What the fuck is going on here?
Slash fandom, like the literary world in general, produces its heroes and its unsavory characters. It's hard to say which one Hepaestion is. He is by far one of the most prolific writers out there. He writes gobs of stories. He writes so many, in fact, that you start to wonder if the guy has a job.
Everyone has read his writing because it's everywhere you turn. He churns out stories at such an alarming rate that it's hard to keep up to him as a reader. A simple Altavista search on him turns up 74 web pages. He is archived in, from what we can tell, Mostly-Slash Rape Stories, SlashKink archive, MulderTorture archive, a couple of random slash archives, an X-Files archive, two Velvet Goldmine archives and at least one Star Wars: The Phantom Menace archive. And that's just the results of 20 minutes of research.
So one day, perhaps while smoking some hard drugs, Hephaestion started writing the Scully Kink series. To his credit, the stories are supposed to be funny. They're not supposed to be accurate representations of female sexuality or even believable. They're apparently just supposed to be raunchy and as shocking as possible. The series has Scully having sex with baseball bats and getting them stuck in her hoohah. One has Scully going out on a date and, after a lovely dinner, her date tying her to the bed and...there's no way to put this nicely...shitting on her. (Angelfire censors on line one.) The story containing the latter is called...wait for it..."Corn on the Side."
Hephaestion posted some of his Scully Kink series to alt.x-files.fanfiction and sparked such a heated debate on feminism and boundaries in fan fiction that people were ready to go after each other with knives. He was also promptly banned from the newsgroup's mailing list, where fan fiction is also posted. They accused him of being a misogynist, he accused them of being homophobic, and it only got prettier. This incident, perhaps, is a perfect example of typical reactions to Hepaestion. Some love him. Some hate him. Everyone knows who he is.
Here is a very short excerpt from one of the Scully Kink stories, and in the interest of keeping my web space, it's one of the tamer parts:
"Mmmmmmmmmm" she moaned at being touched sexually after being celibate for so long. Her pussy gave way to excitement, and the gush of wetness hit her panties.
Thomas gave the air a sniff and knew she was ready. He picked up her small body and flung it on the bed. He looked at the pretty redhead and rubbed his hard on explicitly making her blush.
He began to rip her clothes off and watched the nice, sweet catholic girl moan and groan like a slut. His hand ripped the silk shirt and pinched the nipples, making them hard pink nubs.
He was pulling down her skirt and the whiff of her excitement made him growl. He saw her try to push her knees together but he grabbed them.
"Shhhh, baby you smell so delicious." and gave an evil little smile that made her think she was with Satan himself. He then dove down between her legs and started to suck on the soaking wet panty crotch.
"Oh my god!" Scully yelled out.
The inaccuracies are obvious. I don't know many women who yell out during sex at all, let alone from so little stimulation. She strips down and gets naked and lets the guy handcuff her to the bed, yet he rubs against her and she blushes. That's not really the point. The point is, whether he's doing this for fun or for jollies or for attention or for whatever, what the fuck is he doing sitting around coming up with this stuff? I mean, yeah. The guy shit on her. Isn't that hilarious? I'm slapping my knee as we speak.
Maybe Hephaestion just enjoys the attention. Maybe he thinks the stories really are funny. The curious part is that Hephaestion does not react well to negative feedback. He gets offended when someone doesn't like his stories and he seems to take it very personally. Why the hell would you write something like this if you didn't want people to react negatively? You're taking one of the classiest female characters in fan fiction, who people tune in to once a week to watch in a Versace suit, and you're depicting her having sex with animals. (Sex with animals, apparently, is hilarious too.)
I think you have to be in tune with Hephaestion's mindset to think the Scully Kink series is humorous. Some poor soul even designed a book cover for him. It doesn't work for me because I don't know what the hell he's thinking with this.
You can read the Scully Kink series here.