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Part Three

False Accusation
by
Lutra Cana
(07/23/2000)

PART FOUR

The office the partners and Karl were ushered into was slightly less utilitarian than their own captain's but still obviously belonged to a working police officer. Captain Kardel gestured for the trio to take seats as he settled down in the large chair behind the desk.

"I'd like to get right down to business. The department is very embarrassed by this whole mess, as I'm sure you both can understand." Kardel picked up a pencil and twirled it between his fingers. "To have a highly decorated officer such as yourself, Sergeant Starsky, treated with such disrespect and subjected to the treatment you were is a slap in the face to the whole force. I want to assure you that disciplinary action will be taken against both Cruthers and Inglehart. I've spoken to the Chief, and his office is drafting a formal letter of apology to you, and a copy will go into the case file." Kardel laid the pencil down on the desk blotter.

"On a personal note, I'm also very embarrassed by the actions of my detectives. I don't know Cruthers well enough to understand what's going on in his mind, but I do aim to find out. As for Inglehart, I know he's not been happy with his present partner, but it's still no excuse for his allowing Cruthers' harassment of you, Sergeant. He's the senior officer and has been in this department long enough to know my rules about treating suspects with dignity. I am putting a personal reprimand in their files and have half a notion to put them on traffic duty for the next few months." Starsky looked over at Hutch. Both of them smiled at the shared memory of Dobey's oft-repeated threats of the same punishment.

"Captain, I want to thank you on both my partner's and my behalf. Both Hutch and I have, uh--let's say--had personality conflicts with other officers before." Starsky ran a hand through his hair, mussing the curls even more. "I guess what's so strange this time is that your detectives seemed to take an instant dislike to both of us, and especially me, from the moment they met us. At first, I had no idea why but between what was said Thursday and then today that little mystery has been cleared up for me. I still don't know why either of them reacted that way from the beginning though."

"Yes, and I apologize for that. I've had reports of them, especially Cruthers, being rather abusive to people based on assumed sexual orientation before. I want to assure you that attitude is not departmental or my own policy. The last time something like this happened it was with a witness that filed a complaint against Cruthers, which is why this incident with you is so disturbing." Kardel pushed the pencil around the blotter for a moment, then continued. "I understand that the two of you are here on vacation; a well deserved one I know. Let me take a brief statement from you concerning this whole thing and you can get back to enjoying your time here." Pulling a pad of paper from under some files, Kardel picked up a pen and sat ready for Starsky's statement.

The next hour passed fairly quickly. Both Hutch and Starsky gave statements, which Kardel had his secretary type up. After the partners read and signed their statements, they were free to go. Kardel escorted the trio to the office door.

"Gentlemen, don't worry any more about Cruthers and Inglehart. They're both going to be far too busy to give you any more problems for a very long time. At least until you go home." Kardel grinned rather evilly prompting an answering grin from the partners. The captain extended his hand for a round of hand shaking. Karl and the partners left the captain's office with the knowledge that the department was on their side, and that the two Duluth detectives were in deep trouble with their supervisors.

The journey down to the car was a quiet one, as was the trip back to Hutch's parents' place. Starsky was just as happy that none of them felt like talking, because he was tired of the whole affair. He was also more than a little embarrassed by his reaction to Cruthers' taunting. Sitting in the front seat, watching the traffic go by, Starsky wondered at the reasons why he had felt such anger towards Cruthers. He knew that once he and Hutch made public the direction their partnership was taking there would be many people who would be as openly hostile to them. He could not beat the tar out of every one and Hutch would not always be around to stop him if he tried. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Starsky worried that maybe he was not having as easy a time accepting this change in his life as he had thought. That maybe being gay--being Hutch's lover--was not going to be as simple and as beautiful as he had planned. That maybe, just maybe, deep down he did not really want this whole life style after all.

Then a comforting hand rested on his shoulder and Starsky turned to look back at Hutch. The look, full of love, understanding, and promise his partner gave him drove all the doubts from Starsky's mind. Laying his hand on top of Hutch's, Starsky smiled and settled back into the seat confidant that while life might never be easy, it would always be good as long as he had Hutch.

~~~

The rest of the day was spent in finishing the last of the packing, loading the full boxes onto the transport truck and unloading them again into the storage unit. Richard had arrived home just before the truck did, and he drove the partners to the storage facility where the three of them made short work of organizing the unit.

Locking the door, Richard smiled at his son. "Well, that's it. If your mother and I aren't ready now, we never will be. Ken, don't let me forget to put the keys into the envelopes I'm leaving with Karl and your sister." Richard flung one arm around Hutch's shoulders and turned them both towards the waiting car. He surprised Starsky by putting his other arm around him. "Come on, boys. Let's go home and get cleaned up before the rest of the family comes over for dinner. I'm really looking forward to this evening, Ken. Both your mother and I have been excited at this chance to get to know your partner a bit better."

Starsky and Hutch exchanged glances. Starsky could read the thought in his partner's face as clearly as if he had said it out loud. Both of them were wondering just how much Hutch's father would really enjoy knowing more about both of the partners and exactly what their partnership included.

~~~

Dinner itself was a simple affair. Mashed potatoes and gravy, three different kinds of vegetables plus a large salad. The best thing, in Starsky's opinion, was the huge roast of beef that was to grace the center of the table. After they came back from the storage center, Starsky had wandered into the kitchen to get a drink of water and see if he could snag something to tide him over until dinner. Helen was in the process of taking the roast from the oven to turn it when Starsky walked in.

Seeing the look of delight that crossed Starsky's face, Helen cut a small piece off for him. "Here, I hate to see a growing boy go hungry, especially when he's drooling all over my clean floor. Do you think this roast will keep you and Ken in sandwiches for a few days after Richard and I leave tomorrow?" She laughed at Starsky's eager nod and shooed him out of her kitchen.

At loose ends with the packing done and dinner still a couple hours away, Starsky went looking for his partner. Wandering through the house on his search took him to rooms he had not seen yet. Off the kitchen, he found the dining room ready for the evening with Irish linen on the oval oak table with place settings for eight. Starsky admired the fine china and good crystal, vowing to himself that he would be extra careful not to spill anything at dinner. Leaving the dining room, he next looked in the library where he lost himself in scanning the shelves, leafing through books, and looking at the family pictures intermixed with the leather bound volumes. Starsky smiled when he found a picture of what had to be a young Kenneth in overalls, hanging on to a pumpkin almost as big as he was with a older man holding the pumpkin's stem.

"That's me and my grandfather when I was about seven." Hutch spoke softly behind him. Turning, Starsky was surprised to realize that his partner was standing so close. Hutch held out his hand and Starsky gave him the picture.

"We planted the pumpkins together that year and Granddad told me I was responsible for taking care of them. Every day after school in the spring and twice a day in the summer I'd go out to the garden and make sure they were watered and pulled up any weeds that dared to spring up overnight. This was the best one I grew, must have weighed almost thirty pounds. We entered it in the Fall Fair and won fourth prize." Hutch stroked the frame with his thumb. "There were times over the years that I felt like Granddad was the only person who understood me." He looked up into Starsky's eyes. "At least that's how it felt until the day I met you, Starsk."

Starsky cupped Hutch's cheek in one hand. "I wish I could have known your grandfather, Hutch. He sounds like a really good person."

Hutch pressed into Starsky's palm. "Yeah, he was the best. He'd have liked you, too. Granddad had this way of seeing into people and drawing out the best in them. He loved me, Starsk. Loved me for me, not what he wanted me to be but for what I already was. That's a rare quality. The only other person I've ever known like that is you. Guess that's why I love you so much, because you don't expect me to be anyone else but who I already am."

"Why would I want you to be anyone else? You're perfect just like you are now. A little weird, but that only makes you interesting." Starsky grinned at the way Hutch's ears reddened and he had to fight down the desire to pull his partner into a ravishing kiss. The hall door was open and who knew who might happen to wander by at any moment. He settled for patting the fair cheek, rubbing his fingers along Hutch's jaw before dropping his hand.

Shaking his head, Hutch put the picture back on the shelf. "I came looking for you to tell you to get ready for dinner. Mom said that everyone is coming around six and it's almost five thirty now. I'm finished upstairs and I'm going to go help Mom get things ready so you have the bathroom all to yourself."

Starsky realized that Hutch had changed out of his dirty jeans and shirt and into a pair of dress pants, white shirt, and a pure blue sweater. The sweater was one that Starsky had given him the Christmas before and it played up the color of Hutch's eyes and made his pale hair seem even more golden than usual. Starsky looked down at his own dirty clothes and smiled ruefully at Hutch. "Guess I should get cleaned up, hey? Although nothing I put on is going to make me look half as good as you do." Starsky reached out and put his hand on Hutch's waist. "Actually, dinner isn't going to be half as appetizing as you are. God, babe, you look good enough to eat."

"Stop flirting and go get cleaned up." Playfully putting on a disdainful air, Hutch looked down his nose at Starsky. "Besides, you're all dirty and sweaty and I don't want my clothes mussed."

