WHERE ROADS MEET
by:  Jmas
Feedback to:  jmtm1@eastky.net

*****

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and property of Stargate SG-1 belong to
MGM/UA, World Gekko Corp. and Double Secret Productions.  This fan fiction was created solely
for entertainment purposes and no money was made from it.  Also, no copyright or trademark
infringement was intended.  Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and
not intended by the author.  Any other characters, the storyline and the actual story are the
property of the author.  Not to be archived without permission of the author(s).

*****

Chapter 1: General George Hammond

*I'm really getting too old for this. *

Not too long ago I was ready to retire, kick back and let Tessa and Kayla spoil old grandpop.
Write memoirs that no one would ever read.and certainly wouldn't get shot for.and dream of
nothing more Earth-shattering than UV rays and how to improve my golf swing.

Of course, that was before the Stargate sprang to life after a year of silence.spilling out
Goa'ulds and Jaffa. Before Colonel Jonathan 'Jack' O'Neill gave me that first shit-eating grin.
And way before my perceptions of 'clear and present danger' were forever altered in the face of
a universe suddenly much larger and much more dangerous than I had ever suspected it could be.

Things moved surprisingly quickly after that. Stargate Command was thrown together with all the
finesse of a runaway train.necessity creating a sense of urgent purpose.held together with a
lot of will and a collective prayer. But somehow we made it all work. The first few missions
were a little.hell, a lot.rocky, but we got better at it. Better than better. This is without a
doubt the finest group of people I've ever had the privilege to command. What we lack in
finesse, we more than make up for in energy, commitment and heart. We may not always observe
parade ground rules, but traveling to unknown sectors of the galaxy and facing dangers so
surreal they could come straight out of the Twilight Zone, risking lives in ways so horrendous
and alien.well that kind of forgives a missed salute on occasion. We pull out the company
manners when we need to, the rest of the time we get the job done.

The SGC has been called the first line of defense against dangers few people on the planet are
aware of and we're damn proud of that. A certain PhD once said we were the 'single most
important human endeavor in the history of mankind'. Heady stuff that, but, by God, Doctor
Daniel Jackson knows better than anyone the simplicity of truth in that statement.

When Dr. Jackson opened the Stargate the concept of 'mankind' took on a whole new meaning. It
isn't just Earth anymore. There are literally millions of humans out there, stolen out of time
by the Goa'uld and transplanted throughout the galaxy like seeds scattered in the wind.slaves
and potential hosts for the most part. Sometimes still under Goa'uld control, other times
simply people who were discarded and forgotten at the whim of a bunch of parasitic aliens who
steal what they want with arrogant expectation and without a glimmer of regard for the lives
they alter and destroy. We *are * the first line of defense for Earth and, over time, I'm
discovering a very real sense of cosmic responsibility. Lord, that sounds like something Dr.
Jackson would say. He's fought our military mindset from the very beginning, and somehow he's
managed to drive the message home.at least to the best among us.that it *is * more than just
what's best for Earth now.

Teal'c calls Earth the 'First World' and I've finally come to realize just how appropriate that
is.it all started here. And the Goa'uld made damn sure it wouldn't end here.

From the first time the Stargate formed a wormhole at the bottom of Cheyenne Mountain a whole
new can of worms was opened. * God, that sounds like one of Colonel O'Neill's bad puns.* Too
bad we can't put the lid back on that can and forget we ever wanted to go fishing in the first
place. No, I don't really mean that. Unlike certain shit-head senators and narrow-minded NID
colonels I know for a certain-teed fact that it's thousands of years too late to reseal that
can. The best we can hope for is to learn some new ways to fish.

And that's why it's so important we keep doing what we do. We *are * learning, we're making new
allies, making life better more often than not for a lot of those offshoot societies that Dr.
Jackson worries so much about. Now, I'm career military.my thinking tends to stay inside those
admittedly pretty black and white lines.but I'm *not * stupid. It may have taken me awhile to
figure out just how important this culture-science-goodwill stuff was, but I *did * figure it
out.

*Not bad for an old country boy, hunh? *

What surprises me is the way Dr. Jackson has managed to win so many converts over to his Church
of Universal Responsibility and Ethics. Even Colonel O'Neill has gotten a healthy dose of that
particular philosophy. Yes, I mean the same Jack O'Neill who got picked to go on the first
mission through the Stargate because he was the meanest SOB to ever grace the ranks of Covert
Ops. And that would be the same Jack O'Neill who was ready and more than willing to blow up an
entire planet and himself, taking a potential threat to Earth with him. And that's certainly
the same Jack O'Neill who kept the truth of what really happened there to himself so a lot of
innocent people could live in peace for the first time in millennia. And that *would * be the
same Jack O'Neill who fought tooth and nail to keep that 'scientific crap' out of his missions.
And that's definitely the same Jack O'Neill who would give his life for any member of his team,
not to mention a whole lot of other folks out there in the universe. Yep, that's him. Three
years later and he is nowhere near the same guy General West described as an 'accident waiting
for a place to happen'. I've watched Jack O'Neill change from a distant and pretty damn
flippant *retired * officer to one of the finest team leaders.and friends.in this facility.
Which is only right I guess considering he heads the best damn team we've got.

Those first few weeks.that runaway train phase.I was as sure as I could be that SG1 would be
our first train wreck. I never would have thought those four people would manage not to kill
each other much less come to work together so effectively that sometimes it's downright scary
to watch them operate.

A word, an eyebrow, a shrug. At first I thought it was just my imagination, but after awhile I
figured out these people communicated on such a subtle non-verbal level they didn't even
realize the rest of us weren't up to speed on SG1-ese. Not that they don't communicate pretty
damn well.and pretty damn loud too.in the vocal range, but even there I can't seem to keep up
as well as I'd like to. Colonel O'Neill and his cliché mangling tirades, Major Carter and her
quasi-quantum-whatever-the hell's, Dr. Jackson .you'd think a linguist would recognize that 10-
syllable words work better on paper than spoken out loud.. Sometimes I think Teal'c is the only
one I can count on to make some measure of sense out of what the rest of them are saying. Worst
part of that is that he mostly *understands * it, processes it, distills it, then gives me the
short and sweet version all in the space of time it takes me to figure out that I don't have
the slightest idea what's going on. They really are a pretty smart bunch of people all
around.though Colonel O'Neill tends a little too heavily toward the smart 'ass' side of the
equation for my sanity's sake sometimes. The simple fact of the matter is they are *the * best
at what they do.

Which makes it all that much harder for me to walk into that briefing room and tell them I've
got to split them up.

*****

Chapter 2: Major Samantha Carter

A month? He's reassigning all of us for a month? General Hammond waltzes in here, drops a bomb
on us and sits there like we're supposed to like it. What's wrong with this picture?

When I can think again, he's telling me that Teal'c and I are going to some Pentagon
information exchange, the colonel's going to do some recruitment screenings at Eglin, and
Daniel supposed to go help those NID hacks at Area 51.

Something is *seriously * wrong with this picture..

The colonel feels it too. I can see it in that little squinty thing he's doing with his eyes.
Teal'c's giving me the eyebrow lift and Daniel..

Now that's strange.

Daniel's not looking at anybody. No reaction at all.

Uh oh..

The colonel sees it, but he's not saying anything yet. I guess that means we shouldn't either,
but that doesn't mean I have to like it General Hammond's still going on about "well-deserved
downtime" and I admit we've had some really rough missions lately. Maybe it's just the
colonel's suspicious nature rubbing off on me, but I have a really bad feeling about all of
this. Why not just give us a week's leave? Why send us off to opposite ends of the country for
heavens sake?

Not to put too fine a point on it, but we're *needed * here. We've already got too many teams
out on medical stand down or on long-term missions off-world. I don't understand the reasoning
behind all these comparatively trivial assignments at this particular point in time.

I keep waiting for the colonel to protest. I can see he's working up to it, sifting his way
through General Hammond's words for some clue to latch on to. I also see the little side
glances he's giving Daniel, expecting support but finding only a head bowed into a hand rubbing
away at another headache. I pick up on the little edge of concern creeping into the colonel's
eyes. Daniel's had a lot of headaches lately.ever since Amaunet used that ribbon device on him.
I know Janet's keeping an extra close eye on him because of it.we all are. Things haven't
slowed down very much for any of us since then; Daniel was knocked around pretty thoroughly on
Netu, then there was the alien body-double thing, and just last week the Triad thing with
Skaara which put a lot of pressure on Daniel and the colonel. Business as usual has been way
too busy for SG1.

The colonel's gaze goes from Daniel to Teal'c to me without a word. When General Hammond
finally winds down to the inevitable request for questions, I'm not entirely surprised when the
colonel shakes his head and allows us to be dismissed.

As Teal'c and I head for the door, I see the colonel touch Daniel's arm causing pain-filled
eyes to finally look up. A killer headache.no doubt about it. The colonel gives Daniel one of
those long stares that Daniel dismisses with a wave meant to be reassuring, but it just comes
off looking terribly tired.

"I'm okay, Jack." It's barely a whisper, meant only for the colonel's hearing.

The colonel just nods, putting out a hand to help Daniel to his feet. *Houston, we have mother-
hen mode. * The colonel takes Daniel's arm and guides him to the door I'm now holding open for
them. The colonel meets my worried look with a shrug and a tight smile. I can see the thought
as clearly as if he'd said it, 'maybe we really can use the down time.' I nod my head in
response as I follow them down the corridor, but I'm hit by that sneaking suspicious feeling
again.

There's more to all of this than we're being told..

*****

Chapter 3: Colonel Jack O'Neill

I am *not * a happy camper.

Something is so not right, I can feel it right down to my bones..

I'm about as useful here as a vintage DC-9.at least it would have had more to show for two
weeks of so-called work. I look at files and talk to these hotshots who think they've got the
world by the tail, but would probably lose more than their breakfast just looking at a
wormhole. God, I was never that young..

I talked to Carter last night, she and Teal'c are feeling about as necessary as I am while
getting the royal run-a-round at the five-sided fun house. The hell of it is none of us has
been able to reach Daniel. Not that it's very easy to phone home to Area 51, but I do have
certain connections, not to mention the rank, to get a message through.  He's never at the
hotel he's supposedly checked in to. Even Maybourne isn't *that * much of a slave driver.

Maybourne.

Colonel Harry Maybourne would need to climb a ladder to get to the bottom of my shit list most
of the time, but he did come through for us during that Foothold situation. Even so, I get a
little queasy when I think of Daniel being exposed to Harry's less than tender mercies for too
long a stretch. Harry's still got a slow burn going over that Tollan thing.

But what the hell..

Maybe I need to have a little colonel to colonel chat with Harry.make sure he's taking care of
Daniel. I think Harry knows me well enough to realize he'd better be.

I didn't like this whole plan from the beginning, but my team *was * tired.bone tired and more
than a little stressed. Daniel's headaches actually had me a little scared. Janet swears it's
just stress and maybe some residual effects from Amaunet's attempt to fry Daniel's brain.
Maybe. I just know I'm not going to feel any better until I hear Daniel's voice, then I'll know
he's okay.

I have to go through three Airmen and an officious-sounding lieutenant to get to Harry, but
finally I hear those clipped, nasal tones in my ear.

"Colonel O'Neill. What can I do for you?"

I just can't help myself when it comes to Harry. "Hey, Harry, dissected any good aliens today?"

I hear him sputter a bit. "What do you want, O'Neill?"

*O'Neill, hunh? It's just too damn easy to bait you, Harry. *

"I want to know why you're keeping my archaeologist so busy he can't take a damn phone call?"

The silence on the other end is just a hair too long. "I don't know what you're talking about,
O'Neill. Everyone on *my * team works hard, but I'm no slave driver."

That little silence helps me decide a little brown-nosing might be in order. "C'mon, Harry.I
just want to make sure the kid's okay. He wasn't feeling too well the last time I saw him."

Harry sighs loudly.too loudly. "Jack, I haven't seen Dr. Jackson.today. You know these
scientists, they get so wrapped up in their work you hardly know they're around."

Uh hunh.

"I'm familiar with the feeling, Harry. Could you let him know I called.when you see him?" I can
almost hear the smile on the other end of the line.message received.

"I'll do that, Jack."

"I owe you one, Harry." *Boy, that hurts to say. *

"I'll remember that."

He clicks off on that and I'm left wondering why I never seem to learn to listen to my gut.
Carter and Teal'c are where they're supposed to be, I'm stuck here at Anderson like I'm
supposed to be.Why in the hell isn't Daniel in Nevada where he's supposed to be?

Remembering Daniel's headache the day before we left, I wonder if maybe he got too sick to ship
out. I dial his apartment, but the machine picks up. From the length of the tone it's obvious
that Daniel hasn't picked up his messages for several days at least. Just to be on the safe
side I call Daniel's neighbor, Mrs. Ellis. Mrs. Ellis is a lovely old widow who picks up
Daniel's mail and feeds his fish when he's away.not to mention supplying him with actual home-
cooked food on a semi-regular basis. *We're not the only ones who think the kid forgets to eat.
* I try to keep my voice calm when I talk to her, but she's already upset. Seems Daniel was
expected back a few days ago and didn't he seem awfully tired before he left? I agree with her,
but try to make light of it, reminding her that yes, Daniel is *such * a sweet boy, but he does
tend to get wrapped up in his work. Before I hang up, I have her laughing and making plans to
fix us both a nice dinner when Daniel does get home.

This is getting seriously weird.

We were all sent off on these assignments with the understanding that they'd last the better
part of a month. Okay. So why did Daniel tell Mrs. Ellis that he'd be back in less than two
weeks? He'd go out of his way not to worry her. Harry hasn't seen Daniel at all. Where the hell
is he?

I have one more call to make; I just hope I can catch him at home.

"H'lo?"

"Ferretti?"

I don't even have to identify myself, Ferretti's two jumps ahead of me.

"Where the hell are you man? I've been trying to reach you for days."

That sends a chill through me. "Why? Where's Daniel, Lou?"

I hear him take a deep breath, it doesn't help my state of mind.

"Jack.he's missing."

"I *know * he's not at Groom Lake, Ferretti. Just tell me."

Feretti gets agitated easily at the best of times, but he's nearly hyperventilating now. "No,
Jack. He didn't go to Area 51, he went through the gate.and he's three days overdue."

The chill I felt earlier is quickly displaced by a heat I hardly know how to control. I manage
to keep my voice steady as I ask Ferretti to slow down and give me everything from the
beginning. One thing's for sure.if I have to walk, I'm heading back to Colorado.

Tonight.

*****

Chapter 4: Major Louis Ferretti

Man, the colonel sounded thoroughly pissed.

And he doesn't know the half of it yet. Considering he was calling from one of the biggest Air
Force installations in the states, I wasn't real comfortable giving him more detail than
necessary over the phone. We're both in enough hot water as it is and all he really needed to
know was that more was going on here than just a case of Daniel not being in Nevada like he was
supposed to be.

I still don't know as much as I'd like to.and not nearly enough to satisfy the colonel I'm
sure. I just know that I saw Daniel go through the gate alone in the middle of the night with
only Hammond, Harriman and, for some strange reason, Fraiser as witnesses. I wasn't supposed to
be there. I'd left a report behind in the control room and was heading up there to get it when
I heard the first rumble of the gate activating. I knew there wasn't anyone expected in or out
that night so I was sort of anticipating an alert when I started up the stairs. When the alert
didn't come, being the nosy bastard that I am, I slipped on up to get a look. I ducked out of
sight and looked through the observation window just in time to see Daniel, in those funky
Abydonian robes, starting up the ramp alone. Hammond was staring down there with a look I'd
never seen on his face before and I swear his voice was almost breaking as he told Daniel to be
careful and they'd see him in two weeks. I could just see Daniel's face from where I was.sad,
determined.before he nodded to the general and stepped into the wormhole. As the blue light
died with a *whoosh *, I could hear Fraiser protesting that Daniel was in no condition for this
mission. The general had to clear his throat before answering that Daniel *had * to be.

Right about then I figured it was the better part of valor, not to mention ass preservation,
not to get caught where I shouldn't be. I slipped out of the shadows and down the stairs while
they were still arguing about whether Daniel should have gone out alone. I can't be sure, but I
*thought * I heard Hammond say that he wouldn't be alone.but I can't be sure. He looked pretty
damn alone when I saw him.

I tried to reach the colonel that night and most of the next day, until I finally got Jimmy in
records to admit that the colonel had been assigned TDY at Eglin. I must've called a half dozen
times before catching on to the fact that nobody was delivering my messages so I figured
okay.I'll just keep my eyes and ears open and see what else I can find out. Which wasn't very
much. A few innocent questions to Fraiser just earned me a guilty look and a wide-eyed stare.
Harriman's been hanging around Hammond too long, I couldn't get so much as a blink out of him.
Being fairly fond of my backside, I didn't even *try * Hammond.

