What Starsky & Hutch Have Learned....
07 Nov 1999
from Flamingo

Author's note: I don't know how you guys feel about all those lists of pithy sayings friends are always sending us through email. I know when I get a list of those smaltzy, Hallmark-induced platitudes about life I want to respond with a similar list parodying those plastic cliches. It's just the evilness in me. However, I did get a list of sayings that were called "What I learned" from a friend and there were too many I just couldn't ignore. Sayings that were so blatantly true I couldn't just make fun of them and go my way. I hung onto them for a year, and finally figured out what to do with them. I rearanged them, organized them differently, and turned them into the following story:

What Starsky & Hutch Have Learned....

Hutch stormed into the VenicePlace apartment, slamming the door viciously behind him. If Starsky had been any closer, it would've hit him in the nose. After a moment's pause, Starsky sighed, then opened the door gently and walked quietly into the apartment.

Hutch was over at the kitchen counter, putting grounds in the percolator to make coffee. His gestures were full of rage as he slammed the pot around, spilling grounds carelessly. His entire body was rigid with anger. It was going to be a long afternoon.

"Hutch," Starsky said quietly, "you gotta at least try to see things from Molly's point of view. She's young! She wants to see the world. Go places she's never gone before."

Hutch spun on him, enraged. "She quit college, dammit, when she's so close to getting her degree! This is no time for her to go gallivanting all over the damned country, sightseeing!" Hutch was so angry, he gestured wildly with the half-prepared coffee pot, dumping water and grounds everywhere. "Goddammit all!" he shouted, slamming the pot back down on the counter.

Starsky would've been amused if Hutch wasn't so angry. He was as close to a father as Molly would ever have and he took his relationship with her seriously. Sometimes too seriously.

"She didn't quit college," Starsky insisted, as he got a towel to mop up the mess. "She took a semester off, that's all. She'll be back in time to start the next semester and finish her degree. It'll be a good experience for her, Hutch. And for Kiko, too." He said the last part much more quietly.

Hutch rounded on him. "Don't tell me you're buying into that big brother routine? She and Kiko aren't brother and sister. They know it and we know it. Do you really think two young kids their age, at their stage of development, should be traveling around the country unchaperoned?"

"Hutch," Starsky said, wanting to bring his partner up short, "you're sounding just like your father."

His partner did a perfect double take, as he turned away from the counter. His face turned beet red. "That's not true!"

"Yes, it is," Starsky insisted. "Just like your old man. You're sayin' the same thing to those kids that he said to you when you quit med school for law, and then again when you didn't finish your law degree. Remember what he said to you when you decided to leave Minnesota and come out west, travelin' 'round the country at that age? You've told me about it often enough."

Hutch became so angry he started to stutter. "This-this-this has nothing to do with that. Nothing! It's totally different! Molly's a girl. It's not safe for her--"

"Molly has a black belt in karate, she's an expert marksman with a gun, and she's got a damned Ph.D. in street smarts. Next to her, Kiko's a naive kid. She'll be protecting him. Admit it, Hutch, you've turned into your father."

Hutch stormed up to him, jabbing a finger at him. "My father was right about one thing! He said that if I left college when I was so close to getting my degree that I'd never go back. And I never did."

"That's true. You never did. Instead of becoming a corporate lawyer like he wanted, and spending your life gouging people and finding a way around the law, you became a cop. To enforce the law. To help people."

Hutch's jaw worked back and forth. "But I never did get my degree. Molly's smart. She could go somewhere. Especially now when women have so many more opportunities. She could be anything she wants--if she gets that degree. She could be someone."

Starsky sighed. "You think you're not someone because you never got that degree? Well, lemme tell ya somethin'--all those years of college didn't help you with some things. I've learned a helluva lot more on the streets--just like Molly has. Lemme tell you some of what I've learned."

He took the coffee pot out of Hutch's hand and placed it on the burner, turning the flame on. "For one thing, I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being, and that money is a lousy way of keeping score. And I've learned something else." He placed a gentle hand on his angry lover's arm. "I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become."

The touch calmed Hutch a bit, as Starsky knew it would, but he wasn't quite ready to give up his anger. "You think you're the only person who's learned anything from life? Let me tell you what I've learned. I've learned that you can get by on charm," he chucked Starsky under the chin, "for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd damned well better know something."

Starsky smiled and nodded. "Oh, yeah. Well, I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated." He reached up and rubbed the back of his hand against Hutch's cheek. "I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be."

Hutch softened a little, but Starsky knew there was more going on here then just his argument with Molly about her cross-country trip. The whole week had been difficult. They'd lost an important court case and gotten roundly chewed out by Dobey for skirting the rules to bring in another suspect.

Hutch, Starsky knew, was feeling burned out, exhausted. He all but admitted it when he said, "Yeah, well, I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life."

Starsky didn't like the way this was going. He took Hutch by the shoulders, made him face him. "Listen. With all we've been through, I've learned this: either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel."

Hutch was falling deeper into depression. "Yeah? Well, I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever."

Now Starsky was alarmed. Was Hutch talking about their affair? Starsky had been the one to push and prod Hutch into revealing feelings he would've much rather have kept buried. Was he regretting that now? Starsky sighed. "I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different." Now, he felt depressed.

