Disclaimer: Pet Fly and Paramount own the copyright to The Sentinel and its characters. This piece of fan fiction was written solely for the love of the characters and to share freely with other fans. No profit is being made from the posting of this story.

Acknowledgments: I would like to thank Elaine and Mary who beta'd both the original stories and this revision. In addition, kudos should go to KimberlyFDR, who worked with me on the revision to polish the piece.

Notes: Previously published in the My Mongoose "Many Chapters of The Sentinel" E-Zine as "First Night," "To Have and To Hold," and "Revelations." This story has been substantially altered to extend the timeline and begins on New Year's Eve 1998/99. As posted, it appeared in the devious developments press zine "Resolutions" by Nancy Taylor.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Virgin!Blair (to m/m), Blair owies, angst, h/c

Summary: Jim and Blair discover a new layer to their partnership at the annual New Year's Eve party.

Comments welcome and appreciated!

Jim finished tying his bow tie, tugging it straight. "I hate these penguin suits," he muttered, watching as Sandburg emerged from his own room dressed in formal attire, his hair drawn back in a ponytail. "Looking good, Chief."

"Back at ya!" Blair replied with a jaunty smile. "You look good in a tux, man; a real babe magnet."

"Yeah, right." Jim's voice dripped sarcasm, but he wasn't upset with his partner. He just hadn't wanted to attend yet another boring New Year's Eve party. This year, the Major Crime Unit had agreed to be a part of the "First Night" New Year's Eve celebration--a citywide party spread out in several public locations throughout Cascade. He had only agreed to go at all because Blair had seemed so excited by the prospect. Somehow, he didn't feel right sending the kid out on his own while he stayed home. No telling what trouble might find the police observer. "If you're ready, I guess we'd better get going," he said. Walking to the door, he grabbed his keys out of the basket and stepped into the hall, Blair close on his heels.

"What's our swinging party destination?" Blair asked as they made their way down in the elevator.

"The Cultural Museum of Art and Antiquities," Jim intoned dryly. "Simon seemed to think it had our names written all over it."

"Cool," Blair said, bobbing his head as they walked across the parking lot toward the truck.

~oO0Oo~

The party was in full swing when they arrived. All the men were dressed in tuxes, looking very debonair in black and white. The women glittered and sparkled in sequins, satin and metallics of every color in the rainbow. Cocktails flowed freely; as the City Cab Company had been enlisted as part of the First Night festivities, to drive all attendees safely home again.

Jim and Blair entered the museum and quickly peeled off in opposite directions. Jim found himself snagged by the Mayor's daughter and dragged into a conversation on art far more suited to Sandburg's tastes.

Blair wandered over to a new exhibit of Egyptian artifacts, examining the contents of the cases.

"Beautiful, aren't they?"

He looked up to find a gorgeous redhead in a form-fitting emerald gown standing next to him. "Yeah," he agreed. "I heard about this exhibit at Rainier, but hadn't had the time to come visit."

"Do you work at the University?"

"Uh, yeah," Blair answered, smiling at the young woman. "I'm a T.A. studying for my doctoral degree."

"What subject?"

"Anthropology."

The redhead sidled closer until her hip connected with Blair's. "That's very interesting," she purred. "My name is Ciara."

"Blair. Blair Sandburg," the anthropologist answered, easing sideways to regain some of his personal space.

"Feel like asking a lady to dance?" Ciara inquired as the band began playing a romantic tune. She offered her hand and Blair accepted, drawing her out into the area marked off as the dance floor. She draped herself over his shoulder as they moved slowly around the floor. When the dance ended, she reluctantly parted. Looking at the clock, she said, "It's nearly midnight. Why don't you be a doll and go get us some champagne to toast in the New Year?"

"Sounds like a plan," Blair said, surprisingly anxious to get free for a few moments. As he stood at the bar waiting his turn to order drinks, he noticed Jim come up behind him. "Hey, Jim! How's it going this evening?"

"Don't ask," Jim growled. "The Mayor's daughter has been all over me since we arrived. What do you know about pre-Colombian art?" As Blair opened his mouth to speak, Jim interrupted quickly. "Don't answer that." He sighed. "Is it midnight yet?"

Blair chuckled. "Not quite. Just hang in there. We've made an appearance; as soon as the clock strikes midnight, we're free men."

"Your order, sir?" the bartender asked.

Blair turned to the man. "Two champagnes, please." He turned back to Jim. "I don't think Simon expected more than a token appearance from you." He accepted the drinks and turned to make his way back through the crowd. Jim, who was standing right behind him, blocked his way. They danced from side to side, trying to make way for each other as the large clock in the atrium began to strike midnight.

The band played Auld Lang Syne while confetti and balloons fell from the ceiling. A rotating crystal ball sent shards of rainbows glittering into the crowd. Throughout the grand hall, everyone grabbed a partner for a celebratory kiss.

Jim and Blair stood alone at the bar, watching the crowd. Blair spotted Ciara across the room, trying to make her way through to him. At the same time, Jim saw the Mayor's daughter lift her arm to wave in an attempt to get his attention. He turned to his partner and grabbed the glasses of champagne from Blair's hands, setting them back on the bar. Tugging on the young man's lapels, he drew him in close, kissing the anthropologist soundly. Startled, Blair found himself melting into the kiss, returning it with enthusiasm.

As the final peal of the clock faded away, they separated and stood eyeing each other. Finally, Blair's hand snaked up to finger his lips. "Whoa!" His voice was soft, as all strength seemed to have abandoned him in that one, defining moment.

"Don't get any ideas," Jim said, brushing off the gesture. "It's a New Year's tradition, and you were the closest available person."

"Uh-huh," Blair replied, nodding. He had felt the heat behind that kiss, the possessive way Jim had gripped him. He retrieved a glass of champagne and downed the contents in one gulp before setting the flute back on the bar. "I think it's time we go home," he said, his voice trembling slightly. He began making his way toward a side exit door nearby, grabbing Jim's sleeve to drag him along.

The redhead and the Mayor's daughter arrived at the bar in time to see their companions for the evening vanish into the night.

~oO0Oo~

Blair fidgeted in the seat of the truck as they drove home. Jim had kissed him. What's more, it had felt good, really good. He had meant what he'd said to Jim before the party--the man was stunning in a tuxedo. He hazarded a quick glance at his partner, noticing the look of concentration and the tick of his jaw muscle. Jim had warned him not to get ideas, that it didn't mean anything. But why? Why would he kiss Blair at all? Tradition be hanged, nothing forced his very straight partner to kiss his very male friend. The turmoil in his mind was making Blair slightly nauseated.

Jim pulled the truck into its parking space outside the loft and turned off the engine. Opening the door, he slid out to stand on the pavement. "You coming?" The question was sharp and succinct.

Blair scrambled from the truck, pushing his hands deep into his pockets and mumbling, "Yeah," as he made a hasty retreat toward the door to the building.

Once inside their apartment, Jim's demeanor softened a bit. He turned a concerned look on Blair, who stood hunched by the bathroom door. "What's the matter, Sandburg? Are you all right?" He approached cautiously, resting a hand lightly on the shorter man's shoulders.

"Can't decide," Blair muttered, not looking up.

"Can't decide what?" Jim circled around to stand in front of Blair. "You don't look so good."

"I don't feel so good," Blair agreed. "I can't decide if I should go to my room, get undressed and go to bed, or go into the bathroom and puke."

Jim let the hand on Blair's shoulder slip to his waist, encircling it gently. With his spare hand, he took hold of one of Blair's and led the young man slowly into his bedroom. Guiding him over to the futon, Jim pushed him down onto the mattress. Kneeling in front of his friend, he began undoing the bow tie and loosening the buttons at the neck of Blair's shirt. "Feeling sick to your stomach?" he asked, continuing to undress his non-responsive partner. Blair nodded. "What brought that on?"

"I don't know," Blair lied. "Maybe too much champagne."

"The bubbly can really go to your head, if you're not careful," Jim acknowledged, continuing to undress Sandburg and make him comfortable.

Blair slipped out of his pants, allowing Jim to hang the tuxedo neatly in his closet. Dressed only in his underwear, he crawled under the blankets, pulling them up to his chin.

"It's been a long day; get some sleep." Jim hovered briefly in the doorway. "Happy New Year."

Blair closed his eyes after Jim had gone, and ran a quick systems check on himself. His stomach was still a little queasy, but nothing that wouldn't settle down soon. His heart still beat a bit too rapidly for sleep, his breathing was shallow, and his mind racing.

The evening had been rather unexceptional... until that kiss. Until that kiss, Blair hadn't consciously considered that he found men attractive. Well, not all men... one man. He hadn't allowed himself to think about it, for fear of taking a misstep and ruining the friendship he had with Jim.

Naomi was a free spirit and had raised her son to be open-minded about sex. Still, until Jim had come into his life, Blair had never looked at another man that way. Now he was forced to confront feelings that he had kept hidden even from himself. He was attracted to his roommate, his work partner, his friend. How was he going to deal with that?

~oO0Oo~

It was nearly noon before Blair could drag himself out of bed. He hadn't been able to fall asleep until after 5 a.m., and when he had finally succumbed to Morpheus, his sleep had been disturbed with unsettling images. He stumbled out into the kitchen where the scent of coffee lured him.

"You look like shit," Jim greeted him, handing the younger man a mug of the steaming brew. "Have trouble sleeping?"

"You could say that," Blair muttered, sipping at the coffee as he walked over to the table to sit down. He picked up the newspaper and began to browse through the headlines.

"I didn't sleep so well, either," Jim admitted. "I really hate those New Year's parties. There's too much alcohol too late at night to suit me."

"You're just getting old," Blair grumped.

Jim grinned at the jab. "What's your excuse?" he asked. Dark circles rimmed Blair's eyes, giving him an owlish look.

"I don't know... just things," the young man mumbled. He concentrated on the paper he was reading, praying that Jim would drop the conversation. No such luck.

"What kind of things?"

Putting down the paper and his mug of coffee, Blair finally looked up at his friend. "Things," he said. "Just things. Don't worry about it."

Jim shrugged. It was unusual for Blair to be the one who didn't want to talk. Whatever was bothering him must be serious. He snagged the sports section of the paper and pretended disinterest in his partner's excuses.

Blair scooted his chair back and rose, heading for the bathroom without another word. A few minutes later, Jim heard the shower running.

The anthropologist finished about twenty minutes later, exiting the bathroom and heading straight across the hall to his room. When he emerged, he was dressed and ready for the day. As he headed for the door, Jim's voice stopped him.

"Where're you going?"

"Rainier," Blair answered, slipping halfway through the open door.

"It's New Year's Day," Jim reminded him. "Everything's going to be locked up tight."

"I have a key, and there's some stuff on my desk that needs to be taken care of before classes start up next week." The door clicked softly behind him as Blair closed it on his final words, all but sprinting for the stairs.

Holding the rail, he took the stairs three at a leap. He needed to get out of there, away from Jim, and he didn't have the time or the patience to wait for the elevator. Reaching the parking lot, he climbed in his Volvo and gunned the engine, heading out onto Prospect Avenue. Glancing up, he could see Jim standing on their balcony, watching him drive off.

Coward! Yes, he was nothing better than a coward. But he had to get away, just had to. He knew now why he had begged Jim for a place to stay when his warehouse blew up. He knew why he continued to stay. He knew why he spent more time at the PD than the university. And none of it had anything to do with his sentinel research. It had to do with his subject. The subject he had fallen in love with over the course of the past three years.

Admit it, Blair, you're a yellow-bellied, shit-eating coward. He cursed himself in several languages as he drove blindly through the city, finally finding his parking place at the university purely on automatic pilot. He turned off the engine and leaned back in his seat. Scrubbing his face with both hands, he let out a sigh that ended in a moan. How did he get himself into these predicaments? He hadn't asked to fall in love with his straight roommate. He had actively tried to avoid that very thing. But that kiss. That one damn kiss, had spoiled everything. The wall he had carefully built up to shield his soul had crumbled and his life lay in ruins at his feet.

~oO0Oo~

Jim stared at the door for several minutes after Blair left, finally shaking himself back from the brink of a zone-out. Something was going on here. Something he felt somehow responsible for, even though he had no idea why, or what it was he might have done to cause it. Blair was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma--a puzzle, a conundrum, a perplexing personality that had Jim jumping through hoops trying to figure out.

And why did he care so much? Blair was a friend, yes, his partner, his guide, and occasionally a thorn in his side. Like now. So why was he obsessing about this? Why did it matter? He walked over to the TV and turned it on, tuning in a football game. He didn't even know who was playing; it didn't matter, he didn't care. He stared mindlessly at the game while memories of the past twenty-four hours played with crystal clarity inside his head.

Blair had been happy and excited about the New Year's Eve party. His enthusiasm for it was what had pulled the dour Sentinel along. They had separated early, each being corralled by a beautiful young woman. Blair had seemed animated in his conversation with his evening's companion. Obviously, they had something in common. Jim felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought.

Where the hell did that come from? he wondered. Jealousy?

The Mayor's daughter had tried fruitlessly to drag Jim's attention back to her, but he hadn't been interested. He hadn't come to the party to find a date, he'd come to please Sandburg. Seeing Blair happy, alive in his element--people--was worth the inconvenience. Near midnight, he had slipped away from the Mayor's daughter (he couldn't even remember her name) and gone to the bar on the pretense of getting them drinks to ring in the New Year. In actuality, he had seen Sandburg pull away from the lovely redhead he had been courting and head to the bar.

He had walked up behind the anthropologist, blocking his way. Blair had turned and greeted him, and they had spent the next few minutes trading gossip about the evening. Before they could get their drinks and return to their respective dates, the clock had struck midnight.

Jim blinked slowly and turned off the TV. The clock had struck midnight. Couples were kissing... He shook his head to clear the fog. Had he? Oh, God, yes he had... He had kissed Sandburg! Right there at the bar, in public, at the stroke of midnight. He had grabbed his partner and landed a big, sloppy kiss squarely on those luscious lips.

He let his sense memory drift back twelve hours. Warm. Hot. Sensuous. Sandburg had pressed into his body, clung to him... Sandburg had kissed him back...

Shocked at his own behavior, Jim had shrugged off the gesture as simply a New Year's tradition. But deep inside, somewhere in his psyche that he rarely plumbed, he knew differently. He had held tightly to his secret. As a military man, and now a police detective, it was professional suicide to openly admit to such things. He hadn't been with a man since his college days. Any tendencies in that direction had been ruthlessly suppressed... until Sandburg had entered his life.

Now being different was good. Being different was something to celebrate. Sandburg reminded him of that daily. But would the anthropologist accept these new feelings, or shrug them off? God, just how fucked up was his life, anyway?

~oO0Oo~

Blair didn't come home until late. Reluctantly, Jim had gone to bed, but he hadn't slept. He listened as the key turned in the lock and stocking feet tiptoed across the hardwood floor to the room beneath his own. Blair's heart rate was slightly elevated, and his breath was short. Perhaps he'd just taken the stairs up to their third floor apartment, or maybe he was frightened.

Frightened? Of him? Jim? The Sentinel rolled over and tried to block out the sounds from the room below. Despite his efforts, he could hear the rustle of clothes being shed and blankets being pulled back. Flesh slipping against the sheets. A body rolling and tossing, trying to get comfortable. A weary sigh. And then nothing. Nothing but the quiet breathing that slowly evened out into sleep.

~oO0Oo~

Monday morning, both men were up early, prepared to go back to their routine. Blair grabbed some toast as he gulped down his coffee. "I'll come by the station after my morning class, if that's all right?" He raised his eyes to catch Jim's.