Now here I am, freezing said backside off waiting at this private airfield. I don't know how
the colonel managed to get his hands on a civilian aircraft in northwestern Florida.I probably
don't want to know.but this is where he said to meet him. He is going to be shit deep in
trouble when Hammond gets through with him. SG1 or no, there's only so much bull the old man
will take from the colonel. Going AWOL.even from temporary duty.definitely falls under
Hammond's definition of 'bull'.

I hear the plane before I see it. Cute little Cessna, I wonder.no I don't.that's one of those
things I don't need to know. I'm not really surprised to see that the colonel piloting; he
wouldn't want to involve anyone else in this.

Me? I got involved the day Daniel saved our asses on Abydos and it's kind of gotten to be a
habit. I *like * Daniel. I know I didn't cut him much slack at first, but he really came
through for us then.and so many times since. We talk a lot. I can listen to Daniel talk all
day.I know that sounds strange for an old country boy like me, but the guy just *knows * so
much about.so much. I've never met anybody that smart. Just off the top of his head he can
leave me in the dirt with his words.not that he would. He always takes care to make sure I
understand, explaining things in a way that doesn't leave me feeling like I'm any less than he
is because I didn't spend over half my life in school. And I like to think I help him, too.he
knows he can ask me anything. While I might laugh with him, I don't laugh *at * him.not
anymore. We've been through too much for that.

The colonel shuts the plane down and climbs out, making his way over to my old Bronco. SGC pays
me enough to get something better, but like my daddy always said.if it ain't broke, you don't
need a new one.

Even in the dim moonlight I can see the colonel's face is locked into that 'screw around with
me and die' mask that probably saved his life more than once in Covert Ops. I'm not at all sure
that kind of attitude will make any headway with Hammond so I need to get him calmed down and
thinking clearly before we get back to base. It's times like these when I really miss
Kowalsky.he was better at taming wild-eyed Colonel O'Neill's than I am.

As the colonel climbs in beside me, I see the mask slip just a bit and start telling him the
whole thing from the beginning. I can't gloss over the details.he'd see right through it
anyway.but I can see him start to thaw a little as I talk. I guess he had that whole long
flight alone to run through a bunch of pretty awful possibilities, but now.faced with the facts
as observed by Ferretti.he's starting to chill out and think more like a commander than a
worried friend.

I realize my own tension is easing up now, too. Whatever is going on with Daniel, the colonel
is here and one way or another.even if it ends with us up on charges.we're going to find out
the hell is going on.

*****

Chapter 5: General George Hammond

I am *not * going to lose my temper.

I am *not * going to let this total disregard for protocol and regulations.however well-founded
and well-meaning.affect my already too high blood pressure.

The hell I'm not..

"Colonel O'Neill, can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn the both of you over to
the SP's and be damned any possible consequences? Major Ferretti, the colonel was not included
in this mission for a *reason *. Are you operating under the sadly misguided assumption that
you can countermand my decisions at will?"

Well at least they *look * suitably contrite. I guess I haven't lost my touch after all. The
thing is..and I'll never admit this under pain of death.I was going to send for Colonel O'Neill
anyway. He's the only other one who *can * go after Dr. Jackson now. I'm hoping things haven't
gone to hell as badly as I fear they have , but Dr. Jackson *is * three days overdue.

My problem now is I have to give Colonel O'Neill what he wants.to go after Dr. Jackson.without
leaving him with the very much mistaken impression that he can go around flaunting orders at
will. We've been here before, that whole saving-the-Earth-against-executive-orders thing.not to
mention the thing with the Orbanians. I granted a hell of a lot of leeway then, but *this *
cannot go unremarked.

I stand a little straighter and put on what my kids call my pissed-to-the-max bellow. "Colonel
O'Neill, you *will * be receiving an official reprimand on your record, expect it. You will
*not * be making a habit of disregarding my orders in future.Is that clear, colonel?"

He has the good grace to look uncomfortable, but he's not the least apologetic. As Dr. Jackson
would say.déjà vu. We have definitely been here before.

I switch targets while I'm on a roll. "Major Ferretti, the phrase 'need to know' is part of the
military lexicon for a purpose. You will live, breathe and practice it.  Consider them words to
live by for as long as you are attached to this facility. Am I making myself clear?"

I've managed to make Ferretti uncomfortable *and * apologetic.so I'm feeling somewhat appeased.
Of course with Ferretti it's never easy to tell how much of his contrition is real and how much
is his patented line of BS, but I think the message is received. These guys have a long way to
go before they get *that * much over on me.

I have the singular pleasure of dismissing Ferretti at this point and seeing a totally shocked
expression come over his face.

"Need to know, Major." I smile at him as I close the door in his face.

*****

Chapter 6: Colonel Jack O'Neill

I do *not * believe this..

What the hell did Daniel think he was doing?

Well, duh, O'Neill. you know what he thought. He thought he was protecting us, he thought we'd
stop him, he thought *something * I haven't figured out yet.something that convinced Hammond to
buy into this crazy plan.

Janet said Daniel was still having those headaches when he left..

I knew I should have stuck around when they took the snake out of Skaara. I guess it was still
to soon after my own up close and personal encounter with one of those things.I just couldn't
stand there and watch. But Daniel could.and did. He's good about things like that. No matter
how personally grossed out he is, he stands by his friends. I don't doubt that there was also a
little piece of him that wanted to see the thing come out of Skaara with his own eyes..one
small victory to offset so many defeats.

Skaara already knew that Sha're was dead. I know he and Daniel did a little grieving together
before Skaara left to see his father. I hope Skaara decides to stay with the Tok'ra.the wealth
of knowledge he gained as Klorel's host would go a long way toward fighting the Goa'uld. Much
as I would have liked it, it wouldn't really be practical to expect Skaara to adapt to life on
Earth.and there's the distinct possibility that Harry and his crew would turn him into some
sort of lab rat. We'd all die before we let that happen.and at least now he's free.

So somewhere along the line Skaara passed on the little tidbit of news about *maybe * knowing
how to find Kheb. Fine. Why send Daniel out there alone with Skaara? Didn't they think I could
be subtle enough not to get caught even though I can't speak the lingo like they can? Daniel's
face is about as well-known as mine on the Goa'uld hit parade..

This whole plan was crazy.

I am so thoroughly pissed.

And worried..

This is the most screwed plan in the history of screwed plans..

At least Hammond let me come after them..I think he really believes I didn't know he was going
to recall me anyway. Right, George.

I make my way around the village carefully. I've been lucky so far not to run into anyone who's
inclined to talk. Except for the sparse greenery, this place reminds me a lot of Abydos. The
level of development, the architecture.really close. I just don't know how to go about finding
Daniel and Skaara without making at least some contact with the locals. And what am I going to
do the first time somebody asks me a question? Play deaf and dumb?

C'mon, guys.where the hell are you?

I move through an open area, trying to look a little inconspicuous and keeping one hand on the
zat under my robes. I'm taller than anybody I've seen so far and slightly lighter-skinned, but
these people are totally clueless. Hello? Big, pale stranger here.I'm guessing these people
haven't had much interaction with the Goa'uld, they're entirely too trusting here.

There are a lot of small buildings down by the stream and I figure I may as well start there.
As I make my way closer to the rough stone houses, I see a couple of the natives take notice of
me and go back to their work. Off to one side, I notice a hooded figure watching just a little
too long before slipping off to a house set away from the rest. That's my target.

The hooded guy is standing in the darkened doorway as I approach, moving back as I reach the
threshold. I touch the zat under my robes again and step inside. As my eyes adjust to the
dimmer light the hood falls to reveal Skaara.

"O'Neill! I knew you would come!"

The kid gives me a bouncing hug.so intensely familiar.and steps back. "Come, Danyer needs you."

That causes my gut to twist in a way that it is uniquely attributable to Daniel. I've got one
of those for everyone I care about, but Daniel's seems to get more than its share of practice.

Skaara leads me into room made as dark as possible in daylight, heavy cloths covering the
windows and lights a single oil lamp revealing a figure huddled on a mat against the wall.

"Daniel?" My body reacts faster than my brain.like that's a new concept.and I'm on my knees
beside him before his name fades.

Daniel turns a bit but doesn't open his eyes. "Jack?" The voice is barely a whisper, but even
that seems to hurt him.

I lower my voice in sympathy with that pain. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

Skaara moves forward to kneel beside me, speaking softly. "Danyer has been in great pain for
many days. Light and sound, even moving, make it worse. I could not leave him."

I put a hand on Skaara's shoulder. "You did the right thing. Did he have any medicine with
him?" Surely Janet didn't send him out here without something.

Skaara nods. "It is gone. Two days ago."

I scoot closer to Daniel, touching his forehead carefully.

"Jack?" That whisper-voice tells me more than a dozen words could. Daniel is really hurting
here.

"Take it easy, Danny.we'll get you out of here."

Daniel shakes his head. "Can't go, Jack. Can't."

I look at Skaara, hoping he knows what Daniel's thinking but he just shakes his head
helplessly. I'm guessing they've already had this argument. I don't know why Daniel doesn't
want to leave, but right now it's secondary to getting him back to the SGC and Doc Fraiser's
infirmary.

I motion for Skaara to follow me into the other room so we can make a plan without disturbing
Daniel. I open my mouth to ask Skaara what's been going on when we hear an explosion of sound.

Moving to the doorway, I watch in dread, knowing what I'm going to see.

Jaffa.

Dozens of them.

Systematically blasting away at these innocent natives.

A voice from the hilltop stops the destruction.

A familiar voice.

Even before I look I know what I'm going to see..

We are in *so * much trouble here.

*****

Chapter 7: Skaara of Abydos

I have never been so glad to see O'Neill.

I have been so afraid for Daniel. He was rarely ill on Abydos, just one episode of sun sickness
that he learned from and never risked again. Even his allergies were not a great problem as
long as he stayed away from the mastadge pens and aired out the tunnels he was so fond of
exploring. Sha're certainly allowed no dust to linger in their home to cause my chosen brother
discomfort. It was never difficult to want to help Daniel, the love he shared with us was all
we required to want to make him happy.and keep him healthy.

I have missed him so much. Our time apart has changed us both in many ways, but the feelings
have not changed. Even with Sha're lost to us, we are still family. I was very afraid at first
that Daniel could not forget the things my demon used my body to do. I should have known
better. Daniel would never blame me. He understands.

He told me about Sha're.her child, her death..and about the images placed in his mind as Sha're
fought her demon's attempt to kill him. I miss my sister. I saw Amaunet often, but only once in
all those years did I truly see Sha're. It was just after Amaunet returned from Abydos and the
demon had yet to regain full control. With all of my strength I fought for control of my body
and won. Sha're's eyes glowed with her own strong spirit as she told me Daniel still lived and
searched for us.still loved us. I held that knowledge close to my heart, letting it ease the
ache I had felt since my demon had so nearly killed him on the Ha'tak.

That image will never leave me. I could not fight the hate my demon felt for Daniel.for no
other reason than because he was important to me. I had regained control for just a few moments
that day and even influenced the demon's thoughts regarding Teal'c. My demon hated me for
causing it to weaken, it felt the joy in my heart upon seeing Daniel and tried to use me to
destroy him

I remember O'Neill's voice calling my name as Daniel struggled to breathe under the demon's
onslaught. I fought so hard to stop it, but the hate was too strong. I was so glad when O'Neill
fired his weapon. As I fell I could hear Daniel draw a choking breath and knew that he lived.
With that treasured knowledge, I welcomed death.

Daniel, our gentle teacher and reluctant leader. Time has changed him, but I hope those things
will never change. He is stronger now, in ways both saddening and heartening. I am glad he has
learned to protect his body, but can see that he has also learned to conceal his innermost
heart. I see it when he speaks of Sha're.like a curtain falling across a doorway. He thinks he
failed her, but I know the truth.nothing could have saved Sha're. Amaunet was most strong,
ancient and powerful in the ways of dominating a host. My demon was young and untested, it was
far easier for me to fight than for Sha're. Daniel did not fail, there was never a chance for a
true battle.

When Daniel told me of Kheb, I remembered something my demon had heard about the place. I did
not know its location, but I did know this world contained a temple with writings which spoke
of it. The language of the Ancients is as much a mystery to the demons as the Tau'ri, but
Daniel was confident he could decipher it.

General Hammond had requested I be brought to Earth to speak of these things and I was
surprised O'Neill was not present when I arrived.he is Daniel's commander and friend. Daniel
told me O'Neill would not be joining us at the meeting or on the mission, but did not explain
why. I could see the pain in Daniel's eyes when he told me General Hammond had decided to send
only the two of us alone. I think it was as much Daniel's decision as the general's. I think
Daniel feared to risk his friends. That thought was affirmed when Daniel tried to persuade me
not to come either, but I have learned enough about my stubborn brother to know how to argue
with Daniel. I believe Daniel thought even then that something would happen here and did not
wish to risk any but himself.

Once we arrived here Daniel seemed to accept my presence. We found the temple without
difficulty and fell into patterns established long ago on Abydos; Daniel studied and recorded
the strange writings while I took care of our physical needs. The natives were quite
hospitable, providing food and quarters without many questions. I know Daniel well enough to
know he will work ceaselessly when faced with a mystery.I have seen it often. Sha're and I
devised many ways of seeing that he would eat and sleep regularly when his mind became so busy
that nothing else would exist for him. It was such a pleasure to return to those patterns, to
the relationship I had thought lost forever.

We found time to talk after the first few days. We spoke of our lives since we parted on
Chulak, of things long past and things painfully fresh. We spoke of Sha're, grieving and
rejoicing together that her beautiful spirit was gone from us but finally.thankfully.free.

One week later, we were nearly finished copying the writings.Daniel was already certain of many
references to Kheb.whe
Fraiser had given him before we left.the pain had come before, but gone fairly quickly. That
attack was frightening. Daniel is as strong as he is intelligent.a quiet strength of spirit
many do not suspect in one so gentle.I have never heard him cry out in such a manner. For many
long minutes he was blinded to everything.he did not seem to feel or hear me as I led him back
to our sleeping rooms. Even Dr. Fraiser's small pills took hours to have any effect on Daniel's
pain. I remembered my mother had such head pain when I was very small.Sha're and our father
would blanket all light from her room and keep me quiet. It seemed to work for Daniel, if only
for a short time. I wanted to return with him to Earth right away, but Daniel insisted we
finish what we had come to do. I promised him we would.

I knew O'Neill would come. I know much of what I feel for O'Neill is what I felt when Daniel
would tell us tales of our heroic ancestors on Earth who fought the demons.but under that I
also know that O'Neill is strong and would never abandon his friends. When Daniel did not
return.O'Neill would come.

Now I almost wish he had not.

Looking toward the hilltop, my heart wants only to flee but knows it cannot.

Heru'ur, hated enemy of my demon.

Heru'ur, who tried before to take the child.

Heru'ur, who stands on the hilltop.with my father in chains.

*****

Chapter 8: Kasuf of Abydos

My sons are here.

I do not understand how I know this, but I am certain of it.

My wild, beautiful Skaara, alive and finally free of his demon as his sister will never be. I
will grieve to my last breath over the loss of my daughter, but offer all thanks to my good
son, Daniel, and his tribe for bringing my other son home to me.

Now we are here and not home. But my sons are here and I will not fear. They will free me.or
will see me die with honor. Those are acceptable choices to me, but I fear they will not be for
my impetuous boys.

Before the revolt against Ra, I feared the energy and rebellion in my Skaara. Even as a child,
he was not the sort of boy who would easily follow.he was a leader in the crib and that never
changed. I felt shame at my own weakness in the face of Skaara's willingness to join the
strangers against Ra. It was not until Daniel.such a quiet boy at first.showed me the face of
my gods that I realized my beliefs, and those of my people, were based on lies.

My children were so much wiser than I.

Even Sha're, my gentle firebrand, fostered a hatred for the 'aliens' who posed as gods in order
to use our people, her passion tempered only by her love for our people. After the defeat of
Ra, it became very obvious, even to these old eyes, that Daniel would remain.the shared joy
that passed from him to my daughter was a breath of rain on the desert. The span of days
between O'Neill's leaving and return were full of new things as Daniel learned more of us than
we were ever allowed to know.and shared it all with a quiet power that earned him a place in
all our hearts. Through his wisdom we discovered a heritage we had never known or expected, a
proud history to supplant the centuries of slavery. I like to believe that in us he discovered
love and belonging, and a strength of spirit even greater than what he already possessed. Much
as I love my daughter's husband, I fear he lacked awareness of his own worth.I like to believe
that we helped him find a measure of it.

I do not see them, but I know they are here. The demon, Heru'ur, believes it.else he would not
have brought me here. I find myself praying to the Allah Daniel calls the One God that O'Neill
is here and can protect my sons from their own misguided loyalty that would deliver them to
this demon for the sake of my life. I do not wish it so. Heru'ur cannot be allowed to take
either of my sons.the battle against the demons is far too important, as is the child.

Daniel and Skaara *must * remain hidden.

