THE LONE GUNMEN "Juggernaut" OPENING TEASER FADE IN LEGEND indicates: PORT OF MIAMI - PIER 9 Carnival Cruise Lines 12:30 P.M. EXT. THE IMAGINATION - LIDO DECK-DAY CLOSE ON A rotund, grizzled man in his late thirties double checks, making sure he is alone at pool side. Aside from less than a handful of sundry galley personnel scurrying to and fro, he is. It is a sun-drenched Floridian afternoon with balmy breezes ruffling many palm branches. The Carnival "fun ship" is due to set sail at seventeen hundred hours. Plenty of time. He extracts a petite vial from the inside pocket of his orange coveralls. While he unstoppers the vial, he looks around before pouring the pale grey contents into the pool. In seconds, and to his satisfaction the grey goes translucent. Moving off slowly, he then enacts the identical procedure with the end of the pool that allows for splashdown after coursing down the winding slide. Done, he whisks the vial back into his pocket, dons his mop and continues the chore conveniently being used as a cover. Ten minutes later, he disembarks from the same entryway he had used, sneaking aboard. An obsidian black van waits for him. Once inside, the handsome driver, Alex Krycek, congratulates him, and then gets out. Krycek watches the man take the driver's seat. MAN (hushedly) I'm positive. No one saw me. The solution dissolved thoroughly. KRYCEK (somewhat testily) As I told you it would. I'll see you in a week, barring incident. MAN (hands off an additional vial) Good luck. KRYCEK (nods, but looks unreadable) That's superfluous. He begins walking off, haltingly turns around, and gives a brief wave. The man acknowledges it with a sleight dip of his head. END TEASER FADE TO BLACK OPENING MUSIC OPEN ACT I CUT TO- INT. CRUISE REGISTRATION TERMINAL-LATE AFTERNOON Two long lines ring the noisy receiving hall as prespective vacationers wait to sign-in before boarding the 'Imagination,' their "fun ship," for this week-long excursion. LANGLY (snidely, his entire face a smirk) Yo, dude you look like a refugee from a subsidized Club Med. Really dig those clodhoppers you call sandels. One fashion victim to go. . . MULDER You were smart to wear jeans, Scarecrow. Wouldn't want to terrorize a defenseless public with cut-offs. Your knees give knobby a whole new meaning. LANGLY (taking it in stride) What's with the straw hat? And that shirt's gotta go. We're sailin' to the Yucatan, not Honolulu. (snaps his clip-ons down over his lenses.) MULDER (shrugging) Cut me some slack, Mr. FV number two. I'm on vacation. LANGLY (returns the shrug) Yeah, cool. Like, whatever. (surveys the throng.) Think they'll hold the boat? SCULLY (stops her perusal of a colorful brochure) Don't be ridiculous, of course. This is standard operating procedure for cruises. MULDER (in an aside to Langly) Doesn't she look hot, or what? LANGLY (nods) Very un-FBI. SCULLY (throws a look their way, frowning) I heard that. It's just cottony slacks and a sleeveless blouse. Put your eyes back in their sockets. The men grin wide at her despite her crossness. SCULLY (waves them off) I know these lines look formidable, but believe me, everyone gets processed in record time. I've never heard or seen anyone ever left behind. MULDER (looking wounded) What are you saying Scully? SCULLY That I've been on a cruise or two befo-- MULDER Without me? I'm hurt, partner. SCULLY I can't imagine why. MULDER (his eyebrows hop up and down) Sculleee, you never told me you're a veteran. Think of all the fun we could have had already... SCULLY There's a lot you don't know about me, Mulder. (beat) Anyway, I've cruised with Holland America, mostly, and if this company's anything like HA, we'll be ushered on and into the 'Welcome Aboard' buffet in record time, trust me. (casts a meaningful look Mulder's way) When I spoke to Lis, twenty minutes ago, she said she'd meet us, but I don't see her yet. MULDER (shifts his attention back to Langly) How are your partners in virtual reality going to get along without you for a week? LANGLY They'll survive. I told 'em I'd bring 'em back a couple of T-shirts as souvenirs. MULDER (snickering with a deadpan expression) You're all heart. Lazily, Langly's eyes roam freely through the colorful tumult of pleasure seekers. LANGLY That's what they said. MULDER Hey, Scully, isn't that your cousin? Cue in to a svelte young woman, wearing a milky white sheer, thin-strapped dress, she looking like the epitome of a summer's day. She spots her relative and the men with her. Her smile washes over Scully's face, and lingers for Langly's. SCULLY (admiringly) She's so beautiful. She ought to be in pictures. The big screen. Mulder chuckles, and nods, but doesn't overdo it. LANGLY (his knees are shaking, and he mumbles) God. . . (gulps, trying to sound in commmand of his tremulous voice, but looks like he's having a seizure as she comes into hailing range.) H-H-Hi. . . The cousin unhooks, then re-hooks the cordoning rope, a study of swiftness in action. She hugs Scully first, shakes Mulder's hand, and joyously throws her arms around Langly's neck to hug him vigorously. CLOSE ON LISLITA 'Mi vida. . .bienvenido!' SUBTITLE . . .Welcome! I've missed you so much. PULL BACK Mulder's quick hands save Langly's glasses from doing a hard smack-down against the ground. MAN BEHIND THEM IN LINE Get a cabin. (more to his wife) Sheesh, ain't even on the Love Boat yet, but can't wait to get at it, and don'tcha just know they *ain't* married. Lislita abruptly ends the public display of affection, apologizing profusely, catching Scully's eye in mid-appeasement. Scully mildly acknowledges. LISLITA (softly to Langly) Can't help it though, I've really missed you. LANGLY (matches her softness, sounding self- conscious) I really missed you too. LISLITA Let's kick your vacation into high gear. (she gives the party a high sign) Come. Follow me. She grasps Langly's right hand firmly with her left, leading him off. He snatches up his bulging backpack with his left. Mulder hefts Scully's, Langly's and his own garment bag while Scully holds the cordoning rope and the entourage steps out of the human train. They follow the shapely young lady over to the processing desk. LISLITA This won't take long. 'Te prometo.' Desi owes me 'mucho' favors. This will be three he won't anymore. LANGLY (barely audible) Desi? She squeezes his hand, and he sees she's heard, loud and clear. LISLITA Only a friend, 'chulito.' LANGLY Yeah, sure. I knew that. . . Desi looks as though he could moonlight for GQ ads. As the huddle of three wait behind the cabaret singer, they listen to Lislita ask him to take care of her cousin and her friend, and... LISLITA Yes, Desi, this is the cute guy I've been telling you all about. Ringo, this is Desi Aguilar. Desi, meet Ringo Langly. DESI (shakes Langly's tentative, outstretched hand) 'Mucho gusto en conocerle, amigo.' SUBTITLE Pleased to meet you, friend. DESI I feel as though I already know you. He studies all the documentation necessary for boarding while he talks. LANGLY (snidely) Nothin' but good stuff, I hope. (but evenly takes it down a notch when he sees Lislita smiling warmly at him. Shakes Desi's delicate, manicured hand with a friendlier gesture) Glad to know ya. DESI (with tongue in cheek) Likewise. (stamps his final stamp, and issues their shipboard charge cards to them) And, you're all set. The group members collect their things and begin walking away. DESI (playfully arches to the performer) Any chance of my stealing him away, 'munequita?' LISLITA (rolls her eyes dramatically) No chance, 'escamoso,' he's taken. (possessively claims Langly's arm) And you're not his type. *I'm* his type. (addresses Langly) 'Si, chulito?' SUBTITLE Isn't that right, cutie? LISLITA Yes or no? LANGLY (snorts through his nose and partially through his throat as though choking) Hell yeah. You are. I swing only one way, not both. LISLITA (stridently) See, Des, I told you. Don't let his long hair fool you. See me in the new show tonight? DESI (winks) Wouldn't miss you in it for the world. 'Mas alla.' SUBTITLE Later CUT TO- INT. THE EMBARADERO THOROUGHFARE- LATER THAT AFTERNOON CAMERA FOLLOWS The couples head for the gangway, Scully and Mulder in the lead, with Lislita and Langly bringing up the rear, slowly. LISLITA (has braided her arms around Langly's left arm) Sorry I couldn't meet you at the airport. Rehearsal for this new show ran over. LANGLY (self-conscious about how hard she's got him latched) Uh. . .yeah. Hey, like don't sweat it. We ditched the courtesy bus and opted for a cab to avoid the crowds. I'm talkin' it was a cinch to get here. LISLITA (glowingly, her dark eyes slide across his face) I'm so happy you are. LANGLY Me too. Can't wait till we're under way. (brief pause to gulp) Thanks for inviting me to be your guest. He scopes out her face nervously and is rewarded to see her fixated on him, raptly attentive. LISLITA (looks furtive) I've never invited a man to be my guest before. . . Unexpectedly, Mulder hitches around. MULDER (dangling the key claims before him) So, uh, Langly, looks like it's you and me. LANGLY (caught off guard) Huh? MULDER We're roomies. (beat) How's that grab ya? LANGLY Who says? SCULLY (feeding off Langly's suddenly challenging look) I do, that's who. Langly looks to Lislita who looks as though this is the first she's heard of it. SCULLY Got a problem? Her rattled look lances clean through him. LANGLY (mildly sullen) No. *You*? SCULLY (smiles the smile of the victor) Of course not. Why should I? I'm on vacation, and I plan on vacationing to the max. Mulder-- MULDER Yeah, Scully? SCULLY Once we know where your room is, I'll meet you there so we can go for the buffet and cocktails, together. MULDER (brightly) Cocktails? SCULLY Cocktails at sundown, what could be more fitting to start this cruise off on an even keel? Mulder's hand nestles itself at the small of her back as they ride the elevator up to the main gangway which is not more than 20 yards away. Langly is muttering some choice words under his breath as he regards the female FBI agent stonily, but when Lislita whispers in his ear, he can't help but smile. LANGLY So, she's always been pushy like that. Even when she was a kid. . . LISLITA (sounding back in time, with her chin resting against a portion of his collarbone for the ride up) I'll never forget the time when she was nine, and the family came to Mexico City for a visit. Since she knew how to say, 'please,' and 'thank you,' and several other easy things in Spanish, she had insisted that everyone. . .her mother, her father, and her sibs speak Spanish too, or she wouldn't talk to them the whole time they were there. LANGLY (chuckling) So what happened? LISLITA (squeezes his waist) She ignored them, and only spoke to my family, the maids, and the gardeners in the worst Spanish you'd never want to hear. LANGLY Somehow I knew you were gonna say something like that. (beat) Maids? Gardeners? That sounds expensive. LISLITA Old Mexican money. Is that wrong? LANGLY You tell me. LISLITA (evenly) I'm hoping 'Popi' lives forever. He's the greatest dad 'en todo el mundo.' SUBTITLE In all the world. LISLITA But when he passes, the family wealth falls to me. LANGLY (whistles) So. . .no big surprise why your cuz's so protective. 'Specially with a guy like me. LISLITA A guy like you? What's wrong with a guy like you? (emphatically) Nothing--that's what. The bravest man who risked his life for me. (keeping her voice down) Don't get me wrong, I love Dana dearly but she's used to getting her own way. LANGLY Tell me about it. 