The detective nodded. "Yeah, that would be good. We've got some case files that we need to clear up. Paperwork. A little footwork. Door-to-door stuff." His sentences were clipped, stiff.

Blair set his mug in the sink and ran some water into it. "Okay. I'll see you around eleven o'clock?"

"We can hit the streets and then have lunch," Jim agreed.

Grabbing his backpack and slinging it over a shoulder, Blair waved with false cheerfulness as he walked through the door into the hall. With a sigh, he headed for the elevator, leaning heavily against the cool metal wall as it descended slowly to the ground floor. It was going to be long day.

At 11:10 a.m. he breezed into Major Crime and over to Jim's desk.

"You're late." Jim looked up from his paperwork to eye the anthropologist.

"Give me a break, man," Blair said, dropping his backpack next to Jim's chair. "It's a lousy ten minutes."

Jim stood and grabbed his coat from the rack. "Well, don't get too comfortable, we've got work to do." He turned and headed across the hall to the elevator.

Blair picked up his backpack and followed with a sigh. After an hour of canvassing the neighborhood where the crime had been committed, they settled into a booth at Mimi's for lunch.

They placed their orders, then sat in silence for several minutes. Finally, Blair couldn't take it any longer. "What's with you today, anyway?"

"What do you mean?" Jim asked. Whatever it was, it wasn't his problem, was it?

Blair's hands moved eloquently as he talked. "I get the feeling that you're giving me the cold shoulder. Like you're tolerating me because I have to be here. I've gotta tell ya, I don't have to be here. I've got things to do at the U. If you're uncomfortable having me around, I can split. No problem."

Jim picked at the salad that had arrived at their table. It was hard looking up and meeting those earnest blue eyes. "It's not you," he confessed quietly.

"Well then, who is it?" Blair's voice rose slightly in pitch as his frustration vented.

"It's nothing. Eat your salad." Jim went back to eating his.

"Look, Jim... sooner or later, we're going to have to talk about it," Blair said, wondering if his 'it' was the same 'it' as Jim's.

"Later sounds good," Jim agreed. "A lot later."

"Jiiiim..."

"Later," Jim insisted. He slid out of the booth and grabbed his coat. "Want me to drop you off at Rainier?"

"I'd like to finish my lunch first," Blair said flatly. "I can get my car from the station and drive myself. See you this evening."

The men parted company, leaving Blair with an uneasy feeling of unfinished business.

Their evening wasn't proving to be much more productive. Dinner had been a quiet affair. They now sat on opposite ends of the couch, beer in hand, a bowl of popcorn between them as they watched a Jags game on TV.

During a commercial break at halftime, Jim turned to his partner. "It was the kiss, wasn't it?"

Blair turned startled eyes on his friend.

"New Year's Eve," Jim explained, unable to suppress the grin at the gaping look Blair was giving him. "The kiss at midnight?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Blair answered slowly, recovering his wits. "I remember it."

"That's what's been between us these past two days, isn't it?" Jim took a sip of his beer and watched the expressions flit across Blair's very mobile features.

"I-I don't know what you mean," Blair stammered. A slight trembling had begun in his hands, and he had to set down his bottle of beer.

"You've been upset... Don't deny it," Jim interrupted Blair's attempt to speak. "You haven't been sleeping well. I can hear you tossing and turning all night, moaning in your sleep."

"I haven't said anything, have I?" Blair squeaked, afraid the Sentinel had overheard something the anthropologist would have rather kept secret.

Jim smiled and shook his head. "You're not talking in your sleep, if that's what you're worried about."

"Whew. That's a relief," Blair muttered.

"But the kiss..."

"What about it?"

"You kissed back."

"Um... yeah," Blair admitted. "But it didn't mean anything, you said so. It was just a New Year's tradition," he hurried on.

Jim moved the popcorn to the coffee table and set down his beer before scooting across the couch to sit next to Blair. "Maybe I was wrong." He rested an arm across the back of the sofa cushions, coming dangerously close to wrapping it around the younger man's shoulders. The anthropologist's eyes had that deer-in-the-headlights look: glassy and staring, as Jim leaned in and pressed his lips against the gaping mouth.

Seconds stretched to feel like minutes before Blair began to melt into the kiss, giving in to the warmth and tenderness. Just as the tension melted between them, Jim broke the contact.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked.

Blair's mouth hung open as he raised a hand to brush his fingers across his lips, stunned and disbelieving. "You kissed me... again."

"Yup, and I liked it, too. How about you?"

"J-Jim... maybe we should talk?" Blair let his hand drop to his lap.

"You start," Jim said, staying close and not backing off. "You could start by answering my question," he prodded when Blair didn't speak.

"I-It was nice," Blair said softly, his eyes cast down to where Jim had entwined his fingers with Blair's. Their combined hands rested on Blair's thigh, near his knee. "I liked it too."

"Would you like to try it again?" Jim asked, allowing his arm to slip around Blair's shoulders, pulling the younger man closer. Blair closed his eyes, tipping his head back slightly as he leaned into Jim's embrace. Their lips met tenderly, almost tentatively, until Jim felt the weight resting against him. He wrapped his arms around Blair and gently probed with his tongue.

Blair opened his mouth, drinking in the sensations, as the Sentinel tasted him from the inside out. The long kiss ended, and Jim began peppering smaller ones along Blair's jaw and down his neck. He let a hand creep under Blair's shirt to stroke the flesh beneath, paying special attention to nipples peaked by arousal.

The physical sensations running through him had Blair panting and gasping for breath. His engorged cock ached with the need for release, but when Jim's hand strayed to the denim-clad organ Blair pushed back with both palms against Jim's chest.

"S-Stop, please. Slow down." Blair's breathing was hitched as he gasped for air.

Jim stopped, frowning. "Don't you like it?" He sat back with disappointment and looked at his friend.

"I do. I do like it, Jim. It's just that... My mind is stilling wrapping around this," Blair said, finding his voice. "I didn't know you were geh... geh--"

"Bi-sexual?" Jim provided, his eyes smiling. "It's not something a police officer, or military officer, admits to openly. I haven't been with a man since college. Dad practically blew a gasket when he found out. He told me that if I ever brought a man into his home, he'd disown me."

"So why now?" Blair asked, swallowing the lump trying to form in his throat.

"I'm a grown man. I'm on my own. What my father agrees or disagrees with doesn't matter." Jim lifted a hand to caress a beard-stubbled cheek. "And what the PD doesn't know..." He paused, looking into the troubled eyes across from his. "Are you on board with this? You kissed back..." Indecision clouded his thoughts.

"I-I..." Blair raised his hands, gesturing futilely. "I didn't know you leaned that way. It's a shock, that's all."

"But?"

"No 'buts'," Blair rushed to explain. "I've just been examining my own feelings and was a little shocked when I realized just how much I had liked it when you kissed me New Year's Eve. I'd never really considered myself bi-sexual before," he said, his words almost tumbling over each other in their eagerness to get out. "I've always been attracted to you, from the day we first met. And not just the Sentinel thing; on a physical level, too. I just never thought the day would come that you'd be interested in me."

"Whoa, slow down," Jim said, holding up his hands to stem the tide of words. "Back up a bit. Are you a virgin?"

Blair's eyes opened wide with shock. "N-No! Yes... God, Jim! What exactly to do you mean?"

Jim curled his fingers into a loose fist and rapped his knuckles against Blair's forehead. "Hey, Einstein, anybody home?" He chuckled at Blair's indignant look. "I know you're no virgin with the ladies, but what about the gents?"

"I-I n-never... with a man," Blair whispered.

"Before this goes any further," Jim said softly, "do you want to... with me?"

Blair nodded mutely. Then, finding his voice, he asked, "Do you know what you're doing? One of us should know what we're doing."

"It's been a while," Jim admitted, "but I don't think I've forgotten everything. Want to come to bed?"

Blair rose slowly from his seat on the couch and began to follow Jim up the stairs. Jim reached back and took his hand, pulling Blair up alongside him.

"I'm sorry to be such a wuss," Blair sighed as they reached the bedroom.

Jim smiled and shook his head, steering Blair over to the bed where he began to slowly undress the young man. "You are many things, Sandburg, but 'wuss' isn't one of them. If we need to go slow, we'll go slow." At Blair's nod, Jim wrapped his arms around the younger man and pulled him down onto the bed, covering his mouth with a smothering kiss. His hand roamed to the prominent bulge in Blair's cotton briefs. A moan issued from Sandburg's lips, but he struggled to sit up. Reluctantly, Jim let him go.

"I'm sorry," Blair said, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. "Don't get me wrong, I want to be here. God, I've wanted to be here for the past forty-eight hours. B-But... I don't think I'm quite ready... for more than kissing?" His voice rose to make the statement sound more like a question.

Jim backed off and lifted the blankets. "Crawl in, Chief. Tonight we'll just get used to sharing the bed. How does that sound?" He followed Blair under the covers, spooning up behind him and wrapping a protective arm around the smaller man's waist.

"Mmmm... This is nice," Blair murmured, snuggling back against the warm embrace. "I could get used to this."

Jim burrowed his face into the mass of curls at Blair's neck, drinking in the scent of his potential new lover. He closed his eyes, content. "Yeah, me too," he whispered.

~oO0Oo~

The next morning the atmosphere was decidedly more relaxed. Jim came out of the shower to find Blair making scrambled eggs and toast. Coming up behind him, he wrapped his arms around Blair's waist and nuzzled in the hair under his left ear. Nipping the lobe, he tugged at the silver rings with his teeth, eliciting a chuckle from their owner.

Blair waved a hand in Jim's face. "Cut it out, man, I'm trying to cook."

"Just having myself a little appetizer," Jim quipped, nibbling at Blair's jaw, then down his neck.

"We're going to be late for work if you keep this up," Blair reminded him.

"You coming to the station?" Jim asked, sitting down at the table as Blair brought over the plates of eggs.

Sitting down opposite Jim, Blair rested his elbows on the table, using his hands to help him speak. "I've got an eight o'clock class this morning, but I can be at the PD by 9:30," he said. "You need me there today?"

"I always need you there," Jim said softly, causing a blush to color Blair's cheeks.

"Last night was... really nice," Blair said at last, pulling his elbows off the table and putting his hands in his lap. "I think I could get used to sleeping with you."

"I should hope so," Jim agreed. "I was thinking... maybe we could turn your old room into an office. Then you'd have a place here at home to do all that work that keeps you so late at the university."

"You mean that?" Blair's eyes lit up like beacons. "That would be great!"

"We can make a stop at Home Depot this weekend and get the project started," Jim said, smiling at the look of surprise on his partner's face.

"Sounds like a plan," Blair acknowledged. "But you know, if I don't get my butt in gear, I'm going to be late for class." He picked up his dishes and took them over to the sink to rinse. "I'll be down at the station as soon as I'm finished, okay?" He dried his hands on a towel, and then made for the door, shrugging on his coat and shouldering his backpack as he went.

"See you later," Jim called out as the door was closing.

Oh my God, oh my God, Blair thought as he weaved through the morning traffic. I slept with Jim last night. This is so, so cool. It's damn near too good to be true. He could still feel the well-muscled body wrapped around his, the possessive arm draped over his waist, the warm breath on his neck as Jim buried his face in his hair. By the time he got to Rainier, he was sporting a boner that the blind couldn't miss.

Checking the clock in the corridor, he figured he had a few minutes before he needed to be at the lecture hall. Ducking into the men's room, he hurried to the last stall and locked the door behind him. Leaning against the cool metal, he unzipped his pants and freed his aching erection. Closing his eyes, he tentatively touched the heated column of flesh, imagining Jim's hand exploring him, stroking him. His breath came in ragged gasps, as only a few firm strokes were needed to milk his orgasm from him. Using the one small corner of his brain not involved with his sexual release, he managed to aim for the toilet. When he was finished, he stopped at the sink to splash cold water on his face before walking out to face his students.

Being down at the station wasn't any better. Blair had fled the campus as soon as the lecture was over, driving with the skills Jim had taught him over the years to get downtown as quickly as possible. Now, the nearness of his partner was setting off alarm bells once again.

They had just left Simon's office, where Blair's attention had been diverted for a short while. Now, as they walked back toward Jim's desk, he was certain people were staring.

Jim grabbed Blair's coat off the rack and tossed it at him. Startled, Blair was barely able to catch it without embarrassing himself. "Where are we going?" he asked, following Jim out into the hallway.

"Thought we'd get some lunch," Jim said. "It looked like you needed to get out of there for a while."

"Is it that obvious?" Blair worried, sighing with relief when no one else entered the elevator.

Jim smiled. "Only to me, buddy. Only to me." He watched the floor number lights flicker as the elevator descended. Then, after a few moments, he continued, "But it might be better if you didn't come back in this afternoon. You're telegraphing your feelings pretty strongly. Not that anyone would necessarily connect your condition to me, but I can't take any chances. You understand?"

Blair nodded. "Yeah. If we're going to do this thing, we're going to have to keep it really hush-hush. I'm sorry," he rushed on. "I just couldn't get last night out of my mind."

They exited the elevator at the basement garage and climbed into the waiting truck. "We didn't even do anything," Jim reminded him. "What are you going to be like once we start having sex?"

"I'm not even sure I want to think about that yet," Blair admitted. "My body is so ready, but I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around the concept of being your lover."

"It's new to me, too," Jim agreed. "We won't go any faster than we both feel comfortable with." He pulled the truck into a small strip mall and parked in front of a local deli they both liked. After enjoying their sandwiches, Jim left Blair waiting by the truck while he headed toward a small drugstore two doors down from the restaurant.

"What'cha doing, man?" Blair asked, his hand poised on the door latch.

"Just have to pick up a little something," Jim answered. "Wait for me in the truck."

Blair climbed into the cab, closing the door against the chilly January weather. He rubbed his hands together, wishing he had the keys so that he could turn on the heater.

Fortunately, Jim wasn't gone long. The detective climbed into the truck, tossing a small paper bag on the seat between them. As he began backing out of their parking place, Blair opened the sack.

"Astroglide and condoms?" He looked up at his partner, a small grin quirking the corners of his mouth.

"Don't ever let it be said that we weren't prepared," came the quick reply.

This time Sandburg actually chuckled. "Ever the Boy Scout, eh?"

"This doesn't mean we have to do anything more than what we are both comfortable doing," Jim stated firmly. "But it's a good idea to cover all the bases, just in case."

"It's okay, Jim. I understand." Blair was smiling. "Think maybe we can put some of this to use tonight?"

Jim glanced sharply over at his partner, surprised by the bold question. "Sure, if you're ready."

Blair shrugged and put the bag down. Moments later, they pulled into the lot adjacent to their building and Blair climbed down, taking the supplies with him. "See you tonight," he said with a wave.

That evening, when Jim finally got home, he found a dinner of lasagna and garlic bread waiting for him. Blair was ensconced on the couch, reading. "What took you so long?" he asked, looking up from his book. "I finally gave up and ate."

Jim put his plate in the microwave and waited until the timer sounded. Bringing his dinner into the living room, he sat down next to Blair. "Sorry. A big case landed on my desk just before five o'clock. I should have called."

"Yeah, you should have," Blair agreed. "That's all right, though. You're home now. That's what counts."

"Mmmm....This is very good." Jim ate appreciatively for several minutes, while Blair looked on with an indulgent smile.

"Glad you like it, but save room for dessert." Blair waggled his eyebrows impishly.

Jim hurried to finish, wiping his mouth on a napkin when he was through. "You said something about dessert?"