"I'll muss you, hotshot. Just wait until later when we're alone and I'll show you mussed." Starsky patted Hutch's side and ducked the hand that swung gently at his head. "I'll be back down before you know it. Just remember where we were for later, okay partner?" Whistling nonchalantly, Starsky went upstairs leaving a rather flustered Hutch in his wake.

~~~

The meal tasted every bit as good as it had looked in the preparation stages. In spite of his nervousness over what was coming later, Starsky enjoyed the food, the excellent wine, and his partner's family. Helen was sitting to his right with Katie to his left and next to her, Karl, with Richard sitting at the head of the table, his son beside him, Liv next and lastly Dennis to Helen's right. The conversations around the table varied from stories of the Hutchinson children's childhoods to news about family and friends. Helen asked Starsky questions about his childhood in New York and that developed into a discussion about family traditions and how they differed between the WASP mid-west and Jewish New York. Hutch and Starsky exchanged amused glances often during the meal, but even those loving looks did little to reduce Starsky's anxiety.

"Well, why don't you children help me clear the table while Richard goes and lights the fire in the living room. We'll have dessert and coffee in there." Helen pushed her chair back from the table and all the men stood with her.

Smiling at Katie, Starsky collected her plate and silverware as Hutch picked up the roast platter. Starsky hoped that no one knew how nervous he was. Hutch and he had agreed that once the family was mellow on dessert and the good brandy that was sure to follow that they would make their announcement. The thought of standing up in front of all of Hutch's closest family and revealing the secret that Starsky and his partner shared scared him half to death. That fear made even the simple task of carrying dirty dishes into the kitchen deeply significant. Starsky hoped that this was not the last normal thing he would be allowed to do in this house after the evening was through.

Hutch scraped dishes and handed them to his mother to put into the dishwasher as Starsky ferried more in from the dining room. Katie busied herself putting the leftovers into storage containers as Dennis supervised. Richard and Karl had disappeared into the living room and Liv was on the phone with Rickie who was babysitting Katie's children. The cheerful atmosphere in the kitchen was only momentarily interrupted by the doorbell, but Richard's "I'll get it," restored it again. At least until the first sounds of voices raised in anger drifted down the hallway.

"Stay here." Hutch ordered his mother and sister as he, Starsky, and Dennis headed for the front door. As they got closer, the partners looked at each other as the voices became recognizable.

"Get out of my way, Hutchinson. I told you I want to see that fag partner of your son's." Cruthers stood swaying slightly in the doorway barred by a tense looking Richard. Karl stood behind his brother-in-law, his jaw set.

"Go home, Detective. You're drunk and you have no business being here." Richard was not budging an inch.

"I've every business being here. Because of that queer Jew, I've been told to look for work elsewhere or face a reduction in rank. No way in hell am I going to walk a beat again because of that limp-wristed little fag." Cruthers' words slurred as he tried to get past Richard's long arm.

"That's not our concern, Cruthers. Now get out of here before you do something that we'll all regret."

Starsky shivered at the tone in Richard's voice. It was one that Starsky knew well having heard it many times in Hutch's voice when he was especially angry. Starsky hoped Cruthers would realize what trouble he was courting and leave without pushing things further.

"Listen, Hutchinson. Others in this town may be scared of you, but you don't impress me none." Cruthers looked past Richard's shoulder, "I see you, Starsky. Don't think you can hide behind these good upstanding citizens, you little queer. Come out and face me like a man, even if you aren't one." Hutch grabbed Starsky's arm when he made to answer Cruthers' dare.

"Don't, Starsk. The guy's drunk." Hutch sounded amazingly calm, but Starsky knew that his partner was every bit as angry as Starsky was.

"Yeah, let your 'partner' hang on to you. Bet you like him hanging on to you." Cruthers sneered and tried to push past Richard again.

"Cruthers, go home now and I won't report this to Captain Kardel." Even Starsky could tell that Richard was rapidly losing patience with the drunk on his doorstep.

Cruthers pointed a shaking finger at Starsky but spat the words into Richard's face. "That fag kike cost me my job and he's going to pay for it." He pushed against Richard's unyielding body, trying to get past.

Starsky never could explain exactly what happened next. The sound of tires screeching to a halt outside accompanied by a shout played background to the gasps in the hallway as Richard pulled himself upright. "No one says something like that about my son." His voice was cold and his right fist fast as he punched a startled looking Cruthers in the face. The man stumbled back off the stairs and into Inglehart's arms.

Hutch was the first to reach the doorway. He gently moved his father back from the door and stepped out onto the landing. Starsky was right behind him. Hutch looked down the stairs at the two other policemen. "Inglehart." The one word asked many questions.

Inglehart, arms locked around a moaning and bleeding Cruthers, looked up at Hutch. "He'll be all right. I figured he was going to do something stupid after Kardel got though with us, but I never expected him to do this." Inglehart looked past Hutch to Richard. "I'm sorry about this, Mr. Hutchinson. I'll take him home and try to sober him up." He sighed, looking at the bleeding man in his grasp. "Although I should probably take him to the hospital first, but if I do that, it'll go on his record for sure."

"The bastard broke my nose." Cruthers' slurring voice was not helped by the nasal quality of an almost assuredly broken nose.

"Cruthers, shut up. You've done enough damage for one week." Inglehart shook Cruthers by the back of the neck. Looking imploringly at Richard he asked, "Is there any way I can persuade you not to say anything about this to our Captain? Cruthers is in enough trouble as it is, and this kind of thing might just get him tossed into the clink for the night."

Starsky looked over his shoulder at Richard. Karl stood beside Richard, a grim look on his face. Dennis hovered, one hand on Richard's shoulder. Richard glanced from Hutch to Karl, then at the two standing on the path. "I should lay charges against him--he tried to force his way into my house, threatened a member of my family, and was verbally abusive to me. Karl, what do you think I should do?"

"It's up to you, Richard, but I'd say let Inglehart take the man out of here. We've got enough witnesses to support us if Cruthers tries to make an issue out of you striking him." Karl gave Inglehart a measured look. "I'm sure Inglehart will do what needs to be done to prevent a repeat of this little performance."

Inglehart grasped Cruthers arm roughly. "Yes, sir, you can be assured that Cruthers won't be any more trouble. I'll see to it myself. Thank you." He turned Cruthers toward the car at the curb with its motor still running. "Mr. Hutchinson, I apologize on behalf of my partner and myself and assure you that he won't bother any of you again. I'll send someone around for his car."

The five men watched as Inglehart practically stuffed Cruthers into the front seat of the car and snapped the seatbelt tight. Slamming the door, Inglehart went around to the driver's side, slammed that door too, and took off with a little more speed than was necessary.

Richard was the first to speak. "Well, I don't know about you boys, but I sure as hell need a drink after that." They all turned to look at him and he grinned ruefully at them. "It's been a long time since I punched anyone in the nose. Now I remember why. My hand really hurts." He held up his hand and examined it. "I think I'm going to have bruises. Damn."

Starsky could not help grinning, remembering a few times when he had hit someone with his fist and suffered for it afterwards. "Try some ice, that usually works for me," Starsky consoled.

The five went back into the house to face the women gathered in the hallway. Katie and Liv looked shocked, but Helen appeared scandalized.

"Richard Thorson Hutchinson, what were you thinking, hitting that fool like that?" Richard glanced back at the other men and mouthed "Help" as Helen grasped his arm and pulled him towards the kitchen, berating him along the way. Dennis grinned at his wife as he passed her, following his parents-in-law to the kitchen.

Karl laughed. "Well, I see my sister has matters well in hand. Shall we go and have a drink, gentlemen? And of course, gentlewomen? I, for one, am in dire need of something at the moment." Karl ushered the group into the living room where he oversaw the dispensing of alcohol, and other comforts to his family.

Starsky and Hutch ended up sitting beside each other on the smaller of the two couches in the room. Starsky wondered if his and his partner's announcement would not seem a little anti-climatic after all of this.

Dennis came back with a little smile for all and a hug for his wife. "How's Daddy?" Katie questioned him as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh, he's fine. Your mom's reading him the riot act and wouldn't let me look at Richard's hand. She said that it's just like the old days when your dad worked the docks and would come home bloody from some fight or other. Helen said she'd patch him up, feed him, and he'd be ready for another go 'round. Sometimes, my sweet, your mother simply amazes me." Katie giggled at the expression on her husband's face.

By the time Richard and Helen rejoined the group, everyone was feeling more relaxed, with the exception of Starsky and Hutch. Starsky knew that his partner was as tense as a tightly strung guitar string by the way Hutch kept running one-handed scales on his knee and by the tight set of his jaw. Feeling a little queasy, Starsky tried to calm himself with too big of a sip of brandy, which only made him cough. Hutch looked at him in affectionate disgust and patted Starsky's back until the coughing subsided.

Starsky smiled grimly at his partner when Richard and Helen walked into the living room. This was it; the next few minutes could mean the end of any kind of relationship for Hutch and his parents. Starsky had never been more scared in his life. Not even facing the gun aimed at him one cool Spring day was half as frightening as the prospect of facing these people he had come to admire and--yes--even love and tell them that he was boffing their golden child. For just a brief moment, Starsky wished that he had never acted upon his desires for Hutch.

Then Hutch looked at him, smiled that soft, sweet smile that turned Starsky's insides to mush and suddenly it did not matter if they were booted out into the street. Hutch loved him--David M. Starsky--sitting here in his second-best pair of slacks and a slightly snagged red sweater. If Hutch could love him in spite of everything that Hutch stood to lose, then Starsky could be brave and stand beside his love to face whatever was going to come.

Helen had arrived in the room carrying a tray loaded with cookies and small pastries. Richard followed her, looking slightly abashed and sporting a white bandage wrapped around his hand. Helen placed the tray down on the coffee table in front of Starsky and smiled at her son and his companion. "I thought that we'd forgo the coffee in light of the 'little incident' and just bring in some things that go nicely with drinks that I for one really could use."

Hutch almost leapt off the couch. "Let me get you something, Mom. What would you like?"

"Some of your father's good brandy, dear. We'll start with that and see how that does." Helen smiled at Hutch and sat down beside her husband on the larger couch. Liv and Karl had commandeered the chair near the fire, Liv sitting in the chair and Karl half on the large arm. Katie and Dennis curled up together in the other chair, Katie in Dennis' lap, both looking young and very much in love. Watching these people, with all their blonde, blue-eyed good looks, except for Dennis' equally handsome darkness, Starsky felt alien. He had not felt so out of place since his first days in California as a boy. Starsky felt rather like the ugly duckling trying to hang out with the swans--or was that ducks? He never could keep those stories straight.

Sighing to himself, Starsky watched his partner wait on his parents. Helen smiled up at Hutch as he handed her a brandy snifter. She held his hand for a moment after taking the glass from it, then pulled him down to lay a kiss on his cheek. Hutch's ears reddened, a sure sign of strong emotion. Helen laughed lightly and let him go. He moved on to his father, bringing him a snifter of his own. Richard also smiled up at his son and murmured something that Starsky did not catch. These people all looked so good together, so right. Starsky felt as if he were forcing his way into something he did not quite understand and again felt the uneasiness of fear and nervousness.

Hutch came back to Starsky and stood looking down at him for a minute. Then Hutch smiled, a brave little one that did nothing to hide the apprehension in those pale blue eyes. "Well, partner?" Hutch's voice was too low for anyone but Starsky to hear. "Shall we?" Hutch held out his hand. Starsky looked at it for a moment, thinking that they could say nothing and no one would get mad, hurt, or disinherited. But that was the coward's way out and neither of them were ever cowards when it came to the really important stuff. Important stuff like each other.

"No time like the present, partner." Starsky stood and took Hutch's hand, squeezed it hard then let go. Carefully avoiding the table there, the pair walked to the center of the room and, standing shoulder-to-shoulder faced the family grouped around the crackling fire.

Hutch cleared his throat, a sound that turned every eye in the room to him. "Mom, Da...ad, I--we--have something we need to tell you. Tell all of you." Starsky, hearing the stammer in Hutch's voice, stepped a little closer to his partner and laid his hand against Hutch's back.

Richard lowered his glass, setting it on his knee as he looked at his son with polite interest. "What is it, Ken?"

Hutch looked at Starsky who smiled reassuringly. "I'm not exactly sure how to say this so I guess I'll just come right out and tell you. Starsky and I...well, we're...for a long time now, we've felt.... Oh, damn." Hutch ran a shaking hand through his hair leaving it every which way. "Starsky and I are lovers and when we get back to LA, we're going to move in together."

Helen's smile was gentle. "We've been wondering why you two kept separate places. Seemed rather silly to us." She took a sip from her glass, watching her son over the edge of it.

Starsky felt his mouth drop open. He turned to stare at Hutch who looked just as flabbergasted as Starsky felt. Hutch swallowed several times, his face suddenly pale after the red blush that had suffused the fair cheeks only moments before. "You wondered? How, what.... I don't understand." Hutch stumbled, his voice shaking.

Starsky decided to take a stab at it. "Helen, are you saying that you knew that Hutch and I are lovers? And it doesn't bother you? Not even a little?" He felt the need to sit down, but none of the unoccupied chairs were close enough so he made do with leaning against Hutch.

"Of course, dear. We've suspected for a very long time and then after you were hurt last year, we were sure of it. As for it bothering us, I must admit at first we were somewhat upset by the idea, but we all know how much you mean to our son and his happiness has always been our main concern." Helen took another sip of her brandy, her eyes kind as she watched the partners.

Hutch leaned harder against Starsky and for a moment Starsky thought his friend was about to faint. Starsky sincerely hoped that Hutch would not because Starsky was not so sure that he was not about to himself. Slipping his arm around Hutch, Starsky gripped the blue sweater and tried to make sense of this sudden change of events. "You'll have to excuse me for being so dense, Helen, but I'm really confused. Why would you think we were lovers in the first place?" Starsky glanced over at Katie and Dennis, feeling heartened by the supportive looks they gave him. Starsky could just see Karl and Liv, but could not make out their expressions without turning around and at that moment he felt that Hutch needed him to stand very still so Hutch would have something to hold him up.

Richard answered Starsky's question, "Actually, we figured it out a long time ago, David. Ken's letters home were always full of mentions of you and the things the two of you did together. He very rarely wrote about anyone else except for a few people you worked with, but almost every line was either about you or about the two of you. Over time, the tone of them changed. You went from being just a friend he talked about to the most important thing in his life. It would have taken someone a lot more obtuse than Helen and I to realize that he loved you a great deal."

Starsky was not sure how to read the look on Richard's face; it was too much like the unfathomable one Hutch wore when he was really disturbed about something. "I thought you'd be upset by this...uh...by Hutch and I being...." Starsky looked to Hutch for help, suddenly at a loss on how to handle all this calm acceptance. He had been expecting anger, expecting bitter recriminations and condemnation. Helen and Richard's almost flip attitude was definitely not what Starsky had been prepared for.

Hutch was staring at his parents as if he had never seen them before. Starsky rubbed his hand against his partner's tense back and that seemed to break Hutch's trance. Shaking himself Hutch moved away from Starsky. Walking to the large couch, Hutch almost collapsed as he folded his long legs to sit on the coffee table in front of his mother and father. Starsky was afraid to move, afraid to break whatever spell was over this room, so he remained as still as he could in the middle of the floor--alone.

"Why? Why are you being so understanding about this? Not that I'm not grateful, but it just doesn't seem logical that you'd so easily accept that I'm gay. I mean, you've never accepted anything else I ever did without a fight, why this, why now?"

Helen and Richard exchanged long glances, then Helen tilted her head giving her husband a look that clearly said, "go ahead." Richard smiled grimly and looked back at his son sitting in front of him.

"Ken, when you were a boy, I had these dreams for you. Plans that I'd made when you were still in the cradle of you being so much more than I ever could be. When you started to change from the compliant little child that I loved into a rebellious teenager, then into a stubborn adult, I felt that you were being ungrateful for all the sacrifices your mother and I had made for you and your sister. I know that I did and said things--terrible things--that hurt you. For that, I'm more sorry than you'll ever know." Richard dropped his eyes to look down into the brandy snifter still resting on his knee.

"I guess it takes some of us longer to grow up than others. Sometimes it takes almost losing something you love to make you understand just how much you loved it for itself. When you moved away, after...well, after...I was so angry that I couldn't see how much my stupid pride had hurt you. How much it hurt your mother and your sister because it kept you away from them. Then one day you phoned and told me that you loved me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? My son, the son I'd practically thrown out of my home and my life, phoning me from across country to tell an angry, bitter, stupid old man that he was loved. And all because my son had almost lost the one person he loved more than anything." Richard looked up at Starsky who had forgotten how to breathe listening to the older man bare his soul.

"It was all because Ken loved you so much, David, that he called me that day. It was right after you had been poisoned and almost died. Ken was crying on the phone to me, telling me that he needed to tell me that he loved me because he'd learned how fast someone could be suddenly gone. It wasn't until later, when I called your captain that I learned the whole story, learned that those people had planned to kill both of you and it was only the luck of the draw that they'd picked you first." Richard swallowed and Helen laid her hand on his shoulder.

"I guess I never thought about it before--never allowed myself to think about it--that Ken could die doing the work he was doing. All I had ever thought about was that he was defying me by being a police officer. That he'd thrown everything I'd worked for back in my face by joining the force. Over the years since that phone call, I came to realize that what Ken and you are doing is far more important than anything I ever did and I'm damn proud of both of you."

Handing Helen his glass, Richard reached out and grasped his startled son's hand. "Ken, I've been a stubborn, foolish person all these years, never telling you the things you really needed to hear. I'm proud of you, proud of what you do. I'm happy that you're happy. If David is the person that gives you that, then that's what I want--what your whole family wants--for you. Labels mean nothing. I need you to know that I love and respect you, my son, and I always will."

Starsky felt his eyes tear as he watched father and child stand and wrap their arms around each other. If his life had only been to bring these two people together, then Starsky felt he had lived well.