Many have died here.for that I am regretful, but in the face of the larger battle nothing is
more important than my sons and O'Neill. They are the strength and wisdom that will defeat the
demons. O'Neill possesses the drive and determination of his people.he is not the sort of man
to accept defeat. Skaara holds his own unique determination.and now the knowledge of his demon.
Daniel remains the wisdom, but now also a sad purpose and stubbornness.he will not yield until
his body fails him or the battle is won. And nothing short of death will deter him from keeping
his final promise to my daughter.

I will not have his fate rest on my poor life.

I will die before that happens.

Heru'ur calls out again for my sons. He threatens my life, but I know he will not kill me yet.
O'Neill will know this as well. As long as I am in his hands, I am a tool for the demon.an
object with which to bargain. If he kills me, my boys are still hidden from him.still beyond
his reach. He will use me to set a trap.I can only hope my boys will not be caught in it.

The battle is all that matters.

My sons must remain free or all will indeed be lost.

*****

Chapter 9: Colonel Jack O'Neill

Big H thinks we're coming out, he'd better recheck his snake-thoughts and try again.

I like Kasuf. Hell, more than like him..but no way in this world or any other is Heru'ur
getting his hands on Skaara or Daniel...and I know Kasuf understands that it just can't happen.

Skaara is straining against my hands, trying to go out there after his father. I'm whispering
to him that now isn't the time, we'll get Kasuf back. Finally I can feel him relax against me,
his eyes looking at me with a trust I can only hope to live up to. I pull him back into the
darkened room and go to Daniel again.

He's awake. "Jack? What is it?"

I let out a deep breath then explain the situation to him. Just as I expected, he tries to get
up.

"We have to go after him, Jack.."

Daniel is pale even in the dim light, but his half-open eyes are full of determination.

"We will, Daniel. Let's just try to do this without getting anybody else captured."

He nods and slips back to lean against the wall. "Any chance of going for help?"

There's that Dr. Jackson military mind at work, again. I shake my head. Heru'ur is bound to
have the gate under guard. The trick's going to be getting out of this village right under his
snaky nose.

I peek out of the window and see the Goa'uld setting up camp on the hilltop. Heru'ur is sitting
on a big throne of a thing.these guys sure believe in bringing along the comforts of home, no
doubt about it. Kasuf is chained to one of the scruffy trees, still looks okay.for now. The few
poor villagers who weren't killed or couldn't run fast enough to escape are being herded into
one of the outbuildings.looks like a couple dozen older folks and a few kids. Damn.better not
tell Daniel or Skaara about that just yet.

For the moment Heru'ur holds all the cards and I'd bet good money he knows it. Kasuf being here
tells me Mr. Earrings has been planning something like this for a while...probably since he
tried to kidnap Sha're's child back on Abydos. With Amaunet and Apophis, please-please-let-him-
be-really-dead-this-time, gone and now with Klorel hopefully still host-less.Heru'ur must
figure the Harsiesis child is up for grabs. He's probably had spies on Abydos and even in
Apophis' own back yard all along. When Skaara returned home for a visit, Heru'ur must've set
this all in motion.

I don't doubt for a minute that he remembers Daniel.and me. Daniel pretty much spit in the
guy's face in that way only Daniel can do.multi-talented, our Daniel. And I did sort of give
Heru'ur something to remember me by. Much as I hate to say it this particular Goa'uld is plenty
smart enough to put two and two together.Kasuf plus Skaara plus me and Daniel plus a missing
kid plus a little snaky espionage has got to add up to trouble for us.

Yeah, by now Heru'ur has to know the kid never was with Apophis and Amaunet. If he was watching
Kasuf, he knew who Skaara was when he showed up back home. He's probably had somebody here
watching Daniel and Skaara for days. He may not know exactly how Daniel figures into all of
this, but he likely figures it's pretty fishy that Daniel was around back when the kid
disappeared.

Daniel is visibly trying to pull himself together.it sure doesn't look easy. His eyes are
unfocused, the hair on his forehead damp with sweat, and his mouth is drawn tight in a way that
tells me he's trying hard to hold back the sounds of pain his body is screaming to release.

I dig into their packs and come up with two first aid kits and an empty bottle of prescription
painkillers. Damn Fraiser anyway, letting Daniel go off-world.without us.in this condition.
There's *got* to be more behind all this than anybody's telling me. I don't care how good a
line of archaeo-bull Daniel ran past Hammond, the old man had to think there was a damn good
reason for putting the SGC's number one resident expert in all things linguistic at risk.

I think maybe.maybe hell.I'm just a little pissed at Daniel, too. But I can't yell at him right
now. I guarantee he knows we *will* be talking about this later. I pass three aspirin out of
the first aid kit to Daniel and he swallows them without comment. He's looking at me like he
expects me to lay into him any minute now.any other time I would, but I just can't look into
those eyes full of physical and emotional pain and think about making it any worse. Colonel
Marshmallow, that's me.

I try to smile reassuringly at him again. "We'll get out of this somehow, Daniel *and * get
Kasuf back."

Daniel nods and motions for me to help him up. "God, I hope so, Jack."

Daniel's pretty shaky and breathing hard, but he manages to stand on his own. It's getting
darker outside so he risks a peek out the window. I see the shadows in his eyes deepen as he
catches sight of Kasuf. Daniel closes his eyes for a moment then looks up at me in question. I
nod my head, promising in the gesture that we aren't going to let anything happen to Kasuf. I
get a tight smile in response and start to feel a little better about the situation. Daniel may
be hurting, but he's focusing on the bigger picture.a determined Daniel is a guy I always want
on my side.

Heru'ur is standing now. That superior tone I remember so well drifts easily down to us. "Dr.
Jackson, Skaara.I know you are aware of my guest. I know what he is.to both of you. You have
until sunrise to come to me freely.or he dies."

Okay, there's the expected ultimatum. These guys must take classes in unoriginal domination. So
we've got until sunrise. Now all we need is a plan.

*****

Chapter 10: Dr. Daniel Jackson

God, this is all my fault.

I set it all in motion. I insisted General Hammond send the others away so they wouldn't fight
me on it.or try to come along. I wanted to do this on my own, I *needed * to.and I can be
pretty damn persuasive when I want to be. Jack and the others have been pretty good about
helping me with the search for the child, but this was far too risky a situation to ask them to
follow me into on a maybe. Skaara, the general and I are the only ones who know this planet is
one of Heru'ur's. I can definitely wait before passing on that bit of information to Jack.

I also fought against Skaara coming along, but once here I was glad he came. Our time here
together has reaffirmed our closeness and sense of family, something I didn't realize how much
I'd missed until I felt it slip back into place. It's almost like those cosmic powers that be
finally decided to let us win one. There will always be a part of me that will wish we could
have won with Sha're, but I know she'd be pleased we saved her brother.

He's changed in some ways. His mastery of English is exceptional and he still retains the
memory of spoken and written Goa'uld. Physically, he hasn't changed at all.courtesy of
Klorel.but he *seems * older. His eyes are dark with things he's only begun to work through.
All the evil he was powerless to prevent his own body from acting out, I can only begin to
imagine how it has wounded his spirit. Skaara was always rather wise beyond his years, but now
it seems he possesses a maturity honed painfully sharp by his time as a prisoner inside of
himself. His entire life had been spent as a slave, except for that one year after Ra, the last
three years as a slave of the worst possible kind. Skaara is a man in a boy's body who must now
reconcile the many fractured shards of his *self * and discover just who he is *now *.

I know I scared him with these headaches. I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but he learned
early on in our year as a family how to cut me off mid guilt trip. The Abydonians aren't very
understanding of self-pity. After thousands of years of slavery, daily reminded of their lot in
life, they adapted an attitude of acceptance one might almost term complacency.if one didn't
take into account their incredible zest for truly living life while they could.

This time here was good for both of us. It helped me remember a few things about myself I'd let
myself forget. I was more than a little aware of how much of *myself *  I was losing with every
day and month and year that passed without finding Sha're and Skaara. I gained so much in those
years.Jack, Sam, Teal'c.but the nature of the *job * took a lot of *me* with it.the me I was on
Abydos. It had come to seem like a dream, an ideal almost.once it was lost I could no sooner
recapture it than I could a waking dream.

A lot of things have changed since then.some good, some not good at all. I'll never know what
might have happened if we'd rescued Sha're and I can't let myself dwell on what-ifs..it's just
too soon and too damn hard to try. For the foreseeable future I can only focus on the *now*.and
right now we've got to find a way to help Kasuf.

Kasuf, my good father. He still is that. Even with Sha're gone, he still sees me as his son. I
like that..so many times lately I've needed that. It's a connection to her, to our lives
together I hope never to lose. He has so much faith in me and my 'tribe' to save them from the
demons.to fulfill my promise to find the boy..

I just wish I could *think *. The headache is easing slightly.which isn't saying much. Jack and
Skaara are giving me nearly identical looks of concern as we sit here waiting for nightfall. I
can't slip anything past the two of them. I'd be mad about that if I weren't so glad they're
both here.

I'll have to ask Jack how he managed to get Hammond to let him come.I should have figured Jack
wouldn't just stay in Florida when he didn't hear from me. The general and I had pretty much
agreed no one else would be risked on this.at least I thought we'd agreed. I wonder how much
trouble Jack's in, and how worried Hammond must have been to send him.

Jack's got a plan. He hasn't gone into any details.to be honest I wasn't in much shape to
listen if he had. Just knowing Jack is here and working on it helps. I know he's worried about
me holding it together long enough to get out of here and get Kasuf back. I wish I could put
his mind at ease on that score..

This is the worst pain I've felt since the withdrawal.I don't even want to compare the two.
Janet says it's some sort of after-effect of Amaunet's attempt to kill me. All I know is it's
getting progressively worse with every attack.and the attacks themselves are coming more often.
It's been two months now and I've gone from one or two episodes a week to almost daily attacks
lasting for hours on end. To be honest I'm more than a little worried myself.

I have to much to do.especially now.to let something like this slow me down. I have a promise
to keep and nothing.nothing.is going to stop me from keeping it.*

*****

Chapter 11: Skaara of Abydos

O'Neill is worried.

He tries to hide it, but his eyes tell everything.

He is afraid for Daniel, as I am. Daniel is working very hard to convince us he is well, it is
not quite a lie. Daniel does not lie.but he is very good at concealing the truth especially as
it concerns himself.

The white pills O'Neill made Daniel take seem to be helping, but the crease between overly
bright eyes speaks of pain beneath the mask Daniel is showing us now. Daniel will put away his
own hurt for the sake of our father, O'Neill seems to recognize this as well.

I fear what Heru'ur intends to do to Kasuf. We have just found one another again, I cannot bear
the thought of losing him.not in this way. Abydos, my home, has become as much a target as
Daniel, O'Neill and now me. If.when.we succeed in retrieving my father, we must find some way
to keep him and my people safe.

None of us is likely to be safe again, not until the last of the demons is destroyed. This
hatred I feel for them is strong.I cannot seem to stop it. I know I must try to keep it
controlled.it cannot be allowed to control me. It would be as complete a possession as that of
the demon. Daniel and I spoke of this a little, the intense feelings we have toward the demons.
He admitted feeling a rage at least the equal of my own.it was not something I expected from
Daniel. He was always the gentlest of us all.it pains me to see the sharp edge of anger
bleeding through his words when he speaks of the demons. One more loss to feed my hatred.

O'Neill looks to both of us, his eyes lingering an extra moment on Daniel's pale face. "We
ready, guys?"

Daniel nods, his body moving with purpose as he rises. I move to stand at his side, sensing
O'Neill's unspoken desire to give Daniel what support we can without implying he cannot fend
for himself. The look of gratitude in O'Neill's eyes tells me I am right. Daniel looks from one
to the other of us and I realize he understands.and accepts it. This concerns me all the
more.it is frighteningly telling of Daniel's frame of mind. He is admitting, however obliquely,
his weakness and I am afraid for him in a way I have not been since the Ha'tak.

O'Neill has noticed it as well and his eyes narrow in concern. This is *not * the Daniel we
know so well. O'Neill seems to gather his own thoughts and strength before motioning us to the
rear window. We have been watching that area since sunset.there has been no movement there.
O'Neill believes we can run from here to the stream without being observed from the hilltop. If
we can make it to the stream, the water is deep enough to float us away from view where we may
come ashore and make our way around Heru'ur and his Jaffa. It will be difficult, the water is
cold and swift-running, but as O'Neill says.we have no other options.

I can hear Daniel draw a shuddering breath and vow to stay with him, whatever may happen.
O'Neill climbs silently out the window and Daniel follows just as quietly. I pass the packs to
O'Neill and join them outside. The moonlight glows dully behind sparse clouds, bright enough to
help us see our way, but not so bright as to make us visible to those who might be watching. We
move low to the ground, keeping our footsteps soft and nearly silent. We reach the stream
within minutes and O'Neill slips into the water, guarding our entry with his "zat gun". Daniel
draws air sharply as he enters the stream, but quiets himself immediately. I join them in the
water and we slowly immerse ourselves up to our necks.keeping the packs as much out of the
water as possible, moving slowly downstream with a care born of the need for silence.

We make good progress. I begin to relax when we move beyond the view of the village. O'Neill
motions for us to continue a little further. O'Neill keeps looking back at us as if to reassure
himself, Daniel seems to be doing quite well though his breathing is somewhat strained. There
is little we can do now except keep moving and get out of the icy water as quickly as possible.

O'Neill leads us further, several more minutes, then points to a flat area on the streambank.
We make our way to it and climb out. O'Neill scans the area quickly then reaches down to help
Daniel rise. Daniel is shaking, whether from the cold or a return of the pain I do not know. I
see a dark place among the rocks and point it out to O'Neill. We help Daniel into the small
cavern and he slumps to the ground, hands going to his head as he stifles a moan. O'Neill hands
me the weapon and sinks to the ground beside Daniel.

"Danny?"

O'Neill's voice once again holds the same note of love and caring I heard when he found us in
the village. I had not realized how very much my other friend had changed in our time apart.
O'Neill has learned to open his heart, even as Daniel has learned to close his. I cannot help
but wonder at the differences in both of them. O'Neill moves his hands to stroke Daniel's
forehead with a gentleness I have never seen in him before. I smile in the near darkness, my
friends are well-matched.and have found in each other a comfortable balance, a counterpoint
they probably did not realize how desperately they needed.

Daniel sighs deeply. "Thanks, Jack. I'm okay."

I can see O'Neill's eyes roll in disbelief, but he only nods. "Let's get into some dry clothes
and get some rest. Tomorrow's going to be a long day."

I reach for my pack and pass the clothing to them, moving to the cavern entrance to keep watch
while they change. I can hear their soft voices, O'Neill's gently cajoling as he helps Daniel
who responds with soft acceptance. I think Daniel would only allow this from O'Neill.  There is
no barrier of pride between them.they know each other too well for such things. It is very
strange to watch them together in this setting. During the Triad, I could see them working
together, each in his own unique way, to defend my right to my own body, but this is different.
Now they interact as friends of the soul, heart to heart..

My own heart is glad for them.

I smile again in the darkness, suddenly much more optimistic about what tomorrow might bring.

*****

Chapter 12: Colonel Jack O'Neill

I need to get Daniel home.

He's finally asleep after another handful of aspirin.at this rate they'll be gone in two
days.not that we have two days. Now all I have to do is figure out a way to get past Heru'ur,
get Kasuf back, get to the gate, and get Daniel back to Doc Fraiser.

Piece of cake.

I'm starting to think Fraiser's wrong about these headaches. Daniel's always had more than his
share of garden-variety stress headaches.hell he works himself to a frazzle at the drop of an
artifact.but I've never seen him like this. I'm no stranger to migraine pain myself...this
ain't it. When the pain's at its worst he's actually running a fever and I've seen him holding
his chest several times tonight when he thought no one was looking. I need to get him to Doc.

Now.just how are you going to manage it, O'Neill?

According to Skaara, we've got about seven more hours of darkness. If Heru'ur keeps his
promise, he'll kill Kasuf at sunrise. I can't let myself believe he'll actually do it. Kasuf is
his only real bargaining chip, he loses his power over us if Kasuf dies, but that won't stop
old snake face from hurting Kasuf to make us do what he wants. There's also the matter of those
innocent people locked up in the village. I know I come from a different sort of place than
Daniel and Skaara, but one thing I *do* know.I can't just stand by and watch Kasuf be harmed.
Just like I can't let Heru'ur get his hands on any of us.

I never used to have these kinds of conversations with myself.things were clear-cut, good guys
lived-bad guys died, orders were orders.no matter who got hurt. I can't do that anymore. It
*does * matter.a hell of a lot more than I would ever have imagined pre-Stargate years. Things
changed for me then, life got.bigger..

