by kai
September 1998
Saturday, 3:42 am. Exhausted, Jim Ellison slowly made his way to the door and let himself into the loft. His left side ached from a suspect's flailing fist and his knee was sore and bleeding, jeans ripped by jagged concrete during the pursuit. Shrugging out of his jacket, he stretched, shoulders and back painfully stiff from too many hours spent typing incident reports. A jaw-cracking yawn followed: time for a long, hot shower, then bed.
The moon had set hours ago, and the loft was dark, silent, Sandburg obviously asleep. Jim could hear the soft sounds of breathing, the steady cadence of his Guide's heart and the whisper of cotton as sheets slid across lean, sleek muscles.
Blair was in his bed. Upstairs.
The thought jolted him awake. A potent tequila shot, burning down his throat, through his belly, pooling in his groin, slowly spreading the scintillating heat of arousal. He didn't think of it as their bed yet--their relationship was still too new. Only a few short weeks since they'd begun this amazing journey together, and only the second time they'd actually shared a bed. Their first time, nearly a week ago, was permanently seared into his senses: deep, sumptuous scents; chestnut curls' silken slide along his inner thighs; slick heated kisses and deliciously quivering flesh beneath his sensitive fingertips. Never having touched another man so intimately, the depth and strength of his own response had shocked him, left him craving the next touch of those lush lips and his lover's masterful hand on his heated cock. But since then, their schedules had conflicted and stake-outs, swing-shifts and final exams had all conspired to leave him alone and aching, Blair's phantom presence on his pillow and sheets a poor substitute.
Locking the door quietly, he hung up his jacket and passed the coffee table as he made his way to the foot of the stairs. The residual heat from Blair's laptop suggested that his Guide wasn't long asleep. A crimson flare of desire licked in his belly, slid lower, lengthened his cock, tightened his jeans. Licking dry lips, he paused, torn between a shower or awakening his Guide. The gritty feel of his skin and complaining knee decided him: shower first, then love.
Hot water poured over his skin, thousands of tiny fingers massaging away the grime and tension, relaxing every muscle. Jim sighed with pleasure as the heat seeped into him. The scent of amber and myrrh lingered in the air: Sandburg had showered and shaved an hour earlier, obviously in preparation for his homecoming. Blair had stood here, water sluicing along his sleekly muscled, lithe form. Had leaned over the tub and slowly toweled himself and his silky curls dry. The luscious image burst into his mind with startling, aching clarity and Jim clamped his lips on an involuntary moan of need.
He finished his shower quickly, brushed his teeth, bandaged his knee and reached for his razor. Stuck to the corner of the mirror was a note: "Wake me. Love me".
Somehow, he managed not to cut his throat shaving, despite fingers that trembled in anticipation.
Body loosened by the shower, aroused by the lingering scents of his lover, Jim padded down the hall naked, stray air currents caressing bare skin. As he crossed the room to the stairs, Jim felt a tingle in his belly as their bond came alive within him. His instinctive, bone-deep awareness of his Guide, strengthened by proximity, sparked through his senses, deepening them. Each sense slowly twisted and unfurled inward until he could feel Blair's breath, increasing heartbeat and the vibration of his arousal as if singing through his own flesh. He smiled with satisfaction; his Guide was awake.
He caught a flash of silver at the edge of his vision; a fleet shadow flowed across the floor, solidified, yellow eyes glinting, long pink tongue lolling. Long limbs flexed gracefully as Jim silently followed the sleek, grey wolf up the stairs.
His nude lover lay prone, in the center of the bed, legs spread wide, chin resting on his hand. The sheet pooled suggestively around his hips. Blair had lit a candle on the dresser and its guttering flame painted his Guide with tantalizing russet and tawny shadows. His lush dark curls glinted in the candlelight, spilled across his shoulders and face, mysteriously obscuring one luminous blue eye. The rich, mingled scents of vanilla, sandalwood and Blair's arousal slithered towards him, twining lazily with the air currents, coiling around his body. Yellow eyes gleamed from the shadowed corner. Jim paused on the top step, heart pounding, mouth suddenly dry.
"Welcome home, James." Blair's voice, seductive and deep, slid through his senses, caressed his ears, burned in his belly and vibrated the length of their bond. Jim could sense the dark heat of the jaguar at the back of his mind. Felt it stalk forward, coarse, slick fur brushed across his fingertips and thighs as it passed by. Became aware of his own low, nearly subvocal growl at the sight of his lover arranged so deliciously in his bed, his territory.
Blair stretched sinuously, seductively, rolling to his side to face him, "I've been waiting for you."
Jim licked his lips expectantly and slowly paced forward.
Flickering candlelight burnished the heavily muscled body of his Sentinel, limning his chiseled torso, gilding the length of his generous cock. The sight nearly stole his breath. The black jaguar coalesced from his lover's shadow, crossed the distance to the bed and languidly brushed against Blair's outstretched hand. Its silken fur slid across his finger tips as it prowled round the end of the bed to join its mate in the far corner. Sapphire-dark with passion, Jim's eyes hotly, possessively swept his body. His lover growled, raising the hair on Blair's neck, and stalked gracefully to the bedside.
