Title: Promises in the Dark
Author: Mrs. Fish
Fandom: Due South
Pairing: Fraser/Ray Vecchio
Warnings: Graphic m/m sex; angst
E-mail address for feedback: firstname.lastname@example.org
Summary: Fraser second guesses his feelings about Ray.
Disclaimer: This story is written for the private entertainment of fans. No infringement of any copyrights held by Alliance Communication or CTV is intended. This story is not published for profit, and the author does not give permission for this story to be reproduced for profit. The author makes no claims on the characters or their portrayal by the creation of this story.
Ben watched as Ray's form disappeared into the dark hallway, leaving him alone in the fading light. He waited a few seconds, in case he came back, before crossing the floor and shutting the door. Diefenbaker nudged his hand. Without moving he said "Diefenbaker, how could I be so stupid?"
It had begun innocently enough. Ray had called the Consulate and asked if Ben were free for dinner. "I have no plans for the evening, Ray."
"Great, I'll grab some take out and be over around six o'clock."
"I値l see you then."
The rest of the day had been spent on trivial consular matters -- arranging accomodations for a visiting trade delegate and his family, filling out invitations for the Canada Day reception, picking up Inspector Thatcher's dry cleaning.
Ben had showered and changed clothes before Ray's arrival. "Hiya, Benny. Hope you're hungry."
"Actually, yes. It smells wonderful, Ray. What is it?"
"I thought you were getting take out?"
"Well ... I wanted to surprise you. This is my way of saying thank you."
"Thank you for what?"
"My promotion! I owe it all you to you, Benny. If you hadn't figured out those cryptic clues, that psycho McGowan would still be out there doing unspeakable things to women."
A low growl made Ray look down. "And thank you too, Dief. Don't worry, there's plenty for all of us."
It had been a very pleasant dinner. Ray had thought of everything -- including candles, a tablecloth, and a bottle of Chianti. Fraser was feeling quite contented. Dief had just curled up in the corner when Ray got up and started clearing the table. "Ray, let me do that."
"No, Benny, you just relax. This is my treat."
Fraser didn't argue. He sat at the table enjoying the last of the wine while Ray cleaned. "Ok, Benny, ready for dessert?"
"Ray, I don't think I could eat another bite. The lasagna was quite filling."
"I知 not talking food here, Fraser."
"I知 afraid I don't follow you, Ray."
Ray stood behind Fraser. He placed his hands on Ben's shoulders and began to gently massage them. "You've been working way too hard, Benny. You need to relax."
"Mmm, that feels nice, Ray."
"Why don't you lay down?" Fraser allowed Ray to remove his shirt before laying face down on the bed. Ray began to massage Ben's neck and shoulders, kneading tired muscles. A soft moan escaped Fraser's lips. Ray worked his way down Ben's back, then massaged each arm, including hands and fingers. Ben was totally relaxed.
"Turn over, Benny." Fraser turned and Ray began massaging his chest. Ray's touch felt so good as his fingers caressed his nipples.
"Ray..." Fraser's bucked his hips slightly, his arousal showing.
Ray slid his hands down Ben's chest and quickly unbuttoned his jeans. Fraser arched his back and Ray removed them completely, tossing them beside the bed. Ray placed his hand on Fraser's groin, gently rubbing his erection. "Oooohh, Ray, please..."
A grin spread across Ray's face as he reached down and removed Fraser's boxers. "God, you're beautiful, Benny." Ray bent and ran his tongue along Ben's shaft and circled the cock head. Fraser moaned loudly. "You like that, Benny?"
"Yes... oh yes..."
Ray bent and took Fraser completely in his mouth. He sucked gently, licking at the same time. Ray took Fraser's balls in his hand; rolled them between his fingers. Ben began bucking into Ray's mouth, on the brink of orgasm. One more suck...
"Ray... oh God, Ray..."
