Title: Toasting Janus
Author: Hathor
Feedback: LadyRaistlin@hotmail.com
Rating: R
Pairings: Jack/Daniel
Category: First Time
Date: December 2002
Status: Complete
Archive: Alpha Gate, Area52.
Spoilers: References to multiple episodes in Season 3
Website: http://www.squidge.org/~hathor/

Disclaimer: Sadly these characters are not mine, but Daniel haunts my 
dreams.

Notes: Thanks to Annie for doing a wonderful beta on this at such 
short notice - above and beyond the call of duty! Janus is the
Roman god of gateways, doors and the New Year. He is depicted as 
having two heads - one looking back and one looking forward. 

Summary: It's New Year's Eve and Jack and Daniel try and put
the past year behind them.



* Toasting Janus *

Jack looked out of the window, nursing a half drunk beer. Streaming 
taillights punctuated the darkness, casting a surreal light over the 
view of Colorado Springs.

Daniel's bare feet were braced against the low ash table, a dangling 
hand propped up by a cushion held a nearly empty beer bottle. He 
silently watched Jack at the window. The younger man's wry half 
smile was just visible in the low illumination of the room.

It was New Year's Eve and by tacit agreement Jack had turned up on 
Daniel's doorstep a couple of hours ago, bearing a small crate of 
beer and a large bag of pistachios. The two men had chatted for a 
couple of hours before falling into the current amicable silence. 
Daniel sat on the couch dressed in jeans and an untucked shirt, his 
choice of clothes pretty much the same as Jack's. Apart from the 
crate of beer and the discarded nutshells, there was little to 
announce to the world that this was a party. But it was, albeit a 
private one between two good friends. 

Jack took a swig of his beer as he watched a group of revellers walk 
down the street below, their echoing laughter muted through the 
glass. He sighed slightly as he wished, as he occasionally did, that 
his life could be a little more ordinary.

"Penny for your thoughts," came a soft enquiry.

Jack looked up and across at the relaxed form of his friend. There 
again, Jack thought, if he lived a life a little more ordinary, he 
certainly would not have met the attractive and, if somewhat on 
occasion, infuriating genius sitting in front of him right now.

"Hellva year," Jack said toasting Daniel with the beer bottle.

Daniel blinked and then nodded sadly. The loss of Sha're still cut 
deep, not to mention the nightmares they both shared from their time 
on Netu and about the Replicators reaching Earth. Not only had 
Daniel had to deal with Sha're's death, he'd also nearly lost Jack 
twice this year. Daniel himself had been slightly better off, with 
one count of alleged insanity and one case of invisibility. 

"Perhaps you would have been better off staying on Edora," Daniel 
said looking up at Jack.

Jack barely hid the shudder but the flash of pain and anger in his 
eyes made Daniel regret the quip. The look of remorse that crossed 
his best friend's face made Jack crack out a one-liner back.

"What and miss out on all the fun...and Carter's cooking?" he
said laughing.

"You came back for Carter's cooking!" Daniel's eyebrows shot
up as he tried to ignore the strange sinking feeling in his 
stomach. "Things must have been desperate out on Edora."

"They weren't that bad," Jack said, fond but distant memories of 
Laira filled him. "It was good to be loved again...even for such a 
short time," he muttered before draining his beer.

Daniel looked at him with compassionately bright eyes. "Yes, yes it 
was," he said sadly, speaking of his own experience with Sha're. 
Jack moved to the side of the couch and snagged another couple of 
beers out of the cardboard crate. Handing one to Daniel he raised 
his bottle. "To them," he said softly. Daniel smiled and raised his 
own bottle before tipping his head back to take a long drink.

Daniel looked across at Jack, a part of his brain trying to think 
about a topic of conversation to stop them both sinking into a 
melancholy state. Another part wondered if, like himself, Jack was a 
passionate lover. Definitely loyal and giving but would he give 
himself completely and utterly to a partnership. Daniel cocked his 
head and observed his friend. Yes, he guessed. Jack would be 
passionate if it was the real thing for him. The good Colonel was 
like himself in so many ways, even if they were flip sides of the 
coin. Both of them fought for whatever they truly believed in.

