Dream Daze
                        
                 By Jolee Patkai
                         


Rated PG
Plot - Doggett is plagued by dreams that haunt him even when he is
awake
Characters - mostly Doggett, Scully, and Reyes
Disclaimer - all characters property of 1013 and storyline is entirely
fiction and created by Jolee Patkai.

..................

     Special Agent John Doggett, started his morning like every other. 
Sad.....  Going through the motions was just his way of coping with the
loss of a part of his life he couldn't live without...his son...Luke.  He didn't
think the pain, the knot of sickness would ever go away.  Now, working on
this case..this searching for Mulder...was just making it worse.  Making the
hours in the day stretch, making minutes last longer than the hours...and so
on.

     Just when he thinks it can't possibly get any worse..he pictures her
face..full of longing and fear and despair, the longer time went on, without
word.  Agent Scully would soon break..he was sure of that..God knows..he
knew the signs well enough.  He had looked like that, too.  At the time, he
thought that knowing what happened to his son, would be better than not
knowing..but..he had been wrong.  Knowing was definitely worse...when
your son is dead..never to return, even in your daydreams.  Now, he only
returned in Doggett's nightmares...his face bloated and bruised, and his
body battered.

     Pouring his coffee down the drain, Doggett headed to the shower,
hoping to wash the nightmare away..far away, never to surface again.  But
dismally, he knew this was only another fantasy, for when he walked into
that office, and looked upon Scully's troubled, pale face, the nightmare
would return in full-force.

New Orleans, 1999 - 

     The ringing of a phone echoed around the big house.  Bouncing off
     the walls, until it sounded like church bells ringing to announce the
     beginning of a funeral.  And, indeed, the caller was the bearer of
     terrible, heartbreaking news.  Maybe that was why  John Doggett
     was afraid to answer the phone and put a stop to the terrible sound. 
     Woken suddenly out of a fitful sleep, he just stared at the phone like
     it was something from another world, dropped onto his bedside
     table from a ship from a distant universe.  

     Swallowing hard, mouth suddenly gone dry, Special Agent John
Doggett reached for the 
     handset and carried it to his ear.  "John Doggett!", he answered in a
voice not 
     recognizable as his own.

                              - 2 -

     "John?" questioned a familiar voice, "Is that you?"

     "Yes, Monica....I mean Agent Reyes.  I just woke up...what's go'in
on?"

     There was a pause on the other end, and Doggett could hear the
sharp intake of her 
     breath.  "Agent Reyes....I asked what's up?"

     "John...I want you to get ready.  I'm coming by in about twenty
minutes.  Don't worry
     about breakfast, I'll pick up some on the way...just, please, be ready
for me!" Reyes
     asked, in a slightly shaky voice.

     "Monica..for Christ's sake, what's wrong?  Why won't you tell me
now?  Is this to do 
     with Luke?"  He demanded.

     "I'll be by in twenty minutes, and we can discuss it then..please,
John, don't ask me to
     talk about it like this.  I want to see you first..please?"  

     "I'll be ready, Agent Reyes" he barked, and slammed the phone on
it's cradle...and then in 
     a fit of anger and grief, he threw the phone across the room and
into the opposite wall..
     Forever killing it's ability to ring again.

     Rubbing his hands over his face..he knew that call meant only one
thing.  Agent Reyes and
     and he had become intimate during the past months working on the
case, trying to find
     Luke.  At first he had felt guilty..taking comfort and pleasure from
this incredible woman,
     but he had been helpless to fight the attraction that had grown
between them.  Agent 
     Reyes, although aware of the discipline that involvement with a
fellow FBI agent could
     warrant, had thought the risk one worth taking.  As had he. 
Drowning in  fear for his 
     son, had left him walking on the edge of insanity...and Monica -
Agent Reyes - had pulled
     him back from the brink.  However, he knew this call had nothing
to do with comfort..
     rather, it had to do with closure.  Closure on his son's
disappearance.  Dread filled his
     stomach, making sickness swirl inside him.  Lurching to his feet, he
raced to the bathroom,
     where he purged the sickness from his body.  Turning on the
shower, he stood under it for
     fifteen long minutes, until the ringing of the door announced
Reyes's arrival.

