The Beginning of Sorrows Part V See part I for descriptions, disclaimers and rating. ****************************************** *** Ec 1:18 For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow Job 36:17 But thou hast fulfilled the judgment of the wicked: judgment and justice take hold on thee. Pr 15:13 A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. ****************************************** ******** I woke to the sound of a loud thud and wood splintering. Men dressed in fatigues rushed in through the ruined cabin door and held guns to our heads. There were various shouts for us to obey, but Doggett struggled longer than the rest. He was rewarded with a rifle butt to the stomach. Skinner tried to protect me, but he was hit on the head and dragged out to the main room. Two other men dragged me by the arms when it appeared I couldn't walk. We were lined up sitting against the wall and held at gun point. The men wore black ski masks, but I didn't think they were super soldiers. They were too frantic in their movements, and I saw one man's hand shake a little as he held his gun. One stepped forward. "Who's the leader here?" "I am." Skinner said it with deadly force. "What are you doing here?" "I might ask you the same question." Great, a stalemate while they decided who was the bigger man. "They're here because of me." I heard Skinner suck a breath in at my declaration. "What do you mean?" "Well, unless you've been inside a cave for the past twenty-four hours, you couldn't have missed the large space craft hovering overhead yesterday." He took another step forward. "What do you have to do with that?" I looked at him, wondering how to word my response. "Nothing. It created a—compulsion to come here. It took a group of people with it, but I was late," I said, pointing to my bandaged feet. A slight man on the end took a step forward. "Did you see a blonde woman about twenty years old and wearing a green coat?" His young voice trembled with emotion. I tried to remember the people I'd seen standing in the light. "Did she have a big red barrette in her hair?" I asked, remembering shiny hair against blood red plastic. "Yes." "I saw her. She was in the group that was taken." The young man started shouting. "No, I don't believe that. She's still here. You killed her." He stepped forward in a threatening manner, and I thought he was going to shoot me. Ever the protector, Skinner stood up and placed himself between the gun and me. The man who spoke the first time tried to diffuse the situation. "Daniel, back off." "She's lying. They killed her." "We had nothing to do with her disappearance. If you really want to help her, I suggest you help us destroy the people responsible." Skinner used a calm and clear voice. The first man spoke again. "Are you partisans too?" "Yes. Our camp is two days away." The first man lowered his gun and the rest did also. Only 'Daniel' was reluctant to let go of the notion that we were enemies. "Put it down, Daniel." When he hesitated Skinner reached out and took it from him. Skinner stepped forward to shake the first man's hand. "I'm Walter Skinner." "I'm Robert Hunt." "Oh great. Now we're all friends. Don't let him kiss you big guy," Frohike said. The tension in the room diffused, and I heard laughter from both sides. "I think you should explain what you meant by destroying the people responsible." *********************************** There were ten in the new group and to our surprise more showed up. Each group had the same story: Someone in their party had answered the ship's call and they tracked them here to the cabin. Before the day was through, over fifty people crowded into the little valley. The cabin became full to over-flowing and a headquarters of sorts. Makeshift tents were erected outside. Those with temporary encampments nearby brought food and other essentials. Looking over the valley, it could have been mistaken for a miner's camp out of the old west. There was debate over whether we should stay, given the tragic events that had occurred there. Experience said the ship might come back, but not for some time. It was ironic that the aliens had given us the means to organize and exchange ideas. Because Skinner had a commanding presence and had been a former Assistant Director of the FBI, he was made the over-all leader. Once he started organizing, any hope of a stealthy attack on the alien facility was abandoned. A man name Green said we were only ten miles from it. Skinner told the other leaders about the virus, and the vaccine that was inside. He deliberately left out important details such as the tell-tale target lesions on victims, and Krycek's collaborative past. The legitimate fear that panic would cause the skittish to seek out the virus 'reservoirs' and kill them kept him silent. And as much