurred to me.
Chakotay kissed me. It was just a sweet kind of pressure on my lips, but it made my knees weak.
"Do we go on?" He asked.
"Yes..." I didn’t know what to call him.
He tilted my head up so that I could look into his eyes. "Chakotay. I like hearing you say my name."
"Undress for me."
My fingers were uncooperative, but I managed to free myself from the fabric which felt like a thick wet armor on my skin. He took my hand to balance me as I stepped out of my boots.
"Stay still, Kathryn."
Chakotay walked around me to unpin my hair. I shook it loose for him.
"Come with me," he said.
I walked into my bedroom then stopped when he did.
"Raise your arms."
I took a deep breath then complied. The shackles slid over my hands then tightened around my wrists. I stared moaning quietly trussed that way under his intense stare. He opened the case and began to remove the items inside. There was a lightweight lash, a clit whip and a butt plug. I closed my eyes. My face was on fire.
"Open your eyes, Kathryn," he whispered in my ear. "I need to see them."
"Yes, Chakotay," I replied.
He kissed me again. "What is your safe word?"
"Anomaly," I replied.
Chakotay smiled at me.
"I loathe that word. I’d never say it during a session," I said.
He chuckled lightly.
It was going to be impossible not to start coming.
"Before we begin, I’ll ease your tension. You have been very obedient," he said.
He pushed his fingers in me. I was rocked immediately. I was moaning loudly but I didn’t close my eyes. I kept my gaze on his as I came powerfully. Moments later, I was still fighting for breath and was still on the edge.
"Thank you, Chakotay," I said.
"Close your eyes, Kathryn." he said.
I was grateful for that. His stare was unnerving me. I felt him walking behind me. He ran the butt of the whip along my spine.
"Relax... The whip is light and strong like you," he murmured. The blows fell quickly. He had an efficient style that covered a lot of skin quickly. My attention was taken up with my sizzling back. Chakotay stopped after a couple of dozen lashes. He stroked my hair as I leaned my face against my upper arm. I was breathing heavily. He walked around to face me.
"It’s your concentration on your slaves reactions that keep you from getting lost in the power." He said tilting my chin up to wipe my tears.
"That’s part of it," I replied. His eyes were appraising me once more. I could feel their gaze.
"You’re also thinking about the pleasure you’ll give," he said. His lips were so close. He licked my lower lip then pushed his tongue inside my mouth for a hot, lush moment.
"Look at me, Kathryn," he said afterward.
He began to undress. "I don’t have the ingenuity to create an Outfit of my own."
I raised a brow at him.
"I know you’d like a hand in designing it, but I prefer this," he said as the last garment dropped onto the floor.
I inhaled slowly as I looked at him. He was so beautiful and so hard. I wanted his touch terribly, but I felt I would shatter from the pleasure. He picked up something from the case that I couldn’t see. Chakotay reached out to caress the skin along my throat. He kept contact with my body as he walked around me. He kissed the curve of my shoulder while fondling my nipples. His erection throbbed against my butt. I was losing my mind.
"That’s it, Kathryn, relax." he said in my ear. One hand still cupped my left breast. The other was pressing something into me from behind. It was the plug -- already lubricated and a perfect size. I gasped at the fullness.
"And now for the pleasure," he said.
"Now for the pleasure?" I thought. My mind was reeling.
Chakotay was in front of me again. He hooked one arm down beneath my leg then lifted it, then the other. I realized what he was planning and nearly screamed approval as he thrust inside me. Chakotay supported me with his arms, so I could ride with him. I could move with his thrusts while he sucked my nipples ruthlessly. Why hadn’t I thought of this position, I wondered in the last instant of lucidity before I came explosively. I don’t remember anything else clearly. Vaguely, I knew Chakotay released my shackles, I was lifted and carried to the bed. For a while, I knew he held me while we rested.