'Member how thrilled she wasn't 'cos you decided to stay a few days extra, to be with me? LISLITA Well, now you're here because I want you to be, and we're going to get to know each other even better. Much better. . . Why haven't you told her about how brave you were that night, warding off my attacker? LANGLY (shrugs) I dunno. I don't see her all that much, 'cept when it's business. Maybe we could tell her together. Later, you know. If it comes up. PANNING SHOT At the gangway, there're two photog- raphers waiting for boarding passengers. Mulder is about to alert them to the fact that a photo op awaits them, but is beat out. LANGLY So, uh. . .how do we wanna do the 'Bon Voyage' photo? MULDER (bouncing a quasi-pensive, stonewalling look off the group) Scully's the expert here, Alfred Fellig's identity wasn't *that* long ago. SCULLY (sniffs loudly) Aim, shoot, smile. Fellig wasn't a photographer. He was a puzzle. An anomaly. One I want to forget. MULDER So. . .you can admit that now. SCULLY (mockingly) Thanks for bringing up something I'd very much like to forget. (beat) We're on vacation. Give it a rest? Mulder gives her a toothy grin. LISLITA (tentatively) The four of us together? The cameraman waits patiently for them to decide, tapping his foot impatiently, nonetheless. LANGLY Let's do a Noah's Ark, before that photographer breaks all over us and camera whips us. Lislita sniggers behind her hand. MULDER Two-by-two. I think we can manage that, huh? Scully? Me and you? His hand, already resting at the small of her back, closes over the accomodating spot. She cocks her head at him, looking impassive. SCULLY (resignedly) Fine. Mulder sets the baggage down, and Langly flips up his clip-ons. He gets a load of the Agents, striking a very chummy pose. No sooner do Lislita and Langly grip each other tight, the pictures are snapped. At the last possible moment, Mulder gives Scully's cheek a peck. LANGLY (pipes up) Hey! We forgot to say cheese. Lislita brushes the backs of her fingers against his cheek, and he smiles, all full of himself. LANGLY (tones it down, sounding iffy) Ha-have I like told you how gr-great you look? LISLITA You didn't have to. I can see it in your eyes, 'mi vida. . .' SUBTITLE My life. LANGLY You've been sayin' that 'vida' thing a lot. What exactly does it mean? LISLITA (bursting to tell) It means my life. . .my everything. Stunned, Langly doesn't say a thing and gives her a long look, laced with implications. LANGLY Translation's a beautiful thing. Maybe before this trip's through, you can teach me some more Spanish, not that I'm promising I'll ever be too good. All you haveta do is ask Frohike how much I suck with Spanish, but. . . (nervous lull) Sayin' stuff like you just did, ya know, well. . . I'm willin' ta give it my best shot. He cinches her into himself closer and his nose does a nose-dive into the crown of Lislita's perfumed head as they approach the gangway's wide entrance, decked with festive balloons. CLOSE ON Lislita starts humming softly and as Langly lodges his forearm beneath her chin, tucking it into the hollow of her swan-like neck, her volume increases. LISLITA (looks up into his eyes) We are going to have so much fun. CAMERA PANS OVER We see Krycek, who had posed as one of the photographers, remove the coke bottle-lensed glasses and pug rubber nose he wore in disguise once the FBI Agents and the blond man are no longer in sight. Not missing a beat, he whirls around all set to take on his next ship-bound subjects. He trains the camera on the mother and her daughter of similar muscular body build. KRYCEK (his grin twists into a perverse smile) *Say cheese! END TEASER FADE OUT THEME BREAK FADE IN INT. THE IMAGINATION- THE PROMENADE DECK- EARLY MORNING LEGEND READS 1:00 A.M. CLOSE ON With vulpine deliberation and stealth, Krycek contemplates the peaceful faces of the couple asleep on the padded seating which runs the complete length of the deck. He pays special attention to the woman's bronze, cherubic face. A frisson of arousal courses through him beneath the salmony sun dress he's wearing, as another disguise. The blond looks genuinely presentable for a change as he's dressed in a charcoal pin-striped suit. Krycek tries to remember what his name is. Just as it's on the tip of his brain, the beautiful woman stirs, and Krycek smiles darkly. She is dressed to the nine's, looking as though she was poured into the glittery lame dress she wore during her act at one of theshipboard lounges. His eyes dance with a predatory gleam. He draws nearer still, unconcerned if they awaken. He makes a very convincing woman. He envies her the crystalline- gold spun filigree necklace strung about her neck. His fingers gently finger the fine jewelry, and then trace lower wantonly, hovering before the rise and fall of her partially-exposed cleavage. Gradually, Krycek leaves off, licks his glossy ruby red lips a final time, and then sashays away to resume his stroll of reconnaissance. INT. THE IMAGINATION-PROMENADE DECK-LATER THAT MORNING Langly awakes with a stir, and several wide, face-stretching yawns which rouse him enough to make him wonder exactly what time it is. He moves, what he thinks is slightly, to see what his watch says, but it's enough to wake Lislita who's been sleeping supine, on top of him. LANGLY (softly into her head) Hey, sorry. Didn't mean to wake ya. LISLITA (starts yawning, but covers it with her hand) You didn't. What time is it anyway? Noting how dark it still is, he checks that out. LANGLY Uh, nearly five A.M. Can you believe it? We crashed right here. Now how much does that say for my 'boredomability' factor? LISLITA (chuckles) You're *not* boring, it's just that we had lots to talk about and ran out of steam. I apologize for not being able to spend as much time with you as you'd like, and me too. . . LANGLY I really liked you in your shows. You send me. LISLITA Thank you. LANGLY (wistfully) Gee, I wish you didn't have to work so much so we can be together more. . . It sucks we'll never be able to have dinner together because you gotta do your thing showtimewise at dinnertime. LISLITA I know. LANGLY I want you for my dinner companion. Not the F.B.I. FLASHBACK - THE PREVIOUS NIGHT FADE IN INT. - THE GALAXY DINING ROOM LEGEND READS 8:30 P.M. PULL IN We see Langly atypically suitably attired in a dark single-breasted jacket and pants, seated at the dinner table with the Agents, looking touchy; primed for complaining. In the background we hear the buzz of Scully speaking, and Langly's look goes glumer still. VOICE OVER SCULLY (high-spiritedly) You've never seen so much food in your life. They pull out all the culinary stops for the Midnight Buffets. ON SCREEN I gained fifteen pounds alone, my last cruise, from all the midnight snacking I did. CUT TO MULDER Those pounds went to all the right places, though. Scully rolls her eyes at him, and he pretends he doesn't see. Langly brightens then when a thought strikes him. LANGLY Hey, maybe Lis and me can squeak those big-time midnight snack-fests into her busy schedule. She said she knocks off around eleven-thirty. I mean, with her being one of the aerobics instructors, and then all the singin' she does in the Dynasty Lounge and then after that the Seafarer Disco, it doesn't leave much time for. . .uh, uh. . . SCULLY (a hint of irritation) For what, Langly? LANGLY (visibly squirms as his face reddens) For uh, checkin' out the shipboard stuff ta do. You know. . . (pulls at the new tie Byers helped him pick out) Together. SCULLY (Mulder catches her eye, but she acts as though he meant his visual pinch for a woman at the next table, and she looks to the menu) Well, Lisa is an employee. They pay her to work. (mutters under her breath) As though she really has to. . . (still perusing the menu) This isn't a vacation for her. MULDER (knowingly) Oh, I'm sure she'll make some special quality time for ol' Scarecrow, here, Scully. After all, he is her invited guest, and I'm sure she wouldn't want him to feel neglected. (waggles his eyebrows unmercifully) Dana's icy stare of censure rivals every one she's ever given Mulder, to date. SCULLY Shut-up, Mulder. The men give each other nearly imperceptible smiles. Scully kicks Mulder's leg none too lightly under the table. LANGLY Hey, whadda they got to eat here? BACK TO THE PRESENT CUT TO LANGLY I might haveta hijack ya on the high seas like Lucy did to Ricky in that episode when they were traveling to Europe for his gig. He gets no response, and after he jiggles Lislita a little, he realizes she's fallen fast asleep in his arms again. Summoning up some bravery, he brushes his lips against her tender, glossy temple. LANGLY (softly in soliloquy) Man, you're so different from most chicks. I'm not some icky creep to make fun of behind my back, or right in front of me, to you. (rattles in his throat) I love ya, honey. He hugs Lislita tighter. . . LANGLY (speaks softly) Wonder if Mulder spent the night alone, or did he have Scully company? (pauses, thinking the sleeper is talking to him, shakes his head since she isn't) Man, you're so beat, out like a light, what a trooper. Think I *will* kidnap you for a couple of hours, and make ya take a nap just so ya get a chance to catch your breath. Lislita shifts suddenly, as if trying to shake herself awake. Langly drops his face nearer to hers for closer inspection. Unable to resist the attraction of her lips, he kisses them, as though they beckon. LISLITA (eyes closed, still sleeping soundly) . . .'Ay, si, mi vida, besame. Besame mucho, uno y otra vez, mi amor. No te paras las cosas que me estas haciendo. Te ofrezco todo mi cuerpo y alma a ti. Tu eres perfeccion. Te amo muchisimo. Si. . .' SUBTITLE Yes, kiss me. Kiss me over and over again, my love. Don't stop what you're doing to me. I offer you my body and soul. You are perfection. I love you so much. Yes. . . LISLITA (swallows hard) Again. Again, and again. LANGLY (staring, petrified, with nostrils flared) A-Again? D-Do what again? Ki-kiss ya? She begins to pant, and the identical malaise of seasickness washes over him. LISLITA (grips the side of each of his hips) KISS ME! LANGLY (stutters) I-di-didn't me-mean t-to take a-advan-- LISLITA --KISS ME Unstintingly, he obeys LISLITA (shakes herself awake to find him peering down at her like a boy who's been caught with his hand in the 'not before dinner,' cookie jar) What's wrong, 'mi vida?' LANGLY I-I'm not a freak. LISLITA Huh? LANGLY (more insistently) I'm not, swear. LISLITA (sighs) Okay, you're not, 'precioso.' Now, what's wrong? LANGLY You told me to kiss you, so I did. Just following orders. I wasn't stealing one. Like I said, I'm *not* a freak. LISLITA (contiues to stare at him for a time, then sheepishly) You caught me. LANGLY *I* caught *you*? At what? LISLITA I have this habit of talking in my sleep, ever since I was little. I was having this dream. . . LANGLY (bides his time) And you wanted me to kiss you? LISLITA (tentatively, with hesitancy) What else did I say? She brings her eyes to his again, leaving them in his care. LANGLY Beats me. Most of it was in Spanish. We cool? About the kiss? LISLITA (nods) I told you to kiss me. He nods in kind. LANGLY Yeah, so I did. LISLITA Swift obedience in a man. I like that. (snickers, then probes) And that's all you understood. LANGLY Square biz. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'. 'Mas huevos rancheros, por favor,' is the only 'Espanol' I know. She breathes an imperceptible sigh of relief. LISLITA Good. LANGLY How come good? What else did you say that I got no clue about? LISLITA (shyly) I'm too embarrassed to tell you. LANGLY Oh, now I gotta know. LISLITA Well. . . LANGLY Go on, promise I won't tease ya. Promise. LISLITA It was very vivid. LANGLY How vivid? With some give and take, she eases herself out of his arms, but with some gently applied persuasion, he eases her back into them. LISLITA 'Muchisimo.' SUBTITLE A whole lot. LISLITA 'Hacemos el amor. . .' SUBTITLE We were making love. LANGLY Okay, babe, the language lesson starts now. What's all that mean? She looks out the immense observation window and notices the waking sun better than a quarter of the way up, peeking over the wavy horizon. Frowning, a faint sigh escapes her. She faces around to him, and plunging ahead, gathers his hands to her mouth to kiss each one of his large knuckles, which are whiter than usual because he's been wringing his hands. LISLITA (slowly withdraws her mouth away from his hands) Do you believe dreams have meaning? LANGLY Depends. What was yours about? LISLITA When. . .when I dream about you, we make love. I have had such dreams ever since we met. I dream about us often. Langly tries not to evidence any shaking, but isn't totally successful. LANGLY (high-pitched) Yo-you d-do? She trembles, and squeezes his hands, and in response, he squeezes back. LISLITA Yes. LANGLY Ma-may. . .maybe your subconscious is tryin' to tell ya something. (bites his lower lip, looking like a scared rabbit) LISLITA (with an air of expectancy) Oh? And that is? LANGLY (forces himself to speak levelly) Li-like we're supposed t-to do it for real. You wa-wanna? --Only if you really wanna. If. If ya think we should. . . LISLITA (her face clouds) I, I. . .want to. . . (her eyes fall away from his face, and sadly she hangs her head down) But. . . LANGLY (panicks) I'm sorry--I shouldn't have said it like that--I'm a jerk. LISLITA (shakes her head, raising it in stages, then whispers) No you're not. You're the sweetest, sincerest guy I've ever met, which is why I have wasted no time falling in love with you. Langly's snowy white complexion burns to a bright crimson in no seconds flat. LANGLY Wow. You're, you're like so special, Lis. If you want us to do it, it'll be for the right reasons. (he gags down the enormous lump that has arisen in his throat) I--I love you too. The apprehensive look vanishes from Lislita's face, and she courageously looks him in his eyes. LISLITA I've never slept with a man before. I... I'm a virgin. I don't want to disappoint you. LANGLY (ingenuously) --Hey, no chance. Ever. He stares at her unblinkingly for a good long time. LISLITA What? LANGLY (sluggishly) Wow. LISLITA You looked shocked. Not what you were expecting, 'si?' LANGLY No--I mean yeah--no, I mean. . .I'm, uh, just, uh, surprised. LISLITA (arches an eyebrow exactly like her cousin) Oh? And why's that? LANGLY (gushes) 'Cos you're so beautiful, and any guy would kill for the chance just to walk you to your door. And takin' into account the business you're in. Hell, I don't know, just am. LISLITA I want my first time to be with someone special. Someone I really love. I know it sounds so old-fashioned, but I am when it comes to romance. I'm not looking for just having a good time with someone. (regards him, looking candid) I believe in honesty, and sharing