as he hated to admit it, Skinner knew he needed Krycek too. After we had been there three days, I could walk again. Bloody and raw skin made it difficult, but I reasoned that exercise would improve blood flow to my poor feet. I sought Skinner out to have him take a walk with me. I found him in the cabin going over elaborate attack plans with a dozen or so men. He hadn't gotten much sleep lately, and I worried he was compromising his health. The Gunmen, Krycek, Monica and Doggett were there, too. Each apparently had an assigned area to work on. Klein had come up from camp to be at Skinner's side. I felt a little left out. Watching him work brought on a wave of nostalgia. It was like the times he organized us during FBI operations. He was in his element and quite good at what he did. Pride that he was mine made me smile unconsciously. When he saw me motion to him, he came over immediately. "I need to speak to you about something important." I imparted a sense of secrecy and urgency into my voice. He nodded silently and I led him outside. When I started for the woods he placed an arm on my shoulder. "Should you be walking this far?" "I need the exercise and to be away from all this," I said, gesturing to the people around us traveling about like worker ants. I walked until I could no longer see the cabin or any other person. I found a large, flat rock and sat down gratefully. Skinner brushed off snow and sat next to me. "So what's so important that you couldn't tell me in camp?" "This." I got up and stood between his legs. I leaned forward to kiss him hungrily. He was surprised at first and a little irritated, I think. But he returned the kiss with fervor. I hadn't spent any real time alone with him since we'd been at our own base camp. When I finally broke the kiss, I hugged him close, relishing the contact. I wished we didn't have so much clothing between us, and judging by Skinner's response to me I think he wished the same thing. He unzipped my coat and slid his hands inside. They roamed over my body while we kissed, causing my knees to quiver. "I want you so badly," he said against my ear. "I know. I want you too." His hands slid to the top of my jeans. "We could—" "NOT here," I gasped stepping back. When I saw the look of disappointment on his face I added, "I want you in a proper bed and not outdoors where we could be found by horny soldiers." The lack of women in the camp had made Skinner wary and possessive of me. He pulled me into his lap and held me close again, stroking my hair and occasionally kissing my face. "I wonder what would have happened if you'd slept with Monica first." "What the hell are you talking about?" Skinner's face was incredulous. "Don't tell me you didn't know Monica had a crush on you." "She did?" How could he be so blind? "Yes, she did. She practically drooled when you came into the room. Don't tell me you didn't notice?" "You were the only one I noticed, the only one I wanted," he said quietly. It was heart-breaking to know he'd felt that way. "Anyway, she drools only when John's around now." I laughed. "But do you think the nanocytes would have 'cured' her?" He was quiet. "I don't know." "I think Krycek was assuming a lot to think I was the first person you'd slept with since being infected with the nanocytes. Three years is a long time to wait." "I would have waited forever if I thought you could love me." I frowned at him. Why was he being so open? This wasn't like Skinner at all. "You're coming back," I said with emotion. "What?" "You're coming back from the raid. You promised you'd never leave me again, remember?" "I can't guarantee that Scully." "Well, you better figure a way out then." I found myself breathing fast as panic bubbled below the surface. All the fear I'd avoided thinking about was rearing its ugly head. He pulled me close, but I remained rigid in his embrace. "I know you've loved me for a long time, but I've just found you now. I want more time." I sounded whiny and stupid. Love had a way of making me that way. Mulder had seen this side too. He didn't say anything, just held me until I relaxed. I could feel him withdrawing from me emotionally while we sat there; steeling himself to return to the business of plotting to lead men into battle and certain death. A little while later we heard Doggett's voice calling. "Skinner, Scully are you out here?" Skinner stood up, dropping me gently to my feet. I looked up at him, knowing this would be the last time we'd be truly alone before he left. "I love you." "I love you too, Scully. I promise to come back." He sounded sincere, so why didn't I believe him? ****************************************** ************** The morning of the raid dawned cold and clear. There was anticipation in the air that crackled among the soldiers in the valley. I woke to