     Agent Reyes looked flustered when he answered the door wrapped
in a towel.  Her eyes 
     couldn't help their hungry journey up and down his body.  Hugging
the breakfast bag in
     her arms, she finally met his eyes with her's, and the look she
intercepted knocked the 
     breath out of her body.

     Reaching for her arm, Doggett drew her into the house and closed
the door.  Grabbing the
     bag from her hands, he pulled her into his arms, needing to feel her
close to him, like a 
     ship needed it's anchor.  He could feel his sanity slipping away -
knowing why she was 
     here, but not wanting to face it...not just yet.  When she started to
protest..he silenced her
                              - 3 -

     with his mouth..demanding surrender, needing the comfort only she
could give him.  
     How could she refuse this man..this man she had come to love with
all her mind and
     soul.  Allowing him to carry her upstairs, she returned his passion
and for just a while
     they shut the world and all it's sorrows in that place in their minds
where hurts were 
     locked away.

     "John..we have to talk...we have to go..Christ, I don't know how to
tell you...it's so 
     damned hard!"  Taking his chin in her hand, she turned his face to
hers, and whispering,
     told him the words, he never ever wanted to hear from anybody. 
Words, that started his
     world crumbling down around him.  "John...I'm so sorry...I don't
know what else to say
     or do other than to....!" A sob broke from her, as she saw the
devastation on his face, and
     wrapping her arms around him, she rocked back and forth, like one
would do with a 
     frightened child, murmuring broken words of condolence to him. 
"We have to go..John..
     do you hear me??  We have to go to the crime scene, right now.  I
     wish I could spare you
     this...but I really need you to come with me now.  John..we need
you to identify Luke..
     I'll be there with you, John.   I won't let you go alone!"

     After that, time seemed to speed up.  John Doggett went through
the next few days in
     a daze of sorts.  Agent Reyes, never leaving his side, was there to
help him with decisions
     no parent should ever have to make -   calling family members,
selecting a casket, making
     funeral arrangements, and finally, going through Luke's stuff.  It
was all so damned hard
     to take in.  His son, his only child, dead..at the hands of some god
damned pervert.  After
     months of searching and investigating, the serial killer had
confessed to murders of five
     young boys in the New Orleans area, and with information given
from this man, the bodies
     were recovered.  Knowing that this man would die for his deeds,
did little to comfort the
     families of the victims..and John Doggett was no different. 
Working on missing children
     cases was what he did, but after this one, he swore he would never
do it again.  He didn't
     think he could ever give his all to this line of work again, always
fearful of seeing Luke
     in each child's face as they were found.  After the funeral, John
Doggett, requested 
     reassignment and had been transferred to Washington.  It had been
a relief to sell off the 
     house, and leave the city that had turned his world upside down. 
His only regret in
     leaving New Orleans, was leaving Monica.  But she had understood
his reasons for 
     requesting reassignment, and had let him go with the promise that
she would
     never forget him.

....................

Washington, 2001

     Without pausing to knock, Doggett entered the X-File office in the
basement of the FBI headquarters.  Heading straight to his desk, to deposit
the box he was carrying, Doggett failed to see Agent Scully slumped on her
desk.  It was a small moan that got his attention, and turning around, an
exclamation escaped his lips, as he spotted her.

     Hurrying around the desk, he leaned down for a closer look, to see
if she was hurt.  Her hair hid her face like a flaming curtain, and he couldn't
see if she was conscious or unconscious.  Fear coursed through his body,
and placing his hand on the nape of her neck, was relieved to feel a strong
pulse.

     The touch of his hand on her skin, jerked Scully out of another
nightmare, and she cried out and out of instinct, reached for her gun.  

     "Easy there, Agent Scully!  It's just me, Agent Doggett.  You were
moaning, and I thought you were hurt...Christ...you scared the hell outta
me!"

     Scully just stared at him, her eyes still glazed from the nightmare,
and her body shaking from the pictures still in her head.  Dropping her gun,
she covered her face with trembling hands, and tried to pull herself
together.