more than just my body with the first man I make love with. LANGLY (sounding starved for air) I. . .I got a confession to make. (beat) I, I'm a virgin too. LISLITA (nervous laugh) No way. LANGLY I kid you not. What are the odds, huh? LISLITA (her tone awash in respect) Wow. . . A man of the world, like you? She crowds into his face and frees his hair from its ponytail. LANGLY (hems and haws abundantly) Uh, uh, I'm not that big a man of the world, as far as they go. I kinda overstated stuff in those e-mails. Not, when, well. . .when it comes to, you know. What we're talkin' about. But, like, I've read scads of illustrated manuals and stuff, so it's not like I'm totally ignorant. (rolls his eyes) Just, uh, inexperienced. Savin' myself for the right woman. LISLITA (draws in a sharp breath) This 'right woman,' how will you know her? LANGLY (before capturing her lips with his, he verbally wobbles) Here's a heavy clue. I'm about to plant a solid one on her lips. . . LISLITA (murmurs after their lips part) 'Te amo. . .' LANGLY No translation needed, babe. Me too. Lislita presses the palm of her right hand into his lips, and he kisses it as though he is scarfing M&M's from it. He snags her wrist, and kisses it. LANGLY I wanna kiss you all over, and over again. I wanna kiss you all over, till the night rushes in, Fuzzy Wuzzy. Her eyes bore holes into his soul, as well as his eyes. LISLITA (puzzled) Fuzzy Wuzzy? LANGLY (grins wide) . . .Was a bear. But in computerspeak it's the lightheaded feeling you can get if you stare at the screen way too long, like me. It's how I'm feelin' right now, bein' here with you, like this. They kiss again. LANGLY Ho-man. . . LISLITA You like it like that, hmmm? LANGLY I'm lovin' it. More, please. LISLITA (resigned sigh) More will have to wait until later. It's getting late. What time is it? LANGLY Nearly six-thirty. LISLITA If I don't hurry, I'll be late for work. I have a step aerobics class to teach at seven-thirty in the gym at the Nautica Spa. LANGLY (sneers) Damn. Can't ya call in sick? LISLITA (mockingly, with a playful smile) *Noooo* I can't. Fitness-minded vaca- tioners are depending on me. LANGLY (keeps the whine to a minimum) And what about *me*? I'm depending on you too. (hugs her tight again) To make my fantasy come true. LISLITA Fitness classes first, fantasy-fulfilment later. All right? LANGLY Classes? Man, how many are you down for? LISLITA Two step classes, three body conditioning classes, a flat-abs session, and finally, a wind-down stretch class. I'm through by noon. 'Esta bien?' SUBTITLE 'Cool?' LANGLY (shakes his head) Phew. No wonder you've got such a killer bod. Like the Energizer bunny, you just keep goin', and goin' and goin'. When do you get some free time to unwind? LISLITA (thoughtfully) There's no rehearsal today, so after twelve, you've got me all to yourself. LANGLY Now you're talkin'. LISLITA Can I interest you in taking one of my classes? LANGLY The stretch class sounds tame enough. Wouldn't wanna tire myself out for our main event. LISLITA You'd better not. . . LANGLY Stretching, huh? It'll limber me up for greater flexibility. Or, maybe I'll just lie on my back and watch you imitate a pretzel. You're already in fantastic shape. Me, the most stretching I do is when I drag myself up from the computer, pandiculate on my way to the kitchen, and wrap my fingers around a chilled 'Surge,' or a 'Dew.' LISLITA (takes his chin between her fingers) I teach easy stretching, not yoga. LANGLY Okay, whatever. He helps her to her feet, then fits his arm around her curves. She takes another look at his watch. LISLITA I'd better get a move on. LANGLY Wait. Lemme help. With a war-ish whoop he hoists her up into his arms swashbuckler style. LISLITA 'Chulo,' what do you think you're doing? LANGLY The hardest workin' lady on the high seas deserves all the help she can get. Allow me. . . LISLITA You're crazy. LANGLY (grins) Yeah, crazy in love. LISLITA Careful, don't hurt yourself. CUT TO- INT.-PROMENADE DECK- ELEVATOR BANK- DAY The six mirrored elevators are less than thirty paces from the padded seating, behind the largest of the three casinos on the deck. While waiting for an elevator to arrive, Langly hefts her a few times until her frothy giggling draws a smattering of curious stares from fellow early risers. When an elevator finally comes, the paying guests allow them to load on all by themselves for the ride down to her stateroom. CUT TO- INT.-EMPRESS DECK, MID-SHIPS CORRIDOR, STATEROOM 214- DAY LISLITA (pretends to pat herself down) I'm not wearing my key. Langly sets her on her feet. LANGLY Knock, 'cos maybe your cuz's in there. LISLITA I hate to wake her. (looks at him thoughtfully) What do you mean, maybe she's in there? Where else would she be at this hour? LANGLY Maybe she spent the night with Mulder. LISLITA (surprised) Oh? They're like that, 'verdad?' SUBTITLE Is that true? LISLITA Dana says they have a pretty good working relationship. She didn't seem to suggest they had anything more. LANGLY Well, I for one, think they do, and Fro' doesn't like admitting they do. Byers is still undecided. G'head knock. She hesitates a moment longer to bug Langly. LANGLY Okay, I will. There isn't a sound on the other side of the door until suddenly then they hear what sounds like the hustling of shuffling feet. Lislita's about to say something, but the -bam- of the cabin door bursting open prevents her. Mulder and Scully spill out, suited up in T's, sweats and running shoes. MULDER (sounds out of breath) There they are, Scully, and you were worried. (switches gears) We're heading for the Sports Deck to get in a few laps before breakfast. The ship's got a great track. Lislita nods agreeably, and wreathes her arms around Langly's waist. MULDER With all this rich food, we're taking some preventative measures. Eh, Scully? Clearly, his counterpart isn't listening, with her 'F.B.I.' eyes giving her cousin and Langly, him especially, a good going over. SCULLY (deceptively calm) Where were you two all night, Langly? MULDER (not as subtle) Scully. . . He ropes his friend's eye with a knowing look of lasso. Langly hurls Scully's pervasive look right back in her scowling face. LANGLY Gettin' ta know each other better. LISLITA (slips in after the beat) We were on the Promenade Deck, Dana. You won't believe this, but we spent the night right on the deck, on the cushioning, just talking until we. (a little grin spurs her on) Until we fell asleep. She bites a tiny lower section of lip, somewhat unnerved by her relative's tenor. LANGLY (picks up the slack) Yeah, we crashed just like that, together, out in the open on the deck's runner. We rapped-out, then fell out. Unreal, huh? SCULLY (cooly) You two must have had lots to talk about. All too familiar with *that* tone, Langly nods his 'happy-go-forget-you' nod, and plasters a deathly bored look on his face. LISLITA Oh, we did, Dana. Langly slips his arm around his girl's waist. LANGLY Bet your boots. LISLITA Langly's fascinating, but of course, you know that. The current subject under discussion winks at the out-of-sorts female federal agent. SCULLY (through slitted lips) Langly's a lot of things. LANGLY (snidely) So, you two were having fun in there, were ya? SCULLY Mulder showed up two minutes before you two did. LANGLY Uh, huh. So, uh. . .are you guys gonna have any breakfast, or are ya gonna run right through it? MULDER Like I said, we'll get a few laps in before we head for the buffet in the Horizon Bar and Grill on the Lido Deck, once we're through. We're skipping the formality of the dining room so we won't have to change after our run. Man, I could get so used to the casual life. LANGLY Yeah, right. You'd commit like that, Mr. GQ? Mulder strikes a 'bring it on' pose. SCULLY Sometime after breakfast, we're going on the first mate's walking tour of the ship. Langly snorks through his nose, and she glares at him, still upset about his liberty with Lislita. SCULLY What did *you* plan doing today, Langly? Langly smiles wryly. . . LANGLY Nothin' much. Hangin' with Lisa. When she's done givin' her exercise classes, we're gonna chill. SCULLY Define *chill*. MULDER Sculleee. . . LISLITA (deferentially) Excuse me, I must change, or I'm going to be very late. (directs to Langly) 'Chulo,' do you want something to eat before I run off to work? I usually have just a glass of juice and some cereal. LANGLY I want more than just that. I'm starved. MULDER (with a chipper lilt) We'll catch up with you guys later. He and Scully begin walking off. Lislita goes inside the stateroom, and just before Langly does too, he overhears Mulder say... MULDER Scully, you can't be like that. SCULLY (waspish) Be like what? Don't tell me what I can't be, Mulder. MULDER She's a big girl, y'know. Funny thing about your garden variety adult. They don't appreciate having their business butted into, in the long run. It's pretty obvious your cousin's digging the lone-hacker big-time. Stop giving Scarecrow such a hard time. He's not the big, bad wolf. You don't know him the way I do. He's a great guy, greater friend, who's tryin' to connect with someone really nice. Why's it so hard for you to let him have his chance? SCULLY Shut-up, Mulder. Where do you get off telling me to mind my own business? She's my cousin, and I love her. I don't want her getting hurt, making a mistake in the form of. . . She glances over her shoulder to see if Langly has gone in. When their eyes lock, she starts a little, and he waves at her, thinking he has seen repo men with kinder eyes. SCULLY (mutters ominously) An overaged juvenile delinquent who knows a golden opportunity when he sees it. MULDER (sounding as though he's failed) Scully, c'mon, cut him some slack. You know he's not a user. A stone 'Trekkie,' like me, sure-- SCULLY That's ample reason alone. MULDER But *not* a golddigging opportunist, the way you're making him out to be. Doesn't he deserve the benefit of a little romance in his life, Scully? SCULLY Mulder. . . She is giving him the 'must I tell you again?' look. MULDER Yeah, Scully, I know. Shut-up. (shrugs) Race ya to the elevators. SCULLY You're on, buster. END I FADE OUT THEME BREAK FADE IN EXT. THE IMAGINATION- THE LIDO DECK-DAY LEGEND READS SUNDAY, 1:00 P.M. CAMERA PANS We see the lively pool deck swamped with colorful seafarers attired in varying degrees of beach- and sun-wear. Sun worshippers have their bodies draped over every chaise lounge the maintenance crew set out for the first full day out at sea crowd. The splashy 12'x 6' gradated pool is packed with kids of all ages. CUT TO Krycek is wearing a skin breathable synthmesh facial disguise. He's wearing Bermuda shorts and an off-white colored polo shirt, a waiter's garb. He holds a serving tray, and in the waist- band of his pants, an order pad is wedged. Atypically, he is doting on a sandy-haired, 29-year old yuppie type. KRYCEK What can I get for you, sir? YUPPIE (surly) Get me a triple sec. Oh--and a. . . (pauses, as he looks up, he shades his unprotected eyes to get a better glimpse of his bald server) On second thought, bud, better make it a tonic water with a spritz of lime instead. Trying to cut down, wife's orders. He rises from the lounge, his towel wrapped around his skinny body. Krycek is busy amending the order. YUPPIE I'll be in the Jacuzzi beneath the slide. (flicks a finger at the smaller of the two bubbling pools) And bring the same for my wife who'll be joining me in a couple of minutes. KRYCEK (serviceably) Very good, sir. He pines for his nanite tormenting device as he fakes a sincere smile. His train of thought is splintered by wild, raucous hollering. His eyes narrow and shoot to the uproar's point of origin. CUT TO LANGLY (exhuberantly) YO--HEY, LIS--HERE I COME! CLOSE ON Krycek's eyes dart over to the exotic vision of loveliness he covets for himself. He sees her sitting on the lip of the Jacuzzi the yuppie is settling into. She is wearing a conservative, one-piece black bathing suit. Her long hair is swept up in loopy ringlets, like netting. Krycek salivates, and brightens when he considers that her loud, blond geek is about to infect himself. CUT TO LANGLY LOOK OUT BELOW! POOL STAFFER (cautionarily) Sir, wait please, until the splash-in area clears. LANGLY Yeah, sure. No sweat. He scans over the sides of the wide flume, doing a little dance of intense anticipation. He takes a squint behind him to view the long line, and sighs. LANGLY Yo, hurry up down there--the rest of us up here would like to get at least one slide in before the sun goes down. Lislita has her dainty, painted toes dangling in the frothy water. She raises her head, and lifts her wine cooler to Langly, with a smile. Though he can't make her out so well because she's holding his glasses, he waves again at her fuzzy outline. CUT TO POOL STAFFER Okay, sir, go ahead. . . LANGLY Hot-dog. Gangway. . . He issues more ear-rattling hollers, and promptly gains his audience again. LANGLY (threads himself through the needle and explodes) BONZAI!! We see all who are lounging too close to the pool at this end scramble for dryness after his tidal, tail-in-first splash-in. Krycek throws Langly dagger looks as he hauls himself up