Title: If It's the Last Thing I Do
Author: Estrellita, aka Erin Kaye Hashet
Rating: PG
Category: S, A, R, CD
Keywords: MSR, DAL, MAJOR MAJOR ANGST if you receive my meaning.
Archive: Wherever, just let me know
Feedback: EKHashet@hotmail.com
Spoilers: Through Scary Monsters, the last S9 episode to air before I wrote this. (The story has nothing to do w/Scary Monsters, though, just make sure you know the basic premise of S9.)
Summary: When Scully hears a noise in the night, she's very surprised by who she finds.
Disclaimer: Not mine, sure as heck wish they were.
Author's Notes: Okay, I don't want to give anything away, but you should know that there is some HEAVY angst in this story. Don't say I didn't warn you.

*****

If It's the Last Thing I Do
by Estrellita, aka Erin Kaye Hashet

Scully wasn't quite asleep yet, but she was close to it. It was easier to close her eyes than it was to open them. The clock read 11:21 as she rolled over onto her side, slowly losing consciousness.

Suddenly, her eyes flew wide open. Her heart began racing, and a chill swept over her body. She'd heard a noise by William's cradle.

*Oh, no,* she thought franticly to herself. *I thought this was over.*

She grabbed her gun and walked toward the cradle, pointing the gun authoritatively at the figure standing there with William in its arms. Its back was towards her, and the back of its head was covered by a blue hood. Judging by its height, it was a man.

"Stop right there," she said, not loudly, but firmly. "You put my son down and turn around with your hands where I can see them."

The figure paused. It slowly put William back down in the cradle, put its arms in the air, and turned to face her. But as it did it said, in a voice Scully would know anywhere, "Nobody here but the F.B.I.'s most unwanted."

Scully gasped. She put her gun down. "Mulder?" she whispered, barely believing it could be true. The figure removed its hood, revealing the face Scully hadn't seen in months.

"Mulder!" Without another word she ran to him, flinging herself into his arms. His arms closed around her, and his hands drigted up to her fiery red hair. She looked up into his face and their heads moved closer to each other. They kissed-slowly, tenderly.

Scully broke away from him gently, her loving eyes drinking him in. "Oh, Mulder," she murmured.

Mulder's hand brushed her cheek. "Scully," he whispered. He drew his head in close to her and kissed her forehead. Then he looked deep into her eyes. "I love you, Scully," he said softly. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she said, hugging him again. Her eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Mulder, I've missed you so much!"

"I missed you, too," he said, releasing her.

Scully still couldn't believe it. It was Mulder, and he didn't look a bit different. He had the same beautiful smile, the same hazel puppy-dog eyes, the same shock of light brown hair. Aside from being a little less than clean-shaven, he was perfect.

"William," Mulder breathed suddenly. "Could you turn on the light, Scully? I want to see my little boy."

Scully quickly turned on the light. Mulder walked over to the cradle and picked up his son. "Oh, my," he murmured, tears in his voice. "My God, Scully, he's so beautiful. . .he lookes just like you!"

"I see a lot of you in him, too," Scully said softly.

"He's almost a year old," Mulder said as if dazed. "Does he talk?"

"He says 'mama, dada.'"

"Dada?"

"I show him pictures of you," she said. "All the time."

Mulder held his son close to him, and kissed his forehead. "I love you, little guy," he whispered.

"Dada," William said clearly.

*****

Four hours later, William was asleep again, but Mulder and Scully were at Scully's kitchen table. They hadn't stopped talking since they'd sat there. Scully had told him all about William and the X-Files. Mulder had told her all about his life for the past four months. He'd been working behind the counter in a convenience store in Pennsylvania. Just last week, he'd received word that it was safe to come home, and that night, along with a man acting as his bodyguard, he boarded a train home, hoping to surprise Scully and William.

"Wasn't it dangerous?" Scully asked incredulously.

"There was a man sitting across from me who was looking at me funny," said Mulder. "I kept looking at him. . . I was afraid he might have a gun." He smiled. "But I said to myself, 'I'm going to get to my family and tell them I love them if it's the last thing I do.'"

