The Beginning of Sorrows: Epilogue PS 90:10 The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. Ec 11:10 Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity Ec 7:10 Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better. ****************************************** ******** It's been two weeks since the raid and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the vaccine is working. Only Klein and a few others succumbed to it. I miss him still. The disk Skinner brought back contained pages of complicated medical schemes and it was encoded to boot. The Gunmen and their computers went to work frantically trying to decipher it. As luck would have it the language was not in Cherokee as previous disks have been. In the end an accidental feed of outlandish military conspiracies from the Gunmen's hard drive gave us the breakthrough we needed. A peripheral radical, even by the Gunmen's standards, had claimed he stumbled on a kind of alien Rosetta stone. The Gunmen hadn't been able to make anything of it at the time and simply stored it. Thank goodness for their obstinate persistence of the truth. They cracked the code, and then it was up to Larry Jason and me to try and make coherent medical sense of it. While we were deciphering, Monica began to display the first signs of the virus and John became anxious. He wanted to help so badly that I put him in charge of piecing similar sentences together. He kept coming across a term that did not make sense to me at the time: reservoir. In infectious disease terms this is known as the organism that carries the infectious agent as a necessary part of its life cycle. Without the reservoir the infectious agent can't survive. The life cycle is interrupted and the agent dies. In medieval times the plague was not spread by rats, but the fleas on the rats. Without rats, the fleas couldn't spread the infection. "Could Monica be the reservoir?" John asked when I explained the concept to him. A dawning light began to break and I poured through the rest of the transcripts. Monica was indeed the reservoir, as was every other person with a bull's eye lesion. The virus incubated in them and once mature, could then be spread to others. If we could make the reservoirs inactive, then the virus was stopped in its tracks. I also discovered that inoculated reservoirs might help confer immunity to the entire population. Something called 'herd immunity'. This concept had been used with the polio vaccine. This vaccine was a partially live vaccine, and the idea was that if one person was inoculated, they could 'give' the vaccine to others. If I could inoculate Monica and the others, the epidemic I feared might not occur at all. With Larry's help we 'made' a vaccine. We did the best we could, but the purity, concentration, and effectiveness couldn't be tested on the concoction. I'd need a volunteer. I found Monica in the infirmary, taking in air with labored breaths, barely conscious. We all gathered around her: Skinner, the Gunmen, Doggett, and I. I spoke to her gently. "Monica, I have a vaccine, I'd like to use it on youm but you're very sick. It might not work, might even kill you faster. Do you want to take that chance?" Doggett held her hand and she smiled up at him. "Yes." "You're sure?" "Yes," she said never taking her eyes from him. I injected a small amount I thought was correct and we all began the long wait. "She might be too far gone. Maybe I should inoculate one of the other targets." Skinner frowned next to me. "No. Wait and see what happens." So we waited. Monica didn't seem to improve, but she didn't deteriorate either. Her watery breathing could be heard half way across the valley. That night Skinner came and got me. "You need rest." "No, I have to stay with Monica." "John's there. He'll take care of her." I realized then what he was trying to say. I wasn't wanted there. If Monica died, she'd be with John. They needed some time alone to say goodbye if necessary. I let Skinner lead me back to the cabin. We took our place in the back room, and I wrapped myself around him. "Is it wrong to be happy you're safe with me?" I said into his chest. "No. Monica would want you to be happy too. All we can do is wait." I kissed him then with all the desperate passion I could. Somewhere along the line someone had hung a blanket over the door separating the main room from the back room to give us some privacy. Skinner started removing my clothing and I protested quietly. "The Gunmen are in the next room" "I promise I won't make any noise if you won't either. We don't want to wake the kids do we?" True to his word, Skinner bit back the groans I heard rumble in his chest. I was somewhat less successful, emitting a strangled squeak at the end. It was so beautiful, and life affirming, I cried. Skinner tried to soothe me, but I couldn't seem to help it. We had lost so