and out of the splashdown area. Krycek hurries off to offset what being in the wrong place at the wrong time will exact. PULL BACK LANGLY (race-walks up to the Jacuzzi) Did you see how fast I came down? (swings his long legs over the lip and slides in next to Lislita) LISLITA 'Por supuesto que si.' SUBTITLE Of course I did. LISLITA You're so much fun to watch. LANGLY Hey, I've got a cool idea. Let's go down together. Game? LISLITA Can't we just sit here and relax together? Those enthusiastic ladies who took all my classes wore me out. LANGLY (nodding) Serious...excuse. You're in great shape. C'mon. Hey, what if we go down once, and then come back in here to mellow out? LISLITA I'm afraid of heights. LANGLY It's not that high. (he palms her chin) You fly, right? She nods, but her eyes still read, 'no way am I risking it.' LANGLY Aw, c'mon, hon. (his large hand caps the closest shapely knee to him, then jiggles it) You won't get hurt. Promise. Think I'd let anything happen to ya? I'll hold ya tight, and you'll be fine. LISLITA (sees he won't take 'no' for an answer. Hesitantly) All right. . . LANGLY Solid! C'mon, let's do it. They're in the throes of making the bold move, when the 'Spookies' stroll up, with it being evident that Scully is pleased they caught up with them. MULDER You kids having fun? (before Scully can say anything) Ask us some statistic about this vessel. Name your question, any question. Try and stump us. LISLITA (archly) How is water kept outside the ship? SCULLY This is to see if you were *really* paying attention, Mulder. Detail the entire process. MULDER (suggestively) Do I get extra credit? SCULLY Depends how well I like your answer. MULDER (puckers his lips, and rubs hands together) Ah, I love a challenge. Okay. . .the automatic bilge pump, which I thought bears a striking resemblance to R2D2, pumps water into a series of pressurized elimination tanks which extract any oil from the water before returning it to the sea. Langly rolls his eyes along with his head, and demonstratively yawns. Mulder genuflects to the ladies. MULDER Then, the oily water separator takes over, taking water from the last bilge water tank and removes literally almost all contaminants, and superflous particulates--for a cleaner environment, don'tcha know. When the water goes over the side, back to the drink, it's less than fifteen parts per million of oil or other particles. LISLITA He *was* paying attention, Dana. Langly looks to the busy 115 foot, fourteen feet high water slide forlornly with a sigh. SCULLY Okay, not bad. Now for bonus points. The two foot diameter propeller shaft transfers power from the main engine back to where? Mulder pulls on his chin, wanting to appear stumped. He snaps his fingers. MULDER I've got it. From the main engine back to the controllable pitch propeller system. Those mats we saw, hanging on the shaft, have a two-fold purpose. They regulate the torque, and monitor the varying rates of speed. LANGLY (feigning another yawn he doesn't bother to cover) Now that we're totally bored, can you call a recess? Lislita laughs explosively, but Scully's fixated disapproval reins her in. SCULLY (sharply) Do you mind, Langly, if I pirate *my* cousin away for a little while? MULDER Pirate being the operative word. (in an aside to Langly) Puts a crimp in your monopolization, huh? LANGLY (returns the aside even softer) Bummer. . . (defends to Scully) But, but we were gonna. . . He's visibly squirming under the burden of Scully's judgmental eyes, and his girl's soft ones. LANGLY It's cool. Whatever. (Lislita gives him a big, warm smile) No prob. (to Lislita) We'll hook up later, babe. Have fun. The men watch the women prepare to depart. LISLITA (with Scully's arm hooked securely through hers) I've got a surprise for you, 'chulo.' LANGLY Yeah? What 'it is?' LISLITA Franco, the guy who I was speaking with on the phone before we left the gym, called to let me know that I don't have to sing at any of the discos tonight. When I'm through in the Dynasty Lounge, around ten, I'm all yours. . . LANGLY Hot damn--all right! Lislita blows him a kiss goodbye, and the women head sternward. Off screen, we hear Scully say how much she's looking forward to going to the Nautica Spa for a seaweed mineral wrap. Langly is so caught up watching them leave, that when he turns to say something to Mulder, he can't find him. Somebody's beach ball makes contact with his left hallux, and he kneels down to retrieve the spherical rainbow. When he straightens up, he feels the initial soreness of what too much sun does to him. RED-CHEEKED, FRECKLED-FACE LITTLE GIRL (pouting) That's *mine*. LANGLY Well, I wasn't gonna keep it, frecks. He gives her back her toy, and is annoyed when she doesn't even say, 'thank you.' He starts combing the immediate area for Mulder again, and begins to think he's been deserted until he faces away from port when he hears his name being called. MULDER (o.s. through cupped hands) Langly, man, I'm over here, dude. CUT TO Mulder is waving at him from the other Jacuzzi; the one fully exposed to the sun. PULL BACK CAMERA FOLLOWS LANGLY MULDER Sit in this with me a while. LANGLY Not for too long, though. The wicked burn's already workin' my back. MULDER Mind if I take a look? Langly about-faces. LANGLY It's startin' to look red, right? *Right*? MULDER Is this the normal way you soak up a little color? LANGLY Whadd'ya mean? He swipes a look over his shoulder. LANGLY How's it look? MULDER I'm colorblind, it's true, but even I can tell you look splotchy, like some deranged patchwork quilt, m'man. LANGLY For a second there, you had me worried. It's how I tan, if, technically, you really wanna call it that. And I thought block with SPF eighty'd do the trick. MULDER Maybe you'd better reapply. LANGLY Hold tight, I'll be right back. CAMERA FOLLOWS He scoots off to the chaise lounge, and quickly darts back with his weathered backpack. LANGLY Make with bein' useful, dude. Grease me up. He tosses Mulder the flipped-up bottle of Sea & Ski. When he starts in, Langly winces violently. LANGLY DAMMIT--OUCH! MULDER I dunno, Scarecrow, you might have first, bordering on a second degree burn. LANGLY Then I'd better skip sittin' in this with you, and seek shade now. Mulder hands the sunblock back to his sun-whipped friend, and resettles himself in the Jacuzzi. MULDER Yeah, you do that. (a blatant two-edged entendre) Wouldn't want a bad sunburn cramping your moves with sweet Lislita. . . LANGLY (decides to ignore that crack) I'm gonna cop another quick dip in the pool before headin' inside. (smacking of delayed reaction) Shoo, not even a bad sunburn could do that. He opens his backpack to remove a very faded T-shirt which reads, 'It's Good To Be The King.' An indistinct beehive configuration of golden crowns adorns the front and back. He dumps the Sea & Ski into the bag. LANGLY We would've been doin' the wild thing even as we speak if you and Little Red Wagon hadn't shown up. Mulder submerges himself beneath the water's foamy surface. Langly glares at the body under the suds. Mulder 'up periscopes' himself in that instant. MULDER Don't get all bummed behind her attitude, dude. You know Scully. Just because she doesn't think you're good enough for her cousin, doesn't mean it's true. How d'ya think I've been able to navigate her attitude all these years? Mulder smashes his fist into the lively water. LANGLY She tell you this, or is that from a profiling perspective? MULDER A little of both. LANGLY Wow, thanks for the insight, man. Like I had absolutely no clue whatsoever. She also tell you why she doesn't she think I'm good enough for her kin? MULDER Can I be frank? LANGLY Just be yourself, Mulder. Spill. I'm hangin' out on a limb here. MULDER Don't take this the wrong way, Lango, but she thinks 'you weird.' Langly's sun-bleached eyebrows fly up. MULDER At least way weird for any cousin of hers to be getting seriously involved with. LANGLY Weird? Me? Mulder makes like 'Jaws,' using both his hands as fins, then hinging his palms at their heels, to open and close. MULDER Like I said, don't take it personally. LANGLY How long has she felt like that? MULDER Uh, well...practically from the beginning, when all of you met. (hastily) She thinks you three are great at what you do, for us, but-- LANGLY (bitingly) Bottom line. . .she thinks I suck 'cos she thinks I'm some kind of freakin' weirdo. MULDER (juts out lower lip) And, her cousin's the heiress of one of Mexico's largest by-productional synthetics operations 'Topico Central,' or something that sounds close to it. LANGLY Yeah. I know. It's Topicol-Central Comercio, S.A. I checked her people out. She comes from rollin' in heavy 'pesos.' She doesn't haveta be here doin' what she does, in any way, shape, or form. Her pops could buy her this frickin' cruise company and a host of small countries, several times over. MULDER Ipso facto, Scully think's you're after Lislita for her considerable wealth. Langly looks pole-axed, then gravely hurt. LANGLY How in the hell could she think that? That's *not* what I'm about. Never have been, never will be. MULDER I kind of get the feeling Scully never thought you two would hit it off the way you have. Here's the inside scoop. . .this isn't just a routine vacation for her. She's here to make sure you two *don't* solidly connect. LANGLY Why're you tellin' me all this? MULDER (incredulous) Wh'ya think? 'Cause you're my friend, and, personally speaking, you and her cousin make a mighty fine couple, in my humble profiling opinion. LANGLY (muttering to himself) Damn, I thought Scully was *my* friend too. Go figure folks. MULDER In a professional context, you are. She doesn't have a problem when we need something 'cracked,' or whatnot. What I think she's having a problem with is, seeing you as someone other than 'one of the Three Stooges,' out from under the onus of being one-dimensional Ringo Langly. . .geeky computer nerd, period; sans social skills. LANGLY (lowers his voice) And some fuckin' golddigger. MULDER Uh. . .she's out to clamp down on both descriptions. Langly chucks the backpack at the nearest chaise lounge, still muttering. LANGLY (loudly) I don't give a flyin' fart what Scully thinks! MULDER You tell her, Lone Wolf. LANGLY I will, dammit--I will. Know what? I'm gonna tell her about that night back in D.C. when we went to that Italian restaurant to celebrate knowin' you for all these years. 'Member when I went to the store to get some antacid, and Lisa came with? MULDER Uh huh, I do. LANGLY Well, what we *didn't* mention was that this punk-ass in the store threatened Lisa with a knife. (voice cracks, shaken by emotion) He wanted her to go with him, for up-to- no-good purposes. I faked him out with some virtual kung fu I applied in reality, kicked the knife right outta his fuckin' hand, and he fled. One damsel in distress rescued in real life, Mulder, man, thanks to me. --And I knew zip about her bundles. MULDER Wow, Langly, then you should speak up. Both of you should. LANGLY Lisa thinks I should say somethin' about the incident too. I dunno. I don't want it to come out like my savin' her's the only reason she likes me. MULDER I'm sure that's not the only reason why. Hell, I'm impressed, and I've been on your side for ages. Fact is, I had pointed out to Scully how plain it was Lita was into you before we rolled up at the bistro. There's one thing, though. LANGLY What? MULDER When you and Scully went to the movies for the 'Phantom Menace' premiere. . . LANGLY Yeah, so? What about it? Thought *you* got over that. It wasn't like the plan was to put moves on her. MULDER Sure, I know that now, but why'd you tell Scully you were an addict? LANGLY Sa-say what? He flinches, and his bottom lip quivers. LANGLY 'Cos it felt right to at the time? How the hell should I know? She was real easy to talk to that night before the show got started. I started off goofin' about how much I liked Coke, the beverage, after I spilled some of it on her, and the next thing I know it just sorta slipped out how much I liked the sniffable 'real thing,' and the other junk I used to do, back when I was a real jerk about where my life was headin'. Hell, I dragged myself outta that hell hole I kept throwin' myself into, time and time again, and wised up, finally. Began listening. . .If it wasn't for 'Hike, man. I've come a long way since, and I'm sure as hell proud of it. MULDER You should be. LANGLY (mutters, sounding dejected) She acted like she was impressed 'cos I kicked my habit... MULDER (beat) I'm not saying she isn't, but Scully wouldn't dismiss the fact that you used. LANGLY Narc. . . MULDER And here you are, with 'yon' heart on your sleeve, with your sights dead set on said fair cousin. You know she's going to be looking out for her relative's best interests, and I'm gonna be 'frank' again, you're not it, in her estimation. LANGLY (looking like part of a criminal line-up) I can't believe how hard-nose she is, after all these years. C'mon, Mulder, you know when I say shit like, 'gimme drugs, what drugs are you on. . .I want some, smoke 'em if ya got 'em,' I'm just kiddin'. Damn. MULDER I really think you should have a serious heart-to-heart with my