find Skinner watching me, and caught his look of focused sadness before he could hide it. He bent down and kissed me so sweetly, so tenderly, I wanted to pretend that nothing else existed except the two of us. To pretend there was no deadly virus lurking in the shadows, no raid whose outcome was undetermined; that the dozen or so people sleeping in the next room were gone and I could make love to him at my leisure. But all those things did exist, and he was up and out before I could protest. I followed him later because I wasn't a part of the preparations for battle. But I was a doctor and knew I would definitely be a part of the aftermath. I'd persuaded Monica to stay behind with me. She was as good a nurse as I'd ever worked with and I would need her services. Doggett wanted her to stay behind as well so she'd be safe. I wondered what kind of goodbyes they'd say to each other. We were lucky enough to have a physician's assistant too. Larry Jason had worked in a small Midwestern town, and had essentially functioned as a full fledged doctor. He'd also performed surgery and I was grateful to have someone with experience. A large tent next to the cabin had been set up as a kind of M*A*S*H unit. We'd scavenged and torn up sheets for bandages. Plain needle and thread would have to do for stitches, and ordinary tree branches could be used for splinting. There wasn't much in the way of antibiotics, and painkillers were the scarcest of all. I was ashamed of myself, but I hid a supply of both in my personal belongings in case we ran short. No one in my group was going to be without help, especially Skinner. I was doing a final check list when a shadow fell over my clip board. Klein smiled in apology. "Klein!" I said with real pleasure. It'd seemed ages since we'd spoken in Skinner's office. "I'm sorry to bother you, Dr. Scully, but I wonder if you could spare some aspirin." As I came closer, I could see he was sweating and his skin was a sickly gray. "Klein, you need to lie down." I directed him to a cot and he nearly collapsed before I could get him there. Monica rushed over and helped me put his feet up. Klein's breathing was labored, and his heart was beating much too fast. "How long have you been sick?" "Two days now. I—I thought it was just a cold." I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. It couldn't be what I thought it was. It was too soon. Monica looked at me in fear. She was thinking the same thing. "Go get Skinner and Krycek," I said in an urgent whisper. Monica acted as if she hadn't heard me. She kept staring at Klein. "MONICA. Go get Skinner and Krycek." She obeyed at last, rushing out the door to find them. I removed Klein's sweat soaked shirt, and found a small red target on his left arm. I wondered why he hadn't told me. I didn't know that much about his history, and Skinner never spoke of it. I'd been under the impression that Klein had escaped capture as we had. I could see now that I was wrong. Skinner and Krycek rushed in a few minutes later and froze next to Klein's cot. I looked at Krycek to confirm my suspicions. "Is it the virus?" I asked him. "Yes." I looked at Skinner who was grim faced. "We need to isolate him. How long has he been sick?" "Two days." He looked at Krycek who shook his head. Skinner motioned for us to go outside the tent. "Even if we retrieve the vaccine tonight, it's too late for him," Krycek said, emotionlessly. "How do you know that?" I asked him. "Because I saw them experiment on humans. Once infected, the most they have is three days. But it's too soon for it to become active. Maybe that's why this last group was rounded up. Maybe it mutated." I looked at him in horror. "If that's true, then the vaccine could be useless. Vaccines are only useful for the specific virus they were created for." "But isn't there some---crossover?" Skinner asked. "Like in small pox? Wasn't cow pox used initially as a vaccine for that?" "Yes, but I don't know anything about this virus. I wouldn't know where to begin if the vaccine doesn't work." "Is it worth the risk to go and get a useless vaccine?" Monica asked, quietly. It was a good question, and one we didn't have an answer for. "We're all dead anyway if we don't go. It's worth the risk." Skinner sounded definite. I wasn't. **************************************** The radio crackled with static as we listened for information from Skinner and Doggett. They'd left just after sunset, and judged it would take about three hours for the battalion to reach the outer perimeter of the alien facility. Langly and Byers sat in front of a maze of overlapping colorful wires that were connected to two laptop computers. Apparently, they could track the company's movements via satellite, and give them information about the complicated locks inside the facility. Frohike had