"Ohh Baby baby!" "Hutch, I'm trying to work here." "What—I can't call you at the station anymore?" "Not with that tone of voice, you can't." "What tone?" "You know damn well what tone, you slut." "Oh, THAT tone. Well, can I help it if I'm hot for your bod? I'm a sexual being with all that implies." "Have you been drinking?" "How did you know?" "I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?" "Why did you leave me?" "You know that the snitch would only talk to me. I'll be home soon. And then you'll know what being alone without you does to me, Blondie." "Why don't you tell me now?" "Ummmm . . . . " "I can tell you what you do to me. And what I hope you'll do to me when you get home." "Why don't you go to bed, and when I get home we'll discuss this." "Oh yeah, you're always trying to get me into bed, you skank, you!" "I love you too, Hutch. Go to bed." "Only if you promise to suck on my cock when you get home." "HUTCHHHH!!!!" "Promise?" "You are incorrigible." "I love it when you use those big words." "I know." "Do you promise? I'll suck on yours . . . . " "All right—I promise. NOW will you go to bed?" "I think I want you to fuck me silly, too." "I think you're already silly." "Ha ha. I'm not so think as you drunk I am." "Yeah, right. I'll be home soon. I'm almost finished." "So am I, baby, so am I." Starsky crept as quietly as possible into the bedroom considering the weird stuff strewn about on the floor. He sadly shook his head, knowing that his partner, messy at the best of times, was a total slob when he'd had a drink or two. Or twenty. Expecting to find Hutch asleep, he was more than a little astounded to find Hutch not only wide awake, but wide awake. The red satin sheets that they usually reserved for special moments graced the bed in all their scarlet glory were only surpassed in brilliance by Hutch's smile. "Hi, lover. It's about time you got here. I was ready to start the party without you." The wink Hutch bestowed upon his lover stopped Starsky in his tracks. He was suddenly worried for his life. Not to mention assorted appendages. "Hutch, I'm beat. I should take a shower and wash off the stink of the streets. Then I'm going to sleep—and you should, too." The crestfallen look on Hutch's face was almost enough to make Starsky reconsider his words. But the lure of hot water won out and he turned his back on his partner before he could change his mind. Starsky indulged and drained the hot water tank as he cleansed himself, reveling in the sheer decadence of it all. Occasionally he thought he heard Hutch moaning and calling his name, but decided to ignore him, hoping he'd finally be asleep by the time Starsky finished his ablutions. By the time Starsky had finished his shower, all was quiet in the other room. Starsky walked naked back into the bedroom trying to soak up as much water from his dark-tresses as possible with the aid of one small towel. Somebody should really do the laundry around here. That was his last coherent thought for the night. When Starsky raised his head and gazed at the bed, he beheld a most strange and enticing sight. Hutch lay on top of the covers, spread eagled. His cock stood proud and tall. It made Starsky want to salute it, especially since Hutch's balls were tied up in red and white—and from where Starsky stood—they were getting mighty blue. "What the fuck have you done, Hutch?" Hutch raised his head and tried to focus on the man speaking in such a loud voice. "Starshky? 'Zat you? I waz callin' and callin' but you din't come. Why din't you come?" The plaintive voice became more and more indistinct. "Hutch, wake up, you moron. What did you do—cut off the blood supply to your brain? And what in the name of all that's holy do you have on?" Hutch grinned stupidly and gestured at the flagpole waving in the breeze. "It's my ribbon from seventh grade when I won the spelling bee. You like it? Want me to show you the medal?" Hutch said the last with a distinct leer. Not wanting to know exactly where the medal was at that moment, Starsky shook his head vehemently. "Uh, that's all right. I'll see it later. But why are you wearing the ribbon—or don't I want to know?" "I wanted to make sure I had a 'rection for you when you got home to show ya how much I love ya, poodle. And I couldn't find the cockring so I improvised! Aren't I clever?" Well, that explained the state of the bedroom. But . . . 'POODLE?' No, don't ask. DO NOT go there. "Yes, Hutch, you are my clever boy. But, I'm home now so why don't we get this off you, okay?" Starsky knelt on the bed beside his more than slightly inebriated lover and reached for the most patriotic member in the room. "Hutch? How did you tie this, babe?" Starsky couldn't quite see where the ribbon began or ended. Hutch looked as proud as punch as he replied, "It kept coming off so I used my old Sea Scout knots on it and it worked like a charm. Arncha glad I was a Sea Scout?" "Well, to tell the truth, I'd be a lot happier if you'd used a slip knot. I can't get this off because you TIED IT TOO TIGHT, YOU IDIOT!!" Starsky gave the ribbon a good yank hoping that it would loosen, but Hutch's ear-splitting shriek stopped that in a hurry. Starsky shook his head and stood. "I've got to get a knife and cut this off. I'll be right back." Starsky left the bedroom trying valiantly not to laugh. On his return, Hutch was nowhere to be seen. "Hutch? Buddy? Where are you?" A whimpering sound emerged from the vicinity of the closet. "Hutch, what's wrong? Does it hurt? Come on out and let Starsky make it all better, okay, babe?" "No." "What do you mean, no? Get your ass out here, or I'm coming in after you!" "But, you've got a knife and you want to use it!" "Well, of COURSE I want to use it. If I don't it's going to drop off!" The whimpering intensified. "Okay, Hutch, what is it? Don't you want me to fix your cock for you?" The whimpering turned into full-fledged wails. "I can't Starsky! I just can't! I'm too old for a bris!" Once again, the ride to the hospital was fraught with danger because Starsky couldn't control his hysterical laughter |