Federally-allocated other half. Clear the air. LANGLY (a strange look in his eyes) Yeah? Like what do I say? Sorry I told you I was a stone junkie, Scully? I liked hard drugs better than soft ones, so it was easier to give 'em up on account of I OD'ed so many times, it was either stop, or die? MULDER Do you want--hey, Langly, where're you going? PULL BACK He is halfway to the swimming pool when he decides to turn his head around. LANGLY What's she think? I'll pull a recidivism? Seduce Lisa into a life of full-blown sex, drugs an' rock an' roll? MULDER Don't go. We'll talk some more. . . CAMERA FULL ON LANGLY He flashes a 'peace-out.' LANGLY Later, Mulder. Gotta go clear my head first. Ease the burn on my back too. I'd like it if we rap some more, later on. Mulder returns the gesture. CAMERA FOLLOWS LANGLY He slips his head through the opening in the T-shirt, figuring to wear it into the pool as he toys with the idea of doing a cannonball. He eyes the water speculatively. LANGLY (to himself) Better not. They'll ban my ass. He climbs the ladder, and slowly lowers himself into the shimmering roil of ripples. He burys himself beneath the surface, holding his breath, wondering what it would feel like if he filled his lungs with water instead of air. He cannot do it, because that would be the coward's way out. Just as his head breaks the surface, something light smacks his crown. A dorky-looking kid, of fifteen, wearing black, thick-framed glasses looks at him concernedly, at first, then funny. DORKY KID Hey, are you okay? LANGLY (sarcastically) Top o' the world. He twists around, and locates the phantom culprit, which is a beach ball, innocently floating away. It looks very much like the one that accosted his toe, earlier. He snags the glossy orb, looking around. LANGLY Who belongs to this? The freckled-face little girl is standing in the area of the pool where the depth is no higher than 4 feet. She is holding her arms out, looking at Langly pointedly. RED-CHEEKED, FRECKLED-FACE LITTLE GIRL (smiling at him) You wanna 'pay' catch 'wif' me? LANGLY (does a half-smirk, half-smile) Not right now, cutie. If I'm here tomorrow, maybe. He tosses the ball over the shellacked barrier that prescribes the demarcation. RED-CHEEKED, FRECKLED-FACE LITTLE GIRL (after making the easy catch) 'Tanks' you very much, 'Mista. . .' Langly stands where he is for a couple of moments, grinning as he watches her play with an older boy he assumes is her brother since the kid has the same red cheeks and pudgy build. While he watches, he decides once and for all that Scully's snippy attitude isn't going to interfere with Lislita's and his plans to have their 'fun.' He dips down in the water again, closes his eyes and breathes deeply. When he exhales, all the tension leaves him. PULL BACK LIFEGUARD (authoritatively) Sir--wearing articles of clothing in the pools is prohibited. You'll have to take your T-shirt off if you want to stay in. LANGLY (rises to leave) No hassle, man, I'm gone. END II FADE OUT THEME BREAK FADE IN INT. THE IMAGINATION- NAUTICA SPA- MASSAGE ROOM-DAY LEGEND READS SUNDAY, 4:15 P.M. We see Lislita standing in the connector outside Massage Studio #3. There is a look of quandry on her face as she weighs whether she should knock on the door which might disturb her cousin's session. The young woman has changed from her bathing suit into a long wrap skirt and matching light blue cotton top. She makes up her mind. LISLITA (knocks lightly) Dana. . .Dana? The door is unlocked, she discovers, upon turning the knob. The laborer, wearing maintenance coveralls, whom she finds sweeping up, startles her. The imposter is none other than Krycek. KRYCEK Sorry, nope. I'm Jack. Nobody's here but me. You probably just missed her. He goes back to his sweeping. KRYCEK (not looking up) Last name's Daniels. Think they're done using this room for today. (looks up) And you are? Warily, she fits her hand around the doorknob poking her in the back. LISLITA (stiffly) L. Marti. I work at the gym. I'm one of the fitness instructors. She turns the knob as Krycek lays the broom aside against the treatment table, unnerving her with his ferine stare. KRYCEK (advances on her with right hand fully extended) A pleasure. . . Before he can press his advantage, she opens the door behind her and exits, leaving him more enticed than before. CUT TO INT. IMAGINATION, RIVIERA DECK-CREWMEN QUARTERS-NIGHT It is now several hours later when we see Krycek, here in his cabin, chugging down the final installment of the antidote. He suppresses the gag reflex, and profuse sweating immediately follows. Any discomfort gradually passes. He slathers shaving cream on his face, employs the razor, and quickly follows that up with a bracing splash of aftershave. He smiles at himself in the mirror. KRYCEK (in soliloquy) She has no choice once she sees him suffering. Now it's time to pay a visit to the Infirmary to see how the contagion's coming along. . . CUT TO INT. ATLANTIC DECK-THE SPIRIT DINING ROOM-NIGHT LEGEND READS 8:30 P.M. The more elegant of the two deluxe dining rooms aboard the ship is a bustling beehive of accommodative activity as eager diners enter, and promptly take their seats. Hustling waiters skillfully avoid bumping into the guests and themselves. We see Scully, Langly and Mulder seated at their pre-assigned table. The agents, more formally-attired, are conversing quietly, while Langly, dressed a lot more informally, in black jeans and a lime-colored tee shirt, sits looking squeamish. Being treated as if he isn't there is getting to him, that, and the overall feeling of not feeling so well. LANGLY Is it hot in here, or what? SCULLY I feel fine. What about you, Mulder? MULDER Ditto. (gives Langly critical eyes) You feel okay? LANGLY Not that great. SCULLY Maybe you're hungry. The menu for tonight looks interesting. LANGLY I'm not that hungry. I'm really startin' to feel like crap. Guess I overdid the sun today. My back's killin' me. This sucks. Antonio, their waiter, a soft-spoken Panamanian, appears at the table. Once their orders are taken, and Tony leaves, they resume their conversation. MULDER You were in the pool a long time, y'know. LANGLY Yeah, I know. I shoulda wore a suit of armor. Mulder sips more of his champagne. MULDER The angles of the sun's rays are more direct at this latitude, more intense. LANGLY Knowin' that, as if I didn't, really helps. How do you spell relief short of stocking the pool with a Mac Truck- load of ice cubes and I dive in butt naked? Scully and Mulder exchange sidelong glances. SCULLY (as though smoothing out a 5-year old) Let me have a look, Langly. LANGLY Huh? SCULLY Come on. Let's go to the lobby, and I'll have a look. LANGLY Bu-but like. . . SCULLY I'll have a look, and give you my clinical opinion. LANGLY (standing in stages) All-all right. SCULLY Mulder, when my jumbo shrimp cocktail gets here, I'd better not see any missing. Mulder rolls his eyes and generously smacks his lips. Scully and Langly pick their way through the non-stop movement until they make it past the dining room's lavish foyer, and veer off to the left. Scully leads him over to the empty stately reading room, and motions for him to go in for the impromptu exam. SCULLY (coaxingly) Okay, Langly, time for the unveiling. He begins hiking up his semi-wrinkled shirt, grimacing to beat the band. SCULLY (sounding expectant) I've got some first aid salve if you nee--dammit, Langly! LANGLY (startled) What's wrong? How ugly is it? SCULLY (agitated) It's far from good. The 'just how bad' is mirrored in her face. LANGLY Give it to me straight, Doctor, I can take it. SCULLY You don't see what I do. I think it earns you a swift trip to the Infirmary. Let's go. LANGLY (pulls his shirt down) Nooooo--do I haveta? SCULLY *Let's go*. LANGLY Aw, hey, Scully. . .it just hurts a little now. SCULLY Yeah, right. March, Mister. Your back looks like someone's been at it with a branding iron. The radiating discoloration and extreme tumescence have me worried. It just doesn't look like a bad case of sunburn. LANGLY (the panick is stark) It-it d-doesn't? Wha'd'ya think i-it is? SCULLY I don't know. I'd like to have the ship's doctor see this. She, or he, might have more familiarity with whatever this is, here in the tropics. LANGLY I don't wanna go--no. I'll be all right now. For real! SCULLY Langly, stop whining. I'm taking you to the Infirmary, and that's it. Give me a minute while I tell Mulder. I'll be right back. LANGLY (complains to her retreating back) Maybe I won't be here when you get back. When the deck bucks beneath his feet, he sinks into the nearest red wine-stained highback chair. Not more than a minute ago, while they were talking, the Captain had announced there would be calm seas all the way to Playa De Carmen. Compared to the way he is feeling now, having been seasick at the outset, was a snap. LANGLY (mutters while doubling over) Hurry, Scully, hurry--please. When she returns, she finds him hugging his thighs, repeating her name like a mantra over his knees. SCULLY C'mon, Langly. . . Can you stand? He opens his eyes, and nods. LANGLY (throatily) Yeah, think so. You're right, Scully, I'd better go. I feel like I'm dyin.' SCULLY I doubt that, but let's make it quick. Struggles to lift himself up from the chair. LANGLY Uh, Scully? Th-think I'm gonna need your help. All five feet zip of Scully fits beneath his left armpit, with ample space to spare. The pretty pastel amber 'thingy' she's wearing wrinkles instantly on contact. As they stagger off to the elevator bank, Mulder catches up with them. MULDER (excitedly) Hey, wait for me. What made you think I didn't want to go too, Scully? The way you made it sound, how could I stay away? He holds up a jumbo shrimp close to Scully's mouth, and she opens it so he can pop it in. He holds up another shrimp before Langly's mouth, but he shakes his head violently to decline, so Mulder eats it instead. MULDER How're you feeling, m'man? He tucks himself under Langly's other armpit which proves to be a snugger fit. LANGLY Like shit warmed over, then hung out to dry. Scully squeezes his midsection, and he jumps a little in surprise. SCULLY C'mon, Langly, the sooner we get you to the Infirmary, the better. MULDER What deck's the Infirmary on, Scully? SCULLY The deck below the Riviera; even with the waterline, in the vicinity of the aft gangway. The elevator nearest the wall arrives first, and the trio loads into it. SCULLY (as the elevator doors close) Sun over exposure's never killed anyone. ..Uhmmm. LANGLY Wha'd'ya mean, uhmmm? SCULLY Well, not in a day, leastwise. Squamous Cell Carcinoma, a precursor to skin cancer, with its direct, developmental correlation to repeated sun abuse, develops over time. I hope a bad case of sunburn is all you have, Langly. LANGLY Sun abuse? Geez, just add it to my long list of abuses, huh? Scully quirks her eyebrows, and Mulder makes a project out of clearing his throat. The elevator stops, its doors open, and within minutes they're staggering into the Infirmary with a dazed-looking Langly. The paternalistic physician, one Dr. Ephraim Renaldeni, a sun-tanned man in his mid fifties, is just stepping into the outer office. He gives Scully a quick nod, and then his eyes settle upon the sick man. RENALDENI (a note of familiarity) More seasickness, young man? Langly shakes his head 'no,' and falters. SCULLY Doctor? RENALDENI Yes. Dr. E., at your service. MULDER E? RENALDENI The E's for Ephraim. Ephraim Renaldeni, what seems to be the problem? SCULLY I'm Dana Scully, a Forensic Pathologist with the FBI, as well as a medical doctor, although I don't practice. MULDER We're partners within the Bureau, sir. The name's Mulder. He extends his hand and shakes the doctor's. RENALDENI Am I looking at some sort of official business? SCULLY No. We're on vacation. Our friend, Mr. Langly, seems to have come down with something I'm not familiar with. Perhaps after you've taken a look at his back, you might be able to tell us if he's come down with something peculiar to the tropics. RENALDENI Fair enough. Let's have a looksee. The ship's doctor indicates with a flick of his meaty hand that they should follow him into one of the adjoining examination rooms. They lay Langly on his stomach, and Scully begins lifting the back of his tee-shirt up and away. LANGLY Scu--Scully, I thi-think I'm gon-gonna hurl. Mulder backs off from the table, while Scully and the ship's doctor step in closer. After Langly's through vomiting, Scully levels the back of her hand against his clammy forehead and he falls silent, having passed out cold. RENALDENI (surveying Langly's back) That's a terrible rash. What's he allergic to? SCULLY I really wouldn't know. MULDER I don't think he's allergic to anything, but I wouldn't swear to it. . . CUT TO A shadowy figure slips into the outer office, and filters behind the partially-opened door of examination room #1. In the space of time, Langly starts coming to. VOICE OVER We hear Scully and Dr. Renaldeni conjecturing. The ship's doctor excuses himself, and leaves to re-enter the outer office because he thinks he hears something. CUT TO LANGLY (haltingly) Wh-where am I? (starts rising up from the exam