     "Agent Scully.  You alright?"  When no answer was forthcoming,
he walked to the water cooler and returned with a  cup of cool water. 
"Here..drink this...Don't take this the wrong way, Agent Scully, but you
look like you've seen a ghost."  Taking her hand, he pressed the cup into
her grasp, and helped her to drink.

     With her hand she smoothed back errant strands of hair from her
face.  "Thank you, Agent Doggett.  I must have had a bad dream...must be
catching!  I remember waking you up from one not so long ago...well, on a
scale of one to ten, this one was a 9.  It was so real, but I can hardly
remember it now.  It was so real when I first woke, but now it's fading. 
Thank God for small miracles!  I'm better now, Agent, you can stop
hovering...really, I'm fine!"

     Returning to his own desk, Doggett couldn't help but notice that
she still seemed very flustered.  "Can you tell me what you remember about
the dream, Agent Scully.  Maybe I can help sort out what it meant.  You
obviously are very upset about something."

     "Oh, I don't know...it is all pretty confusing, and like a lot of
dreams, the people and places are unknown to me.  Sorry you had to have
a gun pulled on you so early in the day, Agent, but, I'm ashamed to say, I
have been here all night, hence the bad hair happening here."  Nervously,
she tried again to smooth her hair, but because of her dream, she had
broken out in a sweat, and her hair refused to behave, and had turned into a
mass of curls.  "I hate these curls, one of the many battles I'll never win."

     "Oh, I don't know..I kind of like the look, Agent Scully.  It suits
you."  he said in a low voice, pinning her with his intense gaze.  "Anyways,
I like it..so don't sweat about it.  So, what were you doing here all night? 
That's not too healthy for you right now, Agent Scully.  What was so
important that you couldn't drop it and head home?"

     Dropping her gaze, Scully stared at the nameplate in front of her. 
Fox Mulder - the name just tore through her like a bullet, leaving nothing
but pain in it's wake.  "I was just going over Mulder's case file.  Trying to
find the needle in the haystack, but of course, finding nothing.  It's so
frustrating...I don't know where else to look or what else to do, Agent
Doggett.  He has literally disappeared without a trace.  It's strange that I
use that expression."

     "Why is it strange?  To all intents and purposes, he has!  I'll be the
first to admit it, that I'm at a loss with Agent Mulder's disappearance. 
Unless something turns up, there is really nothing more we can do...and
I'm sorry for that, Agent Scully.  I know how much you want and need to
locate him."

     "To answer your question, Agent Doggett, someone once told me
that "Nothing disappears without a trace" and at the time I believed him. 
But frankly, with Agent Mulder, I have to rethink everything, everything I
believe in and everything I have ever said with regards to the paranormal. 
If only I had been more open to his beliefs, maybe he would still be here,
sitting at this desk, and ordering me around."  Shaking her head to rid
herself of an image she suddenly had of Mulder bruised and battered, she
dropped his nameplate and pushed away from his desk.  "Excuse me,
Agent Doggett, I need to get out of here for a while."

     "Hey, wait a minute...if you've been here all night, you can't have
had breakfast yet!  And no way am I gonna let you faint from hunger.  Get
your jacket, and I'll treat you to a big breakfast, and I'm not talking toast,
either."

     "I am kind of hungry, I didn't eat supper last night.  I know that's
unhealthy, Agent Doggett, so you don't have to lecture me about it. 
So..where are we going?"

9:00 am - Local Waffle House  

     Groaning from all the food she had consumed, Agent Scully settled
back into her seat and sipped her coffee.  Sitting here with Doggett,
reminded her of Mulder.  They had often shared meals together, on the
road, and in their homes...she missed that.

     "Now there you go again, getting that look, Agent Scully.  Want to
talk about it?"

     "Nothing to talk about, Agent Doggett.  Thanks for breakfast..I'm
feeling much better.  I do remember one thing about my dream.  I guess I
work better on a full stomach."

     "I'm listening..." he said, leaning forward to catch her words.  Her
voice was very low and soft.