Blair sprang up from the cushions and went into the kitchen. Jim could hear the clink of metal on glass and sounds of mixing or stirring, but Blair kept his body between the nosy Sentinel and what he was doing. Finally, he turned around, carrying a plate of what looked like homemade strawberry shortcake with real whipped cream.

"Whoa, there, Emeril! Have you been cooking all day?" Jim's mouth was watering in anticipation.

Blair's cheeks were slightly flushed as he knelt on the couch near Jim. "I couldn't get fresh strawberries this time of year," he apologized, "but it's still pretty tasty, if I do say so myself." Jim reached for the plate, but Blair held it back. "Uh, uh, uh," he said, wagging a finger in Jim's face. Then, taking the same finger, he dipped it in the whipped cream and held it out.

Jim leaned forward, taking the offering into his mouth. He sucked the sweet cream from Blair's finger, twirling his tongue around the digit in sensual delight before releasing it. Blair picked up a strawberry coated with the whipped cream and offered it next. Slowly, the dessert was fed, one bite at a time, by hand.

They had only gotten halfway through the plate before Jim took it from Blair's hands and set it on the coffee table. Leaning in to close the narrow gap between them, he pressed a strawberries-and-cream kiss against the waiting lips. "I need to thank you properly for all the effort you went through today for me," he said.

Rising, Jim took Blair's hand and led him up the stairs to their room. When they got to the bedroom, he began to slowly divest Blair of every scrap of clothing. When the younger man stood naked before him, he pressed Blair onto the bed and quickly stripped, crawling up beside him.

"Roll onto your back," Jim commanded softly. When Blair had complied, Jim straddled him, reaching across the bed for the tube of Astroglide on the nightstand and coating his hand with the lubricant. He leaned down to press his lips against Blair's as his hand sought its prize, nestled in the crisp hair of the younger man's groin.

Blair bucked his hips at the first cool touch, moaning into Jim's mouth as his lover stroked his penis to hardness. Jim's free hand brushed across sensitized nipples, tight with arousal, eliciting a gasp. He began kissing his way across Blair's jaw and down his neck, eventually sealing his lips around one firm nub and sucking hard.

"Oh God, Jim!" Blair gasped before being reduced to nothing more than grunts and moans. The fingers on his cock squeezed him with a delicious rhythm, bringing him to the razor's edge of orgasm before abandoning the organ to fondle his balls. The hand and mouth currently teasing his nipples sent electric shocks of desire straight to his already aching groin. No woman had ever touched him like this. No woman had ever cared more for his pleasure than her own. Blair's mind was filled with love, desire, need... and fear. Never had lovemaking been this good. Nothing this good had ever been permanent in his life.

Thoughts of abandonment fled his conscious mind as the slick hand stroking his cock finally pushed him over the edge. With a primal cry, Blair's orgasm washed over him, coating them both with sticky come. He collapsed into a sated heap, panting in the aftermath. He felt himself being gathered up into Jim's strong arms. When he finally began to breathe normally again, he opened his eyes to look into the amused and satisfied ones of his lover.

"That was incredible," he whispered, his voice failing him as he swallowed the lump in his throat. His right hand snaked between their bodies, seeking to pleasure Jim.

Jim grasped the questing hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss. "Not tonight, Love. Tonight was for you," he said softly. A frown briefly curved the full lips of his partner.

"But I want to do the same for you." The words were a disappointed pout.

Jim stroked a cheek coarse with stubble and leaned in close. "Tomorrow," he promised, sealing it with a kiss. "Tomorrow we'll do it together." He reached down to grab an abandoned undershirt and used it to wipe the evidence of their lovemaking from their bodies. Gathering Blair into his arms, he stroked the long hair until his lover's breathing evened out into sleep.

When Blair awoke the next morning, he was alone in the bed. Downstairs he could hear the sound of water running in the bathroom. The scent of freshly brewing coffee wafted its way up to the bedroom, bringing him fully awake. Traces of dried semen streaked his belly and chest, peeling off in small, white flakes. He wrinkled his nose at the scent, not surprised that Jim had headed for the shower as soon as he woke up.

He brushed at his chest, flaking the dried semen from the whorls of hair between his nipples. Jim had made love to him last night. Jim had touched him in the most intimate places, in the most intimate ways. He could feel the beginnings of a morning erection at the very thought of that touch: slick and cool, firm, stroking, squeezing, pulling... He shook the thoughts out of his mind, knowing he had a full day at the university ahead of him. Climbing out of bed, he stripped the soiled sheets to carry downstairs to the hamper. Just as he approached the bathroom, Jim emerged wearing a robe, a towel draped around his neck.

"'Morning, Chief. Sleep well?" His words were light, and a mischievous grin curved his lips.

"You could say that," Blair replied, returning the grin. "Can't wait until tonight."

"Well, you're going to have to," Jim said, turning serious. "I've got a court date this afternoon, and I'll be lucky to be out by five o'clock."

"That sucks," Blair said, taking a bite of the bagel with cream cheese he had just prepared.

Jim chuckled. "I'd suggest thinking of it in other terms if you want to make it through the day."

A blush crept up Blair's neck to color his cheeks. He quickly turned his back on his teasing partner, walking to the door and shouldering his backpack. "Good luck today," he said, twisting his head to speak over his shoulder. "See you this evening."

"G'bye," Jim called as Blair closed the door behind him.

~oO0Oo~

It had been an interminably long day. First, there were the two freshman classes he had to teach, then the faculty meeting that the TAs were also required to attend. The late afternoon was filled with an appointment with his advisor over the progress of his dissertation. When Blair finally arrived home, it was after four o'clock.

He decided he'd earned the comfort, and went to his room to change into his favorite boxers and a T-shirt. He threw a robe over the top, and shuffled barefoot into the kitchen. The least he could do was cook dinner, even if it was technically Jim's night. If he thought his day had been rough, the detective's stint at the courthouse would have been decidedly worse.

Jim finally came home around 5:30, loosening his tie and shedding his suit coat as soon as he passed the threshold into their home. "Mmmm... something smells delicious," he commented, walking into the kitchen to see what Blair was cooking.

"Gumbo," Blair answered the unasked question. "Don't worry, I went easy on the spices." He stirred the pot of Cajun stew. "I used up the leftover chicken," he added, trying to ignore Jim nibbling his neck behind his left ear.

"Did I ever tell you that you taste good?" Jim muttered, tugging on one silver earring with his teeth.

Blair batted at the teasing Sentinel with his free hand. "Cut it out, Jim! I'm going to burn the stew."

Jim reached down in front of Blair and turned off the burner. Then he dragged the bubbling pot off the heat and turned his lover in his arms. "The gumbo can wait," he said, plastering his lips against Blair's, his tongue seeking entrance.

Blair opened himself to his lover. The sensations he was feeling were wholly new. One part of his mind cursed him for not experimenting with men sooner, while another part blessed him for waiting for Jim. He couldn't imagine letting another man touch him the way he let Jim. He couldn't remember being attracted to another man before....

He wasn't overly surprised to realize that Jim had been guiding him to the stairs. His ankles bumped the first step and he started up them backwards, Jim attached to his mouth like a hungry leech. Reaching the bedroom, clothes were shed with little regard for wrinkles or popped buttons. Tumbling onto the bed, they maintained the lip lock, gasping in small breaths of air to sustain them before tongues dove back to continue their exploration.

Blair squirmed in Jim's arms, jockeying for a more comfortable position. Never releasing the suction on Jim's mouth, he rolled onto his side, bringing Jim with him. Tentative hands explored the curve of shoulder blades and buttocks, as his tongue tasted the sweet flavor of his lover.

Jim rocked his hips, bringing his aching cock in alignment with Blair's. The younger man gasped in surprise, the shock of passion making his penis jerk with anticipation. Jim started a slow thrust against his partner, while allowing his mouth to trail kisses across Blair's jaw and down his neck. Buried in Blair's hair as he nuzzled a smooth shoulder, Jim drank in the scent of the natural soaps the anthropologist used when he bathed. The scent was nearly enough to send him into a zone.

When the movement against his groin suddenly ceased, Blair pulled back in concern, eyeing the Sentinel. "Jim? You okay?" No answer. "Jim, come on. You're worrying me here." He reached up, slapping his partner's cheek gently.

Jim shook his head, as though coming out of a light daze, and came face to face with his worried partner. "Oh, God. I'm sorry, Chief! I-I guess I didn't think about how the Sentinel thing might complicate this... this...."

Blair pulled Jim back into a kiss, punctuating each touch of their lips with his words. "It's... all... right... Jim." He began rocking his hips against his lover's, trying to recapture the electric feeling of his building orgasm. "We'll... talk... about it... later...."

"Later," Jim confirmed, diving into the kiss as the friction at their groins grew to a climactic pitch.

Blair was the one who increased the pressure and speed as he humped against his partner. "Oh! Oh!" he gasped, barely parting his lips from Jim's. "Oh.... Jiiiiiiiim!" His cock pulsed with his orgasm, spraying their bodies, making them slick with semen.

Jim used the lubrication to pick up the pace of his own thrusting, groaning out his completion moments later. He collapsed in Blair's arms, their lips brushing as he spoke. "You okay?"

The curly head nodded, a tongue tentatively reaching out, seeking its mate in Jim's mouth. "More than okay." His voice was breathy with sated desire.

Despite the languor that claimed his body, Jim grinned. He smoothed the sweaty hair away from the young man's face, peppering the damp skin with light kisses. Blair sighed and closed his eyes.

An hour later, Jim was downstairs in his robe, reheating the gumbo. His stomach growled at the delicious scents rising from the pot as he stirred. He looked up to see Blair, still sleepy-eyed and flushed with completion, coming down the stairs.

"Hunger alarm went off," Jim explained as Blair walked up to him, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "How about you set the table?"

Blair shuffled over to the cupboards for soup bowls and utensils. Soon, the two men were sitting down enjoying their meal.

"Jim...."

The tone of Blair's voice set off an alert with the Sentinel. He knew what was coming and decided to head it off. "I've never zoned during sex before," he began. "You smelled so good; clean and fresh, I-I just couldn't help myself."

"We should study this, man," Blair insisted. "Maybe you'll have to dial back your senses when we're making love."

"Not touch," Jim insisted, taking another bite of the gumbo. Not touch. The smoothness of Blair's skin, contrasted by the crinkly softness of the hair covering chest and groin, the delicious ache in his cock as it slid against Blair's.... Jim wasn't willing to give up the sense that gave him the most sensual pleasure.

"But Jim..." Blair was speaking. The older man had to drag his attention back to what his partner was saying. "Your risk of a zone-out increases when you're concentrating on just one sense. You'll have to dial them all back."

"Or dial them all up to the same level," Jim suggested.

"I don't know...." Blair said, shaking his head. "That could be dangerous. Sex naturally heightens the senses. If you were to operate full out during sex, I don't know what would happen. What if you zoned on more than one sense? What if I couldn't bring you back?"

"I think you're over analyzing," Jim said with a smile and a shake of his head. "It's just sex."

Blair put down his spoon and concentrated on the man across the table. "It's more than just sex to me," he said softly. "I would hope it's more than just sex to you. I love you, Jim."

The vulnerability on Blair's open face stunned his lover. Despite his growing fear of commitment issues, he evaluated his feelings for the man across the table and came to one simple conclusion. "I love you too, Blair." The transformation on the beautiful face was astounding.

Blair came to life, his eyes twinkling with excitement. "Maybe we should do more experiments," he suggested. "You know, field test our theories on zoning and sex."

The smile on Jim's face stretched from ear to ear. "That's one set of experiments I don't think I'm going to mind."

~oO0Oo~

January was already a week old, and the new lovers had yet to go all the way. Jim was amazed at how quickly his skills in making love to a man had returned. It was just like riding a bicycle, he mused. Only it isn't a bicycle I'd like to be riding.

Blair lay stretched out on the bed next to Jim, naked and quivering with a combination of excitement and fear. This was all so new to him. His body ached for something, but he wasn't sure what. The mutual orgasm they had shared the night before had been wonderful, but something fundamental had been missing.

Jim was speaking, and Blair had to concentrate on the words to understand him. "...I want to be inside you..." Oh God... This is what his body was craving; this is what he wanted. So why was he so scared? "...but not tonight, Baby. Not tonight." The words were like a knife in his heart. Despite his fear, he wanted this.

"I want you," Blair whispered, sending bolts of desire to Jim's aching cock.

"You're not ready yet, Sweetheart," Jim whispered. "Tonight I'm going to teach you what you need to know."

Blair's shaking intensified. He put on a brave smile, but his burgeoning erection had begun to wither. Gentle hands stroked his skin; soft words penetrated his fear. "We'll take it slow," Jim was saying. "Roll onto your side, facing away from me."

"No." Blair's voice quavered, but the single word held conviction. "I want to see you."

"Blair, Honey, you'll be more comfortable on your side," Jim insisted.

"Please..." Blair's voice was a strangled cry. "I need to see you."

Jim nodded, turning Blair onto his back with gentle hands. He grabbed an extra pillow and brought it down between Blair's legs. "Bend your knees and lift your butt for me," he instructed. When Blair had done as he asked, he pushed the pillow beneath Blair's hips, then grabbed the tube of Astroglide off the nightstand and coated his fingers with the lube.

"I'm going to start with just one finger," Jim told his nervous mate.

"O-Okay," Blair panted, gripping the sheets with his fists.

"Baby, you have to relax for me," Jim said, reaching up to stroke the tense arms. He leaned over Blair, bending down to capture his mouth in a gentle kiss. Blair released the sheets, bringing his hands up to caress Jim's short hair, giving himself up to his lover

Jim's slick finger circled the tight opening, causing Blair to gasp and tense up. He stopped. "Why so frightened, Babe? I'm not going to hurt you."

Blair took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Once, when I was nine, the man that Mom was living with at the time, he... he..."

"Oh God, Blair," Jim gasped, sitting back on his heels. "Did he hurt you?"

"No. No, he didn't... didn't... Mom came in time. She was so mad, she actually called the cops," Blair said, a small smile now playing at the corners of his lips. "B-But he touched me... there. If Mom hadn't come when she did..."

"We don't have to do this, Love. We don't have to do it at all," Jim said, stretching out beside the younger man and gathering him into his arms. "I don't want to bring up bad memories. Why didn't you say something before? Is that why you never went on to experiment with men?"

"I didn't remember it until you touched me," Blair admitted. "I think I must have blocked that memory. I wanted you, but I was frightened, and didn't know why." He stopped to take a few controlled breaths. "Yeah, that's probably why I steered away from men growing up. It wasn't that I didn't find some of them attractive, but there was something holding me back. It wasn't until you kissed me that I finally realized what I wanted."

"And what would that be?" Jim asked gently.

Blair grinned and leaned across the small gap between them to give his lover a kiss. "You. Inside me. Where you belong." He punctuated each sentence with another brief kiss.

"Can you relax for me, Sweetheart?" Jim asked.

In response, Blair, who was now lying on his side facing Jim, raised one leg, bending at the knee, to expose his center. Cautiously, Jim teased the tight muscle with a lubed finger. Blair gasped at the touch, but consciously adjusted his breathing to a slow, relaxing rhythm.

The muscle loosened slightly, and Jim allowed his finger to slip inside up to the first knuckle. He paused, gauging his partner's reaction. Lines of tension showed on Blair's otherwise smooth face. His eyes were closed, and he was consciously working at relaxing. Jim kept up a litany of soothing nonsense babble as he allowed his finger to push deeper. Very slowly, he worked his way inside, until his entire finger was buried in the velvet warmth.

Blair lay still, barely breathing, adjusting to the sensation of having Jim inside him. Suddenly his back arched and he let out a gasp that was almost a primal cry. "What the hell was that?" he barked, relaxing back onto the mattress. He was startled to realize that his cock was aroused and weeping pre-come.