"Daniel?" Jack said, querying the intent stare from his friend.

"Sorry Jack. I was just thinking."

"Shocker," came the soft jibe. 

"Have you..." Daniel began but stopped for fear of overstepping the 
mark. Jack raised an eyebrow motioning for him to continue. "I 
mean, after Laira - have you thought about..?" Once again Daniel 
tailed off.

Jack blinked and then tried to fill in the gap. "Dating anyone 
else?" Jack guessed.

Daniel nodded and shifted on the couch as Jack plumped down next to 
him. Jack's nearness brought a shy warmness to Daniel.

"Not really. I mean, I realised that with the job that we do, what 
kind of meaningful relationship could I offer?"

Daniel nodded as Jack continued. "Besides, in a rare introspective 
moment, and I do stress it was rare moment - I realised that my 
friends gave me a lot of things a relationship would. Family, 
commitment and love."

Daniel nodded, surprised at Jack's insightfulness.

"Shame about the lack of sex though," Daniel said devilishly as he 
took a gulp of beer.

Jack groaned. "You just had to go and bring that up, didn't
you?" He swigged the last of the beer from his bottle as Daniel 
laughed. "I was doing really well up until then."

"Yes you were." Daniel grinned as he motioned for Jack to excavate 
another two beers out of the crate. 

"Damnit, I miss the sex," came the muffled voice from over the arm of 
the couch, accompanied by the chinking of beer bottles. Daniel 
snorted in amusement. "I don't know what you're laughing about, 
BookBoy. Last time I looked you weren't getting any either." 
Jack said as he sat up, two more beers in his hand.

"Says who?" Daniel replied giving Jack a cryptic smile. Jack's 
eyebrows flew upwards. 

"Besides you don't have to be in a meaningful relationship to be 
getting sex," Daniel said as he peered over his glasses at Jack, 
inwardly enjoying the chance to wind up his friend.

Jack's eyes narrowed as the realisation of Daniel sleeping with 
someone sank in. "So who is it?"

Daniel rose, placing his glasses on the table, without answering the 
question. He was about to head to the drinks cabinet in search of 
something a bit stronger when he felt a powerful grip close around 
his wrist. Looking down he saw Jack's earnest face looking up at 
him. "So who are you sleeping with, Daniel?" The tone tried to be 
jovial but something in Jack's eyes caught Daniel's attention. 

Daniel flexed his fingers and the grip lessened slightly. Daniel 
smiled down at Jack, keeping his tone bantering. "Really Jack, I 
don't think its any of your business whom I am sleeping with."

Jack stared up at Daniel before he growled in frustration and 
released Daniel's wrist. "Does it bother you?" Daniel asked
quietly.

Jack knew he should shrug and clap Daniel on the back, congratulating 
him for being such a dog for getting some. Yet the feeling of loss, 
of someone else being there for Daniel, fulfilling Daniel's needs, 
was intense.

"Yes," he said softly. "I don't want to lose you to someone
else."

Daniel blinked, understanding dawning. "You won't lose me, Jack. 
What you and I have, it's not destroyed that easily."

Jack looked up and raised a sardonic eyebrow. "And what exactly is 
it that we have?" he said quietly. Silence and something else 
indefinable stretched between them. Jack placed his beer bottle down 
and then nervously reached for Daniel's hand. Jack's fingers curled 
around Daniel's palm and he pulled ever so slightly, yet his grip was 
light enough to let Daniel step away if he chose.

Daniel's thoughts had fled when Jack's hand closed around his own. 
Following the pressure from the older man he moved to stand closer to 
where Jack sat. His long legs brushed against Jack's knees. Another 
hand snaked out from Jack to snag his other palm. Jack's rough 
fingers danced over the back of his hand, before once more tugging 
gently.

In one swift motion, Daniel followed the silent instruction and slid 
forward to kneel on the couch, his legs straddling Jack's lap. The 
hands gripping his own settled against the back cushion of the couch, 
level with Jack's shoulders, making Daniel slide home into the cradle 
of Jack's hips.

