The Twelve Days of Christmas

Lyrics by Jim Ellison
(Again, faithfully transcribed by Candy Apple)


On the first day of Christmas, 
My captain gave to me,
A job at the Cascade P.D.

On the second day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the third day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Three homicides, 
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Four B&E's,
Three homicides, 
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the fifth day of Christmas, 
My captain gave to me,
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's, 
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Six superiors screaming,
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's,
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the seventh day of Christmas, 
My captain gave to me,
Seven sergeants booking,
Six superiors screaming, 
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's,
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Eight cop cars speeding,
Seven sergeants booking,
Six superiors screaming,
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's,
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Nine hookers hooking,
Eight cop cars speeding,
Seven sergeants booking,
Six superiors screaming,
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's,
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the tenth day of Christmas, 
My captain gave to me,
Ten perps escaping,
Nine hookers hooking,
Eight cop cars speeding,
Seven sergeants booking,
Six superiors screaming, 
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's, 
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Eleven snitches snitching,
Ten perps escaping, 
Nine hookers hooking,
Eight cop cars speeding,
Seven sergeants booking,
Six superiors screaming,
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's,
Three homicides,
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
My captain gave to me,
Twelve stale donuts,
Eleven snitches snitching,
Ten perps escaping,
Nine hookers hooking,
Eight cop cars speeding,
Seven sergeants booking,
Six superiors screaming,
Five denied search warrants!
Four B&E's,
Three homicides, 
Two misdemeanors,
And a job at the Cascade P.D.!

(And a day off, I hope.)