~~~

Fortified with a fresh brandy and Hutch by his side, Starsky sat on the small couch trying to figure out what had just happened. The transition from absolute terror to confused relief was a hard one to take. The family almost ignored the two men, for which Starsky was very grateful. It gave him a chance to calm down.

Richard and Karl were discussing something to do with land acquisitions and parks, while the women and Dennis were carrying on a conversation about the Hutchinson grandchildren. Starsky watched in silent wonder, coming to terms with the idea that these people considered him part of their family and had for a long time. That thought made him feel warm all over.

"Starsk?" Hutch's quiet voice brought Starsky's attention back to his main reason for his feelings of belonging. He looked into the eyes of the person he loved and felt happier than he could remember.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

"Oh, yeah. You?" He wanted to reach out to touch Hutch's cheek, stroke back the errant lock of hair that had fallen down over Hutch's brows, but restrained himself. No matter how accepting Hutch's family was of all the connotations of Starsky and Hutch's relationship, Starsky still felt shy about expressing that part of him in front of them. Instead, he settled for a brief pat on Hutch's knee.

"A little shell-shocked, I guess." Hutch kept his words low and meant only for Starsky's ears. "I'm not much of a detective, though." He laughed a little disparagingly. "They were dropping hints right, left, and center about how they thought of us and I never picked up on any of them." Hutch shook his head and grinned at Starsky.

Starsky stole a look at Richard then looked back at Hutch. "Me neither. I've been sitting here thinking about the last couple of days and things that your parents said. I mean, I knew that Dennis knew about us, at least he thought that before I came out and told him the truth, but I honestly didn't think your parents knew anything." He glanced over at Richard again. "It suddenly struck me that I wasn't listening very good."

"What do you mean? And why do you keep looking at Dad that way?" Hutch laid his hand on Starsky's leg to regain his attention. The smile that Hutch gave Starsky was quizzical, but had a quality to it that made Starsky's breath catch.

Matching gazes with those pale blue eyes, Starsky forgot what he was about to say for a minute. Forgot that he was sitting in a room full of people and miles away from home. For that moment he was back in Hutch's car reliving every emotion he had experienced when Hutch told him that he was loved. Then Hutch moved the hand on Starsky's leg, rubbing gently back and forth, and Starsky was back in the present. Starsky grinned into those knowing eyes.

"I got to thinking about what your dad said to Cruthers right before he socked him in the nose." Starsky chuckled a little evilly at the memory of Cruthers' startled expression as Richard's fist came towards him. "Cruthers had just made that crack about my religion and Richard said something along the lines of 'you can't say that about my son' and popped the bastard. Remember?" Starsky waited for Hutch's nod before he continued. "I thought--if I thought anything--that he was talking about you. I've been sitting here thinking, and now I know he meant me when he said that, not you. Your dad thinks of me as a son. Do you have any idea how good that makes me feel?"

Hutch's hand found Starsky's and held it fast. "Yeah, I already knew he was fond of you, but I never thought about what it really meant until now. That's one of the things that I meant by the hints they were dropping. When we all figured you were going to be arrested, Dad called the lawyer who handles all his personal business and had him come over. The four of us, Dad, Karl, Geoff--that's the lawyer--and me got together to plan strategies. You were upstairs still, and...well...at that moment I felt that we should figure out things without involving you." Hutch squeezed Starsky's hand tight and the pain in his partner's face surprised Starsky. "You still seemed so fragile, so vulnerable after that morning that I didn't want you having to think about worst case scenarios if you didn't have to. At least not right then."

Hutch's gaze wavered and he dropped his eyes. Starsky was sure that he had seen tears in his friend's eyes but did not want to embarrass him by reacting to it. After a moment, Hutch looked back up and smiled a faint little smile. "Karl told us that bail for you would be set very high because of the kind of charges that might be brought and the fact that you're from out of state. It wouldn't matter to the court that you're a cop; the only thing they'd see was that you'd be a flight risk. Dad knew that neither of us had the kind of cash to post bond on that kind of bail and he offered to loan us the money. He even said he'd mortgage the house if he had to."

Starsky felt a flush of amazement and gratitude. Here was an almost stranger who was willing to risk losing his home to bail out the friend of his son. Not many would do that and it was further proof that Richard thought of Starsky as more than just someone his son worked with.

"He was ready to do that? God, Hutch." Words failed him so Starsky settled for grinning like a fool. Hutch grinned right back and nodded.

"Yeah. He told me he couldn't let you sit in jail when he had the resources to prevent it. Geoff tried to talk him out of it, so did I, but he wouldn't listen." Hutch looked embarrassed when he realized how what he had said sounded. "I don't mean I didn't want you out, Starsk."

"I know." Starsky patted Hutch's knee again and let his hand rest there. "That must have been the conversation I heard when I came down. I honestly tried not to listen, but I couldn't help hearing some of what you and your dad were saying." It was his turn to feel embarrassed.

Hutch grinned good-naturedly. "I knew you were lurking on the stairs, buddy. And you mean the argument you overheard. It's okay; it wasn't a very heated one. I was trying to make Dad understand that you are my responsibility, not his, but he talked me down." Hutch glanced over at his father. "My dad can still surprise me at times. There were years there when I honestly thought he didn't like me much, didn't understand me at all. Boy, was I wrong. About a lot of things." Hutch's face had a sad, lonely look that cut Starsky to the bone.

Giving in to the impulse to touch his friend, Starsky reached up and gently pushed the lock of hair that had been bugging him back off of Hutch's forehead. Hutch turned his eyes back to Starsky's. "Hutch, none of us go through life without making mistakes or misreading the people who love us the most. Hell, look at us. We certainly have screwed up royally with each other a time or two. When you truly love someone, it's inevitable that there's going to be hurt feelings and misunderstandings, but if you really love them, you'll forgive them. And forgive yourself."

"How come I always forget how wise you are, my friend?" Hutch's smile was rueful.

"Hey, I come from a long line of wise people. We learn to hide it very young so as not to make you normal mortals feel inadequate." Starsky grinned at Hutch's laugh. Dropping his voice, Starsky continued, "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" Hutch stared at him and shrugged.

"Yeah, I think so. Probably about half as much as I love you."

"Nah, couldn't be possible." Starsky wished they were alone so he could give in to his desire to gather Hutch into his arms and kiss him until neither of them could breathe. A sudden change in the level of the background conversation woke Starsky just as he was reaching for his partner.

Both men smiled in flushed and embarrassed amusement as they realized what they had almost done in front of everyone. Starsky and Hutch stood as Karl and Liv did.

"Well, I guess we'd better be going," Karl said. "I've got a case on Monday that I need to prepare for, and you need to be getting some rest before you begin your great adventure." He hugged Helen, then turned towards Richard, and extended his hand. "You two have a great time. We expect at least a postcard a week and one good long letter a month." Both men smiled at each other and Starsky was struck once again by the work genes did in the way Richard's brow furrowed and Karl's eyes crinkled at the corners just like Hutch's did when he smiled.

Richard clasped Karl's hand, then pulled him into a one-armed hug. "Take care of things while we're gone, and keep an eye on these kids of mine. You never know what mischief they'll manage to get into without their parents around to run herd on them." Everyone laughed at Katie's disgusted "Dad!" The Lundstroms left in a flurry of good-byes and well wishes.

Dennis and Katie were the next to take their leave. "I won't see you tomorrow before you leave as I have rounds way too early in the morning." Dennis said as he hugged both of his parents-in-law. He said a few quiet words to Richard and held Helen for a few minutes. Starsky was quietly amused to see Dennis wipe at his eyes when he let his wife's mother go. "Uh, I'll think I'll go warm up the car." Dennis clapped Starsky on the shoulder as the doctor quickly left the room.