much, and had so much more to lose. In the back of my mind I kept thinking of Krycek and Mulder. ******************************** Skinner said after they'd located the vaccine Krycek had taken off to find Mulder and he'd followed behind. They eventually came to a prison area with dozens of empty cells. No human was there, and if they had been, they were long gone. Krycek wailed in frustration and Skinner had been puzzled at the time, not understanding why was he so upset over not finding Mulder. I told him about Marita and he finally understood Krycek's response. "That was when the third explosion occurred," he said. "The building just collapsed all around us. I don't now what happened to Krycek, but I was buried in debris. I wasn't hurt, but a large beam had me trapped. I called for help, but no on could hear me." I'd been holding him lightly when he told me the story, and I unconsciously clutched him to me. "All I could think about was you; getting back to you. I almost lost all hope." I didn't want him to dwell on the desolation of that time. "What happened?" "There was a delayed explosion. I thought I'd be buried permanently, but it was enough to shift the beam. I dug myself out and came back to you." "You never saw Krycek? Not even a body?" "No. I looked, and called his name, but no one ever answered." I'd felt a poignancy for Krycek then. He had possibly saved us all and was most likely killed for his trouble. A part of me wanted to gloat, but it would have been wasted energy, and ultimately selfish. "I'm so thankful you're back. I love you." "I love you too." ****************************** I woke to sound of radio static. The Gunmen must be trying to raise someone again. They seemed devoted to the idea of finding others. Skinner was gone, and my heart started thumping loudly. I dressed quickly and rushed out. "Hey, you two were pretty noisy in there last night," Frohike said with mock annoyance. I ignored him and went outside to the hospital tent. I saw Skinner and Doggett standing over Monica's bed. My heart was beating so hard, I thought it would burst through my chest. My feet felt rooted to the spot. Monica---- Skinner turned and saw me. He moved aside to let me see her. As I moved closer I was sure it was her lifeless body I would greet. "Hi Dana." Monica was not only alive, but sitting up and cheerful as well. I fell to my knees and started crying, releasing pent up anxiety and pain. Skinner was instantly at my side. He lifted me and held me close. "It's all right. Monica's well. We can proceed with the vaccinations. I kept crying anyway. We were going to be all right. All of us. It was more than I could have hoped for. The vaccinations proceeded as planned, and to my astonishment ,no one else got sick. I wondered if the aliens had been infected and that's why they left. There were still so many questions left. Now that we could survive where would we go? "We could stay here," Monica said. "It's beautiful, and we know the area." There was more debate and the question of whether we'd all stay together came up. "Of course we'll stay together," I said. I couldn't believe anyone of us would want to go now that we'd found each other. But Monica and John wanted time alone. Real time alone. The Gunmen, too, wanted to go foraging for more computer equipment, feeling a restless to move on as they had in the past. The thought of us splitting up made me nauseous, and I went outside. Skinner found me later at the flat rock I'd taken him to before the raid. "Here you are. I thought you'd disappeared for good." I didn't say anything, sadness making me petulant. He sighed heavily and sat next to me. "You can't blame Monica and John for wanting some time alone." "Yes I can." He chuckled. "I seem to recall you being upset that *we* couldn't be alone ourselves." "That's different." "How?" "I wanted to be alone with you, not isolated with you." "Thank you very much." "You know what I mean." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. "Maybe I want to be isolated with you for a while." "They're like family." "I know, but John and Monica promised to come back and visit. The Gunmen said they'd keep in touch. Everyone is trying to get on with their lives." "Staying with us keeps them from doing that?" He frowned. "Maybe. We all belonged together so we could defeat the aliens. We've done that. It's time to move on." I buried my head in his chest. "I'm so scared." "I know. I am too, but we have a future now." I hoped he was right. The future seemed like a terribly frightening place to be. Without a specific goal in mind, it seemed a vast desert. "We can keep looking for Mulder if you want to." His voice was quiet, waiting for my response. I finally smiled and hugged him to me. "No. You're right. We have a future now. There's no one I'd rather be with." And I meant it. *************************** End.