Of course, three years of exposure to a walking conscience probably didn't hurt. I make jokes
about it, but Daniel really is that.and more. It really didn't even take three years for me to
realize that about him. Hell, the first.no second.mission out found him in my face and
definitely, stubbornly in the way of my usual, bulldozer's-got-nothing-on-me tactics. I caved
on that one, I'm still not sure why.and was glad when it turned out Daniel was right. Pissed,
but glad. Little did I know it was just the beginning of our 'battles'.battles I gradually
learned really were worth the time, the energy and the passion we brought to them. Sometimes I
was right, sometimes he was.which is the way it should be. And I like to think I've changed
enough to bring some hopeful realism into the mix. I know there's been more than a few times
lately when Daniel has surprised me by coming up with some downright masterful.though often
painful.strategies, getting that communication device from Apophis was just one. The point is
we've both grown.

Boy, does that hurt to admit..

Daniel shifts a little in his sleep and I bend over to check him. He's hot again. Skaara rolls
over and looks up at us, his eyes begging the question. I just shrug my shoulders at him, it
isn't good.but damned if I know how to help Daniel.

Skaara sits up, drawing the space blanket over his shoulders. God, he looks so young.even now.
I know that's just an illusion. His eyes aren't young anymore...I doubt they ever will be
again.

"What will we do, O'Neill?" he whispers. His eyes are on Daniel, but I know he's talking about
more than just our friend.

I shake my head, I know Skaara's not the wide-eyed hero worshipping kid he was three years ago,
but I can see in his eyes the absolute faith in me.the expectation that I *will * come up with
some way to make all this right. He still believes in me.but I don't know if I deserve it.

I just can't admit to him that I still don't have a clue.

*****

Chapter 13: Lord Heru'ur of the Goa'uld

These Tau'ri *will* be mine.

When I first plotted to gain control of the Harsiesis child at its birth I had thought the plan
to be more than elegant in its simplicity. Amaunet's host's planet was absurdly vulnerable.
Little did I suspect that two Tau'ri and one of my own Jaffa would prove so irritating. Of
course, once I identified the two Tau'ri, I soon realized that the apparently traitorous Jaffa
was the Shol'va, Teal'c.

The Tau'ri.

They had to be the same Tau'ri who escaped me on Cimmeria..and destroyed my plans to take over
the Asgard protectorate. The Shol'va had been recognized by my Jaffa, it is commonly known he
has joined the Tau'ri against us. There has been a price on the heads of those Tau'ri since
they destroyed Apophis' Ha'tak vessels before they could remove the First World from our midst.
I have no particular love for Apophis.quite the opposite.but the fact they *achieved * such a
thing marked them as a danger to us all. When Apophis set a price on the heads of the Tau'ri
responsible and broadcast their likenesses, I recognized my own personal irritations rather
quickly.

Dr. Daniel Jackson, so full of arrogant defiance on the slave's planet, Abydos.knowing even
then the child was hidden from Apophis and me, and Colonel Jack O'Neill, who broached my
personal shields and caused me such pain as I had not known for a very long time.

It took very little investigation to discover Dr. Jackson's slave of a wife was after all
Amaunet's host. Information from a few well-placed spies helped me construct a plan to retrieve
the child of Amaunet and Apophis, I already knew the child was not with them. The relationship
between Klorel and Amaunet's hosts was easily discovered.as was the fact that Jackson had been
present at Amaunet's well-deserved demise. She thought herself clever for taking the
Abydonians, but I knew her true purpose.the child.

My spy on the Abydos, discovered something far more personal to despise the Tau'ri for.they
were the one's who killed my father and mother. I had no familial loyalty toward Ra, I may in
fact have killed him myself given time, but it was my right to do so. The same could be said of
Hathor.though we did have a rather more congenial relationship. I would have killed her easily
enough had she attempted to stand in my way.but again, it was *my* right.not theirs.

The Asgard treaty prevented me from acting upon my desire for vengeance in a more direct
fashion, but I have learned over the generations the value of good information. When Klorel was
separated from his host, I knew the host's eventual destination would be the slave
planet.Abydos. I knew the host's father would be a weakness for both him *and* the Tau'ri, Dr.
Jackson.it is a useful weakness indeed this *emotion*. The one certain tool to their
downfall.thus my need for the slave, Kasuf.

I owe these Tau'ri much pain. They have thwarted my plans in ways they could not begin to know.
I will see them suffer for their insolence, suffer until they reveal the child's location.and
then I will see them die.

*****

Chapter 14: General George Hammond

I've been so wrong about this.

Umpteen years in a position of command and I let myself be bushwhacked by an idealistic
academic on a mission.

Must be Colonel O'Neill's influence.

Sure it might be a little risky, General, but the natives are friendly. Just a week or so, in
and out for the transcription. And oh, yeah, General.you know Jack won't let me go off alone.
Isn't there somewhere you can send SG1 while I'm gone? Sure this is one of Heru'ur's
planets.and no I haven't forgotten about the bounty on our heads if we're caught on a Goa'uld
world, but Skaara says Heru'ur hasn't been there for hundreds of years. My head ache? Nothing
at all, sir.maybe I just need new glasses?

The condensed version sounds even worse than the reality. Dr. Daniel Jackson in full lecture
mode can turn a simple grocery list into a major dissertation. Then he turns that earnest,
intelligent stare at you and you wind up buying the whole load of goods sight unseen for twice
the price you thought you were paying. And damned if I didn't buy into it like a first-year
cadet.

I just hope Dr. Jackson isn't the one who ends up paying the ultimate price.

It's not Dr. Fraiser's fault the test results got mislaid.

One of the conditions I put on Dr. Jackson's trip was that he submit to a full physical with
all the trimmings before he left. Dr. Fraiser and I were both pretty surprised at how quickly
he agreed. We *thought* everything had come back clean, although his blood pressure was
slightly elevated..little wonder considering the stress he's been under lately. Beyond her
expected protests, Dr. Fraiser couldn't give me any concrete reason why I shouldn't let him go
on this mission and I felt a lot better about it when Skaara rather forcefully invited himself
along.pointing out to me that I couldn't order him not to..and assuring me he could handle any
and all of "Danyer's" protests. Damned if the kid didn't do it, too. So Skaara went ahead to
Abydos to get his things together and Dr. Jackson followed the next day.and somehow, I actually
managed to convince myself it would be okay.

I am a two star idiot.

Now Dr. Fraiser tells me the missing test shows some kind of abnormality on Dr. Jackson's
brain. Good news would be a brain abscess, which can be treated with mega-doses of
antibiotics.bad news a tumor, which I refuse to even consider.and there's no way to find out
until we get him back here for more tests. Either way, the longer he goes without treatment,
the worse it's going to be.

Dr. Fraiser tells me abscesses can result from previous injuries or infections, she's thinking
of the situation with the ribbon-device or the alien devices used on us during the foothold
situation.Hell, it could be nothing more exotic than an infection brought on by his allergies.
First order of business is to get him back here.ASAP.

Colonel O'Neill's been gone a little over twenty four hours, if he were able to get them back
he'd have done it by now.

It's two p.m. in DC, I can have Carter and Teal'c back here by dinnertime. I hit the buzzer and
tell Harriman to find Ferretti, then reach for the phone to arrange a jet to bring the rest of
SG1 back.

One way or another.we're going to get our boy home.

*****

Chapter 15: Dr. Daniel Jackson

I don't know how Jack thinks we're going to pull this one off.

He says we can do it and I really *want* to believe him, but I just don't see how the three of
us can hope to go up against twenty-odd Jaffa with just Jack's zat and my pistol. But we have
to get Kasuf back..

I can't lose him too..

I haven't told Jack just how sick I've been feeling since I woke up. It's all I can do to keep
putting one foot in front of the other. The pain is dulled by the aspirin, but so constantly
*there* it's hard to concentrate. Jack and Skaara are both giving me their own versions of the
'look'... I don't mind it so much though. I never thought to see that look.or any other not
tainted by the Goa'uld inside him. in Skaara's eyes again. I just wish I wasn't the cause of
it.

We're making our way around the hill where Heru'ur is encamped. Skaara says we have about two
hours until sunrise. I'll take his word for it. I'm just trying to stay focused on Jack's back,
placing my feet in his footsteps. If this plan fails, I don't want it to be because of me.

We reach a small copse of brush about twenty yards from Heru'ur's tent. Kasuf is chained to a
tree a few yards beyond that. Jack points out the Stargate just beyond the trees on the other
side of the encampment. Jack starts to use those little hand gestures to outline his plan, then
stops at our blank looks and sighs, looking almost apologetic. I've come to understand some of
them, but Skaara is totally lost.

" Sorry," he whispers. " Skaara, your job is to get Kasuf loose and run for the gate. Whatever
happens, don't stop.and don't look back."

Jack throws me a look. I know what he's thinking.we're almost certain to be captured or killed,
but Skaara has the best chance to get Kasuf out of here. I nod my understanding to him. I can
live with this plan.as long as Skaara and Kasuf have a chance. Skaara glances from one to the
other of us, nodding. He knows.

Jack catches my eye with a quirk of an eyebrow, asking if I'm up for this. I can't honestly say
that I am, but I'm as ready as I *can* be.whatever may happen.

Skaara hesitates, catching my eye with an expression full of love and regret. As I watch it
shifts to determination..reflecting that inner strength I remember relying on so much. We hug
for a long moment and he whispers an Abydonian farewell into my ear.the farewell of travelers
vowing to meet again. I return the sentiment and feel the heat of emotion in my throat. Jack
makes a small noise, indicating the skyline.we don't have much time. Skaara embraces Jack, then
fades into the bushes.

I hope he makes it. We have to make sure he does.

Jack gives me another look, in the starlight I can see him checking me out with evident
concern.

"I'll make it, Jack," I assure him. "Just tell me where to shoot."

He laughs softly at that and clasps my shoulders, squeezing lightly in a way that says more to
me than words ever could. I return the touch, knowing he'll understand. Jack nods and helps me
stand. It's time.

Whatever happens.at least we're together

*****

Chapter 16: Major Louis Ferretti

Damn.

This just keeps getting worse and worse..

Damn, damn, damn...

The colonel is going to freak when he finds out about this. It was bad enough they sent Daniel
out without back-up, but now we know he's out there somewhere with some kind of time bomb in
his head.and the only real difference is whether it's a short fuse or a long one..

I pat the med-pak Fraiser gave me earlier. Just in case we can't get Daniel back right away.
Just in case it's the long fuse time bomb.please God, let it be that one..

This can't be happening to Daniel. The poor guy just can't seem to catch a break. I am *so*
sick of seeing him get one raw deal after another. Hell, I've never been a big believer in the
fairness of life in general, but damn it all, this just isn't right.

My team is ready to go, we're just waiting for Carter and Teal'c to join us. I can see them up
there in the briefing room right now, geared up and getting the bad news from Hammond. Even
from down here I can see the both of them look like they've just been run over by a very big,
very malicious truck.

I sure do know *that* feeling.

This whole situation just plain sucks..big time.

Okay, they're moving now. I give my guys the signal and they start their weapons check. I've
got a great bunch here, we are *the* best at what we do..if I do say so myself. Next to SG1,
we've got the best record going. Not to mention the fact that we're one of the few teams with
all its original members intact.well since I took command, anyway. This is a high risk, high
stress business.you've got to be damn good or damn lucky to keep each other in one
piece.physically and mentally.in this business for this long. I like to think we're a whole lot
of both.

Carter and Teal'c join us. Carter's lips are set in a grim line, she's worried as hell but
ready to go get the job done. Teal'c.man..I've never seen the big guy look like this..not even
after Amaunet. His whole body is strung as tight as an arrow in a bowstring, ready to be shot
through the gate and straight to Daniel.

Those two never stop surprising me.Teal'c and Daniel. They've found something in each other
that not even the worst crap can keep down for long. It's pretty amazing really when you think
about it. Who'd have ever imagined they could become so close? The geeky idealistic scholar and
the rigid warrior whose actions...however well meaning or unintentional.brought an awful lot of
grief down on Daniel. I know it's not as simple as all that, I know there's whole lot more to
both of them than I'll ever know.but I still think it's pretty incredible.

The gate rings start spinning and we take our positions. It's time to go. The wormhole settles
down and we step through.

.into hell.

A goddamn firefight.

There are four.no, five.Jaffa on the ground and it looks like maybe a dozen more trying to find
cover among the scruffy trees between us and.

Oh, hell.

O'Neill's head pops up from behind a bunch of brush and takes down another Jaffa with a double
zat blast. Where one of them is the other can't be far and sure enough Daniel's head comes out
of hiding and fires off two pistol rounds before disappearing again. I point them out to Carter
and Teal'c and get ready to deploy my team when I see Skaara and his father break from the
trees heading straight for us.

I send Sanders and James to help them while we lay down a cover fire. Carter hunkers down with
Skaara for a minute and yells that we have to get Skaara and Kasuf out of here. I give her the
thumbs up and signal for James to dial it up. Carter makes her way back to me and explains
Kasuf had been taken hostage by Heru'ur to capture our guys. Can't say I've had the
displeasure, but I've heard a lot of nasty things about this guy.

I look around in time to see Sanders step through the wormhole with one hand on Kasuf's
shoulder. I signal James to go through with Skaara, he hesitates.not wanting to leave us, but I
signal again and he starts through. At he very last moment, Skaara jerks out James' grip and
pushes him through.breaking for us at a dead run. A staff blast comes close enough to give the
kid a sunburn as he dives into the dirt next to me.

This kid always did have more guts than a damn regiment of marines.

"What the hell are you doing, Skaara?" I yell at him, but I can feel the big grin on my face.

Skaara gives me those big worried eyes. "I will not leave Danyer.."

There's not much I can say about that.I know exactly what he means. The trick's going to be
getting Daniel and the colonel from over *there* to over *here* through a wall of ten...no,
nine.Jaffa and a pretty pissed off Goa'uld. Heru'ur's standing there beside his tent looking
madder by the minute while he watches his Jaffa drop like flies. I can see his ribbon device
activate while his beady little eyes search for a target.

I motion for Teal'c to take his best shot with his staff. I hold my breath as I watch the blast
explode against Heru'r's side. He manages to stay on his feet and whirls around to look at us
with the kind of glare that could almost kill on its own. The ribbon device focuses on us. I
shout a warning and brace against the wall of energy I know is coming.

Carter, Teal'c, Skaara, and I are pushed back to the DHD, a little ruffled but not too badly
hurt. Malcolm and Santos were out of range and lay down some lead to cover us until we can get
behind the DHD. Heru'ur is royally ticked now and he concentrates his Jaffa on our position. I
can see what he's trying to do.force us back until we either run out of places to hide or have
to dial back out. I motion for Carter to do just that.we need that option open.

Teal'c taps me on the shoulder and I see the colonel coming around the back of the hillside,
holding onto Daniel.who doesn't look too hot, he's barely keeping his feet under himself. We
intensify our fire and I recall Santos and Malcolm to help us here.

The colonel and Daniel are forty yards out when the gate starts to fluctuate.it's now or never.

I order my guys through, and we back up to the wormhole still firing.

Thirty yards.

A blast hits the DHD. The wormhole jumps again and I push Carter through.Man, she's going to be
ticked at me.

Twenty yards.

C'mon, Colonel..

A blaze of staff fire tears up the ground between us and the colonel has to stop.

He gives us a look.God, I hate that look.and motions for us to get out.

I look at Teal'c and Skaara.

It's a no-brainer really.

We step off the gate platform and run like hell for our friends.

*****

Chapter 17: Colonel Jack O'Neill

God.no.

Get the hell out of here, guys.

I should have known they wouldn't go.

Teal'c is beside me in less than a minute, lifting Daniel onto his shoulder and running with
him while Ferretti and Skaara cover our six. The staff blasts are close, but we manage to stay
ahead of them and finally reach the trees. I motion for them to keep going, the cavern we spent
the night in isn 't far. Skaara moves up beside me.probably expecting me to be mad at him.
Hell, I never could stay mad at him when he looked at me like that. I give him a smile and clap
his shoulder as we run. I'm not exactly happy he didn't get away while he could.but I sure as
hell understand it.

At least Kasuf is safe now.

Damn, I wish we could have got Daniel through. So close.

Ferretti keeps looking back at me like he's got something to say. Something' s wrong.or at
least more wrong than it already is. He'll tell me when we get under cover. Skaara moves ahead
to show Teal'c the way through the brush, wish I had half the energy the kid's got.

I pretty much thought we were dead back there, Daniel did too. When Skaara got those chains off
and took off with Kasuf, I had definite visions of Butch and Sundance in my head. I've got to
admit I was pretty surprised by Daniel; he really pulled it together even when I could see
every gunshot was like a spike into his head. He did it, though.just like I he always does when
he has to. But by the time we headed around the back of the hill toward the gate, he just
couldn't hold on anymore. He tried to get me to go on without him.like that was going to
happen. He ought to know how impossible that was.for such a brainy guy he really needs to buy a
few clues when it comes to friendship. He's learning.but sometimes he just doesn't get the
point. I left him behind before.I swore I never would again.