gone along as their collective eyes. I knew Langly was especially worried about his friend's safety. "You don't know the first thing about guns, and you'll probably get shot," Langly had argued before Frohike left. "I won't get shot. I'm too short. Skinner's a more likely target. He's a *big*--" I'd gasped in horror at the suggestion, even though it had been meant as a joke. "Sorry, Scully," they said sheepishly. It didn't help. Klein died an hour ago. His breathing had been water-logged, and desperately labored. His lungs finally gave out in one long agonizing rasp. I felt tears slip down my face. I couldn't believe I'd never speak to him again, never hear his southern voice or kind advice. Monica and I wrapped his body in a blanket and put him in the corner. We'd give him a proper burial when Skinner got back. So far no other cases had popped up. Suddenly the radio came to life. "Foxtrot 1 this is Charlie 3. Do you read me? Over." Base camp had been nicknamed Foxtrot after Mulder, and each of the five company units was named Charlie in deference to Skinner's Vietnam experience. I told Skinner that was the last time he should let the Gunmen name anything. "Charlie 3 this is Foxtrot 1. We read you loud and clear. Over." Byers had been made radioman because he had a clear and calm voice. Somehow the Gunmen had been able to pick a radio frequency and scramble it so that it sounded like static through any other radio without a special converter they'd rigged. Frohike carried a video camera that could be used only for very short periods because they couldn't hide its signal as they had the radios. "Foxtrot 1, we have reached the outer perimeter of The Borg. Over." I sighed and gave Langly a dirty look. This name was his alone. He only grinned broadly in return. We listened as each unit checked in and were moved into position around the facility. Skinner, Krycek, and Frohike were in unit 2, while Doggett was assigned to lead the 4th unit. The plan was for units 1, 3, 4 and 5 to make simultaneous assaults around the facility. Skinner's unit would go in behind which ever unit managed to break through first. Just as they moved in, we had unexpected visitors. Outside the cabin we heard shouts and the sound of gunfire. Monica and I grabbed guns and went out. Soldiers were firing on the few people left in the camp. Behind me I could hear sounds of gunfire over the radio as Skinner and his men fought their own battle. Monica and I went around the back of the cabin and behind the soldiers. I counted their five to our four or so. I motioned for Monica to shoot the two on the left, and I would take the right three. We were in perilous danger of being shot before the last one was dead if they turned around. Two of our own soldiers were pinned down. Without thought, Monica and I began to fire in earnest. They didn't even turn, still intent on the two before them. At first I thought they were super soldiers and we'd be killed for sure, but red blood poured out of the wounds we made and I knew they were probably human collaborators. Monica was a sharpshooter and easily dropped her two. I, on the other hand, was badly out of practice and managed to kill only one. The remaining two turned and I felt like a sitting duck. Beside me Monica shot them through the front of the neck, and saved my life. I rushed over to our downed soldiers. One was already dead, but one was still breathing. "Help me get him inside." The cabin was closer and I aimed for its door instead of the makeshift hospital. As we entered, I could see Byers and Langly frantically working over the radio. Monica and I deposited our burden, and she went to see what the problem was. My problem was the young man before me named Bryan. He was blond and probably only twenty years of age. Skinner had forced Bryan and his friend to stay behind where it was 'safe' because they were so young. He'd gone to Vietnam himself at age nineteen and hadn't wanted them to go through what he had. If only we had known. It was yet another irony in the alien scheme of things. I found a bullet entrance wound in his arm and frantically searched for an exit wound. If I couldn't find one it could have traveled anywhere. During one autopsy I'd seen a bullet enter a thigh and exit the end of a man's penis. The further a bullet traveled in the body the more damage it would do by a tumbling action. In Bryan's case, it could wind up in his chest. After turning him gently, I found an exit wound on the back of his arm; a clean through and through injury. As long as none of his major arteries were severed, he'd probably do well. Bullet wounds such as these were considered 'sterile.' A bullet traveled so fast, the heat from it would sterilize anything in its path. It wouldn't even require stitches. I suspected Bryan had simply fainted