Jack's eyes were dark as he looked up at Daniel towering above him, 
feeling the weight of the other man across his lap. It sent a slow 
burn through him, like his veins were filled with touchpaper.

Daniel flexed his hands, testing Jack's strength. In response, 
fingers interlaced through his own as Jack pulled back on his hands 
more tightly. The possessive nature of the older man sent a shiver 
of desire through Daniel. Jack felt it and smiled darkly. At the 
look on Jack's face, Daniel licked his lips and then slowly lowered 
his head to kiss Jack. 

Unable to move, Jack had to allow Daniel to control their first kiss, 
and control it he did. With agonising skill Daniel brushed his lips 
against Jack. He captured Jack's lower lip between his own and 
swiped at it with his warm tongue. Jack surged against him, trying 
to deepen the kiss, but Daniel's arms locked and with a strength 
almost equal to Jack's own he held the older man in place. Jack 
became a captive to Daniel's swift kisses. The kisses became deeper 
and more bruising as the half-forgotten feeling of tasting another 
man returned to Daniel.

Again and again, his head dipped to feast on Jack's lips. Daniel 
could feel their mutual desire harden between their bodies and he 
smiled triumphantly against Jack.

"Jack," he murmured.

"God, Daniel," came back the breathless reply. Daniel sealed his 
lips over Jack's mouth and as Jack opened beneath him, their tongues 
met in a passionate battle. When breathing became difficult, Daniel 
broke them apart and began a detailed exploration of Jack's neck. 
Teeth delicately nipped at the stubbled skin causing Jack to arch his 
neck to allow Daniel better access.

With a groan Daniel snatched his hands free, to begin work on Jack's 
shirt. Jack's arms sprang up like steel bands to encircle Daniel's 
waist, pulling the younger man's groin into closer contact with his 
own. The action rewarded both of them with a groan of pleasure as 
heat and hardness clashed together.

Daniel's hands snaked under the open shirt to push it off Jack's 
shoulders. His mouth began an exploration of Jack's tanned skin, as 
he licked and nipped his way across one broad muscular shoulder.

"Daniel. You sure?" came the ragged question.

Daniel stopped and settled back on Jack's lap slightly, his blue eyes 
darkened with desire.

"Yes," came the simply reply. "You?"

Jack nodded. He needed this; they both did, to exorcise away the 
demons of the year. To remind themselves that someone still cared 
for them despite the losses that fate had handed them.

Daniel backed away to stand, holding out a hand to Jack. As the 
older man stood, Daniel's spare hand gently ran down Jack's firm 
chest in a rather possessive manner.

Jack caught Daniel's hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss the 
fingertips. The younger man gave him a knowing smile as Jack turned 
and led them towards the bedroom.


*


A few hours later Daniel woke to an empty bed. Frowning he stretched 
and then rolled to his feet to find Jack.

He did not have to hunt very far. Jack was standing at the window 
once more, dressed only in his shorts. Daniel yawned and padded down 
the couple of stairs into the living room.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Jack said without turning around.

Daniel made a dismissive noise and padded over to the drinks cabinet, 
snagging his glasses along the way. Blinking at the change in focus, 
he slowly poured two large Jack Daniels into crystal cut glasses. 
Walking over to where Jack stood, he handed one to the older man.

Jack smiled in thanks, and pulled Daniel's naked form closer to him, 
feeling the younger man's arm settle around his waist.

"Regrets?" Daniel asked quietly as they looked out onto a partying 
Colorado Springs.

Jack dropped a kiss on Daniel's hairline. "Yes, but not about 
tonight."

Daniel released a little sigh of relief. He and Jack had been good 
together. Very good together. The tangled sweaty sheets and the 
mild bruises and scratches on their skin were testament to that 
fact. 

"We all have regrets, Jack," Daniel said softly. "But we shouldn't 
dwell on them and let them own us."

Jack nodded at the wisdom of the sentiment. He raised his glass. "A 
toast then. To the year just gone and to the year to come. Let the 
good memories soften the bad ones."

Daniel raised his glass. He drink a toast to that.



* The End *