He's going to be doubly ticked off to see the others here. Teal'c, I expected it from.Ferretti,
I guess I really shouldn't be surprised.Daniel works his magic in the most unexpected places.
Too bad he doesn't even realize what it is he does that makes people either like him.or totally
hate him. Funny the ones I'd least suspect are the ones who usually wind up liking him. *I'm*
not even sure what it is.just that it's something I wish I could have more of..

We get inside the cavern and Teal'c and Skaara get Daniel settled in a corner while Ferretti
pulls me off to the entrance. I've got a bad feeling about this.

He starts out slow, giving me a look like he's wondering when I'm going to punch him..

Oh, shit. Holy living shit..

This can't be right.

Why in hell didn't Fraiser catch this weeks ago?

I really do want to hit something about now.

Dammit!

Ferretti's going on about some medicine in his pack. Okay, I can do this. We give Daniel the
meds like Fraiser said and hope like hell it's just an abscess. Right. I can do this. Jesus, I
just hope the DHD isn't permanently damaged. One good thing.if it is then Heru'ur can't send
for reinforcements that way, and it would take awhile to get a ship here.I hope.

I nod at Ferretti to let him know I'm.sort of.calm now.

We've all got to hold it together now if we're going to help Daniel.

*****

Chapter 18: Teal'c of SG1, formerly of Chu'lak

I have failed my friend.

Daniel Jackson must return to the SGC and the doctors there.I must ensure it.

He appears so pale, lines of pain exist even as he sleeps. Major Ferretti has administered the
first doses of Dr. Fraiser's medications. Medications we cannot be certain will even help.

I do not understand Daniel Jackson's actions here. We should have been here with him. I can see
from O'Neill's expression he does not believe Daniel Jackson should have been here at all. He
was ill when we left him to go on these pointless errands.  He should never have come within
Heru'urs grasp with only Skaara for protection. I mean no disservice to the young Abydonian,
but he was ill-prepared to face what has happened here.

Daniel Jackson would certainly not approve of my thoughts.he does not feel he requires
protection. Yet I know that he does. Not because he cannot look after himself, but because he
deserves it. I have found no better human.save O'Neill. Humans such as Daniel Jackson must be
protected, there are so few of them in my experience.and it will be him and others like him who
will finally and totally defeat the evil that is the Goa'uld.

And he is my friend.

One of the few I perceive as such.

I will not lose him while it is in my power to prevent it.

O'Neill sits against the wall near Daniel Jackson, ostensibly resting.but I know he will awaken
immediately when the need arises. Major Ferretti has gone to scout the perimeter with Skaara
while I watch over my friends' rest. Heru'ur has been gravely injured, if the DHD is damaged,
he will call for a transport to take him to a sarcophagus. Major Ferretti was quite sure there
were only eight Jaffa left alive. They will not leave Heru'ur, it would be as much as their
lives are worth to part from their fallen god. They will guard him until he can be brought to
help, I am certain of it.

I can hear Major Ferretti and Skaara returning, their slow pace telling me all is well. O'Neill
opens his eyes as I move back into the small cave to allow them entry.

"They are gone!" Skaara exclaims with a smile.

Major Ferretti's expression tells me there is less welcome news. "The DHD doesn't work. Heru'ur
transported out through some of those rings and took all his guys with him. Guess he knows we
can't go anywhere while he's gone."

O'Neill nods, his face still although his eyes rage coldly. "Feretti, why don't you and Skaara
go down and keep an eye on the gate? Stay out of sight but be handy in case they open it from
their side. We need to let them know *not* to come back through.and a portable super-computer
would come in mighty handy about now."

Major Ferretti smiles tightly. "Will do."

"We'll relieve you in a couple of hours if necessary." O'Neill stands and stretches. "Be
careful. After meeting Heru'ur, the natives might not be inclined to be quite so trusting."

The major nods again and they depart.

O'Neill moves to sit beside Daniel Jackson, a hand reaching to check for fever. "What do we do,
Teal'c?"

I am unsure which situation he is referring to, but can only consider one answer.

"We help Daniel Jackson."

*****

Chapter 19: Kasuf of Abydos

I should have known they would not leave me.

But it cannot have been at the cost of their own lives.

My heart soared at the sight of Skaara's face when he appeared at my side to free me from the
demon's chains. It was even more wonderful to run at his side as we did when we drove Ra from
our midst forever. It was only when I realized our escape was being guarded by my other son and
O'Neill that my joy diminished. I did not want to accept the cost of my freedom. When the other
Tau'ri appeared through the Chaap'ai my hope was reborn.

I waited with General Hammond as the Chaap'ai sprang to life again. Carter returned, then two
of the soldiers.but the blue waters died without bring forth any others. General Hammond
attempted to reopen the Chaap'ai three times before admitting defeat. Carter believes one of
the Jaffa weapons may have "over loaded" the device.that it may reopen once the energy fades. I
pray she is right.

Carter escorted me to the same doctor.Janet.who was so kind to me after my Sha're died. I did
not know what to think of a female healer, but she was very patient with me and pronounced me
well. From there my lovely guide brought me to the eating place and joined me for a meal.

It was then that she spoke of Daniel.

I could hear the sadness in her voice as she told me of this illness that plagues my son. I
will not accept this. Daniel is not my son by birth.but by my heart's choice. Even had he not
married my daughter it would have been so. This cannot happen. O'Neill, Carter, Teal'c, Janet,
General Hammond, Ferretti.my son's tribe..will find a means to prevent it.

Carter was so distraught as I told her this I felt compelled to embrace her.to allow her to
weep in the presence of one who cares for Daniel as much as she. I told her that even warriors
must grieve.so they may move on to action. She smiled at the words, tears still flowing, and
told me I sounded like Daniel. I replied that Daniel was a good son and had learned well from
me. We both laughed in the face of our fear.joined in that one timeless moment by our love for
my son.

Then it was time to try again to reach them.

The Chaap'ai opened and one of the wheeled machines went into it. Carter said it was safer to
do this as we could not know what may have happened after we left. She showed me the images of
the place we had been. The device which controls the Chaap'ai was clearly damaged. Within a few
moments a voice called for General Hammond.Ferretti, the one who fought with us against Ra and
then again so bravely when my children were taken.

He tells us Heru'ur was wounded and has left them.but he believes the demon will return when
healed, They are safe for the moment. Janet asks about Daniel. Ferretti tells us they are
giving my son medicine, but Daniel is far from well.

Part of me wants to return there to be with my sons.but I know I cannot.

General Hammond tells Ferretti they will find a way to bring them home.I can see in his eyes
that he wants this to be true. He is a caring and wise leader he will not rest until our
missing men.our family.returns.

I think none of them will.

*****

Chapter 20: Skaara of Abydos

Daniel sleeps.

Ferretti is giving him more of the doctor's medicines through a tube stuck into his hand and I
think perhaps it is those which keep him asleep. I am glad if it spares him pain, but wish he
were awake. There is such fear in everyone's eyes...as I am sure it is in mine. It is far more
difficult to keep our minds from Daniel's fate now that we have so little to occupy us.

We have made a proper encampment of this small cave with the supplies General Hammond sent to
us...blankets, food, clothing, weaponry...as well as more medicines for Daniel. The doctor gave
Ferretti much instruction on how to help Daniel. Major Carter has sworn she will find a way to
bring us back and I believe her.

Teal'c and O'Neill have assembled small beds for us all and there is now a portable heater to
warm the damp air. Ferretti is cooking a kind of soup he calls 'chili' and jokes that it will
burn as strongly as my moonshine. I smile at the memory and tell them the story of how Daniel
taught me to make it.

Daniel had spoken of the many helpful uses for such a liquid...to clean wounds, to sterilize
objects, to dull pain...but finally, reluctantly admitted to me it was also a drink similar to
our neshya wine albeit much stronger. Being young and adventurous, I could not resist trying it
first myself. I remember very little of the experience...only the terrible sickness the
following morning. I woke to find Daniel hovering over me with a disturbingly sympathetic smile
and the reminder that I *had* been warned.

Daniel had laughed gently and told me moonshine should be weakened with water before drinking.
He then proceeded to explain the "finer points of social drinking". At the time I did not
totally understand his words, but, as brothers will, I took them to heart and never drank the
pure moonshine again.

"No, you saved that for unsuspecting visitors like me," O'Neill says softly, smiling for the
first time since Ferretti told us of Daniel's illness.

I return his smile, then feel a heavy sadness come over me. That day, that memory was the last
joy I knew until the moment I spoke in my own voice and begged the Tollans for help. My eyes
burn at the thought. In the prison of my soul I was locked in a world of ultimate madness,
forced to contend with thoughts so horrendous I constantly wished for the release of
death...knowing it might never come. Only by focusing what remained of myself on the memories
of Abydos, and on learning all I could of the demons in some distant hope it could someday be
used against them was I able to maintain some measure of 'Skaara'...who I was...who I am now.

The darkness came very close to destroying me.

Only the light and love of Abydos, of my father, my sister, my brother, and O'Neill kept me
from becoming truly lost. I am free now. Yet I wonder if...No, I know...my life will never be
as sweet again. Life...everything I had ever known of it...changed while I was imprisoned...it
can never return to what it once was and neither can I.

Warmth touches my bowed head. O'Neill. I look up to see understanding in his eyes...and
something more...as he moves to leave the cave. I look to Teal'c, so silent and supportive, but
he shakes his head once before looking toward Daniel.

I understand.

Teal'c knows that which I am only now learning. More has changed in my absence than just what I
perceive in relation to myself. Daniel has touched many more lives than just us...his family on
Abydos.

He has become a part of something even greater...something strong and real and unstoppable.
Something that will one day defeat the demons because it cannot perceive anything less.
Something of which Daniel is a vital and irreplaceable part.

Daniel must not be lost.

*****

Chapter 21: Colonel Jack O'Neill

I don't have time for this.

Daniel doesn't have time for this so stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something,
O'Neill...

But that's the problem isn't it? No way to fight this for him. No real way to help him fight
for himself. I can 'be there'...but what real good is that going to do?

I guess that's the thing it all comes down to...

I mean, beyond the friendship thing, what if this whatever in his head...whichever whatever it
is...really is going to kill him? What can I do for him except stick with him, be there, watch
him die...?

God...

There's two words I never like to connect in my brain. Daniel, death...definitely not a good
combo. Pretty damn unthinkable when you get down to it. I mean four years we've known each
other now and yet it feels like I've always known him, always had that piercing stare at my
side keeping me honest, keeping me on my toes. Funny how all that boiled down to one of the
best friendships I've ever known. He expects certain things from me, things I really didn't
even know were in there. He doesn't even have to say a word...just give me that sideways, big-
eyed...look...and I know he sees something inside me, something...good. And it makes me want to
be just that. Something more, something better...

Let's face it, there are times in my life I'd just as soon forget, stuff I'm less than proud
of, stuff that makes me sick when I let myself think about it. It's not just a matter of honor,
duty, country...more like get them before they get you, follow orders regardless of personal
thoughts, feelings or beliefs. It was becoming so lost in those things that you forget what
sort of person you once were in those innocent days when conflict was little more than deciding
where to go on a Saturday night. It was more than just a loss of innocence, it was a loss of
identity...a loss of Jack O'Neill, son of Jake and Gloria from the South side of the Windy
City.

Daniel helped...helps...me find that guy again. With Daniel I'm not 'Colonel ' or 'commander'
or 'protector' or 'defender'...I'm just 'Jack'. Jack of the bad puns, of the rough affection,
of the tough moments when no one else can really understand what he's feeling, of the late
nights spent doing nothing more than sitting together on my roof looking at the stars because
he just can't spend another night alone. I'm just Jack to Daniel...and that makes me happy.
It's so nice now to know I *can* be just me...it was a real surprise to discover I really was
still in there underneath all the crap I let take the place of 'me'. I can't lose that now, I
can't lose *him* now.

I keep praying Carter will come up with something. Hell, all we need is a powerful enough power
source, then when can dial out manually. She's got to do it. Soon.  I know she and her team
have been weeks on that naquada reactor we got from the Orbanians. Last report I had said it
was at the testing stage. Hopefully this situation qualifies as sufficient to warrant a field
trial.

He's barely been conscious since we came back up here to the cave. He didn't so much as stir
when we finally got the cots put together and moved him onto one. Teal'c wakes him up every so
often to make him drink something, but half the time he doesn't even open his eyes. Ferretti
says Fraiser told him to keep Daniel on those painkillers religiously, so I guess this is
normal...but it's also pretty damn scary.

I never have liked seeing Daniel still. I know it didn't...doesn't, dammit stop thinking past
tense...always seem like it, but half of Daniel's means of expressing himself is in his eyes
and hands. They always tell as much or more than his words. And now he and everything that
makes him *him* is so much a part of my world I can't begin to imagine life any other way.

I don't want to.

"O'Neill!"

Skaara's voice.

Stark fear leaps into my throat and I try without much success to swallow it back down. My body
starts to move me back to the cave even as my mind refuses to allow my heart to jump to any
conclusions as to what's going on.

Daniel's okay...that's as simple as it is.

I won't let him be anything else.

It just can't happen.

I won't let it.

*****

Chapter 22: Teal'c of SG1, formerly of Chulak

I am afraid.

In my many years as a Jaffa there has been very little capable of causing this feeling in me. I
felt it the day my father died, the day I returned home to find my family gone, the day my son
fell under the spell of Apophis. There have been other times revolving around some threat to my
friends, but few so completely unnerving.

I must sit here watching Daniel Jackson sleep so quietly, stirring only occasionally when the
pain attempts to break through the wall of ease the drugs impose. Major Ferretti checks the
intravenous solutions often, far more often than is probably necessary, but I understand well
the fascination of watching each precious drop flow through the tubing making its way all too
slowly into Daniel Jackson's arm. I try to imagine the fluid coursing its way into his
bloodstream, seeking out this enemy within his body and attacking it with a determination
worthy of Daniel Jackson himself.

Major Ferretti tends to Daniel Jackson with a gentleness I would not have expected from him. He
is a good man and clearly cares quite deeply for Daniel Jackson, it is eloquently present in
his every gesture as he performs the tasks Dr. Fraiser has charged him with. Although this is
not an area he would otherwise choose for himself, he goes about it with a certain cautious
optimism. It is clear that he chooses to believe these medicines will be helpful to Daniel
Jackson's condition. I wish to believe it as well.

Skaara has finally succumbed to sleep. I am somewhat surprised he has not done so sooner. He
was tending to Daniel Jackson for several days before O'Neill arrived and has had little
respite since. The young Abydonian is far stronger now than when I last saw him on Tollana, he
has regained his strength as well as the strength of his personality. It is a difficult thing
to regain one's identity after being possessed by a Goa'uld.and rarely successful...many go mad
or simply succumb to the near impossibility of returning to their former lives. I have heard
many tales of such things, few of them end well.

O'Neill has yet to return. We are much alike in that we both are more at ease with taking
action. There is no action for us to perform here...other than seeing to Daniel Jackson's
comfort and safety. It is not enough, which is why O'Neill seeks solitude. He must come to some
sort of peace with this situation...as must I.

Daniel Jackson stirs. I soothe his brow again with the moist cloth expecting him to return to
sleep as he has done before. He does not. His eyes open and he looks around himself slowly,
taking in his very much altered surroundings. His gaze finally returns to me.

"Guess it's a lengthy tale...?" His voice is rough from the fever.

I smile, remembering my own words from so long ago. "Quite lengthy, Daniel Jackson."

A small smile curves his dry lips. "Somebody want to fill me in?"

Major Ferretti joins us, looking at me in question. I understand what he asks, but do not
believe we should withhold the truth from him. Daniel Jackson values truth above all, he
expects it from us...from me...and I will give him no less. His eyes close as I reveal to him
Dr. Fraiser's diagnoses, and the possible ramifications of both, then he nods once and looks
directly at me.

"And Heru'ur?" He asks quietly.

"Gone for the moment. He was injured in the same battle which disabled the DHD. He will
return."

"Yeah," he drawls in that way he has which means his mind is considering many things at once.
"You guys should have left while you could."

Major Ferretti and I speak once.

"We could not."

"Not a chance, Daniel"

Daniel Jackson smiles at us, closing his eyes. "Thanks." he whispers.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, Daniel Jackson?"

"I need to talk to Jack."

*****

Chapter 23: Dr. Daniel Jackson

Well, it's not like I didn't suspect something like this.

 I knew after the first few weeks these weren't like any kind of headaches I 've ever had in my
life. It wasn't long after everything with Amaunet so Janet was inclined to think it was
nothing more than stress, too much caffeine and a return to my evidently predictable patterns
for dealing with it. After a while, I just got used to the pain.until Netu when everything
started getting worse...nausea bad enough to kill my appetite, spells of blinding pain no
amount of Tylenol would faze, vision distortions. I was worried enough to let Janet run her
tests before I left...that should have made her more suspicious than anything else. But I was
just as determined to do *this*.