Katie leaned up against her father as she spoke to Hutch. "I'll bring the kids and Rickie over to say goodbye in the morning then I'll come back with the station wagon about eleven. The flight leaves after two, but with Mom and Dad having to take so much stuff along, we should try to get them there as early as possible."

"Good idea. I know how long customs can take, especially with such desperate looking customers as these two." Hutch grinned at his sister and parents as he put his arm around Helen's shoulder. Starsky loved the way the four of them looked together--all that blond hair and blue eyes made him slightly dizzy with the beauty of it. He quietly took his leave, wanting to allow the family their privacy.

~~~

Starsky was ready for bed by the time Hutch came upstairs. Showered and dressed in his favorite blue pajamas, Starsky sat on the edge of Hutch's bed thinking. He turned towards the door when Hutch opened it and smiled. "Hi, Katie and Dennis get off okay?"

"Yeah. How come you left?" Hutch kicked off his shoes and pulled the blue sweater off over his head, leaving his fine hair sticking up in static-charged tufts. He patted at the strands, but they resisted his attempts.

"Oh, I thought maybe you and your folks needed a few minutes alone. Besides, I'll be seeing everyone in the morning so I figured I'd just come up and get ready for bed before you got here to hog the bathroom. Starsky grinned at his partner. Why is it every time I look at him, he's more beautiful? Starsky's thought wandered through his mind as he watched Hutch undress. The shirt and pants quickly joined the sweater where it lay on the chair. Standing clad only in his undershorts, Hutch stood and smiled softly at Starsky.

"You planning on sitting there staring at me all night or are you going to get into bed? I'll only be a few minutes in the bathroom and then you can show me what you meant by that comment you made in the library earlier." Hutch's smile turned slightly lascivious.

Starsky did not move from his spot on top of the unturned down bed. "Uh, Hutch, I've been thinkin'." He swallowed hard when his voice cracked on the last word.

"That's never a good sign. What were you thinking?" Hutch stepped closer to the bed and ran his hand down the side of Starsky's head, ruffling the curls. Starsky leaned into the stroking for a moment then sat upright again. He tried not to notice the relative positions of his face and Hutch's groin, nor the quite obvious bulge under the white underwear at eye height.

Tearing his eyes away from where they'd been staring, Starsky looked up into Hutch's face. Oh, damn it anyway. "Thinkin'? I've been thinking that you've got a really nice family. That they all seem to love you and they even seem to love me because you do. We're awfully lucky, partner. Some people would never be able to accept the fact that we love each other the way we do. Some might even have told us to take a hike and don't look back." Starsky slowly stood, using the body so close to his to lean against on his ascent. "Been sittin' here thinking that I love you so much that sometimes I feel like I'm gonna go blind just looking at you, or die kissing you." He matched action to words and folded himself around his lover and kissing him until both of them had to gasp for air. Leaning his head against Hutch's chest, Starsky smiled at the rapid heartbeat he could hear beneath his ear. "Yeah, just like that. A person could die happy doing that."

Hutch wrapped his arms more tightly around Starsky. "I know, Starsk, I know. I find myself looking at you and wondering what the hell I did that was so wonderful to deserve you loving me. Even if we never did anything but go on like we've always been, I'd be happy simply because I know you love me. I've gotten awfully used to having your nice warm body cuddled up to me, though, and I know I wouldn't ever be able to sleep again if you weren't in bed with me."

Looking into Hutch's loving eyes, Starsky felt as if he had been given a wondrous gift. "You going to go get ready for bed there, boy? I've a few things in mind beside cuddling, ya know."

Hutch grinned back, "Oh, yeah? What you got in mind?"

"A little of this, a little of that. Nothing to scare the neighbors or your parents. But you just wait until your parents are gone and we're all alone in this big ol' house. I'll show you a trick or two. Matter of fact, you may just wish that they'd left a whole lot sooner." Grinning, Starsky reached up with both hands and pulled Hutch's face down for a long and languid kiss that left both of them flushed.

"Damn you, Starsk. You're going to kill me even before we do any of your 'a little of this' stuff, kissing me like that. I think I'd better go take a cold shower or you might not get the chance to show me any of your tricks. I'll disintegrate first." Hutch slapped Starsky affectionately on the rump as Hutch slipped around his partner and into the bathroom.

Grinning to himself, and wondering if maybe they could be really, really quiet, Starsky pulled down the covers on the bed and crawled in. He got out again and began to take off his pajamas, then thought better of it. It might be fun having Hutch undress him. Crawling back in the bed again, he tried to ignore the tantalizing sounds of Hutch and the running shower. Settling back against all the bed's pillows Starsky entertained himself with thoughts of a long lean body wrapped around him and the golden head leaning over him. And waited, most impatiently for the water to turn off.

~~~

Afternoon sunlight lay across the floor of the bedroom and dazzled against the mirror on the closet door. Starsky stood looking inside that closet, wondering what he should leave out to wear the rest of their stay and what he should pack away. The clothes he had worn the day before while shifting boxes around were grimy and he wondered if he should wash them before putting them in his suitcase. Maybe he should just go ahead and throw his dirty jeans and stuff in the washer. He hated the thought of putting clothes this filthy in with his clean ones. Besides, he had all ready washed their dirty sheets, what was one more load?

Picking up one of his clean shirts from where it had fallen to the closet floor, Starsky idly folded it, thinking of Hutch. Missing Hutch. C'mon babe. How long can it take to get your folks on that plane? Starsky looked at his watch. Only a couple of hours had gone by since Hutch piled his sister, their parents, and a ton of luggage into Katie's station wagon for the trip to the airport. Knowing he was being impatient did not help Starsky at all. He needed Hutch here, not waving goodbye to Richard and Helen.

Looking down at the shirt in his hands, Starsky realized he had twisted it around while thinking about Hutch. Tossing the now very crumbled shirt on the chair, Starsky felt drawn to the window and the light streaming through it. He stood with his forehead resting against an almost too warm windowpane and stared down at the yard below. The casement was open just enough to allow the gentle breeze that rustled the leaves on the large oak to find its way into the room and Starsky sniffed appreciatively at the smell of green growing things. Somewhere close a lawn mower rumbled, the scent of the fresh cut grass mixing with the bite of gasoline, but it was an enticing scent and Starsky filled his lungs with it.

The sound of a footfall in the hallway outside his door alerted Starsky to the return of his partner. Perversely, Starsky did not feel like turning around to watch Hutch come into the room; so he stayed where he was, dark hair shadowing his eyes as he watched a squirrel forage amongst the petunias planted around the base of the oak tree. He smiled to himself as a hand touched him on the shoulder and a gentle kiss brushed the nape of his neck.

"Hi, honey, I'm home." Hutch's teasing voice whispered in Starsky's ear, the warm breath tickling just a bit. Starsky loved the way Hutch's mouth felt as Starsky tipped his head to caress against the lips doing distracting things to his neck. Wanting more, Starsky turned enough so he could capture those lips with his own. Hutch sighed and gathered Starsky closer.

The kiss they shared started out soft and sweet, but quickly transformed into something closer to desperate. The quiet lovemaking they had shared the night before had only served to heighten Starsky's need for his mate until Starsky felt consumed by it. The taste of Hutch's lips, the way they felt against his own, heated Starsky's blood until he was overwhelmed by the pleasure of Hutch's body against his. Starsky's knees wanted to fail him--drop him to the floor and drag Hutch down with him. He wanted to take Hutch there, in the spill of light and warmth on the carpet, to bury himself in the golden flesh he knew was hidden beneath Hutch's jeans and cotton shirt. Become one with this creature he loved more than he ever thought he could love.

Hutch had his own agenda, though. Strong arms held Starsky in place, wrapping around him in a firm embrace, as Hutch's kiss became more urgent. Starsky heard himself moan against the onslaught but could not pull away from Hutch's lips or resist the tongue that worked its way into his willing mouth. He barely registered the backward movement as Hutch pushed against him. It was almost a shock when Starsky's leg bumped into the bedstead and a sound--mixed of equal parts surprise and need--escaped from him.

Knowing hands moved from where they had been stroking his back to start the process of undoing Starsky's shirt buttons. Hutch's lips released Starsky's and Hutch stepped back just far enough that he could see what his agile fingers were doing. Starsky held on to Hutch's waistband, his fingers bending the belt's leather in an attempt not to fall over backwards.

Watching Hutch's intense expression as the blond worked the shirt open, Starsky knew that he was grinning like a fool in anticipation. "Hey. You need a hand there, babe?" He teased as Hutch's fingers fumbled with one of the buttons and Hutch cursed lightly in frustration.

Hutch looked up at Starsky's grin and frowned. "I'll let you know when I need your hand, my love. Now you just be quiet and let me work here."

"Oh, I love it when you get demanding." Starsky vamped, batting his eyelashes and speaking in a really bad falsetto. "You just let me know what you want, big boy."

Hutch growled deep in his throat, his frown deepening into a mock scowl, his hands clenching on Starsky's shirtfront. "Oh, I'll let you know what I want. First I want this..." he pulled Starsky closer and took his lips in a fierce kiss. "Then I want this..." Hutch moved down Starsky's face to his neck and nibbled the skin there, making Starsky squirm at the almost tickle. Raising his head, Hutch leered at the man in his arms. "But mostly I want this..." a firm but gentle hand wormed its way between the two bodies and latched on to Starsky's denim-confined erection.

Starsky gasped as the big hand blatantly stroked and fondled him. "Damn, Hutch. Stop that or you're going to be awfully disappointed." Starsky managed to grind out the few words while trying to regain some of his equilibrium. He sagged against the hand holding him, his knees truly failing him this time. Hutch caught the slumping body in time to keep Starsky from falling. Chuckling wickedly, Hutch removed his hand from Starsky's groin and placed it under Starsky's arm. "Hang on to me, buddy, I'm not finished with you yet." Kissing Starsky again, Hutch finished with the shirt buttons and slipped the shirt off of Starsky's shoulders.

It was only a matter of moments until Hutch had Starsky half-naked and dizzy with both desire and lack of air. A gentle push was all it took for Hutch to have Starsky flat on his back on the bed. Watching Hutch stare down at him, Starsky felt a bit dazed by the quicksilver change in his usually reserved partner. This was a totally new side to Hutch that Starsky had never suspected. The look on Hutch's face alone was foreign enough to worry Starsky just a little--a look of combined passion, wantonness, and an almost feral hunger. The way Hutch was staring at him reminded Starsky eerily of a big cat watching a cornered mouse, waiting for it to take a chance and make a break for freedom. Starsky had seen that once--the desperate little mouse bolting for cover and the cat languidly putting out a paw full of sheathed claws, catching its prey before it had gotten more than two steps away.

Swallowing, Starsky looked up into Hutch's face, hoping he would see something of his old, gentle partner. The lover he had come to know in their quiet and secret trysts. Instead, the eyes staring down at him were hooded, the pupils large and dark, the pale irises narrowed to thin bands. The skin over Hutch's cheeks looked flushed; his lips were red from the kisses he and Starsky had shared. Then Hutch moved--all liquid grace and fluid motion--to kneel over Starsky.

Knees on either side of the captive man beneath him, Hutch leaned forward and cupped Starsky's face between his hands. "Do you have any idea what wanting you is like? How I felt watching you across the kitchen table this morning as you laughed at that silly joke of Dad's and knew that in a few hours we'd be here, like this? To know that this was the first day we would be entirely alone with no one to bother us, no one to interrupt or need us? To know that finally, finally, you are mine and mine alone. Do you?" Hutch's hair fell around his face, casting shadows over the lean features, causing Starsky's breath to freeze in his lungs and his heart to falter in its rhythm. "Do you?"