from fright. When I made sure he was comfortable enough, I went over to the radio. Monica looked anxious. "They've lost communication with the company." *************************************** Harsh static emitted from the makeshift radio. Byers and Langly were trying to raise the company again using every method possible. "What happened?" I asked. "When your friends showed up they must have caused some kind of electronic surge. One minute we're talking to Doggett, and the next nothing but static." Langly sounded angry and bewildered at the same time. "What was happening when you lost contact?" For no reason other than intuition, I had a feeling something bad had happened. "They managed to breach the outer perimeter, and Skinner's group went inside. There was a lot of gunfire, but I think they made it to the lab." Byers' voice was firm, conveying the surety of his belief that they'd gotten in. "I was walking Frohike through disabling the electronic lock on the door, when we lost contact." "Will you be able to get it back?" Langly and Byers looked at one another. In Gunmen body language, that meant they didn't know. We were all in for a sleepless night. I paced back and forth on my sore feet, unable to rest. I wouldn't feel secure until everyone was back and safe. Until Skinner was back and safe. I wondered whether it was better this way; to not know their fate until they came back, or listen to play-by-play action as they fought for their lives. And ours. Byers had said they made it inside. I had to hang onto that, focus on it or I'd go crazy with worry. "Come home to me, Skinner. Please come home," I begged silently. For the first time in years, I pulled my cross out to finger it absently. I wondered whether God would be angry with me for staying away for so long; for stopping prayer because I'd lost faith. What was the old saying? There were no atheists in foxholes. I walked out to the hospital tent to be alone. I saw Klein's inert body and realized I had nearly forgotten what the mission was all about. Right there I knelt down and prayed for their safe return. I was still on my knees when the first of the company came back. ****************************************** ******* At first they just trickled in, the wounded and living soldiers. No one we knew was in the first batch. Doggett, Frohike, Krycek and Skinner were unaccounted for. I questioned everyone alert enough to answer where they were, but no one seemed to know. After a short time I couldn't ask anymore because we were inundated with wounded. Monica and I worked frantically to salvage the few we could. Triage became a place of deciding who could live and who could die. Monica had trouble with doing that. She lacked the objectiveness it required, but I didn't blame her. It was a job few could do. But I could. John Hunt was left to do surgery by himself, and he 'drafted' a few soldiers to help out. When they protested he said, "I don't have time to listen to that and neither do *they*." I was bandaging someone's head when I heard Monica shout for me. "Scully! Come here!" John Doggett lay on a blanket covered in blood. He was a sickly gray color and at first I thought he might be dead. I touched his neck, searching for pulse. Beneath the dirt and blood I felt the fluttering of a heart beat. "Monica, he's still alive, but I think he's lost a lot of blood. Do you know his blood type?" "B positive, like mine." "Then I think you can give him a transfusion." "But the virus—" I smiled. "Monica, you've already 'shared' that, and it won't kill him until later. Lack of blood will kill him now." She nodded and I helped her carry him to a cot. I connected an IV to her and then to John. I instructed her to pump her fist, to keep the blood flowing. "I've given blood before, Scully." "Not like this." Behind me I heard a high pitch and whiny voice. "Hey, what about me?" Leaning against the side of a tent pole was a decidedly dirty and disheveled Frohike. "I'm the one who's gonna save us." He held out a large stainless steel container. ************************************* After making sure he wasn't injured, I ushered him into the cabin. Byers and Langly descended on him asking a torrent of questions all at once. He sat down dramatically. "We made it inside lab and I couldn't believe it, that bastard Krycek told the truth. The vaccine was right where he said it was. I broke into their computer system to find out how to get it, and let me tell you that wasn't easy." The Gunmen lapsed into tech-speak, and I cut them off. "What about the vaccine?" "It's here," Frohike said holding up the large container. "How do we use it?" "I downloaded everything that looked like medical jargon onto a disk." "Where's the disk?" Byers asked quickly. "Skinner has it." I sucked in a breath. "Where *is* Skinner?" Frohike