And now my friends are trapped here, Heru'ur's going to be back any time now, and they're all
lookin

Yeah, like that.

Like Jack's looking

I try to smile at him and wave him over to me. Teal'c and Ferretti back off none too subtly,
for which I'm grateful. This is going to be hard enough...I don't want an audience.

Jack puts on his best gung-ho smile. "Welcome back. I was starting to get a little worried
there."

I nod at that and take a long look at him. The way his brow creases and the tight lines around
his mouth tell me he's worried. The dark shadows in his eyes tell me I've got  him scared...I
hate that.

"Don't." It's almost a whisper, but Jack's voice never needed volume or a lot of words to make
itself understood...I guess he's reading a few things in my face as well. He leans closer,
keeping his voice soft. "Don't, Daniel. We'll handle it. Just like always."

I almost laugh at that, would if I had the energy to spare. It's just so much like Jack to
think sheer stubborn will can make a difference here. Who knows? He may be right. And between
us...well, that's a lot of stubborn.

Okay, I can go along with that.

Jack smiles again, broader this time. We haven't said a dozen words, but then...when have we
ever needed to? The promise has been given and accepted. I won't give up, he won't let me.

Now we just have to figure out a way to get us all home.

"Carter's working on it, Daniel."

Just those words, but the meaning is clear...Sam is every bit as stubborn as we are, she won't
give up either.

I nod my head again. I'm getting tired, but I really don't want to sleep anymore.

"How about some dinner?" Jack asks.

Just the thought sends a wave of sickness straight into my stomach and I shake my head. I reach
out a hand asking for help to sit up. Jack looks over at Ferretti, hovering just out of
earshot. Ferretti shrugs his shoulder...I think he's wondering when he became the resident
medic.

"Jack." I'm asking a lot here, they're afraid and I understand that, but I won't just lie here
helplessly and play the patient patient.

They all trade a look that quite clearly says they aren't happy about, but 'hey, what can we do
with him when he's like that?' I almost laugh at them...it's good they know me so well.

Jack sighs hugely, reaching out a hand.

Yes, it's a very good thing.

*****

Chapter 24: Captain Janet Fraiser, M.D.

This *has* to work.

Sam says it will,, but I can hear the echoes of self-doubt in her voice. The naquada reactor is
nowhere near its intended date of completion, but the tests look good. Actual field performance
is an entirely different thing. What neither of us is saying.we don't have to, our thoughts
scream it.is that Daniel may not have time for her and the techs to be any more sure than what
they are. Sam Carter's "pretty sure" is as good as most people's "positive".in my considered
opinion.

The last communication with Ferretti sounded promising.hopeful. Daniel is awake, aware and the
pain doesn't seem as bad . of course regular doses of demerol tend to do that. Ferretti
mentioned a fever, that's actually a good thing. A fever equals infection and that's something
we can deal with. I just hope it isn't some secondary thing he's picked up on that planet. No,
no negatives. I want to stay as guardedly positive as I can be about Daniel' s condition. I try
to share that attitude with the general and the others as often as possible.

The general is really tearing himself up over this. I know I argued with him in the first place
over sending Daniel off this way.but I have to admit the test results just weren't proof enough
not to. Of course, I didn't *have* all the tests.and I've got my own opinions about that, too.
A certain doctoral doctor and I are going to have a long and undoubtedly heated discussion
about that once I get him back on his feet. He knew. Maybe not exactly what, but he's too damn
smart *not* to have guessed something close to the truth. And I have no doubt he wasn't exactly
forthcoming when it came to symptoms. I can't blame his silence on some macho military thing so
I guess I'll chalk it up to pure male stubbornness.heaven knows he's got a healthy dose of
that.

I wish the general would allow me or one of my staff to go through, but I understand his
reasoning on the subject. They're sitting on a powderkeg over there and Heru'ur could show up
anytime to strike the match. Major Ferretti is more than capable and he's had plenty of field
experience. I know he can be trusted to do everything right, but it's hard not to want to be
there. Daniel is my patient.sadly one of my more regular ones.and I can't help feeling my place
is there.

I'm operating, figuratively speaking, in the dark here and that's not an acceptable condition
for me. Daniel needs to be *here*.  He needs tests, steady monitoring, and too many other
things he just can't get in a cave halfway across the galaxy.

Beyond preparations to receive Daniel, things have been rather slow around the infirmary. I've
been trying to keep Kasuf occupied while Sam's busy with the reactor. Kasuf really is a dear
man.and so terribly concerned about his "boys".

I've noticed a definite kinship building between the general and Kasuf. It's no too strange a
friendship when you consider they're both leaders of their respective 'tribes'. After all, a
tribe is an extended family banded together for a common purpose and that's us in a nutshell.

And right now every ounce of energy possessed by *this* tribe is concentrated on bringing its
missing members home.

*****

Chapter 25: Heru'ur of the Goa'uld

They will die.

Slowly.

Repeatedly.

The shol'va and his companions have earned my complete and utmost wrath. I will not rest until
their blood runs freely through my hands and stains the steps of my temple. They will be mine
or the planet will burn around them, they shall not live to breathe another day.

We are less than three winwet from the planet. They have neither the intelligence nor the
ingenuity to have escaped the planet without the dialing mechanism. They cannot have escaped.
My former Jaffa.those who failed me on the planet.remarked on the rather foolish actions of the
Abydonian, the shol'va and another Tau'ri warrior. Forsaking their means of escape to aid
Jackson and O'Neill..

How weak they are.

 The Jaffa were under the impression Jackson was ill or injured. That is good. An injured man
will slow them, make them that much easier to corner.and give me a very effective weapon
against them.

They will suffer for as long as it pleases me.for as long as it takes to find the child.and
then they will die.

Three winwet and I will remove these far too persistent thorns from my mikta.

Forever.

*****

Chapter 26: Major Louis Ferretti

Two hours.

They send the naquada reactor through in two hours.

Carter's on the radio now giving us a full set of instructions on how to operate the thing.
Daniel's taking notes as fast as she can talk.and that's pretty damn fast.

I see his eyes squint occasionally as if he's having trouble focusing, but otherwise it doesn't
seem to be hurting him. I think it does him more good to be helping out the cause this way. I
can see the others checking him out and reaching the same conclusion.

Actually he's seemed a lot better since his little heart to heart with the colonel. It didn't
look to me like they were saying much, but it must've been pretty important stuff to get both
of them looking so.bull-headed. It seems to me like a corner's been turned that I didn't even
know needed turning.

I guess the colonel and Daniel did.

That's what counts.

Teal'c and Skaara are packing things up, just the essentials and the stuff we don't want to
leave lying around on a primitive planet. They're taking it all to the MALP that brought it
here.

I'm not taking out Daniel's IV until the last possible moment though. I gave him a dose of
demerol two hours ago, it'll be cutting it close for him but he doesn't want anymore until
we're back home.or not. I'm keeping a hypo handy just in case we cut it *too* close for him.

The colonel isn't budging from Daniel's side, reading the notes as he writes them, committing
the procedure to memory. Occasionally I'll see his eyes slide to Daniel's face.still too pale,
perspiration coursing a trail from hairline to sideburns. If it weren't for those tell-tale
signs of the illness still at war inside Daniel this might be just another joint mission.a
badly screwed one, but still.

Daniel's so intent on getting everything down he doesn't seem to notice our concern. It's
almost as if none of us can keep our eyes off him for very long. I don't know if we're looking
for some sign of things getting better . or signs they're getting worse. Maybe we're just
letting the sight of him sitting there doing such a normal, everyday thing reassure us that
there's a very big factor at work here called hope.

Yow, Ferretti.maybe you've been spending too much time around the kid. Some of that Indo-
pseudo-whatever philosophy rubbing off..

I laugh quietly at the thought, remembering us back on Abydos the first time. He seemed like
such a clueless dweeb. Boy, was I wrong. When push came to shove Daniel stood up to Ra, his
Jaffa and, by God, even that totally dark-side version of Colonel O'Neill.something none of the
rest of us had the desire or the suicidal guts to do.

I remember Daniel sitting there on that dusty floor after we'd escaped from Ra. Shivering from
the desert cold, coughing his lungs out from the blowing sand, shaggy   hair all over the
place, he fixed those clear blue eyes on the colonel. For a minute I thought the colonel was
going to practice his famous fire-breathing act on the guy, but Daniel didn't even have to
raise his voice.direct words delivered with that mule-headed tenacity that won't let go of a
bone once he's latched on to it.

Thankfully a few things have changed since then. Daniel's learned a little about choosing his
bones since then. Hell, the colonel's not breathed any noticeable fire for quite awhile now.

Teal'c and Skaara head out with the last load. The colonel glances up, letting me know he's
noticed. I look at Daniel, just finishing up his rewrite of Carter's instructions then back at
the colonel. Something passes between us then . an acknowledgement, a promise ... that says
we're going to do our dead-level damnedest to make sure everything turns out right for Daniel.

And for us.

Same thing really .

I reach for my pack and almost laugh again as I realize that almost-conversation I noticed
between the colonel and Daniel probably 'said' a lot more than I could ever fathom. Sometimes
you really don't need the words.

You just need understanding.

*****

Chapter 27: Teal'c of SG1, formerly of Chulak

One hour.

I have faith in Major Carter's solution, I know she has given all of her energy to finding the
means of returning us home. Her work with the naquada reactor has consumed most, if not all of
her on-planet hours.  She and Daniel Jackson are much alike in their ability to focus their
intelligence and physical resources on a problem, pursuing it unerringly until success is
met...or those physical resources simply refuse to be pushed further.

I must admit I am quite anxious to return to the SGC for Daniel Jackson's sake. I can see the
lines of stress on his face, the way his eyes flinch involuntarily at every noise, the way his
mouth tightens when he stumbles in the path. Major Ferretti tried to offer pain medication, but
Daniel Jackson refused...an action that clearly disturbed the major, but I saw him place the
hypodermic purposefully in Daniel Jackson's pocket with quiet words which brought a smile to
Daniel Jackson's face.

Skaara waits for us in hiding near the Stargate, close enough to observe without being
observed. I felt it wise to have someone watching our only means of escape, but also felt the
necessity to guard my other friends. Skaara agreed without comment, a small smile expressing
understanding of my torn desires. He called me "Danyer's Jaffa" with all the seriousness and
depth of the remarkable young man he still is. I am thankful for his sake and that of his
family that he has adjusted so well to the changes he has survived.

Daniel Jackson's Jaffa.

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Daniel Jackson would greatly dislike the connotations of that statement,
but I do not doubt he would realize a certain element of truth in it also. My life is as sworn
to his protection as it ever was to Apophis...much more so in fact because it is a service I
choose freely and with a commitment I never felt for my former master. Daniel Jackson is not my
master...he would be extremely angered at the very thought, but in many ways he does rule my
actions...and my loyalty. Very little could change that. I would not wish it to.

O'Neill, Major Carter, General Hammond and Master Bra'tac reside in my circle of protection and
loyalty. Yet there is place far deeper within me that only Daniel Jackson may reside. The
things that have passed between us have earned him a place in my heart surpassed only by the
feelings for my son. It is an extremely apt analogy, but still does not encompass the totality
of the truth...

Daniel Jackson's life and spirit must not be allowed to end here.

I become aware of O'Neill watching me from his place beside Daniel Jackson. The resolute fire
in his eyes tells me he knows my thoughts...and agrees wholeheartedly. Daniel Jackson will be
fine. We will make sure of it.

We approach Skaara's hiding place and move to sit beside him amongst the trees. Daniel Jackson
accepts water from O'Neill, nodding gratitude before laying his head on his knees. O'Neill rubs
a soothing hand over Daniel Jackson's back as he glances at his watch. I mirror the gesture
without thinking.

Forty-five minutes.

We must succeed.

There is no other option.

*****

Chapter 28: Skaara of Abydos


The reactor has arrived.

O'Neill and Teal'c are connecting the many lengths of cable to the Chaapa'ai - Stargate - as
Major Ferretti reads from Daniel's notes. I sit quietly beside Daniel, he seems to be asleep,
but I think it is simply a matter of conserving strength.

I keep a keen watch around us. The place where Heru'ur transported to his ship is just a small
distance up the hill. It is reasonable to expect he will return in the same fashion. My body is
tense as I look for any disturbance that might warn of the demon's return. The more time that
passes, the more my concern grows. Heru'ur will not rest until he exacts revenge on us. I know
this with the certainty of three years of exposure to the pervasive evilness of Goa'uld
thinking. Just as my own demon sought every bit of information that might bring him closer to
revenge against those who demeaned him in the eyes of his father, then destroyed Apophis before
he could prove himself worthy again. Klorel would have eventually plotted against Apophis, but
there was much he had yet to prove to the one who gave him life.

Heru'ur will return.

We must *not* be here when he does.

O'Neill keeps looking in our direction, his mind is clearly on Daniel.  I reach to touch
Daniel's forehead. He is very hot. He stirs, but does not raise his head. I try to convey my
concern to O'Neill without words. O'Neill nods once, his mouth set in a grim line, then turns
back to his task with determination.

They are almost ready. O'Neill reaches down to turn on the device, I can see the furtive glance
in our direction and the small hesitation in his hand before he pushes the button. There is a
spark of power from Major Carter's box, but nothing more for many long moments.

Slowly, almost with a deliberate pause, the hum of energy builds. Teal'c reaches for the first
chevron of Earth's address, shifting and locking it into place. The lock holds...and glows.

Daniel finally raises his head at the sound,, eyes barely focused. O'Neill moves to us and
bends to sit beside him so I may go to help Teal'c. I am small enough to climb easily on the
larger man's shoulders and adjust the higher symbols. I hear O'Neill speak to Daniel in
soothing tones, promising we will soon be home.

With a last glance toward the hillside, I speak a small prayer, to whoever might be listening,
that he is right.

*****

Chapter 29: Heru'ur of the Goa'uld

I think perhaps I may let some of them live.

Klorel would likely favor an alliance--however short-lived once I gain access to his
resources...in exchange for the host who escaped him. Rather a puny specimen, but pretty in its
way.

I could certainly find many uses for Daniel Jackson...he is handsome enough to serve as a host,
perhaps for my own next form...I grow rather weary of this one.  It is certainly a possibility
worthy of consideration. An appealing body and from all reports a mind full of knowledge of the
Tau'ri. He would make a pleasing change as I wait for the child to grow to a suitable stage.
Unlike Apophis and Ra, I prefer a variety of hosts.

The shol'va, of course, must die...there is no question of that.

And then there is O'Neill.

I'll want to keep him around for a time, kill him at leisure. Wipe the insolence from his face
as often as I may. Let him watch me dominate his friend then kill him again in that form.

Yes.

I do think that shall suit my pleasure quite nicely.

We have arrived.

I signal my Jaffa to gather at the transport rings. I check my personal shield once more...I
shall not be left vulnerable again. When the Jaffa are in position, I press the activator on my
wrist feeling the distinct surge of anticipation.

My revenge shall be sweet indeed.

*****

Chapter 30: General George Hammond

Major Carter estimates they should have the reactor attached and activated by now. Manual
dialing is a slow process, but SG1 has done it more than once. I have faith in my men, they'll
get the job done.

The atmosphere here in the control room is thick with tension. Kasuf and Dr. Fraiser stand near
the stairwell. I know Dr. Fraiser's team is prepped and on standby, she'll be down those stairs
the moment the gate's inner ring moves. I just hope Dr. Jackson...Daniel...is holding on. The
last report sounded good...well, not so bad anyway.

Kasuf is a good man, a good father to both his "boys". I can't help but smile when he calls
Daniel that. How many times have I fallen into that same mode of address when it comes to our
young civilian? Daniel Jackson is "our" boy just as much as he is Kasuf's. A fact we both seem
to recognize. We take our responsibilities seriously...neither technology nor cultural
separation make a damn bit of difference when it comes down to family.

Major Carter is alternately fidgeting at her computer station and chewing on her nails. I'd
tell her to stop, but I know it helps her get through this terrible waiting. This is going to
work...I believe that. Deep down I think she does too, but she's got her usual case of "what-
ifs" and there isn't much I could say to help. We've been there and done this way too many
times. It's a wonder she's got any fingernails left.

I've noticed a definite tension throughout the base since Kasuf came through with two-thirds of
SG2. The grapevine I'm not really supposed to know exists has been in full operation and the
facts of the situation are pretty well known all over the mountain. Personnel who have no real
business or duty in this section ate finding reasons to stick close to the corridors from the
gateroom to the infirmary. I could order them all back to their own areas, but I know they're
just as worried as the rest of us...wanting to help, powerless to do more than wait.

If shared thoughts and energy hold any power in this universe then the SGC is lit up like a
mega-watt Christmas tree and pouring out amps of goodwill for our missing men...

As the minutes click by, I'm starting to get a little...hell, make that a lot...worried.
Carter's tapping her fingers lightly on the computer monitor...it's almost like she's willing
the glyphs to spin and lock into their slots. I notice Harriman's little wince of irritation.
He prefers a more ordered procedure in the control room...but I know he understands the major's
nervousness, I've seen his toes tapping when he thinks no one notices.