Shaking his head slowly side to side, Starsky felt mesmerized by the raw need in the soft, silky words brushing against his skin. Felt overpowered by the naked desire radiating from the man crouched over him. Hutch's hands hypnotized Starsky as they stroked familiarly down the recumbent body on the bed. All Starsky could do was watch in a fog of his own desire as Hutch tilted his head to watch as his sure, musician's hands undid the buckle on the belt looped around Starsky's waist. As gentle and surprisingly steady fingers released the button and zipper holding the fly shut. All Starsky could do was try not to beg as his too long confined cock was rescued from its prison and set free.

Hutch glanced back up at Starsky's face when Starsky gasped as Hutch ran a fingertip down the shaft between them. "You like that?" Starsky shuddered and attempted to nod even though he felt as if his body was no longer under the control of his mind. "Good." Hutch's smile was scary and loving and sensual all at once. "How about this?" He continued to question Starsky as the fingertip was joined by its siblings and Hutch's hand closed around Starsky's cock, gently holding it. Starsky's hips bucked a little, pushing up into the warmth encasing the flesh that ached for something only Hutch could provide.

"Shh, my love. Be patient. We'll get to that in just a minute." Hutch soothed. Releasing Starsky, Hutch slid back down off of Starsky's legs and stood once again beside the bed. "First, we need to get rid of some of these encumbrances." Hutch slowly pulled Starsky's jeans down his legs and off, and dropped them on the floor. Starsky placed one foot flat on the mattress, letting the other leg dangle off the edge of the bed as Hutch began to take off his own clothes. Watching the slow, languid movements as Hutch removed his shirt, Starsky felt as if he had finally found the one thing that he might never survive--Hutch's need for him, Hutch's desire to lie down beside him and do things to Starsky's body that no one had ever even thought of doing. While Starsky desired the same thing with every cell in his body, he shivered a little in something close to fear.

It was all so new, so strange. It terrified him to be loved, to be needed so badly and to love and to need so badly in return.

Starsky needed to contain things just a little. To restrain his own emotions that threatened to overpower him and to gain some control over Hutch's as well. "Hutch?" Starsky rolled to his side and leaned on one elbow, holding back the moan that threatened to escape him when Hutch turned intense eyes on him as the blond calmly pushed his pants off lean hips and kicked them aside. "Hutch, I love you, ya know." The statement did not come out the way Starsky had meant it to. He had wanted it to be calming words, soothing words; an assertion that would make them both take a deep breath and look rationally at what they were doing. The simple vow had just the opposite effect on the man standing there.

Hutch grinned down at Starsky. The grin did nothing to reassure the man on the bed. For a brief moment, Starsky contemplated escape, to follow the example of the little mouse and run for cover. As if Hutch had read Starsky's mind, the blond was on him. Large, firm hands pushed down on Starsky's shoulders, Hutch's knees pressed against either side of Starsky's waist, holding him tight. Hutch leaned over Starsky; his face only inches away. "I know you love me, Starsk. It's the one constant in my life that I have always known. And I've always loved you, but never as much as I do at this moment." Hutch lowered his head and laid gentle lips against Starsky's.

Starsky wrapped his arms around Hutch as lips and tongue laid claim to his. Tongues waged a short-lived battle, each giving and taking in a dance that left Starsky's head spinning and both of them gasping as Hutch raised up just enough to release Starsky's mouth. Hutch stroked Starsky's face with one hand, playing with the dark curls around Starsky's ear, until the hand ended up cupped under Starsky's chin. "God, you're beautiful." Hutch whispered, dropping a tiny kiss on the chin in his hand.

Taking advantage of his partner's moment of inattention, Starsky twisted one leg around Hutch and flipped them both over so that Starsky was now on top. Laughing into Hutch's startled face, it was Starsky's turn to kiss and nibble his way over Hutch's lips and down the opaque skin to fasten on to Hutch's neck, nipping at the soft skin there. Hutch bucked up against Starsky, trying to dislodge the limpet holding him down. "No, no, my dear Hutch. It's my turn now."

"Starsky." Hutch tried to threaten but his voice held no hint of violence. Starsky shook his head, grinning, and returned to his oral survey of Hutch's throat. Long minutes passed until Starsky was satisfied that he had tortured Hutch long enough. Moving downward, Starsky licked at the smooth skin, marveling at how right it felt to do this to this most male of men. Flicking his tongue at a nipple, Starsky felt a small thrill of gloating as Hutch gasped. It was heady knowledge, this realization that he could do this to Hutch. To discover that it was in his power to make Hutch moan and whimper in want.

Starsky's gloating was his undoing, however, as Hutch once again gained the upper hand and flipped them over, resuming his former position straddling Starsky's waist. The grin Hutch gave Starsky was more than feral this time: it bordered on merciless. It was Starsky's turn to whimper as Hutch took him in a blinding kiss, then bit gently on Starsky's neck. The voice in his ear was gentle, but it was almost threatening. "Playtime's over, babe. Now we get serious."

Serious? What the hell does he call what we've been doing? Starsky would have asked the words out loud, but Hutch never gave him a chance. The hand that had so brazenly fondled him when he was fully dressed found its victim again and Starsky almost blacked out when all the blood in his brain seemed to rush to his groin. Arching up into the warmth that held him, Starsky let out a long, trembling moan and would have gleefully killed Hutch for his wicked laugh if only Starsky had the strength. Or been free of that oh-so-pleasurable hand doing things to him that made Starsky want to scream in delight and curse pleadingly.

"Damn, Hutch." Starsky was not sure he had even said the words aloud as Hutch's hand stroked and teased. But he knew that the sound he made as Hutch took the head of the captive cock into his mouth was vocal. And loud. "God, Hutch." Starsky shuddered as Hutch's tongue licked at the vein on the underside of Starsky's shaft, while Hutch's lips gently held Starsky.

Starsky needed to touch Hutch; needed to feel the soft, silky skin under his fingers. Reaching out, Starsky caressed Hutch's side--stroking shoulder, chest--everything he could reach. It was not enough. Finding Hutch's arm, Starsky pulled at Hutch until the blond looked up, letting go of Starsky. "Hutch, I'm so close. Ease up on me, babe. Please."

"But I don't want to ease up on you, my love. I want to love you until you're screaming. Love you until you can't take any more. Love you the way I've dreamed of loving you for far too long." Hutch crawled upwards until he could look down into Starsky's eyes. "I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved." Hutch lowered his head and kissed Starsky's mouth leaving no doubt that he meant exactly what he promised.

Starsky felt his resolve slipping and tried again to reason with his partner. Stroking Hutch's cheek with a not-too-steady hand, Starsky pleaded, "You're not letting me do what I want for you. You've got to be as hot as I am. Tell me what I can do for you, babe. Let me show you how much I love you, too."

Hutch sat up a little, not quite lowering all his weight on to Starsky, for which Starsky was very thankful. The other man was positioned so that Hutch's crotch was right over Starsky's. A pleasant enough sensation, but any more pressure and Starsky knew he would fall apart.

Hutch stared deeply into Starsky's eyes, so deep that Starsky felt as if his partner was inside of his mind. Hutch was silent for a moment and Starsky knew that the blond was planning something, Starsky was just not sure what Hutch was thinking now. He did wish that Hutch would hurry up, but also not move. Hutch had settled downwards a little more and his ass now brushed against Starsky's erection in an almost too agreeable way. Starsky was finding it hard to concentrate on not allowing his hips to move, to not think about allowing his cock to nestle into the inviting cleft hovering so close. Trying very hard not to give in to the urge to push upwards into the enticing body on top of him.

Hutch moved a little, his eyes widening as Starsky's far-too-happy erection prodded at the flesh of Hutch's backside. Hutch smiled knowingly down at Starsky, "So, partner--love of mine--what is it you want to do for me? Hmm?" Hutch leaned forward again, no longer making contact with Starsky's cock. "What do you think you can do for me?" Hutch kissed Starsky, using gentle nips from his lips and teasing licks of tongue to further drive Starsky to the edge of reason. Hutch released Starsky's mouth, and in a sudden move, dropped his ass down so that Starsky's erection was caught between the two men. "Tell me, Starsk. Tell me what you can do for me."

In a move that surprised Starsky every bit as much as it did Hutch, Starsky wrapped arms and legs around his partner and rolled over so that Hutch was on the bottom. The position was not very comfortable--Hutch's knees were at strange angles and his hips were raised awkwardly--but Starsky did not care. His cock was still between Hutch's ass cheeks and Starsky knew exactly what he wanted to do for Hutch--for them both.

Looking down into the startled blue eyes staring up at him, Starsky grinned. He was sure that his grin was every bit as wanton as Hutch's earlier smile had been and Starsky loved the feeling. "I'll tell you, buddy boy, what I want to do to you. I want to be inside of you, feel your body wrap itself around me and hold on tight. I want to take you and love you until you can't breathe, until you can't think, or hear, or see. I want to love you until neither of us can take any more and we come at the same time." Starsky dropped a kiss on Hutch's chin, the only part of Hutch's face that Starsky could reach without hurting himself or his partner. "That's what I want to do." He tilted his head, freed one hand, and stroked Hutch's sweaty hair off of the fair forehead.

"So, partner mine. How does that sound to you?" Starsky realized that he was holding his breath. Silently, he begged Hutch to say yes, to allow this one final test of trust and love. Begged with all his heart and soul.

Starsky stared into Hutch's eyes, trying to decipher the thoughts behind those beautiful eyes that Starsky knew he had loved since the day he met Hutch. For just a brief moment, Starsky felt scared, that maybe Hutch didn't want this as much as Starsky had thought. Then a slow, sensual smile grew on Hutch's face and the blond reached up an unsteady hand to lie against Starsky's head.

"God, I thought you'd never say it. I've wanted you physically inside me for so long. After all, you've been inside my heart for all of my life." Relaxing under Starsky's body, Hutch wrapped a leg around Starsky's hips and pulled him down. Their lips met again. Starsky did not know if it was the kiss that took his breath away or Hutch's desire, he simply enjoyed the feeling running through him thick and warm as heated honey.

With the promise of it lying between them now, the burning need to join with each other settled into comforting warmth as they lay in each others arms. Starsky gave himself to exploring Hutch's face and body with lips and hands. Hutch, in turn, ran loving caresses over every inch of Starsky that he could reach without releasing the gentle hold he maintained with his leg around Starsky's hips. Finally, Starsky pulled away from Hutch's lips and gazed into his partner's eyes.

"I want you so much, my love. Let me go for a minute." Starsky pushed up against Hutch's restraining leg, but Hutch would not let him go.

"Where you think you're going?" Hutch twined long fingers into Starsky's hair and pulled him down for another kiss. Starsky gave himself to the seduction of Hutch's lips against his own, almost purring as Hutch's hand stroked Starsky's hair then moved down his body again.

Starsky smiled against Hutch's mouth. "I need to go get something, but ya got to let me up." He murmured into the mouth under him, thinking that it was oddly exciting to breathe the same air as his partner.

"Only if you promise to come right back." Hutch whispered, his hands stilling in their investigation of Starsky's ass cheeks.

