TITLE: Shadows: Freedom  
AUTHOR: Spooky's Girl  
DISCLAIMER: They're not mine, they belong to the XF god CC, and it's probably a 
good thing they do cause believe it or not, he treats them much nicer than I 
usually do 
RATING: PG-13  
CATEGORY: touch of MSR, angst
SUMMARY: Free of mind, body, and soul…and fatalism of the world 
SPOILERS: Season seven starting with SE Amor Fati, passing through SUZ and 
Closure, and ending with Requiem
AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is the seventh vignette in a series of nine.  Basically 
simple summary, one vignette per season, a reflection of sorts of Mulder's 
impact on Scully's life.  A complete list of titles in the series can be found 
at the end of the vignette. 
THANKS: To Nancy for the beta, and to Ashley for allowing me to continue with 
the idea even though she had the same one in mind. 
FEEDBACK: As always, I love feedback…that and chocolate are the necessary 
ingredients to life, and yes, I do respond back to it 
denisegilliland@hotmail.com 

~*~*~

Hiding behind a mask of lies, that's what I was doing all this time, all these 
years.  I search for things that are impossibly out of our range, and yet I tell 
her they're within our reach.  I tell her to look at one thing while I go look 
at another.  I'm ready to move on, I've found all the answers I need, she 
hasn't, and that's my fault.  In enhancing my investigations, I've kept her from 
hers.  Never once has she formed a single complaint, but I know they're there; I 
can see them every time I look at her.  

Once upon a time we were both at the same level, we both knew what we wanted out 
of our partnership, we both the exact same amount of energy into it, we both did 
our damnedest to make it work, only now something's changed.  

And I think it's me.

The issue of who I can and cannot trust and whom I no longer clouds my judgment.  
I made a serious mistake last year with Scully in that regards, I chose a former 
lover over my greatest friend, and it scarred her to the bone creating this 
emotional gap between the two of us.  I thought it was irreparable, and it still 
might be; only now I have a greater chance of making amends.

That woman is no longer in my life; I no longer want her in my life.  I have 
seen her lies, her deceptions, and the games she plays.  She's gone though, I've 
moved on, I've taken a path of sorts looking for redemption from my partner 
who's saved me many times in this lifetime, and in others.  I'm looking for 
redemption from myself in allowing all this to happen.

My quest is over, my answers have been solved and for only the second time in 
twenty-seven years, I feel complete, although I know that won't last long cause 
one thing is still missing, and there is still too much to be done before I'd 
ever reach that phase in my lifetime.  

Everything but her has become meaningless to me, there are still answers I want 
to find, but they're not as pertinent to me anymore.  Instead I find them for 
her, or that's what I'm trying to make it look like I'm doing.  I'm confident in 
our relationship now, I know she won't go running off once her answers have been 
found too…so why am I waiting so long to search them out?

That's what takes me to today, the moment where I've finally taken the next step 
forward in helping my partner.  This is the one time where I'm honestly doing 
the right thing to give her the answers she so desperately needs, the answers we 
both so desperately need in order to move on with our lives.  This is the one 
moment where everything that pertains to us will come together, the moment of 
realization that the time is right for us.

And I'm about to make a move that will prove to be the most destructive to our 
relationship yet.

There's no proper goodbye, I refuse to say goodbye even though I know there's a 
chance I'll never see her again, I'm willing to risk all I have to right so many 
wrongs made over so many years.

It'll kill her, but she'll be stronger because of it, so I go, not looking back.

~*FIN*~

Shadows: It Begins
Shadows: Darkness
Shadows: Discovery
Shadows: Reflections
Shadows: Broken
Shadows: Destinies
Shadows: Freedom
Shadows: Breakaway
Shadows: It Ends