table) While he was out, Mulder and the two doctors rolled him over onto his back. SCULLY Easy, easy. Don't get up. You lost consciousness. She hands him his glasses. MULDER Yeah. How're you feeling? SCULLY Do you still feel nauseous? LANGLY Not so much now. I feel like I've been swimming with sharks and they've taken some hefty bites outta me. (erratically, he moves his right hand away from his mouth) How long was I out? SCULLY Just a few minutes. Not long. LANGLY Feels a lot longer; like it's been several days. Man, my head's splittin'. SCULLY You don't have a fever, which is good, and you're *not* sunburned. LANGLY Then what the hell's wrong with me? SCULLY We wish, that is Dr. Renaldeni and I, knew for certain. It appears you have a highly inflammatory, insidious rash on your back and chest. LANGLY It spread? Scully nods. SCULLY Spreading. You could be having an allergic reaction to something you ate in the last twenty-four hours, although some of your other symptoms suggest it could be more than just a bad reaction to food. LANGLY (in wisps) The *only* kinda food I'm allergic to is broccoli, and I sure as hell haven't had any since I was ten. Check this out, I've been chowing down on Frohike's inventive grub all these years and I'm still alive, so go figure. (fitfully) What the hell's wrong with me? SCULLY We're going to run some tests. If a pathogen is responsible, we'll try our best to identify it, although. . . (lowers her voice) this certainly isn't the last word in well-equipped laboratory facility. MULDER (sounding helpful) I saw a microscope on the desk in the second exam room. SCULLY Well, that's a start. Mulder pats her shoulder as she takes Langly's pulse again. MULDER Y'know, Scully, compared to that ware- house in Sisseton, South Dakota, where you ran those series of bacteriological analyses on the townsfolk striken with that mysterious plantar phage, this place's like the analysis labs back at home office. Scully leans her hand against Langly's forehead for another rudimentary update of his current temperature. SCULLY Of course you know you're staying here overnight. LANGLY Oh, crap, goody. (in the same breath, sounding terrified) Scully! I ca-can't move my right arm! SCULLY What about your left one? LANGLY It's tingling. SCULLY Can you move your legs? Not waiting for his answer, she thumps below his right knee for the reflex. LANGLY I felt that. She does the same to his left knee, and it reflexively responds. LANGLY I felt that too. SCULLY Raise your left arm. LANGLY (he does) Yeah. It's tingling like crazy, but at least it moves. Scully makes running taps along his left arm, then his right. LANGLY This is like so totally, freakin' weird. I can't move the right arm, but I feel that. Scully quits the tappings, and exchanges a stumped look with Mulder whose eyebrows have knitted into a single line. Before he can comment, Renaldeni enters the small examination room with two youngsters in pajamas, with their parents who have chosen to remain by the door. The kids stare at Langly. LANGLY Hey, I know you. (to the Agents) I know them. They were in the pool with me this afternoon. RENALDENI Dr. Scully, these children seem to be presenting with the same rash that your friend has. SCULLY I think the first thing to be done is run blood tests and toxocology screens. MULDER (softly to Scully) Sounds like it's becoming official business, eh? SCULLY Let's not jump the gun just yet. Just because we don't know what we're dealing with doesn't mean you have to go into X-mode. The intense outbreak of petechiae is symptomatic of typhus by ricksettia . . .ship fever, which is normally transmitted by fleas, lice and/or mites. Nothing inexplicable in and of itself. MULDER (his eyebrows come alive, and he rolls his big, boogeying hazel-browns) C'mon now, Scully, after all these years, how can you expect me *not* to go into 'X-mode' when you verbalize all clinical cryptic like that? You know how much it turns me on. You should. Scully, just as impressively, rolls her even bigger sapphire baby-blues right back. SCULLY (sounding clipped) Not now. . . RENALDENI I'll take them into exam room two and draw some samples. SCULLY I'll draw some of my friend's. RENALDENI There are some gowns over there, Dr. Scully, your friend can change into. When you're done, you can take him to the small ward that's through the door by the file cabinet. SCULLY Thank you, Doctor. Renaldeni leaves with the children while the freckled-face, little red- haired girl is in the throes of waving good-bye to Langly, and he waves back. Quite to Scully's surprise, the child points to Scully's head, and she nods, smiling. Once they've left, she quickly locates the paraphernalia necessary to extract Langly's blood. LANGLY Mulder, man, do me a favor? SCULLY (directed to Langly) Make a fist. MULDER Yeah, sure. Name it. LANGLY Tell Lisa what's gone down. Let her know where I am, okay? MULDER Sure thing, pal. How about I wait for her backstage and bring her here once she's through? LANGLY I'd appreciate it, dude. MULDER You've got it. He leaves. Scully finishes the phlebotomy, having drawn off two viles' worth of blood. LANGLY (squinting at the crook of his left arm where there's a small red mark) Uh. . .Scully? SCULLY (examining the samples) Hhmmm? LANGLY I. . .I can't see too good now. (squints harder, then looks around the room) Is it gettin' real dark in here, or is it me? SCULLY (alarmed, looks away from the vials to him) You can't see? LANGLY (sounding afraid) No--it's gettin' very dim. SCULLY (stringently) We'll skip the gown, and get you right into bed, right now. She puts the collection vials aside, and helps him off the narrow table with its dressing paper coming off with him. He can't help but chuckle a little. SCULLY What? This is funny to you now? LANGLY Like, d'uh. Hell no. It's just hearing *you* say *that* to *me*, is. SCULLY (airily) Context is everything. Just keep moving. CAMERA FOLLOWS We see them head into the small antiseptic ward which contains a total of four hospital beds with blazingly starched bedding. Langly probes the air directly ahead of him with his left arm extended. His right hangs stiffly at his side, and his eyesight diminishes further in just the time it takes them to near the bed to their left, closest to the door, and directly beneath a gently glowing semi-shaded ceiling lamp. RENALDENI (O.S. coming from exam room #2) Dr. Scully, would you mind coming in here, please? I'd like you to see this. SCULLY Langly, I'll be back. Try not to worry. I know that sounds-- LANGLY Lame? SCULLY Uh huh, but at least give it a try instead of driving yourself up the wall, imagining you've contracted the latest so-called incureable disease. We'll get to the bottom of this. LANGLY Promise? SCULLY There are no promises in medicine, but we have something to go on. I haven't worked on the X-Files all these years for nothing. You say the children were in the pool the same time as you were. If more folks present, who were also in the pool at the same time all of you were, then already there's a commonality as a jump off point, and we take it from there. She gives the top of Langly's head an even stroke, and leaves the ward. PULL BACK >From beneath Langly's bed, we're able to make out the fuzzy form of Krycek. He knows that removing himself from the room will be that much easier since the infected man can no longer see very well. Noiselessly, he works himself out from under the bed, able to overhear bits and pieces of the conversation Scully is having with Renaldeni. Before departing, he hovers over Langly in his sickbed for a closer inspection to confirm that which had been touted in theory, and he smiles. LANGLY (coughs hoarsely, then mumbles) Ba-ba-babe is that you? We see Krycek step away, over to the door of the adjoining room, and closes it. LANGLY H-Hey, who-who's there? Krycek's perverse smile broadens, and then he almost has a heart attack. MULDER (O.S. coming from the outer office) Yeah, Langly, we're coming. . . Recoiling like a sprung spring, Krycek slinks into the deep shadow behind the heavy door to the outer office. Handily, the door is ajar. CLOSE ON KRYCEK (deep within his throat) Pity *you* didn't go swimming this afternoon, Mulder. PULL BACK Mulder and Lislita, still dressed in her 'Pirates of the Caribbean' costume, enter the ward. Mulder clicks on the night-light on the antiseptic looking nightstand. LANGLY (swallows a mouthful of tears) Stop clownin'. I'm totally freakin' blind. Lislita lowers herself beside him on the bed, and smoothes down his unruly hair, then veers near to his distraught face. LISLITA 'Chulo?' LANGLY (his good hand shoots towards her at the sound of her constricted voice) No--stay back. Whatever the hell this is, I don't want you catchin' it. She ignores his stern enjoining, and gently kisses above the inflammation the the right of his mouth. LISLITA Blind? But, but how? 'Es incompren- sible.' SUBTITLE It makes no sense. LANGLY (sullenly) I know. None of this does. LISLITA What does Dana think is wrong? Her eyes don't stray from Langly's face which is showing angry indications of the insidious rash. END III FADE OUT THEME BREAK FADE IN INT. THE INFIRMARY -NIGHT MULDER (expansively) Both she and the ship's doc conjecture it might be some form of pathogen at work LANGLY Or, (he gulps several times, then winces) A. . .biotoxin. What's goin' down weighs in a little too heavily on the side of this not being a fluke of circumstance. I haven't worked with you guys for this long to gloss over the possibility that extreme possibilities could be at work here, man. Maybe the Syndicate is messed up in this 'Ebola moment' in some convoluted way. Couldn't it, Mulder? LISLITA (frowning, and looking lost) The Syndicate? Mulder gives Langly his most critical eyeballing. MULDER Like Scully just said, let's not jump the gun before having anything concrete to go on. (his eyebrows do a trampoline routine in Lislita's direction) Langly looks shocked, as though he'd just heard something like Skinner taking part in a peace rally. But, all the same, he catches on, sighs heavily, and nods, sorry that he opened his big mouth. LANGLY I'm cool with that. (to Lislita) I'm exaggerating about the blindness, sweetie. I'm seein' stuff fuzzy, that's all. Scully says I'm gonna be fine. A good night's rest here, and in the morning, I'll be as good as new; really overdid the sun bit today. MULDER (leans down and close to Langly's right ear) My other half could be contacting the CDC even as we speak, I'll go check. Maybe she and Dr. *E* have already made a preliminary diagnosis. Lemme see. Meanwhile, you've got some mighty fine company. He goes next door, and closes the door after himself. LISLITA (encouragingly, as her fingers gently scuff Langly's irritated cheek) I'm staying too, all night. She lies down beside him, after he haltingly makes room for her, and lays her head upon the corner of his shoulder and begins a circular massage at the center of his chest. LANGLY (dreamily croons) '. . .Girl, you really got me. . .you got me so I don't know what I'm doin'. . .' (stops on an upbeat) Lisa? LISLITA Yes, 'chulo?' LANGLY Could you get me some water? I'm dyin' of thirst. LISLITA Right away. 