"Always. Now let me go, you big lug." Starsky dropped a quick kiss on Hutch's nose as the blond dropped his leg and released Starsky as he asked. Except Starsky did not immediately leave. He slowly worked his way off the bed and off Hutch, one lazy, teasing kiss at a time, until he reached Hutch's cock. Grinning at his partner, Starsky stopped there and caressed the erection, eliciting a drawn-out moan from Hutch. "Hmm, maybe I'll just stay here and forget about the other for a minute." Starsky lowered his head until his lips barely touched the warm flesh. "Or two." He took as much of Hutch's length into his mouth as he could without choking and licked at it with gentle strokes of his tongue.

Up to this point in their lovemaking, Starsky had only touched his partner's cock with hands and gentle fingers. In his life, Starsky had never touched a man's erection with his mouth and he prayed that he knew what he was doing. Remembering how it felt when Hutch had taken him into his mouth, Starsky tried to duplicate what he had experienced, but was afraid he would fall far short.

"God, babe." Hutch's moan and the way his whole body trembled reassured Starsky that even if he did not know what he was doing, Hutch was certainly appreciative of the effort. Settling down to the task of pleasing his partner, Starsky was surprised to discover that the act was as tantalizing to him as it was to Hutch. Listening to the moans and little hisses that Hutch made caused Starsky's own erection to respond and Starsky had to pull back from what he was doing or he would have climaxed right then. And that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Gasping, Hutch rolled over on to his side and reached down a shaking hand to touch Starsky's head where it rested against Hutch's leg. "I sure hope you don't plan on leaving me like this, Starsk. I'd have to kill you for it, when I can see straight again that is." Hutch's fingers stroked gently through Starsky's hair, reaffirming Starsky's knowledge that Hutch really would not hurt him for any transgression, not even this one.

"Had to stop, I didn't want to get there without ya." Starsky lifted his head, regretting that it meant that Hutch's hand lost its place in the dark curls. "I'll be back. Don't go anywhere." Starsky managed to grin up at Hutch, the grin widening when Starsky saw the condition his usually composed partner was in. Patting Hutch's flank, Starsky crawled the rest of the way off the bed and amazed himself when his legs managed not to tremble as he walked to the bathroom.

Hunting out his shaving kit, Starsky emptied out the little bag and found what he was looking for. Grabbing up a couple of towels, he returned to the bedroom, stopping for a moment in the doorway to admire the scene before him. Hutch had shifted around until he lay lengthways down the center of the bed and arranged the pillows into a pile beneath his blond head. The nearest leg, bent at the knee, barely hid Hutch's still prominent erection from view. The smile on Hutch's face was teasing and sensual, soft and loving all at once. Starsky swallowed hard and tried not to also swallow his tongue in the process.

"Well, are you going to stand there all day or are you coming back to bed?" Hutch leered at the mesmerized man, causing Starsky to shiver in response.

Slowly, oh so slowly, Starsky came to Hutch. The strut he used was one that he knew made Hutch crazy. It was the same one Starsky always used when he wanted to show off or make someone, usually Hutch, angry. But this time there was no such pretension in it. Starsky meant it to be sensual--provocative. Meant it to rattle Hutch, drive him a little mad and by the look on Hutch's face, it worked like a charm.

Maybe it worked just a little too well. Starsky barely had time to realize that he might have gone too far when Hutch surged up and grabbed Starsky by the arms when he stopped beside the bed. Towels and the small tube from the kit flew one way and Starsky the other as Hutch pulled Starsky down on the bed.

Covering his surprised victim with his body, Hutch smirked almost malevolently down at him. "Did anyone ever tell you that you are a cock-tease, my dear partner?" Hutch did not give Starsky a chance to answer as Hutch bent down to kiss his lover hard enough and long enough to make Starsky see stars. Panting, Hutch eased up on his quarry. "So, is this thing all for show or do you plan on doing something with it?" Hutch's hand on Starsky's painfully tense erection left no doubt in Starsky's mind to what the blond was referring to.

Growling deep in his throat, Starsky grabbed Hutch by the hair and pulled him back down into a kiss. The two struggled for domination for a few moments until Starsky managed to get the upper hand by the rather sneaky method of biting Hutch hard on the neck. Hutch let out a yelp of surprise and released Starsky. "What was that for?" He slapped a hand on the bite, which gave Starsky his chance.

"For this," Starsky grinned and pushed up on Hutch, making the taller man fall backwards on to his butt. "And this," Starsky swarmed up on top of Hutch, forcing Hutch on to his back. "Now, we can do this a number of different ways, but from what I've read, the best way the first time is with this," Starsky patted the part of Hutch's ass he could reach, "in the air."

Hutch shook his head, sweaty tendrils of fine blond air sticking to his forehead, "Only you would research something like this. What'd you do, go to the library and ask at the information desk for books on how to have sex with your male partner?" Hutch's cocked eyebrow took any censure out of his teasing.

Starsky grinned maliciously at his beleaguered mate. "Something like that. Now, are you goin' shut up and turn over or should I just go and take a cold shower?"

With a long-suffering sigh, Hutch twisted under Starsky, "If you would move, I could turn over, you twit." Starsky complied, watching closely to make sure that Hutch did not try something else. Soon Hutch was on his stomach, long legs stretched out beside Starsky.

Patting Hutch on the backside again, Starsky reached for the tube of lubricant that had fallen beside the pillows when Hutch had pulled his sneak attack. Hutch looked over one shoulder at his partner. "What is it with you and my butt, Starsk? You keep patting me like I'm a fidgety horse or something."

Sitting back on his heels, Starsky tilted his head, giving the long lean body a good look. "Hmm, now there's a question and a half. What is it with me and your butt? Well, let's see," Starsky laid a hand on Hutch's ass, rubbing gently at the smooth surface. "It's beautiful for one thing. So soft and just enough flesh here that I won't hurt myself on it. Nothin' I hate more than a bony butt."

Hutch's skin twitched as Starsky's fingers moved sinuously over the sensitive area. "Starsky...." There was a hint of warning and more than a hint of need as Hutch wiggled under the questing fingers.

"Hush," Starsky lightly slapped Hutch's ass. "You asked me a question and you always say you hate it when I don't answer ya, so let me think here." Starsky rubbed at the little red mark his palm had made on Hutch's fair skin. "Now see what you made me do, got it all pink when I like it white and creamy the way it usually is. See, that's another thing I like about your butt--it's such a lovely color, makes me think of vanilla ice cream, the real good kind." Starsky bent over Hutch and lapped at the skin under his hand. "Hmm, kinda tastes like vanilla ice cream too. Always figured you were good enough ta eat."

Hutch trembled under the onslaught of Starsky's tongue and lips against his ass, then lurched when Starsky's warm fingers moved from just below Hutch's waist to glide gently down the crack between the cheeks. "Whoa, there, Hutch. You could do serious damage to somebody, jerking around like that." Low and husky with desire, Starsky's voice sounded strange to his own ears.

"I'll do you serious damage if you don't stop screwing around and do what you said you wanted. C'mon, Starsk. I want you so bad I'm going to die here." Hutch grabbed at Starsky's leg, the only thing he could reach while being held down by his partner's body crosswise over him. "Please, buddy. I need you."

"I love it when you beg, Blondie. As for 'screwing around', I thought that was what you wanted me to do." Running teasing fingers further into the inviting warm space, Starsky found the soft skin of Hutch's anus. Chuckling evilly at the gasp that escaped from Hutch, Starsky concentrated on teasing the delicate area. "Like that, do ya, buddy boy? Well, hang on 'cause you're going to love this." Pulling away for a moment, Starsky moistened his fingers with the lubricant and quickly returned them to their task.

Easing his forefinger into the tight opening, Starsky waited out Hutch's body's instinctive attempt to block the invader's progress. "Shh, it's okay, Hutch," Starsky soothed as Hutch whimpered against the sudden pressure. "Take deep breaths and just let yourself get use to having me there." Gently circling, massaging the tight muscle, Starsky felt Hutch relax as he moaned and pushed back a little into the hand cupping him. Pushing in further, Starsky grinned to himself as Hutch let out a little gasp of pleasure, and pushed back even harder.

"Boy, you're an anxious one." Starsky removed his hand from Hutch's body, ignoring his partner's protest at the abandonment. "Spread your legs apart, Hutch, I want to get between them." Hutch complied, pulling a pillow under him at the same time to elevate his hips a bit more. "Good, now, I'm going ta put two fingers in there, so if it hurts or somethin', let me know." Starsky added a little more gel to his fingers and gently inserted his index and second finger into the not quite so tight opening. "How's that?" Starsky leaned down and kissed the spot just above Hutch's tailbone, rubbing his nose against the little dimple there.

"You have no idea, Starsky." Hutch bucked up a little against the hand holding him so intimately. He turned his head so that he was looking at Starsky behind him. Locking eyes with Hutch, Starsky felt his heart thumping so loudly in his chest that he was surprised that Hutch was not protesting the noise. Hutch's smile was so wanton that Starsky's skin shivered in response. "Just knowing it's you in there makes me hungry for all of you. I'm ready, babe. Stop 'screwing around' and start screwing me." If Starsky had not have been trying so hard not to lose all sense of control he would have been able to laugh at Hutch's teasing.

Sitting back on his haunches, Starsky, faking a calm he in no way possessed, removed his hand from Hutch once more. Never taking his eyes away from looking deep into Hutch's, Starsky groped for a towel. Finding one, he wiped his hands on it and reached for the tube of lubricant again. Hutch twisted a bit more so that he could watch as Starsky thoroughly and deliberately coated his by now aching penis with the gel. "I think you might need another pillow, Hutch. We got ta remember your bad back."

"Yeah. Fine. Just hurry up." Hutch pushed another pillow under him, moaning as his tense erection brushed against the cotton pillowcase. Starsky had to close his eyes against the sight of Hutch's pale ivory ass flaunting itself in front of him. Starsky felt like a starving man who had suddenly been offered every delicacy in the world and told to help himself to all of it. Regaining control of his frayed resolve to be careful, Starsky opened his eyes again and crawled closer to Hutch.

There had been purpose behind Starsky's playing with Hutch, something he had learned during his encounters with all the women he had bedded over the years. The teasing, the flirting, the slow caresses and gentle foreplay helped to calm Starsky's own tearing need until he knew he would not give in to it and drive himself into the waiting body and selfishly satisfy only himself. The time Starsky had spent preparing Hutch--teasing him until the blond was practically begging for release--did not cool Starsky's own desire, it simply dampened it down a bit.

"Okay, Hutch. Now listen to me. If it hurts or you need me to stop, tell me. I want this to be as good as possible." Starsky eased Hutch's hips up a bit more so that they were on a level with Starsky's crotch. Pulling his partner back just a bit, Starsky stroked more of the gel around Hutch's anus, pushing some inside. Hutch tensed slightly then visibly forced himself to relax as Starsky's fingers stroked inside of the now moaning Hutch.

"C'mon, Starsk. Please, babe." Hutch's words were almost incoherent as Starsky prepared them both. Starsky took a deep breath, willing his body to behave and let his mind get them at least through the initial part of what was about to happen. Then, taking hold of one of Hutch's hips with one hand and his own aching cock in the other, he steadied himself against Hutch and pushed.

At first, Starsky thought that Hutch's body was not going to let him in--that natural instincts would take over and that would be that. But Hutch had other ideas. With a strangled noise that sounded to Starsky to be more of pain than passion, Hutch pushed his hips back. Both men let out groans--Starsky's deep and low, Hutch's a little higher pitched. Starsky held tight to his partner, not allowing him to move again as Starsky tried to regain some control.

"Wait...Hutch, just wait." Starsky was panting with the desire to thrust all of himself into the willing body beneath him, but the fear of hurting Hutch slowed Starsky.