raised his eyes, and looked at Langly and Byers. "He's not here?" We all shook our heads no. "Oh no." "What do you mean 'oh no?'" I was running out of patience. "Look, I don't think I'm the one to tell you this---." "If you don't tell me, you'll wish you'd died in the raid." "Okay, okay. After we stole the vaccine, there were some explosions. Krycek ran off toward the south end of the building and Skinner went after him. Doggett came through with some of his men and grabbed me. I told him what happened and, he said it was more important to get the vaccine back here. Skinner could take care of himself." I walked to the cabin door to look out. Doggett had been right, but knowing it didn't help the tearing sensation in my heart. "I'm sorry, Scully. I don't know what happened to him after that. We got caught in another explosion when we tried to leave. Doggett got hit." "Why were there so many explosions?" Byers asked. "Don't know. Doggett thought the place was rigged to blow because it looked like they were planning to pull out. Or already had." I turned around. "We can't use the vaccine if there aren't any instructions on how to utilize it. For all we know this could be full of the original virus, not the cure." There was silence while we thought about it. I couldn't think long, Monica came to get me. "Scully, there are more wounded coming in." ********************************** I kept myself busy with the wounded, always checking to see if Skinner was among them. When twenty-four hours had gone by without any sign of him, I knew he wasn't coming back. Treating the soldiers kept me from grieving too much, and when I finally allowed Monica to lead me to the cabin, sleep came quickly. Thankfully my sleep was dreamless. Exhaustion had some advantages. I roused myself near dawn of the second day to check on some of the sicker patients, and found Monica asleep at Doggett's side. She'd refused to leave him despite my urging for her to get restful sleep. "You need to think of the other patients." "I don't care about the other patients." "Yes you do," I said, gently. "You'll hate yourself later if you abandon them now." She finally agreed to sleep, but only at John's side. I was reluctant to wake her now, she appeared so peaceful. I walked around the other beds checking vital signs, bandages, and general conditions. It could have been much worse. I had the feeling that a skeleton crew of soldiers had been left behind to defend the facility, but why leave the vaccine there? Either it wasn't a vaccine, wasn't the right vaccine, or the aliens were already infected themselves and simply left. The raid was supposed to clear up our understanding of what was happening to us, but it only created new questions. Monica finally stirred awake, and I found her whispering to Doggett. "Hello John. It's good to see you doing better." I applied a fake smile to hide my sorrow. "I'm sorry Skinner didn't make it back with us Scully. I tried to find him, but that damn explosion stopped us cold." "It's all right John. I know you did the best you could." "I'm going to go wash up in the cabin," Monica said. "Then I'll come back and we can make rounds." I nodded absently while checking John's wounds. He had a jagged cut on his chest and abdomen that hadn't penetrated any vital organs, but had required about a hundred stitches that Monica had painstakingly put in. Before she left, I heard Monica say, "It looks like there's another soldier limping in. I'll hurry, and help you with him when I get back." "Okay," I answered absently. I finished with John's bandages and rose wearily to greet the new arrival. As I exited the tent I could see he was still a few hundred yards away. As he came closer, I felt a constriction in my chest. I thought I could see light bouncing off a bald head. Please God, let it be-----. Without thought I started running despite the pain in my feet. As I got closer the features beneath the smoke-marked face began to form familiar lines and I ran faster. I could feel tears running down my face, and they were in my eyes blurring Walter's handsome face. I jumped up into his arms and held him to me in a death grip. I just sobbed into his shoulder, still not believing he was back. "Are you real?" I asked his neck. "Yes." I felt him sway a little under my weight, and I hastily got down. "Are you all right?" "I didn't bring Mulder back." "It doesn't matter." "But---" "It *doesn't* matter. You're here, and that's all I care about right now." I pushed in under his side and walked him back to camp. I could see Monica, Doggett, and the Gunmen waiting for us there. They were even more rag tag than I remembered from base camp. I thought I had never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. ********************************* End Part V Epilogue to follow.