TITLE: Shadows: It Ends - The Final Truth
AUTHOR: Spooky's Girl 
DISCLAIMER: They're not mine, they belong to the XF god CC, and it's probably 
a good thing they do cause believe it or not, he treats them much nicer than I 
usually do 
RATING: PG-13 
CATEGORY: UST, hint of MSR, angst
SUMMARY: He Learns
SPOILERS: Season nine, particularly William and The Truth
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the ninth and final vignette in a series of nine.  
Basically simple summary, one vignette per season, a reflection of sorts of 
Mulder's impact on Scully's life.  A complete list of titles in the series can 
be found at the end of the vignette.
THANKS: To Nancy for the beta, and to Ashley for allowing me to continue with 
the idea even though she had the same one in mind.  For Sarah for continually 
harrassing me to finish this, and once again, my trash can for eating the 
original version of this which just didn't work at all
FEEDBACK: As always, I love feedback…that and chocolate are the necessary 
ingredients to life, and yes, I do respond back to it 
denisegilliland@hotmail.com 
VISIT ME! http://www.geocities.com/spookys_girl2000
ARCHIVE: Of course, just let me know so i can visit and link to my site

~*~*~

To say that I always know what I'm doing and that I'm usually right would make 
me a liar right about now.  Once upon a time I started the X-Files to find my 
missing sister.  I once believed aliens abducted her.  I was adamant on this 
belief, I tried to force this belief onto others, namely my partner.  I was 
wrong and learned my partner was right.

I once made my partner choose between work and family, asking her not to give 
up the digital tape it had taken me so long to find and even longer to read 
the secrets within.  It was a piece of the puzzle I once thought I needed.  I 
was wrong and she showed me then that all I needed was her by my side and 
friends to help me out.  She taught me then that family was more important 
than work.  You would think I'd have learned that, but you would be wrong.

I once asked her to leave me, to reclaim the life she once lived and loved 
thinking that it would make her a better person and even more so, make her 
happy.  She made it clear that she'd do no such thing and since then she's 
saved me a thousand times over, giving me the happiness I wished on her.  And 
I learned soon after that her happiness came from mine.  And I was wrong to 
push her away.

Over our nine years together she proved me wrong on ninety percent of my 
beliefs, on ninety percent of my ideas and theories.  

And I still haven't learned, at least until now.  

For nine years I let what I believed to be the Truth blind me to the obvious.  
I let it destroy the family I once had.  I ran, fearing my presence would 
cause harm to Scully and my son, and the danger was still there, and not one 
day goes by where I don't wish I could go back and be there for her when she 
needed me the most.

My truth got me in trouble, got my friends killed and left my Scully alone 
during it all.  My only saving grace is that she loves me and forgives me and 
still fights by my side so we could be together.  She doesn't fight for the 
Truth that I fight for, she fights for us, she's always fought for us.

The son I longed for, we both longed for is now gone, hopefully living a safe 
and happy life with good parents.  But I can't help but think things might 
have been different if I were here to protect him.  Forty-eight hours with him 
have given me a lifetime of memories, but it saddens me to know that I'll 
never get to see him grow up, I never got to see his first Christmas, or his 
first birthday, nor will I ever get to teach him basketball or baseball and 
I'll never get to see all the milestone events every father should get to 
see his son do.  

In the end I learned there's still nothing I can do to save him, to save us 
from what has been predicted for years and is written down in a secret 
military file.  Every choice I made, I made on the basis that I thought I 
could do something to prevent the inevitable, and I learned that once again, I 
was wrong, there is nothing I can but live the time we have left and hope it 
doesn't happen.

And this is what Scully was trying to teach me all along, that I can't believe 
that I'm the world's only hope, that I can't go off searching for something 
that isn't there because it might lead me into trouble.  That two is always 
better than one and we always worked better as partners than alone.

And I learned that the hard way too when I found myself in a farce of a trial 
facing capital punishment charges.  

But I believe in her.  

That's the one belief that has never waned or faltered over the nine years 
even though it sometimes appeared so.  I learned that I can't protect her when 
she doesn't want to be protected, and that she won't accept anything less than 
us.

That's her Truth.

And now it's become mine.

~END~

Shadows: It Begins
Shadows: Darkness
Shadows: Discovery
Shadows: Reflections
Shadows: Broken
Shadows: Destinies
Shadows: Freedom
Shadows: Breakaway
Shadows: It Ends – The Final Truth