Hutch must've detected the glumness in his tone and regretted it. He finally looked Starsky directly in the eye, and his expression relaxed. "Y'know, I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first," he smiled at his lover as they both remembered how crazed they had been those first few years, "the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place." Hutch reached over and ran his fingers through Starsky's hair. The intense feelings between them fairly thrummed through the air.

This mood needed lightening up, Starsky thought, and Hutch had given him the perfect opening. "Passion might fade, but I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't." He gently cupped his partner's groin and winked and Hutch broke into a smile.

Hutch stood a little straighter, and the smiled stayed on his lips. "I've learned--hell, you've taught me--that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences."

"Yeah, well, I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down," he was thinking of Dobey's furious tirade earlier that day, "will be the ones to help you get back up." Their Captain had defended them to the DA in spite of his anger over the lost case.

Hutch shrugged lightly. "Maybe you're right about Molly's trip. I learned a long time ago that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance." His voice got husky. "Same goes for true love."

"Speaking of love," Starsky said, wanting to shift things back to Molly, "I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. And sometimes...no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that."

Hutch sighed wearily, and squeezed Starsky's arm. "Yeah. I know. One of the things I've learned over the years is that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry--but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel."

"Yeah? Well, something I wish I could teach you is that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. You have to learn to forgive yourself."

"You're right," Hutch agreed, but then he looked sad again. "What I have learned is that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief."

"Look, Hutch, just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do."

Hutch nodded, staring at the floor, and Starsky was wondering if he was thinking of his own parents who never raised their voices to one another, but who hadn't slept together in decades. "Mmmm. I know it's true, too, that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt--and you will hurt in the process." He looked at Starsky with a helpless expression. "I guess-I guess I'm just afraid for her, for all the things she hasn't learned yet. Like how easily your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you."

"I think you'd be surprised at what Molly has learned--things you've taught her. I know she's learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. And I know she's learned--from you--that her best friend and she can do anything or nothing and have the best time. That's why she wants Kiko to go with her. Whatever else they might become to each other in the future, they're best friends first. I guess we both taught them that."

The percolator was boiling strong, and Hutch turned it off, as the pungent smell of good coffee filled the room. He reached for two cups. "You might be right about me sounding like my dad. And you knew damned well how I'd react to that. It's funny, but I never think of those people as my family anymore. You, Molly, Kiko, Dobey, Huggy--you're my family now." He poured the coffee and reached for the sugar bowl to sweeten Starsky's cup. "Over the years I've figured out that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological."

It always touched Starsky deeply when Hutch acknowledged the true depth of their relationship. Friends, partners, lovers, mates, none of those words were enough. They were family now, and they were lucky enough to have others included in that powerful word. He moved closer to the counter to retrieve his cup. "It's good you feel that way about those kids, because they sure feel that way about you."

Hutch looked concerned. "I don't know if they'd agree with you right about now. Molly was pretty mad...."

Starsky smiled. "Well, she's a strong-willed young woman. I think you took her by surprise when you started throwing all that Hutchinson paternal authority on her. She was bound to rebel. But I know one thing about you--that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you'll find the strength to help."

Rubbing a hand over his face, Hutch conceded, "Well...I guess the smart thing to do would be to accept the inevitable...and at least make sure they've got what they need. Some decent camping supplies. Enough cash. A reliable car...."

Starsky laughed out loud. "Oh, no, you don't. You take care of the camping gear. But I'll take care of the car! You wouldn't recognize a reliable car if it ran you over!"

"Oh, right!" Hutch said scornfully. "Starsky, two young kids don't need to go cross-country in a souped-up street machine with extra wide tires, a Hemy stick shift, and seventeen coats of red metal-flaked paint with pinstriping along the side!"

"So, you're going to give them your blessing for the trip?" Starsky asked, wanting to hear Hutch say it.

He nodded with a wry smile. "Like I've got a choice. They're going to go with or without my blessing or my help. I don't want to alienate them, or make them think they can't tell me things. And I want Molly to know how much she means to me. I want her to know that I believe that it's not what you have in your life but whom you have in your life that counts."

Starsky slid his arms around his lover's waist. "I think she knows that already, Hutch. Just like you know too, that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them."

They moved together and shared a loving kiss, then gave each other a short, tight hug. Starsky patted Hutch on the shoulder as they pulled apart.

Hutch went over to the phone. "I'd better call her. After the harsh things I've said.... Hell, if I've learned nothing else from all our close calls it's that you should always leave loved ones with loving words."

Starsky nodded as Hutch dialed. He rubbed a hand over the scars that he carried from their closest call of all. He thought at his partner, That's right, babe. Always leave loved ones with loving words because it may be the last time you see them. The people you care about most in life are often taken from you too soon.

He heard the tender tone in Hutch's voice as he murmured, "Molly? It's Hutch. Look...I'm sorry about this afternoon...."

Feeling a strong flush of love for his irascible partner, Starsky decided to give Hutch some privacy for his conversation and in a burst of inspiration decided to change the sheets on the bed. He had a feeling Hutch was going to need a special dose of his favorite kind of familial love before the evening was over.