Subject: Re: [VP] and how did YOU get into slash?
Date: Tue, 19 Jan 1999 18:40:14 -0500
From: Caorann
To: veniceplace@jbx.com

Well, I thought I'd use this as a way to introduce myself. My 
name is Caorann, and I just joined this list. I got sucked into 
S&H through crossovers with The Sentinel. I started watching it 
on TNT just before they stopped showing it. <wail> I've been 
pestering Columbia House ever since to start putting out videos. 
If they can do EMERGENCY!, they can do S&H.

>> How did YOU get into slash?

The first time I ever really thought about what two guys might do 
in bed, I was watching the movie 'Maurice'. I loved it! I really 
didn't think about it much after that, though, until I got on the 
net. I was a big Space:Above and Beyond fan, and I found a link 
to an erotic fanfic site. Some of the stories were m/m. After I'd 
read all the het ones, I decided to try one of the slash ones 
(though I didn't even know the term slash yet!). I was hooked! I 
found more S:AAB sites, found out about slash (through another 
big favorite of mine, Due South), and never looked back. Now, my 
main fandom is TS, but I also read Pros, S&H (duh!), Stargate SG-
1, and Highlander. I admit to being a true slash slut in that 
I'll try just about any fandom once! Or twice, or more...

>> Why did it appeal to you?

Well, I'll admit that at first it was just the idea of two 
gorgeous guys rolling around and getting sweaty together. <g> But 
now I find the whole idea of guys having these intense feelings 
and actually expressing them really interesting.

In my family, emotions were Not Allowed. Stiff upper lip wasn't 
the half of it. You could be cheerful, but you weren't allowed to 
be unhappy, or in pain, or angry. Only adults got to be angry, 
and it was usually at you. Being belittled for our feelings and 
for being less than Absolutely Perfect was a way of life around 
our house. Feelings and caring were a weakness, to be rooted out 
and destroyed, or at least hidden. Our feelings weren't our own. 
Nothing was our own. We had no private property, no privacy at 
all. I remember vividly my father saying "I can do what I want 
with you, because I own you. Just like I own this house, my car, 
the clothes on your back, the bed that you sleep in, I own you."

The whole idea of being free to have and express feelings that 
society in general might disapprove of is very powerful for me. 
These characters love each other, they care about each other, and 
instead of it being a weakness, it's a strength. Love as 
important and positive is something I still struggle with.

>> Are you in the closet about it?

No, not really. I don't go around telling people this is what I'm 
into, though. <g> But some people in my family know, and some of 
my friends know, and I just keep it pretty low key. 

> What compels you to write it and read it?   

Well, I think I explained why I read it. Why do I write it? I 
haven't written much slash, and none of it's been published. I 
write it because I love the characters, and I can't stop playing 
with them. <g> I keep finding new ways to explore them and I just 
have to find out how it will all work out. I like to get 
underneath the characters' skin, and figure out how they would 
feel and react in different situations. I like to be someone 
else. 

Caorann 

Have you noticed that the universe is starting to look more and 
more like Vancouver? 
The Sentinel, Stargate SG-1, Highlander, Poltergeist:The 
Legacy...  