*My family.* Scully's bottom lip quivered. "Oh, Mulder," she whispered, moved beyond words.

Mulder reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. "Well, I guess the second-to-last thing I do," he said. "This is the last." He opened the box, revealing a shiny ring.

A surprised sound escaped Scully's lips. For a moment she could not speak. "Oh, my God," she whispered finally. With trembling hands, she picked up the box. "I-is it. . .is it. . .?"

"Real?" supplied Mulder with a smile. "No." He took the box from her and slipped the ring onto her finger. "I couldn't afford a real one. Until I can, do you think that this will do?"

The attempt at a laugh that escaped Scully's quivering lips, along with her joyously teary eyes, answered the question for him.

"We've been married for nine years already," Mulder said softly. "Think it's about time we made it official?"

Still unable to speak, Scully drew his head toward her and kissed him. When they broke away, she was smiling through her tears. "I love you, Mulder," she said sincerely. She looked at the little piece of glass that adorned her finger and smiled.

"Does this mean that I can have my shirt back?" Mulder asked.

Scully laughed, thinking of the shirt he'd let her have before he left. "Yes, yes," she said. "I'll go get it."

"Why did you want it, anyway?" Mulder asked her as she walked toward her bedroom.

"Sometimes when I missed you," she said over her shoulder, "I took it and slept with it."

Mulder gave a little laugh. "I love you, Scully," he called to her. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she called back. She got the shirt out of her dresser drawer and started back toward the kitchen. "I guess now you can. . ."

She stopped short. There was no one at the kitchen table.

"Mulder?" she called, confused. "Mulder?" There was no answer.

Frowning, she went around her apartment looking for him. "Mulder?" She opened the bathroom door. "Mulder?"

She felt herself starting to panic. "Mulder?" She opened her apartment 
door and peered down the hallway. He was nowhere to be found.

Crushed and confused, Scully stumbled to the kitchen table. The little jewelry box that had held her ring was gone. *Did I dream?* she wondered. *I must have. It was all just a dream. Of course,* she thought bitterly. *He couldn't have come home. That would be too good to be true.*

But then she paused. The ring was still there on her finger. Sparkling.

She sat at the table in confusion until she fell asleep. Only the ringing of the phone awakened her.

*Mulder!* she thought wildly. She immediately dashed for the phone and snatched it up. "Hello?" she said franticly. "Mulder?"

"Is this Ms. Dana Scully?" said an unfamiliar voice.

Scully paused. "Yes. . ." she said cautiously.

"What relationship have you to Fox Mulder?"

"I'm his, um. . .ah. . ." "Wife" wasn't right. If he truly hadn't been there, she wasn't his fiancé, either. "Partner"- not anymore. "Friend"- they were more than that.

"Um. . .his girlfriend. Who's this?" Her voice became sharp and questioning.

"I was informed by a man traveling with Mr. Mulder that you were to be contacted in case of emergency."

"Emergency?" Fear began to grow inside her. "What emergency? What's happened to him? WHERE'S MULDER?"

"He was traveling to Washington on a train last night when another man shot him."

Scully felt the blood drain from her face. "What?"

"At eleven twenty-one this evening he slipped into cardiac arrest."

*Eleven twenty-one?*

"He was declared brain dead at three-thirty this morning. I'm sorry, Ms. Scully."

*****

Scully felt a horrible sense of deja vu as she saw the coffin lowered into the ground, where Mulder would join the rest of his family.

She began to sob, and Skinner put his arm around her. "I'm so sorry, Dana," he said.

Scully looked at her finger. The ring still sparkled there, a permanent reminder of what could have been.

Tears continued to fall from her eyes as the service continued. In her mind she heard Mulder's words as if he had just spoken them. "I'm going to get to my family and tell them I love them if it's the last thing I do."

Her heart swelled, and she loved him fiercely and completely, feeling inside of her the power of the love that had brought him to her to carry out his final wish.

The End

I can't believe it- I never thought I could ever write a character death story. I didn't think I could be this cruel! But I can't help the ideas I get. Feedback will be greatly appreciated.