But when I was next fully aware, I was shackled on my back by the wrists. A pillow supported my pelvis, my legs were free. Chakotay was standing beside the bed. The clit whip was in his hand. I inhaled sharply.
Chakotay considered me for a moment.
"There is a lot of creativity in this as well," he said. "You must spend a lot of time making each encounter different and fresh.’
Chakotay traced the muscles along my abdomen with the whip.
"Yes," I replied.
"That appeals to your artistic side, "he said.
He was in between my legs running the whip along my thigh.
"You’ll have to guide me," he murmured.
"Yes, Chakotay," I replied.
He smacked my inner right thigh. It was nearly perfect.
"Harder," I whispered. He complied. I gasped at the next smack. He had the touch. My thighs were thoroughly reddened. My breathing was very labored. I was suspended in sensation awaiting his attack on my clit. When that blow finally fell, I nearly levitated off the bed. Chakotay looked concerned about the sound I made.
"Don’t stop," I gasped.
By the sixth smack I was begging for release.
"Please, Chakotay, please..."
He tossed aside the whip and began sucking the sensitive nub he’d just been swatting. I arched toward him seeing stars in an endless, colorful array.
Chakotay let me rest for a moment -- only a moment. When my head cleared. I felt him sucking on one nipple while tugging the other. Then he was inside me. He was kissing me moving with slow controlled strokes until I was coming once again. He reared back with a roar then collapsed on me. I never thought I would move again.
"How is your back?" Chakotay mumbled.
"Delicious," I replied. "You’ll have to heal it so I don’t scar."
He released the shackles. I wrapped my arms around him then held tight.
"Thank you," he said.
"Believe me I got the better end of this deal, Dear One," I said. "You have quite an amazing aptitude for this."
The Commander raised up on an elbow to look at me. "Only because it’s you," he said. "I’m not about to go hunting for slaves."
I didn’t want to admit that I was pleased by that though I was. His kind of competition I didn’t need.
"How many replicator rations did your equipment cost?"
"Plenty," Chakotay said with a devilish smile. "But most of those came from Paris. I’ve been shellacking him regularly in pool, and he has no idea why."
I laughed at that as well. The Commander’s face grew more serious.
"It was always apparent why your slaves adored you. Now I understand why you cherish them," he said.
"I’m glad," I replied.
Yet as we drifted off to sleep, I wondered what really happened. This new understanding could make my dealings with the Circle easier for him to handle. He also knew almost as much as Barrows did about how to subdue me. I withheld the last bit that would give him my body and soul. The Commander had become formidable, but I was not willing to give up the Mistress.
When we parted the following morning, the Commander continued to surprise me.
"I know you’ll want some time away from me," he said. "For the Circle or the Mistress."
I nodded. I needed to get back to being me quickly. "After an initial session, it’s common to need some time apart for the dominant. Or yourself."
Chakotay started for the door then paused.
"Kathryn, I hope that this... experience has brought us together -- not torn us apart," he said. His eyes were solemn and sincere.
Chakotay left before I could say anything, which was just as well I had been wondering the same thing.
After an uneventful day which kept Chakotay with Paris and out of my orbit, I decided that the serene presence of Mistress Barrows was in order. I put on a soft attractive dress to cover my naked flesh then went to the Holodeck.
She was there on the throne considering me quietly as I told her of the last few days. I had logs from the Circle for her. She’d become intrigued with dear Mr. Kim and wanted to see more of his sessions. The gifts were accepted graciously.
"You are very thoughtful, pet," Barrows said. "But I sense a troubled undercurrent in you."
"Yes, Mistress. But they’re always there of late," I replied.
"This is different, Dear One. I can also sense your reluctance to talk about it," she said. "No matter. I can make you forget all about it. Take off your clothes."
The dress dropped to my ankles. A large male attendant appeared and shackled me to the training apparatus. It was like a rack only the trainee wouldn’t lie on a table. The trainee lies against wide padded leather bands at the neck, the waist, the thighs, and at the ankles. Another set of straps could be secured in the front. This way the trainee could be reclined face up or down or standing right side up or upside down.