     Clearing her throat, she could feel her stomach knotting as memory
of the dream began to surface.  "Well, like most of my dreams, lately,
Agent Mulder was there, but only vaguely this time.  I seemed to be in a
very dark room..no windows..hardly any air..very hot.  I'm trying to get
out, but my limbs are like lead, encased in cement, almost.  And I'm not
really myself..it's almost like I'm another person...invading another
body....I can't explain it...it sounds crazy, huh?"

     "Naw, just scarey, like most nightmares." He waited for her to
continue.


     "I hear a voice calling to me, and I'm trying to answer..but it's like
my throat has frozen over.  The more I try to answer and tighter my throat
gets..until I can't breathe."  Scully shudder's as the dream becomes clearer. 
"God, I cannot believe these nightmares...I can't remember the last time I
slept for more than a few hours without one.  Normally, I wouldn't hesitate
to take something to help, but I can't, now."

     "Well, I never liked taking that stuff, anyways, Agent Scully. 
Whether or not your pregnant, they're not good for you.  Trust me...I
know."  He shakes his head at the memory.

     "Agent Doggett, when did you have to take sleeping pills?  You
seem to be one of the calmest people I've ever met.  Other than that
nightmare I woke you from, I've never seen you even upset!"

     Doggett looked at Scully and pondered telling her about Luke..but
he didn't know if she could handle that information, especially in her
condition.  Add to that fact, Mulder's disappearance, and he knew she
would relate only too well with what had happened.  And once she knew
about Luke, she might then start to imagine it happening to Mulder.  Better
not add to her problems.

     "It was just one time, during college when I was having a hard time
sleeping...you know stress of studying, stuff like that...well I would get so
damned edgy, I was like a cat on a hot tin roof.  Made my skin crawl,
literally....naw..a few sleepless nights is nothing compared to feeling like
that."
          
     Scully's eyebrow went up at this lame explanation.  Coming from
Doggett, who was so down to earth, it seemed ridiculous.  "Come on
Agent Doggett, that's not when you took sleeping pills, and you know it.  I
can see it in your face, that your making up that story...what I want to
know is ...why?"

     "Like I told someone, one time, Agent Scully, it's best to leave the
past in the past.  Some things are better left unknown, for the greater good,
don't you agree?"

     "Well, that can go both ways, Agent.  I guess I won't tell you the
rest of my dream, because it's in the past.  Actually I was starting to feel
better, just talking about it with you, but I guess that's not an option,
now." she said with an elaborate sigh.  "Well, I'm finished, so we'd better
get back to the office..are you ready, Agent Doggett?"

     Reaching across the table, he captured her hand in his.  It was so
small and delicate, but he knew the strength it possessed.  One of the things
that he admired about this woman, was her strength of will and her ability
to keep her head, even in terrifying situations.  If this dream shook her up,
it must have been bad.  He had drawn her out to talk about it, and now he
had shut the door.  Well, he would just have to open it again.  She needed
to talk, and he was there to listen.

     Startled by his hand on hers, Scully sat back down and looked
     questioningly at Doggett.  "What is it Agent Doggett?  What's
     wrong?"

     "Nothing, that can't be fixed, Agent Scully.  You tell me about your
dream, and I promise I'll tell you about my nightmare.  Give a little, get a
little, Agent Scully. Remember when I said those words to you?  Well, they
still apply, and I think you need to tell someone about this dream, and I'm
here, willing to listen."  

     When she didn't respond, he squeezed her hand and said, "Come on
Agent Scully, tell me about it...you need to."

     Swallowing hard, she signaled the waitress for more tea.  After
fixing it just like she liked, sweet and creamy, she cleared her throat and
took a tentative sip.  The tea seemed to calm her, or at least she liked to
think it did.  "You know, my sister, Melissa, was always getting me to try
her herbal teas...one for sleeping, one for relaxing, one for stimulating
sexu..well, never mind that one.  I never had the taste for all those
flavors...I just like my Earl Grey tea..sweet and creamy.  Poor Melissa
always shook her head at me and my stubborn ways.  We were so
different..but we got along so well...God I miss her."