Hutch wiggled against Starsky, driving Starsky's erection a little further in. "C'mon, just do it. God, Starsk, you have no idea...." Hutch's words deteriorated into whimpering moans as Starsky moved inward again. Then Hutch let out a sharp yell, and jerked under his partner.

Starsky, almost lost in the sensation of being inside Hutch, stopped. "Hutch...? God, I'm sorry, babe. Hold still, I'll...." Starsky started to move back, withdraw from the wonderful sanctuary his cock had found, but Hutch tightened down on him causing Starsky to moan in delight.

"No, don't.... That was...I don't have the words...just do it again." Gasping, Hutch slowly unclenched the muscles in his rectum. Starsky took a deep breath, and moved just a little in experimentation. As Hutch groaned again, Starsky realized what had happened. Rubbing against the head of his cock, he could feel a rounded something--he had been stimulating Hutch's prostate gland and it was obvious from Hutch's ecstatic reaction that he had no complaints.

Something let go in Starsky. The knowledge that he was bringing so much pleasure to the one person in the world that Starsky wanted to please freed him. With a shout of culmination, Starsky surged forward, totally impaling himself inside of his partner. Hutch's body accepted the intrusion with his own shout of gratification, muscles working to engulf and capture.

Soon the two of them were moving in sync, each taking from and giving pleasure to the other. Starsky's world shrunk down to the sensations of each stroke his body made into the welcoming embrace of Hutch's body. The sounds Hutch uttered as they struggled together sounded more like music to Starsky than anything he had ever heard his partner sing. Each gasp, each tiny squeeze of muscle around his flesh, each whisper of desire and love drove Starsky further until his body and mind overloaded. He never knew if he shouted Hutch's name or whispered it as they collapsed together with the strength of Starsky's climax. As he came, he felt the muscles of Hutch's body spasm around Starsky's cock and Starsky laughed in delight at the knowledge that he had done this to his partner...his mate. Together, they soared and fell, and soared again until both drifted away hanging on to each other to sleep wrapped in cherished arms.

~~~

They spent the rest of the day in bed. Between sleeping in each others' arms and indulging in lazy love play, the afternoon drifted away into evening. It was Starsky who climbed out of bed first leaving his lover with a lingering, promising kiss then wandered downstairs to find them something to eat. Dressed only in jeans, barefoot, more tired, and happier than he ever remembered being Starsky puttered around the kitchen making roast beef sandwiches and coffee for himself and his lover.

Whistling softly, Starsky thought about the man he had left upstairs trying to make some order out of the ruins of the once neatly made bed. Long ago, he and Hutch had crossed an invisible line from being simply friends to being committed partners in life. This new aspect of their relationship was simply another step along the path they had chosen the first day they met back in the Academy. Little had they known that a friendly handshake upon their introduction would lead to this. Starsky knew that even if he could have avoided all the pain and fear they both had gone through these last ten or so years at the price of losing this, he would have still done all the same things. Nothing was as important as what they had today and, hopefully, for the rest of their lives.

Putting the final touches to the monster sandwiches, Starsky turned to find Hutch leaning against the doorframe, just watching. "Hi." Starsky's body reacted to the sight of the tall blond form lounging indolently there with the glow of the hall light behind casting an aura around him. Feeling a little disconcerted, Starsky would have sworn that he was too sated to react to anything, but his body had other ideas.

The smile Hutch gave him was one of fond amusement. "Hi yourself. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming back with the food. Should have known you were building one of your masterpieces." Hutch straightened and walked slowly to his flustered partner. Stopping in front of Starsky, Hutch reached around the other's body and picked up a piece of beef that had fallen out of one of the sandwiches. "So, you want to eat down here or should we take these back upstairs?"

Hutch was also wearing only jeans, and when he reached for the tidbit of meat, his bare chest rubbed against Starsky's arm. Starsky had to close his eyes and clamp down on the urge to take his partner right there on the kitchen floor. Gathering strength from somewhere, Starsky swallowed and opened his eyes to find Hutch gazing at him from only inches away. "Uh, I think we should eat at the table. They're kinda messy." And maybe I'll be able to keep my hands to myself long enough to let you eat your sandwich.

"Okay. Was there any milk?" Hutch patted Starsky on the arm and moved away to look in the refrigerator.

Starsky dragged in a deep breath and tried to control his shaking hands. "Yeah. Behind the pickle jar." Walking very carefully, Starsky carried the food-laden plate to the table. He found that if he did not watch Hutch, it was easier to concentrate on getting the food and the dishes to their destination without mishap. God, how the hell am I goin' to be able to work with the guy if I can't even be in the same room with him without wanting to jump his bones. You're a sick, sick man, David Starsky.

"You okay, Starsk? You're awfully quiet." Hutch was helping with setting up the table by bringing over the coffeepot and cups. Now he was in the process of finding the sugar bowl and he was standing in front of one cupboard door and stretching to open another. Starsky found the play of strong muscles working over the long lines of Hutch's shoulder and arm to be very distracting and it took him a minute to realize that his partner had asked him a question.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just tired I guess." Starsky could have bit his tongue on the last words when Hutch turned around and gave him a knowing look. "Uh, sit down, Hutch. We'd better eat this before the bread gets dry or somethin'." Starsky knew that he was babbling now, as bad a thing as his earlier silence, but he could not seem to stop. Maybe if he shoved some food in his mouth....

They spent the next few minutes in silent chewing until Starsky looked up from his plate and caught sight of Hutch sitting across from him. Hutch was looking inside the sandwich, picking out the olives that Starsky had put in to liven it up a bit. There was a tiny smear of mustard just to the right of Hutch's bottom lip and Starsky watched it in a kind of wonder, thinking how it would taste if he should go around the table, take his partner's head between his hands, and....

"Starsky. Hey! Starsky! What's the matter with you? You've got the strangest look on your face." Hutch had put his sandwich back together and was looking at Starsky with a half-irate, half-concerned stare. "Starsk, you okay, buddy?" Hutch had fallen back into his mother hen role.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Hutch, what happened between you and your parents?" Starsky clamped his lips closed, but it was too late. The question that had lurked in the back of Starsky's mind since their arrival in Duluth had slipped out while he was trying not to think of smearing mustard all over his partner and doing weird things to him.

Hutch carefully laid his sandwich down on the plate and stared at it as if he had never seen one before. Starsky wanted to crawl under the table; so mortified was he at letting the question fall out like that. He really did want to know, but not like this, not with Hutch looking like that.

"It's okay, Hutch. I'm sorry." Starsky reached out a hand and rubbed Hutch's arm. "You don't have to tell me nothin' if you don't want to."

Starsky could tell that Hutch was thinking hard. All the signs were there--the tightness around the expressive mouth, the furrow between the fair eyebrows deepening, the way Hutch's one eye squinted a bit more than the other. Starsky decided that maybe he should just be quiet and let Hutch alone for now. He started to get up from the table to allow his partner some space when Hutch's hand clutched at Starsky's arm.

"No, stay, Starsk. I guess you've got a right to know." Hutch looked up at Starsky with a little smile pulling at his mouth. "It's not exactly a secret, at least not amongst the family, anyway. I suppose that one day you'll hear about it. You might as well get my version first." Still holding on to Starsky, Hutch moved his hand until it clasped Starsky's. Hutch's hand felt warm and a little sweaty against Starsky's palm, and he would not have let it go for anything. Not while Hutch looked like that.

"It all started my first year in university. I've got to tell you, buddy, that living on campus in the really big city was totally different from anything I'd ever experienced before. I had gone here to the community college here for a couple of years and lived at home, but I was anxious to get away from my family and out on my own. I'd applied for scholarships and admittance to every big university on the East Coast and got both from the U of M up in the Twin Cities. I guess I went a little wild. You remember what the sixties were like--the peace rallies, love-ins, and all that junk about finding yourself. Oh, I found myself, all right. And I was none too happy with what I found." Hutch ran his free hand through his fine hair making it stand up in little peaks where it was still sweaty from their lovemaking.

"Dad had always wanted me to major in business law, but from the time I was a little kid helping my granddad with the livestock, I dreamed about being a doctor. Maybe a vet, maybe a GP, I didn't know, but I wanted to be some kind of doctor. So Dad and I compromised. I always had really good grades and it didn't seem that much of a problem to take courses that would prepare me for either profession. It was really easy for me to handle them, at least at first." Hutch grinned a little disparagingly at Starsky and squeezed the hand in his.

"You see, Starsk, I wasn't always the fine, classically handsome man you see before you today. Nope, I was your A-number one nerd. I went off to Minneapolis with a Dutch-boy haircut, horn-rimmed glasses, and practically wearing knee breeches. By the end of first semester, my hair had grown out, I'd ditched the glasses, and I'd found I'd outgrown the breeches. When I came back for Christmas that year, you'd have thought I'd turned into a mass-murderer or something. Dad and I fought over everything that week, from the clothes I wore to the politics I spouted. We were hardly able to say a civil goodbye when it came time for me to go back." Hutch shook his head, the grin on his lips a little strained around the edges.

Starsky tried very hard to envision the boy his partner must have been all those years ago. He found it easier to believe that Hutch had been a little nerdy--after all, he still had those moments--than the hippie child it sounded like Hutch had tried to turn himself into. But then, it would explain Hutch's weird notions about nutrition and some of the outlandish outfits he would occasionally pull out of his closet. Starsky thought fondly of the serape that Hutch had insisted on wearing for a couple of months one fall until the time he tangled himself up in it so badly, he could not find his gun and almost got both of them killed.

Hutch chuckled low in his throat, "Yeah, I went from being a corn-fed redneck to being the next Abby Hoffman. Or at least that was what I thought." He sighed. "Towards the end of my second year, I met Van and I did such a fast reverse I probably left skid marks. Before that, I'd been messing around with half a dozen girls, but once I started pursuing Van, all those girls disappeared. Or at least I thought they had." Hutch let go of Starsky's hand and almost launched himself from his chair. Walking over to the door leading out to the deck, he opened it and stared out into the dark.

Starsky sat and watched his partner, wondering if Hutch needed to be alone or what. The next words convinced him that the what Hutch needed was Starsky's arms around him.

"I loved her so damn much, Starsky. I don't think I ever stopped loving her right up to the day she died. Oh, I know we were never right for each other, and everything that happened that summer after we met should have shown me that then. She was so damn beautiful and sophisticated, everything I never was and always wanted to be." Hutch leaned back into Starsky's embrace as he came up behind Hutch and wrapped his arms around to rest hands on his partner's stomach.

"Van went back to Chicago to work for the summer and I came home. Dad always had a job open for me with the company and I kind of liked working on the docks, even if I never could be just one of the guys. Van and I talked almost every night and we made all these plans, you know. But that doesn't have anything to do with what happened. Not really." Hutch's sigh seemed to go right through Starsky.

"Hutch, I...." Starsky began, but Hutch stopped him from continuing.

"No, let me tell it. Maybe it'll help me put some things to rest for myself. One of the reasons I expected my parents to have fits about you and me was how they reacted to what happened that summer. They were pretty straight-laced back then and they saw a lot of things as cardinal sins. They were very pleased that I was interested in Van because she came from a 'good' background. Some of the girls I'd been dating were not of the best of families, at least not what my parents considered the best. Certainly not good enough for the son and heir of the Hutchinson fortune." Hutch's laugh was brittle. "Sounds all soap operaish, doesn't it?"

Starsky let go when Hutch tugged at the clasped hands folded on his stomach. Hutch did not go anywhere though. Instead, he turned so he was facing Starsky and could fold him into his arms. Chin resting on Starsky's shoulder, Hutch continued his story.

"There was this one girl named Gloria, although she insisted everyone call her Aspen--she was a real flake, but I had thought she was really cool back before Van. Anyway, Gloria shows up one day in Dad's office with some news for him. Seems she wanted some compensation for her pain and suffering that she said I was the direct cause of. She had this whole story about how I'd gotten her pregnant and made her get an abortion. Because the guy who'd done the job wasn't quite the professional he professed to be, she'd gotten sick and now she wanted recompense."

"Oh, babe." Starsky rubbed small circles across the tense muscles of Hutch's back.

"Yeah, well the thing was is that none of it was true. Sure, I'd dated her a couple of times, even slept with her, but I'd never gotten her pregnant. We'd dated early on in the year and her time frame was all screwy. And I certainly never would have paid for an abortion. If I had gotten a girl pregnant, I would have married her. Even if I thought of myself as a free spirit back then, I still was the product of my parents' upbringing and I would have done the 'right thing'. Problem was, I couldn't convince my father of that. We had a running battle for almost a week before he kicked me out. That's when I decided to move to California. If Dad didn't want me around, then I'd get as far away from him as I could."

Hutch moved his head so that his cheek now lay against Starsky's shoulder. Starsky had a suspicion that Hutch was crying, but he did not let on.

"I talked Van into moving out there with me. I had been applying for scholarships to other universities and I was accepted by UCLA, so everything seemed to work out okay. I changed my major from Law to Medicine and I thought I was set and, and well...you know how the rest of that went. Anyway, about six months or so after I moved out west, the truth came out about Gloria and her little scam. Seems she'd targeted every guy she'd gone out with that semester with the same false accusation. Some parents threw her out, and some--like mine--paid her off. Mom tried to get Dad to apologize for how he'd acted towards me and me to listen, but neither of us would. And then when I left med school to go to the Academy, it only made things worse."

Hutch stood up and looked into Starsky's eyes. Starsky was mildly surprised to note that Hutch's eyes were dry. "If it hadn't been for that business with Bellamy, Dad and I may never have spoken again. That's when I realized that life's damn short and sometimes you don't get a second chance. If something had happened to my dad and I never made the effort to reconcile with him, I never would have forgiven myself. It's taken a long time and a lot of unhappiness to get to where my parents and I are now, and I have you to thank for helping me figure things out."

Leaning forward, Hutch kissed Starsky on the forehead then moved downwards to kiss him almost chastely on the lips. "I love you, Starsk. Not just because you're the best person I've ever known, but because you make me the best person I can be. Thank you for that."

Hutch pulled Starsky closer and held him. Starsky in turn wrapped his arms around Hutch as tight as he could. They stood like that for a very long time.