I was surprised because Barrows hadn’t put me on one since my first year of service. I almost resisted. It was as thought she wanted to break down barriers that were breached long ago. She is the Mistress, I reasoned. It was likely that Barrows saw something in me that required stern measures. With some effort, I relaxed against the leather gag being tied around my head.
Barrows had me turned with my back to her.
"You have such an elegant, sensual body," she sighed. "Like an ancient Greek statue."
Why did she sound so sad, I wondered.
The first blow landed with surprising strength. If I had been standing, my knees would have given way. It was more than a skin warming, it was nearly lacerating. My mind was in turmoil. Barrows hadn’t been this brutal since my training. What had I done to make her think I needed this level of lashing?
I was beyond thought when she stopped. My skin was blistering. I was barely aware of the tears streaming down my face. Barrows walked in front of me. She wiped my face.
"I was existing in the world of electronic synapses when I was made aware of interesting replicator activity. Someone had fashioned a light whip, a butt plug and a clit whip. Of course, I was intrigued so I looked to find out who it was," she said. "Imagine my surprise at the identity."
She removed the gag tilting my head up to look at her.
"Permission to speak," I whispered.
"Tread carefully," she replied.
"Yes, Mistress... Chakotay and I had some unresolved... needs to explore after Vaak 4," I said, "Chakotay doesn’t want me to be his slave. He wanted to understand the dominant in me."
Barrows shook her head. "Child, child, child! Your innocence sometimes amazes me. Are you so anxious to hold onto his support that you’ll believe anything?"
I was astounded. Could she be right? Did I need him that badly?
"Yes, child. You are alone lightyears from home." Barrows said. "You need his counsel, his strength -- his approval. He wants you body and soul. This little ‘experiment’ is just the beginning. At some point he will insist. He’s good enough for you to want it -- don’t deny it, pet."
I couldn’t. I lowered my eyes.
"I rest my case," Barrows said quietly. "No matter. I’ll make things right."
I was lost. Barrows had never read me wrong before. I lowered my head.
"That’s it pet, relax."
Barrows was going to break me down once more, and I couldn’t fight her. I believed she was right. I was turned over and whipped along my thighs with brutal efficiency. I drifted away for a time afterward from sheer exhaustion.
When I woke, I realized that I was shackled to a bed. Barrows was watching one of my logs with Kim. That was a great session. I had kept him hard for nearly three hours before I would release him.
Barrows noticed I was awake.
"You really do have exquisite taste, Dear One. What control you have over this tasty morsel. That’s the Mistress Janeway I trained and unleashed," she said switching off the monitor.
I tried to shift my position then winced from the discomfort.
"I’m afraid I went a little to far -- your Doctor is going to throw a fit. And undoubtedly the Commander, as well" Barrows said.
"He won’t know." I said.
"That’s my pet," Barrows said. "You really are mine aren’t you?"
Barrows was caressing my inner thighs moving slowly and deliberately toward my clit.
She began to finger the hypersensitive nub. I moaned as much from pleasure as with relief. Then, her mouth was there tonguing and sucking me with all of her skill and experience. Slowly the pleasure washed over me building until the intensity of the waves took my breath from me.
I felt her caressing my hair afterward while I slowly began to calm.
"I’m very proficient at eating pussy, aren’t I?"
"I’ve had a great deal of practice," Barrows said wistfully. "But I know you believe that even my skill with the strap-on can’t compete with one who owns the equipment."
Before I could even formulate a response to that statement, Barrows was standing naked before me.
"Don’t try to deny it, Dear One," she said.
Barrows transformed before me. She sprouted an incredible penis -- Curzon’s incredible member, in fact. Fully erect, it was an amazing -- almost frightening sight.