'En seguida.' SUBTITLE At once She rises, and Langly senses she's looking around for some. For moments, he thinks she's left the room because she doesn't feel close. A faint noise issues from nearby. The gelatinous gunk that's formed over his eyes prevents him from opening them now. Lislita quickly returns to the bedside, bearing a stain- less steel pitcher and a clear plastic cup. Before 'watering' him, she removes his glasses. LISLITA Here, drink this. (patiently, she fits the cup into his right hand, keeping her hand molded to his weak grip, and with her other hand at the back of his head, guides his lips to the lip of the cup) Easy, 'chulo,' easy. Not too fast. Slowly. . . LANGLY (his lips fall way from the cup) Ahhh, that's good. Thanks, sweetie. She directs the cup close to his mouth again. LISLITA More? LANGLY (tiredly) Yeah. . .a little. He manages a thin grin. He drinks his fill and she eases him back down. >From the box of tissues sitting on the nightstand, she plucks one and dabs at the corners of his mouth to sop up a little run-off. LISLITA (promise and hope in one breath) It's going to be all right. LANGLY You're gonna stay, right? LISLITA (gently) Wild horses couldn't drag me away. Krycek slides himself from behind the door with a hungry look. He wants her to turn around, wants her to see him standing there with his eyes steeped in urgency. Bonelessly, he moves in closer. LISLITA 'Chulo?' LANGLY Yeah? LISLITA I think I hear. . . MULDER (O.S. from the outer office) Hey, Langly. SCULLY (O.S. on his heels) Shhhush, Mulder, he can do without the bluster. Langly strains to hear what more the duo are saying. Krycek shrinks back into the woodwork behind the door. PULL BACK SCULLY How're you doing, Langly? LANGLY (muffled) Cruddy. With this gunk sealin' my eyes, it's like havin' pink eye. A mutant strain. SCULLY Let me have a look. (beat) Consistent with ophthalmitis. It's the eyes' normal reaction to severe inflam- mation. LANGLY There ain't nothin' normal about any of this. SCULLY Been there, thought that. It's all re- lated to your overall condition. The children are not far behind your stage. LANGLY (petulantly) Which is? CLOSE ON KRYCEK (soundlessly) Your funeral, geek. If you think it's bad now, just wait. . . SCULLY We should know something soon from the blood samples taken. LISLITA I gave him a little water, Dana. Was that okay? She nods. SCULLY Fine. He shouldn't get dehydrated. LISLITA Where's Fox? Scully looks off in the direction of the other examination room. SCULLY Still speaking with the ship's doctor. LANGLY (shakily) Scully? You think I'm, I'm go-gonna die? Krycek nods with an evil grin. Scully makes use of the stethoscope hanging about her neck, while she listens to his heart. SCULLY Let's not lose our heads. You, Jessica, and her brother, Robin, the Dunns, as well as a sixteen-year old named Kellog Westin, who has subsequently presented, all seem to have the identical condition. A truly baffling one. Dr. Renaldeni thinks it's wiser to keep all of you quarantined, even from each other, until we know better what we're dealing with. He's analyzing the blood samples. Mulder was speaking circles around him before my coming back in here, but he's going to collect some of the pool water. LANGLY Where're the kids? SCULLY The Dunns are in ward one-a, and the teenager, in one-b for the time being. The Infirmary is much larger than I first thought. It encompasses a good part of this entire deck, with private, and semi-private sickrooms. The doctor and I will be monitoring all of you, which conceivably may include whomever else comes down with this. Langly begins clawing at his throat. SCULLY Scratching yourself raw is something you really must avoid. Your risk of infection is high. CLOSE ON KRYCEK (soundlessly) And that's *so* not all. . . PULL BACK The reason Scully is holding a bottle of Calamine lotion becomes apparent within the next few minutes. SCULLY This should allay some of your itchiness. Langly winces several times before she finishes slathering him with the milky pink balm, and once she does, he looks like a living mosaic of the worst color scheme imaginable. LANGLY What's the teenager look like? SCULLY Well, he's about five-ten, jet black hair, pinched looking sort of face. Eyes, your coloring, and set fairly wide apart. He's got a strawberry mole the size of-- LANGLY (nods confirmatorily) A mini palm pilot, on his upper right pect. Skinny, dweeby lookin' dude, wearin' glasses kinda like mine, oval- lensed. Even wore 'em while he was in the pool. SCULLY Good memory. He's somewhat cross-eyed. LANGLY Check. SCULLY There's a definite pattern forming here. (sounds quizzical) Do you remember any others who were wading about the same time you were? Langly, all set to reply, is interrupted. RENALDENI (O.S. urgently, now coming from the dispensary) Dr. Scully, your partner's returned with some of the water. Come see what we have. She prepares to leave them. LANGLY Scully? Can I have a painkiller? SCULLY Are you in a lot of pain? LANGLY Kinda. Yeah. SCULLY I'll see what's available, but do you think you can tough it out until we get more of a handle on this? Taking one could aggravate your symptoms. LANGLY Okay, I'll 'ct' it as best I can, but see what you and Dr. E. can do about gettin' to the root cause, and licking this budding epidemic. Scully departs for the dispensary, but not before handing off the Calamine lotion to her upset-looking cousin. LANGLY (a mild whine) Lis, more Calamine? My legs are itchin' me alive. I'm goin' nuts. LISLITA (she hefts the nearly-empty bottle, then places it on the nightstand) There isn't much left. I'll get more. LANGLY I'd appreciate it. Before leaving on her quest, she kisses the crown of his head which is beginning to scab. LISLITA (breathes into his scalp) I'll be right back, 'chulo.' LANGLY And I'll be right here, waitin'. WIDE CAMERA ANGLE Krycek mocks the 'sweetness and light' banter between them by making a face. LISLITA I love you. LANGLY I love you too. Krycek cannot stomach any more. He steps out from behind the door to con- front the object of his unwholesome desire. LISLITA (rattled, recognizing the same animalistic quality in Krycek's bearing) Ar-are you here to clean up in here too? Langly's ears prick up, as he battles the desire to scratch the skin of his chest raw. Krycek remains wordless. LISLITA (clearly annoyed) What business do you have here? KRYCEK (huskily, disguising his voice on purpose) Your boyfriend's dying. . . He goes to the door farthest from him, and closes it, so this conversation won't be overhead by the people who are spiritedly discussing the matter at hand, two rooms away. LANGLY What the fuck? He fights with the increasing pain to lift himself up from the bed. KRYCEK (arches) *I* know what's wrong with him. Do you want me to save him for you? LANGLY (rasping) Who are you? What the hell are you talking about? LISLITA Yes, what are you talking about? LANGLY (sounding as though he's bargaining with kizmet) Lisa, who are you talking to? KRYCEK Are you coming, or would you rather stay here, and watch him die a hideous, agonizing death, 'dulcita?' SUBTITLE Sweetie. Lislita's breath catches, and as though she's in a dream, she edges away from Langly and towards Krycek. LISLITA You say you can help him? KRYCEK That all depends on you, and your willingness to cooperate. (he tugs on her arm) C'mon, let's go someplace where we can strike a deal. LANGLY (frantically) *Lis*, what's goin' on? KRYCEK His life's in *your* hands, 'chulita.' SUBTITLE Doll. LISLITA (acquieses with a knowingness) Then, I go with you, mustn't I? KRYCEK 'Bueno, mi reina. Vamos, entonces.' SUBTITLE Good, my queen. Let's go then. LISLITA (to Langly, soothingly) I'll be back with the lotion at once, 'mi amor.' KRYCEK (nips close to her ear) You're nice to me, I'll let him live. It doesn't have to be an ordeal, if you're nice to me. Very nice to me. LANGLY (frantically) Lisa--ANSWER ME--WHAT'S HAPPENING!!? KRYCEK (still close to her ear) Let's go. CAMERA FOLLOWS THEM OUT. WE HEAR A LOUD THUD, AND CAMERA PULLS BACK We see Langly lying face down upon the floor, struggling to crawl his way to the door of the outer office. LANGLY (faintly) Lisa, Lis. . .dammit--where the hell are you? Using his good arm, and some very serpentine movement, he is nearly to the door when Scully and Mulder hurriedly re-enter the ward. SCULLY (reproachful blare) LANGLY! What the hell do you think you're doing? LANGLY (babbling) I gotta save Lisa--gotta save her from the perv. The duo rush to his sides, lift him up from the floor and get him back into bed. MULDER What perv? LANGLY The one who told her she'd better be nice to him, or he'd let me die. My life's in his hands. SCULLY AND MULDER (chorus) *What*! LANGLY (while being settled) You heard me. MULDER How long ago? LANGLY Just happened; coupla minutes. MULDER They're probably not far. LANGLY Find 'em--find 'em quick before the scum hurts her. MULDER I'm on it, buddy, I'm on it. He departs that very instant, but not before throwing Scully a look brimming resolve. SCULLY (softly) It's going to be all right, Langly. Try to calm down. LANGLY (scornfully) Find out anything else about this bummer of an epizootic we unsuspectings've picked up? SCULLY (purses her lips) The commonality is the pool. Fifteen more people have presented with the identical symptoms, all claiming to have taken a swim some time today. Counting yourself, and the three others, that makes-- LANGLY Nineteen. Leave the math to me. . . CUT TO- INT. FORWARD BULKHEAD, AFT, DECK BELOW SEA LEVEL-NIGHT Krycek roughly pushes Lislita along again to keep her moving. She stumbles onward, through the cramped passageway which leads to the secondary containment section of the engine room. LISLITA 'Naco! Muerto de hambre!' SUBTITLE Idiot! You nobody! Krycek chuckles. KRYCEK (carelessly) 'Puedo entenderte perfectamente, chava. Hablo un chorro.' SUBTITLE I understand everything perfectly, doll. I'm fluent. Lislita winces and receives another unsettling shove. KRYCEK Speak any Russian? Lislita fords on, trying her best to forget he's there. KRYCEK 'Nyet?' LISLITA (stonily) What do you want? KRYCEK (flexes the delivery) What do you think? *You*. He halts her with an iron hand upon her shoulder, and reaches into an inner pocket. KRYCEK See this? He extracts an olive-amber colored vial. LISLITA What is it? KRYCEK Salvation for all who've been infected. LISLITA Who are you? Why would you do such a thing to my friend, and other innocent people? Unthinking, she tries making a swipe for the vial, but Krycek's hand engulfs it, and whisks it away. KRYCEK You know what I want. You give it to me, and I might save your blond. LISLITA (responds automatically) *No*. . . KRYCEK (with a merciless smirk) Your final answer, 'chica?' LISLITA (eyes glisten, steeped in tears welling up) I. . .I don't wa-want to. KRYCEK You want to. I've seen you with him. You love him. You give me what I want, I'll save him for you, but if you wait too long, it'll be too late to do anything for him except bury him at sea. Lislita stiffens, and defiantly wipes away the streaks, staining her bedarkened face. KRYCEK (pressing her in against the wall's seam of rivets) I do you, you save him. . .your choice. Lislita nods helplessly, which ignites Krycek's sumptuous grin against her cheek. KRYCEK Smart girl. Lislita shuts her eyes, as though about to pass out then and there. KRYCEK (close to her mouth) Don't look like it's the end of the world, 'bonita.' It's not, at least not tonight it's not. Soon, but not tonight. . . CUT TO- INT. THE INFIRMARY -NIGHT SCULLY You say this man said he could cure you? LANGLY That's what I heard--*if* Lisa does what he wants. Mulder better find 'em fast. (beat) It's funny, since my sight's gone down- hill, my hearing seems sharper. SCULLY If what you heard is true, then I hope Mulder can somehow convince him to hand it over. We don't know where to begin to help you and the other victims recover from this mysterious condition. LANGLY I hope Mulder beats the bastard to a pulp if he lays a hand on her. This stinks of Syndicate to me, Scully. SCULLY But, how? LANGLY How? After all you've seen, how can you even ask, 'how?' The freakin' shadow government never takes a vacation. They picked this ship to run their shitty experiment. (grumbles) Me, blind as a frickin' bat, and now Lisa's mixed up in this too. SCULLY Don't jump to any conclusive conclusions until there's real evidence. Langly balks, but says nothing more until... RENALDENI (appears at the ward door) Keeping our victims quarantined from each other isn't an option, I'm afraid. My other wards are full. All in all, there are twenty-six people infected. One victim, a man in his late thirties, looks the worst of those I've seen, so far. I took a sample of his blood and wasted no time analyzing it. I saw, what looks to me like some form of Planaria, Dr. Scully. Comparable to what the water sample from the pool yielded. Please, come have a look. My two nursing assistants are doing their best trying to make our patients comfortable. LANGLY (pointedly to Scully) The shadow government strikes again. I don't care what you refuse to believe. They're experimenting with something new. Unsuspecting folks out soaking up some rays, and a hell of a lot more. END IV FADE OUT THEME BREAK FADE IN INT. MAIN ENGINE ROOM-NIGHT Krycek, with Lislita painfully in tow, have reached the area of the engine room where there is a lack of personnel since the precisely- mechanized operations are governed by control systems three decks above. The air is close, it's dim, and a dank odor permeates everywhere, but the noise level is remarkably minimal; an almost dulcent humming blankets the surroundings. Abruptly, Krycek stops between the towering pitch stabilizer housing, and a small anteroom used for storing hoses. KRYCEK (holds her chin like a vise) The moment you've been waiting for. . . and I. LISLITA (defiantly, as she gathers her falling-apart costume about her) 'Bicho.' SUBTITLE Disgusting creep. KRYCEK I can be that too, if that's what turns you on. LISLITA 'Vaya al infierno!' SUBTITLE Go to hell. KRYCEK (gives a derisive laugh) We'll make that trip together. His insuperable fingers release her chin and dig into her shoulder, molding her against the gleamy brass of machine housing. LISLITA (mustering all of her strength) Find someone else to defile! She slaps his face, which startles him for a moment, but before she can flee, he flashes her the vial, and she freezes. KRYCEK (dangerously) Come here. She obeys, he crowds into her face again, and mauls her breasts this time. Before he can capture her plump lower lip with his teeth, she strikes a resounding blow for freedom, calling upon a move her father taught her if ever a date got fresh. Krycek recoils, as the shock of piercing pain explodes between his legs. KRYCEK YOU BITCH! Taking advantage of his world of hurt, Lislita plucks the fallen vial up from the floor of the deck and escapes. TIGHT SHOT OF KRYCEK'S FACE. . .AND THE SHADOW FALLING UPON IT MULDER (O.S.) I figured you'd be down here with the rest of the rats. Camera brings