Blair rolled to his knees, shaking back his hair. His body quivered with the force of their bond. Newly awakened internal senses hummed, bathing him in the deep crimson heat of Jim's arousal. Only the second time he'd been graced with this glorious sight, been granted permission to touch, taste, explore the contours of his love's sculpted beauty.
Their first night had been about satisfying long restrained mutual passion: gobbling greedily, snatching desperately, cramming each fevered gasping moment with slick tongues, demanding lips and grasping fingers. But that long, luscious, sometimes awkward evening had sated his immediate cravings. Tonight he would savor his lover's every delight: smooth, hard chest, elegant sweep of neck and spine, perfectly crafted stomach and thighs and deliciously long, hot cock. He would listen to the soft music of his Sentinel's sighs as he slowly bathed each warm testicle with his tongue and then swallowed his lover whole.
Blair released his next breath on a low moan running his fingers the length of his own aching cock. He swept his thumb across the sensitive head and slowly touched it to his tongue, deliberately provoking his lover, "Come here, James." The shadowed jaguar growled and his Sentinel moved decisively, swept him backwards, pinned him to the bed, tangled long fingers in his hair. Blair wound his arms around Jim, then arched against his mate, grinding their hips together slowly, dragging a soft gasp from his Sentinel, "I've dreamt of this all week." His next words were stolen as Jim's hot mouth covered his.
Jim reveled in the exotic spice of Blair's mouth, tongue slick and warm, slowly thrusting against his. He spent long moments suckling that sweet tongue, nipping full lips, nibbling the smooth column of throat. Cupping Blair's head in his hands, he nuzzled the silky hair tumbled across the pillow then inhaled his lover's sweet sighs.
Drawing back, he parted his love's strong thighs and settled between them. They both cried out as their cocks slid slowly, rhythmically against one another. Blair's eyes were passion-dark, heavily lidded, lips swollen and moist from their kisses. "Mmmmm, that was so very nice," his lover whispered. Warm fingers trailed up and down his spine, languidly tracing each vertebra, sliding into his cleft to the sensitive place just behind his balls, gently stroking, "I know you like this..." He gasped; Blair had a very good memory.
Eagerly, he threw every sense wide, devouring this sensory feast, safely grounded by his new, internal awareness of his Guide. Tonight, there was no need for haste or desperation, no place for confusion, fear or hesitation. The tumultuous past few weeks had convinced him that he and Blair were meant to be, were meant to share this exquisite, once forbidden passion. All lingering reservations and nerves were swept away by the blaze of certainty and lust resonating between them, through their bodies and minds.
Slowly, he slid down Blair's strong, lean body. Paused to lick each nipple to aching hardness, paint each rib lovingly with finger tip and then tongue. Touch mapped his lover's rising heat pattern and trembling skin. Taste and smell delighted in the cornucopia of his pheromone-glazed limbs. Hearing bathed in the lush chorus of sighs and moans. Sight was teased with flashes of tawny flesh bathed in gold glimpsed from his own half-lidded eyes. His Guide writhed sinuously in his grasp, "Taste me, James."
Smiling, daring, he slowly trailed his lips down Blair's quivering, taut stomach, and for the first time, slowly licked the head of his lover's weeping erection.
Slick salt burst deliciously upon his tongue.
"Oh god!" His body arched, muscles tightening as his lover's tongue licked the length of his cock, teased its tip, then swept downward to slowly lick his inner thighs. Blair's hips rose rhythmically, uncontrollably, seeking the warmth of his Sentinel's teasing mouth. Strong hands caressed his stomach, chest, thighs, firmly pressed him to the bed as the moist heat enveloped him, loved him.
Blair opened his eyes briefly and gasped at the sight of his powerful Sentinel lying between his widespread thighs, candlelight flickering across the sculpted planes of his shoulders, enthusiastically suckling his cock. His shy, hesitant lover was gone, banished. In his place, this slyly smiling, feral spirit intent on triggering, testing his every erotic response, devouring him, driving him insane.
Fire and ice sang through his veins, burned through his belly, weakening his limbs, staining his vision crimson and then indigo. A triumphant, affirming symphony, driving away his worries and fears that Jim could ever love him, touch him with such joy and intimacy.
"Ah! James!" He was poised on the edge, a single heated breath would send him over. "Please!" he tried to warn his lover, tried to gather his disintegrating control, tell his mate to move away. But Jim ignored him, continued his tender assault. Wordlessly, Blair threw back his head and abandoned himself to his Sentinel's passionate onslaught. And then he was falling for an infinity, his love's mouth milking him, drinking him down, throat caressing him, arms holding him close with surpassing strength and tenderness.
Blair rested for a moment, sated and relaxed in the afterglow. He savored Jim's sweet breath, laden with his own scent, while his Sentinel whispered loving words against his throat. Along their bond, he felt a curious internal oscillation between his golden, languid satiation and the brilliant vermilion of Jim's increasing need. Rolling to his side, he gently cupped his lover's balls, then slid his hand firmly up the shaft, dragging a ragged breath from his Sentinel. He smiled devilishly, "Your turn."