"In this incarnation, I can have anything I want," Barrows purred. "I can be whatever you want,"
It was an amazing experience. She more than filled me. That thing throbbed in me the way the strap-on never could. That thing sort of vibrated powerfully as Barrows thrusted. My eyes rolled upward as I moaned loudly. I lost count of the spasmodic orgasms wrenching my insides. Smaller ones continued after she pulled out. I slept again.
The next morning left me puzzled. I was sore from the lashing, the restraints and the strenuous activity. The Doctor’s reprimand was still ringing in my ears. Usually I would feel they were worth the pleasure. Not this time. There was incredible pleasure to be sure. My box twinged every time I thought of that vibrating thrusting member in me. Yet, I was confused and dissatisfied. I knew it was because I doubted the Mistress. In my heart, I was still not sure she was reading me correctly. Though I wasn’t terribly sure of Chakotay either. All of this made me very angry. My control was gone between the two of them. I wanted it back.
I called Torres from my Ready Room to assemble the Circle. I authorized her to implement a sub-routine that would block Barrows from accessing the Holodeck until I was finished. The Ensign was unavailable, but the rest replied in short order. I dressed with great care and deliberation. I remembered all the pleasures of being who I’d become in the Mistress. Oddly enough, it was Chakotay’s observations I was remembering -- and Barrows from when I was trained.
They were waiting for me. Torres was in her outfit -- lovely and regal. She dropped to her knees when she saw me. They all followed suit. Though their eyes were still cast down, I knew then every one of them was focused on my every movement. Paris and Kim were gloriously naked and collared. I walked around them slowly finally stopping in front of Torres.
"How may we serve, Mistress?" Torres said reverently.
I petted her head. "Shackle the boys arms over their heads."
My commands were obeyed instantly.
"I want Mr. Paris to have a clear view of me. You may take care of Mr. Kim."
After considering him for a moment, B’Elanna smiled.
"Yes, Mistress," she said. "Well, Spot, where do we begin?"
I adored how that man could still blush so sweetly after all of the lewd acts I’ve seen him perform. Torres stalked around him twirling her paddle as though it were a baton.
I turned my attention back to Paris. I walked over to the Lieutenant without preamble, and gently grasped his erection.
"Very nice," I purred. "Let’s keep it that way until we’re ready to use it."
I slipped a double cock ring on him imprisoning his beautiful balls as well as that cock. Tom tried to regulate his breathing. I pressed against him, I could hear his heart hammering away.
I petted his chest then sucked at each nipple in turn.
"Calm down, sweet one," I said raising on my toes to kiss him. The Lieutenant ravaged my mouth until I pulled away. The fire in his blue eyes always amazed me.
"Let’s watch for a while," I said.
I returned to my seat looping one leg over the arm of the chair. "Begin,’ I said.
Torres considered Harry. "It seems my sweet one has gotten into the habit of being tardy for our sessions. Then instead of being contrite, he makes excuses. You need correction, don’t you?"
I enjoyed her voice especially with the playful tone and the wicked gleam in her eyes. She paddled Mr. Kim until his bottom was the same color as his face -- from what I could tell in the mirrors.
He was gasping with his eyes closed when she finished. Torres stroked his sensitive cheeks afterward then she licked them. Kim seemed to grow even harder with that. B’Elanna circled him again. Once in front of her subject once again, Torres put on her strap-on. Thankfully it wasn’t Big Woody. However, it did look awfully familiar.
"B’Elanna, where did you get that attachment?" I asked
"It’s a cast of Tom’s," she said breezily. "I thought I’d give him something familiar."
Paris went scarlet. Kim inhaled sharply just before B’Elanna kissed him. I could see anger mixed with the lust in his response. Were it not for the worry of ruining the session, I would have been laughing my head off. The kiss refocused Harry. Torres was reluctant to end it.
After conjuring a cushioned table to kneel on, B’Elanna lubricated the attachment, then impaled Mr. Kim. I got up, walked over to them then removed her bra.
"Let him feel those nipples on his back, pet," I said.