him into the shot with his back away from audience. MULDER Can't seem to stop meeting in places like this. Marita bared her soul one rainy night she came to my apartment about what happened on a filthy steamer. Some impressions never fade, and now this-- with Scully's cousin. Krycek manages to sit up and prop himself up against the second auxillary wall, holding his throbbing crotch. KRYCEK How'd you know? MULDER (testily) Know what? KRYCEK About *this*? My being here. MULDER (close to the vest) Right place, right time; purely coincidence. It's our vacation, but you've made it business, turning up, conducting this experiment for the cowards who exist behind a smokescreen. Mulder grasps him to a stand, hearing Krycek's croaking gasp, and the Agent slams him into the wall. MULDER Before I kick the living crap out of you, I want the antidote. KRYCEK (smugly) Haven't got it. Mulder knees him in the groan again, and Krycek writhes in renewed agony. KRYCEK (gasping) *She's got it; the girl*. Quicker and tougher than I thought. Your knee's got nothing on hers. MULDER What's its composition? KRYCEK Damned if I know. You think I'm told everything? Works though, I'm the first test case. Krycek leans in tight to Mulder's face, his intent clear, gleaming in his eyes. In disgust, Mulder heaves Krycek's leaden body back down to the deck, and he stalks away. CAMERA FOLLOWS MULDER KRYCEK (O.S., sardonically) Ironic, isn't it, Mulder? The Agent doesn't slacken his pace as he nears the squat first bulkhead access, but we can still hear Krycek's raspy voice echo. KRYCEK (O.S.) The harder you try, the more you fall behind. So much easier if you joined, and be a winner for once. Mulder. . . they won't let you keep this up forever. Mulder raises his right arm high above his head with middle finger fully extended, and pointed in the direction of Krycek's faraway voice. CUT TO-INFIRMARY-WARD A Lislita arrives, heavily out of breath, clutching the little vial in her tight fist. LISLITA (sounding winded) I have it, 'Richillo'--I took what will make you. . .well. Langly appears unconscious. Just then Scully, who's been consulting again with Dr. Renaldeni, returns to the ward. Lislita, upon hearing her enter, turns to her with a look of relief. LISLITA Dana, here's the cure. (perplexedly) But, should he drink it, or smear what- ever's in this all over himself? 'Dios mio,' his rash looks very, very bad. Scully nods. SCULLY Where's Mulder? Did you see him? LISLITA No. I got away from that disgusting man, but not before I took this from him. She hands the vial to her cousin with a hopeful expression. LISLITA He said it can cure whatever this sick- ness is. SCULLY (contemplatively) Yes, I know, but I don't think it's a good idea taking that madman's word for it without an analysis. He could be lying. Mulder barrels into the ward, a mingling of relief and agitation stitched in his face. MULDER It was Krycek-- SCULLY You can't be serious. Krycek--here!! Mulder nods, looking as desperate as his stunned partner. MULDER Freak coincidence. I wouldn't bet he's lying. LANGLY (coming out of his drowsiness) Wha'. . .t-the hell? His impaired eyes saucer, and he snaps to alertness, indistinctly seeing that his sweetheart has returned, safe and sound, and from foggy indications, appears unscathed, although, her clothes that hang in shreds might suggest otherwise. LANGLY *Lisa*--how'd you. . .? LISLITA (breathlessly) I got away-- I took what he said will save you, 'mi amor.' (anxiously to Scully) You must save him. Please, Danita, you must. Looking sympathetic, Scully looks from her cousin to her partner, and in turn, Mulder gently rests his hand upon her shoulder. MULDER Analyze it first, Scully, so we know its makeup. SCULLY Good idea. And. . .wasting no time, Scully heads for Renaldeni's office. Regardless of how bad Langly's rash is, that fact doesn't impede Lislita from sitting beside him on the bed, and stroking his hand, while Mulder looks on in silence until. . . Scully, in what feels to be instantan- eously, returns, with Renaldeni tena- ciously on her heels. SCULLY You're never going to believe this, Mulder. MULDER Knowing me all these years, Scully, how can you say that? She gives him an 'I was a fool' roll of her expressive eyes. SCULLY This stuff checks out to be simple quinine water. LANGLY (barely audible) Quinine's the alkaloid isolated from South American cinchona bark, used to treat malaria. . .what the Syns gave us might be some wack, mutated form of the disease. *They* never run out of ideas for creating some mass crisis diversion, huh? RENALDENI That could explain the Planaria. . .as perhaps the microscopic agents used as the infection vehicle for this particular P. Falciparum, quotidian, or irregular type of the disease. SCULLY Insidiously effective. RENALDENI I quite agree, Dr. Scully. MULDER Scully, there're over forty people who've been contaminated. How much's left? He eyes the minute receptacle. Before the full import of Mulder's words have time to elicit a response from Scully, Renaldeni casts hope-filled eyes at the Agents. RENALDENI We're in luck, with that. Our libational stores are well-stocked with the mixer. I'll put a call into the head Stores Steward, and the Captain. Explain the situation, and have enough on hand to clear all these cases up in short order. SCULLY Doctor we'd better get moving on this. RENALDENI I'll put those calls in immediately. Scully casts angst-filled eyes at her partner. MULDER I know, Scully. SCULLY He can't get away with what he tried to do. MULDER I'm on it. (edges over to the doctor, preparing to leave with him) Doctor, once you've handled the matters at hand, (he levels his arm about the man's shoulders) there's another matter I'd like to take up with the Captain. PAUSE HOURS LATER- INFIRMARY-WARD A SCULLY (uncapping another bottle of quinine and pours it into a liter sized plastic cup. Hands it to the patient who has recovered full use of both upper limbs) Drink half of this. (rips open another package of Bunsolve gauze) The rest I'll salve on your chest, back, arms and legs. LANGLY (sounding self-conscious) Uh...can't I get into the pool with the rest of the victims? SCULLY That's only if you can stand, and walk under your own power. Can you? LANGLY Well, I've drunk enough quinine till it's comin' outta my ears to give it another try. SCULLY It's been over an hour since you did. LANGLY I'll try again. SCULLY Fine. Go ahead. LANGLY Gimme a sec. The effort shows in his face, and gritting his teeth, he shifts his body along the edge of the bed, and forces his legs to the floor. Lislita hesitates before coming into the room, having since changed into straight leg pants and a matching creamy orange top. She wastes not another moment, rushing over to his bedside, wanting to lend a hand. LISLITA Should you be doing this so soon? LANGLY Now's as good a time as any. I'm feelin' a whole lot better. SCULLY You're looking much better too. LANGLY (looks up from his quivering limbs with his glasses sliding down his nose an inch.) Seeing lots better too. Where's Mulder? SCULLY Conducting a stem to stern search of the ship for Krycek, enlisting the help of Security. He's beside himself for letting his anger get the best of him and leaving him in the engine room. LANGLY (shrugs) So, what does he plan to do with him when he gets his hands on him? Make him walk the plank? That rat'll never fink-out his shadow handlers. SCULLY That excuse for a man has hurt Mulder's and my families in so many ways. I'd just like to have him standing here right before me so I can tell him what a maglinant bastard he is, to his face. LISLITA (her voice slips from her like air from a balloon) How is it all of you know my kidnapper? Agent and hacker exchange guarded looks. Scully is about to reply, when a rambunctious Mulder bursts into the room. MULDER Splashiest pool party you ever saw. I wouldn't label them victims anymore. (resigned) Well, Scully, seems the rodent must have jumped ship, no thanks to my losing it. He's nowhere on board. The search detail organized and headed by the Captain is still combing, but he won't be found. I discovered his clothes in a heap next to the main bilge water tank that you and I saw earlier yesterday. Our guide of yesterday morning told me that there's an in-laid ladder on the reverse side of the tank, and it's the easiest access into the ocean, compared to say, plummeting from topside. In a cubbyhole of a storage room, or a small tool crib of sorts, I found casings that could have come off a scuba tank. Discarded packaging for a deep-sea mask, wetsuit, hand and feet fins, along with breathing equipment were nearby. SCULLY Obviously carefully planned in case of discovery. LANGLY (brashly) Yeah, big fat surprise. Given time and opportunity, *they* avail themselves every chance *they* get. Gotta make sure whatever they decide to unleash on an unsuspecting world works foolproof, eh, Mulder? MULDER (curls his lips) Can't say they'll fail for lack of trying... LISLITA Why do I have this uneasy feeling you three know too much about...about. (throws her hands up) Okay, how should I know, what, for my own good? Being blacked-out, well, it's just not fair. That's what it is. The suspect trio coast upon the heavy, loaded silence. LISLITA (again, sighs heavily) Just be glad I'm not the biggest stickler that needs all kinds of details supplied before knowing when to feel safe. (removes the gauze and dark green-tinted bottle of quinine from Scully's hands) 'Mi amor,' wouldn't you rather have me rub this all over you, instead of having it splashed in your face by fellow recoverees? (snickers in her throat, and gives her cousin and Langly especially a contrite look) I know, I shouldn't eavesdrop, but it's hard to overcome when you live and work in tight quarters, like this ship. Scully and Mulder, with his hand anchored to her shoulder, begin edging themselves nearer to the door, where Dr. Renaldeni seems to be waiting to speak with them. LANGLY Well, when you put it like that, I'd be crazy, turning an offer like that down. You still gonna stay with me all night? LISLITA Do I look like I'm going anywhere soon? Scully raises an eyebrow to answer Mulder's rowdy waggling of both of his, and she has no other choice but to counteract his cocky smile with a more tempering one of her own. MULDER (mumbles into Scully's ear) Let the kids have their fun. SCULLY Try getting some rest, Langly. You've had a busy day. LANGLY (off-handedly) Oh, yeah, sure. Rest. RENALDENI (in an aside to Scully) One seeming epidemic stopped dead in its tracks. All who presented are back to normal, without any discernable side effects. I have several questions though. Doctor, humor me? Scully nods. SCULLY If I can, Doctor. The Agents depart with Renaldeni. Lislita disposes of the gauze, but Langly finagels the bottle of quinine out of her hand to sip its dregs, then chucks it into the nearby clear plastic-lined trash can. LANGLY Well? You haven't changed your mind, in the space of two seconds? LISLITA Just as long as you don't hog all the blanket... They grin into each other's face as Langly makes room for her in the atypically wide hospital bed. LANGLY Not exactly the kind of bed I had in mind for...well, you know... LISLITA Yeah, but how many beds can do this? She raises the bed's 'head' up and down, then its 'feet' with the controls that are wound around the side's rail which happens to be down. LANGLY Craftmatics can. LISLITA They're expensive. LANGLY So are these. He pats the mattress. LANGLY (mocking mildly) Speakin' of hoggin', the blanket ain't all I'm gonna hog. Those arms of yours've got a nice feel when they're wrapped around me. LISLITA (as she fits her 'accomodaters' about him snugly) I'm just so glad you're going to be all right. LANGLY That makes two of us. LISLITA How is it you, someone so gentle, and good, know that evil man, 'chulito?' LANGLY (hestitates awhile before answering) It's a long, insane story. LISLITA (hugging him harder, waiting for him to slip his head into the soft, warm crevasse of her neck) We've got all night... LANGLY And I'm hopin' for even longer. LISLITA I want that too... The leisurely-paced, long-lived kiss they share tranquilizes them both after Langly extinguishes the light on the nightstand. CUT TO- EXT - MANY NAUTICAL MILES BEHIND THE CRUISE VESSEL CLOSE ON It is two-thirty A.M. Krycek has since surfaced. He removes his mask which is densely fogged, to clear it. The long-range transceiver he holds in his hand is emitting sharp pops, two ever four seconds. The lengthy beams of the blazing cam lights mounted at both corners of the mask slice through the intense darkness enveloping him. He waits. A shiver he ignores goes through him, and he swims a body length, before halting. The transceiver's pops step up, and he checks the time on his florescent diving watch. When he looks up, his vision transects the swiftly retreating ship. Another second to go...and then the sub breaks above the pitching, frothy surface of the open sea to retrieve the deserter, the sole possessor of an oily smile in these watery parts. END V FADE OUT COMMERCIAL BREAK "I made this..." THEME ROLL FINAL CREDITS