~~~

Starsky realized that he liked waking up in Hutch's arms more than he did making love to him. Well...maybe not more, but it was definitely up there close to the top of the list of the ten favorite things in his life. They had fallen asleep cuddled together like two puppies under a blanket. One of Hutch's long legs was draped over both of Starsky's and one of Hutch's arms was lying heavy across Starsky's upper chest. The other arm--or rather hand--held Hutch's pillow in a death grip under the blond head. There was just enough space between them to allow Starsky to watch his love sleep.

He lay there looking at Hutch's face, thinking about nothing much, just satisfied in being. They had sat up late the night before, talking about many things--families, their respective childhoods, the dreams that had changed or disappeared over two lifetimes of living from one day to the next. Mostly, they talked about each other and the new dreams that were born in the light of their love. Then, somewhere around midnight, they had come back to bed and fell asleep wrapped together. Sex had not even come into consideration, both being too tired to even work up more than a kiss or two. But it had been beautiful in its own way and Starsky was content in that.

Not sure of the time, and really not caring at the moment, Starsky allowed himself to drift in the warm comfort of being with someone who loved him. It was a nice feeling, this one of being safe and loved. Although he had always been aware of the fact that Hutch loved him, and always, always had he felt safe in Hutch's presence, it was a different feeling having both at the same time and in such momentous quantities.

Lying there with his eyes shut, Starsky listened to the sound of Hutch's breathing, and if he held very still, Starsky could hear his partner's heart beating, the blood rushing through his body. All soothing sounds, so close to a lullaby that Starsky had to concentrate on staying awake. Love had many faces--he found himself thinking of all of the ones that Hutch's love had presented through the years. First, there had been the simple caring of a classmate, then roommate, while they were in the Academy together. After that had come friendship which had grown from two guys who liked to hang out together to two people who dreamed of working alongside the other. Partnership with all its many connotations came next. That form of commitment had grown and developed until their partnership became legendary in their district. Heck, perhaps in the whole state.

Turning slightly to ease his back, but not enough to dislodge any of the warm limbs covering him, Starsky thought about that partnership. They knew one another so well that most of the time they did not have to do much more than look at each other to know what thoughts were being processed. It made them practically invincible on the streets for years, that connection. Many thought it was eerie, how they communicated with barely more than a glance or a slight tilt of the head. Even Starsky had to admit he did not understand how it worked, he could only rely on its being true.

Staring up at the ceiling, Starsky wondered how their life would be now. He wondered if they could hide it from the powers that be back home. He wondered if they should even try to hide it. After all, if Hutch's family had figured it out with no more than a few words on paper and an occasional phone conversation, how much more did the people who saw them every day know? Starsky stretched out one leg carefully. Dobey probably knew, or if he had never admitted it to himself, then he must have suspicions. Huggy must know. Huggy probably knew them better than they knew themselves. Heaven knew that their friend had talked them out of more arguments and into more trouble over the years with how well he knew them. He probably had known years before they did how the wind was blowing and had been too polite to say anything. Starsky would have to have a talk with the Bear just to find out for himself how long they had been giving off signals that neither one had been smart enough to catch.

Starsky drifted some more in that place between sleep and awake. Hutch moved against him, pulling Starsky closer in an unconscious embrace. Smiling, Starsky allowed his mind to wander to his favorite subject. Lying there thinking about Hutch, Starsky sighed happily. Yesterday had been the most extraordinary day of his life. Making first love to Hutch was an event that Starsky doubted he would ever top, but he was more than willing to try. He knew that as they became more comfortable with each other during sexplay, they would find new ways of astounding each other, but still, yesterday had been very special. Not special because it had been the first time one of them had buried themselves in their partner, but because it was the first time they had only themselves to think about, to please.

Moving ever so slowly, Starsky lay his cheek against Hutch's chest so he could feel the air moving in and out and the slow, steady beat of this one amazing heart. Just knowing that Hutch loved him this way made Starsky's own heart beat a little faster. Starsky firmly believed that he had been given a second--or was that a third or fourth?--chance at life simply because Hutch needed him to live. Back in the dark days after the shooting, there had been moments when Starsky would wonder if all the struggles were worth it. When it would have been so easy to give into his body's demand for rest and gone away. But then he would remember the look on Hutch's face when he turned around and found Starsky blinking at him and know that there was no leaving Hutch.

It was a weighty proposition this. Being the reason for another human being's desire to live was both an honor and a burden. An honor because this one particular human was worth anything to keep alive and happy. A burden because sometimes living was just too damn hard and it would be so very easy to just turn your back and leave. But if he left, Starsky knew that Hutch would too, some how, some way. There was no getting around the fact that Starsky could not bear that knowledge without doing everything in his power to prevent it.

Sighing, Starsky reached up a careful hand and laid it flat on Hutch's chest over his heart. The texture of Hutch's chest enthralled Starsky. Maybe it always had. Soft, smooth, with only the barest suggestion of fine hair, it was also strong. Although Hutch was not an imposing man, being all arms and legs, Starsky had first hand knowledge of the strength hidden under this fair, almost white, skin. Starsky thought back to the time he had been shot down in that restaurant and Hutch had picked him up from the floor and carried his limp body to the back room. And another time when Starsky had barely managed to drag himself up too many flights of stairs to collapse on a rooftop. Hutch had carried him down those same stairs to the waiting Torino, and still found the strength of will to figure out the case and save Starsky's life.

Closing his eyes, Starsky wondered, not for the first time, how much he owed this man he had become part of. He knew that he owed Hutch his life a dozen times over, and probably his very soul at least that many times more. Starsky knew that Hutch thought the scales were balanced, that Starsky had done the same service for Hutch over the years and neither owed the other anything other than what they were willing to give. Starsky knew that was not true. He owed so much more, more than he would ever be able to repay.

A change in Hutch's breathing alerted Starsky that his partner was wakening. Moving back slowly, Starsky maneuvered himself so that he could watch his lover wake up on this new day. He had never done this before, not like this. Starsky cataloged every motion. Pale lashes fluttered over closed eyes. A muscle quivered in Hutch's left cheek, then his lips. The pink tip of his tongue peeked out then disappeared as Hutch rose a little more towards consciousness. Starsky almost laughed as Hutch's nose twitched once, then again. The movement reminded Starsky far too much of a rabbit he had seen at the petting zoo when he had taken Lisa there one Sunday afternoon.

Hutch mumbled, then rolled on to his back, pulling all the warm limbs away from Starsky. Feeling bereft, Starsky captured Hutch's hand and held it gently between his own. Lying on his side, Starsky smiled softly as sleepy blue eyes opened and turned to look at him. "Hi." Starsky's smile grew into a full-fledged grin as Hutch blinked owlishly at Starsky. "Hey, Blondie, what happened to my up-at-dawn partner?" Lifting the still sleep-heavy hand to his lips, Starsky kissed Hutch's knuckles, then turned the hand to kiss the palm.

"I think you killed him, babe." Hutch's other hand rose to stroke Starsky's curls as Hutch rolled back on to his side so that they were lying almost nose to nose. Tightening his grip on Starsky's hair, Hutch pulled gently so that their lips met in a soft kiss that heated slowly towards passion. Hutch released Starsky's lips and spoke against them, "You want to see if you can revive him, love?" Starsky's only answer was to roll Hutch flat on his back again and show him how appealing the idea was.

~~~

"So, what's on the agenda today?" Starsky sat sprawled across the chair in Hutch's room. One leg lay flung over the arm of the chair while the other leg lay folded on the seat. They had showered and gone to their respective rooms to dress for the day. Starsky had finished first simply because he had thrown on the first clothes he laid his hands on--a slightly wrinkled shirt and yesterday's jeans. Hutch, on the other hand, was picking through his closet looking for something. The sight of Hutch standing there with his back turned; clad only in rather skimpy cotton briefs was both distracting and entertaining. Starsky knew that Hutch was very aware of the effect he was having on his partner and Starsky was not sure if he should hate him for it or love him all the more.

"I want to show you some of the city. There're a couple of museums that are really worth seeing; the railroad one I know you'll really like. We could go down to the docks and look around the family's business. Or maybe we could go for a drive up the coast of the lake a bit. It's very different from the ocean. No, that won't work; we've got to be back in time to go to dinner at Katie's. Maybe we could do it tomorrow...."

Starsky stopped listening; lost in the wonder of how much things had changed yet stayed so much the same. He and Hutch may have discovered something new in their life together but they were still the same people with the same idiosyncrasies and needs. For the first time since that morning sitting in the parking garage when Hutch had turned to him and spoken his heart, and Starsky's heart too, Starsky knew that everything would be okay. After all, they had each other, just like always. They would weather any storm, any problems that may arise because together they were strong enough to fight anything and anyone.

The love they always had for each other had not changed. It had grown, developed new possibilities, but the underlying shape of it was the same as it had been since the day they first met. And that made all things right. Starsky smiled and got up out of the chair to ambush his partner, who was in the process of putting on his pants. Yeah, life would always be the same--perfect.

The end. Or not.