I feel like I ought to say something encouraging, but somehow I can't bear to shatter this
utter stillness. To break the spell of concentration and hope that's settled over us. I finally
move to go top off my now-cold coffee...

The click-whine of a gate sequence initiating reaches my ears, the sound we' ve all been
waiting for with every passing minute.

There are no teams off-world.

Barring an surprise visit from the Tok'ra or...heaven forbid...an attack from still another
pissed-off Goa'uld...our boys are coming home.

*****

Chapter 31: Dr. Daniel Jackson

The reactor works.

I knew Sam could do it.

Guess I owe her a nice dinner at that Moroccan place she likes so much. If I can...

Don't go there, Daniel. No negative thinking on that front, you made a promise. It's hard not
to be negative when your brain is doing pressure exercises on your skull. Jack always did say I
had too much stuff in my head...

God, now I know I'm sick. I'm doing Jack-jokes.

Jack's giving me that "no shit, things will be okay" look...the one he uses when he feels like
things are going just a little too well. He's waiting for the cloud to fall over this silver
lining. I think we all are. It's already been longer than I expected, Heru'ur should have been
back by now. He's not going to just let this go...It's a genetic thing with the Goa'uld I
think. Hurt for hurt, pain for pain...

Don't think I want to go there either...

Five chevrons locked. Skaara's balancing like an acrobat on Teal'c shoulders to reach the sixth
one. I'd laugh at the image if I didn't know it was going to hurt. I'm trying my best to stay
calm here, I promised Jack I wouldn't give up. I won't.

It just hurts so damn much.

My hand brushes across the hypodermic Ferretti put in my pocket. It's tempting. Jack notices
and gives me that other look, the one that speaks of sympathy, empathy...the desire to take the
pain away. Jack's got that mile-wide protective streak...he can't stand to see any of us
hurting. He really does see us as his family, as well as friends. Jack really should have had
another chance at being a father...he'd be a great one. A lot of times he's hardly more than a
big kid himself.

The big kid gives me a smile as we hear the last chevron locks and the wormhole springs to life
with the sound that's become so thrillingly familiar. Jack stands and reaches down to help me
up.

"C'mon, Danny...We're going home."

It takes a few seconds for me to find my feet...and a few more seconds to suppress a laugh at
the inanity of that thought. Jack steadies me without a word, putting an arm around me and
guiding me toward the gate. Teal'c and Ferreti are guiding the MALP back through. Skaara is
focused on the hilltop, I know he's as worried as I am that...

Skaara's eyes grow wide suddenly.

I don't even have to look to know the cause.

Jack curses beside me and tries to pick up our pace. I'm trying, but I don't think...

A staff blast between us and the gate affirms my fears.

We aren't going to make it.

*****

Chapter 32: Colonel Jack O'Neill

Damn.

This whole situation has sucked from the beginning...now it's just plain ridiculous. I knew
things were going too well. Five lousy minutes...two even...and we'd've been long gone. But
nooo, Big H. has got the same screwed up timing as the rest of the Goa'uld.

Teal'c and the others are trying to give us cover, but they're way too exposed there. The DHD
is barely big enough for one person to squeeze behind, much less three.

Daniel is doing his best. Like he'd do any less. I can feel his muscles trembling under my arm,
but he's giving it all he's got.

This feels too damn familiar.

I hate that feeling.

As we get closer, the others start backing toward the gate.

Good.

I don't want them coming after us again. We just got lucky last time because we hurt the mean
old Goa'uld...now he's mean *and* pissed. Teal'c's blasting away, Skaara's found the zat gun
again and Ferretti just used up a clip on his M15. Damn good support, damn good guys. If they
can just keep those Jaffa too rattled to shoot straight, we may have a chance here.

Almost there.

I don't even try to look up the hill. The staff blasts tell me all I need to know about how
close they're getting. Doesn't seem to be as many blasts as there were a few minutes ago. A few
points for the home team.

Less than ten yards now.

I give Teal'c a nod, he understands and pushes Skaara through bodily. Ferretti looks over his
shoulder and keeps shooting.

Closer...

I yell at Ferretti to go. He looks like he's about to argue but starts backing toward the gate,
firing every step of the way.

We're at the steps.

Ferretti disappears into the wormhole.

Teal'c won't go, I'm not even going to try. He's shooting that staff so fast I can barely count
a second between the shots.

First step.

Second.

Thir...damn.

Danny's down...

*****

Chapter 33: Major Samantha Carter

I knew it would work.

'Right, Sammy, tell yourself another one.'

My father's voice is as plain as if he were standing right beside me.

I wish he were.

I can't remember ever feeling quite so helpless...well, maybe there have been a few other
times...

No negatives, Sam.

Daniel always tells me that when we're in the midst of some puzzle that's got us stumped and
I'm ready to give it up.

No negatives.

My classically trained scientific brain didn't have a clue as to what Daniel meant the first
time he said it. I couldn't figure out why I shouldn't be negative when faced with a seemingly
impossible task that every theory I'd come to recognize as immutable fact failed to explain it.
But then I watched him. The incredibly intuitive brain working seemingly tirelessly through one
night and into another, seeing things I'd overlooked, countering my negatives with...if not
exactly positives then alternative perspectives. Perspectives which, if not entirely correct as
a whole, bought about enough of a change in my thinking to lead us to another path...another
way of viewing the problem and eventually to an answer.

I love those 'Doctor Jackson sessions', as I call them. The times when Daniel can and does
bring to the forefront that impressively-educated, and decidedly unorthodox, intelligence. His
hands and voice race one another in their haste to express themselves as quickly as his brain.

Sometimes I'll just sit back and simply enjoy the show. The ever more frenetic pacing, the
hands...so expressive in their own right, the eyes that seem to focus on things just outside of
my ability to perceive.

It's quite a sight to behold...

I remember the first time Colonel O'Neill walked in during one such session. The look that came
over the colonel's face was priceless. It was pretty obvious to me that, while the colonel had
previous been aware of that Daniel was "way smarter" than most, it was probably the first time
he'd actually been privy to the process proving it. The rapid-fire self-dialog expounding on
obscure fact...I mean nobody really is supposed to know this much stuff without a mountain of
reference books. Daniel in full 'Doctor Jackson' mode is a scholar's dream...or nightmare
depending on the topic in question. The colonel just stood there staring, his open-mouthed
expression shifting from mild amusement to deep confusion to just plain disbelief. Over time
I've seen that disbelief shift to respect...a further foundation for the unique friendship the
two of them share.

The sixth chevron has locked before I pull myself out of my thoughts to monitor the final glyph
locking in. I'm chewing on my thumbnail again as we wait for the iris code.

I knew we'd done good work with the reactor, but that knowledge did little to ease my fears
that something...anything...could go wrong. When the inner ring started to spin I was able to
release the breath I'd been holding since Ferretti pushed my backside into the
wormhole...literally.

That man had better watch his own backside. He's definitely on my shit list for the foreseeable
future. I'm not *seriously* angry with him...much...and if this works I'll be glad he did it,
but it just a matter of principle with me...

My place was with my team.

The MALP comes through but nobody's breathing yet.

A huge cheer goes up when Skaara nearly flies out of the wormhole.

And there's Major Ferretti...coming out backwards, gun still raised.

There's two...

Long moments pass...

Too long...

Where is SG1?

*****

Chapter 34: Heru'ur of the Goa'uld

This cannot be!

They are escaping.

I will not allow it.

A force of nine Jaffa against three Tau'ri...and six of mine have fallen. My Jaffa masters will
pay dearly for this ineptitude.

How is this possible?

The shol'va is very good, I will grant him that...he would have to be to serve as first prime
to one as hated as Apophis. The humans...are obviously more fortunate than skilled.

O'Neill and Jackson should have been left behind...yet the others do not yield until the
shol'va forces them through the chaap'ai. No there is only the shol'va to guard their approach.
I urge my Jaffa forward, this is our chance.

Protected within my personal shield, I advance quickly. Another Jaffa beside me
falls...incompetent fool. One manages to scorch O'Neill's shoulder as he reaches the final step
with his burden. The shol'va kills that Jaffa also. No matter. I am close enough now. With all
the anger of the previous defeats I have suffered at the hands of these humans I reach out a
hand to gather Daniel Jackson to me.

They are mine now, they will not leave him...

I have seen that.

O'Neill climbs to his feet and the shol'va approaches slowly, weapon at the ready even now. I
nod to my last remaining Jaffa and he takes the weapon. They both watch me with a wariness and
anger that almost makes my previous defeat palatable. I have found their point of
vulnerability, I hold him apart from them and they hate me for it.

Good.

Jackson is clearly weak and ill. He can barely remain standing in my grasp, I am unsure he even
realizes he *is* within my grasp. Irrelevant. I will take him to my sarcophagus and have him
for a host. My plans will come to pass as I use this one to kill O'Neill and the shol'va, then
delve into his knowledge and take his entire planet. The first world...the world that dared to
rebel against my father...shall be mine.

O'Neill is shouting at me. He thinks his words will sway me? I have no desire to listen to his
posturings. He is defeated, he has only to accept it. The shol'va knows, he whispers words of
his new reality to the human. O'Neill nods and acquiesces as my Jaffa forces them both to their
knees. The chaap'ai flickers behind them...it will close soon.

Jackson raises his head at the sound, but seems barely able to comprehend what he sees. I
loosen my grip to force him to his knees as well, but feel a sudden stabbing in my neck.

Jackson!

He has injected me with something.

He did not pick his target randomly, my essence is quickly being affected by some drug.

No!

Jackson pushes me away and stumbles toward the others. The were obviously prepared for
Jackson's attack on me, the shol'va advances on my Jaffa with impressive speed and snaps his
neck with little effort. I try to raise my own weapon, but find my strength failing me quickly.

The two humans stagger together through the fluctuating chaap'ai as the shol'va retrieves his
weapon and follows them. The last thing I see before my vision fails me is the energy of the
staff weapon exploding against the device attached to the chaap'ai.

Then I see nothing at all.

*****

Chapter 35: Major Louis Ferretti

C'mon, guys...this is taking too long.

Skaara stands beside me; he feels it too.

The wormhole is destabilizing...a few more minutes and it'll be gone. They were nearly on the
dais when I last saw them...Teal'c had them covered. What could've happened?

Well, duh, Ferretti...Heru'ur is what happened...

Somehow, someway, old baldy has done something to slow them down, but he was a good twenty
yards off when I last saw him. How fast can snakes run anyway?

I look up toward the observation window. They're all up there, locked in some sort of frozen
concentration on the Stargate like it holds the answers to all the mysteries of the universe.
In a way I guess it does...our little piece of it anyway. Carter manages to break out of the
spell, meeting my eyes with questions I don't need words to understand. I can only give her a
helpless shrug. They should've been here by now. I would never have left them if I hadn't
believed that. Carter nods, she understands that.

Not that it helps...

The tech starts counting down the seconds until the gate shuts down.

Ten damn seconds.

C'mon...

The event horizon flickers once. Twice.

I look at Skaara again, his eyes are bright as hope starts to die.

Dammit, we were so close.

I put a hand on his shoulder, thinking to get him away from here when a thud hits the ramp
behind me. We turn around together to see the colonel and Daniel stumble to their knees a few
feet out of the gate. Another flicker of the wormhole and Teal'c is there, staff in hand and a
look of almost smugness on his face.

We all just stand there.

The colonel is sitting there on his knees, blood seeping down one shoulder from a staff wound
while Daniel leans heavily on the other. The colonel just hangs onto him, finally looking up to
see all of us staring at them.

The colonel grins and nudges Daniel who raises his head slowly, smiling.

"Think we could get a hand here guys?" The colonel's voice is soft, almost conversational.
"We're just a little..."

As the colonel's voice trails off, Daniel fills in, "...tired. Actually we're very, very..."

Daniel slumps a little further against the colonel, who finishes the thought with, "...*very*
tired."

*These guys ought to take this show on the road.*

The familiar interchange seems to pull us all out of the spell that's held us motionless for so
long. Hammond starts yelling for medics and the well-oiled machine that is the SGC swings into
action.

Fraiser is there beside Daniel...I never even saw her come in. The corpsmen are loading Daniel
onto a gurney over his protests, Fraiser stops him cold with a bantam-weight finality I've
never been able to argue with. Daniel tries but he's out before they even hit the corridor.

Teal'c has got the colonel to his feet so I go help just to have something useful to do.

As we head toward the infirmary I just have to ask, "So, guys, anything interesting happen on
the way to the gate?"

*****

Chapter 36: Kasuf of Abydos

My sons have returned to me.

Skaara has washed and changed. He sits now in the shelter of my arms much as he did when he was
a child. He has been very strong protecting Daniel, now he needs to feel protected.. I am glad
to serve as his guardian now, as I always have been...and ever shall be.

For a moment time falls away and we are back on Abydos, holding one another against the terror
Ra always brought with him. I would draw both my children close to me as the walls seemed to
shake with Ra's anger. Against such fear I had only my presence with which to comfort them, as
their presence comforted me. As long as we were together, I would tell them, nothing else had
power over us. Not even vengeful gods.

How wrong I was in that assumption...

Now my son rests in my embrace once again as we wait to discover Daniel's fate. Carter sits
beside Teal'c across from us, the large man's reassuring presence is almost strong enough to
encompass us all. Ferretti is here with Hammond.

O'Neill walks...I know it is his way when concerned for one he cares for.

I have watched this tribe gather itself, working tirelessly to bring its lost brothers home. It
is a good tribe; Hammond is a good leader. He feels deeply, cares much. I think he considers
Daniel as much a friend as O'Neill does. I have seen the lines of guilt around his eyes, he
feels responsible for this. He need not. I have told him, and will tell him again, that no one
may stop Daniel when he truly does not wish to be stopped.

It is a difficult lesson to learn, but I very quickly learned this about my new son. Daniel is
like the vernala.the creature that hunts in the deserts, stalking its prey tirelessly for many
days and nights until the unfortunate animal is collapses from exhaustion. Daniel pursues his
own goals in much the same manner.

We have waited many hours now. Janet has not come to tell us anything, whether this is a good
thing, I do not know. O'Neill should rest, his arm is obviously giving him much pain, but he
will not sit. He is completely focused on a place none of us may intrude, a place where he
gives his strength to Daniel...refuses to accept any other outcome than that Daniel be well.
They are all focused so. I have seen this tribe do this before when they worked so hard to
bring them all home...I see it now as they sit here together in silence, concentrating their
strength on their friend...their brother...beyond the closed doors.

I pull my youngest son closer to me, feeling a measure of hope that the love of these good
people will perform the miracle that makes my other son well.

*****

Chapter 37: General George Hammond

All we can do is wait.

After too damn many years in the military, I know a lot about waiting...but I still hate doing
it.

We'd all been working toward the goal of bringing our men home for so long...it's still a
little hard to accept that we've done it. The silence in the gate room as we all just stared
down at Colonel O'Neill and Daniel thundered in my ears. It took us time to register that the
furious battle to get them back was over...the storm had passed. Then it hit me...as I'm sure
it did so many others...we'd only weathered the first wave.

Now the second front is upon us...and we have to stand fast against it.

Dr. Fraiser finally came out to give us an update on Daniel. It is an abscess, but it's too big
and pressing on some pretty vital parts of his brain. They're going to drain it, dose him up
with the latest antibiotics and hope for the best. Dr. Fraiser told us the next twelve hours
will tell the tale.

More waiting.

Daniel has been asleep since Dr. Fraiser broke up the floor show on the ramp, but she's going
to let us in to see him one at a time. I'm trying not to think about *why* she's doing it...and
I for one am not going to use my time to say any goodbyes. Too often in the past we've all
given up on Daniel Jackson. No more. We aren't going to let him give up...I can see that
determination on every face in this room. We'll hold on...and help him to do the same.

 SG1 is doing that silent communication thing again. Fleeting looks, bare hand
movements...promises made in silence, sworn on the blood and tears they've shared over three
years together as a *team. * A team in the fullest, richest, most enduring sense of the word.
They'll stand together with Daniel, regardless of the outcome...

And, God forbid, if the worst should happen they'll stand with Daniel every moment until the
last...and beyond.

I've been watching Kasuf as he sits there holding his son. The man has an amazing capacity for
caring...it pours off him in waves. Compassion, concern, strength. His entire body, so still as
he embraces Skaara, seems to embrace us all. I'm glad he's here...that he's been here all
along. I consider it the highest honor Kasuf calls us his friends, calls Daniel his son.

Son. I always dropped that time-honored term for any man younger than me like a cadet drops the
word "sir." But it's more than that now. Just like Kasuf considers his tribe to be his
children, the members of the SGC are mine to worry over, to care about, to put back in line
when they mess up.

I guess this old Texan can learn a few new tricks.