"Yes, Mistress," she replied just before reaching around to grab his cock.
Torres pumped and stroked Harry rhythmically. The paddling and her prank were forgotten as he loudly moaned his pleasure.
"Are you mine, Harry?" She asked in a husky whisper.
"Yes, Lord yes," he shouted then erupted with a beautiful spurt.
"Nicely done," I said with a smile. That made me very wet.
Harry was released. He collapsed onto a divan.
"Come here, B’Elanna," I said indicating the place in front of me right between my legs.
When she was close enough, I grabbed her collar to pull her nipples nearer. I nipped then tongued, then sucked on them until she was squirming.
"You’ll get your reward soon," I murmured. Pulling her down until her lips were near. I slipped my tongue into her mouth. Her groan was music to me. The intensity of her response pushed away what remained of my uncertainty. As we kissed, I unhooked my panties. When our lips parted I pushed her down by the shoulders.
It didn’t take much encouragement. She went after my clit like it was her favorite meal. Perhaps it was, I thought dreamily. My eyes drifted to Paris who looked like he was about to explode. Harry had recovered and was actually getting hard once more. Ah, youth!
To taunt the Lieutenant, I unhooked my bra and fondled my exposed nipples. He moaned his approval. Meanwhile, B’Elanna’s tongue hit just the right spot that made my eyes roll backwards and both made both sets of lips quiver. She worked it until I was nearly screaming.
I was covered in sweat afterward and very short of breath.
"Well done... my sweet." I gasped. "Harry, reward B’Elanna."
I had a tall sturdy stool appear by Paris. He looked puzzled as I approached him.
"I’ve been given an inspiration." I said removing the cock ring. I sat on the stool which came up to Tom’s mid-thigh. Tom began to realize what I was doing.
"Oh, lord, Mistress..." He whispered. I hooked my left leg around his waist then slid over his erection. Then, I locked my mouth on his.
It was acrobatic and very satisfying. Tom was so primed that when let loose, I swore I could feel it in my hair follicles. They were tender in their gratitude later. As always, they implored me not to wait too long between sessions.
I determined that I hadn’t lost control over my subjects. Next, I had to face the Commander.
"Janeway to Chakotay."
"Tomorrow after duty?"
I was strangely calm. The success of the previous night’s session and the continuing covert adoration afterward restored my confidence almost entirely. When I faced Chakotay in my quarters, I was at ease.
"Well, Chakotay? What do you have in mind for tonight?" I asked.
He smiled a small smile. "We’ve had a lot of excitement of late. Maybe we should relax and have a quiet night," he said. "A nice meal... You could paint. I could read. We can just be quiet together."
I held him. I felt his sincerity. There was no other agenda. I was so relieved.
I was confused that Barrows wasn’t angry at being blocked from the Holodeck -- until I realized that she didn’t really know that it had been deliberate.
"Your central computer is even more mutated and eccentric than that Doctor," Barrows said. "I’m never surprised at what this ship does."
She came toward me. "Shall we begin?"
"No, Mistress," I said. "Anomaly."
"Anomaly," I repeated.
"How have I harmed you?"
"Crossing boundaries, Mistress," I replied. "You have crossed into my relationship with Chakotay. Like my command there are areas that must remain my own."
She was silent for what seemed like the longest moment in my life.
"You are correct, Dear One," she sighed. "I have violated my part of the vow. It’s being this... entity. I’m more dependent than I have ever been to one of my subjects for survival."
"I would never do anything to end your being, Mistress." I said. "You exist now. No one has that right. Of course, I don’t know how I’ll explain you to Starfleet when we get back."
She smiled her brightest most serene smile.
"You are my Dearest One," she said. "Will you share the logs I’ve missed?"
"On one condition."
"Please, just use Curzon’s strap-on from now on," I said.
"Didn’t you enjoy it?"
"Yes, but that was too weird even for me."
25: Alternate Scenarios