     "Agent Scully, she sounds like a person I would have enjoyed
knowing.  Reminds me of a woman I knew in New Orleans.  She was into
healing and vibes and the whole bit.  We were totally different, but she
helped me through a tough time, and when we were together, no matter
our differences, we were great.  You know, it's not unlike you and me,
Agent Scully."

     "What are you talking about?  How are we like that?" disbelief
evident in her tone.

     "Well, you know...you being a believer in the paranormal and me
being a "show me the facts" kind of person.  I could never just go by the
seat of my pants like you do, Agent Scully, but that doesn't mean we don't
work well together. That's all I'm saying."

     "Agent Doggett, do you want to hear about my dream or not,
because it's too early in the morning for soul searching, wouldn't you
agree?  Now, like I said, this dream was very strange.  I mean I was myself,
but not myself.  I couldn't speak to let Mulder know I was there, hidden in
that dark place.  But the really strange part of it was, that the name I was
responding to was not my own.  Not really...I mean in the dream it was,
but it wasn't "MY" name."

     "Well, how could it be your name, but not your name.  When you
say it was strange, you weren't kidding!"

     Scully sipped her tea and thought about it.  How could she explain
what she had experienced.  She knew it wasn't real..but it had felt like it
was.  "I know what I felt, Agent Doggett, the floor was cold and damp,
like it was a basement of some sort, and there wasn't any light, anywhere. 
I could barely see my hand in front of my face, but when I did strain for a
glimpse, it wasn't even my own hand..but one much smaller...almost
boyish.  And then there was that voice calling me...calling me Luke.  I
wasn't Dana Scully in that dream, I was someone called Luke.. and I was
trapped and helpless and help was so close, but I couldn't call for help and
the voice was fading and then I knew that I would die in that dark, damp
room.  It was terrible and the fear was so realistic...!"  Scully's voice
choked up just remembering how frightening it was.  "Then you woke me
up, Doggett, and I thought you had rescued me for real.  But I guess that
could be because we have been watching each other's backs on the X-
Files."

     Scully stopped talking when she realized Doggett was not really
listening.  Looking at him, she could see he was frozen in place, like a
painting of some tragic war hero.  He had gone pale, and his fists were
clenched around his coffee cup.  Afraid he might break the cup, she
reached for his hands and eased the cup out of them.

     "Agent Doggett, it was only a dream, as you so correctly put it, and
nothing to worry about.  For God's sake, what's wrong?"

     It was at that very moment, in that very restaurant, that John
     Doggett realized that his dreams were indeed haunting his waking
     hours.  It was at that moment, that he knew
     he would never be able to run from his past.  For even though
Agent Scully didn't know
     it, couldn't possibly ever have guessed it, she had described the
very location his son,
     Luke, had been held captive in.  It was that very spot where they
had found his body, 
     bruised and broken, cold and dead.  Somehow, Luke had
communicated to Scully, 
     through her dreams, that fear of being lost and dying alone.  Maybe
in her subconscious,
     she feared Mulder was in just such a place, and would never return
to her.  Looking at
     her face, and seeing her concern for him, made him realize that he
wouldn't, couldn't keep
     his end of the deal.  He would not tell her about Luke.  If he did,
     she would be haunted, too.  He would never make her live the
     nightmare he was living every 
     single day.  Her time would come soon enough.  

     "Nothing's wrong, Agent Scully.  Just sorry you had to have a
nightmare like that.  Kind of gives me the creeps.  Just be thankful it wasn't
real...just take it for what it was...a Dream Daze."

     "A Dream Daze?"  She repeated softly.  "Dream Daze!"  Reaching
across the table, Scully touched his clenched hand softly.  Their eyes met
and for an instant, she glimpsed a deep sadness mirrored in his deep blue
eyes.  "Are you OK, John?" she whispered, concern evident in her face.

     Surprised at her use of his given name, Doggett could only stare
back at this woman whom he had come to care for so deeply. Instinctively,
he turned his hand and captured hers. "As good as I'll ever be, Dana.... as
good as I'll ever be!", and meant every word of it!


THE END