The Paladins Affair
Gen and Slash.
Zine Description: None Given
Publisher Info: None Given
Review:
I found THE PALADINS AFFAIR (a special, mostly-UNCLE issue of the
fanzine PALADIN) both curiously attractive and repllent at the
same time. On the one hand, the stories are well-written and
imaginative; on the other, some of them gave me the creeps! The
gorgeous cover by Connie Faddis promises good art within; the
zine fulfills this promise with illustrations ranging from good
to excellent.
The
"Napoleon, Solo Affair" (clever title!) by Jan Lindner
has Mr. Waverly separating Napoleon and Illya because they work
too well together. Shades of "The Rack" (infamous
grief-guilt-agony Star Trek novel in which Starfleet tries to
break up Kirk & Spock). Although I didn't find it entirely
plausible, this story does provide a handy prelude to the
incident hinted at in "Return of the Man from
U.N.C.L.E." that caused Illya's departure. The illos by
Maggie Nowakowski show a progressive fadeout of the original
opening scene from the black-and-white series (Solo behind the
bulletproof glass): a nice idea, well executed. The next story,
"The Parting of the Ways Affair" by Bea Wise, follows
Illya home to Russia after that incident, and concerns his
decision to leave U.N.C.L.E. The author shows the different
characters in his family very nicely.
I didn't like
the next story, "Players of the Game" by Emma Lee
Marion, partly because I'm not into Starsky and Hutch (or S/H,
for that matter) and just can't see them as joining U.N.C.L.E.,
and partly because I didn't like the portrayal of Illya. This
author has a tendency to show Illya as some kind of fanatic whose
devotion to Napoleon provides his only stability, and I disagree
with her interpretation of the character. If you like Starsky
& Hutch, though, you may find this story interesting. Good
illos by Ruth Kurz.
"The Final
Lesson Affair" by Denetia Arellanes is a two-hankie death
story. The author has a nice touch with sentiment - instead of
letting the characters wallow in self-pity, she rescues the story
from being maudlin by introducing some witty (and very naughty!)
reminiscences. Ultimately it is touching, but not depressing. The
illos by Signe Landon and E. Roy are sketchy but pleasant.
"The Prayer
of the Hawke Affair" by Joyce Hindman, was sweet, but I had
a hard time suspending disbelief; Napoleon and Illya didn't seem
to belong there. The characters of Isabeau and Navarre were
well-shown, and Illya's concern over Napoleon's infatuation with
Isabeau was an interesting subtheme. Dramatic action illos by the
author, plus a portrait of Navarre by Robin Mujica, were an added
attraction.
"A Year in
the Life: Waverly's side of the story" by An Truh featured
pages from Mr. Waverly's appointment calendar scattered through
one section of the zine. There were many individual funny entries
("K. blew up lab again") as well as running jokes (for
instance, Waverly's New Year's resolutions). I was utterly
charmed - of course, I'm always charmed by Mr. Waverly.
"The Crab
Apple Cove Affair" by Charlene Kirby is the first of the
many U.N.C.L.E./M*A*S*H* crossover stories that I've read that
doesn't take place in Korea. It's a nice story but I don't see
much point to it. The author's illustration of a weary Hawkeye
complements the story well.
"Solo
Flight" by Diane Hawley and Eileen Roy was a nice Pern
crossover. I liked the theme of the return of a sense of wonder,
which was expressed on more than one level of the story. The use
of humor was also effective in keeping the story from getting too
sweet. Hawley's illos are precious, especially the one of
Napoleon, looking slightly disgusted, feeding expensive groceries
to a ravenous fire lizard.
"Fool's
Mate" by Emma Lee Marion features a daring and original way
to cross U.N.C.L.E. with Trek. Members of U.N.C.L.E. are put
aboard a sleeper ship during the Eugenics Wars and are rescued
many years later by the Enterprise - the ISS Enterprise, to be
exact (from the "Mirror, Mirror" universe). At this
point it becomes two stories. One is an exciting, suspenseful
tale of the clash between the UNCLE team and the Enterprise crew.
The politics of Empire aboardship and the relationships among the
mirror universe characters are well delineated. The UNCLE team
revived first, headed by Illya, includes a number of characters
from other fandoms: most prominently, a shy telepath named Radar
O'Reilly is engagingly depicted. Unfortunately, this is also
another story: a particularly vicious get-Illya piece, both
physically and psychologically. Illya is beaten up by most of the
Enterprise crew, sexually abused by Sulu, and mind-raped by
Spock. Moreover, Illya is already mentally unstable; Waverly
describes him as schizophrenic and Napoleon recalls a mission on
which Illya's devotion to Napoleon caused him to have a
breakdown. I should hedge my criticism with some qualifications,
however. Since this is an alternate universe apparently right
from the beginning (UNCLE here stands for the United Network
Command for Liberty and Equality), this portrayal of Illya is
arguably an acceptable variant. And some violence is going to be
necessary to a story set in this universe; but I found the
brutality to exceed the bounds of necessity, to say nothing of
good taste. The illos by E. Roy are done in a semi-abstract
style, appropriate to the story.
"The B-Team
Affair" by Eileen Roy has one mark of a really good
crossover story: I enjoyed it immensely even though I've never
seen the A-Team! The opening scenes with Murdock and Illya in the
insane asylum were wonderfully funny. Diane Hawley's illos are
excellent. "The HoHoHo Affair" by D.J. Driscoll was a
well-done, wickedly funny excursion into the utter madness of a
group typing session. The cartoon-style illos, also by Diane
Hawley, are as wacky as the story.
There follows a
miscellaneous section consisting chiefly of material from other
fandoms: The Equalizer, The Professionals, Scarecrow and Mrs.
King, and Shadowchasers. I'll have to skip reviewing these 'cause
I'm not familiar with the genres. There's also a nice trivia quiz
and a pleasant and informative essay on Holmesian nonCanonical
fiction.
Finally the zine
concludes with "The Stitch in Time Affair" by Emma Lee
Marion. This is billed as "implied same sex" but it's
really slash with no sex scenes. (I would have rated her other
two stories as "implied same sex.") This is a Sapphire
and Steel crossover that takes advantage of Illya's obvious
resemblance to Steel (David McCallum played both roles). It's
also a love story in which Napoleon gradually realizes that he
does want to make a commitment to Illya - even if it's for
thousands of years. If you don't like slash, you won't like the
story, especially the ending lifted straight out of Gaudy Night.
If you do, you probably will. The question of slash aside, it's
got an interesting plot and an unsentimental characterization of
the mysterious elemental beings who struggle against time.
There's only one illo, a portrait of Napoleon & Illya and
Sapphire & Steel by (guess who!) Diane Hawley.
In conclusion, I would recommend this fanzine, but with reservations. If you strongly dislike violence or slash, you may not like this zine. Setting those considerations aside, however, the stories are imaginative, well-written, and well-illoed. I do think the ratings are a little understated: I would give the zine an "R" rather than the editor's suggested "PG-13." The editor very considerately provides warnings in the Table of Contents, labeling those stories which are violent, silly, implied same-sex, death stories, or, as in the case of the "HoHoHo Affair" - all of the above!
Reviewer: Anne Collins Smith