"That, my young Jedi, was me stroking your prostate," Jim replied with an impish grin.

"Good God!" Blair gasped. "D-Do that a-again."

"Your wish is my command," Jim said, brushing his finger across the gland a second time.

"Oh God, oh God, godgodgodgod...." The words trailed off as Blair broke into a sweat, panting and crying at the same time. His engorged penis was an angry purple, stretched until the flesh was smooth and hard as steel.

"I can make you come," Jim said, his voice wheedling. His free hand stroked Blair's aching member, while the finger embedded in the young man's behind put pressure on the sweet spot once more.

With a cry loud enough to wake the neighbors, Blair's climax washed over him, spraying a seemingly endless stream of semen onto Jim's chest. With a sigh of relief, Blair collapsed, all muscle tone gone momentarily.

Jim took the opportunity to slip out his single digit and return with two. Still moving slowly, he scissored the muscle to stretch and relax it more.

Blair was drowsy, but aware, smiling as Jim sank deeper into his center. "I want you in me," he said, his voice still languid with completion.

"I am in you," Jim pointed out, moving the fingers in a gentle thrusting motion.

"No, no," Blair insisted. He reached out to grasp Jim's erection and give it a squeeze. "I want you in me."

"You're not ready," Jim insisted, leaning in to head off Blair's protest with another kiss. "Are you okay? Comfortable?" Blair nodded, keeping his eyes locked with Jim's. "What if I try three fingers? It would be tight, maybe even more than my penis." Blair mouthed the word "okay," but no sound passed his lips. The glint of fear was back in those precious blue eyes, but it was masked by determination.

Jim eased his two fingers out, probing at the loosened entrance with three. "Close your eyes," he instructed softly. "Pretend this is my cock in you. I want to be in you so much. I love you so much. Love you...." He kept up the soft words as he eased slowly inside. Blair tensed briefly and a look of discomfort rippled across his features. Jim stopped and held his breath until he felt the deliberate relaxation of the muscle clenching his fingers. He pulled out a little way, then pressed in a bit deeper. He kept up the gentle in and out motion until all three fingers were buried inside his lover.

Blair groaned and shifted his butt slightly. Jim quieted the protest with more kisses. Still somewhat sleepy from his momentous orgasm, Blair allowed his lover to claim his mouth. Jim slipped his fingers out slowly and gathered the precious body close. He willed his own erection down, knowing that soon, perhaps as early as tomorrow, he would make Blair his own.

~oO0Oo~

Blair moaned and rolled over. Jim had awakened nearly a half hour before and had stayed in bed, propped up on an elbow, watching his lover sleep. Eyelids fluttered and blue eyes focused on blue. "'Mornin', Jim," Blair muttered, his mouth feeling like it was full of cotton.

Jim reached out to stroke the sleep-mussed hair. "Good morning," he returned the greeting. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Besides sticky and smelly?" Blair responded, wrinkling his nose at the smell of spent semen dried on their bodies.

"Yeah, besides that," Jim answered with a chuckle.

Cautiously, Blair moved his legs, shifting to roll onto his side from his back. "Ohhhhh... God... it hurts," he moaned.

Suddenly solicitous, Jim reached out to gather Blair into arms, then stopped, not sure how to touch the younger man without making the sore muscles protest even more.

"It's all right," Blair said, shifting again and moving into Jim's open arms. "It's a good hurt. I just haven't had an opportunity to give those particular muscles much of a workout before this."

The alarm buzzed and Blair glanced at the clock, flinging the covers back and jumping up with a flexibility he hadn't realized he still possessed. "How did it get to be that late?" he cried. "I have a meeting with the dissertation committee this morning. If I miss it, my ass is fried."

"Wouldn't want that," Jim muttered with a smile as he watched his lover dash down the stairs and disappear into the bathroom. The sound of the shower quickly followed. Jim got up, wrapping himself in his robe, and padded barefoot downstairs to start the coffee.

By the time Blair had finished with his shower and morning ablutions, Jim had scrambled eggs and toast ready for breakfast.

Blair slipped into his room and dressed quickly, darting out and grabbing a slice of toast on his way past Jim. "Sorry. No time," he apologized, grabbing his backpack and disappearing through the door.

Jim stood with a stunned smile of amusement on his face. Was that the same man who had been so tentative and shy last night? He settled down to eat his breakfast, throwing away the extras when he'd had his fill. After putting the dishes in the sink, he went back upstairs to get ready for work.

~oO0Oo~

Blair came home that evening to a message on the answering machine. "Blair, it's me," Jim's voice came out of the machine, a tinny shadow of its naturally rich tones. "Hey, I tried to get you on your cell, but either you had it turned off or your battery is dead again. Anyway, Simon's got me on a stakeout, so I'll be gone all night." The voice on the machine paused, and then came back softly. "Sonqollay... wait for me."

Blair tossed together a quick meal made from leftovers, his heart not into fixing a big dinner when Jim wasn't home to share it with him. He lowered himself gently onto the couch, still conscious of the soreness in his butt from the previous night's activities. He had made it through his day, hoping that tonight would be the night, and now he was destined to spend it alone.

Picking up the remote, he surfed through the channels, not finding anything particularly to his liking. He stopped to watch a program about computers on the Tech Channel, but quickly lost interest. Clicking off the TV, he got up and walked over to the stereo. Selecting his favorite aboriginal CD, he put the music on low volume and went in search of something to read. By ten o'clock he couldn't keep up the pretense any longer. He wanted to go to bed. He wanted to go to bed with Jim....

Trudging up the stairs, he stood for a few minutes at the edge of the bed, wondering if perhaps he should sleep downstairs in his own room. The ringing of the phone made him jump. He turned around, fumbling for the receiver. "Ellison-Sandburg residence, Blair speaking."

"Hey, Babe. What are you doing?" Jim's voice came from the other end of the connection.

Blair looked around at the room and the bed. "Um... just thinking about going to bed." He paused for a moment, and then added softly, "I wish you were here with me."

"I am with you. Are you in our room?"

"I'm upstairs, yeah," Blair answered, sitting on the mattress.

"Do me a favor." Jim's voice was low and husky.

"Jim, man, are you alone?" Blair asked, unreasonably embarrassed by his lover's tone.

A chuckle sounded across the phone line. "Rafe and H are in another vehicle on the other side of the building," Jim assured him. "We are as alone as we're going to get tonight."

"Uh, okay," Blair said hesitantly. "What did you want me to do?"

"Are you undressed?"

"Not yet." Beads of sweat began to pearl on Blair's forehead; his heart beat faster and his breathing was becoming shallow.

"I can hear you, Sonqollay. Your heart beats for me. Every breath you take is for me. Undress for me. I want to see you."

"Y-You c-can't see me," Blair protested feebly as his free hand began to undo the buttons of his shirt.

"Of course I can," the Sentinel insisted. To prove his point, he began to describe what Blair was doing. "You're unbuttoning your shirt. God, you're beautiful. I love the crinkly hair on your chest. Touch it for me."

Blair's hand abandoned his shirt and went automatically to his chest, fingers running through the short, crisp hair.

"Brush your fingertips across your nipples. Feel my hands touching you." A gasp echoed across the connection between them as Blair's fingers touched the sensitive nubs, almost as if Jim was using a remote control to move his hand from across town. "Take off your shirt and lie back on the bed," Jim continued to instruct. When Blair had done so, he went on. "Unbuckle your belt and loosen the button on your pants... Now slide your hand inside and touch your cock. You're hard for me, Baby. You want me so much, like I want you."

Blair did as he was instructed, but hesitated with his hand halfway inside his pants. "I-I can't do this, man. It's too weird." He pulled his hand out and scooted farther onto the bed, gripping the receiver with white knuckles. "Jim, what if we get caught?"

"We're not going to get caught, Chief." There was a hint of laughter in the tinny voice. "Just finish stripping and crawl into the middle of the bed."

Blair set the phone on the nightstand and finished taking off his clothes. He was, indeed, hard and leaking; needy for his lover, but the feeling of having sex in a public place persisted, making him nervous. He picked up the receiver again and waited.

"Are you naked?" Blair nodded, his breathing quickening. "Good," Jim said, as though he had seen the nod. "Take your right hand and stroke your cock from the base to the head."

~*~*~*~

At the stakeout, over fifteen miles from the loft, Jim squirmed in the tight confines of the truck, rubbing at his own aching groin. Since he and Blair had declared their love, Jim had barely been able to keep thoughts of the younger man from his mind during work. Now, with a long night ahead and nothing to occupy his thoughts, they had turned to the delicious body he had only begun to explore. "That's right, touch yourself, Babe. Ahhhh... feels so good," he crooned, listening to the rasp of flesh against flesh as Blair followed his instructions to the letter.

~*~*~*~

Back in the loft's bedroom, Blair gasped as his thumb brushed the sensitive head of his penis. "...feels so good," Jim was saying, urging him on. "Trace the slit with your fingernail, then coat the head with the pre-come." Blair did as he was told, eyes closed, shivering with the sensations as he imagined Jim touching him. No one could do this to him in quite this way. Jim wasn't even here, and Blair was already teetering near the brink of orgasm. "Your hand is coated with pre-come... Stroke it down the shaft, and then cup your balls in the palm of your hand. Roll one between your fingers... then the other..."

~*~*~*~

Jim spoke slowly, giving Blair ample time to accomplish the task. Soft sounds of mewling crossed the connection, turning into a full-throated moan as Blair's testicles tightened, preparing for orgasm. "I can't hold on much longer, man. I'm gonna... gonna..."

~*~*~*~

"Stroke your shaft," Jim continued. "Base to head... again..."

"Oh God, I'm going to come! Jim!"

"Squeeze, Sonqollay. Wrap your fingers around the shaft and milk it with your fingers." Jim's hand was inside his pants now, matching his words as he brought Blair home. "Ahhhhhhh!" An inarticulate scream came over the phone as Blair climaxed, bringing Jim with him soon after. "Oh God, Blair, I love you, Sonqollay. I love you," he panted. "I want you to do one more thing for me, okay?"

~*~*~*~

At the other end of the line, Blair let his eyes close, the languor of completion taking away his will to continue. "...one more thing for me, okay?" Noooo... Blair shook his head. "Come on, Sweetheart, this is important." Jim's voice continued to pry into his afterglow.

"What?" Blair finally asked, his voice low and soft.

"Coat the index finger of your right hand with the come, and touch yourself for me."

"Too tired," Blair complained. "Feel too good. Can't come again." His mind was fuzzy, and he felt warm and complete. He didn't understand why Jim wanted more.

"You need to do this for me, Love," Jim insisted. "You want me in you?"

"Yes! Yes..." Blair agreed, breathy with returning excitement.

"Then you have to touch yourself, prepare yourself for me. Coat your finger and slide it inside."

Blair's hand went between his spread legs, his fingers teasing his opening. A nugget of fear penetrated the fog of his post-coital glow. "Can't. I can't do that."

"Yes, you can. Do it for me, Sweetheart. Feel me inside you."

Jim's voice continued to urge him on. He felt his questing finger breach the tight ring of muscle. He tensed, gasping with pain.

"I know it hurts, Honey. I know," Jim assured him from across town. "You're still sore from last night. But you have to stay stretched, relaxed. Do this for me, please..."

~*~*~*~

In front of the old warehouse, Jim sat huddled in his car breathing heavily at the thought of Blair, naked and spread, with his finger up his ass, gasping his name. "Jim... Oh, Jim! I'm in; it's in. I feel you inside me. Jiiiimmm..."

"That's it, Baby. Good, good..." Jim continued to encourage his lover. He cursed Simon under his breath for assigning a nightlong surveillance now--now, when he needed to be with Blair. "Thrust it gently, in and out. That's it, good..." He could hear the slick sound of Blair fucking himself with his finger, slowly, as if unsure or unwilling. "You're so beautiful. Just look at you... flushed with arousal, perspiration making your body glow... Your hair fanned out on the pillow, your lips lush and ripe to be kissed." He sighed. He wanted nothing more than to be home kissing those willing lips.

~*~*~*~

Blair let his hand brush across his lips as Jim's words reached him. He almost dropped the phone that was wedged between his shoulder and jaw.

"Fuck yourself for me, Sweetheart. Reach deep, put in two fingers... Find the sweet spot for me, Baby... That's it. That's it..."

Tentatively, Blair inserted a second finger, moaning with a mixture of pleasure and pain as he continued to stretch himself. His fingers brushed across the gentle swell of his prostate, sending a bolt of arousal to his spent cock. The organ twitched, filling partially despite his recent orgasm. "Ohhh! Oh God!" Blair gasped, arching his lower back and raising his butt off the mattress. "Ohhhh... man. Oh, Jim! Ohhhhh...." His voice trailed off as his hand slipped free of his ass and he collapsed onto the mattress.

"Love you, Sonqollay. Love you so much," Jim whispered into the phone. "I'll be home soon. Wait for me."

~oO0Oo~

When Jim got home in the early hours of the morning, just before dawn, he found an enticing sight waiting for him. Blair had fallen asleep almost immediately after their lovemaking and was still sprawled, uncovered, on their bed.

Dried semen coated his chest and right hand. His flaccid penis lay to one side in a nest of dark, crinkly hair. His anus was still exposed and red from the workout it had been given. Blair's face was relaxed, all lines of care or worry wiped away in sleep. He barely looked twenty-two, instead of the actual twenty-nine years of his life. Wild curls splayed across the pillows, framing his face with a dark halo. He looked like a young prince waiting for that special kiss to awaken him. He was getting sappy, but he didn't care. Shedding his clothes quickly, he climbed into bed beside his lover, gathering him into his arms for a few hours extra sleep before the day began all over again.

~oO0Oo~

The day began late for Jim, who slept until nearly noon after his nightlong vigil. He awoke to the scent of coffee and grilled sandwiches wafting up from the kitchen. Looking over the railing, he was greeted by a pair of bright blue eyes and a wide smile.

"Get your lazy butt downstairs before the sandwiches burn," Blair called upstairs when he saw that Jim was awake. "I didn't think you were ever going to get up," he said a few minutes later when Jim, still ruffled from sleep, joined him at the table.

"It was a long night. What d'ya expect?" He scratched at a persistent itch on his chest, and then ran his fingers through his cropped hair before picking up his coffee mug and taking a warming sip.

"I missed you, that's all," Blair said softly. "Do you have to go out again tonight?"

"There was no action last night, so, yeah, I suppose I do," Jim said with a sigh. "I'd really rather stay home, but what excuse could I give? I can't let what's happening between us..." he waggled a finger back and forth between them, "get out around the bullpen."

"No, I suppose not," Blair agreed with a matching sigh.

Jim smiled and reached across the table to clasp Blair's hand. "So how was last night?"

Blair dropped his eyes to his plate, unwilling, for the moment, to meet the curious ones across the table from him. "I-It was different," he began carefully.

"You were so beautiful," Jim said softly, running his thumb over the back of Blair's hand. "I could hear everything: your heartbeat, your breathing, how you touched yourself, your moans... It was so beautiful."

"I've never done anything like that before," Blair admitted. "It felt strange, like having sex in public or something."

"You mean you've never touched yourself before?" Jim was startled by the admission. Every boy he'd ever known, including himself, had had fantasies while masturbating.

Blair looked up to meet Jim's eyes. "I've jerked off, if that's what you're asking," he admitted. "I've just never... like that..." He took a deep breath before continuing. "You called me something last night: Sonqollay. What does that mean?"

Jim's smile broadened. "It's Quechua for 'my beloved'. I thought you deserved something special for what you were giving to me."