Fraser痴 body trembled as the orgasm took him. Ray kept him in his mouth, giving Ben as much pleasure as he could. Ben's trembling stopped, replaced by the sound of heavy breathing. Ray lifted his head and swallowed. Ben's eyes were closed, a slight flush to his cheeks; beads of sweat covered his body. "You ok, Benny?"
Fraser opened his eyes -- those beautiful blue eyes that Ray had fallen in love with -- and smiled. "I'm fine, Ray, thank you. That was the best dessert I've ever had."
Ray had to laugh at that. "Benny, I love you." Ray kissed Fraser deeply, exploring his mouth with his tongue.
Ben gently pushed Ray away. "Ray, would you like dessert as well?"
"I'd love dessert, Fraser."
Fraser undressed Ray and gave him the same pleasure as he'd received. They spent the rest of the night just holding each other, gently kissing and caressing, before both of them drifted off to sleep.
When Ray awoke the next morning, Ben was gone. He tried calling Fraser several times at the Consulate later. They kept telling him he wasn't in; they didn't know where he was. Ray was beginning to worry. Had something happened to Fraser? Was he hurt? This wasn't like Ben. Ray left the precinct early and went to Fraser's apartment.
"Benny... Benny, open up, it's Ray."
The door opened and Ben stood there apparently unharmed. "Hello, Ray. Come in, we... we need to talk."
"Benny, where the hell have you been? I've been worried about you, especially when the Consulate didn't know where you were."
"I went for a walk -- a long walk -- and just spent the day in the park thinking."
"You're all right though?"
"Yes, I知 fine. Sit down, Ray, please." The two men sat at the small, kitchen table. Ben looked down at his hands, unable to face Ray. "Ray, about last night..."
"Last night was wonderful, Benny. You don't know how happy you made me."
"It was wrong. It shouldn't have happened. I... I don't feel that way about you. You're my friend, Ray, my best friend, nothing more." Ben lifted his head.
Ray looked as if Ben had just slapped him. "So, what are you saying? Sorry, I made a mistake? I love you, dammit! Doesn't that count for anything?"
"Ray, I'm sorry. I can't change the way you feel. I don't know what came over me last night. Perhaps it was the wine. Maybe I've just been celibate too long. I just don't know. I do know it can never happen again. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you..." Ben's voice trailed off as the tears began to fall down his face.
"Save the waterworks, Fraser. I've heard this story before. I just thought it would be different with you."
...and now Ray was gone. Would it have been so hard to say the words? What do duty and honor matter when you're alone? Well, he'd been alone before. It was better this way. Fraser rolled over and pulled a pillow close to him. "Ray..." The tears came freely, sobs racking his body.
A soft knock on the door broke the silence. Fraser jumped out of bed and wiped the tears from his face. He opened the door, surprised, yet thrilled to find Ray had returned. Fraser grabbed him and pulled him into the apartment. He pinned the shocked detective against the closed door and kissed him with a passion Ben had only felt once before. Ben's tongue forced its way into Ray's warm mouth, sliding over Ray's teeth and palate. Ray pushed Ben away gently, his eyes questioning.
"I love you, Ray. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
The tears came again, running down Ben's cheeks. Ray pulled him close, rubbing circles on Ben's back, trying to comfort him.
"Benny, please don't cry. It's all right. It's gonna be ok, really. I love you. I love you so much." Ray kissed Ben's cheek and pulled him closer.
Ben looked up and gazed deeply into his lover's eyes. "Ray, promise you値l never leave me again."
Ray's heart felt as if it were going to break. "Oh, Benny, I promise..."
Ray's lips pressed against Ben's once again. He manoeuvred them to the bed, and began undressing the more than willing Ben...
Later, held protectively in Ray's arms, Ben smiled contentedly. How could he ever deny his love for this man? The man who had done so much for him, and had asked so little in return. He couldn't, not anymore. Ben would do anything to keep Ray's love -- anything -- no matter what Ray asked of him. Ben loved him unconditionally, undeniably, and he knew nothing would end that love, not even death.
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