With surprising strength, Blair rolled them both, until Jim lay sprawled on his back, crosswise on the bed, blanketed by his lover's warm, heavy form. Blair sat up, straddled him, dark hair trailing over his shoulders, errant strands clinging to his face, blue eyes smoky and commanding.
"Do you trust me, James?" the satin-covered steel in his lover's voice caressed his ears, automatically relaxed and yet focussed him.
"Yes," he gasped. Slow hands moved on his shoulders, stomach. Gentle fingers teased his nipples, stroked his lips, cheeks, carded his hair. Blair's warm balls and smooth, sweat-slicked ass slid over his groin as he undulated slowly, erotically, inflaming Jim's senses. He couldn't contain his sudden cry, "Oh god...Blair!"
His Guide smiled. "Then let me love you."
Unable to resist the strength of his mate's command, Jim surrendered. Incendiary kisses burned his lips and throat. Fingers, lips and tongue painted erotic patterns on his belly and thighs. He reveled in the succulent scent of their arousal, Blair's essence upon his lips, in his mouth, his own passionate shouts and cries, his love's brilliant smile and satisfied laughter. Together, they created a wondrous melange of sensations that spun through his being, freeing him, unfettering his every inhibition.
Blair's moist tongue painted his inner thighs, slicked his cock, lovingly bathed his balls. Jim trembled as his legs were widely parted, his knees drawn up. He gasped in shock as his Guide's teeth delicately nibbled his sensitive perineum and his deft tongue swirled lower and gently teased his anus.
"Blair?" his voice trembled with commingled passion and uncertainty.
"Trust me, James. Relax."
Jim closed his eyes and groaned helplessly as the luscious massage continued, each devastating stroke softening, opening him. Knees pulled to his chest, he felt paradoxically vulnerable and yet safe, wanton, cherished, held lovingly in his lover's commanding hands. Never before had he ever experienced this, fantasized that someone might touch him, love him so intimately.
He gasped in protest as the teasing tongue pulled away, then screamed shamelessly as a cool, slick finger slid into him and his lover's hot mouth closed over his cock and slid down the shaft.
"Blair!"
Blair's throaty laughter vibrated the head of his cock deliciously. One finger was joined by a second, dancing deep within him, igniting a firestorm of passion and pleasure before which all reason fled; his body shook with its force.
Writhing uncontrollably, pleasured from within and without, Jim spiraled towards completion, the flame-chased walls of the loft dissolving into leaf-patterned shadows. He heard a howl, a feline growl, Blair's cries mingled with his own. Felt soft fur slide along his skin and the strength of his Shaman's hands on his flesh. A burst of light, an exquisite convulsion of flesh, pinnacle of pleasure and then oblivion, accompanied by the music of his lover's gentle laughter.
The candle was out, but the tang of beeswax and carbon still lingered, heavily overlaid by the scent of their love making. Though the sky was still dark, Jim could taste the edge of dawn in the changing sounds and scents of the city. Blair lay peacefully in his arms, curly head resting against his shoulder, one lightly-furred leg thrown over his; their clasped hands rested on his chest. His free hand slowly stroked his lover's curly hair, smooth neck and spine in cadence with the steady rain pattering against the window panes. Drowsy and relaxed, Jim enjoyed Blair's nearly inaudible hum of pleasure with each caress. He smiled at the contented purr from the corner.
Only in his most private fantasies had he allowed himself to imagine a man's warm, heavy weight lying relaxed beside him after love making; the feel of hair-dusted skin, the light prickle of beard; strong, sleek muscles in lieu of soft curves.
How many times had he lain sleepless as a child and then as a young man, struggling to banish those uncomfortable feelings and sensations? Feelings that he'd been told repeatedly, emphatically were so clearly wrong, made him perverted, a freak, and yet that arose so effortlessly and naturally, unbidden.
And how many years had he been privately surprised that he'd reached yet another birthday sane and alive? Surprised that he hadn't already shattered into a thousand pieces, met an early, yet expected death. Alone. Until this this beautiful, elemental force, now quiescent in his arms, entered his life bringing light and hope.
Of all the closed and locked doors in his mind, doors tentatively opened with Blair's loving encouragement, he was most grateful for those that opened upon this warm, sandy cove. This softly lit, sheltered place wherein he'd joyfully accepted his sensory gifts, been graced with this new role of Sentinel, blessed with a life companion to Guide him, and been granted the strength to accept and ultimately welcome his love for Blair.
Perhaps his lover knew the right words to express the tremendous sensation of peace and rightness that washed over and through him tonight. A majestic, sparkling wave that swept away decades of agonized fear, denial, self-hatred and self-doubt carefully hidden behind his persona of professional warrior. But Jim was no poet. He could only hope that Blair, with his gift of compassion could intuit that which was unspoken and yet deeply felt and meant. Words that Jim fervently wished he had the means and voice to say when he nuzzled his companion's cheek, gently squeezed his hand and whispered, "I love you."
Finis.