A blush rose up Blair's neck to color his cheeks. "I like it," he said softly. "Jim... if you have to go out again tonight, are you going to call again?"

"If I can, without being overheard," Jim responded with a warm smile. "Would you like for me to call again?"

The blush deepened as Blair nodded. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"So," Jim said, releasing Blair's hand and sitting up straight. "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"I thought I'd just putter around the loft," Blair told him. "Maybe I'll start cleaning out my old bedroom to make that office space you promised. What time do you have to go in to work?"

"Not before five o'clock," Jim said. "It's Saturday, so there isn't anything else I have to do first."

"Call me tonight, even if we can't... you know...." Blair said, the blush rising in his cheeks again.

"Don't worry, Chief. I'll call," Jim assured him.

Blair got up to take his dishes to the sink, scraping the leftovers into the garbage disposal.

"You don't have to mess with that," Jim said, coming up behind him. "You fixed lunch. I'll clean up."

"Thanks. I'll go get started on the room," Blair agreed. Standing on his toes, he reached up, planting a firm kiss on Jim's lips. The mouth beneath his opened and strong arms wrapped around him, lifting him off the floor. When he was finally set down again, he was breathless. "I'll be waiting to hear from you."

~oO0Oo~

Jim left for the stakeout early in the evening. While he had been expecting it, there was an emptiness in the pit of Blair's stomach. It amazed him just how much this new love had taken over his life, right down to the physical sensations of loss and fulfillment. He could hardly drag his mind away from thoughts of Jim. This must be what true love feels like, he thought. And sometimes, it hurts.

He was considering calling it an early night. Nothing held his interest for long, and he was still sleepy after his late-night lovemaking session of the previous evening. He had just made his decision to go upstairs, when he heard the rasping of a key in the lock. Every nerve ending on alert, he stopped and slowly spun around to face the intruder.

"Jim! What are you doing home? I thought you had that stakeout!"

Jim's smile nearly split his face as he tossed his keys in the basket by the door and hung up his coat. "I talked Joel into taking my place tonight."

"How...?"

Striding across the room to gather Blair into his arms, he explained. "I told him you and I were having some 'issues' regarding your live-in status, and that I really didn't feel comfortable leaving you here alone."

"And he bought that?" Blair's voice held righteous indignation.

Jim chuckled. "Not completely. He stood up for you, actually, saying you wouldn't do anything to hurt me, and that he was more worried about you."

Blair returned the laugh. "Go, Joel!"

"But what I told him wasn't a lie," Jim said, backing Blair toward the stairs. "My main issue is the sleeping arrangements, and the fact that I want you in my bed every night for the rest of our lives. That, and I couldn't stand the idea of leaving you alone for another night."

Blair tripped over the first step, but was steadied by the strong arms that held him. He slowly made his way, backwards, up the stairs, trusting Jim to guide him safely. When they arrived at the bedroom, they quickly shed their clothes and fell onto the bed, Jim covering his younger lover like a living blanket.

Blair's arms snaked around his lover's back caressing the smooth skin. With a groan, Jim shifted, rolling onto his side and bringing Blair with him. Their mouths joined, tongues battling for dominance. When they finally pulled apart, Blair was breathless. "I want you tonight. I want you to make love to me."

Petting back the wild strands of hair from the high forehead, Jim smiled sweetly at his lover. "It's always love between us, Baby. I'm constantly making love to you." He leaned in to peck a small kiss on the tip of Blair's nose.

"Not like that, not what we've been doing," Blair clarified, a blush rising to his cheeks. "I want you inside me."

"Oh, Sonqollay... are you sure you're ready?" He took Blair's hand and, reaching between their bodies, placed it on his engorged penis. "I'm awfully large. It might be painful for you."

"I want this," Blair said, his voice pleading. "Please...."

"I want it, too," Jim confessed, his smile soft and loving. "But if we're going to do this, I want you well prepared. We're not going to rush, understand?"

Blair nodded, returning Jim's smile with a touch of nervous excitement.

Jim began his foreplay by leaving a trail of kisses down Blair's neck to the nest of hair on his chest. He covered one rosy nipple with his mouth, suckling until it was a tight nub and Blair was arching his back beneath the onslaught of pleasure. He abandoned the nipple, leaving it moist and contracted in the cool air, to move on to its mate.

Blair moaned and laced his fingers into Jim's hair, urging him to continue.

Jim's teeth teased the little nub, his tongue lapping at the sensitive tissue. Blair's hands were pushing against his head, so he bit down gently, nipping just enough to get a rise out of his partner.

"Oooohhh..." Blair howled, arching his back and then dropping back onto the bed, so that Jim's mouth separated from his nipple with a wet, popping sound. "Oh God, Jim! Watch it, will you? I damn near came!" he scolded.

"That's the idea," Jim said with a chuckle, reaching between Blair's legs to fondle his balls with one hand. Another gasp from Blair told him that he was doing a good job of priming his lover for what was to come. With a final lick and tweak to the twin peaks of Blair's nipples, he began to travel downward, leaving a wet trail of kisses to the valley of his lover's navel.

He twirled his tongue around the outer edge, before dipping in for a taste. Blair squirmed beneath him, thrusting his hips so that his erection bumped against Jim's cheek as he teased the sensitive depression.

"Patience, Sweetheart," Jim said, stroking the firm shaft. Finally, he finished his exploration and began to move lower. He kissed his way along the delicate skin in the crease between Blair's hip and groin, moving to his inner thigh.

Patience was not one of the virtues Blair had learned in the art of sex. Raising his hips, he ground his groin into Jim's face, his cock needy for attention. His moans became louder as his hands guided Jim's mouth back to the leaking head of his penis.

Jim's tongue darted out to taste the droplets of pre-come, his touch sending bolts of desire through the younger man's body. "Yes! Yes!" Blair cried, panting through his arousal. Cooperating, Jim allowed his lips to encompass the glans, suckling the organ as his tongue traced out the sensitive crease and the tiny hole that was leaking a constant stream of pre-seminal fluid.

Oh God, oh God, this is good, the thought flitted briefly through the small part of Blair's mind that was still functioning. Oh God, don't let this stop, don't let it end. "jjjjiiimmmm..." His voice was tight and small as his lover finally took his entire length into his throat. "Jim... oh, Jim... coming!" His final word was a strangled cry as his balls tightened and his cock let loose with burst after burst of hot semen.

Jim swallowed as quickly as he could, losing only a small amount of come as it dribbled from the corner of his lips. He suckled the spent organ, cleaning it with his tongue before letting it slide from between his lips. Pulling Blair close, he kissed his lover, letting Blair taste himself in Jim's mouth. "You are so beautiful, Sonqollay, so beautiful when you come for me," he whispered as they parted. "Are you ready for me now?" At Blair's slight nod, Jim reached for the lube on the nightstand, coating the fingers of his left hand.

"Relax for me, Babe. We'll start with my fingers." Blair nodded again, feeling too replete in his afterglow to speak. Jim teased the opening to Blair's body with a single finger, pleased to find the muscle relaxed and ready to accept him. He probed inside gently, inserting his finger slowly, knuckle by knuckle. A moan sounded from near the head of the bed, and Jim leaned in to silence it with a kiss.

Blair squirmed beneath him, thrusting his hips against the invading finger, trying to send it deeper. When Jim pulled out and then returned with two fingers, Blair groaned.

"Did I hurt you, Sweetheart?" Jim asked, concerned. He stopped the slow thrusting with his fingers buried deep in the tight, velvet heat. He wanted Blair as badly as he believed his young lover wanted him, but he was willing to slow down or stop, if that's what Blair wanted.

Blair arched into Jim's hand, his hips coming off the bed; his body was coated in a fine sheen of perspiration, his nipples dark and erect, his eyes even darker, flooded with desire. "Want you," he gasped. "Need you inside."

Jim slowly withdrew his fingers and encouraged Blair to roll onto his side.

"No. Facing me. Face-to-face, Jim; I need to see you." Deep within the fire of Blair's eyes lurked the demon of fear. "I need to know that it's you fucking me," he pleaded.

"Oh, Baby...." Jim crooned, his voice was ragged with unshed tears over Blair's near miss as a child. "I'd never hurt you. I'd never take you against your will. You'd be more comfortable on your side."

"Just the first time," Blair pleaded. "I need to make new memories."

"Just the first time," Jim repeated, moving between Blair's spread legs. He helped his lover lift his knees to hook over Jim's shoulders. Then, tearing at the foil wrapper, he took a condom and rolled it down his impressive length. "I'm going to add some extra lube," he said softly, spreading the gel on his fingers and pressing it into Blair's opening. He then generously coated his cock before positioning himself for entrance.

"I love you so much, Sonqollay." Jim steadied Blair's hips with his hands and began to slowly push his way inside. Blair's discomfort was obvious from the ragged way he tried to control his breathing, gasping little bursts of air each time Jim advanced. He had little more than the head of his cock buried when he heard the cry.

"Ah! Ohhh!" More little gasps of air. "Unh... uh... owwww..."

"Blair? Are you all right, Babe?" Jim asked, moving one hand to lovingly caress the flushed face of his partner. Blair's eyes were squeezed shut and he was fighting to relax.

"Hurts." The word erupted from Blair's lips, followed by a moan. "Does it always hurt like this?"

"A little, at first," Jim admitted, stroking sweat-matted hair off Blair's forehead. His position, with Blair's legs already pressed to their limit, didn't allow him to bend down for the kiss he craved to give his lover. "Do you want me to stop?"

Blair shook his head. He wanted this, had wanted this for a very long time, and he was determined to see it through. Other men did this and enjoyed it, so why couldn't he? "Just go slow," he admonished, consciously taking a deeper breath to relax. Already the pain was abating, ebbing back to the fringes of his mind.

Jim adjusted his angle slightly, resuming his supporting hold on Blair's hips. He pushed deeper, keeping a close eye on his lover's expressive face. Whenever a grimace, no matter how slight, pursed the full lips, he would stop and wait until Blair could adjust.

"Feels like... feels like y-you're shoving a broomstick up my ass," Blair panted, trying to smile.

"I know. I know, Love. Just relax I'm almost..." He paused, pushing against the resistance of Blair's muscles. "Almost... there!" Jim sighed as his balls finally made contact with Blair's butt.

Silence reigned for several heartbeats before either man spoke again.

"Oh, God..." Blair said, his voice breathy. "It's incredible." And it was. All pain was banished with the fulfillment of his fondest desire.

Jim's smile was beatific. Slowly, he pulled out a short way and slid back in, lengthening the stroke with each gentle thrust. He watched Blair's face as it blossomed with renewed passion and need. The spent cock, which had shown no interest in the proceedings up to this point, was beginning to swell with arousal.

Blair gripped the sheets with white-knuckled fists, trying to find the leverage he needed to meet Jim's increased thrusting with his own. His cock filled rapidly and was now aching with need. A garbled cry escaped his throat when Jim began to stroke the organ in time with his internal rhythm. He spiraled higher and higher as the double onslaught pushed him inevitably toward his climax.

Traitorous thoughts flitted briefly through a mind whose owner had known few constants in his life. Too good. God, this is too good. Please don't let this end. I love you. I love you. I love you, Blair's mind whispered, as his voice had been stolen from him. Too good to last. Oh, God... let it last.

A ragged cry, ripped from a throat closed down with emotion, echoed through the loft as Blair came for the second time that night, his penis spewing pulsing spurts of hot semen over his chest and Jim's hand.

A matching groan was wrung from Jim, as the walls of Blair's rectum squeezed relentlessly against his own aching cock. His final thrusts were hard and fast, his orgasm claiming him with Blair's name on his lips.

Both men collapsed in a sated heap, Blair's legs sliding limply from Jim's sagging shoulders. The bigger man pulled out gently, disposing of the used condom in a bedside trashcan before gathering his lover into his arms. He cradled Blair against his chest and placed a soft kiss on top of the head of curls.

Blair sighed with contentment. "Never leave me," he whispered. "Promise that you'll never leave."

"I want you more than anything," Jim responded, equally soft, burying his face in the mass of sweaty brown curls. "Promise me you'll never leave." His own demons rose to cast doubt on the perfection of their completed love act.

"I promise."

The whisper was so soft, only a Sentinel could have heard and understood, but the declaration found its way to Jim's heart, strengthening his resolve. He pulled his lover closer, and they settled in to sleep.

~oO0Oo~

The following morning, Blair slipped out of bed and crept as quietly as he could down the stairs. Putting the coffee on to brew, he went into the bathroom and began to run the water for a hot shower. Certain muscles, unused to their new activity, were aching and stiff. Combined with the dried semen he had been too tired to wash away the night before, he was ripe for a thorough cleansing.

Stepping into the shower, he turned his face into the steaming spray to wash away the sleep and wet his hair. As he groped for the shampoo, his hand encountered another body occupying space in his immediate vicinity. He blindly felt his way up a chiseled chest to a strong jaw, still rough with morning beard.

"You didn't actually think you could get up and shower without waking me, did you?" Jim asked.

Blair sputtered, wiping the water from his eyes. "Hey, Jim! Sorry," he apologized. "I tried to be quiet."

"It's okay," Jim assured him, reaching for the shampoo and pouring some into his palm. Reaching up, he began to massage Blair's scalp; enjoying the feel of the silken curls between his fingers. "I needed to get up, anyway."

Blair tipped his head back toward Jim, closing his eyes again and enjoying the sweet sensation of his partner's gentle touch. "Oh, man...." he moaned. "That feels so good."

"So does this," Jim added, rubbing his erection against Blair's ass.

"Oh, yes!" Blair agreed, pushing back against the hard column of flesh.

Jim buried his cock in the crack between Blair's ass cheeks and pulled the slender body against his chest. Blair tipped his head back to rest on Jim's shoulder. Heedless of the shampoo still clinging to his lover's hair, Jim dove in to the soft flesh of Blair's exposed neck, peppering him with kisses while his hands roamed first to the hard nipples jutting from the curls of chest hair to Blair's cock, standing firm against his stomach.

"Oh, God... yes!" Blair moaned at the touch.

Jim wrapped his hand around the organ, giving it a firm squeeze before sliding his hand up and down its length. He began a gentle rhythm with his hips, rubbing himself against Blair, while matching the motion with his hand on Blair's cock. He continued to kiss the tempting neck and shoulder, nibbling on a ring-laced ear, before capturing the parted lips in a kiss.

Blair's orgasm raced through him. He arched his back and cried out as his penis pulsed in Jim's hand, spraying them both with creamy semen. Moments later, Jim followed him over the edge.

Sated, the two men let the water wash over them, rinsing the shampoo from Blair's waterlogged hair. As the temperature cooled, they quickly finished cleaning and climbed out of the tub.

Jim reached for a towel and began squeezing the excess water from Blair's hair, while Blair rubbed himself down before wrapping a towel around his waist.

"We need to talk." Jim's soft voice came from behind Blair.

The anthropologist turned around, looking at Jim in surprise. "Uh, sure; whatever you say. Think we could get a cup of coffee first?"

Jim nodded and finished drying off, then slipped into his robe and headed out of the bathroom toward the kitchen. Blair grabbed his own robe from the back of the door and hurried to follow.

"What's up?" He took the offered mug of coffee, keeping his eyes averted from Jim's face. The older man walked into the living room area and settled on the couch.

"Come over here."

Almost reluctantly, Blair made his way to the sofa and sat down next to Jim. Uh oh, here it comes. Nervously, he sipped at his coffee.

"I've got some things I need to tell you," Jim began.

I knew it! He's going to end it. Blair thought, studying the deep brown color of his morning caffeine; keeping his eyes downcast. Nothing this good is ever permanent. I just hope he doesn't ask me to leave.