As Teal'c goes in to visit Daniel, I reach out a hand to Kasuf's shoulder, lending support
where I know it is needed and will never be asked for. His eyes smile at me...so wise. He
understands what I'm feeling.

We'll see this one through together...one father to another

*****

Chapter 38: Teal'c of SG1, formerly of Chulak

Daniel Jackson looks far too young lying there.

He has always looked so to me, but when he is awake his eyes are so full of wisdom one forgets.
I would wish to see his eyes, to see the small smile that would at once lend comfort and
reassure. Even should he be dying...even then he would first be concerned for us. His heart is
true, has always been so. I cannot think of my life in this place without thinking of Daniel
Jackson.

From the moment I felt a tap on my leg and saw the symbol sketched into the dirt by the sad-
eyed young man who stood up to Apophis only to be struck down, to the moment Daniel Jackson
forgave my grievous transgression against him, to the moment I was forced to kill his
beloved...Daniel Jackson has been 'open' to me. He has taught me much of this world, as well as
many others. He has taken the time to show me the goodness in the Tau'ri when it appeared to me
there was very little. By his example, Daniel Jackson has shown me a path other than that of
the warrior. I am not prepared to allow him to falter. I believe there is much yet for him to
achieve on that path.

Paths.

Strange that our divergent lives would come together in this place and time. I had nearly given
up hope that my life would change from what it had become as First Prime of Apophis. If it had
not been for the strength and determination I witnessed in O'Neill and his group...so much
would have been different.

O'Neill, Daniel Jackson...they would have died that day. The Tau'ri would have remained just as
much a mystery as they had always been among the Jaffa. I would have continued as I had always
done until the day I died in service to the false gods...or killed myself when it all became
too difficult to live with any longer. My son would have followed my footsteps down the same
road of self-hate and helplessness...

My life would have ended that day though my body lived on.

On a moment's notice, for reasons I have never totally discovered, I made a choice. I have
never regretted taking that new path, but I know this road I travel will become much less
without Daniel Jackson to share the journey.

I raise a hand to his forehead, willing him to understand the many things I cannot speak.

I smile as my fingers brush back his damp hair realizing he already knows.

*****

Chapter 39: Captain Janet Fraiser, MD

Waiting has never been my strong suit...

As a physician, it's hard enough to wait for test results that hold a person's fate in the
balance. As a friend of the patient, it's nearly impossible.

That specialized knowledge I worked so hard to gain gives me a vantage point no one else could
possibly share. I know the prognosis, I know the odds, I know all too well what could go wrong,
all that could go wrong...

I'm not going to think about those things now...not with the rest of the SGC out there putting
every ounce of their energy into positive thoughts. I *have* to keep believing that...once
again...Daniel will defeat the odds.

I've seen him do that so many times, each time making me wonder whether this will be *it.* The
time when he doesn't pull some miracle out of his floppy hat, the time when we finally lose the
wonderful spark he brings to our lives, the time I actually have to face the rest of his team
with the words I never want to have to say...

I won't say them...not even in the privacy of my own mind.

Daniel can't die.

I reach for another cold compress. He's still so hot. I wish he were awake, I need to see him
awake, but the sedatives we gave him to perform the drainage procedure will keep him out for
awhile. When he's awake, those eyes provide a comfort all their own. A comfort born of
endurance, of survival, of a strength of 'self' and an expansiveness of heart I've rarely had
occasion to know in another person. I've come to rely on that comfort...

I thought I'd lost it once after the fiasco with Machello's machines. It was touch and go for a
while there, I wondered if Daniel would ever be able to forgive me for my part in that. I
should have fought harder to keep him here with us. I shouldn't have let MacKenzie strong-arm
me into taking his diagnosis on face value. After all, damn it, I've seen stranger things than
that in my time with the SGC...I should at least have suspected something else. But I
didn't...and no excuse in the world will ever make up for it.

But he let me off the hook...

It took some time, but he let it go...and worked really hard to get me to do the same.

The whole thing put a strain on Cassandra and I think in the end that was what did it. He
couldn't bear to see Cassie hurt by our differences.

That was nothing compared to the hurt she'll feel if he...

Don't think that way, Janet. Cassie is *not* going to lose her 'Uncle Daniel'...

I won't let her.

*****

Chapter 40: Major Louis Ferretti

I think the colonel's about to crash...

It's hard enough holding everything together after a mission like we just went through. Your
brain keeps telling you it's over but your body's still on this major high that keeps all your
senses on full alert. On top of it all this time we have the added tension of not knowing
what's going on with Daniel...

The colonel's been pacing the floor non-stop ever since the medics tied his arm up. Maybe it's
adrenaline still working on him...or maybe just the fact of not wanting to stand still and
think about what *might* happen...

No. That's not how the colonel operates. He doesn't deal with problems by avoiding them. He
looks them in the eye and meets them with a conviction I've often envied...at least now he
does. Before Abydos it would have been an empty darkness in his eyes, making them glow like
embers from hell's own pit...the look that made you want to pull the ragged edges of your soul
around what was left of your heart and pray he wasn't aiming that look at you...

I remember the look a lot of people mistakenly referred to as the 'O'Neill cold-ass bastard
glare'. Kowalski and I talked about it once, pretty much agreeing there was nothing cold at all
about Jack O'Neill...

That look was fire...promising retribution in ways only seen in imagination...or nightmare...

There's still a lot of fire in the colonel's eyes, but now it's more like a fire tempered by
feelings he wouldn't let in before. Feelings that didn't exactly die with his son, but
definitely got lost for awhile...

*Whoa, Ferretti, that's pretty deep even for you...*

It's true though.

The colonel O'Neill from four years ago and the one pacing the floor of this room projecting
every ounce of spare energy he's got through those doors and into Daniel's room are as far
apart as Earth and Abydos...in every way. This Colonel O'Neill is one hell of a guy...and a
damn fine friend.

I think the man lying in that room had a hell of a lot to do with that change, more than any of
us...even the colonel...ever realized. Daniel doesn't even seem to notice the way people take
to him, try to be 'more' around him...he'd laugh at me for even thinking something like that.

Maybe it's just because he's become such a breath of reality among us. Not to say we've
forgotten how to be 'human' in that broad metaphysical sense, but without a doubt a lot of
us...especially those who've seen combat...tend to misplace that particular trait...and tend to
treasure it whenever we do see it.

I just wish...

No. Daniel doesn't need wishes tonight. Instead I try to remember the prayer Mama taught me as
soon as I was big enough to realize there was more to the world than just Mama and Daddy and
the farm that *was* my world up until then.

I just hope the Good Shepherd is inclined to let us keep our particular treasure around for
awhile...

*****

Chapter 41: Major Samantha Carter

I hate seeing him so still.

Daniel's never still...

I want him to wake up now and be okay. I want him to smile the 'gee, guys, were you really
worried about me' smile that never seems able to accept that anyone could possibly spare the
time to be worried about him. Daniel's got a hundred different little smiles, almost all of
them tainted by a ghost of self-deprecation...a simple lack of understanding of his own worth.
Those little smiles alternately cause my heart to break for his sake or to work all the harder
to chase those ghosts away.

Goodness knows Daniel's got more than his share of ghosts...

I hate watching his head turn away when emotions get too near the barriers he raised around
himself when his parents died, barriers that grew stronger with every subsequent loss. Little
by little he's been letting us behind those barriers, but there's still a hint of...something.
Something that wants to let go, but is still just too damn reticent to let it happen. Something
we've all subconsciously responded to and worked hard to dispel...

Three years ago I went to Abydos expecting to meet the incredible mind that had deciphered the
Stargate in a fraction of the time the rest of us had spent scratching our heads over it. Up
until that point I think that was *all* I expected to meet...I'd never stopped to consider the
person beneath the intellect...and I distinctly remember feeling a rather superior disgust at
the thought of such an obviously brilliant man wasting it all on a primitive planet light-years
from Earth.

Then I met him.

Now admittedly I was a little clueless myself at the time. I'd always been so wrapped up in my
theories and studies...not to mention proving myself to the Armed Forces good ole boy
network...to have much of a social life (not counting Jonas, of course, and I'd really rather
not count him at all). But after watching Daniel with his wife and his chosen family, I
suddenly understood it all...and quickly discovered the amazing heart that came part and parcel
with the package known as Daniel Jackson.

Those first weeks back on Earth put Daniel through a form of hell I had no reference for until
my father was captured by Sokar. I only had to survive a few days of the startlingly painful
uncertainty Daniel had to cope with for three years.

I don't know how he did it...

The enthusiasm remains only slightly dampened, the wonder barely muted, the openness only
mildly tempered by a hard-won caution...the wit has definitely grown an edge but that's as much
in response to the colonel's influence as anything else.

Daniel...our conscience, our voice, our friend.

No longer as innocent as he once was...if he ever truly was...facing life with agelessly wise
eyes and an openness to all the wonders of the universe made all the more miraculous for the
things he's had to survive. We need that wonder, that reminder to look at all sides of the
equation...

I brush a hand through the scruff of bangs across his forehead thinking it possibly seems a
little cooler than it had been when I first came in...

C'mon, Daniel, keep fighting and come back to us.

*****

Chapter 42: Colonel Jack O'Neill

I need you to wake up here, Daniel...

Doc's almost ready to shoot me full of the same stuff she gave you and dump me in the next bed.
Hell, it's just a staff burn. We both know we can keep going with one of these...not much fun,
but with enough of a reason...

Don't care one bit for this reason, Danny...

Doc says even if---after tonight-- you'll have to stay on antibiotics for a month or so, but
you could go back to work in a couple of weeks. We'll find us a couple of nice safe, *deserted*
temples and let you dig to your heart's content. Hell, I'll even grab one of those little
trowel things and help...for a while, at least...

I think I'd give every cent of my retirement to see your eyes light up over some
incomprehensible marks on the wall. Hell, just to see your eyes open in something other than
pain or fever...or fear.

You're good at hiding it, you know. The fear. But I've learned how to read those eyes and I
know just how scared you really were back there when Heru'ur grabbed you, scared for us as much
as yourself. I can't believe you did that, buddy. You are definitely going to be tops on his
hit list for a while...you know how those guys like to hold on to grudges. Don't worry about
it, though, we'll be around to back you up...just like always. Just like you're always around
to back us up.

It's what we do, right?

It's what we've worked so hard to learn to do...and dammit you are *not* backing out on us, you
hear me? We're finally getting to the point where we're getting this teamwork thing...this
*friendship* thing...down pat and I'll be damned in a dozen hells before I let you go now.

It is just *not* happening.

Damn.

C'mon, Daniel, give me a little sign here. You know how much I despise waiting around for you
to get to stuff in your own good time...it's a flaw on my part and I'm honestly working on it,
but I need something to hang on to here. I don't know how much longer I can keep holding on
here without you to back me up. We have to fight this together...kinda hard to do with you off
in Doc's drug induced o-zone. She says you need it and I guess she's right, but...

God.

I sound pretty stupid here, don't I? But you're used to that by now. You know what I'm trying
to say anyway, you've gotten pretty good at deciphering O'Neill-speak...Guess that's why you're
the linguist, huh?

I'm just trying to say, I need you, my friend...and you are my friend, you know that, right?
The best kind of friend...You don't give in to me and my moods, and somehow you don't make me
feel like a total ass when you do it...that's a hell of a gift all by itself. You stand by me
through a lot of shit, a lot of which I tend to dish out personally...but you see under all of
it and try to find *me*. You don't try to change me, except by damn fine example...and I do
appreciate the fact you realize that tactic wouldn't work real well with me. Lot of work,
aren't I?

I think I'm learning just how much work goes into being a friend...not that I'm complaining,
you understand. Just realizing there's more to friendship than beer and pizza and a game on
t.v. It takes time and commitment and sometimes just a simple willingness to be around, even
when you're complaining you don't need a babysitter. I'm not your babysitter, Daniel...although
you *do* look damn awful young lying there like that...I'm just your friend...first, last and
always. Some things are definitely worth the effort.

C'mon, Danny, we've still got work to do 'out there'...

I'm not saying we *can't* do it without you...but it'd sure be a hell of a lot less fun. You
know Teal'c doesn't understand my sense of humor, Carter...well...I think they removed her
funny bone at the Pentagon. At least you give me the eyebrow-wince thing...and, admit it, I've
seen you smile now and again. Really, I know you do.

Just like you are right now...

"Daniel?"

*****

Chapter 43: Dr. Daniel Jackson

I feel like I've been floating for a very long time...

A peek upwards confirms I'm in the infirmary...why am I not surprised...?

The abscess, Janet said something about draining it...

Yeah, I remember that part...

I remember her voice as she put me out, and other voices...after...

People talking to me. Not letting me go too far...

It felt good, anchoring...

Jack?

He's sitting over there mumbling to himself, something about his sense of humor...

What sense of humor, Jack?

He looks pretty rough, I'm surprised Janet's letting him hang around...

Oh.

I guess she might have had *more* reason to let him stay...

Wow.

That's a creepy thought.

Jack's still over there mumbling, but I can't seem to find the energy to let him know he's got
an audience.

Hey, big guy, over here. Archaeologist? Bed?

He looks up finally and I smile at him...sort of. It feels like I'm smiling anyway...

"Daniel?"

Jack's voice sounds raw...like he's been too quiet for too long. That's never good where Jack's
concerned. I try to force some sound out of my own throat, but it just comes out as a breath
with a "J" at the beginning...

Jack smiles anyway, reaching a glass and straw to my lips.

"A little dry there?" Jack's eyes are looking deeper than just the surface, like he's trying to
fathom something even he isn't sure of.

I nod thanks to him for the water, and try again. "Okay?"

I'm not sure if I'm asking if he's okay, I'm okay...or just things in general, but he seems to
understand.

"I'm better now," he smiles. "You?" His hand touches my forehead. "Actually you feel cooler...I
should get Doc..."

He starts to get up, but I reach up to grab his arm before he can get out of range.

"What's wrong, Daniel?" His eyes are on me again.

I shake my head, trying to put a lot of things into words my brain isn't quite ready to
process. I can feel moisture in my eyes, emotions threatening to spill over when my words
can't...

Jack sighs, a deep cleansing sound and his hand touches my cheek with a brief tap. "It's okay,
Daniel. I hear you..."

*****

Chapter 44: Skaara of Abydos

Daniel is going to recover.

Dr. Fraiser sounds almost joyful as she comes out of the room to tell us. She is a very small
woman, and is likely well practiced in the ways of Daniel's friends...as soon as she says this,
she moves quickly out of the doorway.

It is impossible *not* to want to go to Daniel...to see for ourselves that he is returned to
us.

He is lying there in the small bed, looking paler than I ever recall seeing him and his eyes
are shadowed, but no longer reflect pain. He is smiling a little, but has no strength to do
more than raise a hand in greeting.

Father is watching Daniel's friends, a smile in his eyes at their apprehensive silence, finally
stepping forward to gently embrace Daniel.

"I am happy to see you well, good son." Father's voice is soft, as befits a sickroom, but
infinitely expressive.

Daniel returns the embrace weakly, his hand lingering a moment, speaking much with his eyes.
Father smiles, tears threatening, and steps away.

The others follow Father's example, stepping to Daniel's side for a few whispered words and a
moment's touch to reassure themselves of his continued presence. Major Carter kisses Daniel's
forehead lightly, leaning down to whisper something about his smile. Teal'c, massive in his
presence most of the time, gently touches Daniel's hand, not speaking...yet something is
shared. Ferretti smiles broadly, eyes gleaming, but cannot seem to find sufficient words.
General Hammond speaks quietly of family...and a long talk they must have later.

Finally it is my turn, I have no words for the fear I have felt for Daniel through all of
this...no words *could* express it all. My thoughts turn to my life since being taken from
Abydos, my feelings of aloneness and hopelessness. There is only one thing I feel compelled to
say to Daniel at this moment.

"I love you, my brother."

Daniel's blinks at me, eyes filling quickly as I move to embrace him firmly. His arms grasp me
weakly and his eyes move to O'Neill, a silent request evident even to me. As I move to step
away, O'Neill moves beside me, one long arm bringing me close sheltering me in a strength I
have not felt in myself for a very long time.

When I look again, Daniel is asleep.

Dr. Fraiser herds us from the room with the force of her flashing eyes...she has a very strong
personality for one so small. As we move into the room we have waited in so long, I watch
O'Neill and his team gather together in the corner. Without speaking, they lean into one
another, O'Neill's arm going around Teal'c's shoulder, Teal'c's hands touching Major Carter's
arm. It seems to me they are communing in some way known only to them...reaffirming their
friend is alive, is still a vital part of what they...together...have become. Daniel has found
a home here. A good home with good people and a purpose he cares for greatly.

When he is well I will return to *my* home. I cannot return to my former life, I have learned
too much of the immensity of evil that lies beyond the suns of Abydos. I cannot rest while they
destroy so many lives. Somehow, I will find a means to help fight them...and then I, my father,
my brother and his tribe shall indeed be free.

*fin*