"You know I've had trouble with relationships in the past," Jim began.

Here it comes.

"My mom left when Steven and I were little. Dad did his best to raise us; I know that now. But he did a lousy job. After all these years, Steven and I are just getting to know each other again." Jim was staring down at his hands, which were wrapped firmly around the hot mug of coffee.

"What your father did was wrong," Blair agreed. "He pitted the two of you against each other. It's his fault you and Steven separated."

"He just wanted to make sure we were ready," Jim explained, glancing up at his companion. "In the real world, life is rarely fair. He wanted us to get a taste of that before we went out on our own."

"But that's just cruel," Blair argued. "Home is supposed to be where you're safe, sheltered... loved."

"Yeah, well, my dad wasn't too big on the love thing." Jim sighed. "Then there was Carolyn. We tried to make it work... but two professionals.... We never saw much of each other, except at work. After a while, it became obvious that all we had in common was work.

"The women I've dated since--" Jim stopped to take a sip of his coffee, "were either assassins, thieves or married to the mob. I just don't seem to do relationships very well."

So you want to break off ours... before you get hurt again. Blair was silent, waiting for the inevitable rejection. Finally, when nothing more seemed to be forthcoming, he took a deep breath and plunged in. "If you want to call it off--"

"What?" Jim's head jerked up and he stared at Blair. "Who said anything about calling it off? Do you want to leave, Sandburg? Do you want out?"

"Whoa!" Blair said, holding up both hands. "Who said anything about wanting out? I never left you, not on my own. You threw me out; I didn't want to go."

Jim hung his head, remembering the incident with Alex Barnes and his treatment of his friend. What he had done, with the misconceived idea of protecting Blair, had almost gotten the anthropologist killed. It had gotten him killed, he remembered with remorse. "I was wrong. I did all the wrong things for what I thought were the right reasons. You didn't need protecting... until I forced you out." He ran his hand through his short-cropped hair. "See what I mean? I screw up every relationship I've ever been in."

Blair set his coffee on the table and sidled closer to the Sentinel. He picked up Jim's free hand, cradling it in both of his. "This is a new start, Jim. You haven't screwed anything up, and I have no plans for leaving. You'll have to knock me unconscious and toss me off the balcony to get rid of me." He watched Jim smile slightly at the image he had painted. "So, what is it you want? What do you need to make this work?"

Jim stared at Blair for a long while, collecting his thoughts. The young man sat silently, waiting with a patience Jim didn't know that he possessed. Finally, he spoke. "I need a commitment--an honest-to-God 'to have and to hold from this day forth, until death do us part' kind of thing. Nobody else in either of our lives ever again. Just you and me."

"I can do that," Blair whispered, awed by the intensity of the man beside him. "Do you want a token of my promise?"

"Like what?" Jim asked, surprised by the question.

"I dunno. A ring or something?"

"No rings, Sandburg. This has got to stay between the two of us." Jim shook his head. "If it ever got out at the station that I was banging you, half the precinct would be out to publicly nail our hides to the wall."

A little of the bounce began to return to the spunky anthropologist as an idea entered his mind. "How about nipple rings? Only we'd know."

"I'm not getting my nipple pierced for anyone, Sandburg--including you!" Jim hissed.

"All right! All right!" Blair held up his hands again and physically backed off a few inches. "What, then?"

Jim shook his head. "Just your word is good enough for me. The government doesn't recognize same-sex marriages, so there's no point in some hokey ceremony. Just promise me."

"I do."

"Yeah, me too." Jim gathered Blair into his arms and sealed their commitment with a kiss.

~oO0Oo~

The following Friday, Jim walked into the loft to the smell of Wonder Burgers and fries. "Mmmm.... What's the occasion?" he asked, as Blair took the food out of the oven where he'd been keeping their dinner warm, and placed it on plates at the table.

"It's not every day a guy gets married," Blair responded with a grin. "I wanted to celebrate, even if I am a few days late."

Blair was practically bouncing in place. "Why don't you open it and find out?"

Carefully, Jim pulled up the flap and took out the enclosed document. He stared at it with wide eyes. "What is this?" he repeated.

"Well," Blair began, his hands dancing in front of him as he spoke. "I thought it might be nice to have some concrete token that I take our promise seriously. Besides, I never had a middle name before."

Jim stared at the paper--a legal change-of-name document. In the space designated for the name change was "Blair Ellison Sandburg."

"How did you do this so fast?" he asked, awed by the document. "No government office puts paperwork through that quickly."

"One of the clerks down at the County office owed me a favor," Blair explained, smiling. "I don't expect you do the same," he hastened to add. "I just wanted you to know, I'm not leaving."

Jim put the paper down, his eyes misted with emotion. "Blair Ellison Sandburg... I love you."

~oO0Oo~

The weekend had flown by. Monday afternoon, Blair looked out over the class of freshman anthropologist wannabes. "Read chapters five and six for Wednesday's class, and answer the essay questions at the end of both chapters." He gathered his notes, stuffing them into his backpack as the students filed out of the lecture hall.

"Mr. Sandburg?" A petite young woman stood tentatively near the podium.

"Hey, Katie! What do you need?"

"Are you in a hurry?"

Blair pulled his watch from his pocket and checked the time. "Well, uh... yeah, a bit. Can we make it quick?" He began walking toward the door, Katie in tow.

"I was a little confused in class, and I wondered if we could have a talk? Maybe over a cup of coffee at the student center?"

"I suppose," Blair agreed. "But I have to meet my partner at the PD by five o'clock."

At 4:30, it was already getting dark outside as Blair and the young woman exited Hargrove Hall. He shivered as the cold January wind cut through the warm coat Jim had given him for Christmas. They headed around the building, taking a common shortcut between the university buildings to the student center.

Slipping from the shadows behind the building, four young men blocked their path. Katie went white, bolting back the way they had come at the sight of the campus bullies. "Where do you think you're going, fag?" asked a well-muscled youth in a football jacket. He reached out to push against Blair's shoulder.

"Hey! Cut it out!" Blair barked back, shrugging away from the touch and backing up a step.

"I asked you where you're going," the young man said, advancing on Blair as the others fanned out to surround him.

"None of your damn business." Blair looked around, noting that Katie was safely gone, but that his own avenue of escape was cut off.

The bully held up a copy of the Cascade Herald, folded to the page that listed county records. Under name changes was listed "Blair Ellison Sandburg."

"You took the name of your cop boyfriend," the man sneered. "You married?" As he spoke, the circle around Blair tightened until all four men brushed against him. "Does he fuck you every night? I'll bet he makes you moan."

One of the other young men chuckled. "Good one, Carl." He shoved at Blair from behind. "Yeah, I'll bet he pistol-whips you with his cock until you beg for it in your ass."

Blair took a deep breath, shaken by the accusations. "What would you know about it? And why do you care?"

"Queers have got no business teaching good Christian students," Carl spat. "And we're going to make sure that you don't."

"Wait a minute," Blair said, holding up his hands defensively, trying to back away. The wall of flesh behind him stopped his motion. "I've got no beef with you guys. If you have a problem with my teaching, take it up with the Dean or the Chancellor." He squirmed, trying to find an opening for escape.

"Takes too long," Carl snarled. "And meanwhile, you Homos are polluting the minds of impressionable freshmen."

"I'm not polluting anyone," Blair exclaimed. "I teach Anthropology!"

"Shut him up, Ray," Carl ordered.

The man named Ray took a roll of duct tape from his pocket and tore off a strip, covering Blair's mouth. As the anthropologist struggled, the four assailants stripped him down to his underwear and began pummeling him. A vicious fist to the solar plexus brought Blair to his knees. He was soon on the ground, his hands bound behind his back; his ankles taped together as well.

Helpless, Blair watched as the students picked up baseball bats from where they'd left them next to the building, and began the beating in earnest.

~oO0Oo~

Jim had closed a major case and handed in his paperwork early for a change. As a reward, Simon had chased him from the bullpen. Knowing that Blair was planning to meet him at the station, Jim decided to drive by the university in hopes of catching his lover before he left.

As the university came into view, his radio crackled to life. "Assault in progress. Rainier University." He picked up the radio. "David one-five-two, on the scene," he barked. "Got any more information for me?" As he spoke, he pulled into a parking space in front of the building. Sandburg's old Volvo was still parked nearby.

"A student beating behind Hargrove Hall," the dispatcher clarified.

"Show me handling the call... and get me backup!" Jim growled into the microphone. He tossed the mic onto the seat of the truck as he banged the door open and headed at full speed around the building.

He dialed up his sight as he ran into the darkness of the backside of the building. He could see a pale figure huddled on the ground, four dark shapes bent over it. "Stop! Police!" he shouted, holding out his badge and grabbing his gun as he ran.

The four men scattered as he approached, so Jim was forced to circle around, trying to cut them off. Minutes later, other officers swarmed the scene, and within a half an hour all four assailants were rounded up and placed into patrol cars.

Jim walked back to where the victim had lain. A uniformed officer stood on the spot, writing in his notebook. An ambulance was pulled up beside the building and the paramedics were just closing the doors. As he watched, the emergency vehicle headed out, lights flashing and sirens blaring.

Jim turned to the officer. "Do we have an identification on the victim?"

"Yeah. We found this." The officer pulled open a familiar worn wallet and took out a driver's license. "Blair Sandburg..." Before the man could say more, Jim was off like a flash, running to the parking lot.

He leaped into the truck, jerking the door shut and jamming his key into the ignition. Gunning the engine, he turned on his own lights and siren, peeling out of the lot to follow the ambulance. Picking up the microphone, he called Dispatch. "This is Detective Ellison. I need the destination of the ambulance from Rainier."

"They were directed to Mercy, Detective," the dispatcher answered.

Jim swerved through traffic, taking a sharp left turn on a red light to the screech of brakes and blare of horns from other drivers. Too long. It was taking too long. He pounded a fist against the steering wheel, growling and willing the traffic out of his way. Eventually, he pulled into the parking lot of Mercy General and barreled through the doors of the emergency room.

"Blair Sandburg," he stated, skidding to a stop before the admissions desk. "He was just brought in by ambulance. A beating victim."

"We have an unidentified beating victim in Trauma Room 2 right now," the receptionist told him. "No! Wait! You can't go back there!" She ran after Jim, who had charged passed her and muscled his way through the trauma room's door.

"Blair?" Jim's voice grew softer as he took in the battered face of his young lover as doctors and nurses labored over him.

"You know this man?" the attending physician asked.

"He's my partner," Jim answered, still in shock. "I'm Detective Ellison, Cascade PD." He held up his badge. "That man is Blair Sandburg. How is he, Doc? How badly was he hurt?"

"He's pretty banged up," the doctor informed him. "Bruising indicates he was badly beaten around the head and abdominal area--probably kicked once he was down."

"Doctor!" one of the nurses shouted. "Blood pressure is 110 over 60 and dropping. He's having trouble breathing."

"I'm sorry," the doctor said to Jim. "You'll have to wait out in the lobby." With that, he turned back to his patient, beginning the intubation procedure and issuing orders. "Get this man to x-ray. I want films of his head and abdomen." Turning to another doctor he ordered, "Type and cross match four units of blood. It's likely we have a ruptured spleen on our hands."

Stunned, Jim moved slowly out into the waiting room. He was too upset to sit still, so he began pacing the room. At the far end, in a small alcove, was a bank of pay phones. He made his way over to one and called the station.

"Simon? Yeah, it's me, Jim. Simon... Blair's been hurt. We're at Mercy General."

"Aw, shit! How bad?" came the gruff voice over the phone.

"I don't know yet. They're taking him into surgery now," Jim told his captain. "I got a look at him. It's pretty bad, sir."

"What the hell happened?" Simon roared into the receiver.

Jim pulled the phone away from his ear before speaking. "Gang beating behind Hargrove," he said. "The kid's all black and blue. His left eye was swollen shut."

"Shit! WHY?" the captain growled. Jim could hear the rustling of paper in the background. "Never mind," Simon sighed. "I'll be right there. Wait for me."

"I'll be here, sir." Jim hung up the phone and resumed his nervous pacing.

Twenty minutes later, Simon arrived. "Any news yet?"

Jim shook his head. "They've only been in surgery a half an hour. Nothing yet."

"Jim, why would a bunch of students suddenly decide to gang up on a popular teacher and beat him to a pulp?" the captain asked.

"I don't know, sir," Jim said.

Simon held out that day's copy of the Cascade Herald, folded to the page with county records. "Could this have something to do with it?"

Jim took the paper and stared with growing horror at the listing: Name changes in the past seven days--Blair Ellison Sandburg. "God dammit it to hell!" he exploded, throwing the paper down.

"Easy, Jim," Simon soothed, physically restraining his distraught detective. "Care to explain things?"

"How many people have seen this?" Jim asked.

"Oh, I suspect just about everybody, by now," Simon told him. "There's a lot of speculation running rampant at the station."

"I can imagine."

"Does this mean what I think it means?" the captain asked.

"Probably." Jim sank into one of the molded plastic chairs, all the fight drained from him.

Simon took the seat next to his detective. "How long?"

Resting his elbows on his knees, Jim let his head sink into his hands. "Just since New Year's Eve," he confessed. "It's not like either of us saw it coming."

"So why would Sandburg do something stupid like this?" Simon asked.

Jim shook his head. "Wasn't thinking, I guess; or he didn't know it would be published."

"But why?" Simon repeated.

Jim lifted his head from his hands to look at his captain and friend. "We realized right away that it was right, Simon," he said. "So we sort of promised each other we'd stay committed."

"Sort of?" Simon looked skeptical.

"We exchanged vows... sort of," Jim stammered. "This was Sandburg's way of making the deal more permanent, I guess."

"And now he's taken a hit from some homophobic group of students." Simon sighed, staring down at his folded hands. "I'm really sorry, Jim. This never should have happened."

"I wanted it to remain our secret," Jim confessed. "But I was flattered when he showed me the document. Nobody's ever cared for me that much before. Even Carolyn kept her own name." He took a deep breath. "What's being said behind our backs at the station?"

"Well," Simon said, taking a breath of his own. "Your friends weren't totally surprised, although I think they're a little hurt you didn't confide in them. They're getting over it. Some of the others are muttering homophobic crap, but I wouldn't worry about it. Despite the rumors, Sandburg's popular. Once people hear he's been hurt over this, attitudes will change. You'll see."

"I hope so, Simon," Jim replied. "I want Blair to be able to come into the station without having to look over his shoulder. And I certainly won't be taking any crap from anyone."

"Nobody expects you to," Simon soothed.

The two men fell silent, watching the slow and quiet ticking of the clock on the wall.

~oO0Oo~

"Detective Ellison?" the doctor from the trauma room walked into the lobby, wiping his hands on bloody scrubs.

Jim stood up to greet him. "How's Blair? Can I see him?"

The doctor cleared his throat. "It was touch-and-go there for a while," he admitted. "Mr. Sandburg's spleen had ruptured, so we had to remove it. He required a transfusion of three units of blood." He stopped to check Blair's chart. "There's a hairline fracture of the orbit above his left eye, as well. As a result, his eye will be swollen shut for a few weeks." He looked up at Jim. "When he recovers, I would recommend a thorough eye exam. There's a possibility that he could have permanent damage to his vision in that eye. Only an exam can tell us for certain. Also, his left arm was broken. It looks like it was a defensive wound, before his hands were bound behind his back. Because the break was twisted, it resulted in a compound fracture." Jim listened intently as the doctor continued his laundry list of Blair's injuries. "There's deep bruising over eighty percent of his body. He's going to be very tender for a long while, I'm afraid. The worst of the bruising was concentrated on his face and genitals."

"Oh, God," Jim groaned, wincing at the pronouncement. "Is he...? Will he be all right?"

"Until the swelling goes down, it's too early to say. There's a good chance that everything will heal with normal function," the doctor answered, his voice soft with sympathy.

"Is that everything?" Jim asked. The doctor looked at his chart and nodded. "Can I see him now?"

"He's still in recovery," the doctor answered. "Give us an hour to monitor his condition and get him settled in a room."

Jim slumped back into one of the plastic chairs. Simon approached the doctor. "Thanks, Doctor...?"

"Welby," the man filled in with a slight grin. "No cracks about the name, all right?"

Simon returned the smile with a measure of relief. "Thank you, Dr. Welby. We appreciate the news." As the doctor turned to go back on duty, Simon settled next to his detective.

"It's going to be all right, Jim. You'll see," Simon comforted.

~oO0Oo~

Jim sat next to the still figure in the bed, his hand covering the one that lay upon the blanket. A small moan caught his attention. He stood and leaned over the bruised face.

"Blair? Are you awake, Sweetheart?"

Blair's left eye was swollen shut, covered with bandages and a makeshift patch. His right eye, also black and blue, slit open to look at Jim. "Jim?" The battered lips barely moved, but the Sentinel heard his name: the most precious sound he had ever heard.

"Yeah, it's me, Sonqollay," he answered, squeezing Blair's free hand. "I know it probably doesn't seem like it right now, but you're going to be all right." Blair's one eye blinked slowly. "Do you remember anything that happened?"

"Yeah," the soft voice responded. "Beaten 'cause I'm gay."

Jim brushed a wisp of hair from Blair's forehead, almost afraid to touch his lover for fear of inflicting more pain. "That about sums it up," Jim agreed. "We caught all four of them."

"Good."

"Oh, God, Blair! For a while, I was afraid I was going to lose you."

"Never, man. I promised not to leave." Jim felt the barely-there squeeze of his own hand as he held on tight.

"That's right," Jim agreed, his eyes tearing up and his voice choking as he spoke. "And I'm going to hold you to it."

Blair's eye closed, and the young man sighed. "I'm so tired...."

"Then sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up." Jim bent down to kiss the broad forehead, before settling back into his chair again.

~oO0Oo~

Nine days later, Jim stood by the side of Blair's bed as the young man attempted to pull on enough clothes to make the trip home.

"Aw, geez.... Ow!"

"Come on, Blair; we have to get you dressed if you want to go home," Jim reminded him.

"I know; I know. But getting dressed never hurt like this before." Blair eased himself into the baggiest jeans Jim could find to bring, but as he attempted to zip the fly he let out another curse. "Damn! Jim, think anyone would mind if I left the fly open?"

"You're not wearing underwear, either, G.I. Joe. I think someone might notice," Jim commented.

"Some sympathetic partner you are!" Blair groused, having had an equally difficult time getting a shirt on with the cast and sling on his left arm. "Can we just throw a blanket in my lap?"

"Sit down," Jim commanded. Blair lowered himself slowly into the wheelchair, while Jim got a blanket from the room's closet and laid it with great care across Blair's lap. "Now we can get on those shoes and socks."

"That's one area that isn't bruised, at least," Blair said with some relief. He cooperated by lifting his feet as Jim knelt to finish dressing him.

"For which we can be forever grateful," Jim said with a whimsical smile and not a little helping of honesty.

"So, are we all dressed and ready to go?" An all-too-perky nurse sailed into their room and gave Blair a final quick check.

"Yes," Blair answered with a shade of sarcasm lacing his voice. "We are ready to go."

Jim walked beside his partner as the nurse wheeled Blair to the elevator, then down the hallway to the pick-up entrance. "Don't go anywhere," he admonished. "I'll be right back with the car."

"Aw, Jim," Blair pouted. "I was gonna ask Patricia, here, for a date!"

Jim shook his head, a big smile plastered across his face, and went to fetch the truck. Minutes later, he pulled up at the loading ramp and helped Patricia get his clumsy partner loaded into the passenger seat.

"It's gonna be so good to be home," Blair sighed as they pulled out into traffic. "You're going to have to help me up the stairs to bed, though. I can barely move."

"Not going to be a problem for me," Jim told him. "Simon has given me a week off to help you get settled at home."

"That was nice of him," Blair said with a small grin. "So he took the news all right?"

While Blair had been hospitalized, Jim had avoided talking about the unintentional outing of their relationship, but once the release papers had been signed, he felt obligated to mention it. "As well as can be expected. I don't think he wholly approves, but he likes both of us well enough to let it slide. So long as we don't rub it in his face, he'll be fine with it."

"And everyone else?"

"I don't know. I haven't been back to the station since I found out about the listing in the paper," Jim admitted.

"I'm really sorry." Blair took a deep breath and blew it out. "I forgot all about the county listing stuff like that in the paper. I guess the information runs for at least a full week. I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"We all make mistakes, and you certainly paid for this one," Jim said. "You meant well, and the gesture really meant a lot to me." He carefully placed a hand on Blair's knee as he drove. "Not even Carolyn took my name when we were married."

"Really? I didn't know that!" Blair was astonished. "It seems like such a little thing. Besides, I didn't give up my name or identity; just added yours." He smiled as best he could with bruised and swollen lips.

"That's more than anyone else ever did," Jim repeated. He fell silent then, pulling into the parking lot beside the loft's building. Sliding out of the driver's seat, he went around the front of the truck to Blair's door, helping the young man down. He slipped his jacket off and tied the sleeves around Blair's waist, covering his front for the walk into the building.

They took the elevator up. Blair walked slowly and with some difficulty, but he managed to navigate the hallway. He walked into the apartment with an air of relief. "God, it feels good to be home!"

Jim helped him across the room and settled his partner on the couch. "Can I get anything for you?"

"I'd like to get out of these clothes and into something more comfortable, like my robe," Blair told him.

Jim knelt down and slipped off Blair's shoes. "We'll leave the socks, so your feet don't get cold."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll get your robe." Jim stood and headed for the bathroom where Blair's robe hung on the back of the door, right where he'd left it over nine days ago. Bringing it back, he began to carefully undress the younger man.

"Owowowowow..." Blair muttered under his breath as Jim slowly and methodically stripped him. He sucked in his breath and held it while Jim eased the shirt off past his cast and over his head. When the softness of the fleece robe was finally wrapped around him, he sighed. "Hold me?"

Gingerly, Jim wrapped an arm around Blair's shoulders and pulled him close. Blair rested his head against Jim's chest, snuggling into the embrace. There was no place to touch his lover that didn't hurt, Jim knew, but Blair desperately needed to be held and loved. His other arm reached around the cumbersome cast until he had the young man in a loose hug. He placed a kiss on top of the head of curls, and heard a soft sigh of contentment.

"I love you, Jim."

"Love you too, Humpty Dumpty."

"Hey," Blair said, tilting his head up to look at Jim. "I disclaim that nickname. I've been put back together again. It's just going to take some time before I appreciate it."

"Appreciate this." Jim leaned down and very carefully pressed his lips against Blair's. The young man opened his mouth, allowing Jim's exploring tongue to enter.

Blair pressed himself against Jim, allowing Jim's arms to tighten around him. He threw himself into the kiss, until the pain grew to more than he could tolerate. An anguished moan climbed up his throat, causing Jim to release his hold and back away.

"God, Blair! Why didn't you say I was hurting you?" Jim's anger flared briefly, misdirected at the victim.

"It's okay, Jim," Blair said, cuddling back against Jim's chest. "It's just the way it is, for now. It'll get better."

Jim allowed his arms to wrap back around the battered man. "Not soon enough for me," he muttered.

They stayed that way on the couch for over an hour. No more talking, just holding and snuggling. Blair was hungry for the comfort, for the safe harbor of his lover's arms. Finally, he roused from a drowsy stupor.

"Blair? What's the matter?" Jim frowned as his lover pushed away and attempted to stand.

"Gotta take a leak," Blair murmured, shuffling painfully toward the bathroom.

Jim was immediately up and at his side. "Let me help. You shouldn't be up on your own, yet."

"Thanks, Jim." Blair leaned heavily against his partner.

Jim steered Blair into the bathroom, then backed off to give the young man a modicum of privacy. Blair turned around, lifted his robe and sat on the toilet, unwilling to handle his swollen and aching penis. Jim winced when a whimper issued from Blair's throat, as the gentle sound of tinkling water filled the room. What kind of justice was it that let four assailants languish in jail in perfect health, while their innocent victim couldn't even pee without crying?

The sound of shuffling feet brought his attention back to more immediate matters. "All done?" Blair nodded. "Well, how about something to eat? What would you like?"

"Just a sandwich would be fine," Blair answered, steering toward the dining table.

"Hold up a minute," Jim said, as Blair prepared to sit. The young man watched, perplexed, while Jim ran upstairs. He came down moments later with a pillow. He pulled out a chair, placed the pillow on the seat and patted it. "Put it there, Chief."

Blair grinned. "You think of everything."

"I try."

Once Blair was settled, Jim went into the kitchen and began to prepare sandwiches for both of them. As he worked, he brought up a painful subject. "You know, the trial for the kids who beat you is coming up." He looked up at his partner. "You're going to be asked to testify. Think you can do it?"

"Do I have a choice?" Blair looked glum.

"Not if you want them put away," Jim replied.

"They're just kids, Jim. What're they going to get for this? A couple years? Meanwhile, I have to live with the consequences." Blair raised a hand to his left eye, fingering the patch.

"They're all at least twenty," Jim reminded him. "Young, yes, but not kids. This is felony assault, Blair. We're pushing to put these kids away."

Blair sighed. "I'll do whatever I have to do, I guess."

"Good, because I want to see these guys get everything that's coming to them for what they did to you. Damn the consequences," Jim spat.

~oO0Oo~

The afternoon passed quietly; Blair tried catching up on reading some journal articles, while Jim flipped through the TV channels, looking for something that wasn't a soap opera or game show.

After dinner, the couple settled together on the couch to watch basketball. Blair snuggled as close as his cast and assorted bandages would allow. "It's great to be home," he sighed.

"It's great having you home," Jim agreed, wrapping an arm around Blair's shoulders.

The brief exchange ended in a gentle kiss before the TV announcer began the introduction of the teams' starting lineups. Blair rested his head against Jim's shoulder as the men turned their attention to the game. By halftime, his soft snores echoed through the loft.

"Hey, buddy," Jim said, nudging the sleeping body next to him. "Time to hit the sack."

"Huh?" Blair looked up, still a bit fuzzy from sleep.

Jim jockeyed for position, supporting Blair as he moved away and stood up. "I said, it's time for you to get to bed." He helped Blair to stand, and then wrapped an arm around his waist as the young man shuffled toward the stairs.

The walk up the steep flight took several minutes, with Blair collapsing in exhaustion by the time they reached the top. Jim stripped his partner of the robe he'd worn all day, and helped roll him over to his side of the bed. "Don't forget this," he added, handing Blair a portable urinal the hospital had sent home for his use. "It's too hard getting you up and down the stairs."

"Tell me about it," Blair groused, trying to find a comfortable position. His only options were his right side or his back; the cast on his left arm making any position difficult. He finally opted for curling onto his side, his back to Jim.

Jim stripped quickly and climbed in beside Blair. He scooted close, spooning his body against his lover's. The soft sigh that escaped from Blair's lips made him smile. Despite the pain from the bruising and other injuries, he still welcomed Jim's touch. It would be a long while before Blair's battered body could respond sexually, but that didn't matter now. All that mattered was that the young man was alive, safe, and back in Jim's life.

~oO0Oo~

Two weeks later, the bruises were healing, but Blair still sported bright yellow and green splotches across the most deeply affected areas of his body. He eased into the suit Jim had laid out for him, anxious about the day's proceedings.

"You about ready?" Jim called up from the kitchen. "I've got some breakfast here. You really should eat."

"I'm not all that hungry," Blair admitted, making his way slowly down the stairs.

"It's going to be hell in court today," Jim reminded him. "You're going to have to face those bozos and tell what happened to you. You're going to need your strength."

"I suppose," Blair reluctantly agreed, sitting at the table.

Jim brought over oatmeal with sliced bananas and some toast. "Coffee or milk?"

"Coffee," Blair said with a grin. "I'm going to need all the fortification I can get."

Jim settled across from Blair and began eating his own breakfast. "Just tell the truth," he said.

"But what if the defense lawyer brings up... us?" Blair asked nervously.

"Oh, undoubtedly he will," Jim confirmed. "It's his job to make you look dirty and his clients justified."

"There is no justification for this," Blair said, a hint of anger coloring his voice as his right hand swept down and across his body, indicating his injuries.

"Of course not!" Jim agreed. "But that won't stop him from trying to make you look like you asked for it."

Blair sighed. "I really screwed up with that name change, didn't I? I never thought about the newspaper. God, what an idiot! I might as well have gotten 'faggot' tattooed across my forehead."

"Enough!" Jim's fist slammed into the tabletop. "You're not to blame here. If you go into court with that attitude, you're giving the trial to the goons who assaulted you." His voice softened, and he looked across at his lover. "It's too late to worry about being outed. You say what you have to say; I don't care anymore who hears it."

"You sure?" Blair looked up from his oatmeal, eyes wide. "It could mean your career."

"I don't give a damn about my career. I want those men to pay for what they did," Jim growled.

Blair ran his hand down his face in frustrated surrender. "All right. Whatever you say. I want these guys put away as much as you do."

"That's the spirit!" Jim smiled. "Go get 'em!"

Later that morning; County Courthouse:

"The prosecution calls Blair Sandburg," Attorney Marshall Davis announced. Blair got up and made his way to the witness stand. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?"

Blair raised his right hand, giving Jim a quick glance. "I do."

"You may be seated." Blair sat, looking up at the lawyer. "Mr. Sandburg, I realize that you recently gave your deposition to the court, but would you please recount the events of the afternoon of January 18th for us now?"

Blair nodded. "I was walking behind Hargrove Hall with a student," he began.

"And why were you walking behind the building?" the attorney interrupted.

"It's a common shortcut to the student center," Blair explained. "I was going to have coffee with Katie Farrell and help her with an Anthropology assignment."

"And what happened as you were walking behind the building?"

"Four male students stepped out of the shadows and blocked my path." Blair took a deep breath. "Katie turned and escaped, while I was surrounded."

"Are the men that confronted you in the courtroom today?"

Blair nodded. "Yes, sir, they are. They're sitting at the defense table," he said, pointing.

"What happened next?"

"They began to taunt me and shove me around," Blair said. "They surrounded me and started hitting. Carl Monroe hit me in the stomach, knocking me to my knees," he continued. "After that, they brought out baseball bats and began to beat me."

"Why didn't you fight back?" Davis questioned.

"I did, at first," Blair said. "But they gagged and bound me so that I couldn't fight or get away."

"And how long did this go on?"

"I couldn't say," Blair admitted. "I was knocked unconscious, and didn't wake up again until I was in recovery from surgery at the hospital."

"And would you tell the court the extent of your injuries, please?" Davis continued.

"The beating ruptured my spleen--which had to be removed--broke my left arm and cracked my skull above my left eye." Blair's right hand automatically rose to finger the patch. "The doctor said I'll have to have my eyes checked when the bandages come off, to see if there's any permanent damage to my vision."

"Objection; hearsay," the defense attorney interjected.

"Sustained," the judge agreed.

"Thank you, Mr. Sandburg. That will be all." The prosecution stepped down to let the defense lawyer have a turn.

Dan Cooper approached the witness stand, looking like a shark circling in bloody water. "Mr. Sandburg... could you please tell us why Mr. Monroe confronted you?"

"I'm sorry...?" Blair looked confused.

"Did it have anything to do with this?" The defense attorney handed Blair a copy of the Cascade Herald, folded to the county records page.

"Um... yes," Blair said very softly.

"Defense Exhibit 1, Your Honor," Mr. Cooper said, presenting the newspaper. "For the record, this newspaper published your name change, did it not?"

"Yes," Blair answered succinctly.

"And can you explain to the court why you added 'Ellison' as your middle name?" When Blair said nothing, Cooper continued. "It's because you and Detective Ellison are engaged in a sexual relationship, is it not?"

Blair continued his silence, all color draining from his face.

The judge turned to the shocked witness, sympathy on his face, but sternness in his voice. "Please answer the question, son."

"Y-y-yes...." Blair looked with horror across the courtroom. As many of Major Crime's detectives as could get free for the trial were there to support their observer in his time of need. Looks of surprise crossed some of their faces, but most smiled and looked supportive. Jim gave him a thumb's up; his sign to keep going, everything would be all right.

"That's all I have for now," Cooper announced, turning away from the witness.

"You may step down," the judge told him. "But stay available, in case you're recalled."

"Yes, sir." Blair stepped down from the stand on shaky legs.

The trial continued for two more hours. The defendants submitted their depositions, each having a turn to tell his version of the story. In the end, the jury found them guilty of felony assault, and a large bail was set for the four young men pending their sentencing hearing.

After the trial, Jim guided Blair out into the hall, anxious to get his still-healing lover home to rest. "Oh, God, Jim!" Blair sighed. "I really screwed things up in there."

"Why do you say that?" Jim asked, surprised that by telling the simple truth, Blair felt he had somehow let Jim down.

"I admitted, in public, that we're a couple," he answered. "Half of Major Crime knows for sure, now. I'm really sorry, Jim. I know you wanted to keep it a secret."

Simon walked up to the couple, resting a reassuring hand on Blair's shoulder. "You did good in there, kid."

"Oh, man...." Blair groaned.

"Don't go beating yourself up," Simon soothed. "The damage was already done when the paper published your name change. Most of the detectives have not only accepted the idea, they actively support you." When Blair turned a look of surprise on the Captain, Simon continued. "Whether or not they support your lifestyle, they support you," he clarified. "Nobody deserves to be half killed over something like this. What those boys did was just plain wrong."

"You know, Simon," Jim began, wrapping a protective arm around Blair. "We appreciate the support, but Blair is still pretty banged up. He needs a soft couch and some pillows for the rest of the afternoon."

"I understand," Simon agreed. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off, too, Jim? I think that after this morning, you both need a little decompression time."

"Thanks." Jim's smile of gratitude lit his face. He hadn't wanted to leave Blair home alone today, after the trauma of the trial.

"I'll call if we hear anything," Simon assured him. "Besides, I'm going to have to do a little fancy footwork to clear this with the department. While the PD doesn't have a rule against homosexual officers, it does have a mandate against fraternizing between employees."

"But Blair isn't technically an employee," Jim pointed out, pulling his partner closer to his side.

"Just the same, now that the cat's out of the bag, it might be a good idea to lay low for a few days until I can get things straightened out."

Just then, Megan came running up. "Glad I caught you," she said, slightly out of breath. Resting a hand on Blair's good shoulder, she rubbed it soothingly. "I just wanted to say that I'm really happy for you." At Blair's puzzled look, she continued. "About you being a couple." Megan's smile was electric. "I suspected for some time that there was something more between you two. I'm glad you finally came to your senses--no pun intended," she added, looking at Jim and winking.

Jim gave her the patented Ellison look, then turned to Blair, guiding him toward the door. "Come on, Chief, let's go home."

Blair turned to Megan, flashing her a smile. "Thanks, Megan. Talk to you later?"

"You bet, mate!"

"Jim! Blair!" Before Jim could get his partner out the door, Joel Taggert flagged them down.

"Hey, Joel," Jim greeted the bomb squad captain. "I really need to get Blair home," he apologized.

"Yeah, I know," Joel said, noting the dark rings beneath Blair's eyes. "It's just been a while and I wanted you both to know that this doesn't change anything between us." He turned to Blair. "How are you doing?"

"Been better," Blair answered, then smiled. "But it's great to know that I'm not going to be ostracized when I come back to the station."

"To tell you the truth," Joel said, dropping his voice, "the revelation was not taken kindly by everyone in Major Crime. But the guys that are talking down about your relationship are the same ones who never really accepted you in the first place." Joel patted Blair's shoulder gently. "Don't worry, you've got plenty of supporters."

"That's good to hear," Jim said. "Blair's going to need all the support he can get when he comes back."

"What about you?" Blair asked, surprised. "The ones who don't approve of us are going to be on your back now, too."

"I can take care of myself," Jim assured him. "Come on, Blair, let's get you home. Later, Joel."

"Sure, Jim. Later."

Once they got home, Blair collapsed on the couch. "I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller," he sighed, slouching into a corner of the cushions. "It's nice to know we have some supporters in Major Crime, though."

"Yeah, it's better than I expected it to be," Jim admitted, coming to sit next to his partner. "Sonqollay," his voice was soft as he rested a hand on Blair's knee, "despite everything that's happened, I still think the gesture of adding my name to yours was the most loving thing anyone has ever done for me. I'm sorry beyond words for what happened because of it, but the fact that you're still here proves to me that you won't ever leave." He dug in his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. "Now that the world knows, anyway, I wanted to give you a little something in return."

"You don't owe me anything, Jim," Blair protested. "I know the depth of your feelings. You don't have to prove anything."

"I want to," Jim replied, opening the box. Inside, nestled side-by-side were two gold bands. He took out the slightly smaller of the two and cradled Blair's left hand. "We made a commitment to each other that bound us together, eternally. This band is a circle, endless, like our love." He slipped the ring onto the third finger of Blair's hand, then handed him the box with the other ring.

"Oh, man...." Blair sniffled, wiping unbidden tears from his eyes. "You may be the quiet one of the two of us, but when you talk, you sure know what to say." He picked the second ring from the box and slipped it on Jim's finger. "Eternity--together."

Jim leaned forward, sealing their vows with a kiss.

~oO0Oo~

Sitting in the examination room six weeks later, Blair rubbed at his left arm, trying to get the circulation to return and to be rid of the persistent itch that had plagued him for weeks. Gingerly, he tried flexing the limb, which was stiff from disuse.

"I'll bet it's a relief to finally get out of that cast," Dr. Welby commented.

Blair sighed. "You can say that again!"

"Your arm will be weak for a while," the doctor reminded him. "I want you to use it as much as possible. You need to gain back the strength. Just be careful not to overextend yourself."

"I'll be careful," Blair assured him.

"So, are you ready to get rid of that eye patch, too?"

"More than ready," Blair agreed.

The doctor dimmed the lights in the room and pulled off the patch. Then, slowly, he began to peel back the layers of gauze that had covered Blair's eye for two months. Once the bandages were removed, Blair blinked, trying to moisten his eye and clear his vision.

"Just a minute." Dr. Welby walked over to his cabinet and pulled out a bottle of eye drops. "Tip your head back for me," he instructed, placing two drops of the medicated solution into Blair's eye.

After blinking again and dabbing at the excess moisture with a tissue, Blair looked around the room. "How is it?" Welby asked.

"A little blurry," Blair said. "But not too bad."

"That's to be expected at first," the doctor assured him. "Your appointment with the ophthalmologist is this afternoon?" Blair nodded. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks." Blair pulled his shirt back on, enjoying being able to slip his left arm through the sleeve. "I'm glad this is almost over."

"I'll bet you are," the doctor said with a chuckle. "Good-bye, Blair. Take care of yourself."

"I will. Good-bye, Dr. Welby." Blair exited the exam room and found himself face-to-face with Jim, who was studying him intently.

"How'd it go?"

"Everything's copasetic," Blair said with a smile. "Got my eye exam this afternoon, then I'm free."

"Good," Jim growled possessively. "It's about time."

"You said it," Blair agreed.

~oO0Oo~

Blair's return to the Major Crime bullpen was almost anticlimactic. He was surrounded by his and Jim's friends and welcomed back into the fold; then life resumed its normal pace. Simon stuck his head from his office and summoned the two men.

"Come on in," he said, gesturing toward the conference table and chairs. "Jim, will you shut the door, please?" When both men were seated, Simon got to the point. "Carl Monroe and his buddies struck a deal with the D.A.'s office."

"What kind of deal?" Jim asked, feeling his heart sinking to his feet.

"The men pleaded guilty to misdemeanor battery in return for reduced sentences," Simon explained. "Monroe got five years, but he'll be out in three with good behavior. The others got assigned a thousand hours of community service at the Rainbow House..."

"I know that place," Blair interrupted. He turned to Jim. "It's a safe house for gay and lesbian kids."

"...on top of the time already served in jail while they awaited sentencing," the Captain finished.

"Simon, those men would have beaten Blair to death if the police hadn't arrived when they did," Jim argued. "How can the D.A. give them a deal like that?" He turned to look at his partner.

Blair took a deep breath. "I can't say I'm entirely happy about this," he admitted. "I feel like I'm going to have to go through life looking over my shoulder."

"I tried to talk them out of it," Simon told his men, "but the D.A. wouldn't buy it. With all the budget cutbacks, they can't afford jail time for minor battery cases."

"Minor?" Jim exploded. "Blair just got his cast off and he's minus a spleen. You call that minor?"

"None of those men had any priors," Simon told them. "There's no reason to believe they'll re-offend. I understand that you're upset; so am I, but those are the facts and we're going to have to live with them."

"Simon, it's okay," Blair's soft voice sounded from two chairs away. "They aren't bad kids; just misdirected."

"I don't believe this!" Jim exploded. "How can you sit there and take this news like Simon was reporting the weather?"

"Jim, man, there's nothing we can do about it. I'll just have to stay alert when I'm on campus."

"Alert, hell. As long as any of those bastards are on campus, you'll have a bodyguard assigned to you," Jim promised.

"That's another thing," Simon interjected as memory kicked in. "They've all been banned from the Rainier campus, and there's a restraining order against all three."

"That's some comfort," Blair admitted. "But what's really to stop them? They could wait for me off campus. Restraining orders don't do much good unless there's a cop right there."

"The boys that were released were remorseful," Simon told them. "They seemed genuinely sorry that things escalated like they did. The D.A. was convinced that they weren't a threat and took steps to make sure you wouldn't come in contact with them."

"You're staying with me," Jim said, turning to Blair. "Take a medical leave from Rainier and become my full-time partner for a while."

"No, Jim," Blair said, shaking his head. "If I don't go back now, I may never be able to. It's the old getting back up on the horse thing, you know."

"I know it's none of my business," Simon said, "but I think Blair's right. He needs to get back into his routine."

"What would you know about his routine, Simon?" Jim growled. "He'd be safer with me."

"Jim," Blair interrupted. "It's my decision. I want to go back." Jim started to sputter. "No," Blair said, holding up his hands. "Don't start. I'm going back." He turned to the Captain. "Thanks for letting us know what's happening, Simon."

"No problem," Simon said with sympathy. "So, how did the eye exam go?"

Blair brightened. "Great! The only change in my vision was what could be expected for my age and the time since my last checkup. I need a new prescription, but the injury didn't do any permanent damage."

"That's terrific news!" Simon agreed. "You're looking much better."

"I feel much better," Blair assured him. "It's going to take a few weeks to get the strength back in my arm, but Jim's already got some ideas for workouts that will help." He turned his smile on his partner.

Jim finally relaxed and returned the smile. "Don't you think we ought to get home and get started on one of those workouts?"

"Yeah, sure," Blair agreed. "I'm ready." He stood, pushing back his chair and walking to the door.

Jim beat him there, opening the door and ushering Blair through. "See you tomorrow, Simon."

Simon grunted, lifting his cigar to his mouth to chew as he watched the two men walk out of Major Crime, arms wrapped around each other's waists.

~oO0Oo~

"Ahhhhh... Jiiiiim...." Blair sighed as the Sentinel's hands ghosted over his nipples, raising them to hard points.

"Think you're ready?" Jim asked, punctuating his words with kisses to Blair's straining cock.

"Oh, God, I'm ready! I'm ready!" Blair squirmed as Jim's finger traced its way down his crack to tease the tight muscle of his anus.

Reaching over to the nightstand, Jim grabbed the lube, coating his fingers. He gently probed the hole, his finger slipping in up to the first knuckle. Blair arched above him, raising his hips off the mattress. "You okay?" Jim's voice was breathy in Blair's ear. He nibbled at the lobe, waiting for his answer.

"Yes... yes...." Blair gasped. "Get on with it."

"We go slow," Jim reminded him. "We haven't been able to do this for a while and you're still tight."

Blair sucked in a deep breath, trying hard to allow his body to relax. His injuries had precluded sex for nearly two months. Before that, he and Jim had only begun to experiment with anal penetration. While Blair was no longer a virgin, he didn't consider himself experienced, either. He consciously relaxed his muscles one by one, until he felt Jim's finger slip fully inside.

The sensation was incredible. A moan escaped Blair's lips as he lay there, absorbing the notion that Jim was inside him. Slowly, the finger was withdrawn and replaced by two. While Jim's fingers gently fucked him, his mouth was captured in a kiss, a hand tangling in his hair. Wrapping his arms around his lover, Blair resolved never to disappoint him.

Jim's lips trailed off Blair's mouth, leaving him breathless. Kisses traced their way down his chest and abdomen until the lips encountered the firm column of his erection. "Oh, God!" Blair cried, fingers digging into the sheets as Jim swallowed his cock, and then began an unrelenting suction of the head.

Blair's climax built quickly, growing from the pit of his stomach. His balls tightened; his grip on the sheets tightening along with them. "Gonna come, Jim!" he warned, shaking with the effort to hold off a bit longer.

The moist heat of Jim's mouth left Blair trembling on the brink as he withdrew, his cock bobbing against his abdomen, abandoned for the moment. The fingers that had been gently stretching him slipped from his ass, to be replaced by Jim's own member, stiff and pulsing with life. The penetration pulled another inarticulate scream from Blair's throat. The young man squirmed, trying to rock his hips with the rhythm of Jim's thrusting. His lover held his hips still, increasing the tension until Blair thought he would burst apart.

Finally, Jim released his hold, grabbing the abandoned cock to stroke in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. Blair's orgasm washed over him in pulsating waves. An inarticulate cry ripped from his throat as his come shot over Jim's hand and onto his chest.

Jim increased the speed of his own thrusts as Blair's body spasmed around his cock, milking the aching organ toward climax. He came explosively, pounding hard into Blair's yielding center. He collapsed on top of his lover with a contented sigh. Two arms wrapped around him, holding him in a lopsided grip.

Blair leaned toward him, touching Jim's lips gently with his own before pulling back. "Nobody's ever going to touch me like that, except you," he returned. "But you can't be there to protect me all the time, Jim. I'll be fine, really."

"You will, won't you?" Jim's response was filled with a measure of awe, as he realized just how strong and resilient his partner really was. "I don't care who knows," he added. "Now that we're out, we shouldn't hide how we feel."

"Within bounds," Blair amended. "No groping in the bullpen." He smiled as he shook a finger in Jim's face.

Jim's mouth turned down in a pout, but he couldn't contain his mirth for long. "No sex in your office."

"No tongue in front of Simon."

"No sex in the break room."

"Jim?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Love you, too, Sonqollay."